06x16 - Screenwriter's Blues

Episode transcripts for the TV show "One Tree Hill". Aired September 2003 - April 2012.*

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This series follows the eventful lives of some high-school kids in Tree Hill, a small but not too quiet town in North Carolina, where the greatest source of pride is the high school basketball team, the Ravens.
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06x16 - Screenwriter's Blues

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on One Tree Hill...

Devon : Ain't nobody gonna give no roster spot to no fool with no green elf shoes on.

Dan : What are the chances of another heart becoming available?

Doctor : This time when it goes off, call us.

Devon : I'm taking that last sh*t, or I'm taking a seat.

Bobby : Take a seat.

Jack : Child services keeps showing up, looking for me. I probably won't see you for a while.

Julian : I never had a letterman jacket.

Brooke : Now you do

Julian : I want you to have this. It means we're going steady.

Lucas : I want a director who can make the little things the big things. And you are just not the guy to do that.

Paul : Pick one ... if you don't, I'm gonna choose your director for you.

Adam Reese : Appreciate you meeting me. What do you want, Reese? I'm directing the movie. It's done!

One Tree Hill - Season 6 Episode16

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Girl #1 : You can work your whole "I'm Nathan Scott, Mr. Big sh*t, scoring my touchdowns" on somebody else, because ...

Man #1 : I don't even play football.

Girl #1 : Whatever ... the point is, at the end of the day, all your bluster and B.S. Don't mean anything to math, because math don't care, and neither do I.

Man : Well, does English care? 'cause I pretty much suck at that, too.

Adam Reese : Thank you. Thank you for that.

Haley : I like her poncho.

Nathan : Why am I shirtless?

Adam Reese : Yeah, let's do one where he wears a poncho and she's shirtless.

Lucas : He was kidding. He was kidding. You guys were great. Thank you. So, what'd you guys think?

Reese : Really? Didn't realize Julian had given creative control to all four of us.

Adam Reese : They're the real people. Don't you think their opinions may be valuable?

Haley : They seemed fine.

Nathan : Yeah.

Adam Reese : I stand corrected. Let's get the studio on the phone right now. Tell them we found two actors who seem fine.

Nathan : Why don't you tell them their director's a jackass while you're at it?

Haley : Okay, we should go, and I will stop by later to see how you're doing.

Adam Reese : You know, even when he talks back to me, I still find him likable. All right, lose the shirt, buddy.

Girl #2 : Always and forever.

Nathan : It sucks I can't stick around for this.

Haley : It sucks even more you're gonna be gone for two weeks. At least I'll have all these shirtless Nathan to keep me company.

Nathan : Oh, I don't think so.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Peyton : Thanks. A crib. Thank you, Karen and Andy ... Thank you, Karen and Andy!

ON THE STREET

Jamie : Were you allowed to date in prison?

Dan : Some people did. I opted not to. Why?

Jamie : Well, there's a girl at school

Dan : Oh, you like her?

Jamie : No.

Dan : Yes, you do.

Jamie : No.

Dan : You like her a lot.

Jamie : No, no. No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could invite her over to your beach house someday.

Dan : Sure. Why not today? I'll clear it with your mom.

Jamie : Well, I never asked a girl over to play before. What do I say?

Dan : Well, lucky for you, women have never been able to turn a Scott man down. So you just flash your million-dollar smile, say a few nice words, and pfft ... it's like putty in your hands.

Dan : Yeah, that's the one.

Jamie : Just smile and say something nice? That really works?

Dan : Every time.

AT BROOKE'S HOUSE

Brooke : What are you smiling about?

Julian : I can't help it. That was amazing. No wonder you were so popular in high school.

Brooke : Excuse me? Sex did not make me popular. I made it popular.

Julian : Ohh. Well, either way, I'm just happy to be a part of that crowd for a change.

Brooke : Please. With this face, you were probably Mr. Popular.

Julian : You might be surprised. Anyway, I wish I could stay, but I'm already late for casting.

Brooke : For which character?! Don't ... oh!

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Woman : Peyton Sawyer?

Peyton : Yeah.

Woman : Go have a seat with the other Peytons, and we'll call you when it's your turn.

Peyton : Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. You don't understand. I ... I am Peyton Sawyer.

Woman : I really appreciate your confidence, but you still have to wait your turn. What's your name?

Peyton : Is Peyton Sawyer.

Woman : Actresses.

Girl #3 : Why do people always leave?

Peyton : Hi. I'm here to read for the part of Peyton Sawyer. First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't know me. God, why are guys such jerks?

Adam: Too old, but she would make a great Deb.

Lucas : Um, she's the real Peyton. Did you come to watch?

Peyton : No. The baby-proofer's coming to the house, and I've got to go register for our wedding and baby gifts, and your mother sent us a crib, but the instructions are all in Italian.

Adam: You're stewed, butt wad. "Weird science."

Lucas : I really wish I could help, but I'm kind of slammed.

Peyton : No, it's okay. I just came by to wish you good luck and to bring you lunch.

Lucas : Why are you so good to me?

Peyton : I don't know. Maybe because I am a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch.

Adam: What woman isn't?

Peyton : Bye.

AT TREE HILL SCHOOL

Sam : You wanted to see me?

Haley : Yes. Take a seat, please. Do you know why I called you here?

Sam : No. I guess I'm in trouble, but I don't know what for. And I'm sure as hell not gonna start admitting stuff.

Haley : I think you know exactly what you did. You won the essay contest, and, as promised, you're gonna be published in the school paper tomorrow.

Sam : You suck.

Haley : Congratulations, Samantha. Oh, you're gonna be a published writer! That is, if that's okay with you.

Sam : Hell, yes.

Jamie : She said yes!

Dan : That's great. What time's she coming over?

Jamie : I don't know.

Dan : What kind of food does she like?

Jamie : I don't know.

Dan : What do you know?

Jamie : She said yes!

Dan : Well, that is the most important thing.

Jamie : Now, how do I get her to like me?

Dan : Well, if she's coming over, she probably already does like you. Now all you have to do is make sure you're dressed nice and tell her how good she looks.

Jamie : Is that how you got nanny Deb?

Dan : That and gin.

Jamie : Got any gin?

Dan : Don't worry. I'll be there the whole time if you need me.

Jamie : Is that your heart again?

Dan : Yeah. I'll be fine.

Jamie : I wish that beeper would beep already.

Dan : Me too, buddy.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Peyton : Hey. Lucas is casting his movie in here today, so the studio's off-limits.

Mia : Ohh. Sweet. Snow day. Later, teach.

Peyton : Oh, no, no. Not so fast. We still have work to do.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Mia : You're kidding, right?

Peyton : You're Italian, right?

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Brooke : Easy, girl.

Julian : I saw that.

Brooke : What? Did you greet all the other Brookes that way?

Julian : No, ma'am. That I saved just for you.

Brooke : Oh.

Julian : And the guy playing whitey, who is just so cute.

Brooke : No

Julian : So, do you want to meet Brooke Davis?

Brooke : Shut up. She's here?

Julian : Yeah.

Brooke : I just got butterflies a little bit. Now I know how people must feel when they're meeting me for the first time.

Julian : Missy, this is ...

Missy : Brooke Davis!

Julian : Yep. Brooke, this is ...

Brooke : Missy me! Hi! Oh!

Julian : I guess we made the right choice.

Missy : Oh, Hi! Oh!

Brooke : Okay, I want my part in the movie to be the best. So anything that you need, you just ask.

Missy : Okay, great, because I'm a method actor, so I'm gonna need to know your likes, dislikes, mannerisms ... basically be glued to you until the movie starts. What do you think?

Brooke : Sounds ... great.

Missy : Aah!

Brooke : Ooh! Hi.

AT BOBBY'S OFFICE

Nathan : You wanted to see me, coach?

Bobby : I did. I want to ask you something in confidence. What do you think of Devon?

Nathan : In confidence ... I think he puts up big numbers, but he won't win you any games. He doesn't care about the team. He only cares about getting himself to the NBA.

Bobby : And you don't want to get to the NBA?

Nathan : No, I do. But you're the only reason I have a sh*t at it, so I owe you, and I'm gonna play my heart out. Look ... if you started me, you'd be replacing your star player with a player that gives you wins instead of headaches.

Bobby : You sound like a salesman, Nate.

Nathan : I believe in what I'm selling.

Bobby : So do I. You're starting next game. Be ready.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Girl #4 : I want to draw something that means something to someone.

Girl #5 : You're always saving me, Lucas.

Girl #6 : I love you, Luke. But I've chosen darkness.

Lucas : That was great. Thank you.

Girl #6 : Thanks. I loved "Trouser hound," by the way.

Adam Reese : He loves you, too.

Girl #6 : Thanks.

Adam Reese : There's something about that one.

Lucas : She wants to sleep with you?

Adam: There it is. So, we done?

Lucas : I liked the first girl. I'm just not sure.

Adam Reese : Two things ... number one, big wedding ring. Number two, even bigger nose. She can lose the ring, but the nose is gonna need its own trailer.

Lucas : Okay, there's nothing wrong with her nose. Besides, I'm not casting this movie based on who I want to sleep with.

Adam Reese : He has no idea what he's doing.

Lucas : It's called having integrity.

Adam Reese : It's called being naive. Look, you have a decision to make, okay? Audiences like boobs. I didn't make that up. It's just ... it's the way it is. Sex sells. So I say go with the girl with the nice rack. Now, if you want to disagree with me, fine, go ahead. But just make a damn decision, man.

Julian : Adam, maybe you should take a break.

Adam Reese : You're right. This place is dead anyway.

Julian : "Swingers."

Lucas : Julian, I didn't get to choose a director I like. I'm not making the same mistake with Peyton.

Julian : Okay, that's fine. But Reese is right. You need to come to a decision you can both live with, okay? Like it or not, we have a deadline, and you have a job to do.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Mia : This job sucks.

Peyton : I don't think this is right.

Mia : It looks fine to me. Done and done.

Peyton : Okay, well, then, what is that for?

Mia : I don't know ... to keep the baby from moving? Why don't you just have Lucas do it?

Peyton : Because he's busy, and we are two strong, capable women. We can do this. Hey, what's chase doing?

Mia : Uh, no. He's busy...with me. So, I'll see ya. I mean, arrivederci.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Brooke : I got it when I was 12, but I don't know why you need to know.

Missy : How many cigarettes do you smoke a day to get your voice to sound like this?

Brooke : I don't smoke, and my voice doesn't sound like that.

Missy : How many guys did you sleep with in high school?

Brooke : Gee, I don't know. I was never very good at math.

Missy : Dumb at math. Got it.

Brooke/Missy : What do you think of this outfit?

Missy : I don't think that Brooke would wear something like this.

Brooke : I am Brooke, and I did wear something like that.

Missy : But don't you think it should be a little more revealing or easy to strip off at least ... you know, Brookish?

Brooke : I don't strip things off. The outfit is fine. Julian, what do you think?

Julian : Um, it could be a little sexier.

Brooke : Should I just go ahead and put her in pasties?

Julian : Come on, Brooke. Did you really wear that in high school?

Brooke : Yes, I did.

Missy : Maybe during your "clean teen" days.

Julian : Just make it a little sexier, you know? Brookish.

Missy : Oh, you totally have a type. He looks a lot like Lucas.

Brooke : That's another thing you should know about me for the movie. I lash out sometimes. Sorry.

AT TREE HILL SCHOOL

Sam : Part of me is glad that jack's gone. Gone is a place I dreamed of when I was hiding in a closet from whatever drunk parent I had that month. But ...

Haley : Whose phone is that?

Sam : Yours.

Haley : Hi. Is everything okay?

Nathan : Hey. I just wanted you to be the first to know. I'm starting next game. I couldn't have done this

without you, hales. I love you. Tell Jamie I'll call him later, okay?

Haley : I love you, too. He's ... he's starting! Sorry, Sam.

Sam : But I got lucky.

AT DAN'S HOUSE

Dan : You must be Lauren's mom.

Lauren : You must not talk to many women. I'm Lauren, Jamie's teacher. He invited me to his grandpa's house after school, and I just couldn't turn down an afternoon with a cute boy and a little old man. You're not a little old man.

Dan : No.

Jamie : Grandpa Dan, aren't you gonna invite her in? You look very nice, Miss Lauren.

Lauren : Thank you. It's what i was wearing at school earlier.

Jamie : Well, it's very becoming. Shall we?

Lauren : Thank you.

AT TREE HILL SCHOOL

Boy : So, what did you do?

Haley : Nothing. The principal just wanted to meet with me.

Boy : You're probably in trouble. With the new principal, everyone's in trouble.

Principal Rimkus : Mrs. Scott, could you come in, please?

Haley : Am I in trouble, principal Rimkus?

Principal Rimkus : Do you know why i wanted to see you?

Haley : No. And I'm not gonna start admitting stuff.

Principal Rimkus : I have a problem with the essay you selected for the school paper.

Haley : Oh, Sam's essay? What's wrong with it?

Principal Rimkus : What, you mean besides all the references to sex and dr*gs?

Haley : She's witnessed some really horrible things growing up. I think that's what makes the essay so important.

Principal Rimkus : Well, that may be. But i have the students and their parents to worry about.

Haley : I understand, but with all due respect, I thought i was in charge of the school paper and had final say on what went in it.

Principal Rimkus : You do. And I have final say on whether or not you work here. Pick another essay.

AT DAN'S HOUSE

Jamie : So, when you stop to think about it, where does the sidewalk end?

Lauren : You know, I never really thought about it.

Dan : Jamie's always been advanced for his age. Right now he's reading the "Time traveler's wife."

Lauren : Oh, that's one of my favorite books.

Dan : Mine too.

Jamie : That's great. How about I refill your kool-aid?

Lauren : Well, thank you, Jamie. That is very gentlemanly of you.

Dan : We have wine, if you prefer.

Jamie : Kool-aid will be fine. Back off.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Peyton : Hey, skills. You looking for Luke?

Skills : No. I'm the baby-proofer.

Peyton : Why didn't I know that?

Skills : Who brags about being a baby-proofer?

Peyton : Oh, okay. I mean, I think our house is pretty safe.

Skills : I can spot at least 20 PBI already.

Peyton : Huh?

Skills : Possible baby injuries.

Peyton : Oh. Like what?

Skills : Well, for one, lamp cord strangles.

Peyton : Okay.

Skills : Outlets electrocute. And I'm guessing you probably don't have a lock on the toilet seat.

Peyton : Luke barely remembers to put it down.

Skills : Funny. But you know what's not so funny? When junk was a kid, he fell in a toilet ... almost drowned. He was dead for 40 seconds.

Peyton : I'm ... no, I'm sorry. You're right. That's totally not funny. Um, I have a lot of work to do, huh?

Skills : Yep. But you got Lucas to help you, right?

Peyton : No, I mean, he's over at Tric casting his movie. But I ha ... I have it. It's fine. That's not done, by the way.

Skills : I hope not. I can see at least 30 PBI already. If you need help putting that thing back together, give me a call. I'm also a handyman.

AT DIXIE'S RESTAURANT

Haley : Hey. Heard any word from jack yet?

Sam : Uh ... no. That's kind of why i hang here. I figure this is where he'll show when he decides to come back ... if he decides to.

Haley : I'm sure he will.

Sam : Yeah. I hope so. Could you really get fired for publishing my paper?

Haley : Where did you hear that?

Sam : I've already lost jack. I really don't want to lose you to some stupid paper.

Haley : You ... you're not gonna lose me. And your paper's anything but stupid, Sam.

Sam : Well, I better get going. Don't want Brooke to worry. Listen, Haley. I appreciate it. I do. But if I were you, I would just choose a different paper. It's not worth it.

AT THE GYMNASIUM

Nathan : Looks like 12's the new 23. What's up?

Devon : Like you don't know. Coach cut his best player to start his best friend.

Nathan : I didn't know he was cutting you. I thought ... I'm sorry.

Devon : Don't be. I'm going to the NBA anyway. Somehow ... daddy! Hey, boo. There's my team. Hey. Hi. Hey, daddy's gonna be okay. What you looking at, You're not the only one with a family.

AT THE WEDDING BOUTIQUE

Peyton : Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Baby.

Brooke : Is there a reason that we're registering for the wedding and the baby at the same time?

Well, they're happening at the same time, so why not register them together?

Brooke : Because I may have registered the baby for a boning Kn*fe.

Peyton : That's got to be a PBI, right?

Brooke : Miss Sawyer, I love you, but are you sure you would not rather be doing this with Lucas?

Peyton : No. He is busy. And there is no one I would rather do this with than my best friend and my maid of honor.

Brooke : Maid of honor? Really?!

Peyton : Well, it shouldn't be a surprise.

Brooke : But it's so nice to hear!

Peyton : Okay!

Brooke : Ohh.

Missy : Want to know what I think? I think that Nathan likes tutor girl, but tutor girl likes Lucas, and I know I like Lucas, and I don't know who the hell you like anymore. This is all turning into one big love rectangle plus one, whatever that is. Pretty good, right?

Brooke : Yeah. Awesome.

Peyton : Dude, she sounds like you.

Brooke : I was never that annoying.

Peyton : I know how you feel. I was in Tric earlier today, and there were 10 Peyton Sawyers bitching and moaning.

Brooke : Oh, so there were 11 of you bitching and moaning?

Peyton : I think I like that other one better.

AT DAN'S HOUSE

Dan : So, I'm driving Jamie home from school, and he suddenly yells at me to stop the car because Orval got out

of the bag.

Lauren : Oh, and who's Orval?

Dan : My question exactly. Orval is his pet rabbit's imaginary friend.

Lauren : Oh, that's so cute.

Dan : And he insists that Orval has gone into a chuck e. Cheese. So, since we're already there, why not grab some pizza?

Lauren : Oh, he's crafty.

Jamie : You're making fun of me?

Dan : No, I wasn't.

Jamie : You're trying to embarrass me so miss Lauren will like you better.

Dan : Jamie.

Jamie : He was in prison!

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Fergie : Hey, yo, man. I heard you was casting today. Hey, who's gonna play Fergie?

Lucas : Uh, man, uh... you know, when I turned the book into a movie, i had to omit some of the characters. Look, I'm really sorry, Fergie. I didn't ...

Fergie : Then who did Luke hang with on the river court?

Lucas : Mouth ... and skills.

Fergie : You gonna play me like that? That's cold, dawg.

Lucas : Look, Fergie ...

Man : Which do you like better?

Lucas : They look the same, man.

Man : We're gonna need you to sign off on a few locations before we can move on.

Lucas : Okay ...

Dan Actor : Hey, man, I am trying to wrap my head around this Dan character. I don't get why he's got all this hatred for Keith.

Julian : Reese wants to sign off on Peyton number three. Are you okay with that?

Lucas : No! I like the first one.

Adam Reese : Toucan Sam? Peyton's a love interest. Think about it with your other head.

Julian : I know you have a vision, Lucas, but maybe you need to trust Reese's experience on this one. Our table read is tomorrow, and we can't do it without a Peyton.

Lucas : I know, all right! I just need to think about it!

Julian : We don't have time for that.

Lucas : Well, make ... time!

Adam Reese : And ... scene.

AT THE WEDDING BOUTIQUE

Peyton : So, which ones do you think Lucas will like?

Brooke : Whichever ones you're naked in. Speaking of naked... I slept with Julian.

Peyton : Come again?

Brooke : That's what she said. She being me ... it's a joke.

Peyton : I know. I get it. Um, god, why am I just finding out about this now?

Brooke : 'cause I've been really scared to tell you. I know that you said it's fine, but I kind of still feel like it violates girl code somehow, and I know you're happy and engaged and pregnant, and ... and he's charming.

Peyton : Brooke, hey, really ... it's fine. We talked about this, all right? Girl code was shattered years ago.

Brooke : You promise? You're not gonna revoke my maid-of-honor card?

Peyton : God. Of course I promise. Come here. I mean, you know that's like three guys we've shared, right?

Brooke : Lucas, Julian.

Peyton : Um, sex tape?

Brooke : Ew. Sex tape. I forgot about that, and I kind of wish that you had, too.

Peyton : Oh, no, no, no. Um, so just how did it go from being a non-date to sex? It was the grin, right?

Brooke : That didn't hurt. And then he threw in a touch of sweet and so much sincerity. And then he threw in the letterman jacket I made him.

Peyton : Oh, well, letterman jacket. That's a good touch. High-school Brooke did letter in sex.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Haley : Hey, how's the movie biz?

Lucas : Well, I had my first diva moment ... threw a temper tantrum.

Haley : No way. Damn. Wish I'd have been here to see it.

Lucas : Uh, stick around. I'm sure I'll have another.

Haley : Is it really that bad?

Lucas : I can't even pick a basketball much less a Peyton without feeling like i'm making the wrong decision. My gut says one thing, and everybody else says something else.

Haley : Who cares what everybody else says? Go with your gut.

Lucas : Just like that, huh?

Haley : Lucas, this was your book, and now it's your movie. You know the characters, and you know tree hill better than anybody. You should have some faith in yourself, for crying out loud.

Lucas : I love you. I love you. You know that?

Haley : I know.

Lucas : You know, they should name an antidepressant after you.

Haley : Yeah. Great with everybody else's problems. It's my own I'm a basket case with. Hmm.

Lucas : All right, well ... psychotherapist Luke. Can I help you with anything?

Haley : Sam wrote this paper for my class. It was gritty and harsh and honest and really beautiful, and I want to publish it in the school paper. And principal Rimkus won't let me.

Lucas : Well, what else can you do?

Haley : I could publish it anyway. Kids like Sam, they ... sometimes all they have is a voice, and if you take that away from them, especially after everything that she's been through, then what's the point of me even calling myself a teacher anymore?

Lucas : Well, it sounds to me like you've already made your decision.

Haley : I'm just not sure it's the right one.

Lucas : Man, you got to have some faith in yourself sometimes. No, go with your gut. Come on. What's the worst that can happen?

Haley : I could get fired, or at least suspended.

Lucas : I've been suspended ... not that bad.

Haley : You're pretty good at cheering me up, too.

Haley/Lucas : Yes!

AT DAN'S HOUSE

Jamie : Go away! You're mean! That's why daddy and uncle Lucas don't like you.

Dan : That's true. I was mean. And they have every reason not to like me. But ever since I got sick, I've tried real hard to be a better person.

Jamie : Then why were you making fun of me?

Dan : I would never make fun of you. You're my best friend. Don't you know that? Actually, you're my only friend. I don't even have an imaginary one.

Jamie : Miss Lauren doesn't think I'm a joke?

Dan : Of course not. You're her favorite student. She told me this is one of the best dates she's ever been on.

Jamie : She said that?

Dan : She sure did. You should go back in there and finish the date. And if I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry. I would never do anything to hurt my best friend.

Jamie : I forgive you. Well, aren't you coming?

Dan : You'll be fine without me.

IN BROOKE'S CAR

Brooke : Oh !

Missy : I just wanted to make sure I got your signature move right.

Brooke : What is with you idiots? This is not my signature move. And for info, I did a lot more in high school than just have sex, okay? I was student-body president. I was the captain of the cheerleading squad. I started a clothing line. It is amazing that I even had time for sex!

Missy : Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I was just following the breakdown.

Brooke : "Brooke Davis ... gorgeous brunette with an amazing energy and smile. Her three favorite things ... sex, sex, and sex.

AT BOBBY'S OFFICE

Nathan : Coach ... I wanted to talk to you about Devon. I didn't mean for you to cut him.

Bobby : Well, good, because it wasn't your call. I cut Devon because he wouldn't play for me. And that crap he pulled the other night ... that's the last straw.

Nathan : Okay, well, maybe you could talk to him about it or something. Coach, the guy has a family.

Bobby : So do you, Nathan. So do I. Look, this is a business. You two aren't the only ones whose end game is the NBA. I'm certainly not gonna get there coaching a losing team.

Nathan : I understand. Okay, maybe Devon and I can work together.

Bobby : It's done, Nathan. You're my starter now. I need for you to focus on that. Who's more important here ... you or Devon?

Nathan : My family is more important.

Bobby : All right, then. We're done here. I'll see you in practice tomorrow.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Lucas : Stop it!

Brooke : He already cast me. Hey! Excuse me. It's like "The twilight zone" in here! You! How could you write such horrible things about me? You, who called me your pretty girl and said that I was gonna change the world someday?! Huh?!

Lucas : What are you talking about?

Brooke : Tell me that you didn't write that!

Lucas : I didn't write this.

Brooke : Then who did?

Adam Reese : I'll take the third Haley's legs, the first Brooke's fun bags, and the last Peyton's ass.

Julian : I take the real Brooke Davis.

Brooke : Here's your stupid jacket. I should have seen this coming. You related to my character in the book, and you wanted all my wardrobe to be sexier, and you gave me your letterman jacket. You want high-school Brooke? I have news for you. I am not that girl anymore. There is a lot more to me than just sex.

Julian : Brooke ...

Brooke : High-school Brooke graduated!

Julian : Hey, Brooke!

Adam Reese : Don't worry. I know where you can find five more who look just like her.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Haley : Oh, hey. You're baby-proofing. Don't forget the laundry room. Jamie used to take naps in the dryer.

Peyton : Yeah, I got it. The toilet, the cupboards, fridge. What else does a baby get into?

Haley : Your heart.

Peyton : I love it.

Haley : Good.

Peyton : Thanks.

Haley : I saw you registered for a boning Kn*fe, but I figured that was more practical for a newborn. How you holding up?

Peyton : I don't know. One minute, I'm shopping, and the next, I feel like I'm gonna cry. Tell me that's normal.

Haley : Just remember, things are never as bad as you think they are, even though your hormones are trying to convince you otherwise.

Peyton : I know, I know. Um, I just ... I keep telling everybody that I'm okay. But doing all this baby stuff just really makes me wish that Lucas was here. I've got this doctor's appointment tomorrow that I really want him to go to, but he's so busy with the movie.

Haley : Well, if you want him to go, why don't you just tell him?

Peyton : I did. I told him last week. But with everything that's going on, he's ... you know, he's swamped, and I don't want to be a nag.

Haley : I think you should nag him anyway. That boy needs it.

Peyton : Thanks. And thanks for being so good with Luke. You make everything better for us.

AT BROOKE'S HOUSE

Brooke : Sorry I'm late. I'll start dinner

Sam : Or we can order pizza.

Brooke : Sam, I am not in high school anymore. I can make you a grown-up dinner, like a salad or a ... roast.

Sam : Okay, I was just thinking maybe we could celebrate?

Brooke : Okay. What should we celebrate? The fact that I finally ditched my clone or that Julian thinks that I am a teenage nymphomaniac?

Sam : Um, I was just kind of thinking maybe we could celebrate me winning the school essay contest.

Brooke : Really? Sam, that's amazing. "Homeless in high school."

Sam : It's about me and Jack ... How rough life can be on your own. All that fun stuff.

Brooke : I am so proud of you.

Sam : Thank you.

Brooke : Can I put it on the fridge?

Sam : Yeah.

Brooke : Okay.

Sam : Brooke ... you're so mad at Julian, but at least he's still around. I would give anything to have Jack back.

Brooke : Yeah. But we should be celebrating that. So, what do you want to do?

Sam : I want to eat pizza.

Brooke : Seriously? Okay.

AT DAN'S HOUSE

Lauren : So thanks for tonight, Jamie. I'll see you in school tomorrow? Bye.

Dan : So, how did the rest of your evening go?

Jamie : So-so. She just wanted to talk about adult stuff like a new car and Maroon 5. Next time, I think I should date someone my own age.

Dan : Or younger.

Jamie : I'm sorry I called you mean. Next time, we should just do a guys' night.

Dan : So, uh... we still friends?

Jamie : Best.

AT LUCAS'S HOUSE

Peyton : Hey, it's me. Um, god, I'm sorry. I know you're busy. Just today has been ... I tried putting the crib together. I did. It just totally sucked. And every square inch of our house needs to be baby-proofed, or our kid's gonna end up like junk. And I don't even know what we're registered for. I really just wish you could have been there. Um, and I wish you could be there for my doctor's appointment tomorrow, but I know you're busy, and I just ...

Phone : If you're satisfied with your message, press 1. If you would like to erase and re-record your message, press 2.

Peyton : Hi! It's me. Um, I put the crib together. It's awesome. So, I just want to call and say hi and I miss you and come home soon, okay? Bye.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC

Adam Reese : You want to know what I think?

Lucas : I know what you think. You want the girl with the big breasts.

Adam Reese : Look, when I was casting "Trouser hound," I had a really tough time trying to decide who should play Miss Kittington. A director friend of mine told me to close my eyes during the auditions. He said that was the best way to be able to hear the actress and not just see a hot girl.

Lucas : Is that what you do?

Adam Reese : No! I picked the actress with the best rack. You just looked like you needed some advice.

Girl : Hi.

Adam Reese : Well, hello. Leave us.

Girl : Actually, I want to speak to both of you. I really want to play Peyton. I feel that I identify with her. We were both in the popular crowd in school even though we felt like outcasts, and we both feel that the first song you hear in the morning can affect your entire day. And I'll totally sleep with you. You too.

Adam Reese : Well, look at you go. You just made my decision very, very easy.

Lucas : Mine, too.

AT THE STUDIO / TRIC - AT THE GYMNASIUM - TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL

Adam Reese : Playing the role of Peyton Sawyer is Miss Heidi Jay.

Lucas : Sorry, but the other girl just wasn't Peyton. I had to go with my gut.

Adam Reese : No worries. She was Peyton last night ... and I was Lucas. Everyone, welcome to the table read

for "An unkindness of ravens." I am Adam Reese, your Director. This is Lucas Scott, the writer and producer. Lucas.

Lucas : All right, here it goes. "Fade in. Exterior Tree Hill High School. Night. Steady traffic filters into the parking lot as a solitary figure enters frame, dribbling a worn basketball."

Nathan Actor : "I'm really lucky to have basketball. It's pretty much my sh*t at everything from here on out.

If I lose that, it's over for me."

Nino : Well, well. If it ain't the jolly green-shoe giant. Oh, that's right. You only 6'2", so I guess that'd make you sprout.

Nathan : What are you doing here, Nino?

Nino : Playing point guard. Or at least I will be as soon as you get the hell up out of my spot. Hey ... see you on the court, 12.

Haley Actress : "When I'm tutoring someone and they get it and that light goes on, I feel good. I feel worthy. "

Girl : So I put soap in my foster mom's wine ... cleaned her mouth out for a change."

Boy : That's so awesome. Hey, Sam, great article.

Missy (Brooke Actress) : "I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say there's no one else that you could ever be with and that you'd rather be alone than without me. "

AT DIXIE'S RESTAURANT

Julian : Does that look like Mr. Popular to you? I know you're not the person you were in high school, 'cause I'm not, either. And I'm glad, because that kid never would have stood a chance with you.

Brooke : Were you really a Mathlete?

Julian : I was the Mathlete. But I'm not anymore, and I don't want high-school Brooke. I'm sorry the breakdown hurt your feelings. It was meant to describe who the character was before anyone got to know the real person. That's a breakdown describing the Brooke Davis I'm looking for.

Brooke : "Funny. Intelligent. Kind-hearted. Strong-headed. Simple. Complicated. Motherly. Childish. Tough. Sensitive. Beautiful. Way cooler than she was in high school."

Julian : That girl has been nearly impossible to find but worth every second of the wait.

Brooke : Are you gonna make sure missy knows this?

Julian : I'm gonna make sure everybody knows.

Peyton Actress : I'm glad you're here. "I know we kind of lost each other for a while there, but hopefully that's over, right?"

Lucas Actor : "It's always gonna be there, isn't it ... you and me?"

AT THE HOSPITAL

Doctor : Is the father going to be joining us?

Peyton : No.

Lucas : Yes ... he is.

Peyton : Hey. How'd you know?

Lucas : You told me last week.

Peyton : I'm so happy you're here, Luke.

Lucas : Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Peyton : That's exactly what I needed to hear.

Doctor : That's your baby's heartbeat.

Lucas : Waouh! And that is exactly what I needed to hear. You're beautiful.

Lucas : "They eye each other, just a boy and a girl, alone but together in this place called tree hill." Let's make a movie.
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