All right, give me the
ball, and everybody line up
over here.
That's my place.
It is not.
Hey, hold it.
Hey, you get back
to the end of the line.
That's enough of that stuff.
But that was my
place. I was just...
Never mind. I said get back.
Go on.
Oh, boy, Bub.
Man, did I ever eat.
Am I stuffed.
Well, you don't have to
make an announcement.
Do I offend you?
Oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink.
Now, that's enough.
Come on, come on.
You know, I would like to feel
that while I'm away
for the next two weeks
that there will be a minimum
of conflict around here.
That'll be the day.
Don't worry, Dad,
we'll make out all right.
You bet we will, and
I'm giving the orders.
Yeah, just so long as everyone
around here understands that.
And how about you, Chip?
You going to get along
okay while I'm gone?
Sure.
You haven't eaten much.
Aren't you hungry?
He hasn't eaten anything,
and that means no dessert.
We got hot apple
pie and ice cream.
I didn't want any anyhow.
Is, uh, something
bothering you, Chip?
Uh-uh. Yes, there is.
Why don't you admit it, Chip?
Shut up, Robbie.
What's the trouble?
I just don't feel
well, that's all.
I think I'm coming
down with something.
Why don't you just tell
Dad what happened?
Maybe I'd better stay
home from school tomorrow.
Let me feel you.
There's nothing
the matter with him.
That's all you know, stoop.
Do you ache anyplace,
the neck, should...?
What's the matter?
That's where he got clobbered.
Cut it out.
A kid at school's been
picking on him, Dad.
Oh, yeah? Who?
Ralphie Cole.
You know, BJ's kid brother?
Yeah, I guess so.
What did he do to you?
It's okay, Chip, you
don't have to be ashamed.
He's bigger than you are.
I'm not ashamed, you
dirty squealer, Robbie.
Girls squeal.
All right, simmer down, Chip.
I, uh, guess you don't
want your dinner, do you?
I got a stomachache.
I'll tell you, why don't you
go up and get into bed,
and I'll come up and
take your temperature
in a little while, hmm?
All I did was try
to help him out.
Where'd you hear
about this, Robbie?
From BJ.
His father doesn't know what
they're going to do with Ralph.
He's really turned
into a troublemaker.
Oh?
What's all that got
to do with Chip?
I don't know, except Ralph
beats him up all the time.
Well, why doesn't
he b*at him up back?
Well, 'cause Ralph's bigger.
Would you excuse me?
Aren't you going to
eat a piece of my pie?
No, I think I'll
skip it tonight, Bub.
I'll go up and check on Chip.
What am I doing
all this cooking for?
It's okay, Bub, you
don't have to worry.
I'll have seconds.
Well, by golly, that's right.
I'm cooking for you.
I keep forgetting.
Well, Chip, I don't
imagine Ralph was, uh,
b*ating up on you
just for the fun of it.
Now, uh, why do you
think he's picking on you?
'Cause he's a big bully.
Yeah, but why you?
I don't know.
I think he's just
got in the habit of it.
Oh.
Well, suppose you went
up to Ralph and said, uh,
"Ralph, why do you
always pick on me?"
What's wrong with that?
He'll think I'm a big sissy.
Yeah, I suppose he would.
Here, open your mouth.
Hey, Dad. Get out
of here, Robbie.
It's my room, too, you know.
Well, then, help pick up
some of this stuff, will you?
Uh, Mike and I and Bub
have had a conference,
and I've been picked
to teach Ralph a lesson.
Now, I'm gonna go
to school with Chip,
and then I'm gonna duck
out of sight. Mm-hmm.
And then when Ralph shows
up, I'm gonna step out and say,
"Ralph, that's the last time,"
and next time I catch him at it,
I'll clobber him one.
Hey, that's great.
Well, isn't, uh,
Ralph a little young
for you to clobber?
Well, he's a bully.
Well, just because
Ralph is bullying Chip
is no reason for you
to bully Ralph, is it?
Hey, Robbie, you could hold
him and I could clobber him.
You put that back in your mouth.
You're getting your
temperature taken.
No, Rob, I think this is, uh,
I think this, this is Chip's...
Now, Chip, if you're so
anxious to clobber Ralph,
why don't you fight back?
He's bigger.
Well, did you ever
hear of a bully that, uh,
picks on somebody his own size?
Well, Ralph's older, Dad.
Hmm. Yeah, and
he comes up to here.
I thought you didn't
believe in fighting, Dad.
Well, I don't,
and I certainly don't
believe in starting a fight,
but, uh, well,
there are times when a man
just has to defend himself.
It's a, it's a matter of pride.
Everybody has the
right to protect himself.
But I like Robbie's idea better.
What are you afraid of, Chip?
Well, Ralph hurts.
Well, he's hurting you anyway.
What have you got to lose?
Physical v*olence
is a pretty dumb way
to get people to notice you,
but that's the way
some characters do.
Like this Ralphie.
He thinks if, uh,
if he can hurt you,
he's better than you
are or something.
So he starts throwing
some punches,
and if you don't get
out of the way of them,
you get hit and it hurts,
but it's going to hurt
whether you fight back or not,
so you might as well grit
your teeth and wade in there
and throw a few
punches yourself.
Don't you think?
I couldn't hurt Ralph.
Oh, I, uh, I think you could.
Chip, uh, hit me.
Come on.
No, really, really,
all your might.
Really let her go.
Not on the chin.
Right here.
Well, that, that hurt.
Now, you see, I'm,
I'm bigger than Ralph.
So if you can hurt me,
you ought to be
able to hurt him, huh?
You don't have to
win the fight, Chip.
It just... all you have
to do is hurt him.
Now, I know that
sounds kind of dumb,
but maybe that's
the kind of a thing
a dumb guy like Ralph
would understand.
So, you, uh...
Maybe next time he
starts picking on you,
he'll think twice.
Hmm?
Phone... it's for me.
Did I really hurt you?
Sure, you did.
Well, you don't have
a fever, Chip, so, uh,
if you decide you feel well
enough to go to school tomorrow,
it'll be all right.
Hey, Dad, it's for you.
Okay.
There, you put on
your pajamas, and...
I'll bet you're a little hungry,
so I'll bring up
a glass of milk.
How about some roast beef?
Oh, sure, sure.
Uh, maybe a roast beef sandwich
with a big baked
potato and gravy on it?
Yeah, can I have
some dessert, too?
Uh, big piece of
Bub's apple pie?
Sure, with ice cream?
Oh, with ice cream.
I think you're very wise,
eating lightly like this, Chip, but,
you know, if you're
not feeling too well...
It's the airline
about confirming
your reservation, Dad.
Thanks, Rob.
Hey, Robbie.
Hey!
Boy, you sure got
better in a hurry.
All right, you guys,
let's get going.
I got to get my
books. Do you mind?
As a matter of fact, I do.
Chip, get in here,
we got to get going!
Could you hold it
down just a minute?
I'm calling for the time.
All right, Rocky.
Will you get upstairs?
Hey, Dad, look.
Chip, hold it
down just a little.
Go on!
Look, I've heard the
recording five times
and still don't know
what time it is. Hey!
Now, will you hol...?
Now what are you doing?
I got to get my lunch.
I got to eat, don't I?
You want to get to school?
Here's your jacket, put that on.
What do you think I am...
An octopus with five
feet or something?
Would you fellas
be quiet just...
Chip, come on!
Would you listen to me
just a minute, please, Rob?
Now, look, I'm depending
on you two fellas
to keep an eye out
for Chip while I'm away.
Help him out if you have to,
but remember this thing
with Ralph is his problem,
and he ought to work
it out himself if he can...
just for his sense of pride.
Hey, Robbie, remember that time
that big kid Stanley
was b*ating up on you?
Stanley who?
Okay, tiger, let's go.
Here's your jacket.
That big kid. Here.
Grab your lunch.
That big tall kid Stanley.
Come on, come on...
Last year. Come on,
come on, come on.
Hey, isn't anybody going
to say "Good-bye"
or "Have a nice trip"
or "I'll miss you" or something?
Oh, yeah, good-bye, Dad.
Have a nice trip, Dad.
Yeah, we'll miss you.
Good-bye, thanks, I
will, and I'll miss you, too.
Good afternoon.
I said I don't want
to talk about it,
and I don't want
to talk about it!
I guess he doesn't
want to talk about it.
He goes and gets
himself b*at up every day.
It's a m*ssacre.
Will you let me just go and
clobber that Ralph, just once?
No, no, no, no, no.
Chip's got to work
this out for himself.
Dad says it's, it's
important to his pride.
Pride.
Feel any better?
Well, what happened today?
Where is he?
I don't know. I
think he's upstairs.
Where's all this meat gone?
Did somebody open a
hamburger stand around here?
Here's a note from Mrs.
Wisbee, the principal.
Wow.
What did you do?
Run into a door?
She says she wants to
see you about my score.
She says I'm getting bad marks.
Why does she have to talk to me?
Because Dad won't
be back till next week,
so she wants to see you.
Wait till Dad gets a
load of that black eye.
I don't know.
Pride or no pride,
somebody ought to pound
that Ralph right into the cement.
Why do I have to
see the principal?
I'm an old man.
I don't want to
see the principal.
I spent half my life right
in there on that carpet.
I see.
Yes, that certainly does
explain a great deal.
Now, why didn't you tell me that
in the first place, Mr. O'Casey?
Well, I never meant to, uh...
I mean, you tricked me into it.
Well, I knew there must
be some other explanation.
It's not like that boy of yours
to do bad work.
Won't you sit down?
No, no, thank you, I, uh,
I can't stay that
long... I long to stay
but not that long, if
you know what I mean.
Well, I'm not too surprised
to hear about Ralph.
We've had our troubles
with him this year.
Actually, he's not
a bad boy at all.
There's been a problem at home,
and it's been difficult for him.
I do have to admit I'm
a little disappointed.
The problem seemed
to be working itself out,
and Ralph was doing better.
But I'm sure we
can take care of it.
Well, uh, I suppose
that I should have kept
my big mouth out of it.
Why, I wouldn't have ratted
on a kid, you know,
I mean, uh, snitched.
Why, I'm not the kind of a guy
that goes around
telling tales out of school.
I mean, in school.
Now, don't you give
that another thought.
You did the right thing.
But I-I just don't
feel right about it,
and you got to promise
me you won't let on
that I told you about it.
On account of Chip's pride.
I promise you, he'll never know.
You trust me to
take care of him.
I'm very grateful to
you for coming over,
Mr. O'Casey.
Thank you, Mrs. Wisbee,
and I hope things
turn out all right.
I'll try to do better
in the future.
I mean, Chip will
try to do better.
I'll talk to him about it.
Good-bye.
Good-bye, Mrs. Wisbee.
I've enjoyed my visit with you.
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Nicer than I thought she'd be.
And the next thing I knew,
I was standing there
like a little snitch.
Little Michael Francis,
snitching to the principal
just because you weren't
supposed to be back till Monday,
and then you blew in today.
Why didn't you drop me a card?
Might have laid the rap on you.
Well, the office sent for me
and I had to fly back for
that meeting this afternoon.
Yeah.
I'm glad they did.
I am, too.
That was certainly swell
advice you gave him
about fighting back.
There's one thing you
got to say for that kid.
He does what he's told.
I'm just surprised that
he's still on his feet.
Well, maybe I steered him wrong.
I'll say you did.
You know, if I hurry,
I can get over there
and pick him up when
he comes out of school.
I'd better do that.
Would you finish
unpacking for me?
Sure, I will.
Now, wait a minute,
don't you go letting on
that I snitched to
that Mrs. Wisbee.
Shame on you, Michael Francis.
Just because you're a
great, big snitch doesn't mean
everybody else is, you know.
I told you to leave me
alone, you little monster.
How many times do I
have to b*at you up?
Are you gonna leave me alone?
Are you? Are you?
I don't want to fight you
anymore, do you understand?
You already got me in
trouble with Mrs. Wisbee.
She put me on probation
for fighting with you.
I'm telling you
for the last time.
Leave me alone!
What's probation mean?
Probation? Why?
Mrs. Wisbee put Ralph
on probation for fighting.
She did? No kidding?
Did I hear you
talking about Ralph?
You know, it's a
funny thing, I had, uh,
kind of forgotten about you two.
How did that ever come out?
Did he, uh... did
you fight him back?
Uh-huh.
I'll bet he let you
alone then, huh?
Kind of.
Kind of? Are you kidding?
He picks on him every day.
He has?
Well...
Well, it's too bad, but
it kind of sounds to me
as though he should
have been put on probation.
A bully like that going
around starting fights,
picking on everybody.
It's the only way to handle him.
Well... I was fighting, too.
Oh, but that's different, Chip.
You didn't start the fight.
You were just defending
yourself, weren't you?
I don't feel well.
Again?
Think I'm coming
down with something.
Would you excuse us? Again.
I still think it would
have been better
if I would have just
clobbered him one.
Well, Chipper, I'm sorry
you're not feeling well again.
Uh, what do you think
it might be this time?
I don't know.
Well, you climb into bed,
and we'll take your temperature.
Don't forget to take your
slippers and socks off.
You feel pretty
cool, though, to me.
Here, take it anyway, huh?
We're giving this
old thermometer
a workout, aren't we?
Dad? Hmm?
What does it mean when
you're put on probation?
Well, Chip, uh, when you've
done something wrong,
they put you on probation.
That means they're, uh...
well, they're giving
you a warning.
They're giving you
one more chance.
If one of us guys
got put on probation,
would you be mad?
One of you fellas?
Say, for instance, Robbie.
Well, I certainly wouldn't
be happy about it.
We'd, uh... we'd have to
sit down and talk it over
and hope we could work it out.
Yeah.
Here, put that
under your tongue.
No, Chip, uh,
probation's, uh, no picnic.
It's pretty serious.
Like in Ralph's case.
If he gets caught
fighting once more,
he'll be kicked
right out of school.
You, uh, hold
that in your mouth,
and I'll come back
and check it in a minute.
Hey, watch out, look
where you're going.
What do you...
Ralph, come in here.
Yes, Chip?
I have to see you.
Come in.
I can wait if you want me to.
No, come in, Chip.
What's on your mind, Chip?
Well, it's all about
Ralph and me.
And fighting.
It's all my fault, Mrs. Wisbee,
'cause I picked
on Ralph every day
and made him fight,
and he didn't want
to fight me, but
I made him fight,
so I'm the one who
should be put on probation.
Well, my goodness, Chip,
you're all out of breath.
Is this true, Ralph?
I'm bigger than him, so
how could he pick on me?
But I did! Tell
the truth, Ralph!
Well, now, Chip, it's very
nice of you to come in here
of your own free will
and try to help Ralph,
but I'm afraid I can't
quite believe your story.
You're hardly the kind
of boy to be a bully.
But I am... I
admire your loyalty,
and I'm sure Ralph does, too.
But I am a bully.
I picked on him every
day and made him fight,
and he didn't want
to fight me anymore,
and I just got sore
'cause I was losing,
and I wanted to win.
And I couldn't even start to.
Well, I tell you...
I'm terribly busy today.
Why don't we just postpone this
for a little while?
Looks to me as though
Chip doesn't hold
any grudge against you, Ralph,
and, Chip, since
you seem to feel
you share a part
of the blame, uh,
why don't you boys talk it over
and come back and
see me again next week?
Maybe we won't have
to put anybody on probation.
Miss Milliken,
would you get, um,
that call for me, please?
Now, Chip, why don't
you go first this time?
And then Ralph...
you go first this time.
There you are.
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Thanks.
Good-bye, boys.
Oh, dear.
Yes?
Oh, thank you.
Hello... Mr. Douglas?
Mrs. Wisbee.
He did, huh?
A full confession?
Well, I'm very proud of him,
and I'm... I'm sure it
was a difficult
thing for him to do.
Yes, it wasn't easy,
but Chip is used to
things not being too easy,
and knowing Robbie and Mike,
I can't believe he could have
behaved in any other way.
Well, you... you always hope
your children will do the
right thing, Mrs. Wisbee,
but, uh, well, when they do,
it's very rewarding, isn't it?
Yes.
Yes, that's right.
Well, maybe we can, uh...
maybe we can help in some way.
Uh, maybe Ralph could
come over here for a weekend.
At this point, I think maybe
we'd better stay out of it
and leave things up to
Chip and Ralph for a while.
At least they walked
out of the office together.
Let's see it.
What for?
I got a rock collection.
That's no good.
I like it.
♪ ♪