05x03 - The Town That Wasn't

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Adventures of Superman". Aired: September 19, 1952 – April 28, 1958.*
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Beloved series based on comic book characters and concepts that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created in 1938 where Superman battles crooks, gangsters, and other villains in the fictional city of Metropolis while masquerading "off duty" as Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent.
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05x03 - The Town That Wasn't

Post by bunniefuu »

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman.

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet,

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

[TRUCK SQUEAKING]

I can't understand it.

A valuable load of
dr*gs disappears,

and two days later,
there's not a trace

of the truck or the driver.

Looks to me like more than
a simple case of hijacking.

Well, the drug company
agrees with you.

They've got a warrant
out for the driver's arrest.

They believe that he drove
the truck to a prearranged spot

to meet with his accomplices.

However, Kent still believes
it was a hijacking job.

Where is Clark, incidentally?

He's been out all day
tracking down a lead.

[♪♪♪]

Well, if Kent doesn't
get back soon,

we'll have to go to
press without his story.

I have a hunch we
won't get any story

until someone tries
to sell those dr*gs.

[DOOR OPENS]

Well, it's about
time you got back.

Did you get anything?

Not a thing. And I
can't understand it.

I can understand where a plane

can be missing in a flight,

but not a truck on
an open highway.

Superman was out.

He couldn't find
anything suspicious.

Oh, on top of everything
else, we're short-handed.

Jimmy won't be back from
his vacation for another week.

Well, I consider that

the only break we've had so far.

[SIREN WAILING]

Well, what is it, pal?
A fire or a wedding?

This is a highway.

I was only doing
35 in a 45-mile zone.

Yeah, you were also doing 35

right through the
town of Akport.

What town? I
didn't see any town.

No, of course you didn't, at
the speed you were going.

Are you gonna give me a ticket?

And never hear from you again?

Nothing doing.

You turn your car
around and follow me.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

So this is Akport. No
wonder I didn't see it.

Don't talk like that
in front of the judge.

He's sensitive about our town.

You got a judge here?
Who elected him? You?

Just step inside.

Now, let's see, young man.

The arresting officer's
got you marked down here

going 40 miles an hour.

Sure, I was doing 40,

but that's below
the highway limit.

Well, the town of Akport's

clearly posted 25 mile an hour.

Your whole town is
only 100 yards long,

and by the time
anyone sees the sign,

they're out of town.

[DOOR OPENS]

Well, now, the size of Akport

has nothing to do with it.

Our citizens are still entitled

to the protection
of the traffic laws.

The fine is, uh...

$5 for a mile

for every mile
above the speed limit.

That'd be, uh...

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]

$75 or 75 days in jail.

Seventy-five dollars?

That's highway robbery.

Plus $5 for insulting the court.

But... Making a
grand total of $80.

Now, do I hear any
further outbursts?

[SIGHS]

Thank you. Next case.

COP: I have a James
Olsen here, Your Honor.

I clocked him at 35.

JUDGE: All right.

[DOOR CLOSES]

I'm no public accountant,

but I know my tables of five.

That's 50 bucks.

Even.

How we doing, Frank?

Now, that's 130 bucks just now.

That makes, uh...

$640 so far today.

Not bad. We're averaging

close to $1000 a
day in fines alone.

Yes. And that truck of chemicals

we grabbed, another 10,000 net.

Hey, we've been in this
spot almost a week now.

Don't you think it's
time we move the town?

Oh, in a day or so.

I think it's safe to
stay here for a while.

You know, this is the
sweetest setup we've ever had.

You don't even
have to use a g*n,

and the suckers pay
up almost willingly.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You know, if it keeps
up as good as this,

we'll be able to buy
a legitimate town

and do this whole thing legally.

Give me a break, inspector.

I can't keep writing
headlines that say,

"Police Expect Early Arrest."

Yes? I see.

Well, thanks anyway.

Nothing?

Nothing. They haven't
even got the smell of a clue.

The truck and the
driver just disappeared

from the face of the earth.

[DOOR OPENS]

PERRY: Well, what
are you doing here?

Your vacation still
has five days to go.

I ran out of money.

I thought you had
it all budgeted.

I did. But I run into an expense

that wasn't in my budget.

Oh. Anything
happen with the car?

It sure did.

It got caught going
35 miles an hour

in a 25-mile zone.

Ha. Serves you
right for speeding.

But I wasn't speeding.

In fact, I was doing 10
miles under the highway limit.

But I passed these four
little wooden buildings

that they called a town,
and they fined me 50 bucks

for speeding within
the town limits.

Well, I wouldn't feel too
badly about it, Jimmy.

Some few small
towns are speed traps,

but the majority
are just trying to

protect their citizens.

I wanna do a story about
that phony speed trap.

I took some pictures.

No, you don't. You
don't use this paper

to work off your
private grudges.

That's lesson number
one for a newspaperman,

and I'm surprised that you
hadn't learned it before this.

I want you to work on
this truck thing with Kent.

Chief? PERRY: Yes?

I, um... uh...

Oh, all right.

[SIGHS]

Here's an advance.

Thanks, chief.

Come on, junior.

Oh, Olsen.

Yes, sir?

You better let Kent drive.

[LAUGHS]

[JAZZ PLAYS ON
JUKEBOX] [DOOR CLOSES]

Hi.

Sit right down, fella.

What'll you have? A steak?

What else?

How do you like it?

Big and thick.

Think you can do
that for half a buck?

Coming right up. Coffee now?

At these prices, can I say no?

[ALARM BUZZES]

Sounds like you're
gonna have company.

I don't want
company. I want out.

When does my case come up?

Keep your shirt on, Mr. Harris.

The judge should be back
from his fishing trip real soon.

His trip isn't the only thing

around here that sounds fishy.

I could lose my job for this.

How about letting
me out on bail?

Sorry, Mr. Harris.

You don't seem to realize
the seriousness of your offense.

My only offense was

in driving through
your crummy town.

My brakes are perfectly
all right, and you know it.

Oh, I've gotta tell the
fellas about this place.

Uh, you'll be known as
the truck drivers' friend.

Always glad to have
you fellas stop by.

You know, I still can't
see how you do it.

Brother owns a butcher shop.

What are you hauling?

Oh, a mixed lot.

Mostly furs and TV tubes.

Furs and TV tubes, huh?

How about another cup of coffee?

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

[CHOPPY ALARM BUZZES]

Looks like I was right. You
are going to have company.

What do you mean?

Another trucker. I
wouldn't be a bit surprised

if his brakes
tested out bad too.

Sure does my heart good

to see a man enjoy
the food the way you do.

Mm.

Hey. Wha...?

W-w-what's that cop
doing by my truck?

Anything wrong, officer?

Having a lot of
accidents lately.

Mainly on account
of faulty brakes.

We have a strict
law about that here.

Oh, there's nothing
wrong with those.

I just had them
tested before I set out.

Sorry, fella. We'll have
to check them ourselves.

It looks like you have a
loose air hose under there.

Wha...?

Another truck has disappeared.

Loaded with valuable furs

and other disposable
merchandise.

And not one of you
has brought back

a single clue that we
could pin a story on.

Well, for that matter,
neither have the police.

Well, that's not my problem,

but the Planet is.

Now, get out and
bring me back a story

that'll have an angle
that will sell papers.

Right, chief. Come on.

You get going too.

You'll not find those
trucks around this office.

And I don't think we'll
find them nosing around

every character that's ever been

connected with a hijacking job.

You talk like a
girl with an angle.

I am.

I think this is an
entirely new crowd

operating in an
entirely new way.

I'd like to start driving
along the highway,

stopping in every diner and
gas station along the way,

until I can pinpoint the area

where the trucks were last seen.

Every diner and gas station.

That could take months.

I know it. But I may
get lucky right away.

Anyway, what
have we got to lose?

All right. Get going.

But...

phone me every
day so I can sort of

keep an eye on you, eh?

Thanks, chief. But
don't run anything on me.

It might alert whoever's
behind all this.

Hanlon said you
wanted to see me.

That's right. I
just got a report

on the armored-car shipment.

It's leaving tomorrow morning.

Was it coming
through this highway?

No, no. Now, look. It's
gonna come through here.

Now, we'll have to
move the town to this spot

between Springfield and Benford.

We'll set up the detour
here and the roadblock there.

Good. Well, we'll start moving

right after dark.

Right. [DOOR OPENS]

Trouble, boss.

Well, what's up? Nosy
dame over at Joe's Diner

asking a lot of questions
about the missing trucks.

Well, did you get a line on her?

No. But why should
she ask questions here?

Could be a reporter
or a policewoman.

We can't afford to
take any chances.

We've gotta grab
her. Now, get going.

Now, let me think, miss.

All I wanted to know is

if you've seen either of
the trucks or the drivers

I described to you.

It's rather hard to say.

I get a lot of truckers in here.

Account of the prices, you know.

I'll bet you do.
But think hard, Joe.

This is very important.

Well, now that I think of it...

this fella looks
a little familiar.

I think he was in here
sometime last week.

But it couldn't have
been last week.

He started out three days ago.

Can I help you, miss?

Oh. Well, I hope so, officer.

I was looking for a lead on

the disappearance
of those trucks.

Were you now? What's
your interest in this?

You with the police?

Well, no. I'm a reporter
with the Daily Planet.

How do I know you are?

Oh, I have my press card.

Now, just a minute.

I really am a reporter.

Why, you can call the
Metropolis Daily Planet.

Yes, we'll do that.

But in the meantime,
you look suspicious to me.

We'll have to detain you
until we check you out.

Purely routine.

Well, I suppose there's
nothing I can do about it.

But you're gonna
look awfully silly

when you find
I'm telling the truth.

We have a motto in
our department, miss.

"Better to be silly than sorry."

I wouldn't kid you, Perry.

We have absolutely no lead.

Not even a general
section of the country?

[CHUCKLES]

Now, what are you
so worried about?

This g*ng, if it is one,
will slip up sooner or later.

Well, it better be sooner.
I'm worried about Lois.

Lois? What has
she got to do with it?

Well, she went off to
investigate on her own.

She was supposed to
phone in here every day.

She didn't call
yesterday or today.

Hm. That sounds serious.

Have you tried
to find her at all?

H-has Kent?

No. I don't want Kent
knowing about this.

He'll be chasing off too.
That's why I called you.

Well, of course I'll
do everything I can.

Uh, what highway
was she traveling?

Highway 53. And
when she phoned me

she was in Dartsville.

Good day, gentlemen.

Who phoned you from Dartsville?

An old aunt of mine.

An old aunt, eh?

Then why didn't you
want me to hear about her?

Kent, you are an eavesdropper.

And what good reporter isn't?

Now, come on, chief, give.

What are you trying
to hold out on me?

All right. I'm
worried about Lois.

She went out trying to dig up

a lead on the missing trucks.

She was supposed to
phone in here every day.

And I haven't heard from her
since day before yesterday.

You mean, from Dartsville?

Yes.

She's probably somewhere

past there now on Highway 53.

Right. Kent.

Hm?

Are you gonna look
for Lois? Well, naturally.

Do you mind if I go along?

Oh, I have a police car outside,

but I'd rather not use it.

It might alarm whoever
it is we're looking for.

Well, my car's in the shop

getting some new tires.

Jimmy's been driving me.

I don't think he'd
mind driving you.

Fine. Okay.

PERRY: Oh, Kent. Yes, sir.

Uh, now that you know,
you might as well go along.

And if Henderson finds
anything, I want a story.

You can use one of
the company's cars.

CLARK: Come on, Bill.

Well, why stop here?

I'm trying to recognize
the countryside.

Well, we're four miles
outside of Dartsville.

And the gasoline attendant
positively identified Lois,

so we know we're on
the right track. Big deal.

Well, if she didn't
stop at the next town,

she's somewhere between
Dartsville and there.

Right. I'm wondering,
what are we doing

stopping in the
middle of nowhere?

This is where I
got it last time.

Got what? Akport.

There isn't any such town.

Tell that to the judge.

Well, that's exactly
what I hope to do.

Huh?

We have a police official
at this time, remember?

Oh, yeah. That's right.

I'd like to see that
joker try to stop me now.

Well, if that's the
case, let's get started.

Wait a minute. I think there's
something funny going on here.

I'd swear this is
where Akport was.

Well, so you made a mistake.

Now, come on, let's get

back in the car and get going.

I couldn't have made a mistake.

I took this highway,

and it was about four
miles outside of Dartsville.

But a town just doesn't
get up and move away.

Mr. Kent, Inspector
Henderson. Come over here.

What is it? This is
the rock I tripped over

when the officer pushed
me into the courtroom.

What officer? What courthouse?

Now, wait just a minute,
Bill. Are you sure, Jim?

Sure, I'm sure. Right here.

The courthouse was right here.

He could be right at that, Bill.

Lot of footprints around here.

Yeah...

[CLEARS THROAT]

And a few bent nails.

Funny place to
find nails, isn't it?

Mm-hm. Looks as though

somebody took
something apart here.

Something like a town?

Ridiculous. You don't
take a town apart.

I wouldn't be too
sure of that, Bill.

I know this is where
the town of Akport was.

Well, if that's the case,

we're dealing with
unusual crooks.

And they may have Lois.

Well, let's get going.

All right, but let me drive.

If any cops stop us, let
me do the talking. Come on.

[SIGHS]

Hey, come on.

You just can't
throw people in jail

and keep them indefinitely.

We're doing it, ain't we?

Boy, I never took a poke

at a cop in my life,

but in your case I'd like
to make an exception.

Big talk.

Yeah, you just take off
that g*n and open this door,

and we'll show you
what kind of big talk it is.

Oh, be nice, boys,
and shut up, will you?

You're interfering with
my literary pursuits.

And let me tell you something.

Interfering with
the working press

can get you some
pretty bad publicity.

Publicity we don't want.

But you're in no position
to give us any publicity.

Now, be a good kid.

And after a while
Joe will bring you over

one of those nice steaks of his.

Oh, thanks a lot.

[SIREN BLARING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Well, what is it, a
fire or a wedding?

What's the matter with you
small-town coppers, anyway?

We weren't bothering anybody.

We have very strict
speed laws around here.

You follow me.

Is that the man?

It's he. Even the
same opening line. Hm.

Step inside the courtroom.

I think the judge will be able
to hear your case immediately.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Come on in.

I have a speeder
here, Your Honor.

[WHISPERS] You idiot.

You were supposed to be

watching out for
the armored car.

[WHISPERS] But it's
not due until tonight.

We can't take a
chance on missing it.

I told you not to fool
with speeders today.

But these guys
were really speeding.

I guess I just got carried away.

Well, all right.

But let's get it
over with quick.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Which, uh...

Which one of you was driving?

I was, Your Honor.

JUDGE: How fast
was he going, officer?

COP: Sixty, Your Honor.

Mm-hm. Your name?

Clark Kent, sir.

Kent.

Well, young man, I'm gonna
make an example of you.

Hundred and fifty
dollars or 90 days.

Fair enough. Only I
haven't got that much cash.

Will you take a check?

Certainly not.

I didn't think you would.

So I guess I'll have
to take the 90 days.

Oh, now, uh... Uh,
maybe some of your friends

could, uh, help you out.

Oh, I wouldn't dream
of imposing on them, sir.

No, sir. Officer...

take me away.

Oh, n-n-now, uh, wait a minute.

Uh, maybe, uh...

Maybe we can make
some arrangements.

Uh, how much do you have?

Why, Your Honor,
aren't you ashamed?

Trying to corrupt justice.

No, sir. I'm prepared
to pay the penalty.

I'll take my 90 days in jail.

Now, hold on, Your Honor.

This has gone far enough, sir.

I-I'm a police officer,
and we're here on a case.

Police officer? Yes, sir.

May I see your credentials?

Certainly, sir.

Oh. Seems to be in order.

However, I reckon you
all better remain here

till we make a check.

Impersonating an officer

is a very serious offense.

Now, look here, sir...

Now, just hold
real still, all of you.

Come on up here, little one.

Cop, g*n on the desk.

You again?

It's getting to seem like
we're old friends, isn't it?

Uh, what does he mean?

One of the speeders

we picked up last week.

Why, you stupid fool.

I told you not to
bring in repeaters.

But he wasn't driving.

I didn't even see him.

Oh, you're doing fine. Picking
up repeaters and policemen.

Now... we gotta
get rid of all of them.

Just what kind of a
crazy town is this?

Now, there's something
funny going on here, all right.

I think all the sane people
in this town are in jail.

And all the loonies
are running around free.

Yeah. Last night
they blindfolded us

and then took us for
an automobile ride.

And then just returned
us to the same cells.

So, what do you
suppose that was for?

I don't know, but
I have a hunch.

I think this is the same cell,

but I bet it's not
in the same place.

TRUCKER: What do you mean?

Well, I think this whole town is
completely phony and portable.

They just move it from
one place to another.

That's good guessing, miss.

Too bad you won't get a chance

to tell anyone about it.

Don't be too sure.

I'll be missed.
And I'll be found.

Clark, am I glad to see you.

Jimmy. Inspector.
Get me out of here.

Are these the gentlemen

that were going to
rescue you, miss?

Step right in, boys.

JUDGE: Now, you
and Hanlon get on out

to the highway near the detour

and wait for the armored car.

Take Joe along with you.

I'll wait in the courthouse.

And when you come
back with the car,

we'll get rid of our
guests and move on.

[SIGHS]

Now you've done
it. [DOOR CLOSES]

It almost looks like you planned

to get us into this mess.

Well, at least we
know where Lois is.

Hm. Lot of good that'll do us.

Now, stop worrying, Bill.

I'll think of something.

Well, look here, inspector.

I guess the door
wasn't closed properly

when they turned the key.

Hey, look out!

Of all the stupid tricks.

Oh, I am sorry, Bill.
I'll go get some help.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You know, Jimmy...

I'm beginning to
worry about Kent.

[♪♪♪]

[BRAKES SCREECH, BANG]

What are you stopping for?

Run him down.

I can't budge him.

Course you can't,
stupid. He's Superman.

Well, back up and go around him.

You were doing
over 65 miles an hour.

Don't you know we have
speed laws around here?

We're the police.

Well, in that case,
we'll tell it to the judge.

And I hope you
enjoy your new home.

[TURNS KEY IN LOCK]

You, uh, think they'll
be safe in there?

Well, I'm not so sure.

They've had a lot of practice

taking that jail apart
and carrying it around.

Please, inspector.
Put away your g*n...

and just let them come out.

Just for a minute.

Boy, this is something
I'd like to see.

Well, inspector, I'll send
some of your boys to get you.

Ah, just a minute,
Superman. Yes, Miss Lane?

Whatever became of Clark Kent?

Well, he must have
gotten a lift back to town.

You know how he is when
there's a story to be written.

Excuse me. Mm.

Come on, Jim. Let's try to
b*at him back to Metropolis.

Who, Superman?

Of course not, silly. Mr. Kent.

Nothing doing. We're
gonna take it nice and easy.

Don't you know that some of
these towns are speed traps?

[CHUCKLES] Come on, Jim.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman.

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.
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