05x06 - Frat Rules

[bunniefuu]

[DOOR BANGS OPEN]

Wake your ass up! You about
to go through hell tonight!

- [GASPING]
- Get up.

JUNIOR: Okay, why would someone

go through the more difficult rituals

associated with pledging a fraternity?

♪ Winning is the only option ♪

First, because nothing
brings men together

like bonding through adversity.

You see it with soldiers, athletes,

"Bachelorette" contestants.

Once you walk through the fire together,

you're brothers for life.

And second, to honor our ancestors.

The journey for Black men in America

has always been laced with struggle.

♪ Gimme the feelin', tell me
you feel it, I got the spirit ♪

These rituals are a reminder
of the real-world obstacles

faced by those who came before us

and how they overcame them.

And for me, I want
to prove to the Gammas

that I am up to
carrying on their legacy.

But mostly I want to prove it to myself.

Get up.

What the [BLEEP] is going on?

The worst night of my life!

Okay, well, have fun.

- I will!
- ♪ Gimme the feelin' ♪

♪ Gimme the feelin',
tell me you feel it ♪

And even better, I'm not
doing any of this alone.

Hey, bud. You ready to die?

You know it. I almost free-balled,

but something told me
I should put draws on.

♪ It's so phenomenal ♪♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'mma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪♪

Mm, mm, mm.

Now, I bet you are all wondering

why we dragged your asses out

in y'all too-tight draws
in the middle of the night.

It's because tonight is the beginning

of the next phase of the journey.

From here on out, you will call me

Big Brother Swerve.

And I am Big Brother Big Boy!

- Mm-hmm.
- And tonight,

you will all be getting new names.

[CHUCKLES]

- Zeke.
- Oh.

Zeke, Zeke, Zeke, Zeke, Zeke.

- You think you big man on campus.
- Mm.

'Cause you be killin'
it on the football field.

- Mm.
- Shakin' boys out, jukin' 'em.

But here, you got to prove yourself

just like everyone else, brother.

- That's right, brother.
- So from here on out,

you'll be known as Big Head.

Big-ass Head.

Wobble, wobble, wobble.

[LIGHT LAUGHTER]

Jeff. [CHUCKLING]
Ooh, Jeff, look at you.

- Mm.
- Look at you.

You think you so pretty.

Jason Derulo-looking boy.

Pretty, pretty, pretty
with the dewy skin

and them exquisite cheekbones.

Relax, Big Boy.

- It's okay.
- I think we'll call him Pretty Boy.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And Darius here likes to
run his mouth, don't you?

No, see, I just have a lot of
things I like to articulate...

- Motormouth!
- [LIGHT LAUGHTER]

- [IMITATES ENGINE SPUTTERING]
- Just don't... Just don't hit me, man.

And you.

Got a special name for you.

Second thought, you're not
worthy of being a Gamma.

So you don't deserve a name yet.

Know what we gonna call him?

"No Name."

[LAUGHTER]

Once you've earned my respect,

then you'll earn a name.

- Now tighten up this line!
- Men, tighten up the line!

sh*t's about to get real, boys.

- Don't look at me in the eyes.
- [LAUGHS]

Y'all gonna see why
they call me Big Boy!

- AARON: Yes.
- Thank you, my friend.

This place makes the best cubans.

I'm so glad you work here now.

That makes one of us.

Oh, come on, dude, you're crushing it.

You're already back in the game.
You're like Kanye after Kim.

Better yet, Kim after Kanye.

Yeah, you know, really putting
this college degree to work,

restocking urinal cakes.

This is embarrassing.

I don't see what there
is not to love, okay?

You get free drinks all day,

beautiful women coming
in and out of here, right?

You get to eavesdrop on
people's conversations.

You get tips.

Now, I've never seen it,
but it feels a lot like

the old white-people sitcom "Cheers."

Anyway, seems like the
happiest place on earth to me.

That's easy for you to say.

Why? My life isn't that great.

Oh, stop cappin', man.

You are the youngest tenure-track
professor in Cal U history.

Yes, at first glance,
it sounds impressive.

- But there's always more to the story than...
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]

Whoa, oh, oh!

Ta-Nehisi Coates is now following me.

Wow, that is...

That is, uh... That's so , really.

That guy's not even relevant anymore.

- Bro, stop.
- Yes, okay, yes, I'm very excited.

I'mma call Zoey and
tell her about Ta-Nehisi.

I'll see you back at the house, boo.

I'm right behind you.
I'm just closing up.

BEN: I'm gonna buy a freaking Tesla.

Oh, sorry, guys, we're,
uh... we're closing.

Nah. Soon as you guys are ready to go.

They're regulars. They can
stay as long as they want.

It's a lock-in.

♪♪

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- They weak.

What I tell you about them knees, boy?

Come on, man, I'm down in it!

- Big Boy!
- Hmm?

- You ever been to Magic City?
- Oh, I been.

Uh-huh, shaking legs with strippers.

Like those strippers, huh?

Where the ones at? Ha!

All right, that's enough.

You're getting pledge
sweat on the floor.

- Ain't got nothing left.
- Now, tonight is not about

punishment, gentlemen.

It's about turning
you all into Gamma men.

And in every line of Gamma men,

there's one who holds his brothers.

Remains selflessly committed
to the process, no matter what.

That's the Anchor.

The Anchors, gentlemen.

The Anchors maintain the Gamma tenets.

They do things that can't be taught,

all to ensure the line's success.

I was the Anchor of my line.

So you got some big shoes to fill.

Size , special order. [CHUCKLES]

- ?
- .

- Big stepper.
- Big stepper.

[LAUGHS]

Hold up, man... Can
y'all carry the weight?

I don't know if they can, Big Boy.

Can you?

Push-ups, gentlemen, come on, come on!

Get it. Let's go!

Drop me in the middle of the ocean

'cause I'm about to be the Anchor.

- Down! Up!
- ALL: One!

- Down! Up!
- ALL: Two!

- Come on!
- Down! Up!

- ALL: Three!
- Come on!

- Down!
- ♪ Your king is dead, behold the head ♪

♪ The bonds are broken, the
reign no longer contains ♪

Let's go. We ain't even
at yet, let's go!

♪ You've awoken a giant
with the mind of a tyrant ♪

- Mm-hmm.
- Come on, No Name.

- You think about giving up?
- ♪ Blood, sweat, and tears ♪

That's what you do best, isn't it?

That's why you couldn't cut
it at Howard, right, boy?

Yeah, exactly. Look at you.

Struggling. Let's go!

♪ Now gimme the crown ♪

♪♪

When were we founded?!

PLEDGES: !

- When?!
- !

- When?!
- !

♪ Bow down now, gimme the crown ♪

Are you your brothers' keeper?!

TOGETHER: Yes, Big Brother Big Boy!

Big Head!

Tell us about your brother No Name.

He's from Sherman Oaks!

His mom's a doctor!

His father's in advertising!

He's ! He still uses baby powder!

His curl pattern is C,
and his sister is hot, sir!

Yo.

Motormouth!

Tell us about your brother Big Head.

Uh, he's... h-he's from, um...

A-America!

And he... he smells like
chocolate protein bars!

He's from Ohio!

He's starting corner
for the Cal U Titans!

He's ! And he played
Bishop Number Three

in "The King and I" in high school!

Good. Good!

Pretty Boy!

What date did Brother Rock Hard cross?!

December , .

Dude, does that baby-faced
brother look to you?

[DING!]

Big Brother Swerve, he
crossed March , .

And he was the Anchor of his line, sir!

- MAN: This guy.
- [GRUNTING]

God dang it, Motormouth!

Big Head and No Name.

You shined bright today.

But you're only as strong
as your weakest links.

You better get these other two in line.

♪♪

You guys have a mission tonight.

Just like all the Gammas before you

had a mission on nights like this.

This is how you will
make your mark and show us

why you are worthy of wearing
the Gamma orange and navy.

Bet.

Line, move!

TOGETHER: Line, move!

March!

MAN: Left, left, left, right, left!

♪♪

Y'all have until sunrise
to find a Gamma line jacket

hidden somewhere on this campus.

BIG BOY: This is not a game, gentlemen.

So best of luck, chumps.

And if you fail, your journey
to becoming Gammas is done.

Finished. Completed.

Periodt!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[GROANS] Yo, why'd they drop
us off at another college?

Yeah, man, this campus is huge.

How we even supposed
to know where to go?

JUNIOR: Yo, the brothers
left us here for a reason.

Let's figure this out.

- [SIGHS]
- [SIGHS]

Yeah, I bet what we're looking
for is in Building .

- Let's go.
- Wait, hold on.

Let's not make any moves
without a game plan.

I have a game plan.
The longer we stay here,

the less time we have
to do this and get out.

Y'all really want to be
the first line to fail?

No.

Steppin' into those size s.

Let's go.

♪♪

♪♪

Here we are in the middle of the night,

on a rival campus,
looking for a line jacket

that could literally be anywhere.

But am I worried? Nah.

Why? Anchor stuff.

ZEKE: Let's just keep our eyes peeled

for anything that could
be connected to our frat.

Yeah, I'm trying. I
couldn't grab my contacts

while they were child-trafficking us.

We should split up, cover more ground.

Nah, nah, we should
definitely stick together.

That way, we don't
miss the little details.

Well, I'm just thinking
divide and conquer.

I'm just thinking strength in numbers.

What do you think, Darius?

I think both of you
guys have great ideas.

All right, you don't
have to kiss his ass.

Yo, trust me on this.

Let's split up.

Okay, fine, we'll split up.

That's what I'm talking about.

All right, come on, Darius, let's go.

For what it's worth, I
would've stuck together.

Good for you, Jeff.

♪♪

♪♪

Yo, so, is everything cool
between you and Junior?

Junior? That's my guy.

We're good.

We got this.

I mean, his follow-through
is trash, though.

I mean, just because
everything comes easy to Zeke

does not mean this will, too.

But Zeke... That is my guy. We are good.

W-we're great, even.

All I'm saying is Junior's quit

on everything he's ever
done that's mattered to him.

I can't think of one thing
my guy's ever completed.

He's probably gonna quit on us.

- Damn!
- No, no, no, it's not like that.

I love Junior.

I'd take a b*llet for that guy.

I'm not saying Zeke
cracks under pressure.

Although did you see him drop
that easy pick-six last week?

And are we really sure
he uses his own urine

for those drug tests?

Geez.

It's not like that,
though. I love Zeke, okay?

We're probably gonna
room together next year.

♪♪

- So you guys ready for the check?
- [CHUCKLES]

We ready for another round of sh*ts.

That's what we ready for.

We celebrating tonight, baby.

Celebrating? So you guys
want the, uh, Ryan Reynolds,

the Dwayne Johnson, or the, uh, Jay-Z?

Doesn't matter. Just give us top shelf.

- Mm-hmm.
- We just made the biggest deal

of the last five years.

Congrats, man.

I bet you're probably wondering
how we landed this account.

- Not at all.
- Well, let me tell you.

Three trips to New York, first class,

two four-course dinners at Nobu,

and telling this guy
his newborn was cute

even though, to be honest, that
thing looked like Baby Grinch.

Ew. You know what I think?

I think I'mma buy my wife a Birkin.

You know, just to make
up for all the nights

that I was at the office
instead of at home.

But it's all gonna be worth it

when we see that ad play
during the Super Bowl.

Yeah!

Wait, you guys are in marketing?

♪♪

So, we tried it Zeke's way,

but surprise, surprise,
that got us nowhere.

You think I'd get tired
of saying "I told you so"

so many times, but I love it.

Hey, yo, man, I'm not
sure it's in here, either.

We should keep moving.

Yeah, because your instincts

have really taken us far tonight.

I'm just saying we're
running out of time.

And we're wasting even
more. Let's get active.

Bro, what's up with you?

You need to stand down
and let me run point.

You haven't even considered my plan.

What's the deal? I thought we were boys.

Yeah, we are boys, but that doesn't mean

I have to listen to
your stupid-ass ideas.

Chill. Sometimes he has good ideas.

Like stopping at Dairy Queen.

Look, when I'm on the
field, people follow.

So get behind me.

Nah, bro. Get behind me.

Hold up. Junior.

[CLEARS THROAT]

JUNIOR: R. Larson?

Rickey Larson. That's
Big Brother Rock Hard.

[LAUGHS]

- Wow, that's it.
- Oh, nice!

Yes!

We found it because we stuck around

like I said we should.

Boom.

[DOOR OPENS, RADIO CHATTER]

Oh, sh*t, someone's there!

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

MAN: Stop! Stop!

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Live from the top of mountain ♪

♪ With eagles around how they
found me, I'm higher than ever ♪

♪ You can let fire surround me ♪

♪ A diamond get made out of pressure ♪

♪ I been on the way, I
got no time to look back ♪

♪ 'Cause my family gone
need some mo' cheddar ♪

♪ So let's get it poppin' ♪

♪ Told me to put up or shut up ♪

♪ You should not put up a vendetta ♪

This way, this way.

♪ Bump we crossing the line ♪

♪ We ready this time, yeah, oh ♪

♪ I carne asada the beef,
so, lord, forgive what I do ♪

♪ Live from the top ♪

[BOTH SIGH]

Man, if I hadn't been
running behind your slow ass,

- we could've made it out with the other guys.
- What?

Knowing you, you probably
would've slammed the door

in my face anyway.

sh**t, it'd serve you
right. It's your fault

we're here trapped in
a closet like R. Kelly.

Oh, okay, first off,

how dare you make a solid R. Kelly
reference at a time like this.

Second, if it wasn't for me,

- we wouldn't have found the jacket in...
- Shh!

[RADIO CHATTER]

I think we're good. They're gone.

Bro, wait.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I wonder, is going to
jail for trespassing

more or less lame than
dropping out of Howard?

But for Zeke, he has everything to lose.

Zeke's ability to play football
always made him special.

It's why he's at Cal U.

But Zeke isn't just a football player.

He's the hopes and dreams of his family,

his friends, his entire neighborhood.

And he'd be letting them all down

if he got kicked out of school.

Am I my brother's keeper?

Maybe I am.

Junior, what are you doing?

I was so focused on
trying to be the Anchor

that I completely forgot about the line.

In my defense, I'm
still new to all this.

Never had a brother whose
diaper I didn't have to change.

But I'm not gonna lose sight
of what's important now.

- Let me take care of this.
- I don't know, man.

Bro, chill. I got this.

Listen, I know you're
just doing your job,

but you're making a huge mistake.

How's that?

I know we're not supposed to be at PCU,

but we're not just four
kids messing around.

We're pledging Gamma, one of
the oldest Black fraternities,

and we're all on our way
to doing great things.

Like Jeff. He's on the Dean's List.

Or Darius. He's double-majoring,

and he still finds time to
FaceTime his mom every day.

Or Zeke. He works harder than all of us.

He has the brightest future,

and getting in trouble now
could throw it all away.

You don't want to do this.

♪♪

What'd he say?

Yeah, we're still [BLEEP].

Oh, man, I ain't gonna make it in jail!

♪♪

Yo, what's going on?

You guys were taking too long.

We figured something was up,
so we rallied some of the fam.

Man, so this is like
a... a jailbreak, right?

- Cool!
- Nah.

Kareem over there is pre-law.

And Ahmad in the blue...

his father's a trustee
of the university.

We got you, man.

And as I looked over to
see a dozen Black men,

strangers from rival fraternities

who arrived at the cr*ck
of dawn to save our asses,

I realized that I was
stepping into something bigger

than I ever thought.

BEN: But that's life.

So, tell us about yourself, dude.

How long you been working at this bar?

Not long, man. This
isn't really my thing,

you know, just something
in between gigs.

I was in advertising, so...

Well, you're staying late with us.

I mean, you must have tenacity.

Oh, yeah, a guy like you,
be running this place soon.

Honestly, I'm trying to get
back into the corporate world,

- you know?
- Huh.

You know, I don't know
if we mentioned it,

but we're always on the lookout

for young hustlers to join our team.

We're actually doubling
our head count in Q .

Man, I love Q . That's my favorite Q.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I see a little bit of
myself in you, dude.

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪♪

Call my assistant.

See if we can't find a spot for you.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Yeah.

Yo, thank you, man.

Where y'all headed next?

BEN: Back to the office.

It's : a. m. Don't
you guys need to get home?

Nah. Money never sleeps.

♪♪

Y'all have a good one. Peace.

♪♪

Tonight, we tested you

to see if you had what it takes
to be a part of our brotherhood.

Mm-hmm, and even though
we had to save y'all asses,

you still managed to find the jacket,

which means you are one step closer

to becoming official Gamma men.

Tonight, you proved to be one
machine with four moving parts.

But there was one of
you who showed yourself

to be the strongest on the line,

someone who deserves
the title of Anchor.

- And that person is...
- Hey, hold up.

If anyone deserves to
be Anchor, it's Zeke.

He really stepped up to
lead when we were all lost.

Nah, nah, nah, no, Junior
should be the Anchor.

He led us to the right building

when I would've had us
going all around campus.

Nah, but Zeke's raw D strength
really inspired all of us.

Okay, but Junior's boyish
optimism was a guiding light.

And Zeke definitely didn't
cheat on any of his drug tests.

- Wait, what?
- Both of y'all shut up!

Shut up!

The Anchor is Motormouth, damn!

MAN: Ooh!

Man, I don't know what
they talking about.

Of course it's me. What's
the cream, the sugar

without the coffee? Like, come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, congratulations.

But ain't none of y'all Gammas yet.

Now get up on outta here.

I got a hotel-management
class in about minutes.

♪♪

Man, I like Darius and all,
but my vote is still you.

Yeah, bro, I don't know
how they didn't pick you.

Let's be real.

Anybody but Darius
would've been a good choice.

[SCOFFS] Man, where's the lie?

Seriously. Thanks for
having my back tonight.

Yeah, bro, that's what brothers are for.

We might get into it
every once in a while,

but I'm always gonna hold you down.

I got you, No Name.

So again, why would someone put
themselves through all of this?

You know what? If you know, you know.

Top of the morning, pimp!

Mm. You're awfully cheery

for someone who just got
off work at : a. m.

I just had the best shift ever,

and I met two of the worst
human beings I've ever met.

- And guess what?
- What?

They offered the boy a job.

Dude!

But I don't want it.

That just isn't for me anymore.

All right, so what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I just know I want to be
happy doing it, you know?

I guess, uh, congrats
on the lack of a future.

Thanks.

That means a lot.

Proud of ya.

♪♪