02x05 - Would You Wrather Have a Frozen Phone?

[bunniefuu]

Fred, what are you doing?


We've gotta start
the Would You Wrather.


These cash cubes blow around
hundreds of dollars.


I bet there's still money in here
from the last guy who used it.


Or his wig.


[phones pinging]


Ollie, yet another meme?!


This is the tenth one
you've sent today.


You are welcome.


Ooh, let me see!
I love a good meme.


"Life is ruff."


Oh, that is wonderful!


[laughs]


Hey, Wratherheads!


Coop and Cami here
with today's dirty question:


Would you rather be
stuck in a cash cube


with the nasty contents
of our vacuum bag?


Or with a giant collection
of already chewed bubble gum?


Vote now!


All right, looks like
vacuum bag wins!


Okay, Ollie, in you go.


What if dirt
gets in my mouth?


Should I just eat the dirt?


Can I time travel
in this thing?


[Coop]
Uh-oh.


MamaWrather says,
"Since Cami blew off her chores all week,


she should get in the cube."


Ooh, sorry.


Tell that fan we don't
take suggestions.


[Jenna]
Not a suggestion!


Going...


If you travel back in time,


will you tell "younger me"


not to stick that
toy soldier up my nose?


You got it, Ollie.


I'm sure this thing
won't be too bad.


[button dings, air whirs]


Make it stop!


Ew! What is this stuff?!


This is so gross!
Cooper! Hurry!


What is this?!


[cube powers down]


That wasn't
so bad, was it?


[coughs]





Would you rather
lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month?


Share your diary
with the world


Or have to eat it
for your lunch?


Sing out of tune
to your friends


Or trip and fall
into your crush?


Shave your head,
paint it red


Or use your dog's
toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on Wratherheads,
play along


Would you rather do this


Would you rather do this


Or would you
rather do that


Would you rather do that


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world


Would you rather do this


Would you
rather do this


Or would you
rather just dance


Or would you
rather just dance


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you
rather do that?


Anyone wants me,
I'll be in the back


doing my junior
firefighter training.


'Cause I'm gonna be
a junior firefighter.


Tomorrow after I take my
junior firefighter test.


I like saying
"junior firefighter."


I can tell.


And can I just say we
are all very proud of you.


Thanks, Mom.


Junior firefighter!


Oh, I see you,
you white-haired cyclops!


You better not be talking
to your grandmother.


No, it's this game Caleb
got me hooked on:


"The Bridges of Krudd."


It's taken me a month,
but I'm just one level away


from getting the Troll
home to safety!


See? That's my avatar.
I'm a trinicorn.


That's a unicorn
with three horns.


Doesn't anyone
play checkers anymore?


-What are you climbing?
-Oh!


A wizard just bestowed me
with webbed feet,


giving me the ability
to scale castle walls.


That one's on me for asking.


[Cami]
Ugh!


That's a good look.


Let me guess--
another one of Pam's pranks?


Yep. I filled her backpack
with stink bugs,


and she rigged my beanie
with shaving cream.


[scoffs] Look, I know
you two are enemies,


but this is too much.


This prank w*r stops now.


Oh, it's gonna stop.


'Cause I have one more
that's gonna end it all.


If you tried to rent
another army t*nk,


you and I are in
for a long talk.


Besides, with you,


there is no such thing
as "just one more."


But Mom! I can't let Pam
have the last laugh.


She'd win!
My honor's at stake.


Plus, she'd win!


Fine.


You're gonna do one more,
aren't you?


And it's gonna be a whopper.


Is this really necessary?


[hisses]


Firefighters constantly have
to rescue cats from trees!


Now give me a boost.


Wow, so many questions.


Oh. Fred's been
helping me get ready


for the agility part
of the test.


Watch.


Wait, Fred's
your agility trainer?


No disrespect, but that's a little--
[laughing]


-[Fred] A little what?
-Aah!

How'd you do that?


You were just there


-and now you're--
-[Fred] Over here?


Four years of tap dancing.
Fastest tootsies in town.


He's helped slash
my obstacle course time in half.


Well good for you, Fred.


And Coop, I just came out
to give you this.


Dad's helmet!


Thought it might
inspire you for tomorrow.


Wow. Thanks.


I was never supposed
to touch this as a kid.


He did anyway.


He'd put it on
and tag along with his dad to the station,


pretending to be a fireman.


Aww, that is so cute.


You're gonna make me
smear my cat makeup.


Oh look, I even have
an old video.


[message alert]


Ollie, stop sending memes!


[Ollie]
Never! Meme life!


[Jenna]
Okay, Coop. Listen to Dad.


[young Cooper mimics sirens]


All right, Coop.
There's the fire,


and it's a big one.
You know what to do.


[Dad laughing]


I'm sorry, Big Frank!


Our kid is a natural!


[Jenna]
He sure is.


There you are.
Good job!


I remember that.


Big Frank knows
a lot of bad words.


You should meet his wife.


Anyway, I know you're
gonna do great tomorrow.


Well, it's a tough test.


I just hope I can pass
so I can make Dad proud.


Of course you'll pass.
You're a Wrather.


Yes, we are!





Whoa, have you been
up all night?


I'm moments away from
completing the final level of my game.


That's it, tiny goblin.


Drink my potion.


It's just
a harmless elixir.


Ha! I lied!


Wither away,
you putrid beast!


I dance on your
wrinkled body!


I worry about you.


But my focus
is taking down Pam.


What's your plan?


I got a guy.


Calls himself "The Artist."


He "paints" his victims by launching
a paint balloon in a sneak att*ck.


Then he's gone in a flash.


You know Mom's gonna
ground you for life, right?


[alerts chiming]


Oh, yay.
Ollie sent another meme.


It's Santa
playing the drums.


"Me at my day job"?


Delete.


Anyway, Mom's
never gonna know.


I'm just gonna text The Artist now,
and then it's done!


Okay, "I need you to paint
Pam tomorrow."


Send.


Oops. "Pam" autocorrected
to "Mom."


That's funny.
Can you imagine?


Sorry, meant to say...


Um... why isn't
my phone working?


It's frozen.


It-- it won't let me
type anything.


It won't even restart!


Look, mine's frozen too.
My game!


Ugh, Charlotte!


The Artist thinks
the target is Mom!


So? Call him on another phone.


I can't!
I only have his contact info on this one.


Aah! Why won't you work?


We're about to head to
the station for Coop's test,


but none of our phones
are working.


Neither are ours.
What's happening?


Remember those
funny memes I sent you?


Turns out one--
or all of them--


were infected with a virus.


It was all.


Ollie, none of us have
working phones now!


Looks like we're the ones
having the "ruff" day!


[giggling]
Oh, that is wonderful!


Um, okay.
Just give me your devices.


I'll take 'em to
Gary's Phone Shack


and get them fixed
before anyone gets painted--


splattered-- I mean,
just give me your phones.


Thanks, Cami.


We'll see you girls when we get back
with our Official Junior Firefighter!


Mom, I haven't passed
the test yet.


Tell Gary my password
is, uh, "Captain Calves."





Fred, I'm the one taking the test.
Why are you stretching?


I've planned a breakdance routine
for after you pass.


My gift for
your hard work.


All right, everybody,
as you know,


the Junior Firefighters test
is only offered once a year,


so give it your all.


And, uh, try not to be
intimidated by this guy.


Thank you, Captain.


The dictionary
defines courage as--


Not you.


Cooper Wrather.


This guy's the son of
a legend: Eric Wrather.


We're all expecting
big things from you, Coop.


Let's go, Cooper!


Mom, this isn't a hockey game.


[both]
Coop-er! Coop-er!


[blows air horn]


First up is the hose carry.


You'll each have seconds
to get them to the drum,


make a -degree turn,
then return to the finish line.


First cadet,
to your mark. Go!


[blows whistle]


Wrather, you're on the clock!





[Jenna]
You got this, Coop!


Ohh! Aggh, my knee!


Cooper!





All right, that's it.
Easy does it.


I'll be okay.


Just try to lean a little less
on my shoulder.


The doctor said even though
it's not serious,


you need to stay off
that knee.


I'll grab some better pillows.


Mom, I'll be fine with these!


I can't believe this happened.


This is all on me.
I'm a fraud!


Take this training license
and tear it to shreds.


This is a frozen yogurt
punch card.


Ooh, gimme!


I'm only one double swirl
away from a freebie.


Here you go, sweetie.


A pillow, an ice pack, and a juice box
for my special little man.


I can't help but notice
there's only one juice box.


Mom, you don't have to baby me.


[baby-talking]
Okay. You yell if you need anything.


Well, well, well.


Do I smell deception
in the air?


What are you talking about?


Coop, I'm your best friend


and I know that when
you're really hurt or sick


you love being babied.


-I do not!
-Please.


Remember when you
stubbed your toe


and Jenna had to carry you
all over the house?


That was you.


Don't sass me!


You get a headache,
and suddenly we're all the hired help.


"I need, I want, me, me, me!"


I don't act like that.


Oh, so now you're saying
I don't know my own best friend?


Maybe not as well
as you think you do.


-Okay.
-Okay.


-Okay.
-Okay!


-Okay!
-Okay!


Fred, you left the door open!





Bad news.


Gary says our phones
won't be fixed 'til Friday.


Wait, so I can't save my Troll
for another two days?


The Snow People will
cook him for supper!


When did you become
the weird one?


Guys, focus.


Today's the day our mother
is targeted to be blasted with paint.


Because of you.


No need to point fingers, Ollie.


Sorry.
Because of you.


Well since I have no way
of calling The Artist off,


the only move here
is to play defense.


We need to keep
Mom safe.


We?


You have to help me.
Come on!


Without your phone,
you can't save the Troll,


but you can save Mom.


Please. Just because
I can't finish my game


you think I'll jump
onboard with you?


-Uh huh.
-I ,Trinicorn,


first of my name,
mother of all unicorns,


accept your noble offer.


I'm not sure
what to do right now.


Cooper, you know Tickles.


Also known as
Sir Licks-A-Lot.


Fred, you know dog licks
creep me out.


Why'd you bring him in here?


There are two things Tickles
loves more than anything.


Me... and bologna.


And the three of us are about to prove
that you're up to something!


Fred, I don't enjoy having
bologna rubbed on my face!


Doesn't feel like something
I should have to say.


Once I let Tickles
off his leash,


he's gonna take one whiff of you
and get to lickin'.


I'd start running now.


You know I can't run.


Did I mention he was diagnosed
with overactive salivary glands?


Imagine both of us having
the same affliction.


Ready. Set...


Okay, stop!
I'm faking it!


A-ha! Told ya
I knew my best friend!


In your face!


So, tell me
what's going on, bud?


I don't wanna talk about it.


Just promise you
won't tell my mom.


Sure, don't worry.


But whenever you're
ready to talk, I'm here.


Thanks, Fred.


Bring it in, big guy.


Fred, do something!


Aw!


I patrolled the grounds.


The perimeter is secure,
and Mom is in her room.


-No, I'm not.
-[both] Oh!


You scared
the orc-berries out of me.


Well, then I'm glad
it's not laundry day.


Excuse me, girls,
I need to get out.


"Out"? Like, "outside"?


Your issues are not
in my teen manual.


-Excuse me.
-Heh.


Okay, what are we doing?


We don't want you to leave.


Stay here
and be close to us.


Save it, we're not
putting in a pool.


Ollie, what'd I tell you about
leaving your toys in the yard?


The Artist!


What was that?


Oh, we call Ollie...
The... Fartist.


It's Fart Doctor, M.D.


Your mom is gonna be
home soon.


You should really
put your brace back on.


Yeah, I guess Tickles' pee
should be dry by now.


Still wet.


[Jenna]
Coop, I'm home!


Put it on, Cooper!
Put it on!


Ugh, I forgot
which knee it goes on!


It was on your... gah!
I forgot too!


The right knee!


Wait, my right or your right?


-I don't know!
-[Jenna] It was actually the left.


[awkward chuckle]


Your left? Or his left?





Let's talk.


Mom, you wouldn't understand.


Well, help me understand,


'cause I don't like
being lied to.


I don't know.


I was there
at the fire station.


I saw Dad's picture,
his helmet.


All the awards.


Everything reminded me
what a superhero he was.


It just kinda
hit me all at once.


What if I can't
live up to that?


So you faked getting hurt?


I'm sorry I lied.


But what if Eric Wrather's
own kid failed the test?


I'd be letting down Dad.


Coop...


I didn't give you this
so you'd compare yourself to Dad.


I just wanted you to feel like
he was always with you.


This is your journey.


Also, can I tell you a secret?


Your Dad...


[whispers]
wasn't a superhero.


Couldn't fly,


didn't ace every test,


and there were times he doubted himself,
just like you're doing.


-Really?
-Yeah.


But he'd never
let that stop him.


He'd always say,
"Never quit..."


[both] ..."and you'll never
let yourself down."


He told me that when I was convinced
I'd never learn how to skate.


And now you're co-captain
of your hockey team.


He was right.


Oh, man. I should have
never bailed on the test!


Now I can't retake it
for a year.


Oh, maybe, maybe not.


Let me see what I can do.


I know some people
down at the station...


and their secrets.





All right. We need to make sure
we know where Mom is at all times.


-I'm on it.
-Hey, girls.


-Aah!
--She's right there.


Ooh. So what do you think
of my new sweater?


I'm gonna wear it when Coop


takes his Junior Firefighter test again
this afternoon.


-You're going out again?
-In that?


You could have just said,
"Not a fan."


I'm gonna finish
getting ready.


If Mom goes out in that,
she'll be a walking paint canvas!


We need a new strategy.


It's too bad this isn't
"The Bridges of Krudd."


You know, I could offer the Elf King
a magic goat for his Mirror Stone.


What does that do?


Well, it allows you to create
multiple fake trolls


so the attacking ogres don't know
which is the real one. Duh.


Charlotte, you're brilliant.


Aw, it's why the hill gnomes
wrote a song about me:


"The Ballad of
Lady Webbed Feet."


I'm gonna get you help...
but right now,


we need to get multiple look-alikes
to confuse The Artist!


We may not have a Mirror Stone,
but we have Mom's cousins!


Okay...


[dial tone]


Do you know how
to work this thing?


All I hear is weird humming.


[clears throat]
Call cousin Jane.


[busy signal]





Mom, isn't it nice to have
all this family support here for Cooper?


Sit down, Jane!


I told you no bathroom breaks!


Hey, Mom, Big Frank
taught me some cool new words.


Say them and you'll get
some cool new punishments.


[Jenna]
Here he comes!


Nice work!
Hose drag complete!


Last challenge--
dummy rescue!


Hurry! Clock is ticking!


You got this, Coop!


This is it!
All he has to do


is get that dummy
over the finish line.


-He's got this!
-Go Coop!


Almost... there...


Come on, Coop!
Move your lazy--!


Uh-oh, change of plans.


This finish line has
suddenly caught fire.


The new end point
is over there.


That wasn't in the handbook!


You gotta be prepared
for the unexpected.


Those cones are flames.


Touch one and you're out!
Twenty-five seconds.


[Cooper grunting]


[all gasp]


Don't give up!


[panting]
You can do this.


[grunting]


Five, four, three, two...


[cheering]


-You did it!
-All right, baby bro!


That's my boy!


Nice one, Coop!


I made it.


It's official.


You're Station Fourteen's
newest Junior Firefighter.


Nice going, Wrather.


[cheering and applause]


Nice work, my friend.


As a congratulations,
I'm giving you my free fro-yo.


The break dance is still
a work in progress.


Oh, who am I kidding?
You deserve it.


Well, looks like
we can go home now.


-Sorry, I thought you were--
-She's over here!


Mom.


Oh, come on!


Why am I holding
your hand?


I left my camera in the car.


[both]
Nooooooo!


Mom!


[both gasping]


I did it.
I saved the Troll!


Did you just call me a--


Trinicorn
victory dance!


Clippity, cloppity,
clippity, cloppity...


Soooooo...
Cooper faked an injury?


What's up with that?


You went ahead with
the prank, didn't you?


Yes. But to be fair,


one could argue
this is punishment enough.


Hmm. They' would be
really, really wrong.


Clippity, cloppity,
clippity, cloppity,


clippity, cloppity,
clippity, cloppity...


You earned that helmet today.


And it looks really great
next to Dad's.


I think so too.


It's moments like these
that mothers live for.


Well, I gotta go
hose down your sisters.


I didn't give up, Dad.


[sighs] And I never will.





[Charlotte]
Clippity, cloppity...