01x04 - Switch Hitter

Episode transcripts for the TV show "A League of their Own". Aired: August 12, 2022 - present.*
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Following the WWII All-American professional women's baseball league players as they travel across a ever changing U.S.A.
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01x04 - Switch Hitter

Post by bunniefuu »



As spring turns to summer

and Allied b*mb begin
to fall over Rome,

from every corner of America, brave
men say goodbye to their families

and hello to Uncle Sam as
they join the fight for freedom.

And while these boys are away,
the girls will play.

Ball, meet the Rockford Peaches.

While their men h*t back
against fascism,

these gals of summer h*t homeruns

and draw crowds
with their come hither looks.

A perfect smile can win any game.

And, wow, look at those
pearly whites gleam.

They must be eating Baker choco bars.

And with the one and only
Dove Porter teaching them how

real men play America's game,

the Peaches are tough enough
to k*ll some doves of their own.

With impeccable manners, of course.

But these diamond girls
are still homemakers at heart,

and they always have time
for their true feminine passions.

So come on down to the ballpark

and see just how sweet
these Peaches can be.

Baker choco candy bars
are not scientifically proven

to make your teeth whiter.


Hey, hey.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You look nice. You meeting someone?

I am, um... I'm heading to the library.

Uh, if you wanna come.

Either of you. Both of you.

Or one. Or all of us go.

We're doing our nails.

Okay. As you were.

Okay. I'm gonna go to the
store and see if I can find anything

that'll knock me unconscious
for a day or two.

Just kidding.

[CHUCKLES] Do you want
anything, smokes or anything?


Okay, bye.



All right. Nice, nice, nice. Come on!



- Oh!

I think I touched a spider.


[WHISPERING] Do people
know about this place?

I think a couple of the
girls sneak guys down here.

We can't go places
where people know about.



We can find somewhere else.

The first ladies of Rockford working

on their sixth win in the last seven.

I'd say Dove Porter's
got these Peaches in season.


Do you know what this means?
We're out of last place!

We're not the absolute worst!

I've never seen anybody
so happy to be in third place.

- What was that?

I think it's probably just an...

An owl whose tree we're against.

We gotta go.

God damn it!


I mean, we can't even
have the woods now?


So first you just wanna be friends

and now you can't keep
your hands off me? [SCOFFS]

What's the rush?

There's no... There's no rush. I just...

I don't know. I wanna
find a spot where we can...



You know...


Okay. Why don't you go inside first?


I like to watch you.


I can't believe it's real.

I know. Me either.

Whatcha gonna do with it?

I guess I could use a new mitt.

No, not baseball things.

I feel weird. I've never held
this much money before.

I thought it would be heavier.

Doesn't Miss Toni
give you money for everything?

Yeah, but this is mine.

Ooh, God, American dollars a week!

That is five times what
I make over at Mrs. Berry's.


I think we might lose the
house without Guy's tips.

You know, more guys are
getting drafted at the factory.

They're always asking
me if I have friends.

No. Guy wouldn't like me working there.


Ooh! I know what you could
spend the money on, though.

Ever wonder what it'd be like
to walk down the road like this?

No, I'm good.

I think I know what I wanna
spend the money on.

Uh-oh. What?

Max. What?


I'll take some eggs.

- Morning, Daddy.
- Good morning, sunshine.

Please tell your daughter I only
take requests from paying customers.

For rent.

And expenses.

And some eggs.

You should keep your money.

You're gonna need it
for when the w*r ends

and they f*re all of you to make
room for those white men coming back.

Well, it's a good thing I'll be
in the n*gro Leagues by then.

- 'Cause they pay even better.

- What? What?
- This is all your fault.

I'm just sitting.

Yeah, I'm not gonna try and
talk any sense into either of you.

But if you are so
desperate to pay rent...


- You got some eggs?
- Really? That's how you gonna...

- I didn't think so. That's mine.


Hey, Guy.

You could just put that down.

You only lookin' at it for the bad news.

That's all there is.

Okay. That's not true. See, look, here.

There is... Okay,
that's a tornado, so...

That is bad. Riots, bad.

Ooh! Look, here, see? "Mine collapses."

Right. Well, Speed Jaxon.
You love Speed Jaxon.

He is a soldier, like you.

He is strong and fast,
just like you are,

and he KOs n*zi, just like you will.

I'm not like Speed Jaxon.

He's not afraid of anything.

Okay, you know I love you naked,

but, um, you know, what I gotta

do to get you back to yourself...

- No.
- Okay.

You know, I've been thinking

that I should leave Mrs. Berry and
go work at the factory with Max...

No, no.

We gonna be, uh, making
screws and wing plane parts...

No, baby!

I said no.

It's not safe.

We just got this house
and I ain't losing it.

So this is just what
has to happen. Okay?

Now, why don't you put on a shirt?

Or sleeve of a shirt?

Just the left one?

[MAYBELLE] Road trip!



[CARSON] So, Johnson's number three.

She's always going for the high ones.


It's a whole thing.

Have you been writing down
every play from every game?

Hmm. Every pitch. She's
practically compulsive.

Oh. Can I see?

It's just something I've been
doin' since I was a kid. Um...

Yeah, so the cleanup,
I think her name is Simmons,

she always swings on the
first pitch, no matter what.

Wow. Can we show these to
Terri? She's gonna need the help.

Oh, Coach, I'm... My arm's
loose again. I can pitch.

That would be great.

I mean, not that Terri's bad.
She's got great off-speed stuff. But...

Come on, Dove, please.

Hey, you know why they still
talk about that stupid bird I k*lled?

Because I didn't play long
enough to have any other story.

I blew my arm out. I don't
want that for you, okay?

You get me?


I'm just trying to help her out.

- Yeah.
- Let me see.

A big squiggle is a curve
and a little squiggle is a sinker?

Uh, yeah, like, this system wasn't

really meant to be seen by anybody else.

- No, I think I got the hang of it.
- [CARSON] Okay.

We're gonna give you this
one, but it's an ugly one.

- Ew.
- Sorry.



Yes, yes. An excellent idea.

Ladies. Ladies,
at Mrs. Shaw's suggestion,

and in the interest of collegiality,

we will be changing up the
room assignments on this trip.

Lupe and Esti.

Wow, how absolutely random!

- Shirley and Jo.
- Girl!

Greta and, mmm...

Maybelle, Carson and Jess.

Almost got lucky that time.


♪ And his daughter Clementine ♪

♪ Oh, my darling, oh, my darling ♪

♪ Oh, my darling, Clementine ♪

I mean, I don't think that you
should room with Jo because, I mean,

she wears this perfume
sometimes and it affects me.

- It gives me a headache.
- Ugh.

And I know how much more
sensitive you are to that stuff.

It's probably aftershave,
if you know what I mean?

So, that would be amazing
if you would switch.

- Yeah. Definitely.
- Thank you.

I just, I don't wanna hurt
Jess's feelings.

Oh, my goodness! What if you
ask Maybelle to switch with Jo?

No, no, that doesn't work.

Because then Greta
and Jo'll be together,

and I do think it's really
important to promote collegiality.

- I could not agree more.
- Yeah. What are we going to do?

We could put Jo with Jess
and you with Greta.

Oh, my God! Shirley!
I didn't even think of that.

I never thought of that.

It just... I thought
of it just really quickly.

- Smart!
- Okay, um, I'll go talk to Jo.

- Okay.
- I want you safe.

- Okay.
- Okay. I got you.

- All right.
- Okay.

♪ In a cavern in a canyon ♪

♪ Excavating for a mine ♪

♪ Dwelt a miner forty-niner ♪

♪ And his daughter Clementine ♪

♪ Oh, my darling, oh, my darling ♪

Quickly, quickly, ladies!

Everyone grab your things
and let's be off.


So, between my allergies
and a spirit of collegiality,

it just makes sense
for you to room with Carson.

Well, if Sarge says
it's okay, that's fine.

- So understanding.
- Of course.

- [MAN] Ladies, your bags.
- Thanks.



This is a funny-looking hotel!

The motel only had room
for Coach Porter.

But they were happy to rent us
rooms here. Adventure, ladies!

[ANA] Oh, if my mother could see me now.

- Welcome.
- Hello, Sister.

While you are here at our Blessed
Sacrament, you must be silent,

except for words of prayer or service.

Follow me.

[JO] Guys, guys, guys.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,

but please let me kick ass tomorrow.

- Amen.

What are you so happy about?

never been in a convent before.

And I love God.

Me, too.

Big fan, yeah. Let me show you around.

I'm impressed, Shaw. This... Ooh!


- Sorry. Was that too much?
- No, no, no, I'm sorry.

I... I want your hand there.
I want your hand there.

- You do?
- Yeah, I do.

- Go, go, go.
- Okay. Okay.


Whoa. Okay.

No. Why did you stop?

Because you're not breathing.

Sorry. I don't know
what's wrong with me.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.


You thinking about Charlie?

No. I just... I'm messing
this up. I'm messin' it up.

No, you're not.

Listen, we have all night, and tomorrow.

Yeah. Okay.

Plus, I'm a little hungry.

I'm hungry, too.

We could go see if nuns like snacks.

They got to.


Hey. How'd you get those?

I said they were for my brother.

Oh, yeah? How many brothers you got?

A lot.


why do you always have
to be in such a bad mood?

If I don't play, I'm not useful.

Do you think they'll kick
me out? And then what?

You can always go home, right?
And come back whenever you want.

You're such a child!

Oh, come on! Jo's no
q*eer! She's my roommate!

Mmm. My mother said never trust
a woman who loves a sandwich.

Hmm. You know, she does talk an awful

lot about Katharine Hepburn in pants.

My rabbi said it spreads.

One day you're walking around liking

men, and then the next... lobotomy.

- Oh!
- It's the only cure.


And it turns out that confession
is not actually confidential.

- No.
- I know.

It should be.

Well, that's why Jo can never
go back to Massachusetts.


You're really beautiful, you know that?

- No, you are. Just take it.
- No.

Yeah, especially when
you're eating that sausage.

- Thank you.
- Ooh!

Okay, remember when we first kissed?

- Hmm.

Why did you leave with that guy?

Whenever I'm starting
something new with someone,

I always like to make sure
that I'm seen on a man's arm.

- That makes sense?
- Yeah.

It's just one of the rules that
I have to keep myself safe.

So, you've done this...

a lot?

Were the other women also married?

A lot of 'em were.

It can actually help with the marriages.

Makes what they do with their
husbands a little more fun.

I guess I have this
feeling that there's this line,

that if I cross it,

I won't be able to go back.

You will, though.

And September will be coming
soon and you'll go back with Charlie,

and Jo and I will be in California.

And we will just be so
glad that we had this little...


- Yeah.
- Yeah.


I just... I don't know what to do.

He's not even clipping his
toenails, and he usually loves that.

He does? Gross.

Yeah. Guess I didn't
realize how weird that was.

What if we did a double date?

You and Guy. Me and Gary.

You could tell him I'm nervous about

it, and that you wanna keep things cool.

I'm sorry. Are you and Gary in
double-date territory already?

I didn't realize that was
a specific territory,

but he's sweet, and doesn't
think I'm weird, so... Yeah.


Anyways, Guy doesn't
even need to leave the house.

Gary and I'll come over. I'll even cook.

Okay. It's not bad enough
the guy has to go to w*r? No.

[GASPS] But Guy can cook.

He loves that. It always
brings him back to himself.

Kinda like, you know,
drawing does for me.

Looks like Grandma came to visit.

Well, looky here.

You read the new Captain America?

No. Speed Jaxon is, like, ten times
more real than Captain America.

If by real you mean
incredibly boring, just like you.

Your face is boring! Let's go.

- Can you believe he called us "boring"?
- Us? He said you.

Yeah, well, I might be boring,

but my borin' ass has
got a job. What you got?

We goin' to work. We got a date.

[MAX] You can do this, Clance.

Can I? These women's arms are gigantic.

Oh, my God! Cheryl!
Thank God. Cheryl's here.

Good to see you.

Dumb as a rock.

She once called my house
to ask for my number.

If she can do this, I definitely can.


It's so loud! We should
get desks next to each other.

- We'll see.
- Mm-hmm.

I thought you said that it
was mostly white guys here.

- [MAX] It was.
- Chapman, right?


You're in charge of your section
now. Show the new girls what to do.

I don't want anyone losin' a limb.

Uh, wait, Jim Fowkes is my boss.

Not anymore. He quit and I'm here.

He quit?

He quit.

Clance! Clance, he quit.
This is it. This is my sh*t.

Are people losin' limbs here?
'Cause I can't afford that.

No, listen. Jim Fowkes is gone.
Which means that they need a starter.

- Max?
- Yeah.

This is what you wanted!


Okay, okay, okay. Uh, I'm gonna
go find the coach. Cover for me.



Hi. I'm Clance.
I just started here, so, uh...

What do we do?

What is that thing?


Heard you're a man down, Coach.

[SIGHS] The g*n Factory
poached Fowkes. Dirty move.

Well, you know where to
look for his replacement.


I'm late for a meeting.

- Where are we going?
- Jesus, kid, can you give it a rest?

No. I can't. But once you see
me pitch, you'll understand why.

Until then, I'mma just keep showin' up.

On the field. At your office.

- Even at your house if I have to.

And giving me a sh*t is gonna be a

lot easier than explaining to your wife.

- Why I'm in the yard.
- Jesus, fine.

Come see me after practice
Thursday. I'll check out your stuff.

Yes, sir.


[ANNOUNCER] It's been all Peaches today

as Greta Gill strides to the plate.

This is the first of a two-game series

here between Rockford and Kenosha.

[PLAYER] Here we go, Gill!

[ANNOUNCER] Here's the pitch.

Gill gets into one. Boy, she
clobbered it. That baby is gone.

Cabelle crosses the plate
and Gill struts her way home.

- Nice h*t.
- [GRETA] Thanks.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Great job, kid. I'm proud of you.


What's going on with him?

Let's go, Shaw!

[ANNOUNCER] Shaw stands in at the plate.

[DOVE] Keep it goin'.

She hammers it deep into left field.

She's rounding first.

And she'll pull up into second
with a stand-up double.

De Luca steps up to the plate now
and kisses her arm for good luck.

[ALAN] Dove! Dove, get over here!

[DOVE] Look, I'm sorry
you found out this way.

[ALAN] Seriously?
You've got to be kidding.

[DOVE] Settle down.

- [ANNOUNCER] Here's the pitch.
- What the hell?

[ANNOUNCER] Fly ball to centerfield.

- And Shaw is frozen.
- Carson, run!

[ANNOUNCER] It looks
like a double for De Luca.

[JO] Carson, go!

- Oh, sh*t.
- [ANNOUNCER] Now Shaw runs.

She rounds third. And...


[ANNOUNCER] She is safe at home.

The Comets are getting
crushed by the Peaches.

What happened? Where's Dove?

Oh. Beverly said to play
the last inning without him.

What? Okay.

Coach Porter requires a few
days to tend to a personal matter.

- I saw them fighting.
- What does that mean?

[IN ENGLISH] He's d*ad.

He's not d*ad, Shirley. We just saw him.



- [bl*ws WHISTLE]

I don't know anything about the game,

so I think it would be prudent
for one of you to step in.

Step in as coach? No. There
has to be a man somewhere.

- Ugh.
- That man who runs the scoreboard.

All right. We're not gonna
listen to the scoreboard guy.

It should be Greta.
She's already leading us.

Yes. I second that. And she's very
tall. You can see her from anywhere.

Fine then.
Miss Gill, your team needs you.


- We need Shaw.

- [JO] Do we?
- [GRETA] Yeah.

- She's the right one for the job.

Uh, what?

I second. If I may.

She knows everything about baseball,

and she already makes the game cards.

- [GRETA] That's right.
- I don't know...

Uh, I'll do it. I'll take over for Dove.

I know what he's thinking.
And I'm already in the dugout.

[CARSON] I don't know.

[SHIRLEY] I don't like
that either. It's not right.

The general consensus
is not the right energy.

[SPEAKING SPANISH] No, no, no, wait.

Now you're telling me that you're
going to be the coach here, now?

Yes, of course.


child approves, she enjoys it.

She thinks it's fantastic.
That's why she's giggling.

- I second Lupe.
- Thank you.

[bl*ws WHISTLE] Everybody
stop with the seconding.

This is not a democracy.

Mrs. Shaw, Miss Garcia, you
will take on the task together.

It's just for a few days.
We will all survive.

I'm quite sure.

- Okay.
- Okay.


I liked watching you
break one of your rules today.

- Which one?
- To not act close in public.

You picked me.

Well, the team comes first, right?


How are you and Lupe, um...


I like you confident, Shaw.

Oh, it's "Shaw" still?

[ANNOUNCER] Our own Comets,
coached by Barney Ironmouth,

up against the Rockford Peaches,
managed by Dove Porter, in absentia,

which I'm sure the
married gals can relate to.

So, should we just
stick with the lineup?

Actually, I think you should go fifth.

Jo should go third.
She's got a hot bat right now.

Why, thank you!

Carson's got a hot bat too.

No, I think this is a good
idea. Jo's bat's hotter.

- Mm-hmm.
- And thank you as well, farm girl.

[ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen,

let's give a temperate Kenosha welcome

to the fad that's spreading even
faster than fascism. Night baseball!


[LUPE] Anyone see?

[SHIRLEY] No. Not good.

Really not good for me.

I don't like this. I don't like this.



[JO] I got it.

- [SHIRLEY] You got it?
- I got it.

[SHIRLEY] Where is it?

De Luca misses an easy pop fly.

- I got spots in my eyes.
- [CARSON] It's all right.

Gonzales is all turned around.


[ANNOUNCER] Peaches are off to a rocky

start playing their first night game.

The Comets look better than ever.

- Oh, come on!

[ANNOUNCER] Maybe the Peaches
need to get their eyes examined.

- Wow. What am I even looking at?

We can't see anything.

What are you guys doing out there, huh?

[JESS] We're trying.

Thought that inning was never gonna end.

I don't know how
they're playing this well.

They're like bats out there.

Yeah, those western small-foots.

Ladies, what... You
all look drunk out there.

[JO, SCOFFS] I wish.

You know, I was looking at the stats,

and the Comets have won every
night game they've ever played.

Maybe that's not a coincidence.

Don't make accusations you can't prove.


That's an easy out for Kenosha.

Okay. Okay. Think.
What would Dove do right now?

He'd abandon us.

It's not helpful right now.
Okay? Really.

- It's true.
- Something isn't right here.


[ANNOUNCER] The Comets
have a five-run lead

as they bruise the Peaches in the field.


- [JO] Come on, Shirley.
- I hate this! I cannot see where it is.

Come on, Shirl!

It's so dark! Where is it?

Peaches look as lost as field mice.

Turn right! Come on!

Whose right? My right or your right?

To your right! Right!

[IN ENGLISH] She's coming home!

Ugh! I hate this.



- [CARSON] Lu, the light.
- [LUPE] Yeah, okay.

What is going on?

Oh, hey, whoa. Excuse me. You
cannot have ten players on the field.

- I'm the coach. We are.
- Yeah. Us.

Yeah, and they're clearly cheating.

They're turning off one of the lights.

Miss, you don't wanna
be making those accusations

against a veteran
of the Battle of Dogger Bank.

Well, I don't know what Dogger Bank is,

but I do know that they're turning

off left field when we're not at bat.

Marty. The Mayor told us to
limit our electricity. For the w*r.

- We serve when we conserve.
- Well, if it's for the w*r...

[BARNEY] Definitely.

Sorry, the Mayor called you
to turn off one light for the w*r?

- [UMPIRE] That's a good question.
- Just one?

In battles like Dogger Bank, little
things can make a big difference.

Okay. My husband
is in the w*r that's now.

Right now.

Okay? And if he was
here, he would say...

- What would he say?
- That...

fairness and its cousin, freedom,

shine way brighter than,

than, than that light would

if you put it on.

- [UMPIRE] What?
- [BARNEY] I don't get it.


- Well, I...
- But the rulebook does clearly say

that for night games the condition of

the illumination cannot change midway.

So either the light comes back on,

or we have to start this
whole thing back over.


I gotta get home in time
for Mister District Attorney.

So, you know, turn the light
back on. [CLEARS THROAT]

- It's gonna take a minute to warm up.
- Thank you.

[BARNEY] I don't believe it.

You read the rulebook?

Yeah, I've had a lot
of time on the bench.

Well, we're still way behind.
We gotta back foot 'em.




They play dirty, we're
gonna play f*ck' filthy.

Damn, Shaw.

You know...

[ANNOUNCER] Top of the fifth inning.

Let's see if the Comets
can hold the Peaches here.


- You think she should...
- Yeah, she should...


[ANNOUNCER] Gonzales with a
huge lead. And the Peaches are running.

The throw from home,
over third base, into left field.

Gonzales rounds third.
She's coming home.

Here's the throw. She
slides. And she's safe.


Peaches are running wild.

Top of the seventh, and
the Peaches are up one run,

leading the Comets eight to seven.

And the pitch. And it's another steal.

Cabelle is running. Can she make it?

[UMPIRE] Safe!

another steal for the Peaches.


Coach isn't happy.

He said there's a gentlemen's
agreement about not stealing.

Oh. Well, maybe that's
the problem, Deborah.

We don't seem to have
any gentlemen left.

You have a good night.


[JESS] Two, three...

All right. So we're two
games behind the Comets,

three behind the Blue Sox.

You know what I think?

If we b*at the Sox tomorrow,
we're gonna win this whole thing.

Guess we better b*at them then.

I like this confidence, Lu.


Just a bunch of idiots.

Hey, um, is it okay if I sit here?

- We did it.
- Yeah.

Thanks for believing in me.

I don't know if anyone's
ever done that before.


The pleasure's all mine.



[ANNOUNCER] Monte Irvin takes
the plate as Chapman centers herself.

I don't think he knows
what she's about to give him.


Here's the windup.

And the pitch.

Are you trying to start World w*r III?

Gotta get ready.

Ready? For what?

I'm throwing for Coach
Vance on Thursday.


- Really?
- Yeah.

Well, I don't think this wall can take

too much more of
your fastball, so, uh...

All right, then.



God, take it easy.

[GIGGLES] Sorry.
Forgot you're an old man.


So, what'd you think?

Well, you definitely got the heat.

Come on. There's gotta be something.

I don't think this old man
has anything left to teach you,

except how to celebrate.

Come on.

You think of a nickname yet?

How about "Action" Chapman, huh?

- We can do better.
- You think so?

- Yeah.
- Or...

"Chargin'" Chapman.


We're getting warmer.

[TONI] You just get on out of here then.

You can't just show up out of nowhere.

Mom, are you okay? Who was that?

- Nobody.
- It was your Aunt Bertie.

- Edgar.
- She's gonna find out.

Wait. Aunt Bertie's in town?

Been stayin' down at
the Flats for a while now.

What is goin' on?

No more throwing baseballs on my ad.

I paid good money for that wall
and you're making it look ragged.


[CLANCE] I thought he was goin' to take

me to some fancy spot. I was so excited.

And then this fool leads me
to his mama's front porch.

Hell he did. No, he didn't.

And gives me a hand-written menu

- with the words "Guy's Cafe" on it.
- Guy's Cafe.

I almost left. I thought,
"This cheap-ass mother..."

But then, then, I tasted his pork.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.

- She moaned so loud, my mama burst out.

- Thought I brought home a loose woman.
- Oh, my God!

I'm sorry, but I felt that
pork down to my toes.

- Mm-hmm.
- [CLANCY] Oh!

I swear to God, I fell in love
with him right then and there.

Me too, baby.

All right, well, let's say grace.

Dear Lord, thank you for
family, friends, and food.

- Amen.
- [ALL] Amen!


Guess this will be the
last time I make this.

[CLANCY] Stop it. No.

Okay, you gone make
this good pork again.

[GARY] Mmm!

- This is good.
- Yeah, you like that.

What, you gonna fall in love
with Guy too now?

- Hands off. He's mine.
- Mm-hmm. All yours.

- [CLANCY] Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Don't be embarrassing.
- What's wrong?

- What's wrong? What?
- I'm sorry. This just doesn't happen.

[GUY] All right, now, um,
let me give you some advice.

You'll never understand what
these two are saying to each other,

- and you just have to accept that.

- I can live with that.
- Yeah, we'll see.

- See, he's perfect.

[GARY] I don't know about perfect.

So, how you two enjoying
the factory life so far?

- I love it.
- It's different.

You love it?


I just like making things.
The big machines.

I always kinda liked doing something

over and over till you get better at it.

That make sense?

- Sure.
- Like baseball?

Oh, my God. Max isn't bringing
up baseball tonight, for once.

- Why the hell do you have to?
- Well, actually...

I was gonna save this till after
dessert, but I have some news.

I'm trying out to be
the new pitcher tomorrow.

Yes, you are.

I thought you were gonna be
the new pitcher, Gary?


Oh, sh*t.

- Max, I had no idea.
- I'm sorry, Gary, I messed up.

- You know I would've told you.
- I forgot you told me not to tell.

My allegiance is to you.

I've just been going
through so much in my head.


No, no, Coach said Thursday.

He offered it to me yesterday.

What was I supposed to do, turn it down?

This is my dream.

Yeah, well, it's my dream, too.


[CLANCE] Max. Max.

- [GARY] Maxine.

You gonna give those damn
Germans our coordinates, ain't you?


Maxine. I should've told you.

So, why didn't you?

Because I knew you'd get upset.

You know I want this
just as bad as you do.

- If you actually paid attention to me.
- Oh, not even half as bad.

I'm a better pitcher than
you, and you know it.

That's why you didn't
tell me. Tell the truth.

You're not on the team. I am.

The men's baseball team.

Why is this the only thing
that matters to you?

Because it is.

[SCOFFS] Yeah.

I thought I was finally
gonna get to kiss you tonight.

We could be like them.

We will never be like them.

[TONI] ...work in the salon and focus.

[EDGAR] Yeah, but she doesn't
wanna work in the salon.

[TONI] It doesn't matter what she wants.

The baseball isn't working out, is it?

[EDGAR] You gotta give
the woman a little bit of hope.

[TONI] Oh, pshh.
I mean, I can't believe you.

Playing around with her
outside like that.

[EDGAR] You had a dream, didn't you?

Why can't she? Why can't
she just try just a little bit longer?

It's not the same thing.
It's not a actual dream.

[EDGAR] It all comes back
to Bertie, doesn't it?

[TONI] Oh, you're the one
who's always bringing her into it.

[EDGAR] No, you do, every time
you look at our daughter.

You need to stop
with all this q*eer talk.

[TONI] Look at me and
tell me that you don't

think that she could
turn into an invert?

Can you tell me that? No.
I've been through this.

I've been through it with my sister, and

I'm not gonna have my daughter do this.

And I need your support
on this right now, Edgar.

[EDGAR] What if your daughter
is an invert? What you gonna do?

[TONI] Oh, the first thing
she's gonna do...

[GRETA] Hear ye, hear ye.

If you want to slug like De Luca,
ya gotta kiss the arm of De Luca.

That's right. Step
right up! Step right up!

De Luca's famous arm open for kisses.



Okay, I don't know how to say
this, so I'm just gonna say this.

I think Jo is q*eer.
I think she's q*eer.

All right. [CLEARS
THROAT] Shirley, just listen...

[LUPE] Hey, Shaw.

- Hey.
- I need you.

- Okay. Give me one second, please.
- Yeah.

- Shirley.
- Yeah.

You can't tell anybody this, okay?

No one else can know this information.

Me and you are gonna
figure this out together, okay?

We'll figure it out together.

- Of course, together.
- Okay. Great.

- Yeah, we'll figure it out.
- Okay.

- She's q*eer, though.
- No, shh.

Okay. Yeah.

- We'll figure it out.
- Okay. Great.

- Hey. Hey.
- What's up with your face?

Nothing. I'm good. It's all good.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

- You look crazy.
- I feel good.

- Okay. Okay, so I have another idea.
- Okay.

I'm gonna start for Terri.

- Okay. I...
- What?

[CARSON] I just think this
is, like, a really big decision.

And I think Dove should be here.
Maybe we should wait until he's back.

Okay. So it's his call
when it's about me,

just not when it's about
everything else we're doing?

How are you around every
corner? We have it figured out.

- Doesn't sound like you do, Striker.
- Okay.

- Why is she the tiebreaker?
- She just walked up. I don't know.

I hate to say this, but no one is
going to choose you over Carson.


Let's play ball, girls.

- Why is that?
- Listen. Okay.

Lupe, just be patient, okay?

f*ck! f*ck!

Did that help?


Standing up for Shaw, huh?

Kinda reminds me how
you used to be with Dana.

You jealous, Joey?

No. I'm looking out for you.

Well, lay off.

I'm having fun. Not doing anything
wrong. And I'm following the rules.

[SCOFFS] Okay, bird.

You might be following the
rules, but you're not being careful.

Come on.



Sir, you told me to come out to
the field on Thursday, so here I am.

Come on. I was just
trying to be nice to you.

Control your girl, Gary!

Maxine, get out of here.

I don't know what
you think you're doing, but...

I will bet two weeks' worth
of wages that I can out-pitch

any man on this team.


Are you gonna kick her out or not?

Max. Don't.

Why? For you?

[COACH] Fine. Show me what you got.









I can do better.

Give her another one.


Okay. Okay. Come on. Come on.





You can keep this, kid.

[COACH] All right. That's
it. Let's go. Pick it back up.


Clance. I messed it up,
I messed it up so bad.

With the team.
I don't know what happened.

I practiced and I went
there and I was ready...

Wow. Max?

You really come here to talk
baseball to me tonight?

It's Guy's last night?

Oh, my God, Clance.
I'm so sorry. I forgot, I was...

I don't... I got wrapped up in...

You know, for a second, I thought...

I saw you at the door and I thought

maybe you came here to check in
on me, see how I was doing for once.


Yeah, it's fine, I just, I can't
talk baseball right now. Okay?

Oh, Clance...

Okay, baby. You need to get
your sh*t together. Now. So...

Come on, up.





What are you really afraid of?

I'm afraid of a lot of things.

Like what?

I'm afraid of losing my glasses.


You can say it.

Of dying.


- And losing you.
- Okay. Okay.

- I don't wanna go, baby.
- I know. I know, baby.

I don't know what I'm
gonna do without you, baby.




You were right. You are no Speed Jaxon.

But you're different.
You are... You are...

- Lieutenant Victory.

And he... You know what,
he is scared because

Speed Jaxon ain't got nothing to lose,

but Lieutenant Victory, he
has got this beautiful house

that he worked so hard for.

And his even more beautiful
wife that he loves. And...

You know what? Maybe, maybe...

Maybe that fear makes him stronger,
and, um, the more he has to lose,

the more stronger his electronic...

- kinetic blasts become.

And they blow that evil alien
overlord Zitler out of the water.

And he gets to come home.




- Like h*tler. But with a "Z."
- With a "Z." Got it.

He's gonna come home.

[ANNOUNCER] Let's see if the
Peaches can get out of this inning

without giving up any
more runs to the Blue Sox.

[PLAYER] There we go, Peaches!

[ANNOUNCER] Peaches operating today

without master strategist Dove Porter...

Where's Dove?

- assh*le.
- ...as they trail the Blue Sox by three

with one out in
the bottom of the seventh.

But with speedster Esti on first,

let's see if the Peaches
can start a rally.

No, don't. This one
knows how to hold them.

[ANNOUNCER] Gonzalez is stealing?

Oh, the Blue Sox cut her off at second.

Here we go.

Come on, come on, come on.

[ANNOUNCER] And the throw back
to second. She slides, but not in time.

Sloppy call there.

The Peaches are showing
their skin without Coach Porter.

We can't just keep doing the same sh*t.

Yeah, well, what's your idea?

I don't know. They're better than us.


rough day here in Rockford.

With the Spanish Striker
on the bench, it looks like

the Peaches have h*t a slump.

Oh! That's another base h*t
for the Blue Sox.

Peaches taking a moment.

I'm cooked.

I'm going in.

No, you're just gonna get hurt again.

Don't pretend to be worried about me.

- I'm worried about us.
- Hey, what's going on?

Hey, kick rocks.

- What is your problem, Striker?
- Shut the f*ck up, Gill.

- Everyone shut up!

Things, uh, getting a little heated now.

What could these hens be clucking about?

Okay, listen. I didn't ask
for this, but we have to...

Hey, I didn't ask to be bossed
around by a f*cking hick.

- [GRETA] Guys.
- I came to play baseball.

Oh, really? 'Cause it seems like you

signed to do jack sh*t for this team.

Oh, really? Because of you.

- Is she serious?
- Hey, I didn't do anything to you.

[GRETA] Oh, boy.

- f*ck'...
- Hey, guys!


You f*ck.

[ANNOUNCER] Oh! Oh, that's not...

Oh! Nice punch. Oh, boy.

These Peaches have traded
their mitts for boxing gloves.

That's gonna hurt.


Stop it! Enough!


Peaches forfeit.

You put not only yourselves,
but the entire league in jeopardy.

Oh, I am ashamed of you, Lupe.

Me? [SCOFFS] Oh, my... What about Shaw?

Well, at least Dove will be back soon

and then things will go back to normal.

Dove accepted a position
coaching for the Orioles.

Wait, what?

- Of course, he did.
- He's gone?

I am truly sorry, girls.

Until Mr. Baker can find
an appropriate substitute...


God help us.

[CARSON] I thought she was
starting to finally take us seriously.

[MAYBELLE] Well, what's gonna
happen now? What do we do now?


- Wait.
- What?

[CARSON] Can we just
go somewhere and talk?


We're home now. We're
not in our little room,

and absence makes
the heart grow stronger.

It's "fonder."

That too.



Hey, um...

What are you doing here?

We need to talk.

About what?

You asked me to forget about what I saw.

But it's still fresh in my mind.

So I need you to do something for me.

Okay. Yeah. Fine. Um...

- What do you need me to do?
- Not here.

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