05x17 - Comrade Duke

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Now, y'all know that a Duke
can drive anything that moves.

And that includes airplanes.

'Cause that's Daisy
Duke up there.

I sure hope she don't
decide to jump somethin'.

Whoo! Looks like ol'
Daisy's doin' alright.

She's only been takin'
lessons for a couple weeks.

I reckon that's what happens
to a girl hooked on flyin'.

And the pilot's
hooked on the girl.

Now, you probably think
that that bus marked C.C.C.P.

is filled with young people

from the County
Conservation Core P.

It ain't. That
C.C.C.P. is Russian.

And it means the Union
of Soviet Socialist Republic.

No, I don't speak Russian.

But I do watch the Olympics.

And inside is a bunch of
young Russian gymnasts.

And them two sour dudes up front

they sure don't look
like coaches to me.

The engine sounds
worse every minute.

For a moment, I didn't think
we'd get over that last incline.

Unfortunately, we'll
have to stop for repairs.

Here, I think. A
place called Hazzard.

Sound like Yankees, don't they?

- 'Easy now.'
- 'Hold her steady, sugar.'

- 'Come on, Daisy.'
- 'Hold her steady.'

Looks like Daisy ain't landin'.

She's jumpin' it.

- 'Not too bad.'
- 'Easy, easy.'

- 'Watch it, watch it.'
- 'Easy.'

Attagirl.

Bring it on in.

That was great.

Whoo!

Darcy.

That was so exciting.

- Hey, it's the Red Baron.
- Welcome back.

What'd you think, fellas?

Well, what we think
ain't important. Ask Darcy.

Landin' looked rough enough
to shake fillings outta his teeth.

No way. It might've
been a little shaky

but by and large,
Daisy's ready to solo.

That's 'cause I've the
best flight instructor

in all of Hazzard.

- Not to mention the only one.
- Well, that's true.

Well, same time tomorrow, Daisy?

Well, only if you finish
your crop dusting first.

I wouldn't wanna be responsible
for all those boll weevils

getting a head start
on all the cotton patches

in Hazzard County or anything.

- Bye, Darcy.
- Bye.

Sounds to me like
she's playin' hard to get.

Now, there is some kinda lady.

Alright, you can k*ll it.

Your timin's a little skosh
off. Ain't no problem.

Oh, I'm so relieved.

I was beginning to
think my young gymnasts

would be late for a meet
in Atlanta this evening.

Oh, gymnasts, uh? You
mean like, uh, parallel bars

and tumblin', flippin'
around on mats?

Yes.

Well, I swear.

This'll take me a half hour

why don't y'all take a
little tour of the town.

I'm sorry, but that
will not be possible.

Uh, what my colleague means,
is it probably would be best

if they stayed on the
bus to rest for the meet.

Well, I reckon you know best.

Y'all excuse me a minute.

'Hey, General sounding
good. Hey, Daisy.'

- Hey, Cooter.
- How y'all doing?

Great. Looks like you got
some out-of-town business here.

Oh, yeah. You know me. I
got a worldwide reputation.

Has to be.

You put that new radiator
in Uncle Jesse's pickup, yet?

Put it in?

Uncle Jesse could drive
across the Sahara Desert

flat out and that thing ain't
gonna overheat on him.

- 'You want me to write it up?'
- 'Jesse would have a fit.'

- Anybody got any cash?
- Right here.

You come with me,
and I'll gladly take it.

Alright. See ya.

Alright and okay.
We'll see y'all.

Tell Uncle Jesse hey, and
I appreciate the business.

You got it. See you
back at the farm.

- Alright.
- Y'all behave now.

We'll try.

'Cooter, thank
you. Bye-bye now.'

Now, friends and neighbors,
you're witnessinga potential

international incident.

And 'em Yankee-soundin'
boys ain't gonna be amused.

Things are warmin'
up in Hazzard County.

Coy, what's under the tarp
in Uncle Jesse's pickup?

- 'Nothin', but another tarp.'
- Then both of 'em are movin'.

'Hey, Vance, I think
you better pull over.'

There's somethin' alive
in the back of the pickup.

Read you loud and clear, Daisy.

- Let's see what we got here.
- Yeah.

Oh, please. I meant no wrong.

But when I saw the
truck next to the bus

I knew it was my last
chance for escape.

Escape from who?

You don't look the type
to be runnin' from law.

No, I meant, those
men by the bus.

They watch every move
we make. If they knew..

My name is Natasha. I am..

I was member of my
country's gymnastic team.

I thought those
letters looked familiar.

Come here, doll. Let
me help you down.

My name is Vance Duke and
this here's my cousin Daisy.

- Hi.
- And Coy.

Hi.

I'm happy to make
your acquaintance.

E-everyone's acquaintance.

But I cannot stay here. If
they were to find me now..

In other words,
you're defecting.

That is up to you. If
you were to turn me in..

Honey, we won't turn you in.

We'll take you to the farm and
introduce you to Uncle Jesse.

We'll talk this over and
figure out what we're gonna do.

Oh, but I-I cannot involve
your family in my troubles.

Let's talk about it on the way
back to the farm. Come on.

Hey, you sure you don't want
me to drive her back there?

It's alright.

Coy Duke.

Such a pretty name.

Natasha. Such a beautiful girl.

Come on.

Romeo and Juliet.

Here's $ for the
repairs and $ more

to show you my appreciation.

Now, you hang on to that.
I appreciate the thought.

Sometimes, I don't think I
will ever understand America.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, y'all. Take it easy.

Good luck at that
gym meet y'all.

- Someone is missing.
- Are you sure?

- Take the count again.
- I already have.

I'm afraid, it is Natasha.

Natasha? Of course.

According to her dossier, she
has relatives in this country.

Reason enough for her to defect.

We cannot permit this to happen.

Driver, return to
Hazzard at once.

- 'Yes, sir.'
- Question the others.

I will call the consulate
on the scramble phone.

Remember, time
is of the essence.

Get the men here
as quickly as possible.

'We must mount a search
before she gets too far away.'

The rest of you will proceed
to Atlanta without delay.

Say nothing of
what has happened.

Sergei, come with me.

Don't tell me she's actin'
up on you again, huh?

No, no, no, we
inadvertently left

a young lady gymnast behind.

Five foot tall, brunette,
quite attractive.

Ain't seen her around here.

Perhaps we should
report her disappearance

to the local authorities.

Well, you can find 'em
right across the street

there at the county courthouse.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hold everything,
Mr. Boar, uh, Boor, uh...

Borov.

Mr. B, say you gotta
fly that by me again.

You say you turned your
back for an itty-bitty little minute

and then that gal defected?

Uh, we prefer to think
she simply wandered away

completely enamored of
the beautiful countryside.

Oh, enamored. See,
that's the worst kind.

What's enamored?

In this case, carried
away, confused.

Oh, yeah. That too.

These are critical
times, Mr. Hogg.

And as the authority if you
refuse to help us find the girl

it could lead to very
serious repercussions.

- A-ah!
- Oh!

'Serious repercussions?'

'But of course,
if you do help us'

it would be considered a
magnificent gesture of detente

'at a crucial moment
of world history.'

'A-ah! Crucial moment?'

A hand across the waters.

A bridge between East and West.

Oh, I'd be building
bridges, huh?

- Oh, did you hear that, Rosco?
- What?

I could be a hero.

Yeah, I might even win
me the Nobel Peace Prize.

- 'What do I get?'
- You get to turn the pages.

When I give my speech
at the United Nations.

'Yeah, which ain't gonna
happen unless we find that girl.'

Uh, was anybody else
hangin' around Cooter's garage

while that bus was being fixed?

There were two men
and a girl in an orange car.

One of them drove
off in a pickup truck.

Orange car. I knew it, I
knew it. It's them Dukes.

They are the ones
behind all this. Right?

Yeah, they sure have, and I
bet they got that gal hidden.

Come on, Rosco.
Let's get to that farm.

I sure don't want no
Dukes cheatin' me

out of no Nobel Peace Prize.

- No.
- Come on now, boys.

'Then, I dropped out of the
bus window and hid in the truck.'

You know the rest.

That took a lot of courage
for you to do that, sweetheart.

It's behind you now
though, Natasha.

From here on out, you're
gonna have clear sailing.

What would you like in your tea?
Uh, we got milk, sugar or lemon.

Oh, at home, we drink from
a glass through a sugar cube.

'Oh, but I will learn
the American way.'

Oh, you've got a lot to
learn about Americans.

Like everybody else who'd
come here before you.

What an adventure. I
kind of envy you in a way.

Of course, it'd be easier
if you had close friends

or kinfolks nearby.

Kinfolk? I do not
understand the word.

Means family.

Whether they're living
together like us and Uncle Jesse

or scattered every which way.

- Oh! Then, I do have kinfolk.
- You do?

Hm, my mother's
cousin in Detroit.

When I was a child, mother
used to read me her letters.

She always hoped our family
would follow her to America.

And since I'm the only one
left, I know she will take me in.

Then, you ain't got
nothin' to worry about.

'Alright, you Dukes.
We know you're in there.'

'And we know what you're
up to. Now, just listen.'

You hand that foreign
female over to me

before I have y'all
arrested for kidnappin'.

J.D. You might know he'd
have his fat finger in this thing.

He's gonna get them b*rned
this time. Come on, Coy.

- Let's get Natasha out.
- I've caused enough trouble.

- I must surrender.
- Not while I'm around.

We gotta get you
out of here. Come on.

Come on, let's shake it.

Ah, they're running away
with my Nobel Peace Prize.

'Oh, listen, don't you worry'

'your little chrome
dome, fat buddy.'

'Listen, nobody escapes
Rosco P. Coltrane.'

They are coming after us.

Don't worry. Vance
will shake 'em.

Well, that little Russian is
getting herself an education.

'Cause she's looking at the

Hazzard County
version of "Jaws."

Hit the brakes. Hit the brakes.

- What..
- A-a-ah!

Friends, them
Russkies are good stock.

He just lost half
of this here car.

Not to mention the
Dukes and that defector.

'Sorry about that,
Mr. B. Yeah. You alright?'

'Well, at least, nobody's hurt.
We ain't out of the woods yet.'

They got a backup car up
behind the sheriff's station.

No use taking any
chances. Call Uncle Jesse.

Tell him to meet us at
Morgan's Hollow when it's safe.

I am amazed.

Does everyone in your
country drive this way?

Nope. Just most folks in
Hazzard. How about your country?

No one drives that
way in my country.

But then no one has car.

'Everything is ready.'

'But cutting off communication
between Hazzard'

and the rest of the world,
it could bring the state

or even the federal
authorities to investigate.

We cannot risk their
calling out for help.

Well, it certainly looks like
the Dukes are up against

some right smart
opposition this time.

Of course, them Russians ain't
never been in Hazzard before.

Natasha, are you alright?

Oh, a little less
frightened perhaps.

- But I feel so guilty.
- Why?

Because of me, now all of
you are in trouble with the police.

You mean Rosco? We're
always in trouble with him.

Only this time, it sure
is gonna be worth it.

What's goin' on in the
outside world, Uncle Jesse?

Well, it seems there's a couple
of foreigners beatin' the bushes

lookin' for a very
desperate female criminal.

Well, lookin' and findin'
are two different things.

Not to Borov and Androvich.

They will not sleep,
till they find me.

Don't you worry, sugar.

It's gonna be a
long way to bedtime.

From what I've read, when
somebody wants to defect

they usually turn themselves
in, the police take it from there.

We know that doesn't
hold in Hazzard.

We'll have to figure
out another way.

Well, we could drive her
to the FBI over in Atlanta.

And then she
could hide out there

while waiting for asylum
from the US of A Government.

As long as they don't
catch us before we get there.

You're right. It'd probably
be safer to call the FBI.

Have 'em send someone
down here to pick Natasha up.

And as long as we're waitin'

it'll give us time to
know each other better.

Oh, I would like that.

- Very much.
- 'Alright then, it's settled.'

There's a phone box
half mile down the road.

Well, it seems like your
problems are about settled.

I got a farm that
won't give me rest.

I'd better get to
takin' care of it.

Thank you, Dada Jesse.

Dada?

You gonna come along?

And miss out on all the
excitement, Uncle Jesse?

No, I'll stay and
keep Vance company

while these two get
better acquainted.

- I'll see you.
- Bye-bye.

'See ya.'

- Good luck, sugar.
- Be right back.

Phone's dead.

Reckon it's out of order.
There's a line down.

'Coy, I'm frightened.'

Nothing to worry about. It
happens all the time here.

Then, what are we
going to do now?

Drive into town and
call the FBI from there.

What if we are seen by
the sheriff or the others?

I ain't gonna let
anythin' happen to you.

Now, you believe
that, don't you?

Yes, Coy, I believe you.

'Drive into town the back way.'

Use the phone at
Cooter's garage. Come on.

Long about now,
Borov's boys showed up

from the Soviet
delegation in Atlanta.

This wasn't their first time
tracking a defector either.

'In addition to the road maps'

'and portable
communication equipment'

we will also require two more
cars to conduct the search.

Two more?

Listen, I ain't even
charging you any rental fees

for them cars you already got.

Money is no object. We
will pay whatever you ask.

Hear that, Boss?

He's givin' you
a license to steal.

Yeah, and I never
needed no license.

How do you think I
got to where I'm today?

'Okay, boys, the deal's on.'

I'll have two of the fastest
cars of my used car lot

sent up here for your
boys and meanwhile

'Enos can start huntin' for
that girl with them other two'

and along with you,
Mr. Andrich, uh, Andricha, Andro...

- Androvich.
- Yeah. Along with Mr. A. here.

Thank you, Mr. Hogg.

Between our men, we can seal
off every road out of Hazzard.

That's right.

And you'll get everything you
deserve for your assistance.

Oh, ho-ho-ho.

- Did you hear that, Rosco?
- Everything we deserve.

Listen, who knows..

Maybe later on, I can start
doing business with his country.

Yeah. Maybe we can even
set up the "grits connection."

Huh?

Poor old Enos found
himself in the middle as usual.

Havin' to follow Boss'
orders to find that girl

when his heart
wasn't really in it.

Of course, them Russians
had their problems, too.

Their English wasn't too
good. Well, neither was Enos'.

Followin' Rosco's orders,
Enos and the others split up

so they could have a better
chance of findin' General Lee

while the Dukes were
headed back to Cooter's

to make that phone
call to the FBI.

Then at , I was chosen
to live at the academy.

Since then, gymnastics
has been my entire life.

Day in, day out. Years on end.

You make it sound
like a prison sentence.

Oh, no, I loved
every minute of it

for the first few years,
but as I got older

my training became
more demanding.

Perhaps, it was selfish
of me, but I found myself

envying less fortunate girls

who had freedom to
choose their own friends

and form their
own relationships.

You mean to meet
someone special?

Maybe even fall in love?

Well, I've never
admitted that to anyone.

Perhaps, not even to myself.

Well, sugar, you sure
came to the right country.

I'm tellin' you once you get
yourself all squared away

the men are gonna be flockin'
to you like bears to a honeypot.

And from the look
on my partner's face

he's gonna be shovin'
those bears out of the way.

- That's cute.
- 'Enos headed straight at us!'

'Not for long.'

I don't know whether he's
tryin' to catch us or warn us.

Probably both. Usin' that
siren he's still goin' by the book.

I bet he knew we'd hear it in
plenty of time to change course.

This is Hazzard two callin'
Comrade number two. Come in.

'This is Androvich. Proceed.'

'If y'all where you
supposed to be, it's my duty'

to tell you to hang a
at the intersection.

You want me to hang who?

That means take a sharp right
turn and keep your eyes open.

I'm gone.

How could he be gone
when he was never here?

I don't know about y'all,
but I didn't understand

either one of them.

So this must be Comrade two
that Enos was just talking to.

Then, we are
caught between them.

Not yet, we ain't. Hold on.

If we can get back to
the crossroad before Enos

we just might be able
to squeeze through.

Hang on.

You know, after seein' that,
them Russians just might forget

about the girl and try
to kidnap the General.

'I'm sorry. Is
everybody alright?'

- Looks like they're alright.
- 'You sure, you're okay, sir?'

'Well, I didn't
mean to hit you all.'

Be right with you.

Well, hey. Wait. Don't tell me.

This has got to be
the dangerous criminal

that Boss Hogg has
everybody looking for.

Otherwise, you wouldn't
have snuck in the back door.

Vance's got the General
parked in the alley just in case.

Natasha, Cooter Davenport,
a good buddy of ours.

- Hi.
- How do you do?

Well, I'm hangin' in
there. How about yourself?

How'd you get in
such big trouble?

It's just why we gotta make
this call here. Excuse me.

Hello, Gussie? Coy Duke.

Listen, could you put me through
to the FBI's office in Atlanta?

Wait a minute, you sure?

Well, thanks anyway.

None of the lines out
of Hazzard are workin'.

One inoperative phone could
be an accident, but not all.

- Right.
- We gotta make tracks fast.

I'm here. Holler if you need me.

- You got it.
- Nice meetin' you, ma'am.

All the phone lines outside
of Hazzard have been cut.

Oh, great. That's
probably Borov's doin'.

If he's desperate, he's probably
got the roads staked out too.

And the bus depots.

Maybe, we can't get
past Borov and his friends.

But that don't mean
we can't go over 'em.

- You mean fly her out?
- Why not?

In Darcy's crop duster?

- You can get him to do that?
- Does syrup go with hotcakes?

Sure I can. Let me
see if he's out here.

Grasshopper? This is Bo Peep.
Are you out there? Grasshopper?

This is Pete's airfield.
Can I help you?

Yeah, hi, Pete. I gotta talk
to Darcy. It's real important.

- Sorry, he's out dustin'.
- How soon will he be back?

Well, he's got three farms
to do. A couple three hours.

Alright. Thanks, Pete.
I'll get back to you.

Well, what do we do now?

It's a cinch. We can't
stay here in town.

We'd stick out like sore
thumbs hangin' around.

We've to find a place to hole
up until we can get in touch

with ol' Darcy, and
work these things out.

See, just like I promised.
They ought to go pretty good

and the keys are
right inside, Mr. B.

Everythin' will be fine.

Alright. Now, you, come on.
We gotta go, too. Come on.

You look at those two.

They've been talkin' up a
storm for the last half hour

and haven't come up for air.

And that is what you became
before you returned to the farm?

- An automobile test driver?
- That's right.

In my country, such choices
are seldom left to the individual.

Then, I'm sure glad
you're in my country.

For a lot of reasons.

I'm sorry. I guess
I'm comin' on too fast.

Oh, no. It isn't
that. It's just that..

Everything is so new to me.

The freedom, the decisions.

Where will I live? How
will I support myself?

Why don't you marry
a good ol' country boy

and solve both problems
at the same time?

Now, I know you are teasing me.

Perhaps I could
become a translator

or maybe even a
gymnastics teacher.

Become a teacher and then
I can become your assistant.

As a matter of fact, watch this.

Hm, of course,
it's been a while.

- Oh! Very good.
- We have a lot in common.

I guess that's what they call
"Courting gymnastics style."

- Now, it's my turn.
- All yours.

That was great.

I didn't expect you
back for a couple hours.

Yeah, well, the spray
valve's stuck again.

- I'll get workin' on it.
- Alright.

Oh, yeah. Incidentally, uh,
your favorite pupil called.

- Daisy?
- Said it was important.

Bo Peep.

This here's your ever
loving grasshopper.

Hold on, sugar. Better
stay off that thing.

Some unfriendly
ears might be listenin'.

- Well, what do we do now?
- Nothin'. Maybe he'll go away.

The suspense is killin'
me. You out there or not?

'In case anybody out
there runs across Daisy'

tell her to come to the airport.
I'll be waitin' with bells on.

Smart girl. She's not answering.

Dang it! If anybody's
listenin', we're in big trouble.

Not if we get to that airfield
first and Darcy's still waitin'.

- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.

They must intend to fly
Natasha out of Hazzard airfield.

Here it is. Turn
right at the next road.

We must stop them.

- Wait a minute.
- What?

This ain't the
way to the airport.

No, listen. You know
what we're gonna do?

- What?
- We're gonna take a shortcut.

'Bird brain!'

O-oh! O-oh!

'Oh, no.'

- You know what, Boss?
- What?

- We're stuck.
- Oh, we are?

Oh, well, thank you
for that information.

Well, unstuck us, will you?

Or else the next
vehicle you'll be drivin'

will be a dogsled in Siberia.

- Get us out of here.
- I'm tryin'.

With General Lee
charging like man-o'-w*r

heading into the home stretch

it didn't take too long to
reach the Hazzard airfield.

Okay.

Ready? There she is, Natasha.

Your one-way ticket to the
State Department in Atlanta.

Well, I reckon this is it.

It's so strange.

We've only known each
other a few hours, but..

I wish it would have been more.

I know. I feel the same way.

Sometimes, folks
ought to be grateful

for the gifts they
receive in life.

That gift is you.

I have so much
to be grateful for.

To you and the others that..

Come on, we better get goin'

before we never
get you outta here.

Darcy, I've something very
important to ask you. Natasha...

Them commies sure got gumption.

Stay where you are.

They just think they
captured Hazzard County.

What would they
do with it, if they did?

Wise decision, Mr. Duke.

I'm disappointed
in you, Natasha.

You should have known better.

Uh, hang on, folks. The
Dukes just took on the K.G.B.

That will be enough
of your friends' heroics.

Oh, please, do as he says.

It would be foolish
of you to resist now.

Vance.

Let's see how Darcy is.

Is he okay?

Well, his pulse is kind of weak.
And feel this bump on his head.

It's a nasty one. We better
get him to the hospital.

Let's change that tire fast.
You stay here with him.

Oh, sweetheart.

I don't mean no disrespect,
Mr. Borov, but I don't think

you got a legal right to
make me lock her up, sir.

Well, that's right.
You don't, but I have.

See, you heard the boss, Enos.

Now, fling that little
filly in that slammer.

On what charges, sheriff?

Well, she jumped
the bus, didn't she?

Now, I call that illegal
immigration to the U.S. of A.

If you say so, Mr. Hogg.

Fortunately, you'll not
have to be here too long.

We'll transfer you
to the consulate

'as soon as necessary
arrangements are made.'

In the meantime, I want
you to make this little lady

as comfortable as possible.

- Yeah.
- Give her anything she wants.

- Yeah.
- She's our guest after all.

Say, Mr. B, now that I've got
you here, you know somethin'?

Most people can't tell
the difference between

good vodka and bad moonshine.

I got me a whole mess of bad
moonshine in my warehouse.

If I change 'em labels a bit
and shipped it to your country

would your commissars
make me a good deal

if you told them we're friends..

Please, miss. Please,
don't cry, ma'am.

With the Dukes on your side

maybe things ain't
as bad as they seem.

Thank you for your kindness.

I only hope you're right.

Shucks.

Possum on a gum bush, ma'am.
They are the Dukes, ain't they?

Daisy was about to tell
'em they lost their last option

of gettin' Natasha
out of Hazzard.

Well, he's got a bad concussion,
but he's gonna come out of it.

Sure am glad to hear that.

The doctor's gonna keep
him here for a couple of days.

Just in case, for observation.

That means we've to change
our plans about rescuin' Natasha.

- Yep.
- 'Lost Sheep from Deputy One.'

'I sure hope, you fellas
are listenin'. Come back.'

- We got you, Enos. Come back.
- Listen, I can't talk now.

I need to see y'all
in a real big hurry.

'Maybe Uncle Jesse, too.'

It's about a certain
new friend of yours.

Natasha. You got it, Enos.

You meet us in half hour at the
place we had lunch last Friday.

- Thanks, Vance. I'm gone.
- Think he'll remember where?

He ought to. It
was his turn to pay.

'Them foreign fellas got 'em
twisted around their fingers.'

I'm so betwixt and between.
I don't know what to do.

That's something you're gonna
have to work out for yourself.

I can tell you this, Mr. Borov
is fixin' to ship her back

to the consulate in Atlanta
at o'clock this afternoon.

How did they
figure on doing that?

They're gonna use that
black limo as a decoy.

While y'all chasin' it,
Mr. Androvich will be drivin'

her and Mr. Borov
off in my patrol car.

- What about Boss and Rosco?
- They'll follow in Hazzard one.

'Other fellas would be ridin'
shotgun in the other cars.'

I daren't tell you anymore.

I guess y'all know I
love you very much.

But if y'all gonna help
that girl, don't tell me how.

'Cause I'd be duty
bound to try and stop y'all.

- Poor ol' Enos.
- Poor Natasha.

If it hadn't been
for those fellas

we'd have got her out hours ago.

It may not be too late.

We still got that crop duster.

Last I heard, that pilot's still
hearin' bells that don't ring.

Well, Daisy ain't.

He said, she was just
about ready to solo.

Wish I could be as sure as him.

'How am I gonna fly
Natasha out of here'

when she's hemmed in
like a sardine in a can?

Hold on. Not if we find a
big enough can opener.

'And I think I just have.'

'Cooter, how long would it
take you to weld that grip'

around the side of
Uncle Jesse's pickup?

About an hour.

Alright. I think, that
just about does it.

That is, if you really
are ready to solo, sugar.

Looks like they're all
set. Alright, come on.

Come on, come on.

At o'clock on the button

Borov left Hazzard with Natasha.

And there wasn't a sign
of the Dukes or Cooter.

The decoy limousine
separated from the convoy

hoping to draw off the Dukes.

But old Cooter was
bird-dogging and spotted the ruse.

That is, uh, he saw it.

'Them ol' boys got a
surprise comin' to them.'

They're playin' our
song, Uncle Jesse.

They're playin' it slow enough
for Vance to join right in.

Yeah, we got you, Cooter.

It's up to you to let the first
car go through and then do it.

- Yes, sir.
- Good luck, buddy.

You too.

Look, look, look.
There's Vance Duke.

What's he doing with
blades on his truck?

Well, it's a cinch he ain't
gonna give nobody a shave.

Young fool. He's
trying to cut us apart.

'I cannot even go
round the other car.'

Call up the reserve
cars to assist us. Quickly.

Pull it.

Get it?

Okay, Daisy. Bring
in the Air Force.

'You got it, honey.'

Look out. There's two cars
comin' up from behind you.

'And they're movin' up fast.'

'Don't worry. I've got an idea.'

Now, friends and
neighbors, them Russians

is gettin' a heck of a lesson

in down-home civil disobedience.

Cooter, we're goin' in.

I think it's about time I
took these jokers out.

Uh!

Jump up and grab
the rope. Attagirl.

Switch sides with me.

Easy now.

Get ready. Here she comes.

Hold her steady.

Doggone it.

Okay, Uncle Jesse,
I'm comin' around, again.

'Slow down just a
little bit more for me.'

Hang on tight, sweetheart.

'Bye, Natasha.'

Well, you're lookin' at two men

who are lookin' straight
into the face of Siberia.

That's some kind of climb.

All the way to Atlanta
and clean out of my life.

Maybe out of your
life, maybe not.

She's never gonna forget
what you done for her.

It means she's gonna be thinkin'
about you every once in a while

for a long, long time.

And that's how the U.S.
of A gained a future citizen

the hard way.

Thank you very much.

Well, Boss had to
forget all about winnin'

the Nobel Peace Prize
and the "grits connection."

But he took it like a man.

Never did find out what
happened to 'em two Russkies.

But I sure do hope they
got some warm overcoats.

Darcy got a thank
you kiss from Daisy

that just went on and on.

Well, maybe it's just as
well she didn't stay, Coy.

You know that old sayin'.

"East is East and
South is South."

And somewhere in the
Kremlin, somebody is writin' up

the goddangest report
on a place called Hazzard.

And what they don't
know is that nothin' really

much unusual happened
for Hazzard County.