01x14 - The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[TOOT TOOT]

Okay, Phil. This is where
you get off, buddy.

Come on. There you go.

All buckled up for safety.

Yeah.

We'll stand you about here.

Good.
You look pretty good, huh?

Ha ha ha.

Edward,
what do you think?

I think it looks great,
Kate, just great.

Thanks to you, the Badger Ball
should be a big success.

Well, I've never given a party
for 12-year-olds before.

I certainly hope
I've struck the right balance

between understated elegance
and...

[LIKE 12-YEAR-OLD BOY]
total awesomeness, man,

you know what I mean?

[LIKE 12-YEAR-OLD]
For sure, you know.

I can't believe 12-year-olds
having a date party.

When I was 12 years old,
all I could think about

were games
and electric trains.

Seems like
a million years ago.

All I remember when I was 12
was being very unhappy.

I developed too fast.

I towered over
all the boys.

Well, Kate,
look at it this way.

You may have been miserable,

but the boys you had to
dance with were ecstatic.

Edward.

Want to dance?

Edward.
Not me, not me.

What I love about you
is your mind.

Oh. Uh, where's Ricky?

He and the other Badgers
conveniently took a hike.

Good. Oh.

Everybody stay close to me.

I've only explored
the first chamber of the cave.

[WINGS FLUTTERING]

Wh-Wh-What was that?

Probably just a bat.

Oh.

A bat?

Get ahold of yourself.

You want to wake up
the tarantulas?

T-Tarantulas.

Knock it off, Derek.

You shouldn't go around
trying to scare people.

Hey, and besides,

what's that scorpion
doing on your shoulder?

Ha ha ha ha.

Nice guy.

Hey, look.

Hi, guys.

J.T., it's good
to see you, buddy.

Yeah, all right.

Nice hideout
you got here, Rick.

Well, guys,
J.T. has come through again.

I got here an item here

that is guaranteed
to turn the Badger Ball

into a humongous blowout.

It's my own
homemade love potion.

Love potion?

What's in it?

All you gotta do
is mix a little ginger ale,

some 7-Up
and a little bit of Dr. Pepper.

Then you throw in
a vitamin E tablet.

After that
comes my special ingredient--

Tabasco sauce.

Hey, Rick,
who's your date tonight?

Marcy Thompson.

All right.
She's a real fox.

Yeah.

Hey, she really
knows how to kiss, too.

Hey, Freddy. What girl
humiliated herself

and said
she'd come with you?

Sylvia Crane did.

Well, from the neck up,
she's bow-wow city.

But I did hear
she wears a bra.

It's not really a bra,
Derek.

She just fractured a rib.

Who you taking, J.T.?

The one and only...

Cindy Fairchild.

[BOYS OOHING]

She's in the ninth grade.

Hey, I'm not satisfied with
a mere girl.

I need a woman.

Let's see,
is there anybody here

who hasn't mentioned
their date yet?

Well, Taylor...

we're waiting.

Why should I tell you guys
who I'm bringing?

Oh, so you don't have a date.

Again.

[MOCKING LAUGHTER]

I do, too.
Her name's Gloria Stevenson.

You know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking
there's no such person

as Gloria Stevenson.

There is, too.

I mean, she's the most
beautiful girl in the world.

She makes Cindy Fairchild
look like, um...

Freddy.

Gloria'll be there, J.T.

Care to make
a little wager?

Five bucks says

you don't show up
with a date at all.

Oh, yeah, J.T.?

Five bucks?

Why not make it ten?

You're on.
All right.

Now I gotta go
wash my hand.

See you tonight, Rick.

Bye-bye, J.T.

Meanwhile, I think
I'll go down to the mall

and check out the action.

Oh, ca-can I
come with you, J.T.?

Yeah, but keep
your distance.

I wouldn't want people to think
you hang around with me.

I-I-I don't blame you, J.T.

Come on,
let's go home.

Uh, Rick...

how about that J.T.?

Boy, that'll be the easiest
ten bucks I ever made.

What a sap.

Come on.
Rick...

Think you can get me a date
for tonight?

I had a hunch
there was no Gloria Stevenson.

Derek, if you didn't
have a date,

then why'd you make a bet?

I didn't want to be humiliated
in front of the guys.

Derek, the party's
in a couple of hours.

I can't get you a date.

[RUMBLING]

What's that?

Rick, look out.

Oh, that was close.

That thing just missed me
by inches.

I could've been k*lled.

You saved my life,
Derek.

Hey, I did, didn't I?

Yeah.

Well, you know what
that means, don't you?

What?

You owe me.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Oh, no.

Of all the people in the world
to save my life,

why did it have to be
Derek Taylor?

What, you giving thanks?

No. I'm praying for
another cave-in.

Hi, Cheryl?

Hi, this is
Ricky Stratton. Hi.

I know this is last-minute,

but I'm having
a party tonight,

and I'd really love it
if you would come.

You will? Great. Great.

By the way, you'll be
Derek Taylor's date,

so if you'll just-- Hello?

Hello?

Ricky.
Son, are you all right?

Derek said you were
almost crushed to death.

I didn't mean to alarm
your father, Rick.

I just simply assumed
that you told him

the stirring story
of how I saved your life

with absolutely no regard
for my own personal safety.

Ricky, from now on,
that cave is off-limits.

It's just too dangerous,
all right?

Okay, Dad.

Okay. And, Derek, if there's
any way I can repay you...

Oh, no. Richard has already
been gracious enough

to help me find a date
for tonight's party.

Unfortunately, the girl I asked
had to move to Alaska.

Well, I'm sure Rick

will do his best
to help you out.

Oh, oh, Rick, now, you sure
you don't want me

to get you a clown
for your party tonight?

Dad, we're too old for clowns.

Oh.

Okay.

I always have clowns
at my parties.

So, Mr. Could've Been
A Dead Person,

what you got for me?

Massive rejection.

You're 0 for 13, Derek.

Sorry, I did my best.

There's no one left to call.

No one?

No one.

How about Marcy Thompson?

She's my date.

So? Look, Rick,
if it wasn't for me

you'd be
a blonde pancake,

and I'd be
taking her out, anyway.

You'd take my date out
on the day I d*ed?

We'd talk about you.
What a great guy you were.

And especially how you'd
do anything for a friend.

All right, I'll do it.

But then we're even.

Hi, Marcy? Hi.

This is...

Rick.

Hi. Uh, I've been thinking.
I thought it'd be a good idea

to have someone else
take you to the party tonight

to keep you company,

'cause I'm gonna be busy
playing host.

Is that okay?

It is? Good, good.

As long as it's not who?

Listen,
he's really improved.

So if you'll just say--
Hello?

Hello?

Boy, did you blow that one.

Derek, now thanks to you,
neither one of us has a date.

Derek, I'm grateful to you
for saving my life.

Honest, I am.

And I really
want to repay you.

But finding you a girl

who's willing
to be seen with you?

Come on, some things
are just impossible.

Rick, sometimes I'm so smart
I awe myself.

I just thought of a way
for both of us to have a date.

Heh heh heh heh.

Step on it, Rick.

I've never been
so embarrassed.

This is humiliating.

I can live with that.
Now, come on out.

You're gorgeous.

What I mean is,

I'm proud to have you
as my date tonight.

This is the worst moment
of my life.

It may be your worst moment,
but thanks to me,

you lived long enough
to experience it.

How do girls
stand wearing this stuff?

I swear,
there's such an awful draft.

Hold still a second.

[POP POP]

You're supposed to use socks,
not balloons.

Sorry.
I'm a little new at this.

How's this?

Perfect.

You know we don't stand a chance
of pulling this off.

Sure, we do.
Look, the deal is

that you stay there
ten minutes,

just long enough for me
to collect my bet.

And then you can pretend

you have a headache,
and you can leave.

Got news for you.
I've already got a headache.

Rick, girls
don't sit like that.

How about this?

Not even close.

You want to embarrass me?
My rep's on the line.

Now watch me.

See?

I've got a good idea.

Why don't you go as a girl,

and I'll go as you?

On second thought,
that'd even be more humiliating.

Oh, we're dead.

Now what?

Rick, if you're serious
about being a girl,

you gotta walk like

you're swatting flies
with your rear end.

Half of that
will be fine.

Now let me hear you talk.

I would like to k*ll you.

Perfect. Let's go.

Ladies first.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, Derek.

Hello, Miss Summers.

You're looking
incredibly gorgeous as usual.

Um, allow me
to introduce my date--

Gloria Stevenson.

Nice to meet you,
Gloria.

She's a little shy.

Kate, we're gonna have
more kids than we thought.

We better get
some more refreshments.

Hi, Derek.

Hello, Mr. Stratton.

Hey, Derek...

[WHISPERS]
you got a winner.

Thanks. Um, Ricky told me
to tell you

that he's picking up
his date,

and he'll be back
in about ten minutes.

Fine, Derek.

[SNIFFS]

What's that smell?

Oh, that's
my new aftershave.

Lady k*ller.

Derek, you could k*ll
a lady buffalo with that.

So far, so good.

Nine minutes, five seconds
and counting.

Guys, this is Gloria.

Better go over
and join the girls now.

I can't.
You have to.

You want the other girls
to think you're a snob?

What am I gonna talk about?

Girl stuff.

Lipstick, nylons,

guys.

While you're over there,

put in a good word
about me, huh?

The walk, the walk.

I-I don't believe it,
Taylor.

Well, when you got it,
you got it.

Cough up the ten-spot, J.T.

Loan me ten bucks, Freddy.

Sure. When you gonna
pay me back?

Never.

Good idea, J.T.

Hi. I'm Cindy Fairchild.

Hi. I'm Gloria Stevenson.

Yuck.

This stuff
tastes like Tabasco sauce.

Kate, the girls are on one side,
the boys are on the other.

They're not mingling.

Well, give 'em a chance.

They'll come over
and get some food

and start talking,
and before long,

we won't be able
to get 'em apart.

Hi, Freddy.

Maybe some music.
Oh.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SING-SONG] Derek.

Derek. I'm afraid
we must be leaving.

I'm developing
a terrible headache.

Come on, gorgeous.

What do you say you and I
trip the light fantastic?

Derek. You're not gonna
let this stranger

steal me away, are you?

That's the way
it's shaking down, Gloria.

Um, J.T... are you gonna
dance with her?

I'm your date.

That's right.
She's your date.

Hey, there's enough of me
to go around.

Tramp.

You know, I like you.

You're different
from the other girls.

No kidding.

Excuse me. May I cut in?

No.

Fine.

[BLOWS]

What are you doing?

Doesn't that
give you goose bumps?

How would you like a goose bump
on your nose?

Yaw-hoo. I love a chick
with spirit.

What do you say
you and I go outside and...

I'm not that kind of girl.

I'd like to talk to you
for just a minute.

I saw what just happened
out there with that boy.

Yes. Boys can be...
such boys.

Yes, they can,

but some girls
are too eager to please, too,

and I was glad
to see you say no.

And I think your parents
would be proud of you, too.

Yeah, well...

You know, when I was
about your age,

I remember
I had a friend

that whenever
he'd ask a girl out,

well, he thought that
she owed him.

What if you really do
owe a person?

How far should you go
to pay that person back?

Now, that's a tough question.

My son is wrestling with
that same problem right now.

Do you know
Ricky Stratton?

Not personally.

But I hear
he's a real... babe.

Yeah, well, he is
a chip off the old block.

Anyway, Ricky's life

was recently saved
by a friend of his,

Derek Taylor,
your date tonight.

You may call him
Derek Taylor.

But us girls call him
"toad nose."

Ah. Well, anyway,

Ricky felt that
he owed Derek,

and he tried his best
to pay him back.

But I'm sure that Ricky

would never let Derek
take advantage of him.

He's much too smart
for that.

He is?

You bet. So you see,

I think the answer
to your question

is that you don't pay a debt

by compromising
your self-respect.

It's important
to try to keep your dignity.

You're absolutely right.

Thank you, Mr. Stratton.

You're welcome, Rick.

By the way, your socks
are falling down.

No, son, those socks.

Excuse me, Dad.
I got a score to settle.

She's crazy about me.

Poor thing just can't
get enough of me.

Is there a problem?

Problem? You've
taken advantage of me.

You've humiliated me.

And I'm not gonna stand for it
anymore, Derek.

Is this the gratitude I get?

Don't forget.
I saved your life.

[HUFFS]

Stop it.
You're k*lling me.

Well, now we're even.
I just saved your life.

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪