04x09 - Dagger Island

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman!

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Well, I suppose you
all know why we're here.

Sure, we're here to hear
the reading of the will

of our late, lamented cousin,

the famous and rich
James Craymore.

Whom none of us have
seen in over 20 years.

Well, that's probably because

he didn't much
approve of any of us.

Mickey, a lowly cabdriver...

What's the matter
with drivin' a cab?

Nothing.

Jeff, an underpaid
college instructor.

Underpaid, yes, but
at least respectable.

And yours truly, Paul Craymore.

I guess I might be
called a playboy of sorts.

Nevertheless, as executor
of Mr. Craymore's estate,

it is my duty to
call you together

for the reading of his will.

I thought a lawyer
usually did that.

Not a newspaper editor.

In my youth I took
a degree in law,

though I never practiced.

What'd he do?

Leave it to some home
for homeless cats?

He left all his money,

one million dollars worth
of perfect diamonds,

to one of four persons.

You three and a cousin
named Jonathan Scag.

Jonathan Scag?

The Scags are another
branch of the family,

but I never heard of
anybody named Jonathan.

That's not surprising.

He's a hermit.

He's spent all his adult
life on Dagger Island.

Where's that?

Dagger Island is where
the diamonds are buried.

Now, the terms of the
will are that all of the clues

shall be given to
each of the four heirs.

So that each one shall
have an equal chance

to become sole heir
to one million dollars.

Boy, what I wouldn't
do for a million dollars.

Now, the clues will be read
to you one week from today

on Dagger Island.

You mean we gotta go
to this Dagger Island?

Where's it at?

The Caribbean.

It's a small tropical island,
about 10 miles square.

I understand the
climate is delightful.

Well, how do we get there?

Transportation
has been arranged.

You'll go in a body.

Ooh, I don't like
that word "body."

Just who's supposed to give
us these clues, Mr. White?

Uh... a little green
man from Mars?

No, as a matter of fact,

Miss Lane here has the
clues in a sealed envelope.

She and Clark Kent,

another reporter
on this newspaper,

have been named umpires
in Mr. Craymore's will.

Well, uh, where
is this Clark Kent?

He's on an
out-of-town assignment.

He couldn't get back in
time for today's meeting.

[♪♪♪]

He'll be here in time to leave
with you all next Thursday.

He and Miss Lane have been
named as absolute umpires

in the treasure hunt.

They will have authority
to disqualify any of the heirs

who takes advantage
of the others

in an unsportsmanlike
or dishonest way.

Well, he sounds like
a very important man.

I look forward to
meeting this Mr. Kent.

Someone mention my name?

Clark.

You can't possibly be back.

Why, you were miles away.

Yeah, Mr. Kent.

How could you've gotten back?

This is a modern age,
children. Haven't you heard?

I flew.

Uh, Kent, these are
the Craymore heirs,

with the exception
of Jonathan Scag.

Gentlemen.

You're familiar with
the situation, I believe.

Oh, completely, sir.

Chief, I'll betcha
a million dollars

this'll be a very
interesting trip.

[♪♪♪]

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello, Lois Lane speaking.

Hello, Lois, this is Clark.

Oh, yes, Clark.

I'm just confirming
tomorrow's reservations.

I'm at the airport.

Oh, say, uh, will you
hold on a minute?

I'm just right in the
middle of a sentence...

[MUFFLED YELLING]

Hello.

Lois. Can you hear me?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

Are you all right, Miss Lane?

Superman.

I guess so.

It was awful.

Those hands grabbed
me, and I couldn't breathe.

I know. They used chloroform.

Then something twice as deadly.

Cyanide gas.

You mean somebody
was trying to k*ll me?

I'm afraid so, Miss Lane.

Why don't you go
into Mr. White's office

and lie down and
rest for a while.

The air's much clearer in there.

All right.

[SIGHS]

I think I'll just stay here and
sort of get myself together.

All right, Miss Lane.

Thanks again. My pleasure.

Goodbye.

[WIND WHOOSHING]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[DOOR OPENS]

Clark.

How did you get
back here so fast?

Well, what do you mean?

Golly, Miss Lane,
what's the matter?

Oh, a little rocky, I guess.

Somebody just tried to k*ll me.

What? Great Caesar's ghost.

Who tried to k*ll you?

Well, whoever it was
didn't leave his calling card.

But he did take something.

The envelope with the
clues to the treasure hunt.

Well, obviously, it was
one of the three cousins.

He wanted to steal the clues

and b*at the others
to the treasure.

There's just one thing.

Actually, he hasn't
got the clues.

The envelope in my purse
was just full of blank paper.

But the real envelope
is in the office safe.

How did you know?

It figures.

One thing we know for sure.

We will have a k*ller
with us on Dagger Island.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Gentlemen, I suggest
you watch this water castor.

It's all the water
we have with us.

Hey, is that where
the hermit lives?

I think it is, Jim. Shall we go?

[♪♪♪]

Now, get outta here.

You and all your kit and boodle.

Hey, now, just a minute...

Now, don't get smart
with me, young feller.

Are you Jonathan Scag?

Yeah.

And I don't allow no
trespassi" on Dagger Island.

This is private property. It
belongs to Old Man Craymore.

Not anymore it doesn't.
Not since he d*ed.

Craymore dead?

He was just here on
his yacht a month ago.

I'll bet that's when he
buried his diamonds.

Diamonds?

I never seed him
bury any diamonds.

I'm sure glad to hear that.

Otherwise, you just
might've gotten an idea

about digging
them up for yourself.

Why, you miserable...

CLARK: Excuse me, Mr. Scag.

If I could have a word
with you in private,

I'd like to explain what we're
doing here on your island.

Yeah.

I don't like it, Jimmy.

That experience I
had back at the office

and now this awful Scag.

Yeah. He coulda k*lled somebody,

sh**ting at us that way.

Jeepers.

Now, we got two guys with us
who wouldn't stop at anything.

Well, I've managed
to pacify Mr. Scag.

Lois, he's offered
you the hut for tonight.

The rest of us
will camp outside.

And we'll give them the
treasure clues in the morning.

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Scag! Clark!

Mr. Scag, the water
cask in the hut is empty.

Well, that's mighty funny.

I'd swear it was half full.

Well, I hope we brought enough.

Well, I'll make some
coffee and find out.

Good. I'll go get
some wood for fire.

Clark!

Now what? These are empty.

You sure?

Oh, fine.

And our boat won't
be back for a week.

We'd have to be camels to
last that long without water.

Whoever did this, Jimmy,
didn't plan on our lasting.

He wants all that
treasure for himself.

Well, much good it'll
do him without water.

Oh, I'm sure he has plenty
for himself, whoever he is.

Jeepers, if we could only
get word to Superman.

Sonny, on Dagger Island
you can't get word to nobody.

Superman or nobody else.

You know, all of our water
comes in from the mainland,

and it's gone.

But you know...

There just might be some
water over at the ruins.

Ruins? Where?

Well, that's that old
Spanish fort across the island.

It's right down there
at the end of the path.

And, uh, sometimes,
there's some rainwater

collects between the two
walls, but you can't get to it.

Because it's too
steep and narrow.

Sounds like it's
worth investigating.

I think I'll take a
look at that old fort.

MEN: I'll go with you.

Uh, thank you, gentlemen.

But, you know, exercise
increases your thirst.

Better conserve your
energies. Excuse me.

[♪♪♪]

[WIND WHOOSHING]

You know, I'd give
considerable to find out

which one of you varmints
emptied them water casks.

How do we know you didn't do it?

Naw.

No, I don't think Scag's
bright enough for that.

More likely you or Jeff

or, uh, even myself,
for that matter.

Nice of you to
include yourself, Paul.

Look, even on this
kind of an island,

we're bound to find fresh
water if we dig deep enough.

Sure.

Dig 200 feet straight down

through sand and volcanic rock.

Why don't you get your
shovel and go to work.

[♪♪♪]

I hear something funny.

Nothing but the
wind in the trees.

By the way, where's Mr. Kent?

He oughta be back by now.

Probably off drinking
some of that water

he filched from the rest of us.

CLARK: Not quite accurate, Jeff.

I did find some water, however.

Water? That's right.

Where'd you find
it? By the fort?

No, Lois. I found
a nice fresh spring

in a little clearing, oh, about
a hundred yards from here.

You said there wasn't
any water on this island.

Listen, I know Dagger Island
like the back of my hand,

and there is no fresh
water on the island.

Well, you better take another
look at the back of your hand

and then go look at the spring.

Why...

[♪♪♪]

It's true! Water!

I can't believe it!

It popped up all by
itself, sudden-like.

Or as though, uh, Superman
had decided to be of some help.

I'm afraid you're
incurably romantic, Lois.

Let's just be grateful I
stumbled on the spring.

I'm grateful, all right,
but there's just one thing.

Now, we'll never know who
destroyed our water supply.

Even if it was you, huh, Jeff?

Or Mickey.

Or Cousin Scag.

He lives on this joint,

and he didn't even
tell us about the spring.

I never knew it was here before.

Nice bunch of relatives I got.

Well, I say let's fill the cask

and get on with
the treasure hunt.

I need the money.

And I say you're
absolutely right.

Lois, I believe you have
the sealed envelope?

Oh, I hid the real one.

I left it in the coffee
pot back at camp.

Thought if we had no water,
nobody'd bother the pot.

Smart girl. Here we go.

All right, gentlemen.

If you're ready,
we'll read the clues.

Apparently, they're in verse.

You figure them out

for the prize of one
million dollars in diamonds.

Okay, okay, let's start
with the poetry reading.

Thank you.

My arm is steady My hand is calm

To find my treasure
Look for my palm

Is that all?

Maybe that's enough.

Hey, sport, you
live on this island.

Has it got anything in
the shape of a guy's hand?

You know, like this?

Don't be ridiculous.

It has nothing to do with
the shape of your palm.

It has to do with a palm tree.

Oh, that's a big help.

There's probably a zillion
palm trees on this island.

There's more, if
you care to listen.

It's 20 feet From
base to treasure

On a line as straight
As the eye can measure

That's interesting.

But as Miss Lane
pointed out, which palm?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Am, uh... Am I allowed to help?

Why, of course, Jimmy.

Well, uh, I remember
reading once

about a certain kind of palm

that the old, uh, pirates
and explorers used to call

the, uh, Captain's Palm.

Well, what about it?

Well, um, since
Mr. Craymore wrote the clues,

wouldn't ya call
him the captain?

How do ya distinguish
between this Captain's Palm

and any any other palm?

Well, it's, um...

It's an albino palm,
a freak of nature.

A white palm.

Mr. Scag, is there any
such palm on this island?

Yep. Yep.

There is.

Where is it, sir?

[LAUGHS] I ain't tellin'.

I know where it is.

That gives me an
edge on the rest of you.

Don't be goofy, cousin.

You might as well tell
us and save us the time

because we just won't
let you out of our sight.

He's right, Scag.

Well...

[CHUCKLES]

I reckon so.

I reckon so.

[♪♪♪]

By golly, there is such a thing.

And somewhere around
here, there's a million dollars!

Now, wait a minute.
There's one more verse.

The line is straight
But in which direction

The answer is up
to Your own selection

But I don't get it.

Of course, I don't like
poetry much nohow.

Personally, I'm gonna dig.

Well, luckily, the sand's
only a couple of feet deep.

Can't dig beyond
that, it's solid rock.

You know, uh, there's something
fishy about this whole thing.

Why do you say that, Jim?

Well, this business
about the Captain's Palm,

the albino tree...

But you said you read about it.

I know.

But I, uh...

I made it all up in my head.

You did what? Why?

Well, I don't know.

I guess I just wanted
to get the ball rolling.

But, Jim, there
it is, big as life.

White palm tree.

Yeah.

MICKEY: Yippee! Yahoo!

I found 'em!

I found 'em!

You found what?

The diamonds,
you silly old coot.

I dug 'em up.

Who are tryin' to fool?

Let me see 'em.

Come on, Mickey, show 'em to us.

Keep away from me! I
don't have to show 'em.

They're mine. I'm rich!

I'm a millionaire!

I wonder if he'd give me
an exclusive interview.

Hey! Wait for me!

So Mickey won the jackpot.

A cab driver with
a million dollars.

Probably buy himself
an air-conditioned cab.

Why not, if that's
what he wants?

He can afford it now.

Well, I'm going back to camp.

Not me.

I'm going down to
the beach for a swim.

Now, mind the sharks.

Sharks?

I'll take a sunbath.

You know what?

I got a hunch there's a
shenanigan going on here.

What do you mean?

Why do you say that?

Well, you and
him is the umpires.

You figure it out.

But it might make
the front pages.

Sorry, kid.

As the big wheels always say,

no comment.

But It could mean
my whole career.

If you don't b*at it
and leave me alone,

you ain't gonna have
nothing but a past.

Come on, now. Let's
get back to camp.

[♪♪♪]

But it won't cost you anything.

All you have to do is give me
a story about those diamonds...

Yeah, the diamonds.

Give!

Hey, you aren't Mickey.

Mickey didn't have 'em,

so he must've given 'em to you.

Now, come on! Hand 'em over.

No, he didn't give me anything.

Come on! Hand 'em over.

Look, he didn't give me
anything to hand over.

Search me!

All right, what'd
you do with 'em?

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

That's the truth, Mr. Kent.

I didn't really dig
up any treasure.

I just made out like I found it.

In other words,
you were just trying

to eliminate competition
with the others.

Okay, okay, so I'm a heel,

but I'm no k*ller.

I sure hope that
Olsen kid didn't tangle

with the guy who
slugged me. Olsen!

You mean Jimmy was
with you when it happened?

Can you get him
back to camp? Yeah.

All right, Olsen. Where
are the diamonds?

I told you, I don't
know anything.

[♪♪♪]

I wasn't even
trying that time, kid.

You haven't got a
chance. You better talk.

I've got nothing to talk about.

[♪♪♪]

I'll give ya five seconds, kid.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

[SIZZLING]

Okay, so I tried
to pull a fast one,

and it didn't work out.

But I'd still like to find
the joker who conked me.

I know what ya mean.

I knew he didn't
find them diamonds.

How did you know?

Oh, I just figured.

Well, anyway, I guess we
better start diggin' again.

I don't think that
will be necessary.

See, uh, I have a pretty good
hunch where those diamonds are.

What? You do?

Now, wait just a minute.

If I point out the
exact spot, do I win?

According to the rules,
if you find the diamonds,

you win the treasure. Okay.

Now, you all remember the
part of the verse that goes,

The line is straight
But in which direction

The choice is up To
your own selection

So? What about it?

I say they're 20
feet straight up

in that single white
coconut on the white palm.

Jeepers, I'll climb
up and get 'em.

Now wait.

I'll save you the trouble.

[g*nsh*t]

Well, I'll be hanged.

So they was there.

You should know.

You put 'em there, Mr. Craymore.

Oh.

So you know who I am, huh?

That's right.

How'd you guess it?

Well, let's just say

that I'm pretty good at
seeing through things.

Yeah.

Well, I've played
my little game.

Fact of the matter is that

I painted that palm
tree white myself.

But that doesn't change
the rules of the treasure hunt.

You solved the riddle,

so therefore, you're
entitled to the treasure.

Well, thank you very much, sir.

But, uh, these will bring a
lot more than I need right now.

So, if you don't mind, I...

I think I'll share
'em with the others.

So that's the reason
I set up the deal.

I wanted to find out
how you all would react.

Who was a coward. Who was brave.

Who was selfish. And
who was generous.

And who was a
dangerous criminal.

That's the one you
won't have to give a share

of those diamonds to.

He'll have no use
for 'em in prison.

Prison? For what?

For trying to hurt
Lois and Jimmy.

For draining our water supply.

And for hitting you on the head.

Who do you think it might be?

By the simple
process of elimination,

there are only
two suspects left.

Myself and Clark Kent.

Nice try, Jeff.

Of course, I know
I'm not the guilty party.

You'll have a sweet time
trying to prove that I am.

According to Jimmy, the
man who tried to k*ll him

should have
blisters on his palms.

Not a blister.

How 'bout you, Jeff?

Still able to hold a g*n.

Oh, I wouldn't do
that if I were you.

You're in enough
trouble as it is.

But those b*ll*ts
didn't even hurt ya!

He must be... Fortunately,
I took the liberty

of removing the slugs
from his cartridges.

He was only sh**ting blanks,

but it was enough
to convict him.

I might've known you
wouldn't walk into a loaded g*n.

But you know what's
really amazing?

We actually got
through this whole thing

without any help from Superman.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman!

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.