03x22 - See You in September?

[bunniefuu]

So, what, do you feel like having?

You.

Good choice. (LAUGHS)

You know, this is far and away

the best blind date I've ever been on.

Well, the night is still young.

I have a feeling I'm going

to want to remember every detail.

Maybe you should take notes, huh?

You wouldn't mind?

(CHUCKLES)

Whatever floats your boat, you know. (LAUGHS)

Great!

My date with Joey Harris.

(LAUGHING) That's very funny. That's good.

Stardate 8632.4.

So far this one seems different from the others.

The others... An endless stream of whining, graspy

mommy-seeking little boys who take and take and take

until I'm nothing more than an emotional husk,

brittle, dried up, the life sucked from my soul.

Check, please!

Hey, hey, hey.

Hi, Dad.

How was your blind date?

Hmm, same as always.

(GRUNTS)

So, looks like, uh, it's just the three of us, huh?

Swell.

Huh?

Oh, we're very happy to have you join us, Mr. Harris.

So what're we doin', huh?

Dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I know.

Hey, two's company, Joey's a crowd, right?

Hey, the last thing I need right now is to be lookin'

at a couple of people in love.

Hey, just k*ll me, huh?

Hi, Joe.

Joey, have you seen the moon tonight?

Ooh, nice moon.

Yeah, yeah, real romantic.

Hey, you know, there's no air up there, you know.

If you were standin' on the moon right now, your guts would explode.

Now there's a pretty picture.

You wanna talk about this, buddy?

NICOLE: Hi, Michael.

Hi, Allison. Hi, guys.

Everybody's happy. Happy, happy, happy.

Hey, depresso. Get over it.

Come on, it's a love slump. It'll pass.

Yeah, you think so, huh?

Yeah, come on, you're a hot commodity.

Look, they advertise for guys just like you.

Here, "Are you my perfect mate?

"Looking for tall, sensitive artistic type.

"Beard preferred.

"Call after 6 p.m. Ask for Ralph."

Hey, Michael. Come on.

Well, maybe he had a sister.

Very often that's the case.

Hey, hey, hey. What's that?

Hey, a letter from Sarah.

From Sa... Well, there you go.

Who's Sarah?

Joey's old girlfriend.

She moved away to San Francisco.

Hey, I'll tell you something right now.

I don't even have to open this.

She loves me, she misses me,

she cannot live without me.

"Dear Joey.

"Hope you're free two weeks from Saturday."

ALL: Ooh!

"I'll be in New York and I'd love to see you."

ALL: Ooh!

At her wedding.

ALL: Ah!

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter what you do

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter where you go

♪♪ I'm standing by your side

♪♪ I'll be right behind

♪♪ No one loves you more than I do

♪♪ Put your hand in mine

♪♪ I can see a part of me in you

♪♪ A little something special that comes shining through

♪♪ I hear it in your laughter

♪♪ And I feel it when you cry

♪♪ I will be right there for you

♪♪ Until the day I die

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter what you do

♪♪ You can count on me

♪♪ No matter where you go

♪♪ You can count on me ♪♪

NICOLE: Joey is just miserable, Judge.

Ever since he got that letter from Sarah,

we never see him anymore.

I thought they broke up.

Well, it was never really official.

After she moved out there, the phone calls tapered off

and then there were just letters.

This is the first letter he's gotten in a while.

I'll tell ya, I've never seen him this depressed.

Thing is, Sarah was the most serious relationship

he'd had in a long time.

Then she moved out there, and he was devastated.

Now she's gettin' married.

Forget it. I don't know... I can't even stand

to see him like this.

(SIGHS)

So, Nicole, you think about what you want to do this summer?

Yeah, I'd really like to go on a teen tour, if we could afford it.

Great idea.

I remember when I was a kid,

a couple of friends and I went across the country.

We took a train.

Stopped at a thousand places.

Met a million people.

Had a real wonderful time.

So you lost a girlfriend.

It's time to get on with your life, Joe.

She found somebody.

You gotta act like a man.

(CRYING) Sarah had so much life.

She, she was such a great person.

She, she was so beautiful.

Make it stop.

She was so beautiful.

She was such a beautiful...

(CHURCH MUSIC PLAYING)

Have I told you lately how, how crazy I am about you?

Michael, cut it out, you're embarrassing me.

How crazy? No, I... I mean it.

I just... I'm happy we found each other

and, and I really appreciate you, and I just...

I, I want you to know how I feel right now.

Why?

'Cause I don't want to end up like him.

(BLABBERING)

Dad, get off the floor!

Ah, (CLEARS THROAT) excuse me.

What's he doing?

He's just excited to see the baby.

See, he's in love with the bride,

and that's her baby from a former marriage,

and they were all real close before she moved moved away.

Is that so?

And so now my Dad's all upset because he figures

that she was on the rebound,

so she just married the first jerk she met.

Interesting.

So, what are you, an usher?

Nope. I'm the first jerk she met.

Nice suit. Oh, thanks.

They oughta' make 'em wear a sign or something.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRYING)

(SNORTS)

Keep it. Keep it. Thanks.

Would you get a grip on yourself?

I'm sorry.

Boy, you were right, huh?

I should have talked to her, you know.

I should have told her that I loved her,

but I just got this problem with commitment.

My guess is, she already figured that out, Joe.

Seeing as how she's marrying someone else and all.

Yeah, but what she doesn't know is how I changed.

Ever since I got that letter, I found something out.

When you find out what's right for yourself, you gotta go for it.

Well, then you learned something from all this, huh?

Something very valuable.

When you find a woman that you really care about,

then you can tell her how you feel.

Right, Joe? Joe?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

We gotta talk. Joey, this is a bad time.

Why?

Hey, don't worry about that.

It's a long song.

Hi! Wow, don't you look nice.

Hey, you know what, you know what,

since you have that beautiful dress,

why don't you get married, huh?

That'll be your thing and I'll... I'll take care of this.

No, no, I gotta talk to her, Michael.

I cannot let her go through this until she hears me out.

There are people waiting out there.

Stall 'em.

Two minutes.

All right. Two minutes. Two minutes.

Two minutes. Two minutes.

Hey, everybody.

There's a slight hitch.

But, uh, well, it's a wedding, you know, and...

Hey, maybe that's why they call it getting hitched.

Nothing.

Tough chapel.

Say what you have to say.

Yeah, well, you know I love you. Yes, I do.

Yeah, well, you know I can't move to San Francisco.

And I can't move back here.

I have a job, I have a life,

and I'm not gonna spend my life

waiting for someone who can't commit.

Hey, listen, come on, come on.

What do you say, we get out of here,

we grab a cup of coffee, we talk this thing out, huh?

Why are you doing this?

I don't know.

I can't believe I'm doin' it either.

But when you left I thought it was gonna be temporary.

I thought that sooner or later

we'd be back together again.

You knew I was dating, like I knew you were dating.

Yeah. Fine. Right.

We said that we were gonna date other people, right?

But if you were to say that we were gonna marry other people,

I would have never gone for that.

(UPBEAT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

♪♪ We'll have a barrel of fun

♪♪ Roll out the ba... ♪♪

Come on, groom's side. This is a wedding, not a wake.

Oh, you in the tux...

Let's hear it, huh?

Hello, I'm ready.

Take a hike, Shecky!

Sarah, no, wait! Joey, not now!

JOEY: It's gotta be now.

Excuse me. Ah, look, excuse me.

One second, okay. Please.

Look, look.

You don't have to tell me that you love me.

I said, "Excuse me."

Hey, look, I'm talkin' here, all right?

Look, you just tell me that you love him, all right?

You look me in the eyes and you tell me

that you love him and I walk right out of here.

I love him.

Listen, buddy... How much?

I don't know. A lot.

Like on a scale from one to 10.

All right. That's it.

Joe? (PUNCH LANDS)

Duck.

So, Joey actually chased Sarah down the aisle?

Yup.

After which a lively debate ensued,

the highlight of which was Sarah's great grandmother Lucille

leaping onto Joey and sinking her teeth into his neck.

So, how was the cake?

Ow!

They threw rice at Michael.

He got hurt from rice?

It was still in the box.

Poor Joey. Forget Joey.

It's all his fault, you know.

'Cause he doesn't think, he just does these things.

He doesn't think.

You hear that?

It's all your fault, you big ball of stupid!

Leave me alone.

You want to be alone? No problem.

Get the bricks, get the mortar,

we're gonna seal your father up forever.

Take a deep breath, moron!

I'm sorry I ruined everybody's life.

I'm scum.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

But I'll tell ya...

Couldn't feel any lower than I feel right now.

Wanna bet?

Do you know how much this dress cost?

Do you know how much the chapel cost?

The rings? The food, the champagne, the cake?

Not to mention Artie Fischer and his orchestra.

Do you think they give that money back

just because you didn't get married?

You didn't get married?

Hi. We haven't met. I'm Sarah.

Allison. Dating Michael?

Uh-huh. Yes. So, how's it going?

He needs work, but he's got a lot of potential.

Oh, I know what you mean.

But hang in there. You have to be patient with the weird ones.

Oh, absolutely.

Will you excuse me? Sure.

No, I did not get married!

No, I did not become the wife of an incredibly successful attorney.

And do you know why? Do you know why?

I'll tell you why...

You mind repeating that?

Would you rather play Scrabble, sweetie?

No, no, I'm tired.

Well, sure.

Not every day you get to see your Dad

march down the aisle with somebody else's bride.

That's gotta take it out of you.

Listen, if it's okay, I'm gonna go up to sleep.

Sure.

Judge, do you think now that Joey and Sarah are back together...

What, sweetie?

Do you think Sarah will move back to New York?

I don't know, Nicole.

G'night.

You okay?

I'm fine.

Like I said, I'm just tired.

Hey, Judge.

Joey.

Where is everybody?

Michael took Allison home.

Nicole just went up to bed.

How'd it go with Sarah's family?

Hey, I think I won 'em over.

They already got this cute little pet name for me.

What's that?

Satan.

Well, there he is, the life of the party.

Didn't happen to break up a Bar Mitzvah on the way home, did ya?

Ah, I figured I knock off early tonight.

Well, I'm outta here.

Not yet.

How come?

Because I got something to say.

I just don't know how.

What?

How you love Sarah,

and you can't let her get away again?

She can't leave San Francisco,

so you're goin' out there to be with her?

Well, that was easy.

You found a woman to love.

It's about time, you bum.

Yeah, what about that girl up there, huh?

I can't leave her.

Of course not.

You and Michael will work something out.

Joe, I've known you three years.

Your whole adult life.

(SNICKERS)

Somehow you always manage to make the right decisions.

But if you ever need me,

you call me. You understand?

Yes, ma'am.

Don't screw up.

Look, I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you first.

Okay? It's just that everything just happened so fast.

Oh, I know. I was there.

So what, you and Sarah gonna get married?

Yeah, we're talkin' about it.

Her mother froze the entire buffet just in case.

Sarah's a little skiddish on weddings right now.

So we're gonna, you know, just spend the summer together

and then we're gonna see where we stand.

Hey, you think Nicole's gonna think that I'm just,

you know, takin' off on her?

Well, maybe she wants to spend

the summer in San Francisco with you.

Better than a teen tour, right?

Thanks.

We're workin' it out already.

So, how do I tell her?

How do you tell her?

Well, she's a pretty smart kid.

My guess is she saw this comin'.

Well, it's still early.

Maybe, maybe she's still up, huh?

Hey, Slappy.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah?

You know, you let Sarah go the first time without tellin' her how you felt.

See, I'm not gonna make the same mistake.

What do you mean?

Well, I may never get this chance again.

So I wanna tell you something.

I know you my whole life.

We've been friends and, and we've been enemies and...

We've fought over women.

We fought over Nicole.

And politics, and what to eat and what to wear

and how to live and...

Did I mention women? Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

But I'll tell you something.

If I had to do it over again,

and they asked me who would I want

to share my life and, and to share my daughter with,

I would have to say Michelle Pfeiffer.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey, Nick, you awake?

Hey, honey, you awake?

I don't know what I was gonna say to you anyway.

Except maybe this is all your fault, huh?

I wouldn't know anything about commitment if it weren't for you.

Yeah, when I was all by myself,

nobody cared what I did.

Now you come along.

I knew I was gonna have to grow up.

Now I got this big king-size grown-up problem.

I got two commitments.

You and Sarah.

I'll tell you one thing right now.

I'm not gonna let either one of you down.

I just hope that you understand

by the time I figure out how to tell you.

It boils down to this.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life.

And I ain't never lettin' you go.

I love you, Nick.

You're awake, aren't you?

JOEY: Hey, how do you tell if this thing is on?

MICHAEL: The red light should be blinking.

Okay. Yeah, it's on.

All right.

NICOLE: Dear Joey.

How are you?

Things are good here.

I found this old videotape from when we first got our camera.

It's pretty funny.

Do they have VCRs in San Francisco?

Ha-ha, just kidding.

It's hard to believe it's only a couple of weeks since you left.

Michael wants to know if you're still gonna root for the Mets

when they come to San Francisco,

or if you're gonna be a traitor and root for the Giants.

I'm just finishing up at school.

My grades look good, except in Art, where I still stink.

Finals will be over soon and then you're stuck with me for the summer.

Michael misses you, Joey.

He won't admit it, but every once in a while,

he serves pizza for breakfast.

He and Allison are going strong.

If you guys have a double wedding,

we're gonna have to meet halfway, like in Kansas City.

My love to Sarah and Gracie.

I really hope things work out.

Guess you'll let us know in September.

But no matter what happens, or where you are,

you'll always be one of my two dads.

I love you.

Nicole.