02x01 - The Lung Goodbye

Episode transcripts for the TV show "L. A. Law". Aired: September 15, 1986 – May 19, 1994.*
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High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.
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02x01 - The Lung Goodbye

Post by bunniefuu »

Your wife is one
of the biggest stars

In series television.

She must be pulling down
easy 50 grand an episode

And she thinks
she can discard you

Like a piece of used kleenex?

Forget it.

Now what sort of work did you do

Before your marriage, mr. Sapin.

I was a personal trainer.

Mm-hmm, I take it that's
where you two met.

She was my best client.

She blimped up over a hiatus

And I had to get
her back in shape

Before the start of production.

Look, I know this is hard
to believe but this was me.

Runner up, mr. Sacramento
1982 and look at me now.

I really loved this woman.

For five years, I devoted
my whole life to her

And without warning
she just dumps me.

I still can't believe
it, I deserve better.

Here, here.

Yeah, sorry.

Don't be.

You've been deeply hurt.

And I think $2, $3
million settlement

Plus some spousal support.

Alimony?

Absolutely.

Look, the feminist
door swings both ways

And it's not as if
you don't deserve it.

Well, thank you, mr. Becker.

Arnie.

Arnie.

Look, there is one other
question I'd like to ask you.

Yeah, anything.

I go to the gym,

I use the machines
three times a week,

But I can't seem to get
any definition right here.

Well, let's have a look.
Take off your shirt.

Do you use any
supplements at all?

Crystallized sublingual
amino acids, lots of c&es, zinc,

Dolomite, acidophilus,
wheat grass, spirulina.

What about free weights?

No, just the machines.

Well, if we're going
to bulk up here

We're going to have
to use free weights.

You're going to have to
work these pecs till they burn

And quite frankly I'd shave
off all that ugly chest hair.

Arnie, I can't figure
out your scribbles here.

Rox!

Roxanne!

Sorry.

I'm stuck in traffic,

Suddenly smoke is
pouring out of the rear,

Then the oil light goes on.

By the time I get the
car off the freeway

The engine block has crashed.

Didn't you just drop a new
transmission into it last time?

Yeah, I've had it.

I'm selling that damn
thing and I'm getting me

Some basic transportation.

No frills, no
statement, just a car.

I agree.

Oh, I don't know.

We spend so much time driving,

Why not have a little fun?

Like it or not, victor,
you are what you drive.

It's nonsense.

No, it isn't.

The car you drive is as personal

As the clothes you wear.

Guys, I'm not looking to
make a statement with my car.

I just want to get to work.

Lest we forgot, the luxury
to indulge in or turn up

Our noses at pricey automobiles

Or other symbols of
our professional standing

Depends wholly on our capacity

To generate fees in
which spirit, miss kelsey,

Hamilton versus
arcan, life and casualty.

Settlement papers
are being drawn.

Miss hamilton has
agreed to drop her suit in

Consideration of a lump
sum payment of $500,000.

That's excellent, ann.

Perhaps it will offset
the cost of litigating

O'brien versus lehigh tobacco.

Mr. Kuzak, where do we stand?

Opening arguments
were yesterday.

And how much
longer may we expect

This crusade to
occupy your time?

This may be a long
sh*t, douglas,

But cigarettes are
as addictive as heroin

And as deadly as poison

And if the government won't
put them out of business,

Somebody has got to.

Go get them, mike.

How can you advocate
suing a tobacco company

While you sit there
eating that poison?

What are you going to do

When your arteries
harden, sue the bakery?

No one ever d*ed from
eating a jelly doughnut, ann.

So, far.

What's with you?

For future reference, michael,

In view of the most recent
appellate court decisions,

I fail to see the
point of pursuing

This type of long
sh*t litigation.

The point is that
my mother smoked

Two packs of cigarettes
a day for 40 years

And finally d*ed of lung cancer.

That's the point, douglas.

Douglas, why don't we
move on to another item?

Arnold, sapin versus miller.

Yeah, as you may have
read in the tabloids,

Jocelyn miller dumped
her husband last month.

We're seeking to
set aside the pre-nup

And get him some
spousal support.

Are you telling us that
a healthy guy in his 30s

Is going to have trouble
supporting himself?

Mr. Sapin set aside
a successful career

To become a full time homemaker.

How is that different from women

Who've done the same

In the service of their
high powered husbands?

Sounds like a truly
liberated man to me.

Sounds to me like a cheap
gigolo looking to extend

A free ride on the gravy train.

That's it.

I'm out of here.

Lastly, on an
administrative note,

After battling for two weeks

With building management
I finally secured

Parking for our new...

For our new associates.

Hence beginning
tomorrow, mr. Gianelli

And ms. Kleinberg may
park on lower level c.

Head-in only.

Well, as that seems to
conclude our agenda,

Shall we adjourn?

I found that extremely
embarrassing, stuart.

Oh! You found that
embarrassing, really?

I say black and you say white.

I say tomato and
you say to-maato,

You found that embarrassing.

Look, ever since we
decided against this

Quickie wedding approach...

You have been racing around

Like you were
planning a coronation.

Hey, you were the one
who always dreamed about

Having a wedding at the
bel-air hotel, honey, not me.

Well, then why don't you
let me handle it, stuart,

Instead of doing
what you always do,

Which is to take
over everything?

Because every time I
bring up anything to do

With the wedding,
you pick a fight!

Hogwash!

Ann, you want me
to read your mind!

And when I can't, or pardon me,

You change and I'm
left holding the bag.

Stuart, whatever you
want just let me know.

That's what I'm talking
about, you're doing it again.

All right, what do
you want me to do?

I want us to see a therapist.

Somebody with an
objective point of view

And somebody who can help us

Sort through obviously
complicated stuff here.

That's not my style, stuart.

You afraid?

No.

I just believe in working
out my own problems.

Besides where would
we even look for one?

I've compiled a list.

I did a little research, ann.

Typical markowitz.

First you figure out
what's wrong between us,

Then you decide how to fix it.

Where do I fit on?

Oh, yeah.

You're going to
take half the list

And I'm going to
take half the list.

If you want to find
some names of your own,

Be my guest.

I just want to deal with this.

Fine. Fine.

This one is nice.

What are we looking
at in terms of budget?

I just want basic
transportation.

I can do that.

I can put you in
something very cheap.

Remember to change
the oil every 5,000 miles,

You'll probably
never have a problem.

That sounds great.

Sounds great.

I just happen to have
a different philosophy.

Which is?

I don't believe in
depreciating assets

In an inflationary economy.

The minute you hit the streets

In that so-called cheap
car, it drops 30% in value.

After four years,
it depreciates 80%,

But to me if you want true value

You go top of the line.

This, mr. Sifuentes
is top of the line.

This is a $52,000 car!

It's a $52,000 investment.

Four years out you'll
have an option to buy

And it's still going to yield

85% Of its value on resale.

I got to admit it's
really comfortable.

I can put you in this car today.

It's loaded, top of the
line, chrome wheels,

Custom sound system.

And believe me, six months
from now you don't like it,

I'll have a line
stretching to the sidewalk

Waiting to take
it off your hands.

Would you like to drive it?

Mr. O'brien, would you state

Your age and occupation please?

Forty-six, construction foreman

Till I had to stop
three years ago.

What have you been
doing since then?

In and out of hospitals,
but I'm home with this.

I'm not good for much,

But lying down
and watching the tv.

Mr. O'brien, are you in pain?

I have to say it's real bad.

Like I'm choking.

It's getting worse.

Did you ever smoke
cigarettes, mr. O'brien?

Two, three packs a day
since I was 16 years old.

Do you still smoke cigarettes?

Four years ago, I started
having trouble breathing.

The doctors said
I have emphysema.

That if I didn't stop
smoking, I was going to die.

And so you stopped right then?

I went to one of those
classes and stopped for a while.

I ended up starting it again.

My breathing got
worse and worse.

Finally, I got so scared...

I just quit cold turkey.

And did your health
improve after that?

No, just kept getting sicker.

Thank you.

Nothing further this time.

Mr. O'brien, were you ever
aware of the controversy

About the health
effects of smoking?

Not when I started.

Just my mother saying it
would stunt my growth,

That kind of thing.

But you did know in recent years

That some medical groups

Believe there are risks
associated with smoking.

Yes.

And you were aware
of the warnings

Carried on cigarette packages?

Yes.

Did anyone ever force
you to smoke, mr. O'brien?

No.

Did anyone ever try to
convince you to quit smoking?

My wife did.

Yet you chose to smoke anyway.

Because you wanted to,

Because you enjoyed
it, is that right?

When I knew it was
going to k*ll me, I quit.

Really?

Is this a picture of
you sitting outside

This courtroom
yesterday morning?

Yes.

Is that a lit cigarette
in your mouth?

Yes.

So if actions speak
louder than words,

What this says to me is

You're the kind of
guy who does exactly

What he wants, no
matter what the doctors

Or anyone else says.

Objection argumentative.

Withdraw.

I have nothing further.

Mr. O'brien, could you tell us

How you came to be smoking a
cigarette yesterday morning?

I was waiting for
the trial to start.

I was sweating with nerves.

I had this terrible
craving for a smoke...

Like some kind of damn junkie.

I saw this burning
bud in the ash can...

And I picked it up.

And you did this even
though you had been warned

That smoking would make
your condition worse.

I know it was stupid but
I thought what the hell,

Doctors give me a year
tops, why deprive myself now?

Thank you, mr. O'brien.

You're excused, sir.

So does this qualify
as a power breakfast?

I wouldn't know.

I usually have peanut butter
on toast with my 5-year old.

Check please.

Right away, sir.

Hey, I really appreciate
you taking the time

To meet with me.

My mother always says if
you want to learn about a firm,

Get asking the partners,

They'll just tell you
what you want to hear.

Go to the associates.

Well, I probably sound like

Some kind of
corporate cheerleader.

I really love it at
mckenzie brackman.

Everybody is
basically supportive.

They are very
responsive to your needs.

It's not like some of
those big cut throat firms

I've heard about where everybody

Is trying to get ahead by
climbing over the dead bodies.

Sounds almost
too good to be true.

Well, the pay isn't as good
as some of the bigger firms.

That's okay.

There are things that
matter more than money.

The quality of
your life, your work.

I don't want to give you
the wrong impression.

I mean about issue
cases pro bono.

They will let you take some on,

Mckenzie particularly
but brackman,

He's basically
pretty bottom line

About billable hours.

It's no problem.

I was looking toward a more
general practice anyway.

And it's not that
I'm not unconcerned

About social
issues, black issues,

But damn it, I'm
an individual first.

The whole idea
that I have to carry

Some kind of banners is...

I don't sound too
defensive, do i?

Believe me, I didn't
mean anything.

Yeah.

Anyway, my interview
is next tuesday.

Any words of advice?

I think you'll knock them
dead and if I had to vote...

Let me get this, you
don't have a job yet.

Okay, but only on condition

That when my employment
status does change,

You'll let me take
you to dinner?

Sounds great.

Is that victor?

Yeah, I think so.

Come on, let's get him.

Mr. Sifuentes?

Oh, this is basic
transportation, huh?

This is an investment.

Long-term value instead
of short-term savings.

Yeah, definitely going
to make a major dent

In your short term savings.

We're talking about lifestyle
investment here, stuart.

This car is going to attract

A certain kind of
woman in droves.

Second best, mr. Sifuentes.

Probably just as well gives
you something to aspire to.

He seems to be
adjusting to his new

With mackenzie brackman.

Victor, think about a car...

I've got a guy that can give you

A great deal on
the new mitsubishi.

Whoa, you're going to
put a dimple on my door.

No, it wasn't exactly
a mutual decision.

Then what exactly was it?

Well, I do think he can
be a little controlling

And manipulative.

My relationship with
my father was fine, why?

No, I don't think I'm
being defensive at all.

I'm a lawyer.

He's a lawyer too.

What do you mean I
sound like a lawyer?

What's that supposed to imply?

Are you telling me that
I've been on the phone

For 10 minutes spilling my guts

And you don't even
treat attorneys?

What?

Let me tell you
something, buster,

You could use some
therapy yourself!

It really, really has a
lot to do with control

I think, you know.

No, i... I don't think we're
looking for a way out.

We're really looking
for a way back in.

What, you don't see couples
who want to stay together?

Yeah, you're the
specialist but...

Yeah, look, I think we should
look for somebody else.

Oh, you've written a book?

Hey, well, what's it
called, I'll look for it.

Creative encoupling.

Thank you, thank you very much.

I'm not exactly certain

I understand our problem.

We have here a signed, witnessed

And notarized
prenuptial agreement.

Paragraph 1,

You client waves all right
to community property

In lieu of a $25,000
cash settlement.

Here is the check.

Paragraph 2,

My client retains her
separate property,

Your client retains
his separate property,

To wit, a single family
dwelling in beachwood canyon.

Yeah, which I had to
sell to meet expenses

I don't even own my
own place anymore.

I know. I'll take care of it.

So since my client

Is in total good faith here

And since she's starting
a film in paris in 5 weeks,

If we could just get
these papers signed.

Afraid not.

Your client caused my
client to sign this agreement

While under duress

And without sufficient
knowledge of the facts.

You can forget
about your 25 grand,

My client is entitled to

One half of all
community property

Which according to our
preliminary investigation

Puts us somewhere
in the neighborhood

Of two to three million.

This is absolutely ludicrous.

Plus spousal support in the
amount of $7,500 per month.

You should be ashamed
yourself, you big tub.

For five years he
spends my money...

Spend your money? I managed it.

You managed to spend it
as fast as I could make it.

It's very simple, mr. Becker,

Your client has had a nice
ride at my client's expense.

Now it's time he hitched
his wagon to a new star.

I resent that
characterization and frankly,

I see no purpose in
continuing this meeting.

We'll see you ladies in court.

Come on.

Oh, miss miller, may I
have your autograph?

Yeah, I'd love it too.

They thought they
can embarrass you

Into a bad settlement.

Believe me, they are going
to pay the price in court.

I have total
confidence in you, arnie.

Come on.

I am going to need a retainer

In addition to the contingency
to take this to trial.

Yeah, of course, how much?

$10,000 Should do it.

Believe me, it will
seem very modest

By the time I'm finished.

You're going to
be a wealthy man.

Well, look, I have
a favor to ask.

If you cash this immediately,
it will clean me out.

I'd appreciate it if you
held it a day or two

Until escrow closes
on my beachwood house.

I have no problem with that.

Rox, come in a minute?

Thanks, arnie, have a nice day.

Hey, we're going to get them.

And you have a nice day too.

Rox, take this to the bank
and deposit it immediately.

Yeah, it has a lot to
do with control I think.

a**l retentive?

I don't know about that...

a**l retentive.

When can we see you?

Oh, look, I don't think it
can wait three months.

No, can't you shift
something around?

Yeah, I'm sorry
too, I'm real sorry.

Yeah, thank you.

Thanks for your time.

I've been grinding
into a brick wall here.

I just got off the
phone with a woman

Who calls herself
a feminist therapist.

She said she has to see me alone

First to resolve my
need to be exploited.

Stuart, I'm just not comfortable

Telling the intimate
personal details

Of my life to strangers.

Yeah, but we got to
do something, ann.

Our communication stinks.

Stuart, we're not children,
we don't have to run to daddy

Every time we have a problem.

That's childish, ann.

You got to give it a chance
first before you say no.

Fine.

Fine.

Mr. Fredericks, you
are the president

Of the lehigh tobacco
company, is that correct?

Yes, since 1967.

Your industry spends
a great deal of money

On advertising, doesn't it?

Something like $2 billion
a year, is that correct?

Well, I'm not
personally familiar

With the total amount but I
wouldn't argue it with you.

Mr. Fredericks, is this
one of your company's ads?

Yes, sir.

Would it be fair to say that
this ad is meant to convey

That smoking is something
that young, attractive,

Healthy people would
enjoy sort of like skiing?

Well, I hope so.

That's what advertising
is all about, mr. Kuzak.

To get people to
buy your product.

Mr. Fredericks, does
your company manufacture

This brand of cigarettes?

Yes, it does.

Would you please read for
the court, mr. Fredericks,

What it says there under
surgeon general's warning.

"Smoking causes lung cancer,
heart disease, emphysema,

And may complicate pregnancy."

So contrary to your ad,
smoking isn't something

That young healthy
people ought to do,

That is if they want
to stay healthy.

Well, the government requires us

To print those warnings
on our packages,

But that doesn't
necessarily mean

That we believe them.

So you're saying
that you dispute

The conclusions of
the surgeon general?

Well, I guess what I'm saying is

That I have a hard time
believing a lot of things

The government
tells me these days.

Mr. Fredericks, do
you encourage people

That you know to smoke, say
friends or family members?

Oh, I wouldn't
presume to recommend

One way or the other.

I don't know what it
means to you, mr. Kuzak,

But to me being an
adult american citizen

Means having the right
to make your own choices.

How about m*rder,
mr. Fredericks,

Do you want that right too?

Objection! Withdraw
the question.

Nothing further.

Mr. Fredericks, how old are you?

I'm 66, I'll be 67 next month.

Are you a smoker?

I am, two packs a day
ever since I was 19.

And how is your health?

Well, in my last physical
my doctor told me

I'll live to be 100, unless
I get hit by a bus first.

So you haven't experienced
any ill effects from smoking?

For me at least I
find it to be a benefit.

In what way, mr. Fredericks?

It helps to alleviate stress
which in my opinion is really

What's k*lling
people these days.

I am so excited about
victor's new car.

Have you seen it?

It's so elegant.

It's such a power statement,
and he's so cute with it too.

Sherry, it's only a car.

Who is he kidding?

He thinks it's sexier than I am.

So, mike, how's the trial going?

Well, I'm holding my own.

Do you really have to smoke?

Oh, come on, mickey, it's
only my second one today.

It isn't going to k*ll me.

It's not just you,

It's everyone around
you that it affects.

Okay, fine.

Excuse me, I'm going
to the little girls.

Wait. I'll go with you.

I'll sneak one in there.

Boy.

Does he always rag on you
like that about your smoking?

I mean, everybody has
got something, right?

I mean, I get around a man
that I really want to impress

And all they do is eat
and talk, eat and talk.

I hate it but I
can't stop myself.

Don't be silly, sherry.

You were fine.

Besides with a figure
like yours, why worry?

Now if I ate the
dessert you just ate,

I'd gain 5 pounds.

What's your secret?

Do you really want to know?

Yeah.

You're kidding.

Hey. It's not a major problem.

I just do it when
I eat too much.

I'll wait outside, okay.

Okay, see you in a sec.

Fine.

Sherry will be
along in a minute.

I'm parked in the street.

I don't trust valet parking.

So why don't I get the car
and meet you guys out front.

Hey! Hey you, that's my car!

Hey, you come back here!

Give me that!

Oh, no.

Oh.

Yeah.

Good news is that escrow on

Mr. Sacramento's
beachwood house closed.

Oh, great.

The bad news is that his
share of the proceeds

Came to $3,452.

Come on, rox.

He refinanced the house
and took out a second.

By the time
everyone was paid up,

That was all that was left.

What about the
check for $10,000?

Pure rubber.

Do you want to
petition the court

To have a new lawyer assigned?

No.

No, look he's a swine,
rox, but he's my swine

And all my best instincts

Tell me that there
is money there.

I just have to figure out
how to shake the tree.

Rox? Mm-hmm?

How about this?

She starts sh**ting a movie
in paris in 5 weeks, right?

If we file for an
accelerated trial,

It may just be au
revoir, gay paris.

Hello... Let's see
if that gives us

A little more leverage.

Ann. Ann, I found the answer.

Intelligent, reasonable,
no psycho-babble,

Plus they can see
us tomorrow at 5.30.

They?

It's a married therapist team.

Stuart, I'm have enough
trouble with one person,

Don't you think two is overkill?

Think about it, ann,
makes a lot of sense.

We get the wisdom of two
therapists instead of one.

Plus they are married, you know,

They know the
territory intimately.

And there's a balance, no
ganging up two against one.

Maybe we should just
take this to a jury, stuart.

That way we get the
benefit of 12 opinions.

Ann, one sh*t,
it's all I'm asking.

Fine.

I'll tell them everything.

I'll tell them about how my
mother never breastfed me

And about how I had
a crush on my father

From the time I was four.

You never told me about that.

Finally dr. Saxon, will
you describe for the court

The research which you have done

On the effects of
smoking tobacco?

In more than two dozen
experiments on laboratory rats

Pumping the equivalent of
three packs of cigarettes a day

Into their lungs I was
never able to induce

Emphysema or any other disease.

Your witness, mr. Kuzak.

Dr. Saxon, do you
agree or disagree

With the surgeon
general's conclusion

That one in four
smokers will die

Prematurely from diseases
caused by cigarettes?

I don't believe a cause
or relationship between

Smoking and disease has
been established by anyone

Including the surgeon general.

And can you name any reputable

Medical organization
that shares your view?

I don't keep lists.

What about a
statistical correlation

Between smoking and disease?

There's an old
saying, there are liars,

Damned liars and statisticians.

Which means you can make
statistics prove anything.

You don't smoke,
do you, dr. Saxon?

No, I don't.

And is one reason for
that because you feel

That smoking is bad
for your health?

Just never interested me.

You didn't answer my
question, dr. Saxon.

Smoking may carry some risk,

So does breathing
the air in los angeles.

Every day we're exposed
to all kinds of risks

From carcinogens
in our environment

And there's no
way of avoiding it

Unless you want to
live in a cave somewhere.

Where do you get your
funding for your research?

The council for
tobacco research.

Which is funded entirely

By the tobacco
companies, isn't that true?

I believe that's
essentially correct

But that has no bearing

On how I conduct my research.

I'm a scientist.

How many times have you
given depositions or testified

On behalf of the tobacco
companies in suits like this?

I can't say exactly. A
dozen, perhaps 15 times.

Seventeen times
exactly, isn't that true?

If you say so.

I say so.

No further questions.

At this time, your honor,

The defense would like
to call phyllis o'brien.

I can't.

It's all right. Trust me.

Mrs. O'brien, you're seeking
damages in this matter

For the loss of your husband's
companionship, is that right?

Yes.

Did you ever try to convince
your husband to quit smoking?

A million times.

After the doctors told him

He had emphysema I
begged him to stop.

At which time as
I understand it,

He went to a quit smoking class

And did manage to
stop for a while, right?

Yes.

And then as soon as he did,

You walked out
on him, didn't you?

Objection, irrelevant.

Your honor, it goes
to the issue of liabilities

And damages.

Not to mention the
numerous studies indicating

That stress is an important
concomitant in many diseases

Including emphysema.

I'll allow you a
little more latitude.

Mrs. O'brien, did you
or didn't you walk out

On your husband just two
weeks after he stopped smoking?

It was a hard time
for both of us.

And isn't it true
that you had an affair

During that period?

Objection!

And that you became
pregnant and had an abortion

Because you weren't
sure who's baby it was?

Objection, your honor!
Please don't do this to him.

This is totally irrelevant
and without foundation.

Counsel approach.

Mr. Mathers,
where is this going?

Till to the issues of stress

Liability and
damages, your honor.

If I could be allowed
the indulgence

Of just one last question.

One.

Mrs. O'brien.

Yes.

I want you to remember
that you're under oath.

Isn't it true that you
left your husband

Because you wanted a divorce,

And the only reason
you went back was

Because you figured
he was going to die soon.

Objection!

And you could make some
money off his corpse?

I'd ask the counsel be...
The jury be instructed...

Oh, my god!

You are trying to
k*ll him right now!

Mr. O'brien, are you all right?

He needs a doctor.

We're in recess.

Mr. Kuzak, you'll let me know

When and if we are
able to proceed.

Yes, your honor.

Officer goodman?

Sergeant wilkins?

The judge is getting
real antsy back there.

Are you ready to
go with anything yet?

I'm still calling
witnesses, okay?

Mrs. Malory, bernice malory.

Victor sifuentes,
witness on the... Madam.

Victor, you did not
have to come down.

I could have put you on call.

It's okay.

I thought it might be
interesting to see this stuff

From the witnesses
point of view.

Great, huh?

Hey. How did this guy
get busted anyway?

The routine traffic stop,
your radio was in his trunk.

Can I look at the
rest of the report?

Yeah, you'll enjoy
his rap sheet.

Five auto burglary
priors, a couple of gtas.

By the way have you
seen sherry again?

You know, they
always seem so normal

When I first meet them.

Officer dorslag?

Officer dorslag?

Officer varian?

Oh, great.

Grace, it looks to me like
there's going to be a problem

With probable cause on
the search of the trunk.

I mean, I think this
guy is going to walk.

Victor, trust me, I am
not going to let the guy

Who ripped you off
skate out of here.

Now believe me, I
know what it's like.

Even though it is just
a radio, it's like this

Personal violation when
it happens to you, right?

And this pd is brand new,

He's even more swamped than I am

And I'll just make him
an offer he can't refuse.

Excuse me.

Officer goodman
on the rodricks 459.

Where the hell have you been?

Victor, go back to work.

I'll take care of your thing.

I'll call you with
the disposition.

Okay.

Responsibility,
ladies and gentleman,

That's what this case
really boils down to.

These huge tobacco
companies are selling addiction,

Suffering, disease, death,

And they are not
being held accountable.

Tragically, absent a miracle...

There's nothing we can
do to save my client's life.

But all you can do for
mr. O'brien is to compensate him

For his medical
bills, his lost wages.

You could even attempt
to compensate him

For the terrible
pain and suffering

That he's been through.

You could even attempt
to compensate his wife

For all of the years

That she's going to be
deprived of his company.

But there is one more
very important thing

That you can do.

By awarding mr. O'brien
substantial damages

You can send a powerful message

To the tobacco industry

That if you insist on marketing
this insidious product,

Be prepared to pay
dearly for that right.

To paraphrase a
great american patriot,

I may not agree
with a single word of

What mr. Kuzak says,

But I would defend to my
death his right to say it.

And in the end, isn't that

What this case is really about?

Freedom, those precious
rights guaranteed

Under the constitution
to every american citizen

To express himself

As he chooses in
thought, speech and action.

You've heard a lot of
conflicting testimony here.

Maybe smoking is
dangerous, maybe it isn't.

But if smoking is dangerous,
then so is flying an airplane

Or skiing down a mountain.

All of us everyday measure
risks and make choices.

That's exactly
what mr. O'brien did.

Only now he's asking
to have it both ways.

He wants the freedom
to do as he wants,

But he also wants

Someone else to
take the responsibility

If he doesn't like the outcome.

As much compassion as
we may feel for mr. O'brien,

That does not
entitle him to seek out

Scapegoats or
financial windfalls.

Ladies and gentleman,

In the furtherance
of your oath as jurors,

I ask you to set
aside your emotions,

And draw that
important distinction.

Thank you.

Are you sure you won't
join me in champagne?

Not when I'm doing business.

I ought to tell
you, miss miller,

I'm uncomfortable
being here at all.

As I told you over the phone,
it's highly unethical for me

To see you without
your attorney present.

And I told you on the
phone I fired my attorney.

I'm representing myself.

Fair enough, but I have
to warn you my client

Has been deeply wounded.

They are not the kind of wounds

That are easily
healed by a settlement.

You forced my
hand with this motion

For an accelerated
trial, mr. Becker.

But there's no cliche I believe

When it comes to cutting a deal.

A bird in the hand is
worth two in the bush.

Excuse me.

Mr. Becker, $500,000 cash.

In return dan sapin is
out of my life forever

By sundown tomorrow.

You should have
been a lawyer, lady.

Couldn't afford the pay cut.

Well?

I... I think I can sell
this to my client.

Then have we consummated
our deal, mr. Becker?

I believe that we have.

Good.

To us then.

Pardon me.

Excuse me, I'm here
about cochran.

I think you should petition

To get his guilty
plea set aside.

Cochran?

Yeah, he ripped
off my car radio,

You let him cup out to
a misdemeanor theft?

And what, you think he
deserves the gas chamber?

I think he should
have been dismissed.

There was no probable
cause to search

The trunk of the car.

What are you, some
kind of lawyer?

Yeah, I used to be a pd.

Four years.

Oh, and you think I screwed up?

No, look, I know
it's a tough job.

I mean, they throw
you in with piranhas

When you're still real green,

But this is pretty obviously
in the arrest report.

When did you get
to see it anyway?

Yesterday the da
showed it to me.

Yesterday?

You mean you wait until
I'm totally sandbagged

And then you tell me.

I think I got my
priorities screwed up.

I mean, some stupid car
radio meant more to me

Than your client's
fourth amendment rights.

It was only after being
up all night that I realized

That if his rights get
trampled on, who knows,

Maybe yours and mine are next.

Anyway, I did some
research for you

On getting the police aside.

I think if you can do that
and get the case dismissed...

That will make us both
feel a whole lot better.

Thanks.

Hey!

Hey.

My car.

Someone stole my car, man.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Yes, your honor.

In the case of o'brien
versus lehigh tobacco,

We the jury find in
favor of the plaintiff.

In the matter of damages,

We order the defendant to pay

The plaintiff the sum of $1,000.

And how long do you anticipate
that appeal process taking?

However long it takes.

Mr. Kuzak, how do you
interpret the verdict?

Maybe later.

A moment of your time.

Excuse us.

All right.

I have a proposal to make.

I'm listening.

We both know how
harmful it is for your client

For this precedent
to remain on the books.

I have every confidence

We will prevail on
appeal, counselor.

On the federal preemption
issue alone, you're dead.

In this circuit
maybe, maybe not,

But I'm sure your client
will prefer a sure thing.

In consideration of
mr. O'brien's ill health,

We are prepared not
to contest your appeal

Or to pursue our own.

In consideration of?

$250,000 Payable immediately.

No public disclosure
of the terms.

I'm afraid not, mr. Kuzak.

As a matter of policy we
never settle these cases.

And believe me, we
don't lose them either.

If your client thinks he got

Put through the
wringer this time,

I assure you that
was just a rinse.

The heavy duty
cycle is coming up.

I don't take kindly to threats.

Then consider this a
statement of fact instead.

My client is prepared
to litigate this case

Into the 21st century

And beyond if
that's what it takes.

Between you and me,
mr. Kuzak, I don't believe it will.

How dare you use that
condescending male

Manipulating tone with
me, you arrogant chauvinist!

Go k*ll yourself,
you freaking...

I just can't stand the
thought that we could be them

And there could be
another couple like us

Out here listening.

Well, you can't really
hear what they are saying.

What, are you deaf?

It doesn't mean the
whole world is frigid!

Roosevelt doesn't
think I'm frigid!

Why don't you scream
it a little louder, you...

You know, if you're
going to yell,

Hey, this is the place to do it.

Mr. Markowitz and miss
kelsey, I'm dr. Robert ingram,

And I'm afraid this is not
an ideal time to see you.

Ideal? How about lousy?

Jan, stop this right now.

Stick it, you a**l
retentive sociopath.

Do you know the only reason

I married him to begin with was

Because my mother
hated his lousy guts.

Jan, I'm going to lose
my temper in a moment.

Oh, I quake with terror!

That's it!

We can't see you.

I'm getting a divorce!

I wish you two the best of luck.

Sorry.

Hey, arnie.

I brought you some
arginine supplements.

We're going to build
up these pecs sh*t.

Would you come into
my office for a minute?

Sure.

Listen, there was a
problem with your check.

Oh, that.

Look, I'm sorry if
the bank screwed up.

Well, it bounced again
when we tried to redeposit.

Look, don't worry.

Your confidence has inspired me.

You know, at this point
I wouldn't consider

Anything less
than three million.

Funny you should mention that.

I had a meeting with your wife.

She fired her attorney.

So you got her on the ropes.

Actually she made a
settlement offer i...

I think it's one
worth considering.

Well, it better be
at least two million.

Good god, how much is that?

Half a million, cash.

Where do I sign?

Mickey, hi.

I heard you won.

Yeah, some win.

Jury came back with a
lousy $1,000 in damages.

Tobacco company
has all the money

And time in the world.

My clients don't
have the stomach

To fight to the appeal.

Come on, get up.

I'll buy you some dinner.

Grace, I really think I
ought to be alone tonight.

What am I supposed to do,

Disappear until you
decide I can come back?

I really don't feel
very social tonight.

And I'm not your date.

Mickey, I know how
much this meant to you,

But under the circumstances
did you really expect to win?

What do you say we put a hold
on the postmortem, all right?

You're looking for
a fight, aren't you?

No, I'm looking for sympathy,

And if you can't
give me that then

Why don't you just
leave me alone?

Why are you putting
all of this on me?

You tilt at windmills
and then you b*at us

Both up because you lose.

Thank you for pointing
out what a jerk I have been.

I really appreciate
the insight, grace.

You're welcome.

We should have
kept the appointment

And offered to reverse roles,

Maybe we could have helped them.

Typically this one guy

"I'm sorry, mr. Markowitz,

I'm going away on vacation
to hawaii next week."

I said, "hey, no problem,

We could use a couple of
weeks in the sun ourselves.

We'll join you."

He didn't get it.

I had it down to
a little set piece.

He's controlling
and manipulative.

I'm distant and withholding.

Or was it vice versa?

I think I've actually figured

What this is all about for me.

It's pretty basic stuff.

I was terrified
to lose you, ann.

I just...

I never quite believed
that you chose me

So I'm always half
expecting you to leave.

The harder you try to hold on,

The more I look for
excuses to pull away.

It's a perfect neurotic match...

Me too.

You know what, markowitz?

Maybe the lesson is

We just have to
paddle our own canoe.

Yeah, well.

If we are going to do
that I think we should

Paddle it right
on up to room 604.

I have very fond
members of room 604.

Well. I'm really glad to hear
that because I reserved it.

You know, just on the off chance

That this conversation
might take this little turn.

Controlling.

Manipulative.

I'm not sorry for that

When I'm not prepared.
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