04x11 - Goodbye, General Lee

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Friends, if you're wondering
why the Duke boys

are in such an all-fired hurry

when they ain't been
chased by nothing

and it ain't Saturday night.

So, they're not chasing women.

Well, they're hot to qualify
for Boss Hogg's first annual

Hazzard Drag 'n' Fly contest.

That's Drag 'n' Fly contest.

Which means, all
you gotta do to qualify

besides being a little bit crazy

is sprint like a
jackrabbit in your car.

Fly like an eagle in your car.

And land reasonably
upright in your car.

- That's a really good start.
- Yeah, I know.

'Turn right up there
to starting line.'

Then you wait until I
give you the "go ahead."

Alright, on your
mark, get set, go!

- Go.
- Go.

'That's it, c'mon..'

'Look at that.'

Oh, will you look at that.
He didn't even make it.

That's all that better
Jim Scugg's can do.

We ain't gonna have
no problem qualifying.

Ain't that the truth.

Don't tell us, you bought
that turbocharged b*mb

and hired us as drivers to
b*at that kinda competition.

Yeah, Boss, don't tell us.

I bought that turbocharged
b*mb and hired you as drivers

to b*at that kinda competition.

See over there. Lookie, lookie.

Couple of locals
in a b*at-up heap.

Me and Spanner will
take 'em in first gear.

- Yeah, Boss, no problem.
- Wrong, wrong, wrong.

'Cause you don't know
anything about the General Lee.

I'll tell you one thing.

That General Lee
is about half human.

That's right, and each of
them Duke boys was born

with a silver gas
pedal in his mouth.

So you just watch.
Watch and learn somethin'.

Alright, Duke boys,
c'mon. C'mon, Dukes.

Alright, then.

- Now, you go when I wave.
- Alright.

On your mark, get set... go!

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

They b*at Jim Scugg's
mark by more than feet.

- Yeah.
- General must've grown wings.

He may have, but needs a
little more weight in the trunk

to balance him out.

Any more landings like
that and he'll have to grow

a whole new set of landing gear.

General sounded a li'l
funny when we hit the ground.

Yeah. He might've
busted a couple of bones.

We better take a look.

There ain't no way you're gonna
win with that General going...

Alright, boys, just go over
and warm up my car, will you?

- Do her some good, huh?
- Just get on it.

Boss, with the General
Lee jumpin' like that

there ain't no way you're
gonna win this Drag 'n' Fly.

Oh, you have little
faith. Listen, I aim to win.

Them drivers I hired
are NASCAR drivers.

- NASCAR.
- Yep.

Though recently
disbarred. So I'm gonna win.

- And I'm gonna make a profit.
- That don't make no sense.

How you gonna make a profit

when you're the one
providing the prize money.

- Prize money?
- Yeah.

- That's chicken feed.
- Chicken feed?

Yeah, compared to what
the owner of the winning car...

Namely you.

Namely me, can make
by endorsing products.

If you can only get
rid of the General Lee.

If only I can get rid
of the General Lee.

Yeah, I think I can get
a better look from here.

General, you're a mess.

Oh, dang it.

- No wonder it's all wonky.
- What?

You took a direct sh*t on
the drive shaft, looks like.

Let's see. Ugh!

Luke?

Luke? Luke, you alright?

'Luke?'

Uncle Jesse, Daisy, Rosco.

Any of y'all got your ears on?

I read you loud and clear, Bo.

'When we hit the ground'

'somethin' happened to the
drive shaft on the General'

'and it slipped and
hit Luke in the head.'

I think he's pretty bad. You
better call an ambulance.

We are on our way.

'Breaker, breaker, breaker!
This is J.D. Hogg calling Bo.'

'As the sponsor
of this year's event'

I wanna make sure that
your cousin Luke is okay now

so that you Dukes
can't sue me later.

So, you hot tail that boy
right over to the hospital

and then you have them
send the whole bill direct to me.

- 'Over and out.'
- Boss, was I hearing correct?

Don't think Luke's the only one
who got clobbered in the head.

You mean, you're actually
gonna pay his hospital bills?

- Yeah. Sure am.
- Why's that?

I'll tell ya.

I got me an idea that just
might make Luke Duke

withdraw the General Lee
from the Drag 'n' Fly all by hisself.

Luke ain't gonna do that
while he's in his right mind.

Uh-huh. Not while he
is in his... right mind.

That's why I'm calling
in... the professor.

Ooh!

Now, it turned out that ol' Luke

having the Duke hard
head wasn't really hurt.

So ol' Boss sneaked his
ringer into Luke's room

before the Dukes showed up.

Just wanna test your reflexes.

Now, you just watch this watch.

Left, right. Left, right.

'Your eyes are getting tired.'

'The lids are getting
heavier and heavier.'

'You're sleepy. You
want to rest and sleep.'

Sle-e-ep.

Luke?

He's all yours.

You mean that's all it
took to hypnotize him?

- That's all it took.
- Alright, professor.

Now, what happens next?

Oh, just the basic
post-hypnotic suggestion.

Everything we tell him
now, he'll remember.

- Just when you want him to.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Good.

We better hurry and tell him
'cause we might just get spotted

by one of 'em real doctors
or his family might see you.

- Well, he's all yours.
- Yeah?

The prices you're
charging me, he'd better be.

'Say, boy. What's your name?

Luke Duke.

And what's the name of your car?

Car is General Lee.

It's always breaking
down, ain't it?

Account of it's old and
ready for the junk heap.

Junk heap.

Yeah. So the next
time that it breaks down

you're gonna get
rid of General Lee.

'No matter who
tries to stop you.'

No matter who tries to stop me.

You're gonna get
rid of General Lee.

Gonna get rid of General Lee.

- Alright. That do it?
- That does it.

- Alright.
- Except for one more thing.

Luke, you will not remember me

'nor anything that
happened in this room.'

And you will stay in
your post-hypnotic state

until you hear a sound like..

There, now we're finished.

Uh-uh. You mean,
Luke Duke is all finished.

Only he don't know it yet.

So, Boss paid off the
professor and sneaked him out.

Then tried to enlighten Rosco.

Now, friends and neighbors

he had his work
cut out for him there.

It's you. Oh, jeez, listen.
Boss, I'm glad your here.

Just now I saw Jesse
and his pickup truck

whipping around
back of the hospital.

Don't worry. I know,
I know. It's okay.

Listen, I'm just here at the
hospital visiting the poor boy

whose bill I'm taking care of.

Oh, yes.

Listen, Boss. Listen,
I'm a little bit worried.

You sure that, that professor,
him hypnotizing Luke like that..

- You sure that's gonna work?
- Of course it's gonna work.

The very next time the
General Lee breaks down

Luke Duke ain't gonna have
no choice but to get rid of it.

And then..

And then, your gonna win
the Drag 'n' Fly just like that.

- Don't never do that.
- Do what?

Snapping your fingers like that.

If Luke Duke was around
to hear that kinda snapping

my whole plan would fall apart.

Quicker than..

Oh, I almost did it myself.

You sure did. Naughty, naughty.

By the time Jesse and Daisy
showed up to take Luke home

no one realized that
he had been hypnotized.

- How ya doin'?
- How ya feelin'?

- How are you?
- I feel pretty good.

Good. Good.

- Well, you ready to go home?
- You bet. Let's get outta here.

- Alright. Let me see.
- Okay.

Find my jeans. They gotta
be around here somewhere.

That night, Boss sent Rosco
to tinker with the General.

Which was very smart.

'Cause all Rosco had to
do was turn on the ignition

for something to go wrong.

Who? Sheriff Rosco
P. Coltrane, that's who.

You dumb bird.

Next morning, it was
business as usual.

'Ooh, hot dog.'

Looks like we're gonna get
to test the General a lot sooner

that we thought, huh?

Hey, Cletus. This
here is Bo Duke.

Listen you might as well
forget about arresting us.

'You got no authority
on a private road.'

I got an order from Rosco
to chase you till I catch you

no matter where it is.

Luke, get out.

Howsomever..

The Boss Hogg county
road construction crew

were dragging out
their year road job.

Dang! How did he
make it through there?

How did we make
it through there?

You've been sniffled.

- Oh, no.
- Step on the gas not the break.

Looks like ol'
Rosco's magic touch.

I'm gainin' on 'em.

- sh**t.
- What's the matter?

I hope somebody does a
finger popping pretty quick

or ol' Luke's gonna
give Bo and Cletus

the surprise of their lives.

Oh, I have been dreaming
of catchin' the General Lee

ever since I joined the force.
It's gonna get me a raise.

Well, don't get
too excited, Cletus.

Think it was just luck

the General's not
feeling too good today.

I ain't so sure
it was just luck.

I think it was plain
bound to happen.

General's over the hill.
Ready for the junk heap.

'He sure ain't worth
fixing no more.'

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about getting
rid of the General Lee

just as soon as we can.

Buzzer's on a buzz saw.
Get rid of General Lee?

It wouldn't be no fun around
Hazzard at all without him.

You outta your mind?

Just because
I'm willing to admit

that General ain't
worth keeping no more?

You can't get rid of this car.

I mean this car's
truckful of memories.

Everybody in Hazzard
knows this car is held together

with spit and bailing wire.

That's no reason to get rid
of him. We can just fix him.

Bo, can't you see
it? This car is history.

Either you're too stupid
or too stubborn to admit it.

I got a good mind to show you

how stupid and stubborn
I am right here now.

No, No. Just ho-hold it
right there. Now, listen, uh..

I'm gonna call Cooter, he's
gonna come and give y'all a tow.

'I think you've been in
the sun a little too long.'

Now, being as how the
Dukes built the General

from the ground up..

Well, he's family.

I felt that way 'bout an
old convertible one time.

Oh, that was a good
one. That was a bad one.

You got this thing
turned around. Hit it again.

- Say cheese.
- Cheese.

'Uh, this is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane'

now calling Boss Hogg.

You got your ears on,
little fat buddy? Come back.

Rosco, any more of
that "little fat buddy" stuff

and you may wind
up with a big fat lip.

Besides, you're interrupting
some important business here.

Alright, boys,
let's hit it again.

- Say peaches.
- Peaches.

Oh! Now, wait a minute.

Is that business anything to
do with my raise? Come back.

No, the important
business has to do

with me and my
winnin' drivers here

havin' our pictures took for
them endorsement posters.

Alright, let's hit
one for posterity.

Boss, never mind your posterior.

Listen, I got good
news, good news.

I just saw Cooter dragging
the General Lee over toward

the Duke farm and Luke
Duke looking mad enough

to eat tadpoles, come back.

Ho ho ho. Well, well,
well. Is that a fact?

You don't suppose them
boys had some kinda accident

with their car, do ya?

Are you kiddin' or
what? No accident.

'I took care of the
General Lee myself.'

Rosco, hush. Will you hush?

Uh, boys, just go and get
them shock absorbers, will ya?

Mr. Photographer,
check your focus.

Rosco, is your
pilot light going out?

Listen, Boss, I
want a raise now.

I want more than %
of my %. Come back.

I'll give you a raise. I'll
give you a % raise.

I'll give you a % of %
of %. How about that?

Well, that's better. I got
him just where he wants me.

'Smoke pouring out the back?'

'It even came up to the
windows in the back.'

- Let her on down.
- Alright.

Watch your fingers
and watch your toes.

You got it.

That oughta about do it.

Yep, Cletus was in hot pursuit

and we had smooth
sailings clear ahead of us

and General up and d*ed.

Luke, I wish you would stop
griping about the General

until we figure out
what's wrong with him.

- Everything's wrong with him.
- Not everything.

Ain't nothin' wrong with 'em
parts. I let ya have on credit.

That's top of the line stuff.

There's a point, Cooter.

There ain't hardly an
original part left in him

and it still don't help.

Just too old to move.

On behalf of General
Lee, I resent that.

Next thing you'll be saying
is I'm too old to move.

Oh, he ain't mean
like that, Uncle Jesse.

Luke's just a little put out.

Cooter, you don't have to
be making excuses for me.

It ain't nothing
personal, Uncle Jesse.

'I just don't wanna be
owning this car another day.'

Luke, I should have something
to say about that, doesn't it?

'The General Lee
is half mine, ain't it?'

That's beside the point.

It's time to admit the
General's over the hill.

- He ought to be replaced.
- No way, Luke.

Well, then, one of us
oughta buy out the other one.

- Alright then.
- Oh, come on, you guys.

Who's gonna buy out who?

If corn was a dollar a ton
y'all couldn't afford grits.

Well, then, we ought to settle
it like we did when we was kids.

- The winner gets the pink slip.
- You got yourself a deal.

Now, you two just
hold it right there.

I'm gonna count to three,
and if you ain't settled

your differences by the
time I snap my fingers

I'm gonna take one
of these straps to ya.

'Now, what's it
gonna be? One, two..'

Alright, Uncle Jesse, you win.

Alright.

Seems like you
two ain't learned yet

that Dukes don't fight Dukes.

Besides, we got better
ways to settle our differences.

Alright. Didn't leave
you much room, Bo.

Well, cousin, there's a whole
lot more room down there

than you think there is.

Yes, sir.

- Whoa!
- Nice sh**ting, Bo.

That's real good
sh**ting, y'all.

But we're back
where we started from.

That's right. It's a tie.
Ah, let's see, a tie breaker.

We gotta move back five
paces and sh**t till we win.

Five more.

Right here.

- Uncle Jesse...
- Don't ask me, Daisy.

I've never seen Luke's
nose so far out of joint ever.

It's like he's a whole
different person.

Dead center, twice in a row.

Think you can do that
little trick of yours again?

It's worth a try.

That settles it.

Get rid of the General Lee
just as soon as we can get him

'running to get him
to a used car lot.'

Come on, Cooter. Give me a hand.

Uncle Jesse, I tried.

After they fixed up General Lee

Bo figured Luke
would changed his mind

about gettin' rid
of the 'ol General.

Of course, he didn't know
that Luke had been hypnotized

to get rid of the General.

For that matter,
neither did Luke.

I can't hardly hold the
road with any speed at all.

Steering wheel's got more
play in it than Boss's fingers.

No telling what else
is wrong with this car.

I can tell you. It's the driver.

Let's do it.

Are you gonna trade with Hobie?

Well, most of his cars
are just like him anyway

about half-smashed.

He's the only one who'd take
the General in this condition.

Let's hope.

Doing business
with Hobie Harkins

is a real test of character.

Trying to resist the
temptation of taking advantage

of someone who
gave in to it long ago.

Are you, are you Lo
and Buke, and Lo..

Well, you know who you are.

Would you boys care for a
little taste of sippin' shine?

- No, thanks.
- Ah, Luke here is on business.

Business?

In that case, I'll
take the little taste

I was gonna give you.

You never waste a
taste. Oh, that is silky.

What can I do for you, boys?

Well, the General's been ailing
lately and we was thinking...

Ailing? The General is sick?

Well, I got just
the thing for him.

'Look what it's done for me.'

Yeah, we weren't
thinking so much of a cure

as maybe trading up
to somethin' newer.

I just happen to
have this little buggy

you can shine up
to, oh, shine, huh?

'Here now, what do you
think of this little red beauty?'

It looks kinda
yellow to me, Hobie.

Yeah, well, through my
eyes they all look red.

'Yeah, she's a beauty, alright.'

Yeah, pity though,
Luke. We can't afford it.

Well, it's only, uh, .

And I will give you
$ for General Lee.

Nope, sorry. Looks like we've
to keep driving the General.

Now, hold on a second, Bo.

I won the right to do the
negotiating, remember?

Yeah.

'Hobie, how about
for the General?'

Eight, eight..

Well, I ju..

Well, I-I've gotta
drink to somethin'.

You got yourself a deal.

So the boys had
themselves a yeller car.

Don't that look weird?

Well... what do you think?

Yeah.

At least, you don't have to
climb in and out of the windows.

We will just as soon as
we get the doors welded.

'We get some orange paint'

get the stars and bars on
the top, big on the side.

We'll be all set.

Well, hold on. You never
said nothin' about doin' that.

How else do we paint a car we're
gonna name The General Lee II?

Now, just a minute.

Gettin' rid of the
General was one thing

but stealin' its name

ain't that double
jeopardy or somethin'?

The original General didn't have
no name till we gave it to him.

Wouldn't seem right not having
a General Lee in the family.

I wish you would've
thought about missing him

before you went out and
sold him in the first place.

Bo, look. We made a deal
to replace the General Lee.

Painting the car
is part of that deal.

But, Luke...

Or don't the word of a
Duke mean nothin' no more?

Uncle Jesse, he is getting
stranger and stranger every day.

I think I oughta talk
to him about this.

Don't. Now, he didn't
mean it. I don't think.

Daisy, come on. Luke's been
saying all kinda weird things.

Don't y'all tell me I'm the
only one that's noticed it.

No, we ain't
gonna tell you that.

But... he has been
acting kinda strange lately.

So, when he's gonna
start acting like himself?

Well, until he gets it
out of his system, honey.

Until he does, we're all gonna
treat him as kind and as gentle

and with as much
understandin' as we can.

Just hope to the Lord he
don't bust his family wide apart.

I can't hear ya.
Speak up, will you?

- Boss.
- Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just a
minute here. Just a minute.

- Alright. Who is it?
- It's me, Hobie.

Oh, Hobie Harkins,
what's on your mind?

Well, are you, are
you, are you sti... still

offering a thousand dollar bonus

for anybody who could
get those, uh, Luke boys

to p-p-part with General Lee?

Maybe I am and maybe
I ain't. What's it to you?

'Cause I just
slickered 'em out of it.

And my-my mech, uh, my mech, uh

the rep-repairman is, is

got her hummin' like a blender.

Oh, listen, listen.

You hear that? Now,
now, do you want..

Now, do you want it or not?

- Oh, I want it. I want it!
- Well, good.

Then all you have to do is
raise the bonus to $ , .

- $ , ? Hobie, are you drunk?
- Well, of course.

You must've got the DTs if
you expect I'm gonna pay , .

Well, I-I will do you a favor.

You-you, I will, I
will take it in shine.

Alright, alright.
No, wait a minute.

You'll take it in
cash, on account of

you're gonna need
that to pay the rent

on your car lot... because I
just happened to raise that rent

by that very same $ , .

- Ooh, gee.
- You know somethin'?

- What?
- That hypnotizing worked.

- It did?
- Yeah.

Luke Duke just got rid of
General Lee to Hobie Harkins.

Ooh!

And I just bought
him off of Hobie.

- You didn't!
- I did.

- You did?
- That's what I said.

Oh, good. You know
what we can do?

We can, we can
repaint the General Lee

and then we can put
it in the Drag 'n' Fly.

Isn't that a
brilliant idea, right?

- Wrong.
- Wrong?

- I ain't gonna use it.
- You ain't?

Mm-mm. I'm gonna
demolish that clunker car.

Demolish?

Get it outta my
life once and for all.

Ooh, good.

That's what I call
a brilliant idea.

Brilliant. That is brilliant.
How you gonna do that?

- How?
- How?

- Not me.
- Not you?

- You.
- Me?

- You.
- Me? Ooh, how?

- How?
- Uh-huh.

You're gonna shove
it right off the cliff

into Rainbow Canyon.

Right off the cliff, good.

'This is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane'

calling Boss Hogg with
the latest progress report.

Come back.

This is J.D. Hogg.

Uh, go ahead. Go
ahead. Uh, report. Report.

Well, the victim's vehicle is
on the slope overlookin' the cliff.

Uh, come back.

I don't want it overlooking
the cliff, knucklehead.

I want it over
the cliff, period.

'I just finished adding
that clunker car'

to my overall insurance policy
so I can recuperate my losses.

I repeat, over the cliff.

Uh, that's a great
big affirmative

'and, uh, the General
Lee's luck is about to roll out.'

And so am I, in case
there's any witnesses around.

Now, I don't know
about y'all, but I feel like

somebody's about
to sh**t my dog.

Wouldn't you just know it?

Fortunately, ol' Cooter was
heading that way on a call.

Hang on, General. I'm comin'.

Boy, right to the edge.

Now that's true love
between one good ol' boy

and one good ol' car.

Ha!

Yes, siree, Bob, I'll tell you
right now, if I'd have got there

five seconds later, old
General would be nothing

but a big reddish-orange blob at
the bottom of Rainbow Canyon.

It wouldn't make no difference
anyways. He ain't worth nothing.

I'm just gonna pretend
I didn't hear that.

The point is, General Lee
didn't get there by his lonesome.

Somebody had to push him.

And who'd wanna do
a mean thing like that?

Somebody who doesn't want
us to drive in the Drag 'n' Fly.

The only competition we
got there would be Boss Hogg.

Why didn't we think of that?

Well, things has
changed, though.

You two ain't driving the
General in the Drag 'n' Fly.

Well, Boss Hogg don't
necessarily know that.

The important thing
is, we gotta keep them

from trying to hurt
the General Lee again.

Which ain't gonna be easy

'cause whoever it is
ain't likely to stop now.

We'll just hide the
General in the barn.

Uh, Daisy, the General
ain't ours to hide no more.

The right thing to do
would be to take him back

to the person we sold him to.

Hobie? Luke, you
out of your mind?

Hobie might be
neck-deep in this thing too.

The only thing Hobie's
neck-deep in, is a shine bottle.

Truth of the matter
is, the law is the law

and us Dukes gotta
obey it no matter...

what might happen
to the General there.

Hey, folks, Eat Hogg's
Happy hamburgers.

Our slogan, "The only snack
that makes you straighten up

and fly right."

Fly right. Ha ha. Fly right.

- Cut!
- Alright, alright.

Good. Get ready for another one.

- Rosco, come here.
- What?

Tell me more of
them gory details

about the General's last charge.

Ooh, I'll tell you, he
went out in a blaze of glory

in Rainbow Canyon.

See, I heard this
horrendous crash.

And there was the crunch of
wood and the mangle of metal

and there was
the tinklin' of glass.

Tinkle, tinkle.

And then this
humongous black cloud

started ascending toward heaven.

Up, up, up, to that
big junkyard in the sky.

Yeah, I love it. I love it.

- I did too.
- Yeah, I thought you would.

With that car out of the
way, there's nobody to stop us

from winnin' the derby.

He's right, Boss. He's right.

Oh, I can see them
endorsements payin' off right now.

You ready for another one?

- Yeah.
- Alright, hit that fan.

- Hit that fan.
- Hit the fan!

Here we go.

Hold it. Hold everything.

The fan is a little too hard!

Turn it off! Turn it off!

- 'Rosco, come over here.'
- Yes, yes, yes, coming. What?

Listen, if that General
Lee went over the cliff

with clouds ascending,
what do you call that?

Well, that's..

Ooh! Oh, uh, uh, that's
a, uh, optical illusion.

'Uh-uh.'

- No, uh, it's a reincarnation.
- Never.

- No, it's certainly a miracle.
- What do you mean, miracle?

It's a miracle that they could
put the car back together again.

Yeah, well, you just
better take it apart again

and you get them
car-thievin' Dukes arrested.

For what?

They're driving around in my
personal property, ain't they?

And that spells
grand theft auto.

- Alright, now, get.
- I'm gone.

And that goes for
everybody. Get, get, get!

Now the Dukes was
tryin' to do the honest thing

which sometimes
gets complicated.

Bo was in the General.

Luke was driving old
yeller, followed by Cooter.

And Rosco trying
to arrest everybody.

And Boss' baddies trying
not to look too confused.

Best step on it, Bo.

Looks like we got about half
of Hazzard there hot on our tail.

If Rosco catches you
in the General, it's over.

I'm gonna head north and
double back to the used car lot.

Y'all run me some interference.

You want
interference, you got it.

I'm gonna look like the
right side of the bulldog line.

What's that fool doin'?

I don't know. Get
him out of the way.

Keep trying.

Hey, I got ya.

That fool's hooked us.

Shake it off. Do something else.

- Turn it or something.
- It won't work. He's got us.

- We're up in the air.
- We gotta do something.

- We can't do nothing!
- Will you do something?

Hit the brakes.

Hey, what say, Homer?

Where'd you drop in from?

'I can't stop just yet,
Homer. So hang on, will you?'

Move it over a little, huh?

- How's the wife?
- Whoa! She's alright.

Ah! A-ah!

'Homer, hang on
to your hat, will you?'

Just when Bo was beginning
to feel like General Custer

at the Little Bighorn,
what was left of the cavalry

came racing to the rescue.

Come on. Get in here.

Ooh! Not now, Flash.
We're in hot pursuit.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Flash, you alright?

'Cooter!'

Sorry 'bout that, Homer.

Hey, look, I-I'll buy you a cold
one down at the Boar's Nest.

Yeah, they're all okay.

They'll be right
back on our tail

after they quit
arguin' each other.

When they don't catch us,
they'll stake out the farm.

That suits me. As long as
they keep off us until o'clock.

What's so special about
o'clock? You got a heavy date?

o'clock just happens
to be the deadline

for the Hazzard
Drag 'n' Fly, that's all.

Wanna make sure we
b*at Boss at his own game

if we do have to use this car.

Since they were afraid
to meet at the farm

they laid low at one of Jesse's
old abandoned still sites.

'Course, Jesse
knew they'd be there.

Well, that's a real
fine kettle of catfish

you got us into this time.

Don't look at me.

Wouldn't be in this mess if
Luke hadn't given up the General.

It was time. He was
ready to fall apart.

You wanted to make
sure of that by selling him?

I didn't want nothin'
bad to happen to him.

Figured the worst
was belonging to us.

And he'd spend the
rest of his days in peace.

I don't understand you.

One minute, you're saying
the General Lee's ready

for the old soldiers home.

And then the next
minute, just like that

'you're worried about
what's gonna happen to him.'

What was that?

'I was sayin', the General... '

Uh, there was some kinda noise.

What, what was you saying?

I was just wondering how you
could consider the General Lee

an old friend and then the
very next minute, just like that

'you're bad-mouthin' him.'

Hold on a second.

Anybody who says I've been
bad-mouthing the General

'ought to have his
ears examined.'

I ain't believin' this.

You sound like somebody
who got out of a bad dream

and don't remember a thing.

Remember what?

Now, Bo, it ain't important
whether he remembers it or not.

The important thing is, he
don't feel that way no more.

What way?

Now, now, here's
what we gotta do.

We gotta make sure nobody
tries to total out the General Lee.

Total the General Lee?

Only way to do that
is to buy him back.

- Who sold him?
- Luke, wait a minute.

Uncle Jesse, we
ain't got no money.

He he, while you two
was runnin' from the law

I sold three cords of
wood to Zack Whitley.

Then I got a good
loan on the tractor

and with the mortgage payment,
we ought to have about enough

to make ourselves a deal.

I appreciate it, but we
can't let you do that for us.

I ain't doin' it for you. I'm
doin' it for the General Lee.

Old-timers like him and
me is gotta stick together.

Especially when
young whippersnappers

that ain't dry
behind the ears yet

'think we're ready
for the bone pile.'

Now get goin'.

The General's almost
back in our family again.

We can still make
that Drag 'n' Fly?

You bet we can.

- Well, let's get going.
- Let's go.

Get away? You let 'em get away?

You had Bo Duke dead
to rights on the charge

of grand theft auto and
you let him get away?

'Well. That's a sort of a
yes and sort of a no, see?'

Yes, they got away,
but no, we didn't let 'em.

Did we, Flash?

Flash is right, Boss.

We didn't let 'em, they
escaped on their own.

'We've been looking for 'em.'

Could've been worse.
At least, got the car back.

I don't want it back.
I want it demolished.

Listen, don't worry about it.

Flash and I'll go whizzing
to Hobie's and take care of it.

You ain't goin' whizzing
no place. Sit down!

Ooh.

Sorry, Flash. I didn't mean to..

I got a better idea.

Just to make sure nothin'
goes wrong this time

I want you boys to handle it.

You forgetting somethin', Boss.

'We're supposed to be competing'

in the Drag 'n'
Fly this afternoon.

That's right, Boss.

So you boys got plenty of time

to get yourselves hold
of some expl*sives

drive that General
Lee to the gravel pits

and then blow it
up into smithereens.

When the boys showed up

old Hobie was still
boiling about the shine

that old Boss had
double-crossed him out of.

He figured the best way to get
revenge was to spill the beans.

- Where's the General?
- Boss bought it.

That's the last person
I'd want ownin' General.

It won't be for long.

He's got two men out there
headed for the gravel pit

right now with enough
expl*sives in that car

to blow it higher than I am.

Let's go.

Friends, she's got the might

but I don't think
she's got the moves.

Well, I reckon it's all in
who's in the driver's seat.

Spanner, we ain't gonna
make it to the gravel pit.

If you can hold 'em off,
I'll blow it here somewhere.

Better be quick about it,
Banyon. They're coming on fast.

Ah!

Get up!

- Thank you, cuz.
- Here's mine.

Where you got that dynamite?

Too late, sodbuster,
the fuse is lit.

Luke!

You fool. What would you
do if that blew up your hand?

I wouldn't be standing here
realizing what a fool I was.

That's for sure.
What time is it?

It's about minutes before
the deadline for that jump and fly.

Let's get goin'.

Sure you wanna take the General?

After all the trouble
we been through

wouldn't make sense
to use anything else.

You're right.

Y'all realize that after
the day they've had

they're now fixing
to run a race?

And the final heat of
the Drag 'n' Fly Derby

is nearly over and old Boss'
car still hadn't made the run.

'You, idiot.'

'Ooh, you made me scuff my car.'

If Bo and Luke don't show up
here pretty quick, Uncle Jesse

they're gonna be eliminated.
They gotta be here by o'clock.

Yeah, don't cry
before the milk is spilt.

They still got a
good five minutes.

Dang, dang, dang. That
Banyon and Spanner.

What, what, who?

- My-my drivers. My drivers.
- Oh.

Why, they should've
been here an hour ago.

Oh!

Now, listen, they're not
the only ones missin'.

And they're not the only ones
worryin' either. Look there.

By now, General Lee
was snakin' through

some of the longest
shortcuts in Hazzard County.

Boy, it handles great.

Ha ha.

It's good to hear
you say that again.

Oh, dang, it's now or never.

Well, I can't wait
another second.

I'm gonna win that
first prize right now.

How you gonna do that,
Boss? You have no driver.

- Oh, yes, I do.
- Oh, you have?

- Who?
- You!

- Me?
- Mm-mm.

Are you kiddin'?

But, Boss, that is
a horrendous jump.

What if I don't make it?

Well, then I won't own
the winning car, will I?

You wouldn't want that
to happen to the man

who signs your
paycheck, would you?

- Paycheck? You don't mean..
- Mm-mm.

- You mean?
- Mm-mm.

- Oh, Boss, listen..
- Come on.

No, no, Boss, listen, listen.

I'm too old to die!

You just get out there
and win or don't come back.

That's what I'm afraid of, Boss.

Oh, this is scary.

Faster, faster.

Hope I don't leave
Flash an orphan.

Mm, mm.

Ooh!

That ain't bad.

Rosco, he done it! He done it!

He got the best time
and distance both.

Well, now, don't be
too sure about that, J.D.

This here derby ain't over yet.

Yeah, well, it will be in
just less than a minute.

Nobody's gonna cheat me out
of them advertisin' pictures now.

You sure of that, Boss?

Bo and Luke Duke
in the General Lee?

They made it through,
Uncle Jesse. Oh!

'Yaa-hoo!'

Lookie there.

They took one whole
second off of Rosco's time.

- Dang!
- They b*at his distance too.

That means we b*at you
twice in the same race, Boss.

Dang!

'Well, just hush'

'or I'll arrest you for double
parking in a drag strip.'

'Ooh, you done
scuffed me enough.'

'Now you're scuffin' me more.'

You alright, Rosco? Come on out.

That would've k*lled
ten ordinary men.

Boy, that was a
hellacious jump, that was.

Well, listen, get your
clammy cabbage-picking..

I don't need your help.

Hey, Boss... afternoon.

It's gonna take a lot to
put this back in shape.

So, we figured, we'd help
you out of your financial jam

by buying back the
General from you.

What? Wh..

After them product
endorsements you done me out of

nothing in this whole wide world

would make me sell that car to
you. No time, no how, no way.

Rosco, ain't there some sort of
fine for transporting expl*sives

in an unauthorized vehicle
like the General Lee?

Are you kiddin'? Of course
there is. A thousand dollar fine.

- That wasn't what he was doing.
- No.

Then, what was he doing with
them expl*sives in the General?

That was to blow it
up for the insurance.

- Why did you..
- 'Boss, you know what?'

You should've hypnotized
me instead of Luke.

Hold on a second, now. What's
all this talk about hypnotizing?

- Nothing.
- Uh, Rosco, Rosco.

One more word and
I'm gonna have that big

fat tongue of yours bronzed.

You ain't gonna
have to do that, J.D.

Things is beginnin' to clear up.

Luke, I'm awful sorry.

I... should've known it
was some scheme of Boss'

'that made you want
to sell the General.'

Yeah, it's probably against
the law to hypnotize a person

against his will too, ain't it?

So unless you decide to
sell the General back to us

I think we're gonna...

But what do you
Dukes got to pay for it?

Why don't you keep
your prize money

and give the boys
back their car?

Alright. alright.
Alright. Alright, you win.

Here. Here's the slip.

Alright!

And you... on second thought

I ain't gonna have
your tongue bronzed.

Ooh, good.

I'm gonna bronze
your whole head.

Ooh.

And that's how hypnotizin'
Luke backfired on the Boss.

One thing about Hazzard
County, a body's never over the hill

as long as it's still
got the fighting spirit

whether it's a man or a car.