06x27 - Hits and Missus/Return of Annabelle/Just Plain Folks Medicine/Caught in the Act/The Real Thing/Do Not Disturb/Lulu & Kenny (Country Music Jamboree): Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

I have to hand it to you,
Julie.

Everybody's real excited
about all these big stars

you booked
for this jamboree.

Well, sir, I thought

a little country music
would be fun.

Well, I'm sure it will be.

It's getting to be more
and more popular every day.

Well, in that case,

maybe we should start
the cruise tomorrow.

Well, sir, if I need a comic
for the lounge,

I'll be sure
and keep you in mind.

Hi.

Annabelle folker,
reporting for sea duty.

Relax, sailor.
Give the captain a hug.

Oh, Annabelle.
You know, we're really happy

you could be part
of this jamboree.

Part of it?
I thought I was it.

Well, there are
a few others.

Oh, speaking of others,

I'd like you to meet a real
important other in my life.

Captain stubing,
this is Ted myler.

-Captain.
-Mr. Myler.

Haven't I seen you on TV
on the pro golf tour?

Well, not unless they
had a camera in a sand trap.

We met at a pro celebrity
golf tournament.

This is our first chance
to be together in a long time.

Well, what with me
being on the road

and him being in a sand trap...

Well, relax
and enjoy yourselves.

If you want
a busman's holiday,

they have some beautiful
golf courses in acapulco.

Oh, I know.
I brought my clubs.

-Well, have a pleasant cruise.
-Thank you.

I'm sure we will.
-Bye.

[ Children laughing ]

Oh, mom!

Jamie, Kelly, Corey,
what are you kids doing here?

Did you run away again?

We want to go on a cruise
with you, mom.

-Yeah!
-Mom? Wait a -- wait.

Annabelle,
who are these children?

Well, they're --
they're sort of,

I mean,
they're kind of like mine.

Come on.
Show us the ship, mom!

-Yeah!
-The engine room.

Okay! Bye!

-Bye!
-Bye.

Bye.

Well, hi.
I'm Adam shipper, brick's doc--

I mean, Adam bricker,
ship's doctor.

Great way
to make an impression, huh?

Hi, I'm Cindy Lou.

And don't fret none.

You made a good impression
anyway.

Well, thank you.

If you'd like me to help
you check in, or whatever...

Oh, thank you.

But first,
I got to find my aunt effie.

Howdy!

I think I just found her.

Well, I see you made it,
Cindy Lou.

Yes, aunt effie.

This is Dr. Bricker.

How do you do,
Dr. Bricker?

-How are you, ma'am?
-Pleased to meet you.

We have a lot in common.
I'm a doctor, too.

Really? What kind of medicine
do you practice?

I don't practice, son.

I do it for real.

Here, try this --
aunt effie's elixir of life.

Good for what ails you
or fails you.

-Thank you.
-No charge.

Professional courtesy,
one doctor to another.

Down the hallway
and to the right.

-Enjoy your cruise.
-Bye.

Hello, welcome aboard,
I'm Julie McCoy, your...

Cruise director.
Captain. Purser.

-Amazing, you're % right.
-I always am.

Bullard, Henry bullard.
-Yeah.

Mr. Bullard, you're in...

Promenade .

Right again, Mr. Bullard.

Of course.
He needs a haircut.

-Where are you going, gopher?
-To get a haircut.

There you are, Mr. Bullard.
Enjoy your cruise.

Oh, thank you.

-Hello, can we check in here?
-Hello.

"May we," not "can we."

Right. Uh, may we check in here
and can he be excused?

My apologies for Mr. Bullard.
I'm captain stubing.

How do you do, captain?
I'm bill Davis.

This is my wife, Jeannie.
-Welcome aboard.

Hello.
Thank you.

Davises...honeymoon suite,
I see.

Second honeymoon.

You see, bill and I
were separated for awhile.

-Oh...
-Oh, no, no, no.

Not that kind of separated.

I was away
on an oil rig platform

in the north sea for a year.

I certainly counted the days
till I get back this lady.

-Well, welcome home.
-Thank you.

I'd invite you to dine
at my table tonight,

but I suspect
you'll enjoy being alone.

I'd enjoy being anywhere as long
as Mr. Bullard is not there.

-Well, have fun.
-Thank you.

-Thanks.
-Bye-bye.

All right.
The aloha deck

is, uh, two decks below.

And you can use that elevator,
miss Dixon.

Oh, Lulu.

All right, Lulu.
And there's some brochures...

Remember me?
I'm Kenny creek.

Uh, you checked me in
outside.

Oh, excuse me.
I didn't see you.

Oh, I like him already.

I forgot to ask, uh,
what time do they serve dinner?

Well, there's an early sitting
and a late sitting.

Well, good.
I'll take both.

Now, there's a man
after my own heart.

-You'll excuse me.
-Sure.

Uh, do you mind
if I walk you to your cabin?

Oh, but I don't know
where it is.

You'll have to show me.

Well, good,
that'll just take longer.

Maybe on the way, uh, we
can stroll through the galley.

Oh, yes.

Hey, Isaac.

Has c.G. Thomas
come onboard yet?

-Who?
-C.g. Thomas,

the greatest country singer
of all time.

Ha! To you, of all time means
a week and a half.

And the greatest country singer
of all time

is Holly hartman.

But c.G. Thomas has had
the top country album

for four months.

Big deal, Holly hartman
has gold records,

all written
by her husband, Danny.

Well, they must've been
before I was born.

Everything was
before you were born.

There they are!

Excuse me.
Thank you.

Miss hartman, would you

autograph your album
for me, please?

Well, sure I will,
if you call me Holly.

Okay, thank you, Holly.

Uh, "to Isaac,

my very, very, very,
very best friend."

My pleasure.

How about an autograph,
Danny?

Sure.
I'd be happy.

If I ever write
a hit song again,

maybe it'll be
worth something.

Aw, come on, honey.

You're still the best songwriter
in the business.

Now, you just stay here
and listen to my best friend

Isaac tell you
how good you really are.

I'll find the cabin
and get us settled in.

Danny, do you write songs
for any other singers

besides your wife?

No, Isaac.
I am a one-woman man.

Hey, great. Me too.

Mr. Hartman,
do you know c.G. Thomas?

Yes, I do,
as a matter of fact, uh,

she used to be one of the backup
singers to my wife.

Oh.

Haven't seen her
in years, though.

Well, there she is!

Miss Thomas,
would you sign my album?

Oh, sure.

To Vicki?
-Yes.

This is my favorite album.

I listen to it
all the time.

It's practically worn out.

Well, that's my favorite song
right there.

-Well, that's sweet.
-Oh, thank you.

It's got a great b*at.
-Thank you, Vicki.

-Thank you very much.
-Bye.

-Hi, c.G.
-Hey, Danny.

I just heard
your latest single.

Think you got yourself
another winner.

You old show-off,

you're just saying that
because you wrote it for me.

Excuse me,
young man, could you --

[ gasps ] Dottie west!

Shh.

I'm sorry, but I'd rather
no one knows I'm here.

You see, I'm on this cruise
for a complete rest.

-Yeah, but this cruise --
-now, hon, look.

I've been on a -week tour
of one-nighters.

Now, that's days in a hotel,
days of work.

And believe me,
all I want to do

is go to sleep and leave
a wake-up call for Christmas.

You mean you're not part

of the country music jamboree?
-Oh, no.

The last thing I want to
do on this cruise is work.

Me too.

Uh, when does
the next ship leave?

We're it for a week.

Ooh. Okay,
you're not gonna tell anybody

I'm aboard, okay?
-Okay.

Um, could you show me
to my cabin, please?

Oh, yeah.
That's just right

through those doors back there
and around your right.

-Ah, thank you.
-You bet.

Uh, miss west, um,

I would just really love

to have my picture taken
with you.

Um, you're not gonna tell
anybody I'm here, right?

Then who's gonna
hold the camera?

[ Air horn blows ]

Now stand by.

Oh, that's just fine.

Thanks a lot.

Annabelle, uh, when I
arranged for connecting cabins,

i didn't expect to be next
door to a slumber party.

Oh, Ted.
Please try to understand.

Jamie, Kelly and Corey,

well, they've kind of
latched on to me

like I'm their real mother.

But you're not.

I know that.

But I still
feel responsible for 'em.

Well, after all,
their moms and dads

were all from my hometown.

Annabelle, maybe you feel
more guilty than responsible.

I do not feel guilty.

Why, I know it wasn't my fault
that the plane crashed.

But they were on their way

to see me in my last concert
of the year.

Yes, I understand that,
darling.

But I thought this cruise
was for us.

Oh, Ted, it'll be fine.

Why,
I thought you like kids.

Oh, I do.
I do.

In fact, I thought maybe
we could use the cruise

to review
that instruction manual

on, uh, how to make something
like that happen.

As a singer, I've found out

that it never hurts
to practice.

-Mom, go swimming!
-It's so fun!

[ All talking at once ]

Go ahead,
go ahead, go ahead.

I'll stay here and design
a new golf course

for adults only.

Oh, it makes me crazy
to see a woman

running around
looking like that.

Me too.

How's she ever gonna get a fella
with that scrawny body?

Sit down?

Yeah, I'd love to.

You been jogging?

No, I just run down
for some lunch.

Oh.

You know,
I was gonna take a swim.

Then I seen that kid
back there with a harpoon.

Oh.

-Boy, that's lovely.
-Mm.

I like the way
they serve that.

Would you like some?

Yeah, I believe I will.

Fantastic.

Look at that.
Oh, goody.

Ooh, that's good.
Mm.

You know what?

They ought to serve a drink
in them things.

Aunt effie: Here you go.

Aunt effie's elixir of life --
it'll fix you up.

I'm telling you, it's got
different herbs, roots,

plants
from a secret family recipe

handed down from generations.

Adam, one doctor
aboard is enough.

Take care of that,
will you?

Right.

And let me tell you right now,

it's the best thing
in the world for...

Uh, Cindy Lou?

Uh, I don't believe
your aunt effie has, uh...

Oh, aunt effie sure has a gift
for helping people.

She's
a natural-born healer.

Why, back home, people think
that she can work miracles.

There you go.

Well, back home they may call
it "working miracles,"

but, uh, here we call it

"practicing medicine
without a license."

There you are, little lady.

And that's all.
We're fresh out.

But gimme a couple of days
and I'll mix up another batch

and everybody'll have some.

Howdy, Dr. Bricker!

Uh, Mrs. Scaggs,
about your elixir...

Oh...ah, sorry,
I don't give no recipes.

See, there, Cindy Lou?

Just a couple of hours ago,

I give him a bottle of elixir
and he looks --

he looks fitter already.

Uh, Mrs. Scaggs,
what I'd like to try to...

A couple of more bottles

and you won't need
them glasses anymore.

See there?
It's wonderful.

Now, don't you worry,
honey.

As soon
as I come out of my slump,

I'm gonna write you a song,
a winner,

and you're gonna be
right back on the top again.

Well, as long as I got you,
I am on the top.

And anyway, you have been
writing good songs.

Not just good songs,
great songs.

Well,
they haven't been, uh --

uh -- uh -- uh,
selling great.

Maybe the public's getting
tired of my singing.

Don't you ever,
ever, ever say that again.

Your fans,
they love your singing.

And I do, too.

Hey, are -- are you --
are you sure that you don't want

to go up on the deck
with me and get some sun?

No thanks, honey.
You go on.

Okay.
I'll see you later.

By the way,
I hear c.G. Thomas is onboard.

No kidding.

Haven't seen her...
Since she went out on her own.

Well, she's sure been doing
all right for herself,

big hit record
and everything.

I wonder
who that judd Thornton is

who's writing all her songs.

I never heard of him before.

Hey, listen.
I didn't want to tell you this,

but, uh, I have been
working on a little, uh --

uh -- uh, song for you that I
was gonna surprise you with.

I love you, Danny.

I love you, too.

I'll see you later.

Oh, Mr. Hartman!

Can I please have
your autograph?

-Sure.
-Here you go.

You're lucky.

I write a whole lot, uh --
uh, faster than I talk.

Thanks.

"Changes."

♪ Changes ♪

♪ I'm gonna have to make
some changes ♪

♪ now that I know
what your game... ♪

What a nice surprise.

Danny, you are the best.

You know how much I've missed
you in this last year?

Hasn't been easy
for me either.

Here you are, folks.

You know, it's been said

that I make
the greatest Margarita

this side of the equator.

And I know it's been said
because I said it.

Thanks, Isaac.

Well, here's to our past,
present and future.

Let's forget about the past.

Here's to our present
and future.

Beautiful.

Well?

-Perfect.
-The best.

Ugh! This is the worst Margarita
I've ever tasted.

You didn't make this yourself,
did you, Isaac?

I'm afraid I did,
Mr. Bullard.

Well,
can I come back there

and show you
how it's really done?

That's
"may I come back there."

Thanks a lot, Isaac.
-Yeah.

Thanks for the delicious
margaritas.

You see, Isaac,

everybody starts
with the same ingredients

to mix a Margarita,

just as Shakespeare
started with the same words

as any other writer.

It's what the artist
does with the material

that makes the difference.

Ah, well, you want a job?

We could pool the tips.

Oh, no, no, no.

My own business
keeps me busy enough.

What do you do?

I'm a jeweler.

Not just plain jewelry...

I mean the classy stuff.

Mm, I guess it does
keep you busy.

Well, actually,
my jewelry and my clientele,

i only have to keep busy
about one day a year.

Here you are.
Try that.

Don't give up
that one day a year.

♪♪

Danny,
don't be so nervous.

So what if Holly
sees us together?

Well, she knows
we know each other.

Yeah, but she doesn't know
I'm judd Thornton,

who wrote a big hit for you
instead of for her.

Well, what she don't know
won't hurt her.

Well,
I hope you're right.

Boy, I sure do love
that new song you wrote for me,

"changes."

It's so beautiful.

Well,
I'm glad you like it.

But the next song
that I write is for Holly.

I do love her, you know.

Well, of course.

But you've been writing
all your best songs for me.

So you just
must adore me.

Now, I want the three
of you to enjoy yourselves.

But remember, I spoke

to Mrs. Whitaker
at the orphanage,

and I promised her
that you'd be back there

the minute
the cruise is over.

Boo.

Why can't
we live with you?

Yeah, we want
to live with you.

Why can't we?

I wish you could,
but, well, I'm a singer.

I -- I live on the road.

Don't you get run over a lot?

I mean, I travel a lot.

Why don't you kids
run along, take your swim?

You two
look after Corey.

And remember,
only in the wading pool.

Okay.

[ Laughter ]

-Hi.
-Hi.

He's the reason she doesn't
want us to live with her.

We'd be in the way.

Want me to go
sock him in the nose?

You couldn't reach his nose
even if you stood on a table.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt if she
really saw him lose his temper.

Huh?

Excuse me!
I'm sorry!

Sorry.

Nicely done.

Guys,
you've got to help me.

I've got so many big stars
for the jamboree,

i don't know which one
to put in the opening act.

You can't use any of 'em
in the opening.

A star
never opens the show.

I know that, Isaac.

That's why
I have a problem.

Julie, relax.
Okay?

I know of a couple of people

who just might be a great opener
right here on the ship.

Maybe I could talk to them.

You do?
Who are they?

Well, I'll just have
our people call their people.

And then, we'll see.

Oh, great. But hurry.
I'm desperate.

Who's this opening act?

Want to know who it is,
partner?

You and me.

♪♪

Well, what do you think?

How about wow?

You don't look bad
for an old married man yourself.

Thank you.

To be continued
after.

Do you like these?

Well, they're okay.

But not wow?

Not wow.

I haven't seen
this one before.

Oh, that?
Oh, it's nothing.

-No, really.
-Well, no.

-Let me see.
-What?

I think it's very pretty.

But it's just some costume
jewelry I picked up for $

while you were away.

Well, on you,
that looks like a million bucks.

Well, come on, gopher.

We got to hurry up
and change for dinner.

Oh, will you relax?
This will take a second.

Okay.

Dottie: Who is it?

It's me, miss west.
Burl Smith.

Remember, you said I could have
my picture taken with you?

Oh, yeah.
Um, do we have to do it now?

Well, I,
uh, took off from work

especially
to have this time.

I see.

Uh, really,
couldn't we wait till tomorrow?

Oh, all I need
is one smile.

Please?

Well, all right.

Okay, just one smile, though.

Thank you.
Get ready.

All set.

Take the picture,
I'm smiling.

Aah!

Got it!

See you later.

How many copies?

We'll have some dinner,
a little dancing

and then right to bed,
huh?

Does it have to be
in that order?

Good evening.

-Mr. Bullard.
-How are you?

Enjoying the cruise?

-Oh, very much, thank you.
-Just fine.

Oh, I must compliment you
on your superb taste.

Oh, in husbands.
Right.

No, in jewelry.

That pin,
it's exquisite.

Oh, it's just...

Magnificent.

And you're talking
to a man

who's been appraising jewels
for years.

I don't know
your line of work,

but you're doing
something right.

Well, you really
made an impression on him.

And you thought
this was too tacky, huh?

Well, I didn't say
it was tacky.

I said it was
an expensive imitation.

Nothing's an imitation
when you wear it.

You make everything very real,
especially my love for you.

[ Indistinct conversations,
soft music plays ]

Well, then what happened,
aunt effie?

Well, that preacher
took to my muskrat oil

like a possum
to a turnip patch.

He was up and around
in two days.

'Course, from then on,

we couldn't keep the muskrats
off of him,

especially during mating season.

[ Laughter ]

You know,
I've been doing some reading

about folk medicine.

Seems it's an idea
that's coming back.

I hear that some of those
old folk cures really work.

Well, they may have
some merit.

But they're no match

for the advances
of modern medicine.

The biggest advance in modern
medicine is the adding machine,

so the doctors can make out
them big bills.

[ Laughter ]

She's a funnier doctor
than you are.

Oh, hi, y'all.

Hi, c.G.

How's my idol?

Your idol wishes

she was selling
as many records as you are.

Just beginner's luck.

And how've you been, Danny?

Oh, I'm okay.
How've you been?

Oh, I'm doing okay,
can't complain.

-Will you join us?
-Oh, no.

I can't.
I got to get my music together.

I'm singing tonight.
-Oh.

Hey,
you got any new songs

by that mystery songwriter
of yours, judd Thornton?

Well, as a matter of fact,

I'm gonna be singing a new
judd Thornton song tonight.

Great!
You know something, c.G.?

I know almost
every songwriter there is,

and I never heard
of judd Thornton.

You got him locked up
in a closet someplace,

so the rest of us country girls
can't get at him?

Now, Holly, don't be greedy

'cause you married
the best one there is.

Bye, y'all.

She's right.

I did marry the best one.

To us.

To us.

You know, the children
could've had dinner with us,

just as long

as we spend the rest
of the evening by ourselves.

Well, I wanted 'em to,

but they didn't want
to bother us.

Well,
that's very considerate.

Don't look at them.
Okay, Corey.

Now you grab two handfuls
of mashed potatoes.

You ready?
-Ready.

Good luck.

Go!

Corey!
Anything wrong?

Jamie said I have
to eat my mashed potatoes.

-Oh.
-Do I have to?

Well...

I always loved
mashed potatoes.

Corey!

Corey, you bad boy!

You got mashed potatoes
over poor Mr. Myler.

No, it's all right.
Really, it's -- it's nothing.

-Oh, let us help you, Mr. Myler.
-Oh, no, no, I'm fine.

Oh, no!

Oh, kids, just what are you --
oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, mom.

Here's to us.

Go right back there
and sit down.

Go on, Corey.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ted.

Oh, it's nothing.
Just fine.

Oh, look here...

Oh...

Dessert?

Uh -- uh, yeah, I'll have one
of those right there.

Oh, nummy, nummy.

Sir?

I believe -- I believe
I'll start with this one.

Eat that strawberry one
next.

Oh, okay.

Captain, I really enjoyed that
trip to the bridge with you.

Well, aunt effie, tomorrow,
if you like, I can...

[ Hiccups ]

Excuse me.

You're excused.

[ Hiccups ]

You're excused, too.

[ Hiccups ]

Excuse me.

What is this?

Well, I thought
I'd give you all a treat.

Before dinner,
I went out in the kitchen

and poured some of aunt effie's
spring tonic in the soup.

You mean that we're gonna be
[Hiccups] until spring?

Mrs. Scaggs, this ship
has very stro...[Hiccups]

Health regulations,
and...[Hiccups]

Oh, aunt effie, you really
oughtn't to have done that.

[ Hiccups ]

There's nothing in there
that can hurt you.

It's all-natural. Besides,
hiccups is good for you.

Doc: How?

Oh, think how good
you'll feel when they stop!

[ All hiccuping ]

Ladies and gentlemen, won't
you join us on the lido deck

for a lavish buffet and dancing
under the starry skies,

followed by our show tonight

starring
the fabulous c.G. Thomas.

[ Slow jazz music plays ]

Ah, I can't believe it.

I finally did it.

I got you all to myself.

Oh, honey.
I'm sorry it took so long.

But by the time I got them kids
in their pajamas,

and got their teeth brushed
and their prayers prayed, well,

it seemed to me like it was
almost time to get 'em up again.

It's all right, sweetheart.

You were definitely worth
the wait.

Okay, Corey.
Remember what he told you?

You just start running
and crying,

and let me do the talking.

Go ahead.

[ Crying ]

-Oh, Corey, darling...
-Oh, no.

What's the matter?

He had a nightmare.

A real bad
nightmare.

It had snakes and spiders
and ghosts and monsters.

Oh, honey.
It's all right.

I'm here now.
Oh, Ted.

I'm gonna have to
put him back to bed.

Annabelle,
this is getting ridiculous.

Oh, don't be mad.

It'll only take a minute.

Oh, sweetheart.

Come on, kids.

You know, at home,
we never dance this close...

Oh, I'm sorry.

-We dance closer.
-Oh!

Ooh, it's hotter out here
than a tar road in Tennessee.

Huh, well,
I don't think so.

Well, maybe it's me.

If you don't mind,

i think I'll just mosey
around the deck for a spell,

before I put this pretty body
to bed.

I think this music

and excitement's sort
of gotten to me.

Well, if there's anything
you need, just let me know.

Oh,
don't worry about me.

I'm fit as a fiddle.

Except, you know,
even a fiddle

gets out of tune
once and again.

You know, Isaac,
there's no rule

that says the opening act
has to be a musical.

We ought to do
what we do best.

You mean give up?

No!

You, my friend,
are a funny guy.

You ought to tell jokes.

Yeah!

Hi, guys.
What's up?

-What's up?
-Hey, what's up?

Listen...um, Vicki,

did you hear the one
about the drunk

who put a dime
in the parking meter?

And when the dial went to ,
he said...

"Well, what do you know?
I weigh an hour."

Maybe she's too young
for that joke.

I'm not too young.
That joke's too old.

Well, you better
start laughing

because we're gonna be
the opening act tomorrow night.

Now, that's funny.

♪♪

[ Upbeat jazz music plays ]

Well, how's the second honeymoon
coming along?

Perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

-Oh, captain...
-Yes.

I'd like to tell you
what a fine ship you have here.

-Why, thank you.
-I'd like to, but I can't.

I was just up
on the lido deck.

You call that music?

Well, most of our passengers
seem to be enjoying it.

Don't mind Mr. Bullard, captain.
He's been wrong before.

You see this pin
my wife's wearing?

Mm-hmm.

He said it's worth
a lot of money,

and she paid $
for it.

Bill, please...

Look, I know a genuine article
when I see one.

Now, that pin is worth easy,
easy $,.

$,.

Would you like to bet $
on that?

No, I wouldn't.
I'd like to bet $,.

$, says
it's the genuine article.

-Darling, this is silly.
-You're on.

-Bill!
-Okay.

Henry:
When we get to acapulco,

I'll call
an appraiser friend of mine.

I'll borrow a loop.
-A loop?

A jeweler's lens.

Then I'll tell you
exactly how much it's worth.

Mr. Bullard,
I don't think it's fair

that you'd be judge and jury.
-Oh, well, in that case,

uh, what about the man
who appraised the hope diamond?

Will he do?
-He'll be just fine.

Okay.
His name is Max Esteban.

He lives in acapulco.

Captain, would you mind
putting that pin in your safe

so they won't switch pins
on me?

Oh, I'll just hold on
to it.

No, honey.
Just give it to the captain.

Let him put it in his safe.

It may be the only $ Jewel
he has in there.

Thank you.

Now, you be careful
with that, captain.

It's a bet?

It's a bet.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Uh, captain,
may I speak with you?

As a friend, your uniform
doesn't quite fit so well.

Why don't you have your clothes
custom-made, like I do?

Julie:
Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight is the first night
of our jamboree.

And I'm proud to introduce one

of the most exciting new voices
in country music.

Please welcome miss c.G. Thomas.

[ Applause ]

Thank you very much.

Before I sing for you,

I'd like to introduce
two great country legends.

And they're here
in our audience tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen,

miss Holly hartman
and her husband, Danny hartman.

You know,
when you have a hit record,

as I've been
lucky enough to have,

thanks to a great songwriter,
judd Thornton,

it seems like people want you
to do it over and over again,

everywhere you go.

Well, I'd like to do
something special tonight.

It's a new judd Thornton song.

It's called "changes."

♪ Neither one of us
will ever change ♪

♪ we're both the same ♪

♪ and that's a shame ♪

♪ 'cause when we were together,
it was right ♪

♪ we had it all ♪

♪ you and I ♪

♪ you're not changing me ♪

♪ and I'm not changing you ♪

♪ the only change
is what we're going through ♪

♪ you took the part of me ♪

♪ that I was proudest of ♪

♪ now you say that's the part
that you can't love ♪

♪ changes ♪

♪ I'm gonna have to make
some changes ♪

♪ now that I know
what your game is ♪

♪ I know that
I would only lose ♪

♪ no matter what I do, hey ♪

♪ and the first change
that I make ♪

♪ is gonna be you ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ changes ♪

♪ I'm gonna have to make
some changes ♪

♪ now that I know
what your game is ♪

♪ I know that
I would only lose ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ somehow I'll get over you ♪

That was a very beautiful song
you wrote,

judd Thornton.

Ted? Oh, Ted.
I just...

Annabelle, I have got something
very important I want to say.

Listen.

I always believe
when you're mad,

you should kiss
and make up first.

And then see if you can remember
what you were mad about.

Annabelle,
do you have any idea

what it's like
on the pro golf tour,

the incredible pressure that
I am under every single day?

Annabelle, I need
this rest with you.

And I'm never gonna
get a rest

as long as those kids
are around.

Well, let me talk to 'em,

try to calm 'em down
a little.

Honey, they're children.

They're acting the way
they're supposed to act,

like children.

It's just
that it happens to be

the wrong time
and the wrong place.

Oh, Ted. They're having
such a good time.

And they've had so few
good times in their lives.

I know.
I know.

And I don't want to sound
like Simon legree,

but why don't you
put 'em on a plane

when we get to acapulco and send
'em back to Mrs. Whitaker?

I couldn't do that.

Then maybe I ought to fly home
from acapulco.

It's one or the other.

Why don't you sleep
on it?

Good night, sweetheart.

How's a body to sleep on it when
a body's too upset to sleep?

Just think, the money
we win on this bet's

gonna help pay
for this trip.

Bill, call off
the bet...For me.

Oh, no way.
Not on a sure thing.

You know what
your problem is, honey?

You're just a little softy.
Bullard deserves it.

I mean,
he's got a big mouth.

But it's all
so ridiculous.

He just made
a small mistake.

Honey, in this world,

I've learned that you have
to pay for your mistakes.

Where have you been?
I looked all over the ship.

I was worried.

Did you think
I had jumped overboard?

I only sing songs
about ladies who jump overboard.

I don't actually
jump overboard myself.

Honey, I was gonna deny to you
that I was judd Thornton

until hell freezes over.

But I love you too much
to lie to you.

Or to lie to you anymore,
that is.

It's pretty hard to lie

when the song
falls out of your jacket.

And I thought this was
the surprise

you were writing for me.

How...

Don't even try to explain
why you did it.

I can't even explain
to myself.

Well, I bet you can't.

Here.
Here, Danny.

You might want to write
another song for c.G.

Danny,
when hell freezes over,

make sure you're wearing
a warm sweater

and some good,
heavy socks.

My aunt effie says that,

if you like somebody, you
shouldn't b*at around the bush.

You should come right out
and tell 'em.

Well, for once,
I can't fault your aunt effie.

You know, I have
an aunt Margaret

who's always saying
something, too.

She says,
if you want to kiss someone,

you shouldn't just
b*at around the bush.

You should just come right out
and do it.

We come
from very wise families.

Doc!
Cindy Lou!

You better come quick.
Aunt effie's kind of sick.

Well, where is she?

Dad and I took her
to her cabin.

Let's go.

Oh, aunt effie,
are you all right?

Oh, I'm okay, darling,
just a tad under the weather.

'Course, sometimes,
the weather can be a tornado.

Now, what seems to be
the problem, aunt effie?

I thank you to keep your hands
to yourself.

I do my own doctoring.

But, aunt effie, Dr. Bricker
can make you feel better.

He can't doctor me
without my permission.

And he ain't got
my permission.

Now, scat!

Well, you seem to be
running a fever.

Big deal.

Had fevers a long time
'fore we had doctors.

Now, vamoose.
Get out.

All of you.

-Feel better, aunt effie.
-Thank you.

Well, uh,
I'll check with you later.

Cindy Lou,
close that porthole.

It's freezing in here.

But the porthole
is closed.

Well, then, open it.

It's hot in here, too.

Oh, ain't this so nice?

All those stars
and the ocean breeze...

Look at that moon.

Does that -- does that moon
give you any ideas?

I'll say it does.

Are -- are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I hope so. Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I bet I am.

-Good!
-Yeah!

-Let's eat!
-Let's eat!

♪♪

Hi, Kenny.
Hi, Lulu.

Hey, Lulu, Kenny.

-Hi, y'all.
-What are you guys doing?

We're having
a midnight snack.

Midnight?
It's only :.

Yeah, this is yesterday's
midnight snack.

We ain't finished yet.

We better eat fast.

We don't want to be late
for the next one.

Hey, what's going on?

What are you people
doing in my galley?

I don't come
over to your purser's lobby.

I don't come to your bar.

Well,
you came to me once.

Yeah, I would've done better
with a witch doctor.

Oh, clean this up,
now, will you?

Oh, don't worry.

When you get back, ain't none
of this gonna be here.

That's right.

Ain't he a bundle of fun?

You're lucky.
He was in a good mood tonight.

Mm.

Hey, guys. We got to come up
with an opening act for Julie.

I know.
Got to think of something.

We have been thinking.

Well, we'd better
think a little harder.

[ Tapping rhythmically ]

[ Scraping rhythmically ]

[ "You are my sunshine" plays ]

-All right!
-Yay!

Hey, we got something here!

Julie,
we got your opening act.

Thank you!
Gopher's told me all about you.

We are so...

Not them.
Us.