01x04 - Me and Mr. T

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

Oh, here's-
here's your pencils.

And...

here's some milk money.

This is
a hundred-dollar bill.

Yeah, in case
you want some cookies.

Dad, you don't understand.

The whole point

I want to go to
public school is...

'cause I just want to be
a regular kid.

And regular kids
don't go up to the milk counter

and say,
"Make mine chocolate.

Can you break a hundred?"

Good point.

To tell you the truth,

I like your attitude.

I admire you for it.

If you want to be
a regular kid,

I want you
to be a regular kid.

Thanks.

Jenkins,
is Ricky's limo ready?

Dear Colonel Ludlow,

thank you
for submitting your idea

for a new fast-food chain.

I'm always on the lookout

for good
investment opportunities.

However,

there may be
a wrinkle or two

in your dream for opening
a coast-to-coast chain

of Colonel Ludlow's
Southern Fried Robins.

See, many people
think of robins

as the first sign of spring,

not a tasty snack food.

So, I am returning your idea

along with your...

Bucket O' Robin...

unopened.

Cordially yours,
Edward Stratton III.

Kate,
I'm worried about Ricky.

He should've been
home from school by now.

Edward,
it's his first day.

There's no reason
to worry about him.

[TIRES SCREECH]

That's the limo, Kate.

I see Jenkins.

He's getting out.

I see Ricky!

Kate, my son made it home
from school!

Congratulations.
You must be very proud.

Yeah!

Well, I always knew
he'd make it.

Ricky!

Hi, Dad.

Good night, Dad.

Hold it.

That isn't the eye
you left with this morning.

What happened to you?

Got hit. Good night.

Good night?
It's not even dark yet.

Well, it is to me.

Ricky,
were you fighting?

Well, sort of.

The other guy
threw the punches,

and I caught them.

Why did he hit you?

Well, some kids saw me

getting out of the limo
this morning,

and they put
two and two together

and figured out
I was a rich kid.

I knew I should've had Jenkins
take you in the Ferrari.

Sure, hindsight. Mm-hmm.

Then what happened?

Well, in history class,
before the teacher came in,

this big guy
came over to me

and told me to give him
my milk money.

Well, you didn't
give it to him, did you?

No. I told him
it was my milk money

and couldn't have it.

Problem is,
I don't think he heard me.

Why not?

Well, when I said it,
he was standing on my face.

Well, that's it. That's it.

I'm taking you
out of that w*r zone

and putting you in
a private school.

Nobody will b*at up on you
for being a rich kid there.

And when you want milk,
you just sign your room number.

Dad, I like
being a regular kid.

And I want to go to school
with other regular kids.

Let me handle this problem
myself.

Please let me stay in
public school.

Okay. But you and I

are going down there
together tomorrow,

and we're gonna
straighten out this bully.

What's his name?

Ox.

Ox. Yeah,
it's never Rodney, is it?

Dad, you can't
go to school with me.

That's all I need.
"Hey, the rich kid

brought his father
to fight his battles."

That'll make me real popular.

Edward, maybe Ricky's right.

He's a big boy now,

and he wants to handle this
by himself.

But maybe, just in case
it happens again,

you should be more prepared.

I'm gonna give you
some self-defense hints.

Okay, great.

Take this r*pe whistle.

Just blow into it
whenever you get att*cked.

Well, a whistle
can attract attention.

And it can bring help.

I'd like to handle
this problem myself.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

I think I've got sneaker breath.

Kate, what am I gonna do?

I can't just allow people
to stand on my son.

Maybe you should just trust him
to handle it himself.

[SCOFFS]

Well, besides, you can't
be with him all the time.

Well, I know I... can't.

I can't.

But...

Uh-oh.

What?

Well, for a second there,

I thought you were
getting an idea.

I was.

Uh-oh.

Hi, Clarence.

Hi, Ricky.

Are you gonna give Ox
your milk money today?

Nope. I've got my pride.

Oh, yeah?

You didn't
look so proud yesterday

with Ox's shoelaces
coming out of your nose.

It's milk-money time.

This ain't good, dead meat.

My name's Ricky.

Not anymore.

Now, you realize

I'm gonna have to
stand on you again.

I'm not afraid of you.

Hey, hey,
did you hear that?

The rich kid
ain't afraid of me.

I'm afraid of you, Ox.

You're a good boy, Clarence.

Now give.

Not a chance.

Goodbye, rich kid.

Who are you?

I'm Ricky Stratton's
personal bodyguard.

You're my bodyguard?

I don't want a bodyguard.

Hey, kid. This isn't
the thrill of my life, either.

But your father
hired me to do a job,

and I'm gonna do it.

Anybody mind?

ALL: No!

Not me.

Now who's Ox?

The fat guy.

[BOY COUGHS]

Where you sit?

Behind Richard, sir.

Not anymore.
I'm sitting there.

Do you mind?

Oh, no. No.

Please.

All right, class.

Now, I'm sorry I'm late.

If we'll all just settle down,
then we can-- Oh!

Uh, well...

excuse me, sir,
but class is about to begin,

and I'm afraid
you'll have to leave.

No.

Fine.

Observers
are always welcome.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Ricky, is he with you?

Fine. Fine.

MISS CAMPBELL: Okay.

[SIGHS]

Okay, now today,
we are going to learn about

the Declaration of Independence.

Why did my father
send you here?

Because he cares.
Face front.

Who was talking?

Me.

Fine. Fine.

All right. Uh,
now, who can tell me

where the
Declaration of Independence

was signed?

Ricky?

It was signed in Philadelphia.

Right.

And now, who can tell me
in what year was it drafted?

Clarence?

1776.

Very good.

Now, who can tell me
what brought about

the need for the
Declaration of Independence?

Yes.

Simply put, the colonists

were being unfairly taxed
by the English Crown

without having any input

into the way
they were being governed.

Or as this is
most commonly known--

taxation
without representation.

Excellent, Mister... uh...

T.
Uh-huh.

Do you have a first name?

First name is Mr.

Middle name
is that period.

Last name T.

Fine, fine.

Psst, psst.

It's nothing.

She says
she thinks you're cute.

Mr. T, will you be joining us
every day?

Yeah.

Fine, fine.

[STAMMERING]

Uh, excuse me, class.
I'll be back in a minute.

I'm just having
an anxiety att*ck.

[ALL CLAMORING]

[MR. T, INDISTINCT]

[SHOUTS]

Yaah. Yaah.

Score!

Ha ha ha.
Isn't this great, Kate?

I don't know how
to play yet.

I know.
Isn't this great, Kate?

Score!
Well, that's game, Kate.

Great exercise, huh?

Yeah, I'm winded.

But I am glad to see

you're a lot more relaxed
than you were yesterday.

Why not?
My son's in good hands.

Edward, your son
is in huge hands.

Just won't admit

this is a good idea,
will you, Kate?

Mr. T is the best.

I don't know why
you don't like him.

Well, he scares me.

Kate, he's just like
me and you.

Edward,
we don't have mohawks.

Kate, it's not a mohawk.

He's a descendant of
the African Mandinka tribe.

That's how they wear
their hair.

Edward, we're in New York.
It's a mohawk.

Okay. You tell him.

Hi. Nice hair.

EDWARD: Hey, son.
How was school?

We have to talk, Dad.

No need to thank me, son.

Just the fact that your nose
is in the same place

as when you left this morning
is all the thanks I need.

I've never been
so humiliated.

He scared the classroom,

he scared the schoolteacher,

and worst of all,

he got a hundred
on a history test.

Hey, man, I don't hold back
for nobody.

Well, Ricky, I-I...

At lunchtime, Dad,
he even tasted my food.

Was that necessary,
Mr. T?

Look, man, you hired me because
I'm the best in the world,

and I never lost a client.

If there's a g*n,
I take the b*llet.

If there's a Kn*fe,
I take the blade.

I don't work for people
who I ain't willing to die for.

And besides,

that food in the cafeteria'll
k*ll you.

I don't need this, Dad.

I really don't need this.

I mean, like,

these are supposed to be
my carefree years.

Son, I just want you
to be safe.

Dad, the kids hate me.

I'm a laughingstock.

Nah. They're just jealous.

It's not jealousy, Dad.
It's hate.

Pure hate.

Please let me handle this
my own way.

Please, no limo,
no bodyguard.

Just me telling Ox that
he can't have my milk money.

[SCOFFS] Tell him
what a silly plan that is.

The kid
makes a lot of sense.

Uh... ahem.

Mr. T.

You see,
you work for me.

So that means
I'm your boss.

You're touching me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

See, the point-- the point is--
the point is here--

ahem-- that Ox
is a lot bigger than my son.

Yeah. Much.

Oh, then we agree on that.
Good.

Well, now, see,
wouldn't you also agree

that you two are wrong,
and I'm right?

No.
But I am right.

Hey, why don't you
let the kid live his own life?

Now wait just a second--

sir.

[CLEARS THROAT]

See, I'm-I'm-
I'm Ricky's father.

And-And I'd like to raise him
with no interference from you.

You talking to me?

Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm talking
to you. Yes, yes, I am.

You're irritating me.

Well, well,
you're irritating me.

So?

So butt out!

Oh, Dad, just a wee bit
of caution here.

Son, let me handle this
my way.

Your way is dumb.

I thought I told you
to butt out.

And if I don't,
what you gonna do about it?

I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do about it.

I'm gonna invite you
outside.

That's what
I'm gonna do about it.

You forget that
I'm much bigger than you.

Well, I don't care.

Well, Ox is bigger than Ricky,

but still he got the guts
to stand up to him.

Why don't you let him?

Because he--

You know,
you got a point.

I wanna thank you
for helping me see the light.

You're touching me.

Right. And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

But see, I'd like to be alone
with my son now,

so why don't you go ahead
in the kitchen

and help yourself
to everything?

[DOORS OPEN]

I guess I owe you
an apology.

I sure haven't been helping you
much these past few days.

Listen, Rick...

you're my son,

and I can't stand
the thought of you being hurt.

So I know. I-I-I know.

I didn't-I didn't
handle this very well,

but...

I'm kind of new at this
father stuff, you know.

I'm gonna make mistakes
sometimes.

I sure hope that you have

an awful lot of patience
with me because...

I only make 'em
'cause I love you.

I've got
plenty of patience, Dad.

Dad?

Yeah?

Your shoulder's
in my bad eye.

Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

Hey, Rick, one thing--

now, when this Ox guy

comes up and asks you
for the milk money tomorrow,

what are you
gonna say to him?

Well, I don't know yet,

but I'll think of something,
though.

Oh, I have to.

Mr. T called Ox
by his real name today.

Hobart.

Ooh, Ox is so mad.

[LAUGHS]

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I have a little problem here
myself.

How do I tell Mr. T
I want to let him go?

Oh, that's no problem.

Hey, Mr. T?

Yeah?

It's okay.
You can go now.

Good.

Hey, this is tasty.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hi, Clarence.

Word's out you don't have
Mr. T anymore.

Ox is gonna get you.

Everybody, listen to me.

Please listen to me.

Look, I know you guys
resent me

'cause I'm the rich kid
around here.

But we've all got
something in common.

Ox is taking
what belongs to us.

Together, we can stop him.

Can't take us all.

Remember what they say?

Rally around the flag, boys.

Don't tread on us.

What do you say?
You with me?

Okay.

You guys gotta live
your own lives.

I just know
I can't live mine being afraid.

You're dead meat,
you rich little wimp.

I'm gonna make you
pay for this.

And you, don't think I forgot
that "fat guy" cr*ck, either.

Hey, lay off Clarence.

Okay. For now.

'Cause it's milk-money time.
Cough up the cash.

For the last time, I'm not
giving you my milk money,

Hobart.

ALL: Ooh.

That's it. I'm gonna
cave in your whole body.

Listen, Ox,
if you b*at me up today,

I'm comin' back tomorrow.

If you b*at me up then,
I'm still coming back.

There's no way I'll ever
give you my milk money.

So you're just gonna
have to b*at me up

for the rest
of the school year.

Okay.

[CLASSMATES SHOUTING]

I'm sick of eating cookies
and water.

Well, you'll be gumming
your cookies from now on

'cause I can take on
you two wimps.

I could take on
all three of you.

Well, Hobart?

You can't take us all.
It's your move.

I-I come to school
to-to learn.

So, I'm just gonna
sit in my desk

until the teacher gets back.

Can I?

Well, I guess so.

Face the front!

[ALL CHEERING]

Come on.

Yeah.

Ricky, even though
you are rich,

we want you to know
that you're one of the g*ng.

You're a real regular guy.

Hey, thanks, guys.

Yeah.

One more thing--

can I borrow $5,000?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Nice try.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪