03x18 - Rick and the Legend

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Silver Spoons". Aired: September 25, 1982 - May 11, 1986.*
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Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
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03x18 - Rick and the Legend

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are, face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hoping to find We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go Making it grow ♪

♪ Together We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about those Things you just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together We're going to find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[PHONE RINGING]

[EDWARD SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS] Hello!

Hello?

Call again sometime.

[VEHICLE REVVING]

You know, you can overdo that jogging stuff.

Right.

Son, how did you get home from school so fast?

My friend Lege drove me.

[VEHICLE REVVING]

That's him parking his wheels.

You have a friend that drives a cement mixer?

Do you know how hard it is to make a car sound that cool?

Yeah, you don't tune it for six years

and then you take the muffler off.

Do me a favor, Dad. When Lege comes in,

please don't make any jokes about his car.

I won't have to. I can make jokes about his name.

Why is he called Lege?

It's short for Legend.

Good thing his nickname isn't Stupendous.

Dad, he's 16.

He's my ticket into the cool crowd.

I mean, anyone who even hangs around Lege

is cool by association.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Come on in, Lege. I want you to meet my dad.

Dad, this is Legend McLemore.

Lege, this is my dad.

Glad to meet you.

Same here.

Nice place you got here, Jake.

Jake?

Lege calls everybody Jake.

Ah.

That's nice.

Why?

It's my thing.

What do you call people named Jake?

I never met anybody named Jake.

But I guess I'd call him Jake.

[LAUGHS]

Dad, Lege has his own place.

You do?

Where are your parents?

In the house, I guess.

I turned my garage into an apartment.

He has a stereo, a refrigerator, a mattress,

and a life-size poster of Christie Brinkley.

Sounds real homey.

Yeah. I figure sooner or later

a guy's gotta get his own place.

Like I said to my mom, "Jake, you know...

I gotta get my own place."

Don't you ever see your parents?

Yeah, I saw my mom this morning.

Where do you think I got this earring?

Dad, is it okay if we use the garage?

Lege is gonna show me how to do a lube job on his car.

It did sound a little squeaky.

Lege has just about got his '66 Tang

in primo condition.

I'm trying to save $118 for an important part I need.

A muffler?

No, an 18-note car horn.

[IMITATES CAR HORN PLAYING "LA CUCARACHA"]

[FINISHES MELODY]

[LAUGHS]

Love those horns.

Oh, before I forget, will you sign this?

We're taking a field trip to the U.N.

Oh, sure, son.

Hey, nice pen, Jake.

Is that real gold?

Yeah. My grandfather gave me it to me when I was a kid.

Wow.

This must be really old.

There you go, son. Thanks.

Well, I'm gonna go jog.

Catch you later, Jake.

So how's about a little donation for the old gas fund, huh, Jake?

Sure. Got change for a 10?

Yep, here's a quarter.

Thanks.

[ENGINE REVVING]

I just had a conversation with Letch.

You mean Lege.

No, I mean Letch.

He said if I ever broke up with you,

I should give him a call.

Come on, Katie, he was just kidding.

Oh, was he?

Well, why did he give me his number on this matchbook?

That little punk.

Why does Rick wanna hang around with this guy?

Well, he's probably taken in by that Matt Dillon, James Dean,

Marlon Brando rebellious attitude.

Oh, great, I just named my three favorite actors.

Maybe the best thing for you to do

is to tell Rick that you'd prefer it

if he didn't hang around with this kid anymore.

Oh, believe me, Kate,

every instinct in my body tells me to do that.

But I'm gonna follow Dr. Sorrentino's advice on this.

He says that attacking your son's friend

only makes your son defensive,

and that I should keep in mind the three C's.

Stay calm, cool and clear-headed.

Hiya, Jake.

Who are you calling Jake?

I-- Edward,

what happened to the three C's?

Son, you may call me Dad or Father, or Pater, or Pop.

And even-- I don't like this one a whole lot.

--Edward. But not Jake.

Okay, Dad.

Here are the keys to your Ferrari.

What are you doing with these?

It was blocking the garage,

so Lege moved it out of the way.

You let that hockey puck drive my Ferrari?

Uh-oh. Lege said there might be trouble.

In all fairness to your father,

you should have asked permission.

Lege said if you have to ask a parent something,

it's a guaranteed no.

Oh, Lege said that, did he?

I'll tell you what your father says.

You ever let that kid near my car again

and you're in big trouble.

And two things I never wanna hear again:

"Lege said" and "hiya, Jake."

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hiya, Jake.

Lege said I could help work on the car.

That's it.

Kate, where do we find a good Lege exorcist?

Hey, Rick, I covered for you at soccer practice.

I told the coach you broke your leg.

So if you run into him tomorrow, limp.

Rick, why didn't you go to soccer practice?

Well, I was talking it over with Lege,

and we've decided I should hang up my soccer shoes.

Hang up your soccer shoes? I just bought them.

I thought you loved soccer.

Yeah. Kicking the ball around with the other guys.

You know, great guys, your age.

Lege said...

I mean, Lege made the accurate observation

that running around with 11 other guys in the same uniform

was robbing me of my...

individuality.

And individuality is real important.

Hey, Jake, I think your blackberry jelly has gone bad,

I mean, it tastes really salty.

Did that jelly come in a little bitty jar labeled "beluga"?

That's the one.

Great.

You're eating a $300 peanut butter and caviar sandwich.

Three hundred bucks?

I could buy two and a half car horns with that.

RICK: Come on, let's go.

Now I know why they really call him Lege.

He makes parents wanna be out on one.

So, Jake...

I got sort of a problem.

In history class, I'm supposed to do

a report on a famous American.

I just can't think of anyone.

Well, how about John F. Kennedy?

Hey, he's American.

And famous.

But is he famous enough to fill six to eight pages?

Of course.

Typewritten, double-spaced? Uh-huh.

And could you throw in footnotes and a bibliography?

Oh, you want me to do this for you?

Hey, thanks.

And to show you my appreciation,

I'll take you to the drag races Saturday night.

You've got a deal.

Hey, Rick, maybe you can get a lot of things wrong

so it'll look like Lege really did it himself.

Good thinking.

Maybe someday I'll let you do a paper for me.

You mean it?

What do you think? I'm gonna do it?

[LAUGHING]

Any more items for the dry cleaners, sir?

No, I don't think so, Winthrop, thank you.

Oh, what about your jacket?

Oh, yeah.

Would you take this jacket for me, Winthrop?

It would make my day.

Where's my gold pen?

Oh, are you sure you put it in your coat?

Yeah, I'm absolutely sure.

I remember the last time I saw it too.

Lege was admiring it.

He wanted to know if it was real gold.

You think he stole it?

[CAR HORN PLAYING "LA CUCARACHA"]

[ENGINE REVVING]

[CAR HORN PLAYING "LA CUCARACHA"]

My gold pen would sure pay

for Lege's nice new horn, wouldn't it?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, I'm sorry, Winthrop, here.

Thank you.

Jake.

That does it, Kate.

I've had it with that juvenile delinquent.

Well, you're not even sure he took it.

Oh, grow up, Kate.

He had the opportunity, he had the motive,

and it'd be just like him to do something like that.

Well, I think you're jumping to conclusions.

Why don't I go look in the library?

[SCOFFS] Go ahead. You're wasting your time.

That pen is now playing "La Cucaracha."

Here you go, Lege. Return it whenever you want.

Thanks, Jake.

Rick. That's your umbrella.

I know, but it might rain.

And Lege can't get the top of his car up.

Heard your new horn.

Nice tune.

It plays 75 others.

Including "Ave Maria."

I made a station wagon full of nuns cry.

You know, I'm reminded of the fact that just a few days ago,

you didn't have enough money to buy a new horn.

And...

[LAUGHS]

Now you do.

Life, huh?

I came into some money.

Really?

How fortunate.

Yep. Well, I gotta go.

Catch you later.

Rick.

You have any notes from school you need me to sign?

No, I don't.

That's good because I don't have my gold pen anymore.

What happened to it?

Well, either it got up and walked away by itself...

or your friend stole it.

You know, Dad, I've kept cool about this,

but I'm gonna come right out and say it.

You just don't like Lege.

Son, he took my pen to pay for that stupid horn.

He explained where he got the money.

He-he came into it.

Right.

What is the fascination with this guy?

Dad, he shaves twice a week.

He's going out with a 24-year-old waitress

named Susie.

The guy is a legend.

He's teaching me a lot.

That's what I'm afraid of.

I'm sorry you don't like Lege because I do.

Son, I just want you to be your own person.

Not some hot-rodding, bebopping,

jive-talking, Jake-calling pen stealer.

You have no proof of that.

And you have no right to tell me who my friends should be.

A parent just doesn't understand.

Oh, is that another thing that Lege said?

No.

He wrote a song about it.

Shouldn't Lege be here by now?

The drag races start in half an hour,

and it takes 45 minutes to get there.

Not the way Lege drives.

I wish you could go with us.

But it's like Lege says, no.

How about a quick round of checkers with your old buddy?

Sure.

I guess there's still a small part of me

that enjoys the simple things.

But just one quick game, okay? All right.

That's 14 games for me and 10 for you.

I can't concentrate on checkers. What happened to Lege?

He's only three hours late.

He could've had an accident.

Maybe he was driving along

and took his hands off the wheel to do this:

I hope not.

Don't feel so bad, Rick.

He just probably decided to ditch you

and go have fun with other people.

Lege wouldn't do that to a friend.

He has a code. He lives by it.

I'm gonna call his place again.

Hello?

Hi, Lege, it's Rick.

I can hardly hear you. Will turn down the TV?

Oh.

Those are real people laughing and having fun.

What happened to the drag races?

That good, huh?

Thought you were supposed to take me?

Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

Catch you later.

Jake.

I do not want to eat at Kung Pao Gardens again soon.

I think you had too much of the twice-fried pork.

Yeah. Once fried is enough.

Hey, look.

Your pen.

My pen?

And there's a note from the butler.

"Dear sir, this pen was retrieved

"from the lining of your sport coat

by Swifty's Dry Cleaning Service."

[SCOFFS]

How about that?

That was nice of Swifty's to return it.

Looks like the world is full of honest people.

It also looks like Lege really did come into some money.

I guess.

Probably stole somebody else's pen.

Edward. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

I guess I was a little quick to judge

because I can't stand the bum.

Alfonso.

What are you doing here?

I was hanging out with Rick.

He's home?

He didn't go to the drag races?

Uh, no.

Oops, gotta split. Bye.

Wait.

I'll give you a ride home. Thanks.

I think you ought to apologize to Rick.

Right.

I think now that I have my pen,

I could just write him a note.

Right.

Hi, son.

Oh, hi, Dad.

You didn't go to the drag races, huh?

No, I had to finish some schoolwork.

Paper on John F. Kennedy.

Oh.

You know, I always admired John F. Kennedy

because he could admit when he was wrong.

I always thought that was so admirable.

So endearing.

So human.

So mature.

So...

So, what are you wrong about?

Found my pen.

See, it was somehow down in the lining of my coat.

I told you Lege didn't steal it.

I was so sure that kid was no good

I wanted find something wrong no matter if it's true or not.

I guess he has more character than I gave him credit for.

You're wrong again, Dad.

Huh?

Lege isn't such a great guy.

See, the reason I didn't go to the races tonight

is because he had something better to do.

He was just taking advantage of me.

I was giving him gas money, doing his homework.

Following him around like a little puppy.

I wanted to be just like him.

I should have listened to you.

I feel so stupid.

Come on, you can't feel stupid

every time somebody disappoints you.

See, you'll find through life, son, people are like...

Like...

shoes.

Huh?

Well, what I mean is you've gotta try on

all kinds of different styles

before you decide what you really want.

And sometimes what seems really great in the store

winds up pinching your feet and giving you blisters.

You see, you can't blame yourself.

It happens to everybody.

Makes sense, Dad. Good.

But I have to disagree with you on one thing.

What's that?

I think people are more like raincoats.

Or maybe waffle iron.

Maybe lawn mowers.

How's it going, Jake?

Oh, hi, Lege.

So you need a ride to school?

No, thanks. I can't afford it.

I don't have $5.

Oh, I get it.

You're a little bummed because of the drag races.

Listen, I was thinking of calling you,

but some people came over,

one thing led to another,

where's my Kennedy paper?

Oh, your Kennedy paper, it's right here.

I had it researched, typed and footnoted.

All right. It's due this morning.

Catch you later, Jake.

I don't believe you gave him that Kennedy paper

after what he did to you the other night.

Here's a copy of it.

Read it.

"John F. Kennedy, a great American.

"John F. Kennedy was

"the 35th president of the United States.

"Before that, he was a senator of Massachusetts,

and before that he had a balloon farm on Mars"?

Rick, he'll probably get an F on this paper.

Right. Right.

♪ Together We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about those Things you just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪
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