01x04 - Strawberries

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Ramy". Aired: April 19, 2019 –; present.*
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Ramy a first-generation Egyptian-American is on a spiritual journey who becomes caught between a Muslim community that thinks life is a moral test and a millennial generation that believes life has no consequences.
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01x04 - Strawberries

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[DOOR OPENS]

[CHIMING CONTINUES]

[TYPING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

What did we say about the door, Ramy? - Oh, yeah.

- FAROUK: It stays open.

Yeah, I was changing, so I just forgot to open it back up.

FAROUK: [SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

I was gonna clean it tomorrow, right after school.

FAROUK: You know, when I was your age, I wish I could have all of this mess in my room.

But I didn't have anything to make this mess with.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

The door stays open, habibi.

Okay? Okay.

FAROUK: [SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

MAYSA: You forgot your phone.

Would you stop calling it a cell phone? It's a walkie-talkie.

What do you mean? What do you do with a cell phone? You walk and talk.

So it is a cell phone.

Look, we got you the computer, we got you the TV, and now you want a phone.

So you have a business I don't know about? James gets a real phone.

Yeah, habibi, I cannot afford for you to be everyone else.

Right? It's too expensive.

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

This has a good signal.

- The army uses it.

- [SCOFFS]

And it helps me know that you're safe.

I'm not in the army, I'm in middle school, but MAYSA: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

[KISSES]

Be good.

RAMY: Bye.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

[DEVICE CHIMING]

JAMES: Dude, my phone's so sick.

[CHIMING CONTINUES]

Yo, everyone jerked off again this weekend, right? Yeah.

sh*t, man.

I was thinking about Kaylee McDean hitting on me at the dance.

Bro, you're so lucky.

I heard she wears thongs.

JAMES: Everybody wears thongs now, dude.

Check this, though.

My brother brought these tapes from his college.

I jerked off to them, and I found out that one of the videos is actually a girl from his school.

Sick.

Yeah, she was giving them out to guys that she liked.

Yo, so you found more of your dad's magazines? Yeah, but he caught me with the stash in the basement.

He was like, "Just don't tell your mom, okay?" And then he just left me with them.

- Like, he definitely knew.

- Yo! JAMES: Yeah, so, Ramy, what'd you jerk off to this weekend? Oh.

Well, you know, like like nice boobs and stuff, mainly.

That's it? You just thought about them? No, I looked them up online.

Yeah.

I did it, like, six times in a row.

- Six times? Dang.

- That's crazy.

MOSES: Really? That's a lot.

I've never heard of that before.

TEACHER: Okay, class, this is a slight variation of what we learned last week.

We have that ANGELA: Ramy, do you have a pencil sharpener? Yeah, just one second.

Uh TEACHER: So if we have that, what's our hypotenuse? Who's got it? Angela.

C squared equals 25? TEACHER: Let's plug it in and see if it works.

- Ramy? - Can I use the bathroom? [DOOR SHUTS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[ZIPPER UNZIPS]

[URINATING]

[URINATING STOPS]

[ZIPPER ZIPS]

[URINAL FLUSHES]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[DOOR SHUTS]

- [DOOR OPENS]

- MAN: Oh, no.

[FOOTSTEPS]

- [DOOR BANGING]

- [COUGHING]

[SIGHING]

[WATER RUNNING]

[SIGHING]

WOMAN ON P.

A.

: Mr.

Rucker, please come to the main office.

MAN: Jesus! [PAPER TOWEL DISPENSER RATTLING]

[POUNDS DISPENSER]

MAN: Oh, Jesus, Mother Mary, angels! Please, no.

- [POUNDS DISPENSER]

- [EXCLAIMS]

[SIGHS]

It's all right, kid.

Just Just just get back to class.

REPORTER: reporting live from downtown Manhattan.

It's complete chaos down here.

[REPORT CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND]

REPORTER: The Westside Highway WOMAN ON P.

A.

: Mr.

Rucker, you're needed in the main office.

[PEOPLE ON TV, INDISTINCT]

[GIRL SOBBING]

[PEOPLE ON TV, INDISTINCT]

ANCHOR: Every airport in the country has been shut down.

This was, in its initial moments, thought to be a terrible accident but is now being considered an act of terror.

Government officials are looking into what they believe may be a connection with Islamic leader O*ama b*n L*den.

The Israeli government is backing these claims, they're siting these videos previously recorded by bin Laden himself.

TRANSLATOR: "The arrogance of America has reached the point where they've occupied Arabia, - the holiest land of the Muslims.

- I can't get through.

TRANSLATOR: For this and other acts of aggression and injustice, we have declared jihad against the United States.

Allah has willed us.

" ANCHOR: For our viewers who are just tuning in right now, - you're looking at a live picture - That's where my mom works.

ANCHOR: of the World Trade Center tower.

Hey um, Angela [WALKIE-TALKIE BEEPING]

MAYSA: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

FAROUK: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

- [SPEAKING ARABIC]

Uh, okay - FAROUK: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

ANCHOR: into the World Trade Center.

It appears the plane is still embedded inside the building.

And we're still waiting for more information.

This is breaking news and we're not sure as to the nature of this accident just yet.

FAROUK: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

- [NEWS PLAYS ON TV]

- MAYSA: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

ANCHOR: since taking responsibility for the att*cks there has been no confirmation of O*ama b*n L*den's current whereabouts.

Federal investigators are searching for any possible link between the Al Qaeda leader and citizens of the United States.

As of now, they are unsure if any of the orchestrators of the att*cks still remain in America or in contact with the organization.

[TYPING]

The way they are looking at us [SPEAKING ARABIC]

MAYSA: It just happened a week ago.

People are too sad to go swimming.

Honestly.

FAROUK: I know.

It's not good.

It's not good, no.

MAYSA: Ramy! School time, yalla.

Hey, man, can I ask you somethin'? Yeah.

What's up? Are you a t*rror1st? What? You know, like, are you, uh He means, like, is your family t*rrorists? Like, are you Arabic and stuff? We were just wondering because, you know, you're from the Middle East and everything, so we thought maybe you guys were t*rrorists.

Guys, I'm from Egypt.

That's not even the Middle East.

Egypt's in Africa! If anything, I'm black.

Come on, you don't really believe I'm a t*rror1st, do you? You guys know me.

Do we? Yeah.

Uh what do you mean? You've been lying to us.

When? Whenever we talk about jerking off and stuff, you always say something weird.

The other day, you said you jerked off six times in a row.

That's crazy.

So I asked my brother about it.

He said you can end up in the hospital from doing that.

He said you could've d*ed.

No.

You can You can do it.

Look, man, your brother just hasn't done it before.

My brother's done everything.

His brother jerks off a lot, man.

Have you ever even done it? - Yeah.

- Just be honest with us.

Of course I have! You're lying.

I don't even think you know how to jerk off.

And I don't think you're black.

I'm not lying, guys.

JAMES: Fine.

Then prove it.

Go in there.

Jerk off on this leaf.

Show us you're not a t*rror1st.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

- [BIRD FLUTTERING]

- [GASPS]

- [BIRD FLUTTERS]

- [GASPS]

[TEETH CLATTERING ON NUT]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

KATIE: Hey, Ramy, why did you skip James's pool party? What do you mean? KATIE: You said you were coming.

- I thought it was canceled.

- KATIE: Oh, no.

We lit candles for Angela's mom.

Then Chris Jenkins did a cannonball off the diving board.

His ass got so red he was crying.

He tried to say it was 'cause he was sad about Angela, but no one believed him.

MAN ON P.

A.

: Good morning, Bulldogs.

Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.

- [STUDENTS PLEDGE ALONG]

- I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

- [WALKIE-TALKIE BEEPING, CRACKLING]

- [MAN SPEAKING, INDISTINCT]

[TENSE MUSIC]

[CLATTERING]

[SHUFFLING]

[CREAKING]

Dad? OSAMA: You have whipped cream? [STUTTERING]

Bottom-right corner.

OSAMA: Ah.

The bottom.

Reddi Wip.

Nice.

Good Muslims.

- [WALKIE-TALKIE CRACKLES]

- MAN: [SPEAKING ARABIC]

Yeah, I found a spot.

My cousin's place.

I'm in New Jersey.

OSAMA: Not so far.

Only 20 minutes with no traffic.

Call me when we're ready.

[TAKES OFF LID]

[SHAKING]

[CREAM DISPENSING]

Ramy, relax.

Sit.

I love strawberries.

They only grow in warm weather.

But soon, in a few months, it will be winter, and America will still have strawberries.

Do you know how? Egypt, your home, was a land of kings.

Art, innovation, science.

But now now it is weak.

Now it owes money to men in suits.

To pay them back, Egypt turned their wheat fields into strawberry fields.

So every year, Egypt grows thousands of strawberries.

But they are not for Egyptians.

People need wheat for bread.

Do you see what I mean, Ramy? They have less bread so Americans can have strawberries in December.

I didn't know.

[OSAMA CHEWS LOUDLY]

I'll only eat them in the summer.

How do you feel here, in New Jersey, America? Do you ever feel like you don't belong? Yeah.

Sometimes.

That is because you, Ramy Hassan, don't belong here.

You can hear it in your name, can't you? You should be living in Cairo, but they made it impossible.

And now you are here, struggling to fit in.

Your parents can barely afford life.

- I wish I had a cell phone - OSAMA: Hmph.

that had Snake on it.

You know, I never have anything that anybody has.

Me too.

I wish I had friends I could trust.

America was my friend.

Then they turned their back on me.

You know what that's like, don't you? You're just like me.

The world is dying at the hands of America, and the people here feel nothing.

They're men in suits who only care about their strawberries.

I gave them a gift.

I let them feel something, to taste the blood we taste every day.

[OSAMA SIGHS]

[OSAMA SIGHING]

But what about Angela's mom? Who? My friend.

Angela.

Her mom d*ed.

Look.

If she was in Building 7, - I had nothing to do with that.

- RAMY: But it's not fair.

They were just working.

They didn't know about all that What about Fatima's mom? And Khalid's mom? And thousands of moms that have d*ed in the Middle East? [TENSE MUSIC]

We must restore the balance, even if it means k*lling Angela's mom.

No.

I'm not like you.

'Cause I don't want to k*ll people.

- I'm not a t*rror1st.

- OSAMA: How do you know? You've already lied about so many things.

You never jerked off, have you? [SIGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

- Ramy? - [SCREAMS]

WOMAN: Ramy.

You don't need this anymore.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

You shouldn't listen to that man.

He's wrong about many, many things.

You know, American women, they aren't so bad.

And you do fit in, Ramy Hassan.

You fit in just fine.

You can jerk off six times in a row.

You can do anything.

Hey, t*rror1st, do you go this way to school? Yeah, most of the time.

My wheelchair van is busted for a few weeks.

Cool if I roll with you? Yeah, of course.

[SPIRITUAL MUSIC PLAYS]
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