08x24 - Judy Hits a Low Note/Love Times Two/The Problem with Papa

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Right past the gift shop

and down the passageway,
miss Nicole.

-Oh, Terry.
-Terry, okay.

-Thanks.
-And Terry,

the first champagne cocktail for
you and your friend is on me.

Oh, we'll take you up
on that.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

-Terry!
-Oh, Courtney!

-Hi!
-Oh.

-It's good to see you.
-It's good to see you.

So tell me, how has
the last year treated me?

And don't hold back.

Okay,
lie if you have to.

-You look great.
-Thanks.

But what's this nonsense
you told me on the phone?

It's true.

Roger and I
are getting divorced.

I'm so sorry.

Well, don't be.
I'm delighted.

And I'm looking forward to
some laughs and some good times.

Hi, gorgeous.

Beautiful day for a cruise,
don't you think?

-Hi, Roger.
-Hi, Terry. Nice to see you.

Roger,
what are you doing here?

I decided to come along.

I thought a romantic cruise
might make you change your mind.

If not, this is a great place
to meet new ladies.

Um, maybe you two
would rather talk alone.

Terry, no.

Listen, Roger.

Terry and I are on this ship
to have a good time.

And you're not
gonna spoil it.

You and I have nothing else
to talk about.

Sorry, Courtney.
I don't give up that easily.

Well, what's first,
laughs or good times?

Isn't the ship beautiful,
papa?

I don't know.
I haven't seen it yet.

You're gonna love
mazatlán.

My -- my friends
say it's very colorful.

Beaches, mountains...

Well, let's skip the travelogue,
Louise, and find our cabin.

You've been cooped up
in your little apartment

too long, papa.

A few days of this,
and you'll be good as new.

I never will be
as good as new.

Even when I was
as good as new,

I wasn't all that hot.

Well, we guarantee to return you
better than you were.

Floors, please.

-Aloha for us.
-Aloha. Yeah, me too.

I'm, uh,
Dr. Adam bricker,

and this is Kim Carlisle,
our athletic director.

Welcome aboard.

-Thank you.
-Hi.

Louise Hastings.
This is my father, George.

Hi, Louise.
George, welcome.

-Doctor.
-You said Dr. Bricker?

Yes.
Everybody all right?

Oh, I'm fine, Louise,
please.

My father hasn't completely
recovered from surgery,

but I'm hoping this trip
will rejuvenate him.

Some birthday present,
huh?

Congratulations.

What is it, your th?

Oh, you just missed it
by years.

It's my th.

[ Laughs ]

Let's ditch her
and go and have some fun.

Well, your father's mood
seems to be changing already.

I hope so, Dr. Bricker.

I hope so.

-Enjoy the cruise.
-Dad.

-Yes?
-This is Phil shayne.

He'll be directing
the commercial

-for the cruise line.
-Oh, yes.

We've been expecting you,
Mr. Shayne.

I'm captain stubing.
And this is purser Smith.

Mr. Shayne, your camera crew's
already on board.

We're really looking
forward to this.

Well, So am I.
The ship is perfect.

I'm gonna sell the sun
and the fun,

and especially all the beautiful
people on your cruises.

Excuse me, is that Judy McCoy,
your cruise director?

Yes.
How'd you know that?

I saw her picture
at the personnel office.

She doesn't know it,

but I'm gonna
make that lady a star.

♪♪

[ Air horn blows ]

Now,
this is why I love my job.

This is why I love
watching you do your job.

[ Laughs ]

Okay, yeah.
Yes, very nice.

All righty,
big smiles now.

Great.

Hey,
can I get a copy of that?

Yes you may,
but only if I can have a copy

for my personal files.

Come on, gopher.

The purser
is definitely interested.

Mm.

You think
he finds me attractive?

Of course.

I'm not so sure.
It's intriguing, though.

I mean, not knowing exactly
how a man feels about you.

I'd rather not be
kept in suspense, thanks.

Well, look who's here.
You mind if I --

yes, I do.

I think
I'll go for a dip.

Doesn't seem like I'm making
much headway winning her back.

Roger, I've known Courtney
a lot longer than you have.

Maybe I can tell you a few
things that might be helpful

-in your campaign.
-Thanks.

I can use all the campaign
contributions I can get.

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Doctor bricker.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I can't find my father.

Well,
he can't get too far.

We're on a ship.

Papa?

Louise,
you changed decks on me.

We were on
the same deck.

Well, first day on a ship
can be a little disorienting.

Well,
where did you go?

To the west indies
in search of silks and spices.

Please don't wander off
like that.

Louise, I can take care
of myself.

I --
I don't need a keeper.

As a matter of curiosity,

what kind of surgery
did your father have?

Gallbladder.

He's been hard
to deal with ever since.

You'll have to
be patient.

It's a very painful operation,
especially for a man his age.

-Hi, Terry.
-Hi.

Have you come to claim
your champagne cocktails?

I don't know, Isaac.
You wouldn't by any chance

have a recipe for a good,
reliable love potion, would you?

You know, something with an eye
of newt or a lizard's tail?

He isn't giving a beautiful lady
like you problems, is he?

No, no.

There's a beautiful lady
giving him problems.

My wife.
Her best friend.

I'm just here
playing love doctor.

Well, how about
if I give you both a couple

of my special margaritas
while you work on a diagnosis.

Oh, okay.

It's ironic.

When I was
dating Courtney,

wedding bells were
the furthest thing from my mind.

She's the one
that kept saying,

"if you really love me,
you'll marry me."

And the more you resisted,
the more she insisted.

Exactly.
Then, we got married.

And for while,
everything seemed fine.

Then, gradually,
she began to lose interest.

And that was when she slapped
you with the divorce papers?

I don't understand it.
She knows I'm crazy about her.

Well, that's Courtney.

A clear-cut case
of can't-have-itis.

Can't-have-itis?

Courtney only wants
what she can't have.

She's been like that
as long as I've known her.

Oh, her father
spoiled her rotten.

And I guess I added
to that thought.

Here you go.

Have you come up
with a solution?

Maybe I have, Isaac.

What we really need here
is a very delicate operation,

which Dr. Terry
is volunteering to perform.

♪♪

I can't believe you want me
to be in your commercial.

I've never acted before
in my life.

Well,
in a commercial,

the most important thing
is believability.

And no one is more believable
than a real person.

Hey, right.

That's why you wanted
a real cruise director

to be the cruise director
in your commercial.

Especially this
cruise director.

Want to
give it a go?

-With everybody here?
-Oh, we won't say anything.

Not a word.

Okay.
[ Clears throat ]

Hi. I'm --

unless we feel
that Judy needs it,

but she can always know
where to look for us.

Let's find ourselves
some privacy, hmm?

Right.

Um, why don't you
stay right there.

And when you talk,
move towards me.

Lots of confidence.

-Confidence.
-Very natural.

And natural.

Ready?

As ready as I'll ever be.

Okay.

Hi. I'm Judy McCoy,
your cruise director.

Welcome aboard.
You're going to have --

hold it.

Judy, you were gonna
move towards me.

I was.

Okay.
Now, slow it down.

Very natural.

Enjoy the surroundings.

-Natural.
-Okay?

-Okay.
-All right.

Action.

Hi.

I'm Judy McCoy,

your cruise director.

Welcome aboard.

You're going to have
the time of your...Life.

-I blew it again.
-Oh, no, no.

-Yes I did.
-No, you didn't.

You just need to work on it
some more, which,

frankly, is all right with me
because it means I'll get

to spend more time
with my beautiful star.

♪♪

I'll do that for you.

Next thing you know,
you'll be tying my shoelaces

and cutting my food.

Papa, I want this to be
a really good vacation for you,

so, please, no more disappearing
acts like this afternoon.

Why,
I go for a little walk,

and you make me out
to be a Houdini.

I can
take care of myself.

Papa, did you forget about
the bus incident?

So I missed my stop.

Missed your stop?

You were halfway
to Cleveland.

So I missed
a lot of stops.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It w--

it won't happen again.

I promise.

Let me, papa.

Boy, you look handsome.

♪♪

Attention, please.

Main seating dinner
is now being served

in the coral dining room.

[ Applause ]

You remember how pretty
marianne used to be?

Her looks
are completely gone.

What are you
smiling about?

-Was I smiling?
-Mm-hmm.

Good evening,
lovely ladies.

Hi, Roger.

I've was walking
to my table, see?

And suddenly,

this strange magnetic force
just propelled me over here.

Well, please take your magnet
with you when you leave.

Well, I'll try, but
the attraction is incredible.

I remember that smile,
Terry.

You'd have it all over your face
when you met someone.

Have you?

Maybe.

And well,
you gonna tell me who?

Maybe.

Okay.
Let's see.

We've been together
since boarding.

[ Gasps ] I know.

It's the purser.
What's his name?

Uh, gopher?

You know, Terry,
one of the reasons

that we've been friends
for so long is because...

Well, because we've never
liked the same guys.

So I hope
it's not gopher,

because I kind of
like him myself.

It is gopher,
isn't it?

Nope.

It's Roger.

[ Chokes, coughs ]

It's delicious, isn't it?

...enough marinara sauce on
that dress to feed four people.

Customer swore she never had it
out of the box.

It sounds like you really
enjoyed your job.

I sure did.

years.
Hampton's department store.

My father's department
was first in sales

for consecutive years.

Easy on the wine,
papa.

Louise, a glass or two
never hurt anybody.

Right, doctor?

Well, it doesn't hurt
some people, George.

How's Judy been doing
so far?

Oh, not badly considering that
she's never done this before.

All I've got to do
is just get her to be herself.

Well, I think
she's gonna be okay, Phil.

After you left today,

i took her under my wing
and gave her pointers.

Had some
theatrical experience.

Forgive me now
for being tardy,

i hope your evening repast
was not delayed on my account.

[ Clears throat ]

Drop it on the chair,
Judy.

[ Laughs ]
Ashley, you're so droll.

Excuse-moi.

You know, the entire afternoon
was such a lark.

It was especially stimulating
working on my character

with you, burl.

Oh, you had a hand in this,
Mr. Smith?

Sir, you might say
I was somewhat responsible.

Yeah.
I'd say totally guilty.

[ Mumbling ]

Come on, papa.
Time for bed.

Looks like the wine
snuck up on him.

-Better get him to his cabin.
-Yeah.

There we go.

No that's --
that's enough wine.

There we go.

♪♪

With all due respect
to purser Smith,

could we get back to
where we were this afternoon?

Delighted.

Oh, come on.

Phil, I'm still just
a little bit nervous

about this whole thing.

Well, that's all right.
Come on.

Let's give this a try.
Look it over.

Take your time.

Okay.

Hi. I'm...

Judy McCoy.

You see, I can't even
remember my own name.

Well,
you're trying too hard.

Just be natural.

Talk about the cruise
as if you were

describing it
to a passenger.

You sell this cruise
every day.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, okay.

Now try it after me,
okay?

Hi. I'm Judy McCoy.
I'm your cruise director.

Hi. I'm Judy McCoy.
I'm your cruise director.

Welcome aboard. You're going to
have the time of your life.

Welcome aboard. You're going to
have the time of your life.

That's terrific.

-It is?
-Yeah.

Now just take a lot of you
and a little bit of this

and you'll be fine.

-Okay?
-Okay.

All right. Now.
Roll cameras.

Come on.

Hi. I'm Judy McCoy,
your cruise director.

Welcome aboard.

You're going to have
the time of your life.

This ship
is a floating resort,

so let us carry you
to exotic wonderlands.

Wonderful.

I wasn't that wonderful,
was I?

Or is the scene where
the director kisses the star

to get her inspired?

No, this is the scene where
the star kisses the director

and gets him inspired.

♪♪

Hey.
I have a surprise for you.

I hope it's as nice
as the last one.

Well, I've been saving the best
for the last.

You are going to sing
the love boat jingle

in the commercial.

Hmm?

I'm going to sing
the love boat jingle.

Don't worry. It's just a little
parody, a simple parody.

You won't have any trouble
with it.

No, no, no, of course not.
I love to sing.

Oh, great.

And I know that your voice
is going to be just as beautiful

as you are.

♪♪

You have wonderful
bone structure.

Have you ever
been a model?

Oh, thank you, gopher.

You're very sweet.

Courtney's
looking this way.

Why don't you gaze dreamily
into my eyes

and reach over
and touch my cheek.

Like this?

Perfect.

Terry, Roger, you should have
seen her eyeballing you two

while you were
on the dance floor.

[ Whistles ]
If looks could k*ll.

-Really?
-Mm.

Well, let's see
if she took the bait.

Would you like to go
for a stroll?

Yes. As a matter of fact,
I think I would.

Good night.

Excuse me.

Those two people at the bar,
what were they talking about?

I'm sorry.
I'm not at Liberty to say.

That man happens to be
my husband.

Really?

Well, that's not
what he was talking about.

♪♪

Hello.

Dr. Bricker here.

Sorry.

I was thinking about
my father.

Oh, try to relax,
Louise.

He was sleeping like a baby
when we left him.

Thanks for the help.

Yeah.

Actually, I was thinking of
when I was a little girl.

Papa running beside me

when I learned to ride
a two-wheel bicycle,

shouting encouragement,

making sure
I wouldn't fall off.

You know, he tried to teach me
to hit a baseball.

He was convinced
I'd be the first female player

in the big leagues.

Pretty memories.

He was so strong.

But now when I visit him,
he's lethargic.

His moods keep changing.

He forgets what he's doing.

Do you think
he's becoming senile?

It's always
a possibility.

Have you discussed this with
his, uh, personal physician?

Briefly.

He, uh, says it's hard
to pinpoint at this stage.

That's true.

You see, the problems
he seems to be having

could come from a number
of disorders related to aging.

All right.

While he's on the ship
I'll keep an eye on him.

I don't want to impose.

You won't be because I'm gonna
keep the other eye on you.

What do you think Courtney
will say when I tell her

I went to your cabin
for a night cap?

I've never been able to predict
what she's gonna say or do.

The amazing thing is,
I'm beginning not to care.

Courtney:
Welcome home, Roger.

Courtney,
what are you doing in my cabin?

Why not?

I'm still your wife.

Um, Terry, you weren't
planning on coming in, were you?

I guess I wasn't.

Good night, Roger.

When I first
came aboard this ship,

i would have give anything
for us to be in the same cabin

together.

See darling?

You got your wish.

♪♪

-Such a lovely night.
-Mm-hmm.

I'm glad you decided
to keep an eye on me.

Oh, I cheated. I've been
keeping both eyes on you.

Oh, my god.
My father.

Papa.

What are you doing?
What's wrong?

Mr. Hastings?

Who are you?

I'm Dr. Bricker.

I don't know you.

Uh, we had dinner together,
George.

My little girl.

Where's my baby?

Come on.
It's all right.

Here we go.

Come on.

Good morning, passengers.

We are now serving
our delicious brunch buffet

on the starlight deck.

Hi, Terry.

Gosh, I am starved.

Aren't you gonna eat?

I'm not hungry.

Mmm.

You know, with me,
a night of endless love

is always followed by
a day of endless eating.

Does that mean
the marriage is back on?

Well, as far as I'm concerned,
it is.

Roger
isn't quite saying yet.

Don't tell me
he's holding out on you.

Maybe the tiniest bit.

Just enough to tantalize me.
Mmm.

And I do love it.

Well, it's nice to see you
smiling again, Courtney.

Thanks.

You know,
I think I'll go back for more.

Uh, food that is.

I told you,
romance makes me ravenous.

Me, too.

Guess I'll lose some weight
on this trip.

Hi, George.

Hello, doctor.

How is he doing today?

He slept
the rest of the night.

I didn't.

Uh, why don't you pull up
a chair and join us?

Well, thanks. I -- I'll
just stay for a minute.

Uh, George,
would you drop by my office, uh,

when you have the time?

I'd like to
take a look at you.

Take a look at me?
I've never felt better.

Papa, don't you
remember last night?

Of course
I remember last night.

I apologize
for spoiling your dinner.

Oh,
you didn't spoil my dinner.

We're talking about
after dinner.

You came wandering
into the lounge in your pajamas.

You didn't recognize us.

Must have been
sleepwalking.

Glad you have
such high rails.

You weren't sleepwalking,
papa.

Of course
I was sleepwalking.

If I say I was sleepwalking,
I was sleepwalking.

Why are you making things up
about me?

George, please.

She isn't
making anything up.

I don't -- I don't
have to listen to this.

♪♪

Adam, I don't know what to do.
I'm scared to death.

♪ Love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

♪ romance on the ocean ♪

♪ pack your swimsuit
in a bag ♪

♪ and bring
your suntan lotion ♪

Well?

-You hit all the notes.
-I did?

Yeah.
Just not in the right order.

I knew it.

I am awful.
I am horrible.

I am rotten.

At least
you're honest.

Good morning, everyone.

-Hey, Phil.
-Hi, Phil.

-How are you doing?
-Hi, Phil.

Hi.

Oh, good.
You got the music.

I was hoping
we could go over it together.

Well, I, uh,
I would like to practice

just a little bit longer.

Well, okay,
but remember, I chose you

because I wanted
a real cruise director.

-I don't want it perfect.
-Yeah.

He won't be
disappointed.

Listen, I, uh, I got to go
check with my office in L.A.

I'll -- I'll see you later,
all right?

Later. Yeah.

-Later.
-See you.

Now what?

Let me see.

Well, this is kind of
a cute jingle.

♪ Love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

♪ romance on the ocean ♪

♪ pack your swimsuit
in a bag ♪

♪ and bring
your suntan lotion ♪

That's fantastic.
That's great.

Yeah.
I wish I could sing like that.

-Maybe you can, Judy.
-What?

You know how
when you go to a movie

and you see
somebody singing?

That doesn't mean
that they're singing.

It may just mean
that they're moving their lips

and somebody else
is singing for them.

That's a great idea.

Vicki, you could
do the singing for her.

You already know
how to move your lips.

No, guys.
It's wrong.

-Think we can get away with it?
-It's definitely worth the sh*t.

You go up and stand behind Judy,
okay?

We'll give this
a little trial run.

[ Clears throat ]

♪ Love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

♪ romance on the ocean ♪

♪ pack your swimsuit
in a bag ♪

♪ and bring
your suntan lotion ♪

[ Cheering ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

bienvenidos
and welcome to mazatlán,

the most glittering modern city
on the Mexican riviera.

Take a ride on
the three-wheeled pulmonia

to the historical Plaza

or stroll through
the colorful bazaars.

Bien tiempo, amigos.

♪♪

Hi.

If you're looking for Courtney,
I haven't seen her since lunch.

I wasn't looking for Courtney.
I was looking for you.

Well, here I am.

And I want you to know
that I'm glad things

worked out they way
they did for the two of you.

Thanks.

I expected you to sound
a little happier about it.

I expected to be
happier about it.

I don't understand.

You told me
that getting Courtney back

was the most important thing
in your life.

I thought it was,
but now...

I've thinking about you
all day.

Last night
when Courtney surprised us,

I was about to kiss you.

Roger, I loved you
the first time I saw you.

But you were my best friend's
husband, and you still are.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Papa.

Papa,
will you talk to me?

If I do,
will you go away?

No.

No, I won't go away.

And neither will
your problems.

You didn't go
to see Dr. Bricker.

I'm sick of doctors.

I hoped -- no, I prayed
it wouldn't come to this.

But after last night...

I don't want to
discuss it.

Papa, you know how much
I love you, don't you?

I'd never forgive myself
if --

if anything
happened to you.

Nothing is going to
happen to me.

I can't
take that chance.

When we get home

and I have to get back
to my job

we've got to
find some place

where there are be people
who will look after you,

who will take care of you
all the time.

Louise, please,
don't send me to a home.

I have to see
that you're safe.

Louise, please, no.

Please don't
throw me away.

Throw me away.

♪♪

Hey, Roger.
How's it going?

-Terrible.
-Terrible?

What happened
to your little plan?

It worked -- perfectly.

Oh, yeah, man.
I hate it when that happens.

Now I know my marriage
was a mistake.

When I was pretending
to love Terry,

I found out
that I wasn't pretending.

Uh-oh.

Does she feel the same way
about you?

Yes,
but it's impossible.

She won't do anything
that would hurt Courtney.

-I'm in a bit of a bind.
-Wait a minute.

I've got a plan.

Isaac,
we already tried one plan.

It made things worse.

This one will work.

Trust me.

Famous last words.

All right.
What do I have to do?

Well, for openers,
lend me $ .

[ Laughs ]

Hi, big boy.

I, uh,
have a couple of hours off.

I was, uh, wondering,
would you like to go into town?

Arr, little girl,
don't you think

we should be
rehearsing the jingle, arr?

[ Both laugh ]

I thought you didn't like
to rehearse.

Yeah, well,
I haven't heard you sing it yet.

Well,
I should save some surprises.

Yeah, well, I think I should
hear you sing it just once

before we go into town.

Phil, my voice isn't really
warmed up yet today.

Well, um,
maybe this'll help.

Forget singing.

I can't even breathe.

Yeah, well, if you can sing
as well as you kiss,

this is gonna be
some commercial.

♪♪

-Yes?
-Hi.

-Hi.
-I'm looking for Mr. Bennett.

I'm sorry.
He's not in right now.

Can I help you?
I'm Mrs. Bennett.

Oh, yes, uh,
would you give this to him?

It's the $
he gave me.

$ ?

Yeah. Would you tell him
I don't want the money?

Seeing you two back together
again is the only reward I need.

-Reward for what?
-Oh.

Well, I promised Mr. Bennett
it would be between him and me.

Well, why don't you make it
between him and you and me?

It'll be worth
another $ .

Oh,
it's not worth that much.

Why don't you let me
be the judge of that?

Okay.

I told Mr. Bennett

that if he pretended
to like your best friend

that you would realize how much
you really cared for him.

Pretended?

-Mm-hmm.
-That's it?

Yeah.

You're right.

It's not worth that much.

Ah.

I can't stop thinking
of when I was a child.

Whenever I hurt myself,

papa could kiss it
and make it better.

I wish I could do that
for him.

If it were only
that simple.

[ Sighs ]
It's all so unfair.

I know.

Louise,
I've got to examine him.

Make some tests.

I've had a suspicion
gnawing at me since yesterday.

Suspicion?

Yeah, something
I've got to confirm.

Louise,
your father's symptoms --

his mood swings,

erratic behavior,

sudden loss of memory --

are part of a pattern
that can seem like senility.

It's also part of a pattern
that can be self-induced.

Gopher:
So, where's Vicki?

We're supposed
to be rehearsing now.

Well,
let's just forget it then.

I will confess to Phil
that I'm not really a singer.

No, no.
Vicki wouldn't let you down.

Just give her a minute.

-I'm sure she'll show up.
-Yeah.

[ Knock on door ]

Ah. See?
Our voice has arrived.

-At last.
-All right.

Okay Vicki, if you
could just stand right there

and Judy
will stand right there

and Vicki will sing
and Judy will move her lips.

All right, on four.

One, two, three, four.

[ Raspy ] ♪ love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

♪ romance on the ocean ♪

I have laryngitis.

[ Sighs ]

Papa.

Wake up.

Wake up.

-Please.
-Oh.

Please, papa.
Please wake up.

-Uh, oh.
-Please, please wake up.

Come on, papa.

Come on.

Wake up.
Come on, get up.

-[ Groans ]
-Please.

Papa, come on.

[ Groans ]

Come on, papa.
Lie down.

Come on.

Ohhh.

Papa!

[ Groans ]

Get me Dr. Bricker quick.
It's an emergency.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we're now sailing for home.

There's a gentle breeze
blowing from the west.

The moon looks beautiful.

Have a wonderful evening.

Terry,
my mind's made up.

Whatever happens
or doesn't happen between us,

I'm leaving Courtney.

Are you sure?

Even if
she still wants you?

What she wants
isn't important anymore.

It's what I want.

I made a mistake
last night.

Forgive me?

You're forgiven.

Hold me.

Isaac told me
it was all an act,

but it certainly looks like
the real thing to me.

It is real, Courtney.

Courtney, we didn't
plan on falling in love.

So the husband
and the best friend

will live
happily ever after.

And the wife will go on
searching for --

for something
she can't seem to find.

Well, good luck
to both of you.

Okay, Vicki.

Now, this is something
that my mom used to give me

when I had laryngitis as a child
and couldn't go to school.

-Did it work?
-I don't know.

I never had laryngitis, I just
didn't want to go to school.

Go ahead.
Drink up.

Here you go.
Chug-a-lug.

♪♪

Oh, that's right.
I forgot.

It made me nauseous, too.

That's it.
I'm gonna Phil tell the truth.

Wait, wait.

There's one other person
on this crew who can sing.

-Who?
-Who?

I'm sorry.
I can't wait outside.

How is he?

Very lucky, considering
the amount of dr*gs he's taken.

dr*gs?
What dr*gs?

Codeine, phenobarbital,
percodan, demerol.

How did he get them?

From different doctors.

These all have
your father's name on them

and each one is
from a different doctor.

One doctor didn't know what the
other was giving him or when.

It's a common method
used to support drug habits.

-My father?
-Yes.

And it's becoming
more and more prevalent

among elderly people.

-I should have been more aware.
-No.

How could you?
You don't live with him.

And people who do this
know how to hide it.

Louise...

Papa,
are you all right

yes.

Why didn't you
tell me?

-Tell you what?
-About the dr*gs.

How many
you've been using.

Wasn't that many.
I just got what I needed.

I don't understand.
How -- how could this happen?

It started with
the operation.

Hurt so much after

so I took two pain pills
instead of one.

And then
you needed more.

And you'll keep needing
more and more until...

Well...
You know the answer to that.

I want to stop so bad
but it's...

It's hard, so hard.

George,

I know some wonderful doctors
who can help you.

And I'll be there.

I'll be with you, papa.

What about the home?

You'll be in one.

You'll be in my home.

Our home.

Remember,
when I was little girl

when I was learning
to ride my two-Wheeler?

You ran beside me
not letting me fall.

Now I'm gonna run beside you,
papa.

Oh, I'm sorry.

So sorry.

I love you very much,
louisey.

Louisey.

You haven't called me that
in so long.

♪♪

...or that shining
ocean-to-ocean passage

called the Panama canal.

There's sun, fun,
and fascinating ports of call.

So sail with us
and let your spirit soar.

And cut.
Wonderful.

[ Chatter ]

Judy up here.

Here we go.

Great.
All right.

Okay.
It's time for the jingle.

I know
it's gonna be marvelous.

Steve, cue the music.

-No problem.
-Jingle time.

-You can do it.
-Music.

All right.
Come on, g*ng.

And roll 'em.

And action.

Kim: ♪ love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

-♪ romance on the ocean ♪
-wait, wait, hold it.

♪ Pack your swimsuit
in a bag ♪

♪ and bring
your suntan lotion ♪

♪ see the ocean
sparkling blue ♪

♪ see the sun is shining ♪

♪ hear the call
that's calling you ♪

♪ then ♪ --

hi, there.

Kim,
what are you doing?

Uh, well,
captain, you see,

the only reason I'm in here
is because Vicki has laryngitis.

Will someone please tell me
what's going on around here?

So, remember that time we went
to that studio in Hollywood?

-Yeah.
-Well, it was a great studio.

Excuse me.

Judy.

Phil, I'm sorry.

Kim did that
because --

because
I have a terrible voice.

I can't sing at all.

Why didn't you
just tell me?

I'd never
let you look foolish.

But I ruined
your commercial.

Nonsense.

I just record another singer's
voice instead of yours,

nothing to it.

Someone who can sing as well
as you can kiss.

♪♪

Well,
so long you two.

Looks like the cruise
turned out fine after all.

Thanks, Isaac.

I came on in love
and I'm leaving in love.

And this time,
he's staying in love.

-Bye.
-Bye-bye.

Adam.

-Bye.
-Bye.

How can I ever thank you
for giving me back my father?

Just make sure you contact
the clinic I told you about.

They'll see he gets
the proper medical supervision.

I will.
I'll take care of it.

What about me?
Do I get a kiss, too?

Well...

[ Both laugh ]

-Hello, captain.
-Oh, hi.

Mr. Shayne, I'm delighted your
commercial turned out so well.

Well,
thanks to your cruise director,

my entire trip went very well.
Thank you.

Vicki, I hope you get
over your laryngitis soon.

[ Raspy ]
Thank you.

Oh, Phil,
how would you like

to hear your commercial jingle
one more time?

Um, fine.

[ Clearing throats ]

♪ Love boat cruises
are exciting ♪

♪ romance on the ocean ♪

♪ pack your swimsuit
in a bag ♪

♪ and bring
your suntan lotion ♪

♪♪