01x11 - El Sid

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on "L.A. Law..."

- I would ask for a new trial

on the grounds of
AIDS Stress Syndrome.

- You didn't raise it
at trial, so it's waived.

- I just learned of the AIDS
Syndrome defense yesterday.

Ms. Van Owen told me about it.

I must move for a new trial

on the grounds that
I was incompetent

in my representation
of Mr. Appleton.

- My client's accused
of robbing a john.

This firm's biggest client
happens to be my client's alibi.

She shacked up with
Mr. Osborne in his Malibu condo.

- Regarding Harold Osborne
as a witness in your trial,

I want you to
take a look at this.

- Nice little trick, Leland.

All the dirt on Harold Osborne,

but since I've learned
it from office files,

it's privileged information
and now I can't use it.

- Victor Sifuentes does whatever
he can to protect his client.

So do I.

- Well, I won't
live with it, Leland.

I quit.

- You are in contempt,
Mr. Hershberg.

- Thank you. Thank
you, Your Honor.

Compared to this
job, jail's a pleasure.

Dirtbags in, dirtbags out.

I'm going nuts.

- Hi, Mike.

- Sid. Sorry I'm late. Traffic.

- No problem. Sit down.

- Cup of coffee?

- Yes, please.

- I already ordered.

- Just an English muffin
and grapefruit juice.

- So let me read your mind.

He looks okay, he sounds okay,

but is he really okay?

Or is he going to throw
his omelet at the next table

and punch out the busboy?

- Something like that.

How you doing, Sid?

- Great.

Really, Mike, just great.

I know it was embarrassing
as hell for everyone,

but coming unglued
in court like that

was the best thing that
ever happened to me.

I've been disregarding danger
signs for a couple of years.

I started drinking
too much at night,

then a couple of
valium to get to sleep,

lost my sex drive.

My marriage was rocky as hell.

- Yours will be up
in a second, honey.

- Anyway, it was just too much.

Something had to give.

- Well, you look great, Sid.

- Thanks. I feel great.

Couple of weeks in
the laughing academy,

a little psychotherapy,
I'm good as new.

Better.

- I'm really happy for you, Sid.

- Honey, bring me
a beer, will you?

Mike?

- It's a little
early for me, Sid.

- Uh, whatever kind you got.

- So the reason why I called.

I need a big favor, Mike.

I got a case I
just can't handle.

I'm jammed up and
I gotta be in D.C.

to argue a case in front
of the Supreme Court.

- Really?
- Yeah.

And I got this woman,
really, she's a victim.

A bunch of cops blow
into her apartment,

middle of the night,
looking for dr*gs.

She used to see some
guy who's dealing,

so they bust in looking for him.

- Was he there?
- Hell, no.

She hasn't seen him in weeks.

But they open fire.

Wounded her and k*lled her kid.

She sh**t back, self defense,

and wounds one of the cops.

They arrest her for
attempted m*rder.

She needs help, Mike,

and this Supreme Court
thing has got me crazy.

What do you say?

- Gee, Sid, I don't know.

I'm pretty jammed up myself.

- No money in it, is that it?

- No, that's not it, Sid.

You're asking me to
take on this woman's case

I know nothing about.

- Here, just look at her file.

- Sid.
- Mike...

Just look at the damn
thing, would you?

- Continuance,
continuance, continuance.

Sid, what have you been doing?

- What do you mean,
what have I been doing?

- Well, you haven't
interviewed witnesses.

You haven't argued bail.

- Hold it right there, hot sh*t.

What good's bail if
you're on welfare anyway?

That's a waste of time.

- Well, about the
other two kids?

- Don't know.

DBSS has them somewhere.

- Sid, this woman's been
in jail for five months.

She hasn't seen her kids.

All you've done is
move for continuances.

- What are you trying to
do, heap more guilt on me?

What the hell was
I supposed to do?

You want to tell me that?

I got cases up the ying yang.

Most of these people
are pure scum anyway.

I'm under extreme pressure.

I got the Supreme
Court situation

staring me in the face.

Why the hell do you think I
came to you in the first place?

- Sid, take it easy.
- You take it easy.

I mean, what am I
supposed to do here

to get a little help

from a fellow member
of the fraternity, huh,

stick my omelet on my head?

Throw food?

- Sid.
- How's that?

Don't Sid me.

- Sir, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.

- I've got a caseload so big
I can't get my briefcase shut.

I gotta catch a flight to D.C.

You think the Supreme Court
cares about my problems?

- Why don't you
just say it, Bruce?

- That's just it, Grace. I
shouldn't have to say it.

I shouldn't have to
tell my prosecutors

it's not their job to
get murderers off.

- That's not what I did.

- You had lunch with
Appleton's attorney.

You told him about this
cockamamie AIDS Stress Syndrome,

then backed up his
motion for a new trial.

- I did what I thought was
in the interest of justice.

- Great. Well, the official
response from this office

is that you screwed up.

Don't do it again, Grace.

By the way, you've been
reassigned to night court.

You start tonight.

- Is that my punishment?

- Of course not.

This office does
not punish people

for their professional conduct.

This is completely coincidental.

- How long?

- Till your reassigned or
die, whichever comes first.

- I have to work
on Christmas Eve.

- You should love that

with this new good will toward
man attitude you've developed.

Merry Christmas, Grace.

- The man just keeps
getting continuances,

continuances, continuances,

while I sit here and rot,
and now he takes off.

- Do you have
any money for bail?

Anything to put
up as collateral?

- My sister's got about 2,000.

Can you get me back
with my kids on that?

- I don't know. I can try.

I can schedule a bail motion.

- I almost forget what they
look like it's been so long.

- Nina, now, I know you've
been through this a million times,

and I know how
painful it must be,

but I need you to tell me

exactly what happened
the night of the sh**ting.

- It was the middle of the night

and I was asleep next
to Sarah, my little one.

Billy and Anna were
in the back room,

and I hear this pounding on
the door which wakes me up.

Then I heard shouting.

- Do you remember
what they were shouting?

- No. No.

All I was thinking was about
Mrs. Flood three doors down.

A month before she
got robbed and r*ped.

So I reach for my r*fle
where I keep it under my bed.

Next thing, the door
comes crashing down.

Three men come rushing
in and all I see is g*ns,

so I lift my r*fle and
somebody sh**t.

I just see this flash,

and I feel this hot
pain in my arm,

so I sh**t back.

They sh*t first, Mr. Kuzak.

I had to sh**t back to
protect my babies, my family.

- What happened then?

- I looked down...

I looked down next to me.

There's my
Sarah... my little one.

They sh*t Sarah.

They k*lled my baby.

She was just lying
there next to me.

She was so quiet, so still.

They m*rder*d my baby,

and before I could bend
down and kiss her goodbye,

they grabbed me
away and took me to jail.

I never even got to
kiss Sarah goodbye.

- Then it's agreed.

Full-time administrative
staff members,

which term, I might add,
does not embrace paralegals,

shall receive Christmas bonuses

in the amount of
three-quarters of one percent

of their per annum salaries

multiplied by the number
of years of employment.

- Isn't this a little
complicated?

- Not at all.

A secretary earning $20,000,
three years employed,

would get three-quarters
of one percent,

which comes to $150,

times three for the
three years worked,

for a total of $450.

Simple.
- Great.

Now, if we're done
with this Christmas stuff,

I'd like to address
something more serious.

Tonight's basketball game.

What are we going
to do without Victor?

- Anybody know where he is?

- No. And guys, this is the
playoffs, two out of three.

Now, we won the first
by one point with him.

We don't have a
prayer without him.

- You know, I'm still
trying to get the whole story

on why he left.

- I told you why.

I made the decision
that PetramCo Industries

was more important
than his criminal client,

and he took exception to it.

End of discussion.

- Well, I'm afraid his departure

has left this firm with
a more serious problem

than just a power forward.

We desperately need
another associate.

- How are the interviews going?

- Lousy.

December is not a
good time for hiring,

which is another reason
why I don't like Michael

taking on a pro
bono criminal case.

- Sid Hershberg is
non compos mentis,

and this poor woman's
been in jail for five months

without anybody
doing anything for her.

That may be, but how
can we take on this case

when we're so
undermanned as it is?

- Just find some help.

Hire somebody on a
temporary basis if you want,

but get it done.

- Let's get somebody
with a jump sh*t.

- I think we're adjourned.

- What's the matter
with my jump sh*t?

- Arnie, there's
an attorney here

by the name of Clarence O'Malley

who says he represents
Abby's husband.

- Where?
- I put him in your office.

I thought you'd
want to talk to him.

- All right. Tell him to wait.

I'll be there in a second.

Abby.
- Yeah?

- There's a man in my office

claiming to represent
your husband.

- Where is Erik? Is he alive?

- What are you talking about?

He's been very well cared for.

- Thank God.
- Where is he?

- Hear me out, Mr. Becker.

Mr. Perkins feels very strongly

that the boy should not be
denied the regular contact,

guidance, and support of
either one of his parents.

For that reason, he's
asked me to express to you

his desire to return
to this jurisdiction

in exchange for
certain guarantees.

- Where is my son?

- No guarantees.
Your client is a fugitive.

He's facing federal
criminal charges,

and if you're
helping to hide him,

that makes you an accessory.

- Don't you see that
it's this very atmosphere

that caused him to
leave in the first place?

- What does he want?

- He's willing to relocate

and to look for
work in this area

provided that you drop
all charges against him

and you agree to a
schedule of joint custody.

- Unacceptable and
out of the question.

- I'll convey that to my client.

- Wait. Wait. Wait.

If I agree, what'll happen?

- What do you mean,
what will happen?

- Excuse us a minute.

Abby, don't play games
with this guy. He's garbage.

- He knows where Erik is.

- Abby, you have
got to trust me.

- Arnie, you have
been telling me that

for the past four months

and nobody has been
able to do anything.

I know what I'm doing.

I want my son back.

Okay, I'll agree to it.

- Naturally, we'll want
to execute and sign

a stipulation in
advance of the hearing

to modify the existing orders.

- When can I see my son?

- Well, I have to
talk to my client

and tell him the good news,

but after that, who knows?

With everybody's good
faith and cooperation,

I don't see any reason
why I couldn't have him back

in time for Christmas.

- Pick him up. Pick him up.

- Blue ball!

- No, no, no, he pushed!

- Blue ball.
- That's unbelievable.

- Give him a technical, ref.

- You want to play the
game or help him referee?

- Let's go.
- Arnie.

- Go, Arnie!

- Pass! I'm open! I'm open!

- Baseline! Baseline!

- Ow!

- Hey, watch the elbows, goon!

- Pick him up.

Get up on him.

Stay up on him!

Tight!

Tight!

- No sh*t! No sh*t!
- Miss!

- Game can't end
on a defensive foul!

- That's football.
- Yeah, which is what

you were practically
playing out here tonight.

- Sore loser, Becker.

- Yeah, tell me
about it, Lady Bing.

- That's actionable.

Wait, you're all
witnesses. You saw him.

- Assumption of the risk, man.

- You just bought
yourself a lawsuit, buddy.

- Your play was reprehensible.

- Write your Congressman.

- Yeah, Merry Christmas, Murray.

- Hey, you think
I won't sue, huh?

- Yeah, go ahead
and try it, wimp.

- What? Huh?

- You got lucky, that's all.

- We'll see you in court
for game number three, pal.

- You guys practice law
the way you play basketball?

- Only briefs you
guys know about

is the ones you
wear on your butts.

- Hey, careful, he's a
borderline psychotic.

- Till next time, Braddock.

- We'll be back.

- Yeah, lady, come back,
and the next time wear a dress.

- Ooh.

- Them's fighting words, Jack.

- Tell you what I'm gonna do.

Because you're new
here and because I like you

and because I'm
a swell individual,

my offer to you
for one night only,

and despite the dubious
nature of the State's evidence,

I'm willing to lighten your
caseload considerably

by copping Ballard to one
count misdemeanor possession,

$250 fine, and
credit for time served.

What do you think?

- Sounds perfectly
fair, except for the fact

that Ballard had a
10-gallon trash bag

full of cocaine in his house.

No deal, Kaylins.

- Take it from me, by midnight

you'd be grateful to get
a spitting on the sidewalk

out of this squabbler.

- Right. Next?

- Okay, try this.

Escobar. You drop
the receiving count

and seven counts of burglary.

He'll cop to one count,
one year county lid.

- Or behind door number three,

a weekend in Las Vegas
and a La-Z-Boy lounger.

Well, here we go.

It's gonna be a
long night, boys.

The lady does not like to deal.

- Lawyers only, sir.

- It's okay. I usually am.

- Mickey, what are
you doing here?

- I missed you.
- Me, too.

Look, it's Friday night.

I can't believe the
judge will keep us late.

There'll be plenty of time

to pick up dinner,
decorate our tree.

- Is the D.A. ready to
call the calendar yet?

- Yes, Your Honor.

Don't go away. It
won't be that long.

- In order to avoid
any grousing later on,

I'd like to make
it perfectly clear

that we are going to clear
this calendar in its entirety

before anybody gets out of here.

So bah humbug, and
call your first case.

Defendant to remain
free on bail until that time.

Don't tell me that's a wrap?

- Thank God.

- Well, it's been a
little slice of heaven.

See you sports
fans Monday night.

- Mickey.

Honey, come on, let's go home.

- What time is it?

- Time to leave.

Let's go home and
decorate the tree.

- It's late.

- I'll make it worth your while.

You ever decorate
a tree in the nude?

- Sounds dangerous.

- Depends on where
you hang your ornaments.

- Case Number L374005,
People vs. Emmons.

- Michael Kuzak for the
defendant, Your Honor.

At this time, I would
move to substitute in

for Mr. Hershberg as
Ms. Emmons' counsel.

- Is this what you
want, Ms. Emmons?

- Yes, Judge.

- No objections, Your Honor.

- Mr. Kuzak may
substitute in as counsel.

- Thank you, Your Honor.
As counsel for Ms. Emmons,

I would move at this
time for bail modification.

- Your client is
currently being held

in lieu of $100,000
bail, is that correct?

- Yes, Your Honor,

which I would argue
is excessively high,

as Ms. Emmons has no
history of prior violent activity

and poses no thr*at
to the public safety.

- She's been charged
with the attempted m*rder

of a police officer.

- One isolated
incident, Your Honor,

where a woman was defending
herself and her children

in her own home

against three men she
thought were intruders.

- She has priors, Your Honor.

- Prostitution in 1978

and possession of
marijuana in 1979.

No police contact
at all since then.

- What are you
looking for, Mr. Kuzak?

- Your Honor, Ms. Emmons
has lived in L.A. all of her life.

She has two small children,
roots in the community.

I would submit
that she be released

on her own recognizance.

- OR is absurd

under the circumstances
of aggravated as*ault.

The lowest I'm willing
to go is $50,000.

- That would seem reasonable.

- She's a mother on
welfare, Your Honor.

50,000 would be the
same as no bail at all.

- $25,000. That's the best
I can give you, Mr. Kuzak.

- Next case.

- I see you're an associate
at Styer, Rhodes & Fishbein.

- Mm-hmm.

- How long have
you been with them?

- About 18 months.

- You know, Don Fishbein and I

went to law school together.

- Oh, yeah?

- Does Don know you
have plans to defect?

- I don't have a
whole lot of dealings

with any of the
partners directly.

- I see. Why McKenzie Brackman?

- Good rep, good pay,

and also I just bought
this condo in Bunker Hill.

You guys are so close, I
could ride my bike here.

- Sorry, Douglas. I was
on a conference call.

- Quite all right. You
haven't missed much.

Meet Randy Heidelberg.

- Heidegger.

- Mr. Heidegger
was just telling me

about his illustrious
career at Styer Rhodes.

- Styer Rhodes is a graveyard.

You'd be much happier here.

- Hypothetically speaking.

- Tell us about your
outside interests, Randy.

Sports?

- I ride my bike and I work out.

- Play any ball?

- Four-year starter
at Boston College.

- Counselor.

- This one I think
is really good.

What do you think of this one?

- It's okay.

- You like this one better?

- It's fine.

- Ann, I would really like
your opinion on this, you know.

- Stuart, fabric is fabric.

- How come you get so snappish

every time you get within
10 feet of this place?

- I am not snappish.

- Oh.

Well, correct me
if I'm wrong here,

but you said you
would do the office

in Santa Fe colors, right?

Now, I've got adobe
and I have sand.

- Stuart.
- Excuse me.

- Forgive me if I
happen to think

that in the cosmic
order of things,

fabric selection is
not way up there.

Now, I've got a
lot of work to do.

Excuse me.

- Why don't you admit it, Ann?

You're just mad about
losing the office to me.

- I am not mad.

- Yeah, you are. You
know how mad you are?

You haven't even
asked me how my eye is.

- How is your eye, Stuart?

- It hurts.

And you're not
going to believe this.

I mean, you were
there, you saw it.

The guy deliberately
threw an elbow at me, right?

Now he's suing me.

- Unbelievable.

- Yeah. A process server

was waiting outside
my door this morning.

It's just an intimidation
tactic, though.

He's trying to neutralize
my naturally aggressive style

for the playoffs, you
know what I mean?

- What is it?

The rampant Y chromosome?

- What do you mean?

- Sometimes I truly
fail to understand

how your sex can become
so totally competitive

about every single
thing in the world.

- Elizabeth.
- Hmm?

- Can you raise Robert Scanlon?

He's at the city
attorney's office.

- Sure, right away.

Oh, by the way, Michael,
Victor just came in.

- Where?

- He's in his office.

- I called you maybe 20 times.

Thanks a whole hell of a
lot for returning my calls.

- Well, there was
nothing really to talk about.

The great white
father shafted me.

- Fact of life in
a law firm, Victor:

sometimes you
have to compromise.

You knew that going in.

- Well, not this.

Believe me, you wouldn't
have put up with this crap either.

- I've withdrawn
from plenty of cases

when there was a conflict
that would have hurt the firm.

- Yeah, and I would've too
if I would've had the chance.

McKenzie dropped
the entire PetramCo file,

complete with Osborne's tax
fraud convictions on my lap.

I mean, the minute
I took a look at it,

I didn't have a choice.

I had to pull out.

- That's privileged
communication.

I can't believe he'd
do a thing like that.

- Right. The man
suckered me, Mike.

I'm sorry. I won't work
with people like that.

- Well, I'm not going
to defend him. I can't.

But you came here
to work with me.

- And when you open up your
own firm free of the baggage,

let me know.

- We were just getting started.

I gave you my chair,
for crying out loud.

- Look, nobody said it wasn't
good while it lasted, Mike.

- What are you gonna do?

- I got a couple of days'
worth of paperwork to close out,

and then I'm gone.

There's a hiring freeze
over the PD's office.

That's okay.
Something will turn up.

- Victor, I wish
you'd think about this.

- That's all I've been doing
for the past three days, Mike.

I'm not going to change my mind.

- At this time, Your Honor,

we'd like to read
into the record

a stipulation regarding
temporary custody,

both legal and physical
pending further orders.

- I must say, I find these
developments surprising

considering the
previous allegations,

v*olence, alcoholism,
kidnapping.

- Well, there's been a
great deal of mudslinging

on both sides, Your Honor,

but both parties have agreed
to set aside their differences

in order to spare the minor
child any further anguish.

- Where is the respondent
husband, Mr. O'Malley?

- He and the minor child are
in this jurisdiction, Your Honor,

but upon advice of counsel,

they're not at the
present hearing.

- Frankly, Mr. Becker,
I'm surprised

that you're joining
in this motion.

Did you recommend to your client

that this schedule be accepted?

- I outlined what I thought were
the options open to my client.

I believe the decision she
made was an informed one.

- Mrs. Perkins, did you not
testify previously under oath

that your husband was violent
and you were afraid of him?

- Yes, Your Honor, but
that's only when he's drinking,

and his attorney has assured
me that that's no longer a problem.

- I have affidavits, Your Honor,

as to his current sobriety

and his participation in an
alcohol recovery program.

- Mrs. Perkins,
is it your feeling

that you can work
with Mr. Perkins

and cooperate
with him effectively

on all decisions insofar
as they affect your son?

- Yes, Your Honor.

- And do you accept
these terms knowingly

and of your own
volition, Mrs. Perkins?

- I do.

- Very well.

So entered.

This court is in recess.

- Well, seeing that
everything turned out so well,

I have a little
surprise for you.

- Erik?

- Hi, Abs.

- Erik.

- Go to mommy.

Go on, Erik.

- Honey?

- Go to your mother, son.

Erik! Erik!

- Is this a social call, Mike?

- Actually I'm
looking for a favor.

- As regards?

- Nina Emmons.

Police sh*t and k*lled
her five-year-old daughter.

- Both border rights
and the grand jury

found it to be an accidental
death in the line of duty.

- That remains to be seen.

- And you're here to talk about

the wrongful death action
you're going to file, huh?

- Not really.

I'm here to ask your help
in getting an OR release.

She's been in jail
for five months,

no contact with her kids.

It's Christmas.

I want to get her out.

- Speaking of which, you hear
the latest on Sid Hershberg?

- What now?

- He was arrested at LAX.

Apparently, he was
advising passengers

that their constitutional
rights were being violated

by having to walk
through a metal detector.

- Did he hit anyone?

- Security guard.

The got him in the
psycho ward at County.

- Poor guy.

- In any event, I wish
I could help you out,

but I got nothing to do
with the criminal case.

- But that's the whole point.

There shouldn't be a
criminal case and you know it.

- She sh*t a police officer.

- In self-defense,

and only after he
failed to identify himself.

- Criminal charges
are determined

by the District Attorney,
Mike, as you well know.

You're lobbying
the wrong office.

- The City Attorney represents
the city and the department,

and you will be involved
in a wrongful death claim.

Have a heart, Bob.

This woman has been
completely victimized

first by an
incompetent attorney,

and now by your office.

The only reason she's in jail

is you know if you don't
charge her with the crime,

you're a sitting duck on
the wrongful death case.

- Look, counselor,
your client sh*t a cop.

She was charged accordingly.

You got a problem
with the criminal case,

take it up with the DA.

You want to file
a civil suit, fine.

I'm right here waiting for you.

In the meantime, you're so hot
to have her out for Christmas,

you think she's such a victim,

you put up her bail.

- Come on, this won't take long.

- Stuart, truthfully,
I don't have time

to look at any
more sofa swatches.

- You won't have
to. It's finished.

Well, what do you think?

- What do you think I think?

It's beautiful.

I hope you'll be
very happy in it.

- Only if you are.

It's your office, Ann.

- What?

No.

- Mm-hmm. Merry Christmas.

- Absolutely no way.

- Why not?

- Because I would
never forgive myself.

I'd always think
that I had guilted you

into giving it to me.

- Yeah. But what if it makes
me happy to give it to you?

- Thanks anyway,
Stuart, but I can't.

- You guys want to excuse
us for a second, please?

- Don't be a schnook. Take it.

- Sit.

Now, you wanted this office.

Yeah, I wanted it, too.
So did Arnie Becker.

But I wanted it
for symbolic value,

to prove my equality
as a partner in this firm,

and I loved getting this office.

Now I love giving it to you.

And if you don't have the good
sense to accept it graciously,

I'll walk down the hall.

I'm sure Arnie Becker will
be glad to take it off my hands.

- But Stuart...
- No. No buts.

- Well, I guess if you
leave me no other choice...

Thanks, Stuart. I love it.

Do I look like a mogul?

- A beautiful mogul.

- I like your style, kid.

Great little tush,
nice pair of legs.

You wanna mess around?

- As far as the
associate candidates go,

on the merits it's
not much of contest.

Smollen is top 10 in
his class at Stanford,

Order of the Court...

- I don't think he'd fit in.

- He's a Law Review
Editor from Stanford,

top 10 in his class.

- A law firm is more than
a place of work, Douglas.

It's a collection of people.

We have to have
chemistry, harmony.

Smollen is a dork.

The best of the lot without
question is Randy Heidegger.

- You've got to be joking.

The man is
practically incoherent.

- The man is six
feet eight inches tall.

- Hey, I move we offer him

a two-week trial
run with an option.

- Will he go for it?

- What have we
got to lose by trying?

- How can you choose him

over a Law Review
Editor from Stanford?

- Make him an offer as well.

- Okay by me.

- Hold on.

Before we start taking
on new associates,

I want to talk about
Victor Sifuentes.

- I don't know what
there is to talk about.

He quit.

- It's not that simple
and you know it.

You never discussed
the situation with him.

- You know what he's like
when he's representing a client.

He goes for the
jugular and can't let go.

- Nonsense. He
would have withdrawn

for the good of the firm.

You never gave him the chance.

- I couldn't take the chance.

What would you have me do,
lose our single biggest client?

Have you any idea

what the fallout from
that would have been?

- Well, what about the fallout

when word gets out that we
betrayed an associate's trust?

At the very least you could
have discussed it with me.

I'm the one who brought him in.

- You were tied up with
your death penalty case,

and I had to make a decision.

There was no time
for a bloody vote.

- Well, it was a lousy decision.

You panicked and you cost us

a damn good
lawyer in the process.

- Excuse me, but
is there something

that I'm not understanding here?

- What you are not understanding

is that Leland slipped
Victor the Osborne file

and told him to review it.

As soon as he saw the
Osborne tax fraud conviction,

he had to withdraw
on a conflict of interest

whether he liked it or not.

- I did what I felt I had to,

and frankly, I don't
think it's that close a call.

- With all due respect, if
what Michael says is true,

I think it was the
totally wrong call.

- Stuart, you got an opinion?

- Yes, sir.

I didn't know
Victor all that well,

but if somebody did
that me, I'd have to quit.

- Come in.

- May I sit?

It may be too little,
too late, Victor,

but I'm hoping you'll
accept my sincerest apology

for the way I behaved

and reconsider
your decision to quit.

- I accept the apology.

I don't think I'll change my
mind about leaving, though.

- Not to excuse what I did,

it was foolish and it was venal,

and most of all disrespectful,

but these things can
happen wherever you go.

- What's to prevent it
from happening again?

- Well, I hope I'm old enough
to learn from my mistakes.

It's quite possible

you might occasionally
make a mistake yourself,

and you'd have the right

to expect the same forgiveness
and tolerance from me

that I'm asking from you.

- I have to be able to trust
the people that I work with.

- Yeah, well, if I
didn't trust you,

it's because I didn't know you.

I hope you'll at least stay on

long enough for
me to remedy that.

Will you think about it?

- Yes.

- You're as talented
an associate

as we've had, Victor.

It'll be the firm's loss

and my failure should you leave.

- You may want to peruse this
division of property schedule.

- Are you kidding?
There's nothing here.

- Which means really the only
substantive issues to address

are alimony and child support.

- What are you offering?

- We're requesting alimony
in the amount of $250 a week.

- What?

- Until Mr. Perkins gets
back on his feet financially,

at which time, obviously,

he'll want to assume his
fair share of child support.

- This man cleaned
out their joint accounts,

both checking and savings,
to the tune of over $3,000.

He borrowed another 1,500
against their credit cards,

and you want us not
only to waive child support,

but you're looking
for alimony as well?

- Mrs. Perkins' gross
income is $875 per week,

plus medical and pension,

which projects out to $45,500
per annum before bonuses.

Mr. Perkins, on the other hand,

has no income at
the present time.

- Which projects out
to zero per annum.

- Mr. Perkins fully expects to
locate meaningful employment.

He has no desire

to indefinitely freeload
off of Mrs. Perkins.

- Oh, how long does
Mr. Perkins intend to freeload?

- Sorry. That was an
unfortunate choice of phrasing.

We're simply availing ourselves

of the current statutes,
which make no distinction

between parties based on gender,

but simply on the
ability to provide.

- How can you have the
gall, after what you did,

to come in here and
ask me to support you?

It's immoral.

- Morality is not the
issue here, Mrs. Perkins.

Reality is.

The reality is that
Mr. Perkins needs more time

to reestablish his
ties to the community.

- Excuse me.

The reality is that this
bastard stole my son.

He stole my money, he
stole my piece of mind.

- Excuse me.

Counselor, this abusive behavior

is not going to solve anything.

- Abusive?
- Abby, come on.

- No. No, no, no. I
will not "come on."

Let me tell you about abusive.

Abusive is not being
able to see your child

for months on end, not
knowing where he is,

not being able to tell
him that you love him,

praying that his
father doesn't get drunk

and k*ll him a car wreck,

and then finally
getting him back

and having him punch you

because he thinks that
you abandoned him.

- I don't have to
put up with this crap.

- Get out my life
and you don't have to.

- You ought to be
grateful I brought him at all.

Instead I'm hearing the same
kind of manipulative garbage

that drove me away
in the first place.

- You are a coward
and a criminal.

Give him whatever he wants.

Write it up and I'll sign it.

But I am not going to sit here
and listen to anymore of this.

- What, no luck?

- No answer.

I don't know what
could be wrong.

The guy said he'd be here.

- What's wrong is your
Mr. Heidegger is an idiot.

He reminds me of one
of those big dinosaurs

with the little head and the
brain the size of a peanut.

- Meanwhile, we're gonna
have to take these guys on

four against five.

- No, you won't.

- Victor.
- Hey.

- I thought you were
permanently retired.

- I had to come back and
save your bacon, didn't I?

- Seriously, you
coming back to work?

- Yeah, we worked things out.

- All right.

- That's great, really great.

I'm really delighted.

- Well, come on,
get suited up, let's go.

- Right.

- You're practically a living
legend over at criminal court.

- Oh, yeah?

- But I stood up for you.

I said no way the
guy's that stupid

he posted bail for his client.

I was right, wasn't I?

- I take the fifth.

- You are that
stupid, aren't you?

- I figure she's good for it.

- Anyway, that's the
real reason I came back.

I mean, somebody's
gotta look out for you.

- All right, let's go, Victor.

- Hey, hey, hey, get
off the court. Yo, ref.

- Please take a seat
in the stands, sir.

We're about to start the game.

- Who's Harris DeKay?
- Right here.

- Season's greetings.

- What the hell is this?

- A summons and a complaint.

- For what?

- Abuse of process
for malicious litigation.

I'm Mr. Markowitz's attorney.

- Oh, get out of here.
- Hey!

- Break it up. Break
it up. Break it up.

You two want to sue each
other, do it somewhere else.

You've got a game to play.

- All right!

- All right!

- Okay, guys. Okay.
- All right, All right.

- Whoo!

- Switch off! Switch off!

Hurry. Pick him up!

- Time out!

Time, Blue.

- Randy.

- We got a substitution, ref.

- Wait a minute, who's he?

- He's our new center.

- You can't bring a
ringer in the game.

League rules stipulate

the roster has to be
announced before the game,

and he has to be a lawyer.

- Weren't you listening,
Murray? We just hired him.

- I want to see a paystub,

and I demand to see some
letterhead with his name on it.

- Is he legit?

- We brought him
on this afternoon.

- Yo, ref, I want you to know

we're playing this
game under protest.

- Every game I ever
officiated with you guys

was played under protest.

- Take it to the
commissioner, Murray.

- Where were you?

- I had to get my knee brace.

I've got a lot of
cartilage damage.

- The guy's a gimp.
- Get out.

- All right, guys, come on.

- Whoa!

- Sid.

How you doing?

- Look at me.

Penned up like some
kind of dog in the pound.

It's a hell of a thing.

I'm sorry about all this, Mike.

- Don't worry about it.

Worry about getting better.

- They have me on
some kind of drug.

I'm pretty cooled out.

- Oh, I wanted you to know I
got Nina Emmons out on bail.

We got a really
short court date.

I think we're gonna
have a happy ending.

- Great.

That's great.

I can't thank you enough.

- Forget it.

- Hey, Mike... I
want to explain.

You know all that stuff about
my Supreme Court case?

All that was crap.

I was just so scared I
was going to blow it for her,

I didn't trust myself
to go into court.

- It's all going
to work out, Sid.

Don't b*at yourself up over it.

- Oh, God, I don't know
what's happening to me.

I go along feeling okay,

and then suddenly
with no warning,

it's like this wave just
comes up from my gut

and then it moves
through my chest,

and then when it
gets to my eyes,

I gotta throw something
or hit someone.

I'm not a violent man, Mike.

I'm so ashamed of myself.

- Hey, Sid, everything's
gonna be okay.

- What if it's not?

What if it's never okay again?

- Look at me.

I'm 44 years old

and I'm locked up
in a rubber room.

Look at this.

I can't even wipe my own nose.

What's happening to me?

- Sid. Sid.