02x01 - Would You Wrather Catch an Evil Bunny?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Coop and Cami Ask the World". Aired: October 12, 2018 – September 11, 2020.*
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Series follows two middle school-age siblings whose main source of decision making is crowdsourcing opinions from their millions of online followers.
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02x01 - Would You Wrather Catch an Evil Bunny?

Post by bunniefuu »

This rocket
looks awesome!


I know.
I hope it works.


Cami, would our pizza guy
have sold it to us


out of the back of
his van if it didn't?


Either way,
this is still gonna be


the best week of my life,
'cause Minty's gone!


[blows noisemaker]


I've noticed you're
tending to wedge that


into a lot of
conversations.


Wedge what in?


The fact that Minty's gone?!


[blows noisemaker]


-Thanks, Pam!
-[noisemaker honk]


Best assistant ever.


I heard Minty was sent to
m*llitary school in Nevada.


Yeah, and I do
kinda feel bad...


for Nevada!


Kids, you want your
burgers well done?


[overlapping chatter]


-[hissing]
-Lemme rephrase that.


You're all gettin'
your burgers well done!


Hey, where should
I put the potato salad?


You okay, little man?


I'm just waiting for
my eyes and brain


to get on the same page.


This is my lucky outfit.


I'm about to watch
some college football,


and as long as I'm wearing this,
my Texas Bull Riders can't lose!


Yee-haw!


I feel like I should've
figured this out by now.


Oh, thank you, Caleb!


How sweet! A dwarf cactus.


It's actually not real.


I make fake dwarf cacti
in my garage


every weekend with my grandma.
Not to brag.


[chuckles]


How has he never had
a girlfriend before me?


[sigh] It is a mystery.


Hey! Sorry we're late,


but someone took forever
primping in the mirror.


Yeah, you.


And you are welcome!


I'll go grab my
beekeeper mask!


What are you
talking about?


For the Would You Wrather
I came up with.


Play tag with bees or
wear a hat full of cheese.


Fred, we thought
you were kidding.


Excuse us.


I talked this up to
Neve all morning about


I came up with the
Would You Wrather idea.


Well, sorry,


but, I mean, how would you
even play tag with bees?


Well, we'll never
know now, will we?


-[phone ringing]
-[sighs]


Ignore. It's just Carol Falky
from my office


calling to brag about
another house she sold.


I'm telling you,
it's because she crushes it


on social media!


I've seen her videos.
They are so...


not funny at all.


Mom, you gotta get online.


Social networking will
totally up your sales.


I don't know. It seems
like such a waste of time.


Mom, you're doing it.
In fact,


I'm gonna make an account
for you myself.


Okay, I'll try it.


All right, Jenna!


Yee-haw!


This is blowing my mind!


-All right, let's do this!
-[beep]


Hey, Wratherheads!
Today, we ask


would you rather be
a human bottle rocket...


or a human sparkler?


Fred's idea
was way better.


-[beep]
-And you guys chose bottle rocket!


My whole life has
been leading to this!


Actually, Ollie,
this one's too dangerous.


Yeah, we're bringing
in Ollie ..


What? No!


I hate Ollie .!


But, he is smooth
with the ladies,


I'll give him that.


Okay, everyone! Stand back.


It's time to take Would You Wrather
to outer space.


[rocket whirring]


[sputters, stops]


[Cami]
Well, that didn't go very well.


-[blast]
-[all screaming]


[clattering]


Oh man, my favorite sweater!


My cactus art!


No!


I need a pump!


Somebody get me a pump!


Okay!


Let's call that one
a rehearsal, shall we?


[theme song playing]


Would you rather
lose your phone


Or give up pizza
for a month?


Share your diary
with the world


Or have to it
for your lunch?


Sing out of tune
to your friends


Or trip and fall
into your crush?


Shave your head,
paint it red


Or use your
dog's toothbrush?


We need a little Q&A


Come on, Wratherheads,
play along!


Would your rather do this?


Would rather do this,
or would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world,
would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you
rather just dance?


Or would
you rather just dance ?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?





The house
I own is a cute


three-bedroom
in a great location.


Contact me if you
want to buy it!


Goodbye, internet people!


Look at you! Posting like a pro.


-Really?
-No, that was awful.


Look, if you want your
videos to stand out,


you gotta be way more creative.


Ooh! Maybe
I could do a video


about me talking
about a house


while I cook dinner!


That could be
kinda kooky.


Spoiler alert, it's stew!


Here, Charlotte,
for the broken baby cactus.


Three bucks?


Yeah, that sounds about right.


That's it.
We paid Mom back for her food,


Principal Walker
for his costume,


and Peyton for her sweater.


Do you realize we've been
so busy doing extra chores


we haven't been able to film
a Would You Wrather all week?


I know!
I'm starting to get the itch.


Hey! You guys need to
see this new web show!


-It's awesome!
-What is it?


The host gives out
two really hard,


but funny, choices,


and viewers have to vote
on which one they do.


What?


Then, and stay with me...


once the vote is in,


the host does the choice!


How cool is that?


Ollie, that's our show.


Coop, our show is
Would You Wrather.


This one's called
Which Would You Prefer?


[distorted]
Stay tuned, Bunnyheads.


Our next show
will have the best stunt you've ever seen,


and make Would You Wrather
look like the amateurs they are.


Amateurs?


This weirdo in
a costume rips us off


and then insults us?!


It's no biggie.


A little competition
can be a good thing.


No reason to panic.


[screaming]


Did you see it?
What do we do? What do we do?


Fred, relax.
We're not scared


of some person
in a bunny suit.


What bunny suit?
I was talking about


the video of what your
mom's making for dinner.


Spoiler alert, it's her stew!





[video game sounds]


-Take that, zombie.
-[sounds glitch]


What's wrong with my game?


What's up with the Wi-Fi?
I was video chatting Caleb,


and then my screen froze.


No, I'm still here.


I just haven't felt the need
to change expressions.


-Anyway--
-[glitch]


C-Caleb? Caleb!


Okay, now it froze.


What's slowing
everything down?


Anyway, with me,
you get a realtor


who isn't afraid to
take on any challenge.


Even if it's layers of
hairspray! [clicks tongue]


TTYL, leave a comment.
No trolls!


I love the internet!
I could do this all night!


What have you done?


Look, yes, it's a little annoying
Mom's hogging the Wi-Fi,


but she's trying
to drum up business.


[notification ding]


By the way,
I just sent you


a request so we can
follow each other.


-Fun!
-Oh!


Don't do it!


Relax!


It'll be fine.


[notification ding]


[Jenna]
Just sending you a few LOL memes.


You're welcome!


[continuous dinging]


Rookie mistake.





[Cami]
Let's go, people!


Chop chop!
We've only got the rink


rented for an hour!


Really second-guessing
getting you


that bullhorn for Christmas.


Coop,


this is the Would You Wrather
we're gonna use


to prove to the world
that we're number one.


We need to be on point.


Plus, some of our biggest fans


are down here to
watch in person.


-[crowd chatter]
-I wonder which one's Psycho Ted?


Well, our fans are
gonna love this.


I've been saving "Would you
rather be swatted like a fly


or sprayed like a mosquito"
for a special occasion.


So, the dummy gets
to ride a rocket,


but it's okay to
dress me up as a bug


and flatten me like a pancake?


-Pretty much.
-Yep.


[click]


-[smash]
-[gasping]


[murmuring]


You guys are the best!


[phones ringing]


Wait, what's going on?


Why are they leaving?


Uh, guys,
you need to see this.


This was posted minutes ago.


[distorted]
You saw it here first, Bunnyheads.


Giant flyswatter
beats mosquito spray on this edition


of Which Would You Prefer?


And remember,


we did it here
first and best.


The Wrathers
are just plain sad.


Watch. I bet they even
try and steal my idea.


So pathetic.


Wait, that's not true!


The bunny stole
the idea from us!


Yeah, don't leave, Wratherheads!
We're the victims here!


Psycho Ted? Not you, too!


[Bunny, on computer]
And that is a human bird feeder.


Thanks for watching,
Bunnyheads!


Another one of our exact
Would You Wrather ideas


stolen before we can do it!


That's three this week.


It's like they're taking them
straight out of our idea book.


Who is this bunny
and how are they doing it?


-[bump]
-Ow!


Learn how to pace.


Which Would You Prefer
keeps getting more viewers


while we can't even do our show.


Their fans are even
starting to wear bunny ears.


Hey, g*ng. Sorry I'm late.


Of course he is.


What? I found these
in the Lost & Found.


It's a brisk autumn,
and they keep my lobes toasty.


What do you think they're made of?
Cashmere?


Ooh! Lemme check.


That was aggressive.


Guys, if we don't
stop this bunny,


we could lose the show.


That can't happen!


The challenge of pulling
Would You Wrather ideas together


is what gets me
up in the morning.


And the Wratherheads have
always been there for us.


Can't imagine not
having 'em around.


I know! This show's kept me
in peak physical condition.


And as the human eye candy
of Would You Wrather,


I made an unspoken vow to
the viewer to keep it tight!


Wait a second.


It's so obvious!


Minty's the bunny!


But, what about
m*llitary school?


It must've been a lie!


Okay, look at the color
on this headband!


Mint... green.


She's been toying
with me the whole time!


I'm calling her.


Hey, when you get her on,


ask if the earmuffs
are cashmere.


Afternoon hi-zies!


Hey, Mrs. Mattheson.


Cooper Scooper, Cami Cakes,


and I wanna say...


Toby?


It's Fred!


I need to talk to Minty.


[gasp] Yikels!


You didn't hear?
She's off at m*llitary school.


No phones allowed.


So, it's true?


I don't know
if you could tell.


Sometimes, she
could be a handful.


Huh! Never noticed.


Anyway, um, when you see her,
please tell her I say...


[raspberry]


She'll know what it means.


Okay, bye-zies!


[sign-off sound]


If Minty isn't
the bunny, then who is?


It's gotta be
someone close to us


'cause they know exactly what
we're gonna do before we do it.


So, until further notice,
everyone's a suspect.


-[bumping]
[all] Ow!


Everyone pace clockwise!





Us doing Would You Wrather
has to be


tough on you
sometimes, correct?


Not really. I rather enjoy it.


Clever wordplay aside,


in the past,
we've ruined barbecues,


scraped paint off
the house, dented your--


-[typing]
-What are you doing?


Hey, Jenna Bugs!
Look at my daughter,


the big detective.


Cami, do a lit dance move
for your Aunt Patty.


Mom!


She's shy.


Well, well, well.
Cooper's gal pal Peyton.


You certainly have quite
the rep for being a bad apple.


I don't think I do.


Oh, really? Wasn't it you


who stole Cooper's jacket
and fled to Canada?


No. He gave me the jacket.


Which reminds me,


where's my mom's faux
fur coat that you stole?


I can tell you
where it's not.


On my bedpost being
used as a blankie.


I'll walk you out.


So, Pam, where exactly
where you when the bunny--


-[typing]
-Where exactly were you...


What are you typing?


Cami wants all
testimony taken down,


which means I have to
type what everyone says.


-Well, stop it.
-Stop it.


-Stop it. Stop it!
-Stop it. Stop it.


[thump]


Thump.


[fart sounds]


No further comment at this time.


How do you spell...
[fart sound]?


And isn't it true
you were angry


after learning that
I thought the balloon giraffe


you gave me was
a joke gift?


A joke gift?


I spent hours on that balloon.


You said you loved Joffrey!


Oh! Well, well, I-I--


[voice breaking]
I think I need some water!


Wait! Wait, you
didn't let me finish!


I love that giraffe!
Please don't cry!


-[thump]
-So,


it's getting pretty hot
under these lights, huh?


Actually, I'm able to maintain


a surprisingly stable
body temperature.


It's a trait that
runs in the family.


That... and toes.


-[snickers]
-Okay, we have to see that, right?


Oh, absolutely!


Admit it!


Admit you're the bunny
and we'll go easy on you.


You wanna rethink your tone?


Rethink the tone,
rethink the tone!


-You've always hated our show!
-Yes, with a passion.


-Don't deny it.
-You two are not very good listeners.


-So, you admit it!
-Not what I said at all!


I can't even look
at you right now.


You're staring directly at me.


Or am I?


What is happening?





Ollie...


Mom can't stop
posting on my page,


and it has nothing to do
with her business anymore!


If only someone had warned you.


She's commenting on
all my friends' pics!


Yeah, this is sort
of my alone time...


Wait, listen to this.


"Deb, it's Charlotte's mom.
Loving the bangs, girl. YOLO."


YOLO? Does she hate me?


Hey, Ollie, YOLO is
still a thing, right?


Being on social media
is amazing!


I am loving how I can see


everything going on
in Charlotte's life!


[typing]


Hey, g*ng.
Charlotte's mom here.


Cool posts, but I am noticing


a lot of
grammatical errors.


"You know what's
really on fleek,


the proper use
of commas. YOLO."


Again with the YOLO!


[sigh] Ollie, I don't know
how much more I can take.


You made your bed,
and now you gotta pee in it.


So, we still
have no leads,


and Principal Walker
won't stop sobbing.


[wailing sob]


Guys! I just thought
of something!


Someone could've planted
a listening device in here.


We might be bugged!


You know what that means?


We need to run to the backyard
the next time we have to toot.


Cami said that!


Yes, we should
definitely do that.


But we also need
to find that bug!


I'll look in the backyard!


[grunting]





You've gotta do something
about your mom's online behavior.


Sorry to lose it like that.
I'm back now.


She's new to social media.
I'm hoping


this is just one of those weird
phases she's going through.


Like you wearing capes.


That was a dark time.


[notification ding]


Ohh. This can't be good.


Hey guys,
I just heard Charlotte


got an A on her coding test!


In honor of that,
I made a super dope vid!


[techno music playing]


[auto-tuned]
I'm Charlotte's mom


Such a very proud mom


I ain't buggin'


Gonna give her a huggin'


'Cause she's the b*mb


And I'm her mom


Charlotte's mom


So pa-pa-pa-pa-proud


Trust!


[video stops]


Please, please, please,
wake up, Charlotte! Wake up!


[sighs]


This has gotta stop!
I have to unfriend her.


It's your only move.


You know what? She has so
many new online friends.


She won't even care. [chuckles]


[Jenna]
Noooo!





Well, the only bugs


we found were the real ones
floating in that juice bottle.


I hate to say it, but...


I can only think of one
possible explanation.


Okay, if it's not
anyone close to us,


and the bunny
isn't spying on us,


it has to be one of us.


Yeah right. There's no way.


Think about it.


The only way someone
can know exactly


what our Would You Wrather
ideas are


is by having access
to that book.


But no one has access to the book
except the three of us.


Well, I know it's not me,
and I know it's not you.


Wait, you think I'm the bunny?


Cooper, tell her
she's being crazy!


Well, you were pretty
angry at the barbecue


when we didn't do your idea.


And he was wearing
those bunny ears!


Are you two being
serious right now?


That isn't a denial.


Fred, look at me
and tell me it isn't true.


I shouldn't have to!
I'm gonna throw out


this disgusting
bottle in the kitchen


while you two come up
with a proper apology!


Cami, what if we're wrong?


Cooper...


Where's your book of
Would You Wrather ideas?


It's gone.


And so is Fred.


How's her mood?


The woman gave me
celery for a snack.


She's a mess.


Hey!


-[music from headphones]
-How's it going?


It's going. Just doing my thing.


Here, I'll write to you about it
on your-- Oh, wait. I'm blocked.


Mom, I wasn't trying
to hurt your feelings.


Well, you did.


But that's only because there's
nothing more important in life


than a mother-daughter
relationship.


[phone ringing]


Ugh. sh**t,
it's Grandma. Ignore.


My mom's not as cool as I am!


Mom, I love you,


but it was just getting
to be a little much


with all the posts
and the videos,


and I'm not the only one.
Right, Ollie?


Coward!


Anyway,


I'm sorry.


I just don't see
what's wrong with a mom


declaring how proud
she is of her daughter


by singing
an auto-tuned techno--


Okay, I hear it now.


See, that's the thing.


I-I don't want you to
stop being proud of me,


or talking to me
about my friends,


or hanging out.


I just wanna do it...


offline.


I guess, I...


may have gotten
a little sidetracked


and overstepped
some boundaries.



-[laugh]
-I'm sorry, sweetie.


How about I re-friend you
and we just start over?


-I'd like that.
-[chuckles]


Aw, that's sweet!


So, what are we doing
about this celery?





[distorted]
Hello? Are you there?


Oh, I'm here.


Thanks for meeting me.


That's for messaging me.


I see you have the book of
Would You Wrathers I want.


That depends.
Do you have what I want?


Ah, so soft and comfy.


I've been dying to know.
Are these made out of cashmere?


Just give me the book.


Come again?!


I said, gimme the book!


-You gotta speak up! I--
-Take off the ears!


Sheesh! Someone has
a case of the crankies.


I just really want
your friends' book.


Friends?
More like backstabbers.


They think
I betrayed them.


I can think of no better
way to pay them back


than by giving you this.


And that's why I got cut
from JV basketball.


Wait!


Why are all these pages blank?


Oh, I dunno. Maybe 'cause...


-it's a trap!
-[click]


-[smack]
-[grunt]


-[Cooper] Yes!
-[Cami] We got you!


[Bunny]
What is going on?!


This was all a set up.


We actually found
the listening device


you planted
under our desk.


So, we faked the fight


with Fred because we
knew you were listening!


Fred would
never betray us.


But, we knew if you
thought he stole our book,


-you'd try and contact him.
-Which you did.


The bunny went
after the carrot.


See what I did there?


Yes. Don't do it again.


We were acting
the whole time,


and brilliantly,
I might add,


there was never even a bug
in that juice bottle.


Yes, there was.


What?! I drank that! Ugh!


So gross, so gross!


Time to see who this
masked bunny is.


-Pam?!
-Pam?!


Gasp!


Surprised, Cami?


Yes.


Very.
Why'd you do it?


[grunt] Are you kidding me?


How about years of


running your errands,
mowing your lawn on weekends?


I mean, I spent my th birthday


unclogging your family's
garbage disposal!


And that wasn't
fun for you?


No, it was not!


And with every late night call
or last minute assignment,


my resentment grew.


I always tried to pay you...


with compliments.


Oh, you paid me with
something better.


I realized if I studied
you long enough,


I'd learn what I need
to bring you down.


Well, you tried,
but it didn't work.


But I came close!


And next time,


I'm gonna finish the job.


I'm coming for you, Cami!


Also, I'm officially giving
you my two weeks' notice.


Okay, that girl
clearly has issues!


You need to start background
checking your employees.


That was bizarre.


-You okay?
-No, I'm not okay!


I drank the juice with a bug in it!
I'm traumatized!


Oh, you meant Cami.





[Cooper]
You sure you're okay?


Yeah, I will be.
I'm just glad it's over.


[Ollie, in strange voice]
Welcome home, Cooper and Cami!


I'm too tired.
What is this?


This your worst
nightmare come to life!


Hey, Bud!
What you doing?


[in strange voice]
Pay no attention to that


handsome stranger on the stairs!


What do you want, Ollie?


No Ollie here.


This is about that goober
Ollie .!


Throw him in the trash!


And buy the real
Ollie some chocolate!


And a ferret!


-It's been a weird day.
-You said it.


You are absolutely useless!





[Charlotte]
Again with the YOLO!
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