05x08 - Close Shave

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman.

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

I don't know. Everybody's
in such a hurry these days.

Pretty soon I won't
need a haircut.

My boss is gonna scalp me.

Don't worry, you'll be next.

Thank you, sir. Come again.

Ugh.

Next time you take a
walk, use your own feet.

Give me a shave. Make it snappy.

Yes, sir. Sit right down.

[SIGHS]

Oh. Over here, please.

You new around here?

Well, sure. I just bought
the shop this week. Mm-hm.

See all the flowers?

Here, have one.

Just trim the brush.
Skip the posies.

Excuse me, but...
I think I was next.

And who do you think you are?

I'm Jim Olsen from
the Daily Planet.

Oh, reporter, huh?

Well, the name is Rick Sable.

S-A-B-L-E.

You remember that if
you wanna stay healthy.

You mean, Rick
Sable, the gangster?

There's only one: me.

Well, uh, heh, pardon
me, but there is another.

I say there's only one.

You wanna make something of it?

Rick Sable was my
best friend in school.

When we were
kids, he used to say:

"Tony... someday I'm
gonna make a $1 million,

and I'm gonna
give you half of it."

It usually worked too.

What do you mean, it worked?

Well, Rick was
always a generous kid,

so I used to give him
another stick of bubble-gum.

Tony. The skinny kid with
the freckles. Uh, Tony Gambini.

Tony Gambini. That's me.

Well, yeah, add a
pound here and there.

You wouldn't be Rick
Sable, my old friend?

I told you there was only one.

Well, that's
wonderful, wonderful.

After all these years.

Yeah, it's been a stretch.

Snap it up. I gotta
get outta here by noon.

Well, right after the
next customer, huh?

I said now.

Tony, I'll wait till you
finish with Mr. Sable.

I thought you were in a hurry?

No, I got lots of time.

Okay.

Wow, Rick, it's a small world.

How goes it by, Rick?

I'm not complaining.

What are you doing now?

Ah, just taking it easy.

Where you working?

Hm. Rick Sable
don't work for nobody.

You mean you're out of
work? Well, that's wonderful.

I need a partner.

Why don't you come
in business with me.

Me work in a clipper
joint? No thanks.

I'm after the big dough.

Still talking about the
big money. Mm-hm.

I'm serious. I'd like
to have you with me.

Now, what's so
funny about 50 grand?

Nothing, Rick. Nothing.

All you gotta do is
rob the National Bank

or the Acme jewelry
store, or, uh...

Keep it mum. You want
the kid to get ideas?

I, uh... I think I'll
get a bite to eat

while I'm waiting, Tony.

Is there a restaurant handy?

Yeah, right around the corner.

You mean the gangster?

Yeah, Rick Sable.

I think he's gonna hold up
the Acme Jewelry Company.

Can you get word to Superman?

Well, perhaps I can, Jimmy.

But how did you
find out about this?

Well... Overheard
it in the barbershop.

So the smartest crook in town

outlines a robbery
in front of a witness.

I'm sorry, Jimmy,
I can't buy it.

Jeepers, Mr. Kent,
it sounded genuine.

There might be
something to it at that.

You stay there and
keep an eye on things.

If anything develops, call me.

Uh, Jimmy, be careful.

Sure, Mr. Kent. I'll watch out.

And that's how I'm sure.

If you know there's a robbery,

you'd get up out of
that chair just like that

and go over by the
phone, call the police,

tell them what it's all about.

Hello, operator,
give me the police.

Hello, police?

There will be a robbery
today at 12 noon at the...

What's that?

Well, give me the
Robbery Division then.

Come on, Rick, you're
carrying this joke too far.

It's all a mistake. I'm sorry.

I haven't told 'em yet.

Look, the police are busy.

It's not fair to send 'em
on wild-goose chases.

Oh. Say... what was
I gonna tell them?

Are you feeling all right, Rick?

Yeah, of course, of course.

Same old Rick.

You're making me laugh

just like we did
when we were kids.

[LAUGHS]

I make you laugh?

[CHUCKLING] Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah, very funny.

Even fooled the kid, didn't we?

Oh, I was wise to you all along.

Well, I can't wait any longer.

I'll get a trim later.

But I'm almost done.

Hi, Jimmy.

Well, did you find anything out?

No, nothing.

They were just pulling
my leg, that's all.

This the man?

Yeah, that's him.

What a production.

He even started
to call the police.

The police? What for?

To tell them the robbery
would be at noon today.

And if Tony hadn't
called off the joke,

Rick would've gone
through with the call too.

Hm. Well, many a truth
spoken in jest, I guess.

Ah, forget it. I just
goofed, that's all.

Anyway, Miss Lane
will give us a full report.

Lois? Yeah.

She went to the Acme Jewelry
Company to pick up her watch.

She should be there by now.

Well, it's two
minutes to 12. Uh...

Jimmy, would you mind taking
these down to the desk for me?

Sure.

What's the matter? Lunch date?

No, not exactly.

I, uh, just remembered
something important.

[♪♪♪]

All right, boys. Superman.

Drop those g*ns.

I give up.

Superman, what's going on here?

Look out, Miss Lane.

Friend of yours, hey, Superman?

Well, take it easy,
and she won't get hurt.

Okay, Harry, pick up
the bag and let's go.

I get it. We take
the girl along, huh?

Yeah. Sort of like insurance.

If you're smart, you
won't try to stop us.

You aren't going anywhere.

Oh, the g*n. It's
too hot to handle.

SUPERMAN: Well,
that's how it is with g*ns.

He must've done it
with his x-ray vision.

Yes, he must have.

And I don't like having
g*ns pointed at me.

[GRUNTS]

Nice going, Miss Lane.

Well, that should hold
'em till the police arrive.

Oh, would you mind untying

that gentleman you'll
find under the counter?

The least I can do,

especially if I
wanna get my watch.

Excuse me.

Mr. Kent, did you hear the news?

No. What happened? [PANTING]

Well, Miss Lane just
got back from lunch.

Oh, that's nice.

I hope she enjoyed her meal.

Well, she didn't say.
But do you know what?

Superman prevented
the Acme jewel robbery.

He did? My, he gets
around, doesn't he?

What a story, and
I didn't cover it,

'cause I thought it was a hoax.

And I don't blame you.

It doesn't add up for
Sable to tip off a robbery.

Unless, of course, he was
planning a double cross.

Suppose Tony had
anything to do with it?

Oh, talk sense, will you, Jimmy?

Well, it was just an idea.

It wouldn't do any harm
for me to talk to Tony?

No, I don't suppose
it'd do any harm.

Thank you, sir.

Well, so you came back.

Well, sit right down, huh?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh. You can take
your time, Tony.

I thought you were in a hurry.

Not now.

But you could do me a favor.

Yeah?

Tell me...

what were you and
Rick talking about

before the robbery?

Well, there was no robbery.
We were just kidding.

Well, don't laugh too loud.

The Acme Jewelry
Company was held up today.

If you're not laughing,
I'm not laughing. Is it true?

It happened just like
Rick said it would.

What did you talk about?

Well... I thought Rick
was honest. I told him so.

Is that all? Oh, look,

Rick was always a good kid.

I can't believe he's a thief.

How much did they get?

Nothing. Superman
arrived in time.

Superman?

But he couldn't have.

Well, he did.

Well, then tell me
what Rick is doing

right outside the store?

Rick didn't take
part in the robbery.

He just planned it.

Look, I'm not gonna
say you're wrong,

but I'm gonna ask
Rick when he comes in.

He can't find me here.

Well, why not?

Well, I'm the one who
tipped off Superman.

Well, hide in here, huh?

Pull these blinds.

Anyone in there?

Who do you think I'm
hiding? Superman?

Somebody ratted
on the day's job.

Now, it was either
you or that reporter.

Why pick on me?

If the police
found out anything,

it's because you called them.

What did you say?
I called the police?

Sure. If I hadn't stopped you,
you'd have told them everything.

That's a lie!

I swear it's true.

On the level?

On the level. Oh.

Ooh.

How could I do such a thing?

[SIGHS]

It wasn't just a bad dream.

I ratted on my own men.

You need a rest, Rick.

A rest, huh?

If this happens again,

I'll get a nice long
one behind bars.

Well, it's not gonna
happen again!

And if you say one
word of this to anyone...

Has he gone? Yep.

So even Rick doesn't know
why he tried to tell the police.

Well, why don't you forget
about that. It's much safer.

Tell me, uh, how do
you like being a reporter?

Uh, It's not bad.
Except for the people.

Tell me about Rick.

Don't you like people?

Yeah, they're swell.

Especially Mr. Kent
and Miss Lane.

But that boss of
mine, Mr. White...

Are you afraid of him?

No. And someday I'm gonna
tell him what I really think too.

Such as?

Ah, you wouldn't be interested.

Try me.

I'd rather talk
about Rick Sable.

All right, I'll tell
you what we'll do:

We'll talk about Rick.

First, you tell me
about Mr. White.

Well, take last
week for example.

Mr. White took the
spill in the bathtub

and raised a lump the
size of an egg on his head.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

I was sorry too.

So the next day he
assigned me to do an article:

"Hazards in the Home."

Oh, that's fine.

Yeah, except I'd been
plugging for months for it.

If the chief had listened to me,

he wouldn't have had to get
a bump to get a good idea.

And then there was this mad dog.

I'd been telling him...

Hold it, hold it.

You know, you got
lots of good ideas.

Why don't you tell
Mr. White about them?

Believe in yourself.

What if he doesn't
like my ideas?

Well, then tell him you'll quit
and go where you're wanted.

Tony, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

If he doesn't like
my ideas, I will quit.

Hey. What's getting into me?

I feel like I could do it.

Of course.

I'm not afraid anymore.

You must have done the
same thing to Rick Sable.

You told him to report
to the police, and he did.

Well, now... Now don't
blame me for what Rick does.

Tony, when you
believe in someone...

they can do the things
they were really meant to do.

I've got nothing to do with it.

It's what people got
inside them. Good or bad.

You can change a
person's entire outlook.

Why, this could be the greatest
thing since movable type.

Now, what are you talking about?

I'll tell you later.

I wanna see you a minute, chief.

Where have you been?

Out on a big story, I suppose?

What's going on around here?

Oh, Miss Lane's
trying to warn me

you knew I was getting a
haircut on company time.

So you admit it, eh?
Why weren't you working?

I was working. On what could
be the news b*at of the year.

All right, what have
you thought up this time?

Flying teacups to go
with flying saucers?

Well, when Superman
stopped Rick Sable's g*ng

from holding up the Acme
Jewelry Company today,

it was all because of a
barber by the name of Tony.

The same barber that
hasn't given you a haircut yet?

He's the one.

You see, this Tony
is a very unusual man.

What he believes
in tends to happen.

And because he believed
Rick Sable was honest...

Rick had to tell all about
that jewelry robbery.

You think because this barber
believed Rick was honest,

Rick had to behave honestly?

That's it in a nutshell.

It's nutty all right.

Wait a minute,
chief, I'm not kidding.

You see, with Tony's help,

I'm planning to
get Rick to outline

his whole plan of operation.

That way we can
clean this town overnight

and keep an
exclusive on the story.

To say nothing of reforming
a notorious criminal.

He may have something there.

Even flying teacups
would make more sense.

Now, get going to that
Garden Club meeting

you were supposed
to cover today.

You mean, you won't
let me try my idea?

No.

Then I resign.

You what? I resign.

Look here, Olsen,
this idea isn't worth

giving up a job for, is it?

Yes.

Tony talked me into doing
what I should've done long ago,

just the same as
he did with Rick.

I'm glad somebody talked you

into doing what you should.

Now, get going.

Golly, thanks, chief.

I sure appreciate this.

Get out to that
Garden Club meeting.

They're waiting for you.

You mean you're not gonna let
me cover the Rick Sable story?

All right, all right. Do
whatever you wish.

Doesn't matter what I want.

I'm... I'm just the
boss around here.

Gosh, thanks, boss.

And if nobody minds very much,

I think I'll go to lunch.

Would you like your hat?

This Sable guy
sure likes privacy.

He lives so far out, they
don't even have streetlights.

This is the right
road, isn't it?

You saw the signposts.

All we have to
do now is find 789.

Suppose he's out?

We'll wait till he gets back.

I don't know why I let
you talk me into this.

Easy, now. This may be it.

Hi. In case you're
wondering, Tony,

I'm Jimmy's coworker.

Miss Lane, what
are you doing here?

You wouldn't want me to
miss the fun, would you?

But you can't come with
us. This may be dangerous.

We'll just have
to take her back.

I'll turn around in
the driveway here.

Well, if you're afraid, I'm not.

This is private property,

and the boss
don't like strangers.

Look, I'm Tony Gambini,
Rick Sable's oldest friend.

Now, take us to him at once.

Sorry, but the boss
won't be back till morning.

We'll come back
in the morning then.

Nothing doing.
You'll stay right here.

See that driveway?

Just keep right on it till
you come to the house.

And no tricks.

Well, good morning,
chief. You're in early today.

Lots of good it does me.

Will you kindly
ask the electrician

to fix this thing?

Why? What's the matter with it?

No one answers.

Clark? Kent?

See? Not even your own switch.

Could that be possibly
because I am here

instead of in my own office?

Huh. Yeah, well, all right.
But where's young Olsen?

Don't you remember, chief?

You sent him out on
that, uh, Rick Sable story.

That's right. Where's Lois?

Probably went with him.

Not on my orders.

She must be around somewhere.

Find her and tell
her I wanna see her.

Yes, sir, right away.

And, Clark, if young
Olsen doesn't call up soon,

let me know, will you?

Very good, sir.

What's wrong with this coffee?

This is my sixth cup already.

Better get some sleep,
Mickey. I'll keep watch.

No thanks. I'll wait for Rick.

If you can stay awake
that long. Huh, Tony?

With all that coffee?

Oh, they... They
look sleepy to me.

Tony, d-don't they
look sleepy to you?

Cut the conversation, you two.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to wake you.

Very funny.

I've gone without sleep
for 36 hours at a time.

Ah, this is nothing.

You know, sleep
is a wonderful thing.

First your eyelids get heavy...

then your chin starts to drop.

And before you know
it, you're sound asleep.

[MEN SNORING]

Hey, good work, Tony.

I sure hope I have you
around if I ever have insomnia.

So we meet again, huh, Tony?

What'd you put in their drinks?

Nothing.

Don't give me that.

People don't sleep like that

without a pill pusher somewhere.

Tony talked them asleep.

Same way he talked you into

spilling the beans about
the robbery yesterday.

Nobody talks Rick Sable
into anything he doesn't want.

But that's the point.
You want to be honest.

That's why Tony
could do what he did.

Tony's got nothing
to do with it.

I'm the one that decides
things around here.

Yeah, you decide things.

If you'd listen to Tony,
you'd go straight for good.

Nothing doing.

[SNAPS]

You're gonna fix things my way.

Tony's gonna make me
a better crook than ever.

I can't do anything, Rick.

I just know the kind
of person you are.

Well, then you'd better find
out what I'm really like, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

Now...

repeat after me:

Rick is the best
crook in the business.

I can't say it about you.

Come on, speak
up. It's the truth.

Okay. So you won't talk.

Then don't talk.
What's the difference?

Look, stop looking at
me in that tone of voice.

Me go straight?

Tell the police everything?

And who'd give me a
job when I got out of jail?

I got a right to the big payoff.

Not just the nickels and dimes.

Okay. Okay.

So, what am I
gonna do with a guy

I played marbles and stickball
with when we were kids?

And ate spaghetti

in your mother's
kitchen, remember?

Here it is:

my books, accounts,
contacts, the whole works.

Take it, turn me in.

What's all the noise?

When did you get here, Rick?

While you were napping.

You can untie them now.

Okay, boss.

What you gonna do with 'em?

They nearly got
away with all your stuff.

No, they didn't break in.

I gave it to 'em.

I'm going straight.

What do you mean?

From now on...

I'm on the level.

What about the organization?

I'm disbanding it.

Uh, you can get
out now, if you want.

Boss, you can't do this to us.

How can we make a
dishonest living without you?

If you're smart
you'll go straight.

Now, untie my
friends. I got work to do.

Don't touch 'em, Trigger.

But the boss said to.

I'm giving the orders now.

You don't expect Trigger
to follow a coward?

Who's a coward?

You are. You've always
been yellow. And I know it.

I can prove I'm no coward.

Well, go ahead.

We're waiting.

That b*mb you got in the cellar

so you can blow things up
in case it gets too hot here...

What b*mb?

Thought I didn't
know about it, huh?

Found it months ago.

It's got a fuse you
can set to go off

in one minute or 30 minutes,
or any time in between.

So you found it. That
makes you a big man?

I'll bet my life against yours

I'll stay in this room
longer than you do

with that thing set
to go off anytime.

That's the silliest
idea I ever heard.

Who's the coward now?

You wanna give eternity
a hotfoot, go ahead,

but count me out.

Trigger, get the b*mb.

I don't know who's boss.

This g*n makes me boss.

Get it quick.

Gladys, this is Clark Kent.

Tell me, did either
Lois or Jimmy make

any long-distance
telephone calls yesterday?

You're sure?

Well, thanks anyway.

Phew.

[PHONE RINGS]

Kent speaking. Oh, yes, Gladys.

Well, I'm certainly glad
that you found that out.

Very lucky, yes.

Now, will you find out
what address is listed

for Rancho 3-5100?

Now, all you gotta
do is hit the button.

Then somewhere between

one minute and
30 minutes, "Boom."

Suppose it's one minute?

That might not give
me time to get out.

Hit the button.

It's set. I'm leaving.

Now, neither you nor I know
when in the next 30 minutes

that b*mb will explode.

Fair enough?

Which proves what?

Whoever goes out
that door last is boss.

What about my friends?

As long as I'm boss,
they'll stay here.

If you're boss, it's up to you.

That doesn't give
me much choice, huh?

You're free to leave.

That's choice enough.

You mind if I talk
to my friends?

Go ahead.

Thanks.

Hey, Tony...

he will chicken
out, won't he, huh?

Why, of course.

Look at that, his hands.

They're shaking.

Huh. Steady as a rock.

Mickey's afraid.

He's gonna run.

Quit the talk.

I can't stand this any longer.

I told ya he was yellow.

You should have seen him go.

He went by me so fast,
he didn't even see me.

[BEEPS] That's
the 15-second fuse.

We'll never make it!

Never did I think I'd be
glad to see Superman.

Just a minute, Rick. Oh.

Sorry. I know I'm not fit
to shake hands with you.

No, it's not that.

It's just that my
hands are white hot

from the expl*si*n. Oh.

Now, I'll be very glad
to shake your hand.

I'm very proud.

Now, take me into custody.

No, this is Jimmy's show.

I'm gonna turn
everything over to him.

But Rick tried
to save our lives.

Do I have to turn
him over to the police?

No, kid,

I've gotta take my rap.

Boss, you're all right.

Gee, the b*mb was
kind of a dud, huh?

I had nothing to do with it.

Superman saved us all.

You did though.

At least you came
and tried to help us.

What nerve.

Rick, if you go
straight, I do too.

That goes for me, likewise.

This means jail. You know that?

If you can take it, we can too.

Well, look, when you get out,

you can come into
business with me.

Wow, I'll make
a terrible barber.

You can handle giving
the kids crew cuts.

That way no one will
know the difference.

Sure. And I'll take care of
the shoe-shining department.

You'll take care
of the shoeshine?

That's my department.

Hey, wait a minute.
Who's boss around here?

In the barbershop business?

Tony's boss.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman.

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.