08x15 - Santa, Santa, Santa/Another Dog Gone Christmas/Noel's Christmas Carol

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Pardon me, young ladies

-hi.
-Hi.

I'm Leslie Campbell.

Ah, yes.

Mr. Campbell,

you're in cabin
on the fiesta deck.

Right.

Oh, those are sure
lovely flowers.

Lovely flowers
for the equally lovely

Ms. Shelley sommers.

At least,
I hope she'll be lovely.

You mean you've never
seen her before?

Not really.

You see,
we were matched up

by one of those computer
dating services.

[ Both chuckle ]

If my dear wife
were alive,

she'd be having
herself a good laugh.

[ Both chuckle ]

By the way, has Ms. Sommers
checked in yet?

Let's see.

Nope. Not yet.

Well, thank you.

I'll just hang around
and wait.

Oh, well,
enjoy your cruise.

Thanks.

This must be the place

where guys with flowers
line up.

[ Laughs ] No, no.

I'm just waiting
for somebody.

If you want to check in,

those two ladies over there
can take care of you.

Thank you.

Uh, how much
did that cost?

$ .

Got a better deal
than I did.

Oh, some lady's
in for a pleasant surprise.

If you are
Ms. Shelley sommers,

they're all yours.

Mm. I wish I were.

Even without the flowers.

All checked in?

Yeah.

Well, that was fast.

Oh.
I'm Leslie Campbell.

Yeah.
They already told me.

I'm shelley sommers.

What?

You're kidding.

What would you like to see,
my driver's license,

the name tape on my shorts?

I guess
that computer goofed.

Yes.

This definitely is not love
at first sight.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Thank you. Aha.

Looks like we've got
a pretty good-looking group

this cruise, eh?

It sure does.

And it's getting better looking
all the time.

Hey, gopher. How do I look?
Is my mustache even?

Yeah.

Your lips are crooked.

Uh, excuse me.
May I get a picture?

I'm the ship's
photographer.

Oh, be my guest.

Great.
Thank you very much.

Oh [ Laughs ]

Thank you.

[ Laughs ]

Hi, uh, welcome aboard.
I'm Isaac Washington.

Oh, hi.
I'm Lynda miles.

Pretty name
for such a pretty lady.

Oh.

Uh,
this is gopher Smith.

Hi.
Have a fantastic cruise.

Well, thank you.

And this is ace Evans.

A pleasure to meet you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, how wonderful of all of you
to extend yourselves to me.

-Oh.
-Oh.

Ah.

-Oh.
-Oh. [ Laughs ]

You could be
instructors of bos.

Bos?

Yes.

Being of self.

Oh, it's the ultimate
in personal awareness.

Oh, you mean one of those
self-help philosophies?

Oh,
the self-help philosophy.

Bos believes
that only through total honesty,

one can express one's self
to its truest form,

and thus find
fulfillment and happiness.

Here. This book will help
to enlighten you.

Oh, uh, thank you,

but we're not allowed
to read on duty.

Oh.

Well, then check it out
in your spare time.

Thank you.
We'd love to.

Oh, excellent.

Well, oh, it's been so wonderful
sharing myself with you.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Sniffles ]

Excuse me, miss.

May we help you?

It's very kind of you
to take an interest,

but nothing can help me now.

I'm just gonna
have to resign myself

to being an old maid,
that's all.

Well, you don't look
very old to me.

tomorrow.

Oh. Get out
the old rocking chair.

I have waited
for Robert Edward allston

since I was years old.

I've been engaged to him
since I was .

I was hoping he'd come with me
on this cruise.

But if he thinks I'm gonna
spend another birthday

watching TV
and pining for him

till he gets himself
good and ready,

he can just bite a bug.

Excuse me.

A box this size
should go in the hold.

Sorry, sir.
It's for a passenger,

a miss emelyne namackere.

Oh.

I'm emelyne namackere.

Well, I see
you don't travel light.

So thank you very much,
gentlemen.

What on earth
could this be?

Oh, perhaps
this will explain.

"Have the time of your life,
my treat, Robert."

He hasn't forgotten.

I wonder what he sent.

Happy birthday.

I'm Neil. I'm your
birthday present from Robert.

Robert sent you another man
as a present?

What kind of a guy
is he?

As of yesterday,
a married one.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪

Will you please
stop following me?

I'm your gift.

My orders are to follow you
wherever you go.

Well, I hope you come
with a money-back guarantee

because I don't want you.

Who did Robert marry?

Uh, Carol Ann josephson.

You're lying.
She's my best friend.

[ Scoffs ]
He knew you'd be upset.

That's why he sent
a replacement.

Well, you can tell him

I'm returning the merchandise
unused.

♪♪

Hi. May I?

Suit yourself.

Well, I must say
you're the most...

Unusual blind date
I've ever had.

You're not exactly Bo Derek
yourself.

To think that I blew

a good chunk
of my retirement pay

to end up with you.

Look, I spent my hard-earned
pension money for this trip.

But I'm not gonna
sit around here and sulk.

I'll bet there
are plenty of interesting women

on this ship.

And I suppose you're gonna
find one just like that?

Why not?
I met a very attractive woman

when I was boarding.

Perhaps
I can find her again.

Nothing comes
to the man who waits.

Hi, Mr. Sommers.

I thought you might like
to meet someone.

Joan philipps,
this is shelley sommers.

Delighted to meet you,
shelley.

Uh, yes.

Uh, would you like
to have a seat?

Thank you.

Oh, if you see
Leslie Campbell,

tell him "great things come
to a man who waits."

[ Laughs ]

-Bye-bye.
-Uh-huh.

[ Snaps fingers ]

Well...

♪♪

Hi.

I think I got it
figured out.

I'll just bet
you were Carol Ann's idea.

It would be just like her

to think of
something like you.

Robert is not cruel.

That's true.

Robert didn't send me.

He wasn't even going to tell you
that he got married.

Actually, he's a nice guy.

He just lacks guts.

Well, thank you Carol Ann
for nothing.

Carol Ann didn't send me.

She didn't?

Just whose bright idea
were you?

I was my idea.

Yours?

Yeah.

See, I've been
wanting to meet you

ever since I first
saw pictures of you.

Where'd you ever see
pictures of me?

When Robert kept them
pasted up in his locker.

We work together.

You mean, you saw pictures of me
in his locker?
Yeah.

And you took it upon yourself

to send yourself to me
as a gift?

Yeah.

Did I look so poorly,
so in dire need?

Well, you could just
put a stamp on yourself

and send yourself
right back.

Aw, emelyne.

Look at all the money
that I've spent

and the trouble
that I've taken.

It wasn't easy
finding a box that big,

or two guys
to carry it up.

Look, you can always
throw me out.

But why not give me a chance
first?

Kind of a trial-basis,
huh?

And you won't be
disappointed.

But I got to warn you.
I don't do things.

So if you think
I'd do things...

What things
don't you do?

You know. Things.

Do you swim?

Of course I do that.

Well, it's a start.

You're a devil,
you know that?

Oh, Isaac.
That's beautiful.

So creative.

Oh.

You must be
a sensitive man.

Oh, thanks.

You know, Lynda,
I only had a chance

to glance
at that book you gave us,

"being of self."

And I'm not sure
I really understood it.

Oh, bos is really
very simple.

Basically,
each of us has two faces --

one inside we hide

and one outside that we put on
for others to see.

And the one inside is the one
we should show everyone.

You're very bright, Isaac.

Keep reading the book.

Hi, Lynda.

Oh, hi, gopher.

Oh, your friend Isaac
is truly a beautiful person.

♪♪

Knights and ladies,

please join us
to a special banquet

of beef Wellington,
Yorkshire pudding,

Sherry trifle, fine ales,
and a jolly good time

as our coral dining room
presents British night.

Vicki:
Dad, do you think it's fattening

to order beef Wellington,
popovers, and Sherry trifle?

Merrill: No.
Ordering's not the fattening.

It's eating part
that gets you.

[ Laughter ]

Excuse me,
captain stubing.

Yes.

Lynda:
The harmonious aura

that emanates from you
and pervades this entire ship

is truly a thing of beauty.

Thank you.

Merrill, she took the words
right out of my mouth.

Who was that?

Once, after a fight,

I gave Robert
his engagement ring back.

He pleaded,
but I told him I was through

sitting around
in that one-horse-town

waiting until he got
a promotion.

I said "maybe somebody else

would appreciate
what I have to offer."

Well, I do.

And so do the guys
at the plant.

You mean I was a topic
for leering conversation?

That picture, it looks like
you don't have anything on.

It was a low-cut dress.

[ Chuckles ] It sure was.

I wish our dinners
would get here.
I'm hungry.

So am I.

My dear lady,

if only you knew
the countless hours I have spent

trying to track you down.

Oh, did you?

Yes.

And all
for the single purpose

of asking you
to be my dinner companion.

May I?

Oh.

I already have
a dinner date.

Oh, well.

My loss.

Wait a minute.

He's about minutes late.

What if I'm being stood up?

Then it would be a shame
for you to leave.

My sentiments exactly.

What kind of a fool

could ever stand up
a lovely lady like you?

Joan, I'm so sorry
that I'm late.

What are you doing here?

Playing badminton.

What does it look like
I'm doing here?

Stealing my dinner date.
That's what it looks like.

You -- you two
know each other?

Yeah.

Stealing my date.

It's bad enough you didn't
turn out to be a woman.

What?

You don't want to know.

Right.

Well,
since we're all here,

why don't we just
try to have a pleasant dinner?

Come on. Sit down.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm dying to hear more about
the insurance business, Leslie.

Oh, I'm sure
you'll find it dull.

I couldn't find
anything you'd say dull.

Besides, I was wondering
if I had enough coverage.

I don't know.

But I like what your coverage
is covering.

Oh, you are a smooth talker,
you.

My turn.

Oh.

I've seen him dance.

I hope your accident insurance
is paid up.

I'm dying to hear

more about
the newspaper business, shelley.

Well, I was a pretty good
reporter in my time.

Oh, I'm sure you were.

You know,
I've always wanted

to get close
to an exciting journalist

and discuss the famous five ws
that make up a new story.

You know, the who, what,
where, when, why?

You just make me think
of another w.

Wow.

I've always been
conservative,

though sometimes weak.

All those years with Robert,

we'd been together
all that time,

and we never did it.

I mean, went all the way.

You get
prettier and prettier.

My, how we restrained
ourselves.

I mean,
I give him the credit.

Sometimes I could just
feel myself getting passionate.

Thank goodness
Robert was always in control

as it turns out.

Good old Robert.

My, many times,
he saved me from myself.

I mean, if I just let go,
can you imagine what'd happen?

Oh, I can, and I do.

♪♪

This is my stop.

It's been a wonderful evening,
especially the company.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Pleasant dreams.

Good night.

See you tomorrow.

So, uh, what do you think
of Joan?

Oh, I don't know.

She seems
pretty ordinary to me.

Yeah.

Nothing
to write home about.

Thank you.

Listen, why don't you sit down
and relax a little bit?

I'm more relaxed standing

it's just that I don't know

if I should really
be here or not.

Aren't you enjoying
yourself?

Of course I am.

Too much, maybe.

I mean, who knows
what a situation like this

could lead to?

You're right.

So let's drink
to finding out.

Yeah, I guess one little
night cap couldn't hurt.

♪♪

Oh, look.
You can see the man in the moon.

Oh. Uh-oh.
We better be careful.

He's looking right at us.

I have nothing to hide.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

Isaac: You're right.
He is watching us.

Oh.

You know, I think we'd have
more privacy in my cabin.

Notice how bos
has given you

the straightforward
approach.

Does it give me
a straightforward answer?

Lead the way.

Glad to.

Well, isn't this
a nice surprise.

I thought you couldn't
keep your eyes open.

It looks like I have to
with you around.

Champagne, shelley?

I thought you weren't interested
in the lady.

Don't you give me
a hard time.

What are you doing here?

Me?

Just taking
a little stroll.

[ Violin music plays ]

What is this?
A musical stroll-by?

Flowers, violinists.

You don't pay more than
bucks for anything, do ya?

Ah, shelley.

What a nice surprise.

Leslie.

What a nice surprise.

Here.

Thank you.

Here.

Thank you.

[ Music continues ]

Attention, please.

Our delicious breakfast buffet

is now being served
on the starlight deck.

♪♪

Robert always wanted to keep
our relationship pure.

He said
he didn't respect girls

who weren't pure
when they got married.

And I was always so interested
in having him respect me.

I'm a fallen woman now,
that's for sure.

Fallen women
have good complexions.

That's just a myth.

My complexion's always been
one of my best features.

Let me see.

It still looks better
than it did last night.

Oh, go on.

You're never gonna
respect me now.

I'll always respect you,
emelyne.

No, you won't.

And men don't marry girls
they don't respect.

Would you marry me?

I mean, if I asked?

You never would.

Reach under your pillow.

Will you marry me,
emelyne?

Oh, Neil...

Neil, I can't marry you.

What?

I don't even know
your last name.

Bonhoff.

Emelyne bonhoff.

That sounds just fine.

♪♪

Joan, I am so sorry about
that foul-up last night.

I just wish I could've been
in your cabin alone.

Oh, and so do I, shelley.

Do you believe that Leslie
and his violinist?

Have you ever seen anything
so corny?

I never cared much
for violin music,

but I adore champagne.

I knew you would.

[ Laughs ]

[ Clears throat ]

Could we meet, uh, later,
uh, privately?

I'd love to.

Mm-hmm.

Good morning.

Good morning.

So I said
to this cub reporter,

"when a man bites a dog,
that's news."

Mm.

"But when a man
bites another man,

that is
even bigger news."

Oh. [ Laughs ]

Is he boring you with
the newspaper man stories?

Yeah.

It's so much more exciting
listening to the romance

of mortgage cancellation
insurance.

[ Laughs ]

Would you be a dear,
shelley,

and get me
some more coffee?

Oh, my pleasure.

Thank you.

My apologies for last night,
my dear.

I wish that it had been
just you alone

coming to my cabin.

My violinist playing
outside your door...

Violins
are so romantic.

Let's meet later,
just the two of us.

I look forward to it.

I'll slip knock-out drops
in his prune juice.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to sunny
puerto vallarta.

Known for
its gracious style of living

and its old world charm,

this port has delightful
memories awaiting you

around every corner
of its cobblestone streets.

♪♪

Farewell to your radiant aura,
my sweet Lynda.

Till our souls
touch again.

Touch again.

I have the feeling
your souls

weren't the only things
that were touching.

Well, we did share
each other's space.

But there's more to it
than just that, doc.

Since I've embraced bos,

my entire outlook on life
has changed.

It's the difference
between day and night.

I don't know
about the day,

but certainly the night
seems to have worked out.

Doc, everything is changing
for me.

And the next time
you see me,

I'll be a whole new
Isaac Washington.

A whole new
Isaac Washington.

A whole new me.

That's nice,

but don't forget the old Isaac
still owes me bucks.

♪♪

Hello, gorgeous.

Where have you been?

We've got some sightseeing
to do.

Robert called to wish me
a happy birthday.

I told him "thank you,"
and then I said

"congratulations on your
marriage to Carol Ann."

And?

And...then I hung up.

Well, that's over with.

Come on, future
miss bonhoff.

The air
is full of romance.

Then Robert
called me right back.

How did you know Robert
and Carol Ann are married?

They didn't get married
until last night.

And he didn't decide
to marry her until
yesterday afternoon

when you called and told him
you and I were getting married,

but I didn't decide to marry you
until this morning.

I knew you would.

Did you?

How do you know
so much about me?

Instinct.

Well, did your instinct tell you
I was gonna do this?

Well,
to tell you the truth, Joan,

I just don't know
too many dames.

I -- I mean, women.

Uh, I -- I just never felt
comfortable with them.

Well, you should,
a charming bachelor like you.

Mature women
are very attracted

to men who have never
been married.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

I know I am.

Well, I'm glad.

It seems...
Different with you.

As long as
we're getting along so well,

we should get together
back home.

Who knows
where it might lead.

Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe you'd like to go to a --
a ball game with me.

With my connections, I can get
great seats at the ballpark.

You like baseball?

You don't?

I find it...
Rather boring.

Uh, but I'm sure that --

that we could find a lot of
other interesting things to do.

Well I -- I guess, uh...

A man could learn to like
indoor sports too.

[ Chuckles ]

Gopher, just because Isaac
has changed his thinking,

there's no reason
to condemn him.

Remember
what Voltaire said --

"I disapprove
of what you say,

but I will defend to the death
your right to say it."

Voltaire
was a lucky guy, sir.

He d*ed before he met
Isaac Washington.

[ Whistling ]

Hi, guys.

Isaac, are you on duty?

I sure am.

Then I hope you won't mind
my telling you

that you're out of uniform.

Unless we should all be
wearing flags like that.

[ Laughs ]

Gopher, that's funny.

You know, you have
a wonderful sense of humor.

Merrill, a uniform
is just a state of mind --

like a title --

a mask by which
we hide our true selves.

Isaac, I don't want to discuss
philosophy with you.

But if you're not back
in uniform in two minutes,

you'll be out of it
for good.

Thank you, captain.

I really appreciate
you sharing

your true, inner feelings
with me like that,

and I want you
to have this.

And, goph,
one for you, too.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi, g*ng.

Hi.

I'm glad
I bumped into you.

I have presents
for each of you.

"Being of self."
What is this?

The key to unlocking
the happiness

lying dormant
in each of us.

I think I'll wait
for the movie.

Uh, no, thanks, Isaac.

I'm happy
just the way I am.

No, you're not happy.

Oh, yes I am.

No, you're not happy.

You just think you're happy

because you're having
such a good time.

But this book
will show you

how wretched and miserable
your life really is.

You know what's funny,

I was thinking that very thing
last night

as I was eating
my caviar.

Here you go, Judy.

See you later.
-Bye.

It looks like Isaac's
been brainwashed.

Worse.

It looks like he sent his brain
to the laundry

and they lost it.

♪♪

Oh, I can't tell you
how happy I am, Leslie.

We didn't have
much time in town.

It was short,
but it was so sweet.

Sweeter than the time

you spent with shelley
earlier today?

Oh, that.

[ Sighs ]

That...was a mercy date.

Oh.

I much prefer men
who have been married.

They're more experienced
in dealing with a woman.

Yeah.

I guess we are.

Would you believe it?

Shelley's idea of a good time
is going to a baseball game.

What's wrong
with baseball?

Don't tell me.
You like baseball, too?

Sure, my late wife and I

always had season tickets
every year.

Well, maybe you and I...

Will be doing
a lot more exciting things

than watching baseball.

[ Chuckles ]

It's beginning to sound like
a whole new ball game.

As we bid adios
to beautiful puerto vallarta,

we'd like to wish
all our passengers

a pleasant voyage back to
our home port of Los Angeles.

♪♪

Oh, Vicki,
that's so sweet.

Thank you.

Sure.

Have a nice night.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

"Before blowing out
the candle,

please make any wish

that will please
your sweetheart.

Your sweetheart, Neil."

[ Knock on door ]

Well, what'd you wish,
honey?

Oh, Neil.

I wished that
you'd come to the door

just like you have.

I knew it.

Instinct.

♪♪

Oh, don't take it so personally,
Isaac.

But they didn't even
want to read the book.

Well, it's their loss.

Yes,
but they're my friends.

And I want them to share in

the same wonderful feeling
I have inside

since I found you and bos.

Oh, Isaac.

I have to be absolutely honest
with you.

The inner-self
that deals with the heart

tells me that I love you.

And my self
loves your self.

Oh.

Well, listen.

Don't feel bad
about your friends.

Sometimes,
it's hard for people

to have to deal
with the truth.

You're right.

After all,
before I met you,

i never would have been able
to live a life of total honesty.

Oh...

[ Laughs ]

What's so funny.

[ Laughs ]

You'll love this.

When -- when you first
told me about bos...

[ Laughs ]

...i thought
it was ridiculous.

[ Laughs ]

You did?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I just pretended
to go along with it

'cause I thought you
were sexy.

[ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]

You pretended
to go along with it

because you thought
I was sexy?

But I was just being
completely honest with you.

Oh, you were?

Well, I'm being
completely honest with you.

I never
want to see you again.

Oh.
Good evening, Leslie.

Joan.

What are you doing here?

I'm with my lady-friend.

Your lady-friend?

She only went out with you
because you were a mercy date.

Right, Joan?

Well...

Why don't you go
and have a drink

with your corny violinist.

Joan hated that,
didn't you, Joan?

Well...

You told me
you liked it.

You told me
you liked me, too.

You said that I was the one
you were interested in.

Well,
which one of us is it?

[ Sighs ]

I like...

Both of you.

Mm.

But not one
any more than the other.

You were playing us
one against the other.

Well, a woman does have to
look out for her own future.

But you don't care who you spend
your future with?

Me or the moth-eaten sweater
here.

As far as I'm concerned,

you can stay
with Mr. Ascot.

I've had it.

Well,
I'm glad that's settled.

Well,
you can be doubly glad.

I've had it, too.

♪♪

I've seen people change before,
but never like Isaac.

Yeah.
He's turned around completely.

The wizard of bos.

Hi, g*ng.
Got a minute?

Uh, sorry, Isaac.
I gave at the office.

Judy, I was wondering,
could we talk?

Isaac,
I would love to talk,

but I have to clean bingo balls
for the game tomorrow.

Ace?

Ace: Sorry.

I have to take a picture

of the ship's anchor
in the moonlight.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Doc.

I'd love to stay,
Isaac,

but this is
inventory night.

I've got to count
my aspirin.

Gopher.

Isaac.

My man.

My main man.

Listen, I --

hey, you know what?

I got a date tonight.

You know
what we're gonna do?

What?

We're gonna
go down to my cabin,

and we are gonna discuss

how meaningless and wretched
our lives really are.

Later, bro.

Looks like if I'm gonna be
of myself,

I'm gonna be by myself.

♪♪

I came to apologize.

It wasn't right,
doing what I did with that cake.

I shouldn't have done it.
I'm sorry.

It was bad manners.

Goodnight.

That's not why you came.

You want to be with me.

What makes you think that?

Instinct.

You and your instinct.

That's been
the cause of it all.

Do you always act
on instinct?

Always.

Ever since the first time

that I saw your picture
in Robert's locker,

I knew you were for me

because I trust
my instincts.

Well, I've been thinking about
you and your instincts --

see, that's your problem.
You think too much.

Some things
you don't think about.

You know what's out there?

What, the ocean?

Turtles.

Turtles?

Turtles.

And you know
what they're doing?

No. I never knew a turtle
I could ask.

Swimming --
that's what they're doing.

See, nobody teaches them.

They don't think about it.

They just do it.

It's all instinct.

Well, I don't care
about turtles.

Swimming thousands
and thousands of miles.

And you know where?

No, I don't.

Neither do they.

But one day,
they get there anyhow.

Where?

A tiny little island
somewhere in the pacific.

They hadn't been there
since they day they were born,

but one day they get there.

That's the most
ridiculous story

I've ever heard
in my whole life.

But it's true.

You know what they do
when they get there?

They have babies,

just like their mommies
and daddies had them.

It's all instinct.

Well, I'm not gonna
have my babies

on a tiny island
in the pacific,

you can be sure.

Like I said,
you think too much.

You thought about love.

You thought about
making love.

You thought about marriage.

And what did it get you?

Unhappy and lonely.

Neil --

see, the first time you acted
out of pure instinct,

you fell in love,
got made love to,

you got engaged,

and then you started
thinking again.

And it got you unhappy
and lonely.

Well?

♪♪

How many turtles
do you want to have?

[ Knock on door ]

Merrill: Just a minute.

Hi, merrill.

What is it, Isaac?

Merrill,
I am really upset,

and I need
somebody to talk to

and nobody's talking to me
except you.

You are talking to me,
aren't you?

Come in.

Now, what seems to be
the problem?

I just don't
understand bos.

You're not the only one.

Well,
Lynda is so gung-ho on it.

And the first time
she faced a truth with me,

a truth that hurt a little,

she couldn't handle it.

Isaac, since the dawn
of civilization,

greater minds
than yours or mine or Lynda's

have been searching
for the meaning of life.

And do you really think
you're gonna find it overnight

in a paperback book?

It does sound sort of foolish,
doesn't it?

Even if bos were the answer
for your life,

that doesn't mean it would be
the answer for everyone.

Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

I guess I have
some apologizing to do.

You know, captain,
you are a very wise man.

[ Chuckles ]

And if you ever decide
to go into the guru business,

I'm gonna be
your first disciple.

Well, thank you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go search
for life's meaning

the one sure way
I know how --

in a good night's sleep.

Ah.

Thanks a lot, captain.

♪♪

Hi.

Oh, hi.

How about that Joan?

She was so anxious
to wind up with a man,

she had us both
on the hook.

Yeah, well, I guess I was
a pretty easy Mark.

How come?

Well, I was lonely,

and we bachelors along in years,
we get pretty lonely.

So do widowers.

I guess I was lonely too.

Seems that this cruise
started off bad

and is ending up
even worse.

What a waste of time

filling out
all those questionnaires

for that stupid computer.

Oh, that computer
didn't get one thing right.

Oh, I don't know.

We both like baseball.

I stand corrected --
one thing.

So maybe you and I,
we can take in a game together.

I get free tickets,
you know.

Sounds good.

Hey,
maybe after the game

we could grab a bite
somewhere.

Well, that's better
than eating alone.

I don't suppose you like
Mexican food, do you?

I am crazy
'about Mexican food.

I even put that
in the computer questionnaire.

[ Both laugh ]

So did I.

And I know of this great
little place near the ballpark.

You know that place?

Audrey and I went there
after all the games.

They serve the best margaritas
in town.

You like margaritas?

Oh, I am a regular
Margarita maniac.

[ Both laugh ]

Then maybe later

we could go to one of
those social clubs

and look for a couple
of nice women, together.

Together.

It's a nice word,
isn't it?

[ Violin music playing ]

[ Both laughing ]

♪♪

-Bye-bye.
-Good-bye, captain.

-Oh, good-bye.
-See you.

-Bye-bye.
-Doc.

-Had a great time.
-Bye.

I see you decided
to keep your gift.

Uh-huh.

And I got another one
to go along with it.

Oh.

Somehow, both of them
look permanent.

What'd you do that for?

Instinct.

[ Laughs ]

-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

Lynda, I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings last night.

I guess being of self
just isn't for me.

I'm the one
who should be apologizing.

I mean, there I was
preaching honesty.

The first time I come
face-to-face with it,

I fall apart.

But listen,
I just want you to know

that I think that
you're a beautiful person,

honest.

[ Both laugh ]

Thank you.

Good-bye, Lynda.

Oh, Isaac.

Bye-bye.

Good-bye, gentlemen.

Thank you, Vicki.

I hope the trip turned out
better than when we started.

Oh, it did. It did.

I think our days of being alone
are numbered.

Oh, good.

Good-bye, you two.

I hope you both find
what you're looking for.

Sasha...

I wonder how long
that'll last.

Till she sees
the rest of the orchestra.

[ Both laugh ]

♪♪

♪♪