(clattering)
♪ How can I get with you? ♪
♪ Till my day comes,
here's what I'm gonna do ♪
- ♪ Be sittin' up in my room ♪
- ♪ Sittin' up in my room ♪
♪ Back here thinkin' 'bout you... ♪
You're f*cking it up!
You're doing great, keep trying.
♪ For you ♪
- ♪ Be sittin' up in my room ♪
- ♪ Sittin' up in my room ♪
♪ Back here thinkin' 'bout you ♪
♪ I'm just a mess. ♪
Look at Sue.
RITA: Hey, Sue!
- Oh...
- Damn.
- f*ck you, too, Sue.
- That was for you.
Started walking,
and all of a sudden you're
God's gift to the Rez.
Did you see that Facebook group
she started?
- What?
- It's like a walking group.
I got a invite the other day.
I was like, "f*ck no."
f*cking kidding me?
I'm not gonna go walking
with all the aunties.
I'd rather die.
You going to the conference
this weekend?
I don't think so.
Feel like I should stick around
with everything Bear's going through.
There's always something going
on with those shitasses.
Emotions, hormones, sh*t.
He'll be fine.
sh*t, he's the same age
you were when you had him.
Why would you say that?
I-I think you were
a really responsible teen mom.
And he'll be a good teen dad.
I don't want him to be a teen dad.
Listen to me.
White people go to Cancún.
We go to IHS conferences.
Okay? It's our way.
(sniffles)
If anything happens,
don't call , okay?
It's too expensive.
Just call Leon.
Mom, I know.
Don't worry.
I'm just gonna kick my feet up...
(exhales) rest the old bones.
It'll be good not being
on a roof all day.
Working man.
- Mmm.
- You earned it. (chuckles)
You deserve a weekend away, too.
Just working all the time.
It's a conference.
It's still work.
(gasps)
(sniffs)
(gasps)
SAM: The problem is the
understanding of sovereignty.
It's become a catchall term
that's lost a lot of its meaning.
The future of Indian health
is sustainable programming
away from the shackles of the
U.S. government-provided care.
Think of it like, say,
I don't know, a relationship.
The energy you provide
is only as healthy
as the energy
you give yourself.
Then again,
what do I know
about healthy relationships?
I'm just an Indian man, right?
(laughing)
Joking aside, sustainable tribal health
takes investment in ourselves.
- Hi.
- Scholarships,
support, and eventually
facilities and equipment.
It might take a long time,
- but we are absolutely worth it.
- (whispering): Hey, girl.
- What?
- These goals of self-sufficient
health services probably aren't
achievable in my lifetime.
But I believe in the future
- of our people.
- Shh.
And it is for the future
that I do my work.
Small steps.
- (Teenie murmurs)
- But every step taken is part
- of the journey to true sovereignty.
- Yeah.
As you attend your workshops
this weekend,
bear in mind the power
that you carry as Native people.
Let's wield that power together.
I'll wield my power on you.
No ring. No hickeys.
- Mmm.
- I call shotgun.
Power to the matriarchs!
Women are sacred!
Probably got a white wife.
Don't count.
And what about you, Dr. Kang?
You snag?
What's "snag"?
(Rita gasps)
Noncommittal sex with someone
you're definitely gonna see again.
See these?
These are my kills.
You get one anytime you snag
with somebody from the host tribe.
Impressive achievements, Beverly.
Well, there's one out there for you.
- Me?
- Yeah.
Maybe Crow,
maybe Delaware.
- Delaware.
- Chickasaw.
KANG: Chickasaw.
- Ho-Chunk.
- Ho-Chunks.
But watch out for bad medicine, though.
Yeah, wear socks.
Medicine comes up through your feet.
- Mm.
- "Socks... wear them."
(indistinct chatter)
PRISCILLA: Welcome, ladies.
Here we have a-a crystal dildo.
- Wow.
- Heals from within.
- Hmm.
- Cleanses away
spiritually-transmitted diseases.
- Mmm.
- Yeah, sister. It's okay.
That's for you.
- Damn.
- Wow.
PRISCILLA: You guys got kids?
RITA: Yeah, I got one.
- Three.
- Not yet.
- A niece.
- Ah. Okay.
So, you two,
this is for you.
A workout of your pelvic floor.
This stuff will tighten you up.
- (smacks lips)
- Just perfect.
And for our other sisters...
(sniffs) Oh, God, this is good.
This is on the house.
- Hmm. Thanks.
- BEV: Thank you.
- Thank you.
- (gasps) I love her.
(giggles)
♪ I like him ♪
♪ Like him, too, he my man ♪
♪ He my boo, he my type, he's so cute ♪
♪ I want him and I want him, too ♪
♪ I like him, like him, too ♪
♪ He my man, he my boo ♪
♪ He my type, he's so cute ♪
♪ I want him, and I want him, too. ♪
What's up, ladies?
Hey.
TEENIE: Eyes down, ladies.
Seminoles can impregnate you
with a single stare.
God.
That's how we used to look
way back in the day.
Look at that! Look at that!
Oh, you got to engage like that.
But we do... (speaks Native language)
Oh, Natalie, there's your ex.
Helps you to improve
your video game focus.
(clears throat) Exes.
I snagged Jumbo, too.
Natalie!
And Beverly!
You got my lanyard in there?
I need edibles.
Oh, I... I got a customer.
I got a customer. Hold on.
(indistinct chatter)
♪ Ooh, you got it, girl, you got it ♪
♪ I can feel the tension ♪
♪ Ooh, you got it, girl, you got it ♪
♪ Won't you come and put it on me? ♪
♪ Ooh, you got it,
girl, you got it... ♪
Rita, check out your snag.
- Sam!
- What are you doing?
There's a free seat here!
Setting you up for success.
You got to lock that down
before someone else does.
SAM: Thanks.
- May I?
- Yeah, it's all yours.
(quietly): You're welcome.
What you reading?
Man Moon by Beau Harrison.
It's about recognizing
our sacred feminine.
Hmm. I love fiction.
Mm.
So, where are you from?
- From Chinle.
- Yeah.
It's in Arizona in the middle
of the Navajo Nation.
I work there.
What's your dad's name?
- Alfred.
- Oh.
You were just a little guy
when I saw him.
What's it... what-what's it
like there in Arizona?
It's beautiful...
The canyon,
Canyon de Chelly.
You should go visit sometime.
Yeah. I'd like that.
Sounds hot.
You have any kids?
Not that I know of.
(laughs)
- I'm a mom.
- How old?
He's a teenager.
- High school, huh?
- Yeah.
- That's when they go for the jugular.
- (laughs)
- (elevator bell dings)
- I always knew I wanted
to help my people.
I just didn't know how.
I wanted to see more people like
us in the hospital, you know?
So I went back to school
to get my medical degree.
And it was a hard time
being away for so long,
but it's nice to be back
in the community now,
even if it's not my own.
That's really cool.
I always wanted to go away to school.
I told everyone
I was gonna go to New York
and smoke cigarettes on a fire escape.
Just something I saw in a movie once.
So, did you?
No. No, I didn't do any of that.
Maybe when my son is grown up
and out of the house.
There's just so many things
I want to do.
I'll have to take you to my favorite
pizza spot out there sometime.
Yeah. I'd like that.
- (elevator bell dings)
- It's my floor.
I'll see you, uh, at the bar later?
Yeah, for sure.
(sighs): Oh.
Ooh. So pretty.
- Oh. Wow.
- Smells good.
It does smell good.
BEV: Smells like
my grandma's underwear drawer.
Okay. Rita?
(laughter)
Biska needs some attention.
(sighs)
TEENIE: Wait. Wait. Wait.
Sit with your butt back.
- Mmm.
- So your vag can go right
- close to the steam.
- Oh. Oh!
- That's it.
- Don't burn it.
Oh.
Oh, there it is.
- Try to, like, inhale from your...
- Oh.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Okay.
(inhales deeply)
Oh, yeah.
How come we've never steamed
our biskas before?
- (laughs)
- We probably used to.
Yeah, old ways.
- All right, now focus.
- All right.
- Mm-hmm.
- And ask for what you want.
Like, out loud?
Doesn't say.
Wish for a giant hvsh.
Yeah. Not too giant.
- Medium.
- Medium, okay.
- Fits just right.
- Long, long orgasm.
- Yeah.
- Multiple. Lots of 'em.
- Yes, multiple.
- BEV: Like an hour long.
Okay.
- Handcuffs.
- Yeah.
- Just a little rough.
- Yeah.
He's, like, fast like a rabbit.
- No, I don't like that.
- New baby daddy.
- Dr. Dad.
- Yeah, yeah.
(inhales) Okay.
Ooh! Oh. Whew!
(sighs)
f*ck.
- (laughs)
- What?
- f*ck, I feel powerful.
- (laughs)
It works!
Oh, sh*t. Bear called.
I'm next.
(line ringing)
- What's up, Mom?
- Hey, Bear.
How you doing?
Yeah, I'm doing good.
- How's the conference?
- Yeah, it's good.
Yeah. Um...
- All right, and focus...
- (laughter)
Did you get a pizza
with that money I left you?
Yeah. It just got here.
Okay, good.
And there's also frozen waffles
in the freezer
if you need them for breakfast.
Let me know if you need
anything else, okay?
No, I'll be good. Probably just
gonna get some sleep anyways.
Yeah, me, too. It was a long day.
You know, I'm tired.
All right, well,
- I love you, Bear.
- All right. Love you, too, Mom.
Bye.
We good!
- (music playing)
- Domino, m*therf*cker!
(whooping)
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
♪ Here I go falling down, down, down ♪
♪ My mind is a blank ♪
♪ My head is spinning around
and around as I go... ♪
(all cheering)
♪ It's such a crazy, crazy feeling ♪
Aah!
♪ I get weak in the knees ♪
♪ My poor old head is a-reelin'... ♪
It's lively in here.
Hello.
♪ Of love... ♪
Cast a wide net, hos.
Let's catch some m*therf*cking fish.
♪ I even tried to run... ♪
♪ Money over here,
gettin' money over here ♪
♪ We're gettin' money over here ♪
♪ Gettin' money over here ♪
♪ Sit your broke ass down,
broke, broke ass down ♪
♪ Sit your broke ass down,
broke, broke ass down... ♪
We closed it down last year. (laughs)
Yes.
♪ And when the dance
is over, sweetheart ♪
♪ We'll sing and drink all night ♪
♪ Then we'll dance a . ♪
(both shouting)
(whooping)
♪ Sit your broke ass down,
broke, broke ass down ♪
♪ Sit your broke ass down... ♪
Okay.
Not a lot of dudes, but I see
a sh*t-ton of hot ladies.
For you.
- What is this?
- Edible.
I can't do this.
This is gonna f*ck me up.
It's only ten milligrams.
- Live a little, Rita.
- Come on.
(sighs)
♪ Where the Midwest at... ♪
(laughs)
- Oh, sh*t.
- What?
These are milligrams.
♪ My Down South brothers... ♪
- (laughter)
- You are a sh*t.
- Uh-oh. (laughs)
- Mm-hmm.
♪ Move your body, move
your body, move your body ♪
♪ Like that ♪
♪ Like that ♪
♪ Move your body, move your body ♪
♪ Move your body like that... ♪
Your Indian name is Cipo.
Wow.
I love the way that sounds.
- Mm.
- What's it mean?
Cousin.
Oh. It's beautiful.
It rolls off the tongue.
Can I get y'all another round?
Hey.
My name is Cipo.
It means "cousin."
Hey, cousin. I like your braid.
Hey, um, are you Crow?
- No.
- Chickasaw?
- No.
- Delaware?
No. I'm Tonkawa.
Tonkawa?
I like the... I'm wearing socks!
- ♪ This gonna make me burp ♪
- ♪ Burp ♪
- ♪ This gonna make me fart ♪
- ♪ Fart ♪
♪ This gonna make me burp, burp. ♪
- Yeah.
- Whatever.
(laughter)
I think it's kicking in.
What did you say?
What? (laughs)
Oh.
Yeah. It's kicking in?
- Yeah?
- Yes, bitch.
(laughs)
Oh, yeah, I feel it. Mmm.
Yeah, I feel like...
I don't know what I feel.
TEENIE: Oh, they're playing Brandy.
Let's dance. That'll fix it.
♪ Seems like ever since
the first day we met ♪
♪ There is no one else
I think of more than you ♪
♪ Can't seem to forget ♪
♪ Can't get you out of my head ♪
- (applause and cheering)
- ♪ Guess the verdict's in ♪
♪ I'm crazy over you ♪
♪ How can one be down?
Tell me where to start ♪
♪ 'Cause every time you smile ♪
♪ I feel trembles in my heart ♪
♪ I have but one concern,
how can I get with you? ♪
♪ Till my day comes,
here's what I'm gonna do ♪
- ♪ Be sittin' up in my room ♪
- ♪ Sittin' up in my room ♪
♪ Back here thinkin' 'bout you ♪
♪ I must confess, I'm a mess for you ♪
- ♪ Be sittin' up in my room ♪
- ♪ Sittin' up in my room ♪
♪ Back here thinkin' 'bout you ♪
♪ I'm just a mess
with a thang for you ♪
♪ Pray that you'll invest
in my happiness... ♪
Yes!
(laughs)
(groans)
(laughing)
Remember that time
we stole your mom's car,
- and we crashed it into the creek?
- Oh, sh*t.
- BEV: Oh, my God.
- Like, f*cked it right up?
- It flooded the engine.
- Oh, my God.
We were trying to go to that party
down in Bumfuck somewhere.
Your homecoming crown...
It was stuck in the mud
and just, like, all broken
and sh*t and all f*cked-up.
I went back to get it, though.
- That's right.
- (gasping)
That was the first
night I ever snagged.
- The beginning of my ho days.
- TEENIE: sh*t.
I miss being a shitass.
Mmm. Me, too. I don't want
to do dishes anymore.
- Word.
- No.
Y'all ever feel like
we just went from being kids
to women overnight?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
And no one even asked us.
Just expected to be all sacred
and tradish all the time.
Ugh. It's a lot, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Cleaning, cooking, mom-ing.
Sewing, beading, weaving.
Learning knowledge, keeping knowledge,
teaching knowledge,
- making humans.
- Mm.
Picking people up from the drunk t*nk.
- Oh.
- (Teenie laughs)
That's why we need nights like this.
So we can cut loose
and let all that sh*t go sometimes.
Easy for you to say.
What's that supposed to mean?
You don't have any kids.
- Neither does Bev.
- Well, I got a niece.
sh*t's hard.
I'm not her mom,
but I got to be one to her.
- (sighs)
- She puts up with me,
but think she's gonna burn all
her hair off with all that bleach.
(laughs)
Little shitass runaway. f*ck.
RITA: Yeah, see?
You get to pick and choose
what you want to be a part of.
We don't get to.
You think that's easier?
I'm just saying that you don't have
to deal with the same things
that we do. You're lucky.
You don't know what I have to
deal with, Rita. None of you do.
Yeah, because you left.
Well, what was I supposed to do?
Waste my life working the
gas station, pumping out babies?
(Rita scoffs)
That's what you might tell
yourself, but the truth is,
is that you bailed on us
after Cookie d*ed.
Rita, I went to school,
I worked, I joined the f*cking mili...
You know what?
f*ck this.
I'm still snagging.
sh*t.
Come on. Let's go dance.
♪ I be gettin' right,
gettin' wild with my team ♪
♪ Anyone that's hyped up,
y'all know what I mean ♪
♪ I'm runnin' with my head high... ♪
Hey, Rita?
There's your man.
♪ Life in the fast lane,
never slow down ♪
♪ And if you didn't know... ♪
Do I look super f*cked-up?
No. No. Just fix your lips
and push your titties up.
♪ Hyped up if you're gettin'
down with me ♪
♪ Oh, hype me up ♪
♪ We be in the building ♪
♪ Light it up ♪
♪ We gon' make a million,
ride with us... ♪
Did you miss me?
♪ Get it right every night ♪
♪ Get it right every night ♪
♪ Get it right every night ♪
♪ Get it right every night ♪
♪ I'm in a sunshine... ♪
(Rita sputters)
(sighing deeply)
(urinating)
(sighs): Oh...
(sighs)
(urinating stops)
Mm.
Oh, for f*ck's sakes.
TEENIE: Rita?
(sighs quietly)
You have a tampon, Teenie?
Luckily, Indian men don't care
about your moon time.
Don't matter.
I think a niece swooped him.
Oof. Brutal.
(sighs, grunts)
Used to it, though.
In the city, men don't even
look at you if you're over .
(sighs)
I don't get it.
Everyone talks about honoring women.
TEENIE: "You're beautiful matriarchs."
RITA: Except no
one's doing sh*t for us,
not even giving us orgasms.
(chuckles softly)
I just want to feel sexy again.
Yeah.
♪ Realize I hurt you and I'm ♪
♪ Begging for a second chance ♪
♪ Don't you tell me ♪
♪ Our love is through ♪
♪ I'm gonna make it up to you, girl ♪
♪ Let me make it up to you. ♪
I know I don't know
what you go through,
but it looks pretty nice from here.
I'd k*ll to have kids and work at IHS.
It's lonely being so far away.
Sometimes I wish I could get
into, like, a mild accident.
So I could go to the hospital
for, like, five days to a week.
- (muffled laugh)
- Have some free food
and have people take care of me.
Get a comfy bed and those
wool socks that they give you.
You know, that huge jug
of water that's always iced
with crushed ice.
Just so I could be alone.
So, you mean, like, a vacation?
Well, yeah, that's what
I'd have to do to get one.
(laughs softly)
I wish things were simpler.
I miss when we could all just
sit in bed all day,
the three of us, and watch TV.
(chuckles)
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ I could play him
with my eyes closed ♪
♪ It ain't about what you did ♪
♪ It's about what you didn't do ♪
♪ It ain't about
what you put me through ♪
♪ It's about that you knew ♪
♪ Got me out here looking like a fool ♪
♪ Feeling like I'm used ♪
♪ How can I claim abuse? ♪
(singing in Native language)
♪ I can love him with
my eyes closed, too toned ♪
♪ Got me racing out the door,
too toned ♪
♪ Got me asking him for... ♪
TEENIE: Wait. Is that the
same guy from the beginning?
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
I remember this one.
The husband k*lled the wife because,
um, he got his mistress pregnant.
TEENIE: Why do you have to go k*ll
the whole family? Just get a divorce.
- Hmm.
- Mm.
Ugh! (exhales)
Tee, will you hold my hair?
Yeah, it's gonna happen.
- Oh, sh*t. Well...
- Yeah.
♪ I'm precocious, meet me at the door ♪
♪ You say I'm grody,
but I'm homeless... ♪
♪ ♪
(panting)
(sighs)
(elevator bell dings)
You okay?
I finally snagged.
♪ It ain't about what you did ♪
♪ It's about what you didn't do ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ It ain't about
what you put me through ♪
♪ It's about that you knew ♪
♪ Got me out here looking like a fool ♪
♪ Feeling like I'm used ♪
♪ How can I claim abuse? ♪
♪ I can love him ♪
♪ I can love him with
my eyes closed, too toned ♪
♪ Got me racing out the door ♪
♪ Too toned ♪
♪ Got me asking him for more. ♪
(singer vocalizing)
02x05 - Wide Net
Comedy about four teens in Oklahoma who steal, rob, and save in order to get to the faraway land of California.