05x06 - Big Daddy

[bunniefuu]

Yee-haw!

In Hazzard County, most
folks do all the grocery shopping

once a week at
Rhuebottom's General Store.

And being short of
salt, coffee and flour

that's what the Duke boys
are heading out to do right now.

Vance, you know Cletus and Enos

are waiting around
the bend, don't you?

Yup. And you know
something, Coy?

Them boys deserve
better from us.

What say this time instead
of going around them, we go..

Over them?

Ha ha, I think
they'd appreciate it.

Give them somebody
to look up to.

- Should not.
- Should too.

Should not, needn't have done
it, Cletus. Now, this is wrong.

Sitting in this speed trap,
waiting for somebody to fall in.

That's entrapment.

Not if you got a good reason
to be here, which we have.

What is it?

This is a good place to
keep your fingers flexed

so they'll be in good shape
for writing speed tickets.

- Sure.
- Here comes somebody.

Yee-haw!

- Happy landing.
- Whew!

The Duke boys.

He acted surprised... didn't he?

Sorry, fellas. But I'm gonna
have to ask y'all to pull over.

For what, Enos? We weren't
doing more than miles an hour.

Yeah, but what we wanna
see is your flying license.

Ha ha. You tell 'em, Enos.

What for? I just told them.

Coming up on Hazzard Pond.

Hope y'all didn't forget
to bring your bathing suits.

Watch out, Cletus.

You are losing your touch. We
didn't go in the pond this time.

That's right, we didn't.

We didn't catch
'em either, Cletus.

Over at Boss' house, it
was business as usual.

I'll give you $ and I get
to keep this watch as a sample.

Now, Boss, you said you'd
negotiate with me in good faith.

- Well, so did you.
- Yeah.

Yeah. And on the
other hand, listen.

Take a look at this thing.

This here is an APB teletype
that's come in yesterday

'on the license
plate of your pickup.'

It seems that you were seen
leavin' the scene of the crime.

- Yeah, see, and that's a no-no.
- Yeah. It sure is a no-no.

On account of it
doesn't leave you much

to negotiate with, does it?

How about $ ?

$ and that's my final offer.

But I'll tell you what I'll
do, I'll also throw in a clean

brand-new license
plate for your pickup

so you can skedaddle
out of here scot-free.

Alright, Boss, you win.
When do I get the clean plate?

Well, first, you go get that
hot plate off your pickup, see?

And you give it to the sheriff.

'Then you get yourself
out to my warehouse'

'with all that merchandise,
and the sheriff'

will get out with a clean
plate to you personal.

- You like that?
- Yeah.

- Alright, then. Pickup here?
- Oh, you bet.

Well, go on. Get your hot
plate. Yeah. Get it ready.

There you go.

Uh-uh-uh!

- Use the back door, please.
- Yeah, use the back door.

Listen, Boss. Listen.

Where in the heck am I
gonna get a new license plate?

You know, down at the
Motor Vehicle Department

that takes at least
days there.

Yeah, but this won't
take you minutes.

Now, I had this idea in my head
ever since that APB come in.

The plates you're gonna
get is already on another car.

Already on another
car. Which car?

- I'll give you a clue.
- Little one.

It's an orange car
with a Confederate flag

on the top and
an on the door.

Boy, that's tough.

- The General Lee, I got it.
- Oh, how did you ever guess?

The on the door
gave you away.

I don't care what gave me away.

Now, listen here. What
I want you to do is..

You go out to Jenkins
and get that hot plate

and then you scoot out
with it to the Duke farm

and switch it on
the General, yeah?

And then we can have the Duke
boys arrested for robbery too.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Oh, I love it. I love it.

Where's Uncle Jesse?

He took off for Capitol
City to see Ned Baker.

Sneaking up on
the Dukes ain't easy.

But Rosco's been
doing it for so long

that he's kinda
got the hang of it.

I'll bet he learned that
when he was a rent-a-cop

at that all-night pizza
parlor on Frontage Road.

Looks like one of us
left our little surprise

for Uncle Jesse in theGeneral.

Well, it couldn't have been me.

Alright, I'll get it
this time, Vance.

A token of thanks
from Mr. Rhuebottom

for Vance and me helping
unload the produce truck.

Six pounds of turnip greens.

Get away, goat..

Now, that's a mighty fancy
car heading for Hazzard.

And them wheels ain't ever
been over ground like this.

Who do you reckon's inside?

Now, now, Ernie. Slow down.

We don't wanna get
no speeding ticket.

- Do we?
- No, sir.

Sure don't look
like Hazzard folks.

I've seen that face
somewhere before.

Must have been on
an ad for stuffed shirts.

Listen, he's gonna deliver
those golden doodads..

When Boss found out that
that wanted license plate

was now on the General Lee

he was as happy as a
rat trapped in a corn crib.

Because he'd have
to eat his way out.

I want you get on the horn
and get to Cletus and Enos

and tell 'em to bring
in the Duke boys

on a charge of armed robbery.

Armed robbery?
I love it, I love it.

Cletus. Enos.

Rosco relayed Boss'
orders to Enos and Cletus

who took off to
arrest the Duke boys

which is what they was
supposed to do in the first place.

Cletus and Enos are on
their way out to the Duke farm.

And you're on your way
to unemployment office

if you don't get this
mongrel off my feet!

'Oh, Flash, come on,
now. Go play someplace.'

Go play, darlin'.

- What's this?
- It's a telegram.

Yeah, it's a telegram
addressed to me, you dodo.

What are you doing with it?

Mrs. Tisdale gave
it to me yesterday.

I just forgot to give it to you,
what with me being so busy.

Rosco, this telegram
is from my Big Daddy.

- Your daddy?
- Yeah.

He says he's passing
through Hazzard to visit me

on his way around the world.

- He'll be here today.
- Today?

- At noon.
- Oh.

Now, can y'all imagine
Boss Hogg having a daddy?

Stretches you some, don't it?

Yep, that's Big Daddy Hogg.

Boss' papa.

Guess Boss takes after his mama.

I mean, even
when I was itty-bitty

you know that my mother and me

well, we didn't hardly
ever see him never.

He was always so busy making
other people's lives secure.

Oh, well, you know,
he must have been

one heck of a good salesman.

Oh, he was the best. Yeah.

And then I heard tell, he
went into lots of other deals.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Stock, oil, land.

Everything he
touched turned to gold.

- True Hogg.
- Well, yeah.

And he always said that all of
that would be mine someday.

- Be yours.
- If..

- If?
- If..

Here it comes.

If I turned out to
be just like him.

Honest and lovable.

- Well, it just hit the fan.
- Mm, it sure did.

'Rosco, if my Big Daddy
should ever find out'

that I ain't honest and
lovable just like him

he's gonna cut me
right out of his will.

You mean, your own daddy
would do something like that?

- He sure would.
- Oh.

Rosco, I just gotta find a
way to make my daddy think

that I'm honest
and lovable like him.

Are you kidding?

How are you gonna make him
think anything as impossible as that?

Boss, let's face it, when
you walk down the street

people hiss and boo you.

They don't do it to your
face, they do it to your back.

Well, that's it, that's
it, that's it, Rosco.

I mean, we just got enough
time before he gets here.

What I want you to do..

Rosco's orders was to
thr*aten everybody in town

to show their love and devotion
to their benefactor, Boss Hogg

when his Big Daddy arrived.

Or else ol' Boss was gonna
foreclose on the whole county.

Then you get a big banner
put up in the center of town.

"Everybody loves Boss Hogg!"

Yeah, that's it. Now,
go! Get! Get! Get!

Alright, what did
you boys do now?

- We didn't do anything.
- We never do anything.

Alright, Coy and Vance.

Just get your hands
up, dadgummit.

I hate saying this, fellas,
but y'all are under arrest

on suspicion of armed robbery.

Armed robbery?

That's right, we just
had an APB over the CB

for that license
plate right there.

'Hey, how'd that get on there?'

Wait a minute, this isn't the
General Lee's license plate.

Somebody put that there and
you fellas know it, don't you?

Oh, forget it, Daisy. It's
like shoutin' down a dry hole.

Coy and me are set up tighter
than the skin on a sausage.

Mighty sorry, fellas,
but we got our orders

and y'all are under arrest.

Vance, stand up. Y'all
hold your hands out

'your wrists out
like that, okay?'

Not like that. Like that.

Once we bring you in we'll
get this mess straightened out.

Well, you get
Coy, I'll get Vance.

Hey, ow!

- My turn to drive.
- My turn to drive.

- No, it's my turn to drive.
- No way.

- It's my turn to drive.
- Cletus, that ain't fair.

Cletus!

Get in here. Hurry up.

Who would wanna frame us

for that hot license
plate besides Boss?

- Nobody.
- Well, that narrows it down.

Meanwhile, Boss Hogg's daddy
was getting closer and closer.

Oh, I remember this
road real well, Ernie.

I used to drive it to church
every Sunday with my boys.

- Really?
- Hm.

'I sang in the choir.
Did you know that?'

No, Big Daddy. I didn't.

At the same time,
old Rosco and Boss

were roundin' up
what folks they could

for the rehearsal of that
spontaneous acclaim

they had for Boss.

'If you two will step down
here and grovel a little bit.'

'Thank you, Mr. Hogg, for
my free daily loaf of bread.'

- Oh, don't mention it.
- Now, that was very good.

But I'm glad you did mention it.

Alright, now you
can do your stuff.

Bless you, Mr. Hogg, for
paying all my medical bills.

Oh, that was nice. Now,
if you'll just kiss his hand.

That'll add a little touch.

You kiss it, Rosco! I just
blessed him! Ain't that enough?

- Well, I just...
- Don't you dare!

'This is Hazzard Two, come in.'

'You got your ears on?
This is Deputy Strate talking.'

Enos, this is your
top-dog superior speaking.

What's on your feeble
little mind? Come back.

Sheriff, we got the
Duke boys by the tail.

'but we're having
trouble hanging on.'

'If we're gonna bring them
in, we need some help, sir.'

The Dukes? No! Don't
let 'em bring 'em in.

The last people we want

talking to Big Daddy
when he's in town

are them Dukes.
Don't you know that?

I mean, they're not grovelers.
Who knows what they'd blab?

You mean, you don't want
Coy and Vance Duke in jail?

- Of course, I do.
- Of course, you do.

More than I ever wanted their
snoopy cousins, Bo and Luke.

- But listen, later. You know?
- Later.

After Big Daddy leaves town.

So, you just get on this
thing and tell Cletus and Enos

to cease and desist
on them Duke boys.

I got that.

Cletus, Enos, this is
your superior officer

Rosco P. Coltrane,
speaking again.

That's a big cease and desist
on the pursuit of the Duke boys.

'Did you get that? That's
a cease and desist.'

'Yes, I'm gone.'

I'm hearing it, but
I don't believe it.

I wonder what that's all about.

That makes two of us, cuz.

- Coy, look out!
- Too late now. Hang on.

I don't know what
Coy's got planned

but it sure don't look good.

'Nice driving, partner.'

I wonder why Rosco
called off Cletus and Enos.

Boss told him to, I reckon.

But Boss had us framed real
good with those license plates.

Why let us go?

Maybe, they're
beginning to cotton on to

my charmin' personality.

Yeah. Maybe, he was just
takin' pity on the feeble minded.

Whatever. Let's
get back to the farm.

- Nobody's gonna stop us now.
- Yeah.

Watch it, will you?

Ain't I nervous enough?
I'm shakin' like a leaf.

Don't be nervous.
Be like me, you know?

Listen, I'll take care of you.

I'll hold you up,
little fat buddy.

I just wish I had more
than two hands, you know?

Here he comes.

'Oh, yeah. That's gotta be him.'

- Ain't nobody else but...
- Who?

Big Daddy.

Jefferson, my son.

Big Daddy. My daddy.

Turn 'em over.

When was the last time
you had a manicure?

'And next time, wash them
with soap. Behind your ears, too.'

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.

You haven't changed one little
bit, have you, Big Daddy, sir?

My, my, my. You sure have.

Looks like you have a
mite of trouble pushin' away

from the dining-room table.

Oh, yeah. Well, I
do have an itty-bitty

bit of trouble doing
that, Big Daddy, sir.

See, there's a lot of
him. But we love him.

You know, son, I see
the name J.D. Hogg

on a lot of businesses
around here.

- You must be doin' alright.
- Oh, so I am, Big Daddy.

Yeah, he's loaded.

'As you can plainly see'

I am an outstanding
citizen around here

just like you was in your day.

You might call him the
pillow of the community.

Yeah, I am the pillar
of this community.

He's that too.

Somebody whom
you can be proud of.

Yes, Jefferson. I am
proud. I am very proud.

Rosco, you hear that? My
Big Daddy is proud of me.

He's very proud of me.

Son, why don't you show me
some more of your financial dealings?

- Oh, yeah.
- I am very, very proud of you.

Alright, right over
there, you see..

Why don't you just take it off?

I figure a plate nobody can
read is better than no plate at all.

Any dentist will tell you that.

Hey.

Morning.

What can I do you for?

I could use a fill-up and
a look under the hood.

If it's alright with you,
I'd like to leave it a bit.

- I got business to attend to.
- You got it.

Matter of fact, I see the
man I got business with now.

J.D. Hogg, huh?

Well, good luck.

Breaker One. Breaker
One. Might be crazy

but I ain't dumb. Crazy
Cooter coming at you.

Cooter told the boys about
spotting their license plate

on that fella's pickup and
wondered how that happened.

That's something we'd
like to know ourselves.

Stall him, partner.
We're on our way.

Meanwhile, the last man
Boss wanted to see right now

his partner in crime,
was coming his way.

Excuse me, Big Daddy.

Well, well, well,
Mr. Jenkins. How are you?

'And how's all your family too?'

I'll give you your money
later. Get the heck out of here.

Now, look, Boss, we made
a deal on them watches.

'I want the rest of my money
now like you promised.'

'Don't tell me you went
and pawned your watches?'

Oh, my. No need to, my boy.

Why didn't you tell me
you needed another tractor

for your farm?

- Boss, you gone bananas?
- Absolutely!

Go get yourself all
the bananas you want.

Say, here's, oh, uh, $ .

And you pay me back
whenever you want.

Now get.

Alright, here's $
more, if you get fast.

Okay, Boss. If this
is the way you want it.

- Thanks a lot.
- Goodbye.

He's generous to a fault.

Oh, Jefferson, that
was a lovely gesture.

Imagine, giving all that
money to the needy.

- My, my, my.
- That surprised me too.

Well, thank you, Big Daddy.

Cast your bread upon the water.

- Well, lookie who's here.
- No names.

- How you been?
- Never better.

I didn't know you was
working this territory.

I ain't. We were
just passing through.

I ain't of a suspicious
nature, but things are smelling

a little downwind
from the pig pen.

- Good to see you.
- Yeah, take care, you shear?

You too.

The boys were
cooking pedal to metal.

Firewalling all the way to town.

They was gonna nail that old
boy with that country Cadillac

before he split with
their license plate.

- All set?
- Yes, sir, you're all set.

The oil is fine. It's gonna
run you $ on the gas.

Here's .

I'm gonna have to run
inside to get some change.

Never mind, keep
it. I'm in a hurry.

- It will just take me a second.
- I gotta go.

' "Hazzard loves J.D. Hogg."'

'Well, there ain't nobody loves
J.D. Hogg. Except maybe Lulu.'

What in tarnation is going on?

'Well, would you lookie there.'

There's J.D.'s daddy.

Heh, his daddy's in town.

Uncle Jesse!

What is it, Cooter?

There's a red
and yellow pickup..

Cooter told Jesse about
seeing the General's license plate

on that fella's pickup.

Old Jesse got on the
CB as quick as he could

with ol' Coy and Vance.

'Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
Shepherd to Lost Sheep..'

Vance told Jesse about
Cletus and Enos arresting them

for robbery and then old Boss
mysteriously calling them off.

Well, there ain't no
mystery about that.

J.D.'s daddy's in town.

And he don't want no
trouble with us Dukes.

Well, bless his daddy for
making life easier on us.

Hey, don't celebrate.

The minute his daddy's gone

Boss is gonna be
back down on us.

Unless we find that dude
with our license plates.

Crazy Cooter, y'all. It's a red
and yellow, long-bed pickup.

One dude in it. He was
headed north on Highway .

Thanks, Cooter. We'll handle
all the roads heading north.

And I'll call Daisy.

Vance reached Daisy

and gave her directions
on where she was to go.

And since he didn't send her
to me, well, the chase was on.

Here's some free money for you.

Now Boss, meanwhile,
was givin' out free money

to Hazzard's needy
and poor people

just to show Big
Daddy that his heart

was nearly as big
as the rest of him.

Son, I can't tell you how
thrilled and proud I am

to see one of my
own flesh and blood

continuing the
good Samaritan work

that I always practiced
and believed in.

Thank you, Big Daddy, sir.

I mean, I've thanked
you so many times already

but thank you again.

Thank you. Thank you.

Free money!

Rosco! How dare you?

Ernie, how much would
you guess my son is worth?

- Looks like quite a bundle.
- That's my guess too.

It's a shame I'm gonna have
to do him out of some of it.

But he's your son.

You wouldn't con your
own flesh and blood

with one of our little
schemes, would you?

Oh, Ernie. Ernie.

Blood may be thicker than water,
but money is thicker than blood.

You remember Savannah, ' ?

The old Savannah bait and jive?

Yeah, the old
Savannah bait and jive.

That's how we'll do it.

You figure you'll take his bank?

No. No, Ernie.

Not that much from my son.

Ain't you got no heart?

'Alright, free money! There
you are! Don't hesitate.'

The Dukes was closing
in from all directions

at the same time

up on each other simultaneously.

And that didn't
take long at all.

It never does when you know
all the shortcuts around Hazzard.

Vance, there he is.

He spotted us.

Daisy, we found him. He's
headed in on Chestnut Road.

'See if you can head him
back in our , sugar.'

You got it, cousin.
I'll be right there.

Uncle Jesse, what's your ?

Oh, I'm over here
on Canyon Spring.

I can keep him from turning
off here if you want me to.

Alright. That'll
just about do it.

Easy, fella.

It so happens your pickup
is wearing our license plate.

'We're probably wearing yours.'

You caused us a lot of trouble
switching them for Boss Hogg.

So that's it.

Look, all I know is Boss Hogg
promised me a clean plate.

- Where he got it, I don't know.
- Well, you know now.

Boss had that hot plate
put on your car, not me.

'Then you won't mind coming
with us and repeating that to him.'

You just let me go and
I'll tell you something

that'll get us both
even with Boss Hogg.

We're listening.

I once did time with
his daddy's driver.

A good con man by the
name of Ernie Ashburn.

'If he's driving for Boss Hogg's
daddy, he can't be good either.'

- Deal?
- Interesting, but no deal.

I got our plate
right here, boys.

We'll have it on in
a jiff. Hey, cowboy!

Boy howdy. I'd never
play cards with him.

Uncle Jesse, look out!

- Is everybody okay?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, no harm done.
- I'm alright.

Can't say the same
about the pickup.

She busted an axle
cleaner than Monday's wash.

Well, at least the General's
got his regular license plate back.

Now, Boss can't nail us no
more on that fake robbery charge.

You think that fellow
was telling the truth

about Big Daddy's
driver bein' a con man?

I hope not. We got
enough problem with Boss.

Problems with Boss?

I got a few choice
words for that man

about him trying
to frame you boys.

- Me too.
- Daisy, drive me to town.

'Somebody get a hold
of Cooter about the truck.'

Okay.

The Dukes CB'd ahead for Cooter
to come and tow in the pickup

and headed into town.

Well, I must say.
I am impressed.

I really am, Jefferson

at how much money you
carry around on your person.

Like Big Daddy,
like son. I like that.

You mean you do
too? Just like I do?

Oh, then it runs in the
family, don't it, Big Daddy?

But it must be a bother to
always have to walk over

to the bank every day
just to stock up on cash.

Are you kidding? He doesn't
walk any place he doesn't have to.

You see, he keeps it
all in that safe right there.

Oh, yeah. That's
right. That's right.

I keep a tidbit of
money in my safe.

For itty-bitty expenses.

Did you ever hear
such false modesty?

Tidbit? Itty-bitty?

I've seen at least
$ , in that safe.

Well, Rosco, $ , is
a tidbit to my Big Daddy.

Fifty thousand dollars?

Well, son, if it's safe enough
for your tidbit of $ ,

then it's safe enough
for my tidbit of money too.

Here, take this money belt
and put it with your money

right there in that
safe, till I leave town.

Folks, y'all are now watching

the old Savannah
shuffle, bait and jive.

That's some horse collar,
ain't it? How much is in there?

Fifty thousand dollars.
Just like you, son.

My itty-bitty tidbit.

- Just like my Big Daddy.
- Itty-bitty.

You either turn around
or stuff your ears.

Don't listen to these
here clicks now.

Alright. All of you, hands
up! And no funny business!

Listen here. I am the
sheriff of Hazzard County...

- 'Do it!'
- It's done.

- You too, Big Daddy.
- That's my Big Daddy.

Okay, tubby. Put
everything in the bag.

And the money belt too, fast.

Alright. Everything in the
bag, and the money belt too.

I'll do it, I'll do it.
Just don't sh**t.

Ernie! You can't do this to
me and my flesh and blood.

Now, I've been like a daddy
to you too, all these years.

- Well, I ain't your son.
- Well, I am.

And you can't do this to me.

Shut up and hand it over, tubby.

Here.

Say, you say you
known him a long time?

- He had good references.
- I said, shut up!

Now, all of you, get real
close and face each other.

Face to face!

Now, y'all do well to
take notice right here

that old Cletus
has parked his car

closer than a Saturday night
shave to Big Daddy's limo.

I think it's gonna matter later.

Now, if you gentlemen
will excuse me

it's been real nice
doin' business with you.

Ernie, you can't do this to us.
Come back. You can't do this.

- It's dishonest!
- Don't leave us here!

- Rosco...
- Now, what are we gonna do?

- Don't you know?
- No.

Alright, look, look.
There's an open window.

If we can hop over
there, we can yell for help.

But we gotta do it
together, you know.

As one man, in unison,
all at the same time.

- Together.
- Can you manage that?

Alright. One, two, three, hop!

- Hop! Hop! Hop!
- Hop! Hop! Hop!

You're looking at a chauffeur
who's looking for some wheels.

Bad.

- Hop! Hop!
- Hop! Hop!

- Help!
- Help!

You! Back in the car.
You're in and driving!

- Now, hold it...
- Move it or I start sh**ting.

And you, get back
there with them.

- Easy now. Easy there.
- Move it.

- Do what the man says.
- And nobody try and follow us.

Do, and you'll find your
friend all over the road.

Alright. Take off!

Oh, look, look, look.

'Big Daddy, you see that?'

'That's Vance Duke
in the getaway car.'

The Duke boys must be
in it with your chauffeur.

How did that happen?

I mean, that's a
terrible thing to happen.

Remember what the man said.
Don't let him see you, Daisy.

Uncle Jesse, don't worry.

If he saw us follow him, no
telling what he'd do to Vance.

Let's go, Daisy. Step on it.

- Hop! Hop!
- We got it.

Mr. Hogg, sir?

Uh-huh. I saw that coming.

Look, friend, can't we talk?

You wanna hitch a ride
someplace, just ask me.

Shut up and drive.

Alright. Yeah. Where?
Oh, Enos. Enos.

Cletus. Cletus. Come on.

They're getting
away! Vance Duke!

Boss deputized
everybody in sight

except Flash, to
find the General Lee.

I'm your commanding officer.

Hush a minute. Now, listen.

They're going out .

We'll go to the north
junction and cut 'em off.

- Cut 'em off.
- Alright.

- My turn, Cletus.
- I'll navigate, then.

Enos!

Enos. Cletus. I told you
to cut them off, not me!

- Yes, I'm sorry, sheriff.
- You scuffed my vehicle.

Go back in, sheriff.
You're getting wet.

All clear.

You know, it's real nice having
my own chauffeur for a change.

You're doing real good.

Now, nobody had to
tell Daisy what to do.

She was ahead of the
law and behind the General

just hanging back
easy. Keeping tabs.

Don't you just love her?

Okay, plowboy.
Pull it over right here.

Get out. This is your last stop.

Stealing cars ain't exactly
my ordinary line of work.

But in this case, I have
to make an exception.

'Sorry, kid.'

Hey, you ain't stealing our car.

Now, I know where
he picked that up.

I used to watch Tex Ritter
do that every Saturday.

- Vance!
- Vance!

- Vance, you alright?
- Are you okay?

- Yeah. He got the General.
- Let's go get the varmint.

This Jeep can't
catch the General.

Well, it's long gone anyway.

'And for what it's worth, we
gotta report this to Rosco.'

So let's go back to
town. This time, I'll drive.

- Honey, are you okay?
- I'm okay. Yeah.

I can't wait to get a
hold of those guys.

I can't figure out why
Daddy Hogg's chauffeur

would wanna swipe our car.

Looked like he was running away

and the General was
the first car he saw.

Hey, you're talking
about wanting Rosco.

He's behind us, Uncle Jesse.

'So he is.'

Rosco, Rosco.
This is Jesse Duke.

Listen, we was just on
our way trying to find you.

'Listen. That chauffeur
of Big Daddy's'

he pulled a g*n on us
and stole the General Lee.

Vance was in it.

Listen, who do you think
you're kidding, Jesse?

Not me. Because I saw Vance
Duke drive that getaway vehicle

'after the robbery.
Now, just pull it over.'

Robbery? What robbery?

Listen. Don't be
innocent with me.

I'm talking big bucks here.
That's not nickels and dimes.

It's $ , that they stole
from Big Daddy and Boss Hogg.

Now, pull it over and I mean it.

Now you know why that
chauffeur fella was running.

We need time to think.

Uncle Jesse, can you
lose Rosco in this thing?

Can I lose him? Never ask an
old ridge-runner that question.

Fasten your seatbelts.

Look at that old pro
move that Jeep around.

Don't you know he was
something in a ' Ford?

Now, just about this
time, Boss's Big Daddy

was getting all set to leave

and meet up with his
partner in the scam.

I hate to leave you
at a time like this.

I know.

Now, let's keep it down

to six or seven meals a day.

- I'll try.
- Be a good boy.

- I will.
- Wash behind your ears.

I won't forget.

And please try to remember

how much I love you.

I love you too, Big Daddy.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Goodbye, son.

Thank you for all
you've done for me.

Thank you. Thank you, Big Daddy.

Thank you. Bye.

Goodbye. Drive
careful, now. Bye.

I'm so lucky. I got a
nice daddy like that.

The first thing that Big Daddy
did was to head straight out

to where he had arranged
to meet up with Ernie

after skinning his
little sonny, Boss.

Hold on. I ain't
lost my touch yet.

Enos! Cletus!

He's loose.

Enos, you wrecked our car.

That oughta slow them down.

Now, things was fixing to
come to a head all at once.

Old Cooter was towing Jesse's
pickup back to his garage

and he saw something that
made him kind of suspicious

which in Hazzard
could be a lot of things.

You see, General Lee alone
with no Dukes meant trouble.

Unless they had parked
it and gone fishing.

And the season didn't
open for another week.

Breaker One. Might be
crazy but I ain't dumb.

Crazy Cooter coming at you.

Any of y'all Dukes on the
Hazzard Net? Come on.

Cooter told the Dukes
where he'd seen the General.

But more important

about Big Daddy
meeting up with Ernie.

Thanks, Cooter. We're gone.

So the two of them
are in on it together.

Once a Hogg, always
a Hogg, I guess.

I tell y'all, I can't help
but feel sorry for Boss.

We all do, honey.

Well, I guess
somebody's gotta tell J.D.

and it might as well
be me and right now.

Boss was swagging his
grief by stuffing his belly

when the call from
Jesse came in.

Well, well, well.
Jesse Duke, is it, huh?

Listen, you tell me, where
are them boys of yours

and all that money
they helped steal

from me and my Big Daddy?

J.D., my boys didn't
steal no money from you.

Nor from your
daddy, neither, Boss.

'That's the truth.'

Now, listen, J.D. I hate to
be the one to tell you this

but... well..

I gotta tell you
that you been took

by your own flesh and blood,
namely your own Big Daddy.

What? What? What?

Are you calling my
Big Daddy a crook?

Listen, Jesse Duke, you
watch what you're saying

or I'm gonna sue you
for libel and slander.

One of you talk to him.

We're goin' after
his limo right now

so if you meet us
here, we'll prove it.

I'm gonna come
after you, alright.

But it's to arrest you Dukes

for slandering my Big Daddy
and for stealing our money.

You talk to him.

Makes no mind what you think,
Boss, as long as you're coming.

'Meet us out at
near the river crossroads.'

'And hurry, because
we're losing time.'

Although Boss was speeding
off to prove his daddy innocent

he was having serious
second thoughts.

But friends and neighbors,
the sun rises in the east

rainwater is wet and
Jesse Duke don't lie.

And here comes the Hazzard fuzz

two beats late,
but ever on the job.

There's Boss.

Boss, what are you
doing here? Come back.

Them Dukes just accused
my Big Daddy of being a crook.

So I want them all
arrested for slander.

Ernie, my bones tell me
something's gone amiss.

Them sirens tell
me the same thing.

Hold on, Big Daddy.

Come on, get going
out of here, fast.

Faster, Ernie, faster!

I got it floored, Big Daddy.

Hey, cuz think you can cut
them off past Devil's Ridge?

- Don't see why not.
- Let's see what you can do.

'Yes, ma'am.'

Birds do it, bees do
it, so hang on, y'all.

We're gonna do it too!

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

Forget it, Ernie.

'We've gone as far as
we can go. Just wait here.'

Freeze, right there. I see you.

I got you, didn't I?
Oh, hey, give me that.

'Well, well, well and well.'

'Big Daddy.'

You know, I'll bet you never

was no hotshot insurance
salesman, was you?

Son, I... And I'll
just bet that you

never did earn an honest dollar

in your whole life, did you?

And then you stooped so low
as to swindle me, your own son

out of my hard-earned cash.

Oh, son, I-I don't
blame you for hating me.

Hate you? Hate you?

Oh, Big Daddy, I don't hate you.

I love you.

'I love you. You
showed me my heritage.'

My roots.

Now I know where I come from.

Hallelujah!

You get that many
sneaky Hoggs in a bunch

somebody ought to
build a pen around them.

Oh, son. I love you too.

He-here, here, you
take this. It's yours.

Oh, I know it is.

- Goodbye, son.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Drive carefully, now. Bye, now.

Boss naturally let
Big Daddy off the hook

blood being thicker than water.

Kinfolks and all that roots
kind of stuff, you know.

Besides that, old Boss
got his money back, right?

Wrong.

Wait a minute. There's
missing here.

- Missing?
- Big Daddy, wait!

Wait, wait, wait..

He he he, wouldn't you know.

Big Daddy, this is J.D. Hogg
your son, calling you. Listen.

You shortchanged me bucks.

Do you hear? Do you
hear what I'm saying?

Yeah, I know that, son.

But I got expenses that
need taking care of too.

Don't forget to write, son.

If that ain't just
like my Big Daddy.

Yeah, just sneaky to the core.

You're laughing. I
think you've snapped.

Your only daddy
stealing from you.

Yeah, and I wouldn't
have him any other way.

Now, I don't know about y'all,
but I'm keeping my eyes peeled.

Because Boss stays in Hazzard.

But out there someplace

Big Daddy is running loose.