06x10 - Three in One

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman.

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet,

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

You mean to say you've
got to close your circus, Tex?

Somebody took my
operational fund out of my safe,

as clean as a whistle.

No money, no circus.

And the police have no
idea who might have done it?

Not a fingerprint,
not a clue of any kind.

I just been plumb
stolen out of business.

The circus is my
life, my whole life.

Without it, I'm just nothing.

Suppose we could
recover the money for you?

Well, that'd be
mighty fine, ma'am,

but police have tried,

and they haven't
come up with a thing.

So in one more
week, no more circus.

Yeah.

It isn't much time.

[WHISTLING]

Don't you know it's bad luck
to whistle in the dressing room?

Who needs luck? We've got luck.

Yeah, sure. We take the money,

the show closes,
so we're out of a job.

There's no percentage.

Look, what we took from
Mr. Tex Dawson's safe

is chicken feed compared to
what we're gonna take from now on.

And we won't have to
wait until the circus closes

before we can start.

We'll do our real work every
night after the performance.

How?

Right in our own line.

I am the world's greatest
escape artist, right?

Of course.

Vaults, straitjackets,
handcuffs, safes, anything.

Everybody knows
you're the greatest.

By the same token, I
can break into anything.

Well, yeah. Robbing
Mr. Dawson's safe proved that.

Correct.

There's just one trouble.

Most of the safes and
vaults on ground floors

are very well-guarded.

I'm beginning to understand.

I am the world's
greatest human fly.

Absolutely the greatest.

Therefore, you could climb
the side of any building,

enter through the window,

then lower the
rope, and pull me up.

And you can open the safes?

Just like that.

Ahhh.

The Daily Planet's leaning hard

on the police
department, Mr. White.

All we do is print
the news, inspector.

Five sensational
robberies in three days

just can't be ignored, you know.

You're right, of course.

I'm just trying to
save my own face.

If I don't get some
action pretty soon,

the commissioner's gonna
have me on the carpet.

Well, I don't understand it.

We know these crimes
were committed, of course.

Just seems impossible.

How can you explain anyone

opening these burglarproof
safes with such ease?

There's only one
man in the country

who might be able to do it.

He's been in state
prison for eight years.

Yes, but even if
he weren't in prison,

how would he get at these safes?

That's the most puzzling
thing about these robberies.

There are plenty of good
second-story men around,

but what kind of a
man can burgle a place

on the 32nd story?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Is there a burglar alarm?

I disconnected it.

Good. Now, why would
they need an alarm?

They have the
protection of 17 stories.

Wait outside the door, Gus.

And keep an eye
out for the watchman.

Okay. Good boy.

Back.

Superman. I'm glad it's you.

Where am I?

What's more to the
point is, who are you?

Well, how did I get up here?

Hm. That's a question the
police would like answered.

I don't understand.

Neither do I. Suppose we
both go to police headquarters

and have all of our
questions answered.

Shall we go? This way.

You mean you... You're
gonna fly me there?

Is there another
way? Be my guest.

He's still a little shaken
up from his trip here,

but I guess he can talk.

Hey, you.

We're reporters
from the Daily Planet.

Do you have a
statement for the press?

The same thing I
told the inspector.

It's a frame-up.

We don't even know who you are.

Why should we frame you?

How should I know?

Maybe you needed a pigeon
for a recent series of crimes.

Or maybe it wasn't
the police at all.

Just what do you mean by that?

All I know is that I was
walking down the street,

and somebody
grabbed me from behind.

Next thing I knew, I
was with Superman

on the 17th floor of a building.

Are you accusing Superman?

I'm not accusing anyone.

I'm just telling you
what happened.

If you're so innocent,

why won't you give us your name?

I explained that. I'm a
respectable businessman.

I don't want to embarrass
my wife and family

with a scandal.

You were caught red-handed
at the scene of a crime.

And you're not gonna be
released until you answer.

Well, if that's your
attitude, inspector,

I have nothing more to say.

Well, I've, uh, been
up with him all night,

and that's as
far as I've gotten.

He keeps saying that
Superman must have flown him

up to the room

or how else would
he have gotten there.

[♪♪♪]

How can ya fight Superman?

I can't.

But I can keep him so
busy with his own troubles,

he won't have time
to bother with us.

Come in, Atlas, come in.

[RUSSIAN ACCENT] Where's job?

You tell me you have job for me.

I do, Atlas, I do.

Pellini and myself have sort
of formed a detective agency,

and we'd like you
to work with us.

Atlas no detective.

Atlas the strongest
man in the world.

Sure, I know.

But what are you going to
do when the circus closes?

I work.

I know. I checked up on you.

You've registered with
an agency for babysitters.

[LAUGHING]

[CHOKING]

Atlas, put him down.

I sorry. Atlas don't like
for people to laugh on him.

Then forget this
job as a babysitter

and come to work with us.

After a while we might
even let you wear a badge.

Yeah. Okay.

What do I do?

Well, the first thing we do...

What you do?

You tell Atlas you detective.

We are.

We just got word
that some crooks

were about to rob this vault,

so we've been hired
to remove the money

before they can get it.

But why you want Atlas?

Your job starts now.

I want you to bend those bars.

Why? You've already
got the safe opened.

Do as I say.

Or are the bars too
thick for the great Atlas?

No bars too thick for Atlas.

Good.

That's enough.

Now all we have to do is
reconnect the burglar alarm.

Reconnect it?

That's right, reconnect it.

"Police still baffled
by Flying Burglar."

What else can they
expect us to be but baffled?

A burglar who seems to fly

through the windows
of skyscrapers.

And escapes from
locked jail cells.

Only, the commissioner
isn't baffled.

He says to stop
this man, or else.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yes?

Right.

The alarm just went off at
the Cityside Loan Company.

Cityside Loan is on the 17th
floor of the Mallory Building.

Maybe we got him this time.

Looks like he finally
made a mistake.

Wanna come along?

No, I better phone
the lead in. Go ahead.

I'll, uh, join you later.

[♪♪♪]

Superman. What
are you doing here?

[CHUCKLES]

I just dropped by, inspector.

When did you get here?

Just a moment ago.

Did you see anyone here?

No.

Did you do this?

Why, no, inspector.

It was this way when I arrived.

Well, you know,
these bars are built

so they can't bend very easily.

I don't know of anyone
who could do this but you.

I'm sorry, Superman,

but I'll have to place
you under arrest.

All right, inspector.
I guess you will.

It worked, Pellini, it worked.

They put Superman in jail.

What he do?

What he do?

[CHUCKLES]

He get in our way,
that's what he do.

Yeah, but if... If
we pull another job

while Superman's still in jail,

well, then they'll
know he's not guilty.

That's right.

That's why we can
only pull one more job.

But it has to be a big one.

A real big one.

We've got a pretty good
case against you, you know.

You were found at
the scene of the crime.

The bars were bent in a
manner requiring super-strength.

The safe was opened
by a master cracksman

or by someone who saw
the tumblers and combination

with his x-ray vision.

And I was on the
top floor of a building

in a room that could only
be entered by a window.

Like I say.

There's only one thing
wrong with this plot.

Where's the loot?

You threw it out the window to
your confederates down below.

Oh, I did? To
whom did I throw it?

Well, who knows?
Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane.

Clark Kent, maybe.

Inspector, you don't really
believe this drivel, do you?

[LAUGHS]

Of course I don't.

But it takes the commissioner
off my back for a few minutes.

And you must have
had some reason

for letting me arrest you
without any argument.

That's right.

Now, somebody obviously
wanted me out of the way.

So they arranged this crime
to look as though I had done it.

But how was it done?

Well, how, we don't
know. Who, we do.

Obviously it's the man
who escaped from your jail.

Now, if we pretend to go
along with his plans, inspector,

maybe he'll trip himself up.

Now, that's a long sh*t.

Yes. Maybe we can
even help him a little.

Help him? How?

By setting a trap

high in the sky where our
man obviously likes to work.

For example, the new
Chapman Building on 4th Street.

That should be
completed now, isn't it?

It is completed.

They placed the
flagpole on top of it today.

Good.

Now, if we could just
arrange to get a certain story

in the next edition
of the Daily Planet...

That shouldn't be too difficult.

Here's Lois Lane now. Look.

This is the biggest
miscarriage of justice...

Now, now, now, Miss Lane,

you mustn't blame
the good inspector.

He's only doing his duty.

And you must admit, on
the face, I look pretty guilty.

Now, that's ridiculous.

And everybody on the paper
is working hard to prove it.

Except Clark.

Nobody's been able to find him.

Oh, I'm sure you'll find
he's doing the best he can.

But you can be of
help to me, Miss Lane.

Me? How?

Simply by publishing a
little squib to the effect

that the ball on the flagpole
in the new Chapman Building

is made of solid gold.

Solid gold?

"Solid gold."

Sixty pounds of solid gold.

That's what it says.

And to top it off, the
famous Kuldesack diamond

is embedded in the gold ball.

"Together, the gold ball
and the huge diamond

are worth a quarter
of a million dollars."

This can be our
last job, Pellini.

Except there's one thing
I'm not so happy about.

It also says an armed guard
is on duty 24 hours a day.

Don't worry about him.

Okay.

Then tonight,
right after the show.

And in the meanwhile,

I'll go look at the building,
the Chapman Building.

I always like to look a
building over in the daytime

before I try
scaling it at night.

Come on, Atlas.

One minute.

I don't like.

The gold ball and big diamond,

she don't belong to us.

Why we take?

Because Superman and
some of his crook friends

stole that stuff from a bunch
of widows and orphans.

And we're going to get it
back for those nice old ladies.

And those poor little kids.

We nice fellas, huh?

The best, Atlas. The very best.

Come on.

MAN: Anybody home?

What do you want?

My name's Olsen.

I'm a reporter for
the Daily Planet.

So? Um...

My paper's doing
a follow-up story

on what happens to performers
after the circus closes.

What happens to
anybody who loses his job?

He looks for another one.

Well, that's the general idea.

But what kind of
jobs do they look for?

What do they get?

For instance, an escape
artist like Harman the Great,

what kind of a job
is he qualified for?

I am Harman the Great.

Really?

And this must be your
famous escape trunk.

No. Wow.

I see can why you're not
worried about another job.

This is stage money
and phony jewelry.

It belongs to Konko the clown.

It has your name on it.

Mr. Olsen...

you came here
looking for a story.

That's right.

I can give you a better
story than you figured on.

How would you
like to do a series

exposing all my famous escapes?

Oh, that'd be great. But
are you sure you wanna tell?

Well, the circus is closing.

I have no further
use for the tricks.

I'm sorry for that, but it
would be a great story.

Yeah, well, there's no use
beginning with the easy ones.

Locks, handcuffs, everybody
knows how to do those.

They do?

But what about my
famous trunk escape?

Would you like to
know how that's done?

Really?

Would you really show
me how to do that?

I sure will.

Do you remember how it goes?

Sure.

They, uh... They strap
you in a straitjacket,

lock you in a trunk,

and then lower the
trunk into a t*nk of water.

Precisely. Now, uh...

would you like to
try this on for size?

There. How does
that feel, Mr. Olsen?

Well, it's a little snug.

Good. Now the next step.

I will lock you in the trunk.

And as soon as I hit the...

But first, you ought to tell
me how to get out of this.

All in good time, Mr. Olsen.

All in good time.

If you will just step inside.

There, that's right.

Now, just bend down.

Here we are.

With Clark still missing,
we're a bit short-handed

on this "Flying Burglar" story.

Mr. Kent's trying to get Jimmy,

take him off the feature
till Clark gets back.

What feature's that, Miss Lane?

He's interviewing
the circus performers

to see what they're gonna
do when the circus closes.

Like the, oh, tattooed
man and the escape artist

and how they're
gonna make a living.

Well, I hope they
don't turn to crime.

My job is tough enough

without having an
escape artist in jail.

Escape artist.

Inspector, are you
thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking I've already
had an escape artist in my jail.

That's right.

That's how all those safes
were opened so easily.

And those bent bars.

Atlas, the strong man.

And the 30-story work.

Pellini the Human Fly.

Well, how do you like that?

They took three men,
put them together

to make one imitation Superman.

Hey, wait a minute.

Jimmy may be
with them right now.

I better go call the office.

Inspector, can you
get me out of here?

I'll get a court order today.

No, wait a minute. There
may not be time for that.

Would you mind if I escaped?

I can't give you my
official permission.

But I can turn my back.

Thank you. Jimmy
might be in danger.

[AIR WHOOSHING]

[♪♪♪]

Ready? It's time to get going.

I'm ready.

Put that trunk in
here, will you, Atlas?

JIMMY: Hey! You forgot
to tell me how to get out.

Huh?

I been in here for hours.

A nosey reporter.

Huh?

Oh, it's a new act
I'm working on, Atlas.

Ventriloquism.

I just I wanna see if I can
throw my voice underwater.

Put me down. Let me out of here.

You pretty good. Yeah.

Just like inside.

Drop it in there,
and let's get going.

Now, we've got a
big job ahead of us.

There. Well, let's go.

Come on, Jimmy.

Superman.

How did you get
yourself in this one?

I was practicing the
underwater escape bit.

Yes, I can see that.

That's a dangerous
thing to fool with.

What do you mean?
I got out, didn't I?

So you did. So you did.

Where's Harman the Great?

I lost him in the shuffle.

I don't know where he went.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I think I do.

I want you to collect Miss Lane

and meet me at the
Chapman Building quickly

because I have a
very good story for you.

We'll be there. Okay.

And there's not
much to all this.

[THUD]

You hit guard pretty hard.

That's how you gotta
treat those crooks.

Remember the widows and orphans?

Okay.

Now, you remember
how we work it?

Sure, sure. Okay.

Good.

Now, as soon as I get
down the rope, you follow.

You sure you can
make it with that weight?

Oh, sure.

Atlas.

Superman. You
supposed to be in jail.

Well, you can see I'm here.

You used to be big hero.

Fine man.

Atlas try to be like you.

Now you crook.

Crook?

You steal gold and diamonds
from widows and orphans.

[GRUNTS]

Those two men were
fooling you, Atlas.

They're the crooks.

You no crook? No.

Hold gold ball. I go down rope.

I have strong talk with them.

Oh, we can make
it quicker than that.

The fool! He dropped it.

And almost k*lled us.

We jump? Pretty far.

[LAUGHS]

Nothing to it. Just hang on.

I fool all right.

Now I almost k*ll you.

[BOTH GRUNT]

JIMMY: Got it.

That'll make a great picture
for the front page, Jim.

That is a good picture, Olsen.

And partly on
the strength of it,

the police have released Atlas.

Golly, that's great.

So he can stay with the circus.

And now that you've
recovered your money,

you won't have to
close your show.

Oh, I'm afraid it's
not that easy, ma'am.

Two of my star performers
turned out to be bad apples.

Show won't be much without 'em.

Well, can't they be replaced?

Well, sure. There are
a couple of great acts

I could get over from Europe.

But by the time I
could manage it,

I couldn't make my play
dates I've contracted for.

Well, Mr. Dawson, tell me, uh,

how much time do you have?

Oh, couple of weeks.

What would you
think of Superman, uh,

as a replacement
for those new acts?

Well, he'd be the greatest
attraction imaginable,

but I hardly think he'd do it.

Oh, I think he will, Mr. Dawson.

In fact, I can almost
assure you he will.

LOIS: Golly, Clark,
won't that be wonderful,

seeing Superman in a circus?

Hey, we can all go together.

Oh, I'm sorry,
Lois. I forgot to...

You know, I'm going on
my vacation next week,

and I've already
made arrangements.

You know, Clark,
sometimes I think

you're jealous of Superman.

Could be, Lois.

I never thought of it before.

Could be.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman.

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.