09x15 - Egyptian Cruise: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Love Boat". Aired: September 24, 1977 – May 24, 1986.*
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Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
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09x15 - Egyptian Cruise: Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme music]

Dionne Warwick: (Singing)
Love, love exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, love is
like sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love, love
won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Well, no damage done,
as far as I can tell.

Oh, right, no damage
if you don't count mt.

Everest back there or the
fact that my keys are gone.

They probably dropped
out of your pocket

when you cracked your head.

Or somebody took them at edfu.

Oh, don't worry, goph, they're
bound to show up somewhere.

[Music playing]

Mr. Sawyer, my staff informs
me that miss Grant and Mr.

Richmond didn't report at edfu.

Do you know anything about this?

Well, they taken some time
off to work out some problems.

They'll find alternate
transportation

and meet us in aswan.

Alternate transportation?

I wish you'd look at
what this vegetation is

doing to my dress.
- No problem.

I'll take care of it.

How many times do I have
to tell you I'm sorry?

I'll let you know when
I've heard it enough.

[Music playing]

You know, Vicki, i'm
glad I invited Helen.

She's having a good
time and So am I.

She brings back a merrill
stubing I almost thought never

existed.

Well, I'm kind of partial
to the one I grew up with.

Dad, I know you're trying
to make up for lost time.

Mm-hm.

But i-- I just hope
you're not both trying

to make up for something else.

What are you
talking about, Vicki?

You both miss frank
branigan very much.

It's like when you're
together, telling old stories

and reliving old times,
he's almost here with you.

Well, what's wrong with that?

He does seem to be with us.

And Helen feels it too,
and it makes her feel good.

Believe me, Vicki,
if there was anything

I could do to bring frank
back, I'd do it in a minute.

But you can't, dad,
and neither can she.

He's gone.

He was my best friend ever
since the seventh grade.

We were on the same football
team in high school together,

college.

I tried not to think about it.

I tried to keep too busy
to let it sink in so I

wouldn't have to say goodbye.

Maybe Mrs.
branigan is clinging

to you for just that reason, so
she won't have to say goodbye.

You still hungry?

I'm starved.

What is that?

Well, it's Egyptian bread,
some vegetables, assorted

spices, and, uh, mystery meat.

Don't you think
you could saute

me a nice little steak with
some mushrooms or something?

How much money you got left?

You know I don't carry cash.

Well, I'm about out
too, so we'll have

to make every dollar count.

I paid good money for this.

You eat it or I will.

No one talks to me like that.

I mean, look at my dress.

I can do something
about that, ma'am.

Hold on.

Sir, may I have something nice
and wonderful for the lady.

I got to be uh, uh, cheap.

Ah, beautiful.

Here, look at this.

Hm?

What do you think?

I think I wouldn't
be caught dead in it.

It has no shape,
no form, no label.

It's hideous.

Miss Grant, this man
is very proud of his work

and rightfully so.

This isn't Hollywood.

This is Egypt.

Manners are important
here, and the sooner

you get that through
your head the easier

this trip is gonna be.

Now, you can remain in
your dusty, dirty dress

or you can slip into this
nice fresh, clean galibier.

The choice is yours.

It's beautiful.

I'll take it.

It's the strangest thing.

Half my supply of
bandages has disappeared.

[Pounding]

Did you hear something?

A pounding from inside
the mummy's cabin?

No, I don't hear anything.

What's going on?

Whatever it is, it's
going on in there.

Well, it's too bad I
don't have my passkey,

or I could go right in there.

Well, looks like
we're in luck.

Gopher: Lucky us.

[Faint moaning]

[Screaming]

It's adu.

And my missing bandages.

Go get the light.

[Screaming]

Carrie?

Oh, hi, doc.

I heard noises.

And when I opened the door,
someone rushed past me

and knocked me down.

And that's when I
found your ankh.

What were you doing
hiding in the corner?

I'm an undercover
agent for the Egyptian

department of antiquities.

You're what?

And I believe that that
sarcophagus and this ankh

are connected to an undiscovered
treasure somewhere in the area.

And I'd like to take custody
of this until we know for sure.

Shouldn't you have a
warrant or something for this?

Ah, look, I'd rather
not make this that public.

If you don't mention
this incident to anyone,

then I won't have to bring
in the department, yet.

[Music playing]

[Sighs]

I hope you're satisfied.

Very.

You look good.

Well, I'm still hungry.

Well, I hate to suggest it,
but, uh, I did save that lunch.

That Egyptian thing?

At least it's filling.

[Music playing]

You know, you,
uh, you really are

very beautiful in that robe.

Well, it's not exactly
what I'm accustomed to,

but, well, it's
comfortable enough.

Actually, the stitching
is quite marvelous.

All by hand.

How can that
man afford to sell

such workmanship for so little?

I mean, how do these
people live out in a--

a desert like that?

Different way of life,
friendlier, more relaxed,

life on the human
scale you might say.

Well, it's change.

I'll give you that.

It's so quiet.

I grew up in
country like this,

farmland along the Ohio river.

People there, they come
to a kind of balance.

They knew what was important.

I'm from New York.

I don't think I ever thought
anything was important.

Don't you dare quote me on that.

I-- I won't, I promise.

You say that almost
like you mean it.

Yeah, I do.

[Music playing]

How does that old saying go?

A penny for your thoughts?

Oh, I was thinking about this
river, how it never changes.

And all this history.

Thousands of years, it makes
time seem insignificant.

Helen, I was talking
to Vicki earlier.

Oh, she's wonderful, merrill.

What a sweet, beautiful girl.

You must be very proud of her.

Oh, I am.

Anyway, she said
something today,

and it got me to
thinking about us.

Helen, all the time we've
spent together has been--

like the old days, I know.

You can't imagine how
much that means to me

now, picking up
where we left off.

You know, just like frank,
you are so much a part of me.

It's like nothing's changed,
like nothing ever will.

Announcer (on pa): We're
cruising into aswan,

Egypt's winter vacation land.

Be sure to see philae temple,
and a short one-hour flight

away, the towering
monuments at abu simbel.

Hey, doc.

I'm sorry to have put you on
the spot last night with Carrie,

but you know that archaeologist
that got on in Luxor?

He thinks that she might be a
thief who's after your ankh.

No, she's just after
my heart, Isaac.

You heard her.

Carrie barton is with
Egyptian antiquities.

She says she's with what?

Egyptian antiquities.

This is the guy, doc.

Hi.

Jason Matthews, upper
Egypt reconstruction.

Adam bricker.

Nice to meet you.

I work with every
antiquities agent in this area,

and I've never laid
eyes on her before.

Uh, tell you what, here's
the number of the department.

Give them a call.

Check her out.

Well, sure.

And let me know.

Ok.

Antiquities department.

Guys, have you got a Carrie
barton working for you?

I know no one by that name.

I have a list of employees
right here in front of me.

But no, no Carrie barton.

Don't you think you're
overdoing the shopping a bit?

Oh, you haven't promised to
bring back as many souvenirs

as I have.

I think Charlotte would
love one of these.

Besides, everything's
so expensive.

Fine.

That is just no reason to
buy everything in sight.

Greg, what is the
matter with you?

I just can't--

I just can't do it.

I just can't go racing around
the globe buying every basket

and trinket, thumbing
through a guidebook trying

to figure out which
ancient king built

which ancient pile of rocks.

I know this is important
to you, but I have

work that needs my attention.

I have people who
are depending on me.

I depend on you, too, Greg.

Only you are never
there anymore.

You haven't been
there for a long time.

What's happened to us?

years of marriage.

I'm going back to the ship.

I'll take these and this.

Were you warm
enough last night?

You forget, I had the
camels to cuddle up to.

Well, you gave me
all the blankets.

Well, your producer would
crucify me if I brought

his star home with laryngitis.

[Laughs]

Sawyer really needs you
for his movie, you know?

I know.

Look, Mr. Richmond, I'd like
to thank you for all your help.

That doesn't really come easy
for me, but well, I mean, i'm--

I'm not accustomed to, uh--

you're welcome.

Hey, lady, need a boat?

Hi.

No thanks.

I-- I've already got one.

Oh, not one that'll take
you where I want to take you.

And where's that?

Secret place, known only
to me and a few guide books.

What do you say?

Ok.

[Music playing]

Oh, you're not working today.

Well, all work and no play
makes nabil a pain in the neck,

as our good captain put it.

Besides, a place like
this is good for the soul.

And we do have a rain check.

Perhaps a tour of the island?

You don't take no
for an answer, do you?

But I'm remarkably
open to yes.

[Laughs]

All right.

Philae temple was built
late in the new kingdom

as a shrine to the goddess
!sis, a faithful wife

who kept the spirit of a
dead husband alive, even--

I'm terribly sorry.

I didn't mean--

I'm sure you didn't
Mr. Al-masry, but you

don't know what it's like.

You just don't know.

I know how I felt when
my wife d*ed, alone, empty.

That was years ago but--

I'm not alone, Mr. Al-masry,
and my life is far from empty.

It's full, full,
full of friends,

full of work, classes,
full of friends.

I know the symptoms.

I found myself working hours
a day, expanding the business,

building the Alexander,
hanging on to old friends.

Perhaps I could help.

No.

I don't need your
help, Mr. Al-masry.

I don't need anyone's.

Philae temple.

I wish I could have
built it for you.

Somebody b*at me to it.

Oh, Chris.

I don't know what to say.

What's left of the
great temple hathor.

It flourished around
the time of Christ.

How do you know so much?

I had a great teacher.

If only you paid this
much attention in class.

I'm paying attention now,
or haven't you noticed?

Chris, no.

This is wrong.

I have a son almost your age.

I know, I know.

You have a son four
years younger than I am.

Well, I'm not anymore,
and you're not my teacher.

You are a beautiful woman.

Your husband may not see
it any more but I do.

Please, leave
Greg out of this.

I can't and neither can you.

That doesn't matter.

What matters is I love you.

You what?

You're not serious.

Yes, I am.

I love you, Laurel.

I don't think he does.

I-- I think we should--

i-- I have to get
back to the ship.

Any word from miss Grant yet?

Not a phone call, not a telex.

Thought she was going
to meet us in aswan.

That's funny, I find myself
actually concerned about her.

[Chuckles]

Hello!

Well, will you look at that.

Michael!

Hello, ace!

Hello!

[Laughs]

Oh, Michael.

Oh, I thought we'd
never see you again.

Oh, but Wayne took
very good care of me.

I almost don't want it to end.

Oh, and look.

Look at this incredible robe.

Well, he found it
in this charming

little Egyptian village.

Oh, and the people, oh,
they were marvelous.

They didn't even know who I was.

Oh, but let me freshen up,
and I'll tell you everything.

Oh, and Michael, have
that contract ready.

And-- and if you still
want me, well, I would

love to be your Cleopatra.

Ok.

What did you do with
the real Deborah Grant?

Oh, that was the
real Deborah Grant.

Want me go back and
get the other one?

No, no, no, no, no, no no.

[Music playing]

Abu simbel, one of the true
wonders of the ancient world

was rescued from the rising
waters of lake nasser by one

of the true engineering
wonders of the modern world.

The temple at
ramses at abu simbel

was carved by hand from
a solid sandstone cliff.

These statues guard the temple
ramses ii built to the god

amun-ra and to ramses ii.

Good grief.

He must have been long on
pride and short on humility.

Not like frank, he's
just the opposite.

Oh, the other figure is
queen nefertari, ramses' wife.

Definitely not a feminist.

She looks so dependent.

Maybe she's leaning
too hard on the past.

Why shouldn't she, if her
past was full of happiness?

What about the present?

What about us?

Helen, I don't want to
pinch hit for frank.

Frank is part of us.

You can't just turn
your back on the past

as if it never happened.

I'm not saying forget
the past, just let it go.

Please, let go of frank.

You don't understand.

If I let him go, he's gone.

He's already gone, Helen,
and I won't take his place.

We can't live in the
past, at least I can't.

And I won't go on helping
you do it anymore.

Please, frank.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean that.

Everything's going
to be all right.

No.
How can it ever be all right?

We were married for years.

How can I start over now?

I don't want to do that.

I can't.

Now, ramses built this
temple for his wife nefertari.

Her name means most beautiful.

Well, he must have
loved her very much.

Oh, yes.

Well, judging from the
size, not near as much as he

loved himself.

But that was ol' ramses for you.

What about Wayne Richmond?

How does he feel about me?

For a guy that makes
his living with words,

I'm at a loss.

Well, let me tell
you how I feel.

I didn't believe you when you
said that missing that boat

was an accident.

I was sure that you
were trying to get back

at me for the wine
at dinner that night,

or maybe you were arranging
an angle for your article.

Why don't we go on over there?

No, no, no, please,
please, let me finish.

You had no reason to be
civil to me, let alone nice

but you were both.

What I'm saying is
I misjudged you.

I've probably been more wrong
about you than any other man

I've ever known.

[Music playing]

Hi, Mr. Richmond.

Listen, gopher
wanted me to tell you

that your paper telexed and
wanted to know when you'd

be sending them something.

Well, I have some pages for
him to send this afternoon,

ace.

Thanks.

Is that the article?

I can't wait to read this one.

It's the article
I was gonna write,

but I won't be publishing it.

No longer applies.

I was a whole person
before I met frank,

and I know I'm a
whole person now,

but I wish I could feel that.

Frank took a part of
me along with him, too,

Helen, but he left us even more,
and that's the part to hold on

to, the good things, the love.

You're right.

He was special.

But i-- I have to let him go.

I'm afraid it'll take some
time, more time than I thought,

I guess, but I will.

I'm sure you will, but if
there's anything you ever need,

I'll be as close as a
ship-to-shore phone call.

Thank you, merrill.

I'm afraid I've leaned
on you too much already.

Don't you know that's
what old friends are for?

[Music playing]

Greg.

I wonder where our dinner
companion is tonight?

No idea.

Probably abandoned
us for some young girl.

I'm sure every teenybopper
on the ship's been after him.

Greg, I'd like to talk.

About what?

About us, about what's
happened to the high school

sweethearts who married young
and settle down before we

knew what it was all about.

Do you love me?

What are you trying to say?

I am trying to say that, Greg,
our marriage is in trouble.

Oh, my god.

All because I have to do a
little reading this trip.

A wall has gone up
between us, and you refuse

even to acknowledge that.

Could you keep
it down, please.

I mean, people are
starting to look.

Let them.

Let them look.

Let them take a good
look at the two of us,

a marriage dying due to
your lack of interest.

Wayne?

How about some dinner on me?

Wayne?

Hello?

[Music playing]

Chris.

Good morning.

Hi.

You weren't at dinner
last night and i--

we were worried.

I, uh, thought it
might be awkward for you.

Oh.

I saw your husband
leaving the ship.

Oh, yes.

He went into town for the day.

He has to arrange to send some
manuscripts back to Seattle.

Uh, may I come in?

Uh, sure.

That outfit might do ok for
the costume party tonight,

but I don't know what the folks
at karnak are going to say.

Well, i'm, uh, i'm
not going out today.

I, uh, I've seen enough
temples for one cruise.

Then, do you mind if
I stayed in with you?

Chris, I'm afraid.

You don't have
anything to be afraid of.

Leave it to me.

[Music playing]

Karnak temple
and Deborah Grant,

that's a great combination.
Ok.

Yeah, yeah. That
would be perfect.

Hold on a second.

Let me get her.

Ok.

Miss Grant, we're ready for you.

Ok.

Just a minute.

Well, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Have you?

Anybody ever tell you, you
look especially wonderful

in that light.

I'm paid to look wonderful.

It's part of the contract.

It's in the job description
when you're in the public eye,

and I am in the public eye,
aren't I, Mr. Richmond?

Mr. Richmond?

What is this?

This is goodbye.

I enjoyed our little adventure,
but I am no longer amused.

Amused?

You were amused?

I thought you changed.

Obviously, I misjudged you.

Well, that's the thing
about people, you know?

Sooner or later,
they all live down

to your worst expectations.

Ace, can we get this over with?

By all means, ace.

Get it over with.

Thanks.
Ok.

Hop on up there.

Take a pose similar
to what we have here.

All right.

Here we go.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Miss Grant, are you all right?

I'm fine.

Ok.

Here we go.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Every pharaoh who ever
ruled made a contribution

to karnak temple,
usually a new building,

sometimes treasure or servants.

Well, what about the
guy whose sarcophagus

is back on the ship?

He, too.

I'm sure if we looked, we
could find his cartouche.

His signature?

Yes.

On a wall around
here, somewhere.

Ah, this is the sun god,
ra, the giver of life.

See how the rays are shown
ending in human hands.

And here's the ankh.

The ancients
believe that one's

breath was the key of life.

See how the ankh is always
held to the pharaoh's nose.

This is fantastic.

Hm.

Hm.

It's not always held
to the pharaoh's nose.

And here's that cartouche again.

You've been upset all day.

Anything you want to talk about?

Something between
you and Richmond?

Trust me, there is
nothing between Mr.

Richmond and myself.

I found that article
he wrote documenting

his private adventure
with, how did he phrase it,

the Hollywood ice queen.

You read that?

Yep.

[Laughs]

Miss Grant, I think there's
something you should know.

I talked to Richmond.

[Music playing]

Greg!

I'd like to talk to you
about this, Mr. Peters.

I want you out of here!

Greg, please let me explain.

Get out!

Not until we talk.

I'm in love with your wife, and
I think she's in love with me.

Oh, Greg!

Stop!

No don't, don't!

Chris, get out of here.
- Laurel.

Please, just leave now.

Out!

Get out!

Oh, Greg.

It-- this is the first--

this is the only time.

Why, why don't I believe that?

It is the truth.

It's the truth, Greg.

This is the only time.

Listen, uh, we're just
going to forget about this.

We have to discuss this now.

We are never gonna
mention it again, ever.

Greg.

Vicki (on pa): Calling
all pharaohs, mummies,

and high priests,
join us for costume

night in the ship's lounge.

Hi, Chris.

Not in the partying mood?

Guess not.

Wanna talk about it?

Judy, what do you think about
younger men with older women?

Well, I'm personally
in favor of it.

As the years go by, I like
the idea more and more.

Look, Chris, she's married.

Not happily.

That's a choice she
has to make, isn't it?

[Applause]

I think you were born to
play Cleopatra, Deborah.

You look wonderful.

I wish I felt wonderful.

What good is Cleopatra when
Mark Antony left the barge

without a word to anyone?

Ace is looking for Richmond.

He'll find him.

This ankh has caused
nothing but trouble.

You know, doc, the
pharaoh who owned

that cartouche sure got around.

I saw it again this afternoon
on a wall at karnak temple

with a whole bunch of
hieroglyphic treasure chests,

and it was--

wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I want to tell you that this
is quite possibly the biggest

thrill of my life,
no, really, sharing

a dance with Deborah Grant.

I'm flattered, Mr. Smith.

Thank you.

Gopher, I think
I figured it out.

You gotta come with doc and me.

Wait a minute.

Can't it wait bars?

Excuse me.

[Speaking Egyptian]

Where is the nearest shade?

I never did find
out where it was.

I always said the
question right,

but I never could understand
the answers I got.

Pity I wasn't there
to translate for you.

Well, there is one phrase
I would like to know.

How do you say, "may I
have the next dance?"

[Speaking Egyptian]

What about merrill?

Merrill and I
are good friends,

too good to risk that
friendship with my dancing.

But maybe you would
like to chance it?

[Speaking Egyptian]

I would be delighted.

[Music playing]

Isaac: Come on you guys.

Come on.

Let's go.

Gopher: Do we have
to do this now?

It's dark and creepy in there.

Doc: Don't worry, gopher.

We'll make sure nothing
falls on your head.

Gopher: Funny, doc, very funny.

Come on, you guys.

Here, right here.

Look.

See, this cartouche is the
same one that is on your ankh

and on the sarcophagus.

So?

So this is our
pharaoh, and the sun

should be holding the ankh
next to its nose but it's not.

Oh, well that
explains everything.

Doc, let me have the ankh.

Ok.

Here.

You know, this key of
life may also be the key

that unlocks the treasure.

Shine your light up
here just a second.

It really works!

I don't believe it.

Oh, no.
I'm not going in there.

I'll take door number two.

Wow.

Look at that.

Congratulations, gentlemen.

It's what we've all
been looking for.

Ok.

Let's have a look.

Miss Grant?

You don't have
to tell me, ace.

You didn't find him.

I didn't think you would.

I'm sure he caught
the first plane

to Cairo and with good reason.

It was a mistake.

How could you have known
he wasn't going to publish

those pages you read?

Sometimes I feel like I've
spent my entire life jumping

to conclusions,
racing around trying

to get everywhere faster and
be better than everybody else.

But Wayne, he taught
me what was important.

Wayne: And I'd like to keep
right on teaching if I may.

Wayne.

What do you say, sweetheart.

Is it me?

Well, I'll be
inside if you guys

need me for anything, which I
think is a remote possibility.

I heard you were
looking for a Mark Antony,

and I wondered who I had
to kiss to get the job.

Luckily, I've insisted
on cast approval, at least

in my personal life.

I've been on the trail of this
treasure for seven long years,

following clues I've found
in temple after temple.

Once I translated
the hieroglyphics

on that sarcophagus,
everything fell into place.

I knew right where to look
for this, pharaoh's ransom.

You're behind this?

So Carrie does work for
the government after all.

Boy, did I get a wrong number.

And thanks to you
three, all this is mine.

With you out of the way,
this stuff will bring

a fortune on the black market.

I'll reseal the room, and maybe
somebody will find your bodies

in another , years.

, years?

We could be dead by then!

[Screaming]

Get the g*n!

Don't let him get away.
- I got him.

Hold it.
Hold it.

Carrie, I'm sorry
I ever doubted you.

Oh, that's all right, doc.

You have the whole rest of the
cruise to make it up to me.

Doc, do you
really think this is

the time or the place for that?

This may not be
the place but doc

always seems to find the time.

Chris, what are you doing?

Laurel, our breakfast
is getting cold.

Chris?

I'm getting off here.

I'm taking the next
train back to aswan

and then maybe the
red sea, I don't know.

I wish you'd come with me.

You know I can't.

Young man, don't you
think you've caused--

why don't you do it?

Why don't you take a chance?

It could mean a new
life for both of us.

You oughta be
ashamed of yourself.

No.

You oughta be
ashamed of yourself

for not treasuring every
minute with this woman.

You may not want to face
the truth, but I love her.

And I would like to spend
the rest of my life with her.

Chris!

Laurel?

He's a kid.

What happens when
he meets somebody

young, somebody his own age?

What will happen to you then?

I-- I won't be
put in a position

to fight for my own wife.
Let's eat.

No, Greg.

Let's not.

Laurel?

Chris!

I wanna go with you.

Well.

I know it's crazy,
but right now,

it seems like the sanest
thing I've ever done.

[Theme music]

How are you doing, Mr. Sawyer?

Well, looks like
my film is off again.

Aw, did miss Grant back out?

Only for two weeks,
it's the honeymoon

clause in my contract.

Hey, congratulations.

Wonderful,

you think your paper will
make you cover your own wedding?

Oh, no.

When Richmond takes
Grant it's going

to be a very private affair.

That's great.

And this is from the
antiquities department

expressing its thanks in helping
us recover a pharaoh's ransom

in ancient artifacts
and for helping

us capture a major dealer
in black market antiquities.

And this is from me.

What's he got
that we haven't got?

The girl.

Bye-bye now.

Oh, bye-bye, Mrs. Branigan.

I hope you enjoyed your cruise.

I did.

Thank you, Vicki.

And thank you, merrill,
for everything.

Where will you be going?

Well, actually, I'm staying
in Egypt for a few days.

Nabil has promised me
a personally guided

tour of Cairo's landmarks.

Well, since this is the city
of , minarets, I'm sure

it will take you a while.

I can only hope, my friend.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

[Theme music]
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