14x39 - Another Side Story! This Time's Enemy Is a Monster!?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bleach". Aired: October 5, 2004 – March 27, 2012.*
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Japanese anime follows Ichigo who becomes a Soul Reaper, dedicating his life to protecting the innocent and helping the tortured spirits themselves find peace.
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14x39 - Another Side Story! This Time's Enemy Is a Monster!?

Post by bunniefuu »

KARIN, Success!

YUZU, We did it, Karin!

My name is Franken Ichigo.

I was on the brink of death after battling Hollows,

but I have been brought back to life as an android.

I wandered aimlessly about, and as I emerged from the dark forest,

there was a castle.

Where…is this place?

What the heck is this?

Not again.

RUKIA, Ichigo!

Oh, Rukiruki!

RUKIA, Huh?

ICHIGO (N), One night, I had a dream.

ICHIGO (N), I awoke in a desert to find I had become an Arabian thief and…

Ah, forget it.

The point is that this whole thing is a dream.

RUKIA, Are you daydreaming or something?

What're you talking about?

What difference does it make when I'm already inside a dream?

Ouch!

Hey, that hurt!

RUKIA, You're not dreaming!

RUKIA, It was time for our meeting,

RUKIA, but you never showed up, so I came to get you!

Meeting?

RUKIA, You fool!

Ouch!

RUKIA, Have you forgotten about that too, you moron?!

Ow ow ow!

Hey, cut that out!

RUKIA, Come on, we're going back to the castle!

Okay!

I get it, so stop that!

Rukiruki!

RUKIA, It's not Rukiruki!

RUKIA, I'm Rukia!

Stop… Ow!

RUKIA, We're back!

Rangiku, Toshiro, Ishida, Inoue and…

Who are you?

Wait… Relax, relax.

This is a dream. A dream.

RUKIA, What're you mumbling to yourself about?

RUKIA, Hurry up and take your seat!

Oh. Right, right.

Ishida, what's that you're drinking?

ISHIDA, Can't you tell? It's milk.

Why aren't you drinking blood?! Aren't you Dracula?!

ISHIDA, What're you talking about?

ISHIDA, Blood is the same color as a Soul Reaper's Spirit Ribbon. I would never drink that.

But, why milk?

ISHIDA, As both Dracula and a Quincy,

ISHIDA, it is only natural that I take pride in the color white!

Hey, what's wrong, Ishida?!

ISHIDA, The truth is, I'm a bit anemic because I can't drink blood.

ISHIDA, Mind not getting me so worked up?

Is this guy okay?

RANGIKU, He's fine. It happens all the time, right?

ORIHIME, Right.

Rangiku is a witch,

and Inoue is a…

Is that a pumpkin?

A pumpkin ghost?

ORIHIME, Kurosaki, you're all patched together! So weird!

You're the weird one, Inoue.

RUKIA, Sorry about that, Inoue.

RUKIA, He's been acting strange since I brought him here.

I'm fine!

By the way, what kind of monster are you supposed to be dressed up as?

RUKIA, What? Can't you tell?

RUKIA, I'm a succubus.

Huh? What's a succubus?

ISHIDA, Allow me to explain!

ISHIDA, Succubi are generally known as “dream demons.

ISHIDA, They are a kind of demon that ruin men,

ISHIDA, appearing as lovely women with bat wings on their backs.

ISHIDA, They att*ck men in their sleep, seduce them, and suck them of their life energy.

Hey Rukia.

You've been jabbing at me with that fork this whole time.

Don't tell me you're…

RUKIA, Fool!

RUKIA, Why would I seduce you?!

RUKIA, I display my skills as a seductress only to those who are noble and beautiful.

RUKIA, For example…

RUKIA, Someone like my older brother.

Jeez… Enough with all of this!

Uh…

That voice… Is that you, Renji?

I couldn't tell who you were with that mummy outfit.

Wrong.

Huh?

I'm not a mummy. I'm a pirate.

What?

I was once a pirate who sailed the seven seas.

RENJI (N), Back then, I was afraid of nothing.

RENJI (N), I believed the world was my oyster.

RENJI (N), But my arch enemy,

RENJI (N), Team Seaweed, stood before me.

Get them!

RENJI'S MEN (PINEAPPLES), Pine!

AMBASSADOR SEAWEED (BYAKUYA), Go, seaweeds!

TEAM SEAWEED, Seaweed, seaweed!

RENJI (N), A fierce cannon fight ensued between our two pirate ships.

RENJI (N), And finally…

AMBASSADOR SEAWEED (BYAKUYA), Shall I tell you the difference between you and I?

WAKAME MEMBER, It's class.

The wounds from that day made me end up like this.

Wait.

So you're not a monster?

And Team Seaweed? What the hell?

HITSUGAYA, Hey, you guys!

HITSUGAYA, Weren't we here to have a meeting?!

Meeting?

What are you talking about, Toshiro?

HITSUGAYA, I'm not Toshiro! I'm Wolfman Hitsugaya!

HITSUGAYA, We couldn't start the meeting because you didn't come!

RANGIKU, Oh, that's all right, Captain.

RANGIKU, We haven't all introduced ourselves yet,

RANGIKU, and the meeting is only about the hunters anyway, right?

Hunters?

RANGIKU, All we have to do is get rid of the hunters quickly.

RANGIKU, Don't get so stressed out.

RANGIKU, Your fur will start falling out again, Captain.

HITSUGAYA, Matsumoto!

RANGIKU, Don't get angry!

RANGIKU, Here, use this to ease your stress!

RANGIKU, Fetch!

RANGIKU, Wow, Captain!

RANGIKU, Good boy, good boy!

HITSUGAYA, I'm not a dog!

RANGIKU, Shake!

RANGIKU, Good job!

HITSUGAYA, I said I'm not a dog!

RANGIKU, Here, one more time!

RANGIKU, Fetch!

So what's the deal with this meeting and the “hunters?

ISHIDA, If you insist…

ISHIDA, I guess I'll have to explain.

So we're back to you again?

ISHIDA, We received information that recently,

ISHIDA, mysterious monster hunters have been showing up in this area.

ISHIDA (N), For reasons unknown,

ISHIDA (N), the two of them are not k*lling monsters but they are looking for a certain secret treasure.

Secret treasure?

ISHIDA, That's right. The secret treasure they are searching for is

ISHIDA, a legendary jewel that will force us monsters to turn back into human beings, the Snow Crystal!

Wait just a minute…

I recognize that shape!

ISHIDA, Yes.

ISHIDA, They plan to use the Snow Crystal to cleanse the world of every last monster.

ISHIDA, That is their objective.

Question!

Where is that whatever-you-called-it crystal?

ISHIDA, It is kept under lock and key here in the top floor of this castle.

So by using that, we all turn back into human beings?

ISHIDA, That is correct.

ISHIDA, That is why we absolutely must protect the Snow Crystal from them.

ISHIDA, Stop!

ISHIDA, Where are you going, Kurosaki?

Where? To the top floor.

ISHIDA, Hey, Kurosaki! Surely you're not planning to…

Damn right!

I'm using that jewel to return to being a human being!

Then I should be able to wake up from this dream!

ISHIDA, What kind of nonsense is that?!

ISHIDA, Come to your senses!

ISHIDA, Blood…not enough blood.

Once you wake up from this dream, your anemia will be gone too!

See you!

HINAMORI, - Everyone! We have a situation!

- Ouch!

HINAMORI, Look! The sky is…

ISHIDA, That's…

- Dad?

ISHIDA, - Ryuken!

ISHIDA/ICHIGO, Ah!

Dad!

ISHIDA, Ryuken!

ISHIDA, Kurosaki, you first.

No, you go ahead first.

ISHIDA, Fine, then...

ISHIDA, Ahem.

ISHIDA, Ryuken!

RYUKEN, Calling your father by his first name…

RYUKEN, You haven't changed at all.

ISHIDA, Why do you have the powers of a monster hunter?

RYUKEN, You are such a fool.

RYUKEN, Ryuken Ishida… Whether I like it or not,

RYUKEN, I am the only man who is allowed to call himself

RYUKEN, the last monster hunter.

Um… There's also me, you know.

RYUKEN, Just shut up and get going!

RYUKEN, Now then! Prepare yourself, Uryu!

ISHIDA, You leave me no choice but to fight you.

ISHIDA, Kuchiki, Inoue, Hinamori, return to the castle and protect the crystal!

RUKIA / ORIHIME / HINAMORI, Right!

ISHIDA, The rest of us will stop the hunters here!

RUKIA, Huh?

ISHIDA, Where's Kurosaki?

ISHIDA/RUKIA/ORIHIME/RENJI/HITSUGAYA/RANGIKU, Oh, crap!

Like I would waste my time fighting hunters!

I'm going to get the Snow Crystal and wake up from this dream!

Dad…

So you've come, Son.

I'm not letting you go a step further!

Huh?

Hey, wait!

Didn't you guys come to steal the Snow Crystal from us?!

Never mind the details!

What is this?!

You're not making any sense!

I'll defeat you and return to reality!

RYUKEN, It's useless to resist, Uryu.

RYUKEN, I know you don't have the energy to sh**t a volley of arrows.

ISHIDA, D-Damn it!

ISHIDA, If only I had drunk blood like I should have.

RYUKEN, And also, you probably think that

RYUKEN, the maximum number of Spirit Arrows I can sh**t in a volley is , but…

RYUKEN, Actually,

RYUKEN, it's twelve hundred…and one!

ISHIDA, What?!

Extend, Zabiobi!

Hey!

Let me help you out, Ishida!

Damn! All I want is to wake up from this dream!

Why do I have to fight you, Dad?!

Sour grapes? You're being a poor sport, Ichigo!

As the saying goes,

“The lion, the King of Beasts,

shoves its cubs off the highest cliff to test their worthiness.

Now, Ichigo!

Crawl back up and prove that you've surpassed me!

Like I said, stop talking nonsense!

That's no reason to fight, is it?!

HITSUGAYA, Found you, Kurosaki!

HITSUGAYA, Bastard! How dare you betray us!

RANGIKU, You deceived us and planned to snatch the crystal, didn't you?!

What?

No, wait, you don't understand!

I mean, look! I'm fighting a hunter right now!

Huh?

HITSUGAYA, Oh, so you're having a family squabble?

HITSUGAYA, Abarai! Ishida!

RYUKEN, My, my… You guys are all talk and no substance.

Damn! We can't do a thing against him!

RYUKEN, If you absolutely refuse to tell me where the crystal is, then you leave me no choice.

RYUKEN, I'll get rid of you first,

RYUKEN, then take my time looking for it.

Hey, Ishida!

Isn't there anything we can do?

ISHIDA, Now!

Huh?

Huh? What?!

Wh-What is this?

Hikotsu Houtai!

Hey, what's the big idea? Stop it!

RANGIKU, Panpuru, Pinpuru, Hainekkon!

HITSUGAYA, Ban…

HITSUGAYA, kai!

HITSUGAYA, Daiurufu Hyorinmaru!

ISHIDA, I placed Sprenger inside the courtyard for such a situation. Guess it paid off.

ISHIDA, It's over, monster hunters.

ISHIDA, And as for you, Kurosaki…

ISHIDA, Your noble sacrifice allowed us to earn a victory.

ISHIDA, Rest in peace.

ISHIDA, Kurosaki!

Ichigo!

ISHIDA, Are you all right, Kurosaki?!

Man, that was close.

If I didn't have this mask, I'd have been a goner along with the hunters.

Hey, Ishida! What was up with that land mine?!

ISHIDA, What're you talking about?

ISHIDA, I told everyone about it earlier today.

ISHIDA, It's your fault for not being there on time.

What? Is that so?

RANGIKU, That's right! You're so forgetful, Ichigo!

Oh, I see! Sorry!

ISSHIN/RYUKEN, Joke's over!

RANGIKU, Wh-What?!

RYUKEN, Now you've done it.

Brats!

ISSHIN/RYUKEN, You won't get away with this!

ORIHIME, Pumpkin. Pumpkin.

ORIHIME, Pumpkin.

HINAMORI, Will this do, Inoue?

ORIHIME, Yes.

ORIHIME, The barrier appears to have become much stronger now.

What're we going to do?

There's nowhere else to run!

Damn! Guess we'll have to fight them again.

RANGIKU, Fight? But we didn't stand a chance!

ISHIDA, We have no choice.

ISHIDA, It's not worth everyone's lives.

ISHIDA, It's regrettable, but we'll have to hand the crystal over to them.

Inoue!

Where is the crystal?

ORIHIME, It's right over there!

Okay!

Huh?

Hey, Ichigo!

It's no use. I can't hold them back any longer!

RYUKEN, This is as far as you go, you pathetic monsters.

Where'd you hide the crystal?

RYUKEN, It would seem there's a petty thief among you.

RYUKEN, Which one of you is it?

RANGIKU, It wasn't me!

HITSUGAYA, I wouldn't do such a thing!

ORIHIME, Kurosaki!

It wasn't me, either!

HINAMORI, Or me!

Looks like you have your answer.

Nobody knows!

Maybe such a thing never existed to begin with!

RYUKEN, What?!

These guys might be monsters,

but it doesn't change the fact that they're my precious friends!

I will protect them!

RYUKEN, Fool! Do you think you can b*at us?

I'm not going to fight you just thinking I can win.

But I can't have you hurt my friends any further!

I have to win!

ISHIDA, Jeez… Reckless as always, aren't you?

Ishida!

ISHIDA, Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not helping you.

ISHIDA, This is my fight too, you know.

That's good enough reason to join forces.

Let's do it!

Wh-What is this?!

RYUKEN, b*ating scum like you isn't going to amount to much money.

That's how it is.

Huh? What's that supposed to mean?

See you.

Hey you guys!

RUKIA / RENJI / ORIHIME / HITSUGAYA / RANGIKU / HINAMORI, Hurray!

RUKIA / RENJI / ORIHIME / HITSUGAYA / RANGIKU / HINAMORI, We won!

RUKIA / RENJI / ORIHIME / HITSUGAYA / RANGIKU / HINAMORI, Hurray!

Hey!

RYUKEN, Friends, he said. How impudent.

Aren't you glad? You got to see how much your precious son matured.

RYUKEN, Whatever!

You just won't admit it, will you?

Hey, wait up!

What the hell was that all about?

ORIHIME, But where is the Snow Crystal?

That's right! Without that, I can't go back!

ORIHIME, Go back to what?

RUKIA, I'm out!

RUKIA, Hey!

Rukia?! You hid it?!

RUKIA, What're you talking about?

RUKIA, A succubus is a demon that shows you dreams.

RUKIA, In other words, I am the Snow Crystal!

I don't get it.

RUKIA, And besides, this isn't your dream.

Then whose is it?

Ouch! What was that for?!

ORIHIME, Kurosaki?!

ISHIDA, What's this?

HITSUGAYA, Fur?!

RUKIA, Farewell, Ichigo.

KOMAMURA, Beast!

KOMAMURA, A dream?

KOMAMURA, That was scary.

KOMAMURA, Oh, wait! It was my face!

What a good episode to celebrate the series' -year anniversary.

We got to see our son's mature.

RYUKEN, No it wasn't. Look at this outfit.

RYUKEN, I wore it thinking it was my son's design, but he hasn't improved at all!

Oh, I designed that.

RYUKEN, I'm going to go change.

Illustrated Guide to Soul Reapers.

We're not done yet?

ISHIDA, It's to celebrate the -year anniversary.

ISHIDA, We have to go all the way.

Whoa!

ISHIDA, Why the surprise?

ISHIDA, You're a monster, right?

Ishida, you bastard!

ISHIDA, Wait, that's…

Nothing happened.

ISHIDA, Actually, it looks like we're falling yet again.

ISHIDA, Ah! There's more of this?!
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