03x21 - Nuclear Family - October 26, 1962

[bunniefuu]

Theorizing that one could
time-travel within his own lifetime,

Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into
the Quantum Leap Accelerator

and vanished.

He woke to find himself
trapped in the past,

facing mirror images
that were not his own,

and driven by an unknown force

to change history
for the better.

His only guide
on this journey is Al,

an observer from his own time,

who appears in the form
of a hologram

that only Sam can see and hear.

And so Dr. Beckett finds himself
leaping from life to life,

striving to put right
what once went wrong,

and hoping each time
that his next leap

will be the leap home.

Eddie! Come on, man,
duck and cover!

Get down, put your mask on!

Why?

The Russkies just lobbed
the b*mb on New York City.

What?

It's World w*r III.

Get down, right now!

Come on, now.

Oh, boy.

Quantum leaping around in time,
I'm used to getting my atoms smashed

in an expl*si*n
of blinding white light.

But not even that
could prepare me for this.

This has been a test of the
Colorado Emergency Broadcast System.

This was only a test.

Come, honey, it's a test.

Come on up now, Uncle Eddie.

You okay, buddy?

Yeah, I'm fantastic.

Come on, Sam.

What?

You can come out now.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.

Well, I, uh, I...

Oh, that's my boy, Sam.

Come here, Sam, come on.

Did we do okay, Dad?

Oh, you did real good, son.

If those Russkies att*ck,
we're gonna be ready for 'em.

Maybe we should all just go out
and get some fresh air, huh?

That's exactly
what were gonna do.

Come on, kids.
Up, up, up. Let's go.

Eddie, come on.

Enemy aircraft at 12 o'clock!

Wait for me, you pig,
or I'll turn you into a frog.

Come on.

I just hate putting 'em
through these drills

over and over again,
every day. I, uh...

Why's that, honey?

Mac, I don't know why you
have to scare 'em like that.

Hey, hey, it's better
they know the truth.

We may all have to stay down there a
week or two until the fallout clears.

Fallout?

Don't worry, Eddie.
You'll be protected.

Along with all the other
folks smart enough to buy

an Ellroy Super Deluxe
shelter from us.

See, one thing you gotta
remember when you're selling...

Atom b*mb shelters?

Yeah. Yeah.

You're selling the best.
The best.

Hey, there's Burt the Turtle.

Burt the Turtle?

Yeah. Yeah, some nickname
my kids gave him.

His wife, uh, left him for the
pool man a couple of years ago.

Hey Burt, you havin' a party?

Khrushchev said
he might be dropping in.

Khrushchev. Come on.

Hey, Burt, come on over here.

I want you to meet
my kid brother, Eddie.

- Eddie's in college.
- Yeah?

First one in our family.
Oklahoma State.

He's just takin' some time off to
make money sellin' shelters for me.

- How're you doin'?
- Uh, okay, Burt.

Yeah, I guess this whole
crisis isn't hurting you guys.

Well, we can't complain, huh?

You know, I heard the Navy's gonna intercept
those Soviet m*ssile ships in 23 hours.

You know what that means?

The Cuban m*ssile Crisis.

What?

What?

Uh, the Cuban m*ssile Crisis.
I was just saying, that,

you know, it'll probably
be over any day now.

Of course, you never know.

No. You never do. That's what I've
been tellin' Burt for three years.

But he had to go and get...

A pool is a better investment
for when I sell.

Sell? Sell what?
There'll be nothin' left.

You'll be back-strokin'
in fallout

while we're safe below
in our Super Deluxe.

I told you, Homestead's only
200 miles away from Havana.

Hell, they could...
they could lob one in here in 40 seconds.

You really think
these things work?

Yeah, sure, I mean...

They're guaranteed.

You wouldn't mind
giving me a quick look?

Hey, no problem.

Eddie, here, will give you
the special VIP tour, right?

Oh, hey, now. Wait a minute,
I-I think I need a little more time to...

Come on, you got to do this.

Time is running out.

Welcome to
the Ellroy Super Deluxe

Atom b*mb Shelter.

Uh, designed to give you
the most modern

space-age... space-age
conveniences

to protect you and yours
well into the '60s.

Uh, each shelter comes standard

with, uh, two plush bedrooms
for your sleeping pleasure.

See, this is one, and...
and then this would be two, here.

Oh, uh, yes, the, uh,
chemical toilet mark 234 model.

Ahem, yeah. Yes.
And this is the other bedroom.

And, since you're on your
own, Burt, you could make this

into a lovely rumpus room
for billiards or pinball,

or just about anything to keep you
amused while the fallout clears.

And... and... and...
and each shelter comes equipped with

uh, a second
standard emergency exit.

Yeah, that's so if the
main hatch is covered up

with dirt and debris
after the blast,

why, you can still get out.
See? Come on.

Watch... Watch your head, there.

Comes furnished with all the,
uh, supplies and equipment

that you'll need
to survive in style.

Survive in style?

Here, your battery,
portable three-way radio, there,

pre-set to both
CONELRAD channels

To keep you informed
on your fallout info.

You get your Geiger counter

to tell you how contaminated
you are after the blast.

Oh, Burt, Burt, look at this.
Look at this.

Your own protective
radiation-proof poncho.

Ah, it's got
shredded lead sewn inside.

- Makes it resistant to atomic rays.
- Hmm.

Handsome, huh?

It's you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Now, give him the big finish.

Big finish.

Uh, each shelter,
uh, is decorated

with plush carpeting and...
and, uh, a special coat of paint

so that w-with the
Ellroy Super Deluxe,

uh, there's no reason
to sit in a drab shelter

when you can survive...

Survive in style.

Right. Now, normally
this would go for $3,000.

But since you're
a neighbor and all

I'm gonna give you
a 20% VIP discount.

Twenty percent? $2,400?
No, I... I don't know.

This whole Cuba thing
could just be a scare.

What if it's over in a few days?

What if it's not?

Now, I've got 10 crews working
overtime, but I can bulldoze tomorrow

and have your ground water
out by Monday

and have the whole damn thing
set up by Wednesday.

And that will be
before we intercept

those Russkie cargo ships
loaded with missiles.

No, I have to think about it.

You know, the longer
you wait on this

the longer it takes us to build.

I... I gotta go
put my milk away.

Two years,
I still haven't sold him.

You better bone up
on that brochure,

'cause I'm gonna need someone
up there selling for me.

This whole crisis
could go on for weeks.

Okay.

See you at topside.

Yeah. Yeah, see you.
See you at topside.

Jeez, look at this place.

I can't believe people actually
used to build these shelters.

What's wrong with this picture?

That's better.

Al, I'm
an atom b*mb shelter salesman.

Well, actually,
you're a junior at Oklahoma State.

Eddie Ellroy.

Yeah, apparently, uh,
you lost your basketball scholarship

when you wrecked your knee.

Yeah, Mac said something about
I'm here sellin' b*mb shelters

to make money to finish school.

Well, you know,
that's a good business to go into.

This October 26, 1962,
is right at the height...

Cuban m*ssile Crisis.
I know.

That's... that's right.

I know, look at this place.

I mean, you got gas masks...

Look at this thing.
It's a radiation chart.

And they got atomic rumpus rooms,
but there's no nuclear w*r.

Yeah, but people
didn't know that then.

We all thought maybe it
was the end of the world.

We?

Y-yeah. Well, see, you're
Swiss-cheese, or too young to remember

what the Cuban m*ssile Crisis
really was like.

Look, Elk Ridge, Indiana,
wasn't exactly ground zero.

I can barely remember
what happened.

Except for my mom, 'cause she
was like canning food like crazy.

But we didn't live
near a big city.

So, you know,
it didn't seem so scary.

Plus, I was only eight.

- Didn't seem scary.
- No.

Well, you weren't flying
reconnaissance flights over Cuba.

You flew reconnaissance flights?

I was in an F-4 Phantom escort.

One of our U-2s got sh*t down
photographing the m*ssile bases.

And my squadron
went in then after that.

And, Sam, I gotta tell you,
you don't realize

how close we came
to World w*r III.

I mean total annihilation.

But Kennedy doesn't att*ck Cuba.

And Khrushchev removes
all the missiles, right?

That's right.

But, uh, another kind of b*mb
goes off in this backyard.

You see that g*n?

Someone in the family gets sh*t?

No, the neighbor.
Burt Rosegran.

Ziggy says
there's a 99 percent chance

that you're here to keep
him from getting blown away.

How does it happen?

Well, Ziggy's still trying to get
into the... the court transcripts

but an old newspaper article
said that Mac sh*t Burt

when Burt tried to break into
this shelter tomorrow night.

No.

Mac gets 20 years,
Kate and the kids lose the business,

the house, the cars,
and worst of all, Mac...

It still doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why would somebody go
and sh**t their neighbor?

It was the Cuban m*ssile Crisis.

What does that
have to do with anything?

Sam, you don't remember,
but people then,

normal people,
ordinarily normal people,

stocked their shelters
with weapons.

They even said they'd sh**t their
friends to protect their families.

That's insane.

Well, what's gonna happen here
tomorrow night is insane.

Unless I can stop Mac, I know.

I'll do it.

Good.

Somehow.

Wow! Look at those fighters.
There, they go!

They'll stop those Russkies.

And if they don't,
then we'll duck and cover.

Then we'll hide
in the b*mb shelter.

After that, the Russians are gonna
come down and att*ck our city.

What's gonna happen to us?

Well, they'll try to k*ll us.
Little girls first.

Stop that, Stevie!
You liar.

Don't worry.
Me, Dad and Uncle Eddie

will fight 'em off.
Right, Uncle Eddie?

Why do they want to k*ll us?

Well, they don't.

Yes, they do.

No, Stevie,
the Russians are just like us.

But they're evil.

No, they're not.

See, they've got families

and... and kids and they got
dogs just like you guys do.

All the children go to school.

Yeah, to teach them to k*ll us.

No, look, the Russian people
want peace.

Dad, Uncle Eddie said
the Russians aren't evil.

No, I just said that I don't
think the Russian people

are that different from us.

Well, how come they're, uh,
building a nuclear m*ssile base

not more than 200 miles
from our backyard?

Well, I... I got a feeling that
Khrushchev's probably gonna dismantle

the whole thing
in a couple of days.

- You don't know that.
- Well, I do. I got this feeling.

No, you don't, not even Kennedy
or Khrushchev knows that.

Dad, how far is 200 miles?

It's a long, long way, son.

I'm sorry. I just... I was just trying
to make the kids feel less afraid.

Well, you're doing
a hell of a job, you know?

Hey, come on.

Let's go get some dinner.
What do you say?

- Good, I'm starving.
- Let's go.

Full speed ahead, Dad.

What're you doin'?

Oh, just, uh, just thought
I'd drop in, say hello.

That's nice.

You know, I'm very flattered
that I'm the only human being

that you picked on to talk to.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled
program for this special bulletin.

The Pentagon has just reported that U.S.
Naval vessels intercepted

a Russian cargo ship
headed for Cuba.

The vessel was later allowed
to pass through the blockade

when a visual inspection
determined that

no offensive missiles
were hidden on board.

However,
the clock is ticking down

as the armada of U.S.
Destroyers and aircraft carriers

are 18 hours from a showdown
with Soviet freighters...

Okay, kids,
pigs-in-a-blanket time.

Come on. Come on.

We now return to our
regularly scheduled program...

Daddy, I'm too scared
to go to bed.

Well, I'll come tuck you in
in a minute. Okay, hon'?

Go on.

Don't worry, Dad.
I'll protect us.

I know you will, partner.
I know you will.

- Go on.
- Good night, Stevie.

- Good night.
- Come on.

You know, I was in the shelter
today, I was...

I was kinda wondering about
the shotgun and the kids and...

Oh, it's locked.
I got the only key.

Well, it's still dangerous
having it around 'em.

Well, it's dangerous not to have it
around 'em. I've gotta protect my family.

From what?

Russkies, looters.

Neighbors?

Well, if a nuclear w*r started

and someone tried breaking
into my shelter

he might expose
my family to radiation.

I wouldn't have much choice now,
would I, if I wanted us to survive.

A lot of people think that the world
couldn't survive a nuclear w*r.

What? Is that what those

pinko eggheads been teachin'
you in college, huh?

What else did they tell you?

That a nuclear blast would kick
up so much earth and debris

that it would block out the sun
entirely, creating a nuclear winter.

Nuclear winter?

And everything would die.

Huh, no, not everything.

We'd survive, Eddie.

Just like we survived
Cimarron County in '35.

The Dust Bowl?

See, you... you weren't even
born yet, you don't...

you don't remember what it was like.
I'll never forget.

That afternoon
there was no wind.

It was just sunny and still.

Uh,

me and Pa were walkin'
a team of horses home,

when thousands of these birds
came flying by from the north.

We looked back

and we seen it comin'.

This huge, rollin',
tidal wave of earth spread across the sky.

It drifted in like... like...
like dark snow, blacking out the sun,

makin' day darker than night.

It was like
the end of the Earth.

Pa grabbed me,
we held on to his horse's bit,

we weren't more than
100 yards off,

and we still could not find
our way home.

It covered the farm in dust.

Everything we worked for d*ed.

And I remember seein'
the look in Pa's face.

Somethin' in him
d*ed that day, too.

You never knew
what he was really like.

God. Hmm.

No, I... I didn't, Mac.

We survived that,
and we're gonna survive this.

Hey, what are you doing up?

I thought
I heard something outside.

Nothing out there, huh?

You ought to get back to bed.

I can't.

I keep wondering
how far 200 miles is.

Stevie,

there's not gonna be a w*r.

The TV said there was.

Have you ever been
this scared before?

Yeah, I guess,

when my mom was in the
hospital for an operation.

I was afraid she might die.

If you look back
on that time now,

you can see that you
were worried about

something bad that didn't
happen, right?

Yeah.

Well, let's...
let's just pretend

that you could travel
into the future

and look back
on this time right now.

You'll see that the Russians
never hurt you or your family.

And you'll see that you were spending
a lot of your time and energy

being afraid of something bad
that never happened.

So, being afraid is stupid?

No, no. There's nothing
wrong with being afraid.

Sometimes it just
doesn't do you any good.

So, come on, what do you say?

Let's pretend that we've
traveled into the future,

and everything
back here is okay,

and then you're
not scared anymore.

Okay.

Give me a hug.

I love you, Uncle Eddie.

I love you, too.

Good night, Stevie.
See you in the morning.

I have dood it.

I have done dood it.

Ja, I, Professor
Grosselschiffer,

have invented
the time tunnel. Oh, boy!

We interrupt our program
for this special bulletin.

The Pentagon has just revealed
the identity of a U-2 pilot

presumed missing after being
sh*t down over Cuba yesterday.

Major Rudolf Anderson, Jr.,
35,

from Greenville, South Carolina,

was flying
a reconnaissance U-2 mission,

when he was sh*t down by Cuban
anti-aircraft g*ns. His wife...

All right, you two,
go outside and play.

You hear? Go on.

Hey, Dad, why do they keep having
these stupid special bulletin things?

Oh, well, you know,
it's just the news.

Go on.

Oh, jeez.

Mac, look who's here.

Oh.
Good morning.

Good morning,
Mrs. Klingman.

Uh, this is my kid brother,
Eddie, from Oklahoma.

- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you.

I thought the kids had their
piano lesson on Monday.

Mrs. Klingman wants to talk
to you about buyin' a shelter.

Oh, nothing too fancy.

I... I thought with all
this craziness in Cuba,

I should look-see, yes.
You understand?

Oh, sure, yeah.
Uh, I gotta go,

but Eddie, here, can help you.

There you have it,
the, uh, Ellroy Super Deluxe.

Designed to let you
sit back, relax,

and survive in style.

So, uh, what do you think?

I think your pitch needs work.

Yeah, well,
I'm not really much of a salesman.

It's kinda my first day here.

No, we don't need so much space.

It's only me and my husband.

We only have so much
from his pension

and what I make teaching piano.

Mrs. Klingman,

you don't have to worry.
They're not going to att*ck us.

What? What is it?

Here, sit down, sit down,
what's wrong?

Are you okay?

I'm... I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to...

It was a long time ago.

Whatever I said to upset you,
I'm really sorry.

No, no, no, no.
No, it was the words.

"Don't worry.
They're not going to att*ck us."

I heard those words before.

I believed
and look at what happened.

Dachau, Buchenwald...

Now it is happening
all over again.

This time there will be
no survivors.

Then why waste your money
on a shelter?

You're right.

You're not much of a salesman.

Watch your step.

I'll, uh, I'll...
I'll be right up, Mrs. Klingman.

Oh, jeez, Al.

How long have you been here?

Long enough to see
that you're a real mensch.

Mensch?

Mensch means good guy.

It's a word that my fourth wife,

third, fourth,
third or fourth wife Ruthie used to use.

- She never used it about me, though.
- Hmm.

Hi.

I... I thought
you were going out?

I thought you were
gonna sell her a shelter.

Well, you know, I...
I showed her around, but...

You told her not to buy one.

Look, Mac, she really
doesn't have very much money.

Eddie, I don't know what
the hell's gotten into you?

I brought you out here to
earn money to finish school.

But you're driving my customers
away, you're upsetting my kids.

Mac, it's not...

I'm not doing it on purpose.

Little brother or not,
you pull this one more time,

and I'm sending you
back to Oklahoma.

The Strategic Air Command's
intercontinental bombers are on alert.

Three Polaris submarines,
each carrying 16 nuclear missiles,

leave their Holy Loch,
Scotland base,

and disappear into the Atlantic.

1,000 tactical bombers
are poised in Florida

minutes from their Soviet
m*ssile sights in Cuba.

Hey, Mac, are you down in there?

You know what the hell
is happening out there?

What?

It's nuts.
The stores are empty.

T-T-T-here's no eggs,
milk, light bulbs,

and driving home I got
stopped for three hours.

They blocked off the road

for a convoy of armed troops
going down the Dixie Highway.

This Cuba thing
is really gonna happen.

Burt, now, just take it easy.
Everything's gonna be okay.

No, it's not!

There were miles of troops,
all armed.

I've gotta get a shelter.

If you just wait
a few more days, Burt.

I only hope we have
a few more days.

All right, little brother,
all right!

Hey, do you know
what this means? Huh?

No.

You just made yourself $120.

Hell, I think you might make
yourself enough to go to grad school.

Hey, give me
a hand here, will you?

Yeah.

I knew you could do it.
I did.

Hey, honey,
guess who Eddie here sold?

I'm out here on the porch,
honey.

Sundays, holidays,
vacation time,

we must be ready
every day, all the time,

to do the right thing
if the atomic b*mb explodes.

Duck and cover!

This family knows what to do.

Just as your own family should.

...to do: Duck and cover.

Duck and cover.

Hey, Uncle Eddie.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

Nothing.
Wanna join me?

Maybe later.

- Oh, Eddie...
- Uh-huh?

Congratulations.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

You seen my keys?

You scared me.

Uh, you want me to
help you look for 'em?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know... I know I...
I left 'em around here.

Maybe over here on
the table somewhere.

Okay.

Oh, oh. Wait. There they are.

You passed right by 'em.

Oh, sorry, I-I, poof...

- I'll see you at dinner.
- Okay.

If you go into the future,
the Russians don't att*ck us.

And you won't be scared anymore.

But, how does the future
know it won't happen?

Well, it doesn't for sure,
I mean...

Jeez, he explained it
better last night.

Hey, Uncle Eddie.
Tell her what you told me

about the Russians
and the future.

Well, uh, I was just
telling Stevie that

things aren't always as bad
as they seem at the time.

What about the Russians?

Well, i-it's just that right now

you're hearing a lot about the
Russians wanting to hurt us.

But they do, don't they?

Well, no, I don't think so.

But my daddy says they do.

I... I... I know he did,
but...

But my daddy's not a liar.

Honey, I'm not saying
that he is...

Yes, you are.

My daddy wouldn't lie to me.

Kimberly...

What's the matter?

Uncle Eddie said
that daddy's a liar.

What?

Daddy wouldn't do that.

Oh, honey.
No, shh, shh.

No, Kate,
that's not what I meant.

What on earth did you tell her?

Nothing. I just told her the
Russians weren't gonna hurt her.

She felt like I was
contradicting Mac...

Yeah, well, have you
watched the news lately?

Mommy, stop.

Yes, dear, look.
See? I'm almost done.

There.

But If you don't let me finish
sewin' on all these sequins,

you're not gonna get to be a
fairy princess for Halloween.

- So let me finish, okay?
- Okay.

Now, go on and play.
When I'm done, I'll let you try it on.

Look, uh,
I just... I just

I was just trying to
let 'em know

that everything was gonna be
okay, you know.

Well, I wish I knew that.

Uh, I do.

I know that we're not gonna be
hiding in b*mb shelters forever.

If there wasn't all this talk
about fallout and radiation...

I have never been so scared
in my whole life.

Not so much for me,
but for them.

I mean, I'm making that
for her next week.

She may never get to wear it.

You listen to me.

I want you to finish this
dress, okay?

Why?

Because you're gonna have a very angry
little girl on Halloween if you don't.

I knew there wasn't
gonna be a nuclear w*r,

but I couldn't seem
to convince anybody else,

Or stop them from being afraid.

Kimberly was crying at night,
Stevie couldn't sleep,

and Kate was frightened
for her family's future.

Annuals or perennials?

Do you have to sneak up on me?

Well, what, you expect
a hologram to knock?

What are you doin'?

Burying the shotgun shells.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Well, you gotta make sure
the kids don't see you.

Oh, don't worry. They're probably
still inside watching Duck and Cover.

Yeah, Duck...

Duck and Cover? Oh, Duck and Cover.
I remember that.

Isn't that like an air
raid drill for kids?

Yeah, it teaches 'em if you
hide under a picnic blanket

it works wonders
against atom bombs.

Well, it gives 'em
something to do.

What?

You know, then they can feel they have
some control over the uncontrollable.

It gives 'em a feeling that
they can survive a nuclear w*r.

If they carry that feeling
with 'em as they grow up...

Sam, we're talking kids, here.
They need something to do

so they don't feel so afraid.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, at least I'm gonna
leap out of here soon, right?

Eddie!

Wrong.

Get in here.

Burt still gets sh*t and
Mac still goes to prison.

What's up, Mac?

Kate and Stevie say you got Kimberly
all upset by callin' me a liar.

That doesn't sound like
the Sam Beckett I know.

That's not exactly
how it happened.

Well, what exactly did happen?

Well, I... I can
explain that, see, um...

Sam!

Now we're in deep trouble.

Come here, boy. Come here, Sammy.
Come here, Sam.

If he bites real hard
that shell could explode.

Stay out of the room! Stay out of the room!
Get out of the room.

Kate, get the kids outta here.

Sam's got b*ll*ts!

Stevie, get back!

Sam's gonna get hurt.

Here, Sam, come here.

Come, g-give it to me.

Sam, do something.

Come on, come here.

Sam, Sam.

Come on, get it, get it.

These are from my shotgun.

You stole my keys,
so you could take these, right?

I just didn't want to see
anybody get hurt.

Yeah, well, my kids almost did!

Uh, here it comes, Sam.
You better say something.

I'm sorry, Mac.

I want you out of my house, now!

Mac and I argued
for over an hour.

I wasn't getting anywhere.

But at least it kept me with the
family and Mac away from his g*n.

All right, that's it,
I told you I want you out of my house.

Man, this is
brand new territory.

I better get to work.

Come here.

Mac, I can't explain to you
how I know this thing, but...

We interrupt our regularly scheduled
program for this special bulletin.

One moment, please.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the President of the United States.

I have a preliminary statement.

There has been
a great deal of talk...

Dad, what happened
to the lights?

What's goin' on?

It's just a blackout.
Shut up!

Shut up!

My God, it's happening.

Come on, in the shelter.
Let's go. Move!

Are they gonna
drop the b*mb on us?

What's gonna happen?

No, not the b*mb shelter.

It's not World w*r III.

There are no missiles coming.

It's just another drill.
It's just another drill.

It's not an air raid.

It it's gonna happen,
it's going to be all right.

Get in there, right now.

Listen to me,
it's not an air raid.

Come on!
Get out of my way!

Don't go down there.

You stay out of my way or I'm leavin' you
up here. Now, you get in there. Go on!

Sam! Sam!

Mac, get down here!

Dad, we've gotta find Sam!

He'll be okay.

Don't, Daddy,
you gotta find him!

He's gonna die out there.

Listen to me,
it's just a false alarm, okay?

You don't have to
worry about the dog.

Get the kids in the back
bedroom, will you, please?

Get the kids in
the back bedroom.

Turn on the radio,
see if we can get the emergency broadcast.

You gotta get him!
You gotta get Sam!

Stop, stop.
It's okay, it's okay. Shh.

Now, just stay right here.
I'll be right back.

Tell Dad to get Sam.
Please tell him to get Sam.

Listen to me, will you?

What? You I've had
enough of, Eddie.

- I've had enough of you.
- No, listen to me.

Mac, Mac!

Thank God you heard me.
Let me in.

No!

Please!
You gotta let me in.

Mac, let me in.

Burt.

Lock the back hatch now!

Don't worry.

There's not gonna be an att*ck.

There's not...

Please, I gave you
all my money. Let me in.

Burt, just go home.

There comin' over any second!

I swear to you.

Get out of here.

Mac, what are you doin'?

Nothing. Nothing.

Mac, what are you doin'?

Burt's up there.
Burt's up there.

Are you gonna sh**t Burt?

Relax, will you?

Russians. I don't want to die.
I don't want to die.

Shh.

Mac, stop it.

- Just give me the g*n.
- Mac, stop it.

- Let go!
- Give me the g*n.

Stevie, where are you going?

Shh, I've gotta stop
the Russians.

Let go!

Mac, stop!
Please, stop.

What's happening?

It's the w*r!

No, it's just a power blackout.

Some civil defense yahoo.

He panicked
and started a false alarm.

Give me the g*n!

Let go!

Mac! Please!

Burt wasn't sh*t with a shotgun.

I said let go.
I'm only trying to scare him.

What?

Ziggy said he
was sh*t by a .38!

Sam, it's Stevie.
He's got the .38!

Stevie, it's me, Burt.
Oh, God. Don't sh**t.

Stevie's up there.

He's up there
with your .38.

Stevie.

Stevie, put the g*n down.

Stevie, put down the g*n.

Look out, Uncle Eddie.
It's the Russians!

Burt, put down the shovel
really slow.

Burt, put the shovel...

Stevie, come on, now.

It's just Burt,
your neighbor Burt, right?

Yeah. Stevie, it's me.

You remember him, look at him.

Burt the Turtle.

Sam, he's gonna sh**t again.

It's a b*mb! Stevie, quick!
Duck and cover! Duck and cover!

I don't want to die!
I don't want to die.

Give me the g*n.
Give me the g*n.

Give me the g*n. It's okay.
Everything's okay.

It's all right.

Stevie, boy, Stevie.

Sam, it was Stevie
who sh*t him all along.

Mac must have felt so guilty
that he took the blame himself.

The Soviet m*ssile bases
in Cuba are being dismantled.

Their missiles and related
equipment are being crated

and the fixed installations at
these sites are being destroyed.

What does that mean, Dad?

Oh, well, uh,
it means it's over.

No more bombs, no more Russians.

You two kids don't have
anything to be scared of now.

Good. I'm sick
of being scared.

You know, you were right,
about a lot of things.

That was Burt.

Yeah, he just
cancelled his check.

He doesn't want to buy
a shelter now.

You know, Sam,
you can't really blame him.

I mean, they almost
turned him into a colander.

Mac, that makes
five cancellations today.

I know. I know.

Uh, make that six.

Make that six.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I have all my crews
and bulldozers.

You can always do what Burt did.

What's that?

We'll put in pools.

Swimming pools?

Swimming pools?

Yeah, I mean, come on, you already
got the crews and all the equipment.

You could sell fun
instead of fear.

Sell fun instead of fear.
That's great, Sam.

Swimming pools?

Hey, that's good,
Sam, you changed history.

Eddie graduates from college
and he helps Mac

build the biggest swimming
pool company in South Florida.

I'll think about it.

Hey, what's going on here?

Nobody punches me and gets away with
it, you hear me? Nobody.

Butch?

What are you doing?

Dr. Masters wanted me to calm him
down, so I'm gonna calm him down.

You're not giving him
shock treatment?

Shock?

You watch me.

Wait a minute,
you know the rules.

Only a doctor's allowed
to administer shock.

A doctor told me to do it
and that's close enough.

Just wait a second,
I want to go get Dr. Masters, okay?

No, you can't do that.

That's too high.
You'll k*ll him!

Oh, boy!