04x24 - Miss Tri-Counties

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Now, the General ain't
racing and he ain't chasing

but he's sure burning rubber

trying to get to the biggest
cultural event in Hazzard.

The finals of the first
Annual Tri-County

Beauty, Talent and
Mechanicals Aptitude Contest.

And Daisy has entered...
if she can get there on time.

Uncle Jesse, what time is it?

It's... just a little bit later than
it was when you asked me

about two minutes ago. It
is now minutes after ten.

You got more
minutes to get there.

Bo, do you think
we're gonna make it?

Come on, Daisy. Has the General
Lee ever let a lady down before?

What makes you so all-fired
sure I'm gonna win anyhow?

Daisy, look.
There's two reasons.

First of all, talent
here in these parts

doesn't mean twirlin' the baton
or, or pounding on the piano.

It means fixing and racing cars.

Second of all, there ain't no
girl here in Hazzard County

or the other two counties

that can do either of those
things as good as you can.

Now, of course, old Luke don't
know about the competition.

Miss Melanie Dubois and
her sponsor, Big Jim Mathers.

Now if you think
they're straight

I've, Tennessee meat property
that I'd like to sell to you.

Oh, well, well, well and well.

As I live and breathe, it's Big
Jim Mathers of Hatchapee County.

Ain't seen you in a hound's age.

Oh, sure, sure we have.

- Just-just the other day...
- Would you zip up?

I'd like to introduce y'all
to Miss Melanie Dubois.

Well, I sure am
pleased to meet you.

- I'm Rosco P. Coltrane.
- Alright, alright.

Her entry form.

You sure filled out your
form, didn't you, eh, lady.

You got a well filled out form.

Here, just ring this thing up.

Oh, ring this up here.
Now just slip that in there.

That's it.

Alright. They're it is.

Oh, will you stop
punching that thing?

Now then. You are officially
entered in the competition.

Yeah.

Competition? From around here?

Don't make me laugh.

Oh.

- Alright, you got it?
- Yeah.

- , in large bills.
- Yes.

And , reasons,
Hogg, to break every bone

in your little fat body,
if my Miss Melanie

don't win this competition.

There ain't no way
that she can lose.

The only one around here
that'll even be in the run

is the local gal, Daisy Duke.

And I fixed it so that
she can't even enter.

Well, you better have, Hogg.

'Cause, if you don't
keep that Duke gal

out of Miss
Melanie's hair, I will.

Big Jim means business.

He'd send his mama to
prison if he had the chance

to gettin' them
license plates for free.

Dang. Where did
them things come from?

We've seen Cletus put them
up about half an hour ago

when we came through here.

There ain't no
real detour though.

That means we
don't have to take it.

- Hang on y'all.
- Oh!

Ha ha. One detour going by.

I'd like to have my
$ right now.

What $ may that be?

That's the % of
my % of your..

Uh-uh, uh-uh, you ain't
getting one thin dime.

- I ain't?
- No siree, Bob.

Not yet, anyhow.

Because first, I need every
penny of this here little amount

to develop and build
my solar-powered still.

- Solar-powered still?
- Mm-hmm.

Are you kidding me?

There ain't no such thing
as no solar-powered still.

'Don't you know
what solar means?'

- 'Well... uh..'
- From the sun!

Don't you get it?
Them little solar cells.

- Oh, that. Them little pieces.
- Yeah.

Sunshine makes
moonshine makes the mood.

Ooh. I love that. I love that.

- No ashes to haul.
- None to haul.

- Yeah. No smoke.
- No smoke.

So the revenuers could
see it or something like that.

Listen, I'll tell you
something. That is foolproof.

Yeah. You oughta know. Ha ha ha.

Except for one
little itty-bitty detail.

We gotta make sure that Daisy
don't enter that beauty contest.

Gotta make sure Daisy Duke
don't enter that beauty contest.

Server to Command Post.
Server to Command, uh, uh, uh..

Cletus, this is no
time for yodelin'.

Get on with the report.

Uh, ooh.

- What?
- What?

Uh, General Lee.

- What?
- What? What? What?

What did he say?
What did he say?

General Lee just
passed Checkpoint Alpha.

It's bad news, bad news.

Uh, you see

they go right on through
those sawhorses we put up.

Now Cletus wants us to come
out there and get him off the hook.

Not till I get off the
hook with Big Jim.

But Boss, you're
not on a hook yet.

We can keep Daisy from
signing up for that beauty contest

as long as we can keep her
from passing Checkpoint Bravo.

I ain't waiting for
Checkpoint Bravo.

I'm gonna retreat to
my office right now.

Come on. Grab that
clock and let's go.

Come on, get it. Come
on. Hurry, come on.

'Come on.'

Uh... y'all wait
here while I find out

why that fat little rat
is desertin' the ship.

Breaker one, I might
be crazy but I ain't dumb.

Crazy Cooter coming
at you, Bo and Luke.

Lost Sheep coming back at
you, Cooter. What's on your mind?

Hey, Lost Sheep. J.D.
Hogg's on my mind as usual.

I wanna let y'all know he just
moved the time clock indoors.

Much obliged for
that information.

We'll head straight there
as soon as we get to town.

Alright, put that clock
down there on the desk.

And then shove
something against the door.

I don't want them Dukes busting
in here before the deadline.

Oh, this door is stuck.

Ooh, ooh. You got Jim.

I didn't know you
was there behind me.

Come on in. This
is my private office.

Put something against the
door. Come on. Will you work it?

You like this room?
We got it fixed up good.

- There.
- Move the chair!

That will do no
good, that silly thing.

Shove that chair! Come on.

- Shove it against the door.
- Shove it up against the door.

Alright. Now we're safe from
them Dukes comin' in here.

That's right.

Come on, Daisy.

One of these days, I'm
gonna take take me a saw

and fix them doors.

- Closed!
- Ah, dang it.

I got an idea. Come on.

One minute till the deadline.

Oh, I got them Dukes
b*at this time, Rosco.

Big Jim, ain't no way
Daisy Duke can get herself

into the Miss
Tri-Counties Contest now.

No way.

Uh!

'Oh. We're being invaded.'

Rosco, stop 'em.

Luke Duke! Bo Duke! Daisy Duke.

'Alright, you Dukes,
freeze, freeze, freeze!'

You're arrested for trespassing.

Oh, Rosco, you're too late.

You can't arrest us 'cause
this is a county building

'and should be open to the
public during business hours.'

And in case you're
forgetting, we are the public.

But we'll be gone before
you can count to one.

Here's my form for the Miss
Tri-Counties Beauty Contest.

- Argh.
- 'Bye.'

There we go.

Later on, Boss.

Kinda dropped in, eh?

Seven seconds.

She b*at the deadline by
seven piddly itty-bitty seconds.

We did it!

Once she was in the
contest right and proper

it didn't take Daisy too
long to meet the competition.

Well, you must be Daisy Duke.

Well, I sure am,
sugar. Who are you?

In a couple of days, you'll be
calling me Miss Tri-Counties.

Ain't you just jumping the
g*n a little bit, sweetheart?

The contest ain't
even started yet.

I just wanted to give
Daisy a chance to quit

before I embarrass her
in front of all her friends.

She's a modest
little cuss, ain't she?

Yeah... or she knows
somethin' we don't.

Oh, doesn't matter
whatever it is.

We gotta go to Cooter's

so you can teach me
to build that carburetor.

Meantime, Boss and
Big Jim were havin'

a down-home business discussion.

You welchin' bucket of blubber!

Is this what you call
keepin' the Duke girl

out of the contest?

Well, this? Yeah, yeah. I
mean, no! No, no. I don't mean..

I don't know what I mean!

I've got a good mind
to take back my money

and do things my way.

Don't do that, Big Jim.
Leave the money with me.

Everything will be alright.
Your lady friend's gonna win.

And as for doing
things your way..

Look, I don't want
nobody roughed up.

- Especially yourself.
- Yeah.

Which is just what's gonna
happen if Melanie don't win.

'You see, she won't
keep me happy'

if y'all don't keep her happy.

And if you make her unhappy
that makes me unhappy.

So, she better win.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

What was that?

If we made him happy,
he made me happy.

Oh, da-da-da, would
you stop all that.

- He's mean.
- Phew!

Oh my. I want a girl to
look at my solar power..

A few threats don't
bother old Boss none

but that model of
that solar-powered still

Old Boss can already see himself

just revolutionizing
the whiskey business.

- Come on, Daisy.
- 'Alright. Lookin' good.'

- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah! Whoo!

That's the best time ever.
minutes and seconds.

I'm telling you, I couldn't
have done that better myself.

I couldn't do
much better either.

If I win it's gonna
be because of y'all.

Oh, come on, Daisy.
What do you mean, if?

You're cinch to win the best
mechanic, you know that.

But if I know J.D.,
and I do know him

he'll do everything in his power

to keepin' a Duke from
winnin' that contest.

You know, it just
doesn't make sense.

If I win, it's so much
publicity for the Boars Nest.

I bet he's saving that
prize money for Lulu.

I guess we gotta be
ready for every possibility.

Yeah.

'Listen, we got ourselves
a contest to run now.'

So, just simmer it all
down. Hold up. That's right.

Main announcement up here.

Folks, it's now my
privilege and pleasure

to introduce to
you our first finalist

sponsored by the Riverton
County Sheriff's Department

Deputy Lu-Ann Milsap

otherwise known as
Miss Riverton County.

Yeah.

Uh, now over here's
our second finalist

uh, sponsored by a distinguished
gentleman from out of town

who shall remain nameless,
Miss Melanie Dubois

otherwise known as
Miss Hatchapee County.

'No way.'

He he he.

And then, uh, over here,
folks, our third finalist, um

last but least, sponsored
by the Tri-Counties -H Club

J.D.

Oh, excuse me, a local lady

whose name slipped
my mind for the moment

Miss Hazzard County!

Alright, simmer
down! Simmer down!

Hold it. Hold it.

Alright, alright, now
here are all the rules.

Listen. This year the contest
is divided into three parts.

Beauty, driving and
mechanical ability.

And now we come
to the first part

in which we'll find out
which of these lovely ladies

is the best mechanic.

So, we've given each one of them

a disassembled carburetor

and the first one of these
lovely ladies to reassemble

this disassembled carburetor
with each and every part

put back right where
it goes in the first place

will be declared the
winner of this event.

Alright, ladies, there
are them little booths.

Now just step inside
and we'll get started.

But don't begin
till I give the signal.

Did you hear that J.D.?

I can tell it when he's got
somethin' up his sleeve

and he's got somethin'
up his sleeve..

It don't make no difference.

Daisy can take care
of herself just fine.

Alright, now. Get ready!

Get set! Go!

And just to show
everything's up an up

and they'll have no
coachin' from the sidelines

I'm gonna ask
Cletus to do his duty.

- Cletus, do it.
- You bet, Cousin Boss.

Boss.

- Listen, come here.
- What?

You sure that Daisy
can't see nothin' in there?

Not unless she's half hoot owl.

Good.

Uh-uh-uh-uh! No, no, no.

I'm done.

You told me, you had
everything under control!

Nobody welches
on Big Jim Mathers!

No. No.

Here!

Alright, alright! Wait a
minute! Wait a minute!

Daisy Duke, you cheated!

Ain't no way anybody could put

a carburetor like that
together again so fast..

Under the circumstances.

You mean, because the light in
my booth wasn't working, huh?

Oh, it wasn't?

Lucky, Luke showed me
how to do it blindfolded.

That's a fact.

Standard procedure in
the marines is to be able

to disassemble and
reassemble a carbine blindfold.

Well, carbines ain't
carburetors! Hey, everybody.

How do we know that Daisy
Duke put this thing together right?

Maybe she overlooked a
couple of itty bitty little pieces.

Oh, you mean like those two
jet valves that were missing?

You hear that? She admits
her carburetor ain't complete.

J.D., you dirty...

Oh, Uncle Jesse, please
don't start anything.

I didn't have as many parts as
the other girls had to assemble

and, well, I'd like
to forfeit first place.

You can't do that!
It's just what he wants!

Alright, boys. Boys, boys.

If that's the way Daisy feels,
that's the way it's gonna be.

If she wants to
forfeit, she'll forfeit.

Thank you.

J.D., she's gonna b*at
you in other two categories.

You watch.

Since Daisy forfeited the
talent contest to Melanie

Old Boss ought to be
as happy as a mouse

trapped in a block of
cheese. But he ain't.

- Good news! Good news!
- Yes.

Hey, Boss, I've got somethin'
here that's gonna warm

the cockles of
your fat little heart.

Yeah?

Well, I'm gonna warm
your skinny britches

if you don't stop
interruptin' my exercisin'.

I've got very little
time to get in shape.

In shape? For what?

For runnin' away
from Big Jim Mathers.

Oh.

You know what he
said he'd do if Melanie

don't win that race tomorrow.

Are you kiddin' me? I'll knock..

- Did you say us?
- I did!

- Does that mean, me and you?
- 'Yes!'

D'oh-ho-ho.

Listen, Boss..

Faster! Faster.

Listen, I wanna take
this walk by myself.

Get off this thing, will you?

Listen, Boss, it doesn't really
make no difference anyway

because Big Jim's girlfriend
is gonna win that race.

This paper guarantees it.

Yeah. Only if you take it and
blindfold Daisy Duke with it.

Well, ain't nobody
gonna be able to b*at her

when she's drivin' that orange
crunked car of her cousins.

Listen, Boss, please read this
paper from the State Capitol.

Yeah, I gotta better idea.
I'm gonna take this paper..

Oh.

- Department of Motor Vehicles.
- Yeah.

A list of expired driving
licenses in Hazzard County.

And one of those
license is Daisy Dukes'.

That mean she
can't enter the race.

Can't do too. I love it.

Matter of fact, she ain't
got any rights to drivin' at all.

Ha ha ha!

Hallelujah!

Listen, you get right out
there and you run her in.

- I'll do it. I'll do it.
- Oh my.

This is really something.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, wait a minute. What
am I runnin' like this for?

I don't have to
get in shape now.

Oh my.

- Take the turn real real wide.
- Yeah.

Then you snake on down in
the center just like an old bull

comin' out of a rodeo chute.

Okay. You wanna pull
over and let me try it?

You already know how
to do it better than him.

'Well, there's Rosco.'

'What?'

He's sellin'.

Whatever it it, we ain't got
time to buy. Come on, let's go.

Now, here comes trouble.

Boss' county road
maintenance water truck

watering down dirt
roads on our little country.

Sometimes old
Boss just can't miss.

If he don't get 'em one
way he'll get 'em another.

Whoa-ho!

We better make sure
Rosco ain't drowned.

Rosco!

I love this. I love this.

You need some help?

If I do need help, it ain't
from no Duke, I'll tell you that.

Course, Flash,
ain't so particular.

- Well, now, you doin alright.
- We just gonna take off then.

No, you're not.

Just freeze it right
there and just stay froze

until I give Daisy
a ticket for driving

with an invalid license.

What are you talking
about, Roscoe?

This license is just fine.

Sure, it lists up.

Well, that and it
expired last week.

Oh, I love it. It's
music to my ears.

Your ears are playing a
wrong tune 'cause Luke drivin' it.

- She couldn't break the law.
- It don't make no difference.

I can keep her from driving
in a Miss Tri-County race.

That's exactly,
what I'm gonna do.

Y'all just move it on out
of here before I arrest you.

- Roscoe!
- Thanks a lot.

Get going.

'How about that?'

Oh, I know that.

Her name must be lady luck.

And you're ridin'
shotgun with me.

Somethin' tells me that this
ain't going to be too easy.

- We got whole day.
- I wish...

Oh, sh**t, you got this thing
licked you know that, Daisy?

Good girl.

Oh ho, Boss is there.

Daisy.

Boss.

What are you doin in here?

The regular DMV
examiner took it into his head

just half an hour ago to
take his full weeks vacation

up north, all expenses paid.

So according to local law I've
been appointed his substitute.

Doesn't matter, I
can pass the test

no matter who gives it to me.
When you wanna start, Boss?

I'm still boning
up on this here job

and I don't think I'll be
ready to give my first test

until this time
tomorrow morning.

But the Miss Tri-County's
race starts this afternoon.

Oh, well ain't that a
frustrating turn of events.

Boss, we ain't gonna
take this laying down.

Well, the way is not lost.

I mean, they're gonna
be lots of DMV examiners

all over this state, who'd be
happy to give Daisy her test.

Too bad, they just don't
happen to be in Hazzard County.

Come on, y'all.
Let's get moving.

- We're wasting our time here.
- I'll say!

Bye.

- What are we gonna do now?
- Just exactly what Boss said.

We're gonna find an examiner
who'll conduct your test.

- We'll go to Chickasaw County.
- I don't know about that.

Y'all be breaking
your probation.

Come on, Daisy. If we
don't do that, the kids

at the club won't get the
$ you promised them.

We've b*at Sheriff Little
before we could do it again.

- That's right.
- Okay.

I better read, I
might have to give it.

Listen, Boss. This is
something been bothering me.

I was just wondering,
if you really don't want

Daisy Duke to win the race.

How come you told 'em how
she could get her license renewed?

Because I'm givin' them
Dukes a double whammy.

Oh, how?

You know, what the closest
DMV testin' office is to Hazzard?

It's over in
Chickasaw, ain't it?

And Bo and Luke Duke are
gonna have to break their probation

just gettin' there.

Hello, Mabel. This is J.D. Hogg.

- Say hello from Roscoe.
- I will not.

Listen, get me Sheriff Little
over Chickasaw County.

Sheriff Little, are you kidding?

You can't trust a man
like that he's too honest.

Oh no, I can trust him.

I mean, because he's
gotta pay me back.

For many things
I've done for him.

Whether I can trust him or not.

I bet once he's nailed
Bo and Luke Duke.

He'll be happy to detain
Daisy Duke as material witness.

- So after that race is over.
- That's good.

A couple of hours
later Daisy and the boys

was deep in the
heart of Chickasaw.

And up to their
hub-caps in trouble.

DMV is about ten minutes away.

Daisy, how long do you
suppose that test gonna take you?

Give me a half hour door to door

just to be on a safe side.

'Half an hour door to
door is cutting it too close.'

Don't worry we get you
back in time for the race.

Provided we don't get
into any trouble before that.

It's just been going
to smooth to suit me.

I should have thought of it.

Boss wouldn't tell us about
the other DMV examiners

unless there's some
sort of catch to it.

Oh, look! There's your catch.

Boss must've called him
before we got out of Hazzard.

I'll tell you what, I ain't
pullin' over for no Sheriff.

Bo and Luke Duke.
This here is Sheriff Little.

Slow down and pull over.

Slow down and pull over.

We'll be able to lose him

for a couple of
minutes at a time.

That'll be enough!

Look, all you got
to do is drop her off.

Drop Daisy off at the
DMV and then give her

enough time to stay
ahead of Sheriff Little

until she done with
her drivers test. Right.

What happens after I
get my license done?

You just wait down on the street

we'll fly on by and you jump in.

We'll take you back to Hazzard.

- We got it.
- Alright.

Provided he
don't catch us first.

Come on, y'all.

The boys kept circling
the town with Sheriff Little

getting closer, ain't matter.

While Daisy was
taking her DMV test.

Now, I don't see how
that's going to work.

Besides, it looks
like old Sheriff Little

is taking the driving test.

Let's cover the right eye
and read the third line.

C-B-D-E-F.

And here's your
temporary license.

Thank you.

Now, folks, listen here.

The reason this
beer's on the house

is so we can all drink a toast
to the next Miss Tri-County.

Don't worry, darling. It
gotta him in my hip-pocket.

You better have.

You mess this one
up and I'm leaving.

Next Miss Tri-County.

We reckon Daisy Duke will
have something to say about that.

Well, that's true. Provided
she's here to say it.

I wonder where they are.

Look at that, we
better give 'em a call.

'He's still with us.'

As long as he can't
arrest us we'll be alright.

'Lost sheep and Bo Peep,
this is shepard, come back.'

Lost sheep and Bo peep,
this is shepard, come back.

Lost sheep here, uncle Jesse.

Were in thunderation are you?

We're about ten miles
North of Chickasaw City.

North? Why in tarnation do
you headin away from Hazzard?

We can hardly help that.

We got Sheriff
Little hot on our tail.

We're gonna crash.

- Hit the brakes.
- It's too late.

sh**t, to the Dukes that's
about like taking grandma

for a sunday drive.

I don't believe it.

Y'all listen if you ever
drive through Chickasaw

don't ever make him mad.

This shepard to lost
sheep, are you alright?

- Yeah, we're alright.
- And so is Sheriff Little.

Good, I'll be waiting.
Shepard, over and out.

First road we come to,
we head back to Hazzard.

People say, where did you
get all the grey hair, Mr. Duke?

Cooter needed to take
care of little business in town.

Like billing the County
for fixin' old Roscoe's

patrol car about a
dozen times a month.

In fact, if the
Dukes quit driving

old Cooter would have to
go back to the chicken farm.

Big Jim's bodyguard was
taking advantage of old Boss

not being around.

To make sure Melanie
would win the race.

According to this a one
quarter poise will agree.

Big Jim wants you to wait
there and take out anybody

that's ahead of Melanie.

I'll be at the three
quarter point down here.

If the Duke girl ain't
out off the race by then..

I'll take her out.

What was really amazing
is Cooter understood him.

Breaker breaker!
Bo Peep, Lost Sheep.

Y'all home in Hazard..

Ol' Cooter figured
on warnin' Daisy

and the boys over the C.B..

But they was on the other
side of Iron Mountain by then.

Couldn't hear him callin'.

In fact, you can't
even think straight

sittin' on Iron Mountain.

So old Cooter took
off for the startin' line.

Now, since Daisy forfeited
the carburetor contest..

Well, she's gotta
win the drivin'.

And she can't do
that, if she ain't here.

You know, I just hate it

when things are
stacked up against Daisy.

Listen, Boss, don't them
vehicles look beautiful?

'Shiny, all ready for the race.'

And not a General Lee in sight.

Which means that Big Jim
and his lady friend's gotta win.

Oh, she's gotta win!

Meaning I'm off the
hook, in the clover.

Right in the clover.

Which means that I can
almost hear that luchaswirlin'

through my solar powered
still this very minute.

I wouldn't be too sure
of that, Boss. Look there.

- 'Oh! Oh! Oh!'
- It's the Duke.

Little was supposed to have
them in slammer by now.

I gotta do somethin' fast.

Alright, you two cars

get this to start
when I say "three."

- What are you doin' J.D.?
- One!

- You can't start this race yet.
- Two!

- Now, don't worry about it.
- But Daisy ain't ready!

I ain't waitin'! Three!

Go! Go! Go!

Yee-hoo!

Listen to me. Whoa.
We got trouble, man.

Big Jim's boy's are staked
up alongside that road

to make sure nobody
wins that race, but his gal.

- Specially Daisy.
- How they plan to stop her?

Don't know. I know
one's at Willow Creek

other ones' at Cherokee Bluffs.

- Don't like the sound of that.
- Me neither.

We can't reach Willow
Creek before them.

I do know a shortcut
to Cherokee Bluffs.

- So come on.
- Alright.

- Cooter, can I use your truck?
- 'Sure.'

Perhaps you're wonderin'
why the boys didn't try

to call Daisy on the C.B..

That things don't work,
if they ain't turned on.

Come on, General!

Now, ain't that
just like a woman?

Checkin' her hair first.

Come on, General!

And y'all gotta remember,
there's two races cookin' here.

Daisy and Melanie..

And the Duke boys after
Big Jim's trigger man.

Look down there.

Got him.

Ah! Eee!

We got him. What
to do with him now?

Just you watch.

Ah-h!

Well, he don't look
like he's hurtin' too bad.

Y'all remember that
the contest ain't over yet.

Daisy and Melanie
have each won one event.

And next, comes the beauty part.

The one I've been awaitin' for.

Thanks, but General
Lee did most of the work.

General Lee had to be
driven to get here in that time.

And nobody
could've done it better.

Bless you little heart!

You won!

Don't feel bad,
little fat buddy.

Daisy may have won the
race, but on the other hand

Big Jim's girlfriend, now,
she's a better mechanic.

So goin' in to the
beauty contest

I would say that
they're both dead even.

Yeah? Well, let me
tell you, I hate them all.

Well..

- Oh!
- Oh-ho! Oh-ho!

You ain't goin' nowhere, Hogg.

And if Melanie doesn't
win the bathing suit contest

and become Miss Tri Counties..

I'm gonna take that
$ , outta your hide.

Next mornin', while
Daisy stayed behind

to finish makin' her bathing
suit for the final event

in the Miss Tri
Counties' competition..

Well, Jesse and the
boys went on ahead.

Just to make sure
Boss wouldn't pull

any last minute
dirty tricks on Daisy.

Looks to me like they may
have to widen that window.

You gotta cut down on
'em flapjack's in the mornin'.

- Hey, what are you doin' here?
- Come on, lady.

Now, somethin' told me
they should never have left.

- What do you want?
- Take it easy, lady.

Uh-huh, hey! Now,
simmer down, lady.

We don't wanna hurt you.

Let's get her in the
car. Nice goin' Malone.

About now, Boss and Big Jim
was gloatin' all over each other.

Disgusting!

Nothin'.

Went on the C.B. five
minutes, can't raise hide or hair.

I let phone ring at
the house for that long

and didn't get no
answer. She isn't there.

Maybe the jeep broke
down on the road?

Highly likely. Jeep's
in great shape.

- She could fix it.
- Yeah.

She ain't here or at the house.

She ain't in between. I sure
wish I knew where Daisy was.

Oh, don't worry about Daisy
none, Uncle Jesse. She's fine.

- What?
- You know where she is?

Well, nothin' I just heard
Big Jim tell Cousin, Boss...

Shhh!

They would let her go after
Melanie won the contest.

- Well, who's they?
- I don't know.

They told me nothin'.

I'm just a second
cousin twice removed.

Much obliged, Cletus.

Boy, don't that figure?

Had Daisy kidnapped so
she'd not be here for the contest.

- Much less win it.
- Where'd you suppose she is?

Rosco's bound to be in
this thing up to his neck.

So... challenging these three
here ain't gonna do us no good.

She's bound to be with
Big Jim's bodyguards.

We gotta find that black car.

- Let's go.
- Uncle Jesse, come on.

That's just what they want.

If this contest starts, and
nobody's here for us Dukes

they're just gonna
disqualify Daisy like that.

Can't afford to waste more
time. Let's get outta here.

- Somethin's wrong.
- What?

Dukes high-tailed it outta here
like their breeches was on fire.

Yeah, well, I guess
they didn't believe me

when I told them
Daisy's alright.

You told them what?

'I told 'em Daisy's okay.'

'You mean you
spilled the beans?'

No, I just told
'em Daisy's alright.

He did more than that, Hogg.

He just put your
fat in the fire.

He can dang well
pull it out of the fire.

Cletus, you go after
them boys, you hear me?

Or I'm gonna fire you as
second cousin. Rosco, you, too.

I want them Dukes arrested
before they cause any trouble.

- Um-um..
- On what charge?

Well, figure out a charge
after you nail 'em. Go on!

You in a lot of trouble, boy.

- Hoo! Hey, wait a minute.
- I'll get the... come here.

All you out there
who might be listenin'..

We got big trouble. This
here's Bo and Luke Duke.

We're lookin' for a
four-door black sedan.

'It'll be carryin' two men
and our cousin, Daisy.'

Anybody who see's
it, get back to us, quick.

You fella's ain't
got a chance now.

Everybody in Hazzard's
gonna be lookin' for you.

Why do think I'm
stickin' to the back roads?

Hey, Grogan, there's a
stopped car up ahead.

Get around him.

- 'Oh, no, you don't!'
- Get her back in here.

Anybody spotted that
black sedan? Come back.

Dang! Ain't nobody gonna answer.

Oh, Luke, don't look now.

That ain't the least
of our problems.

We got Rosco and
Cletus back there.

We ain't got no time to
deal with them. Lose 'em.

Cletus, this is your
supreme superior officer

Rosco speakin'.
We got 'em this time.

They're headin' down
Old Telegraph Road.'

Now, you hook a right at
the junction and head 'em off

and I'll take the left.

'Black sedan!'

'Somebody out there must have
seen that black sedan by now.'

'Come back, please.'

Now, ain't that a shame?
Nobody's answerin'.

They don't have any
idea where we are.

'This is wayfarin' stranger.'

'Think I can help
you. Come back.'

Somethin' tells me they're
about to get that idea

you were talkin' about, mister.

Step on it.

Wayfarin' stranger, you're
comin' through loud and proud.

- What you got?
- A black sedan just passed me.

There's a pretty girl in back
who was tryin' to get out.

- What's your ?
- On old Stage Road.

About two miles south
of the railroad cross.

We got you. We're
much obliged! We're gone.

About half a mile from
here as the crow flies.

Hang on, we're
about to sprout wings.

Alright, simmer down. That's
it, simmer down. Now, listen.

We've come to the event
that you've all been waitin' for.

The swimsuit competition.

The majority of the principal
contestants are already here.

So I see no reason why
we just don't begin right now.

J.D., J.D.. Just a minute J.D..

'You can't start
that event, ' yet.

Daisy ain't here.

So what? I mean, she ain't
got much of a chance anyhow.

Alright, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

Folks, er, a correction.

The swimsuit competition
will start in exactly in eight legs.

Minutes!

I couldn't be fairer, could I?

Meanwhile the boys
was cuttin' cross country

after that black sedan.

Rosco and Cletus was
still figurin' on cuttin them off

at the junction. Only
they figured wrong.

Let's get 'em off!

- Oh, no, you don't!
- Hey, what the..

Get back here!

- Alright.
- Nice goin', guys.

We figured you grabbed the keys.

Yup.

There's no use in
bringing in these two dudes.

Boss wouldn't let Rosco
arrest them anyway.

We can get to Boar's Nest in
time for the last competition.

- Come on, let's get going.
- I'll get us there.

You can count on me.

And, now, let's introduce
the first finalist for the crown

of Miss Tri-Counties,
Miss Riverton County!

'There she is, folks,
Miss Riverton County!

That's one down, and one to go.

General Lee better
keep movin' right along.

Alright, Alright, now.
Simmer down, simmer down.

'Because now, we
present our next contestant'

'a gal who, let me
tell you something'

is just about gonna
win the contest.

The one, the only,
Melanie Dubois

'Miss Hatchipee County!'

Hate to tell you this, Cooter,
but time's just about run out.

- Why don't I start a big fight?
- Cooter, you can't do that.

Look, there, the
judges give Miss Dubois

of Hatchipee County
nine points each!

Oh, and that tops the runner
up, Miss Riverton County

by at least four points
or somethin' like that.

Come on, Daisy.

Hey, sounds like that
competition's already started.

As long as they don't
finish without you.

Seein' that there's
no more contestants..

I therefore proclaim
the winner to be...

Boss, hold on!

Daisy!

- The judgin' ain't over yet.
- Oh, yes, it is, it is.

And they ain't gonna
change their minds none.

You've been against me from
the beginnin'. It just ain't fair.

You're out of uniform, you're
supposed to wear a swimsuit.

What do you think this is?

- Yee-haw!
- Yeah! Alright! Come on.

And that's how Daisy Duke
became the first and probably

the last Miss Tri-Counties.

Which meant the -H Club
got the $ she promised 'em.

Big Jim took the $ , back

which threw ol' Boss
into a near terminal shock.

Good news! Good
news, little fat buddy!

Ohh, Rosco's got a surprise.

Which means that he
got hungrier than normal.

'Course Rosco came
to the rescue there.

Sort of.

Ooh!

- Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
- Mmm!

And Daisy won the contest
as a best all-around gal

in three counties.

Gee, I could have
told them that.