03x02 - Adios, El Cuchillo

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Zorro". Aired: October 10, 1957 –; July 2, 1959.*
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Series is set in Los Angeles of the early nineteenth century, when it was part of the old Spanish California, where the people are oppressed by their rulers.
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03x02 - Adios, El Cuchillo

Post by bunniefuu »

NARRATOR: And now, your
Disneyland host, Walt Disney.

Of all the lawless men whose
evil plans were opposed by Zorro,

one of his most
worthy adversaries,

so the story goes,
was El Cuchillo.

A light-hearted rogue,

a swashbuckler with a
flashing smile for a pretty girl,

El Cuchillo was an opponent
well-suited to test Zorro's mettle.

He was a splendid horseman
and an expert swordsman.

When he crossed
blades with Zorro,

he gave as good as he received.

Our last program showed you the first
meeting between these two antagonists.

You saw how Zorro foiled
the wily bandido's plan

to steal a shipment of silver.

And you heard Zorro's
warning to El Cuchillo.

You're out of Los
Angeles, Cuchillo.

Now stay out!

DISNEY: And you heard
El Cuchillo's answer.

No, Chato!

El Cuchillo does not
sh**t a man in the back.

Now, for the rest of this exciting
adventure that pits the debonair

El Cuchillo against
the audacious Zorro.

Its title, "Adios, El Cuchillo."

Carancho, Trumpa.

We got to get some money.

We get it tonight.

Now remember.

(SHUSHING)

Quiet! Andale! Vayanse.

You go with me, Chato.

(DOOR RATTLING)

What is there to
steal here, Cuchillo?

Here. Fix this.

We must admit one thing.
Zorro does a neat job.

Zorro is a good
man with a sword.

Very good!

I'd like to get him once, just once,
where he can't get away from me.

Yeah, I've got to find
some... Some conchos.

Well, go and find them.

(EXCLAIMS)

(CHUCKLING) I found the conchos!

I found them! Look how
many I found! Let's go.

Sew them on.

What, now? Now.

But everybody
else is out stealing!

You'll get your share no matter
who steals it. Go on, sew them on!

Somehow it's not the same.

(RUSTLING)

Zorro!

(BANDITS GRUNTING)

Zorro's getting away!

Never mind Zorro! Get the money!

He threw it over the wall!

Where is it?

(COINS CLINKING)

How you doing?

Oh, don't worry. It's
going to look real good.

What's the matter?

(SCOFFS) Come on,
come on, hurry up! Come on!

(LAUGHS) Look at this lock!

I think I've found something!

Ah! Yeah!

Here's another one!

Is that all?

No.

There. Alllo?

These are not the same conchos,
but they will do. No one will notice.

(LAUGHING) Hey, a pretty
good job, eh? Not a wrinkle.

What's the matter?
What's happened, Cuchillo?

I fixed your
jacket, now let's go!

GARCIA: Hup two,
hup two, hup two,

hup two, hup two,
hup two, hup two.

CHATO: Now, how can we
trust in the... What's up? Cuchillo!

What's happening?

Hup two, hup two,
hup two, three, four!

GARCIA: Hup two, hup
two, hup two, three, four!

Hup two, hup two, hup two,
hup two, hup two, three, four!

Hup two, three, four! Hup
two, hup two, hup two, hup two...

Oh, no!

Back to the tailor shop!

Will you stop chewing on the
cigar? You get me more hungry.

Buenas tardes.

Oh, Don Diego.

Chulita, don't move.

Look, I want you to see this.

Isn't that beautiful?

The subject is beautiful.
The drawing is excellent.

(LAUGHS)

There, Chulita,
it is all finished.

Now you go in the kitchen and do
what you're supposed to be doing.

Don Diego, let me say again how
much I enjoyed last night at your hacienda.

I can assure you, Chulita,
you did not enjoy last night

one half as much as I did.

(EXCLAIMS) Well,
perhaps I may visit again?

I think I'll hold you to that.

Oye! Oye! You go and
wait on the customers.

What customers? You and your
friends have not ordered a thing all day!

Well, I'm ordering now.

Bring a lot of wine
and food for everybody.

Oh, no, no, no!
Senor Pachaco told me

not to take any orders from you
unless you give me the money first.

Well, you tell Senor Pachaco
I'll pay him tomorrow, huh?

(SIGHS) He's going
to hate me all day.

Sit down, Diego.

With pleasure.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm afraid you'll find me a
very difficult subject, please.

Hold still.

Diego, how long have
you been in Los Angeles?

Well, except for six years
in Spain, all my life. Why?

Then you must know
everybody in Los Angeles, huh?

A great many, but
not everyone. Why?

I'm interested in one man,

Zorro.

Zorro?

You know, the bandido.
If you can call him that.

That's what he's been called.

You must have thought
about it one time or another.

Have you any idea who he is?

Now, what makes you think
that I would know who Zorro is?

Zorro must have
another identity.

He can't hide behind
a mask all the time.

You're right. He can't.

Well? Who is he?

You seem to be very concerned.

May I ask why?

I don't think Los Angeles is big
enough for Zorro and El Cuchillo.

Oh?

What do you mean, "Oh?"

Nothing. For a moment, I thought
I detected a personal grudge,

but then I remembered that,
according to Sergeant Garcia,

Zorro has been seen
only once since your arrival.

And at that time he
was fighting bandidos.

It is personal.

Besides, I like Los Angeles
and I would like to do something

for this beautiful
little pueblo.

(ALL CLAMORING)

CHULITA: This is for Cuchillo!

Buenas tardes, Don
Diego, Senor Cuchillo.

Sergeant Garcia.

You sent for me, Don Diego?

It will keep, Sergeant.

What are you doing,
Senor Cuchillo? Drawing?

CUCHILLO: Uh-huh.

GARCIA: I would like
to see it. May I, please?

It might interest you, gordito.

(BERNARDO EXCLAIMS)

(CARANCHO GRUNTS)

You clumsy fool!

It was an accident, Senor.

It was his last one.

He is my servant, and I am
responsible for his actions.

It's all right with me, Senor.

But Don Diego is not armed!

He is now.

(EXCLAIMS)

(CARANCHO GRUNTS)

Don Diego!

Sergeant, may I use
your office to clean up?

Certainly. Permiso?

(INDISTINCT)

(EXCLAIMS) My picture!

How you fought, Don
Diego! I was amazed!

Well, I don't think "fought" is
exactly the right word, Sergeant. I...

I was mainly interested
in keeping out of his way.

Well, if you had kept out of his way
any harder, you might have k*lled him!

Oh, Sergeant
Garcia, Don Diego, I...

Hey! What has happened here?

My food! My furniture!

Please, put it on my bill.

Certainly, Don Diego.

That won't be necessary.
I'll take care of the innkeeper.

I'd rather have Don Diego.

Who would think that de la
Vega could handle Carancho?

There may be a lot more about
Diego de la Vega that we don't know.

I see you still have
your prisoners, Sergeant.

They leave for
Monterey in the morning.

I will be glad to be rid of
that Vibora. He is a mean one.

You know, Sergeant, I'm surprised
that no attempt has been made

to rescue those bandidos.

Who is there to rescue them?

Well, Sergeant, I still believe
they are part of a larger group

that is still in Los Angeles.

Don Diego, there
were four bandidos

who attempted
to steal the silver.

I captured three of them.
One of them got away.

Now, I know that you have been
trying to tell me that Senor Cuchillo

and his men are these bandidos.

Well, they are.

You yourself have
proved that they are not.

Last night when the
tavern was robbed,

El Cuchillo and all his men
were guests at your hacienda.

And today... Today, I
find you seated at his table.

Now, Don Diego, I am not
saying that you and El Cuchillo

are having difficulties,
but leave me out of it.

Please?

Well, adios, amigo. Have
a nice trip to Monterey.

Gracias. Saludos
a los muchachos.

Thank you. You
have a very kind heart.

Don Diego, I have
taken every precaution.

Soon the ship from
Boston will arrive,

and we will sell the hides
for 20,000 American dollars.

And then, then you will have
nothing more to worry about.

Sergeant Garcia!
Sergeant Garcia!

Oh, Sergeant Garcia,
I have been robbed!

Again, Senor Pachaco?

El Cuchillo and his men! They
ate my food and drank my wine,

and when I demanded
payment of them,

they knocked me down
and took all my money!

Don Diego, I'm very much afraid that
your friend, El Cuchillo, is a bandido.

(EXCLAIMS) Sergeant! After
them! They cannot have gotten far!

Of course. Lancers, to horse!

To horse! To horse!

Now, that's strange.

Why would Cuchillo spoil
everything for himself?

Tell me later.

Lancers, mount! Follow me!

Guard! Si, Don Diego?

Has anyone spoken
to the prisoners today?

Only little Chato.

Chato?

He brought them some cigars
for their long trip to Monterey.

Gracias.

Is that what you
were trying to tell me?

What happens when the
fat one starts counting noses?

Soon it will be
too dark for that.

And there's no one
to stop us. Come on.

Oh, no!

Let them out.

(SHUSHING)

Stop that noise!

Open the gate. Come on, open it!

I will open it, El Cuchillo.
One moment. I will open it.

After them!

You two, over there.
You two, over there.

Come with me.

Well, they're gone.

All right.

(SWORDS CLANKING)

Surround them!

We'll meet again.

The sooner the better.

You two after Zorro.
The rest, follow me!

He went that way! Gracias!

(BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH)

Cuchillo!

Where is he?

Zorro!

Hey, Cuchillo. Soldiers!

Vamonos.

Lancers! To horse!

What horse?

(TORNADO NEIGHING)

Diego, I still say
good riddance.

El Cuchillo and his men could not
have left Los Angeles at a better time.

If they left, Father. But I
do not believe they have.

I think they are
somewhere up in the hills.

Zorro has not found them.
Sergeant Garcia has not found them.

True.

So, they've gone back to Mexico.

No.

Whatever else may be said of
Cuchillo, he is loyal to his men,

and three of
them are still in jail.

I do not think he would leave town
without trying to get them out again.

So?

And then there's that ship coming in
next week with 20,000 American dollars.

Now, no self-respecting bandido
would ride away from that, eh?

Diego, you are a
great comfort to me.

(LAUGHS)

What is it?

I don't know. Visitors?

(DOOR OPENS)

Your son has good
ears, Don Alejandro.

Well, Cuchillo, we, uh...
We were just discussing you.

Oh, really?

Help yourself. Thanks.

Pedro and the others are taking
care of everything back there.

Did you search the hacienda?

Si. Nobody there.

Try upstairs.

What do you think you're doing?

I'll give you one guess.

Get out! All of you!

Shall I k*ll them now, Cuchillo?

No, no, it's my turn.
You k*lled the last one.

I did not! Carancho did!

No, no. That was
the one before last!

No, no, no! Don't tell me...

Shut up!

You see, Don Alejandro,
they are like children.

Please don't move
towards me again, huh?

Please.

Diego, I don't
want to be impolite,

but we spent a bad night in
the hills and we are very hungry.

Please forgive me. Father, we
seem to be neglecting our guests.

(SCOFFS)

If you'll all go
into the hacienda,

we'll do our best
to take care of you.

(SIGHS)

CUCHILLO: Watch outside.

Don Alejandro,

please sit down.

Thank you.

Senor, we are going to be your
guests for about a week or so,

until the ship from Boston
arrives in San Pedro.

You and Diego are free to
come and go as you please.

One at a time.

Just as long as one of you
remains seated in this chair.

I must warn you that if
there is any sign of trouble,

whoever is seated
in the chair...

Boom!

Why don't we just k*ll them now?

Why are you always so anxious?

Because you never let me do it.

You always give the
job to somebody else.

Yeah, I haven't been
very fair to you, have I?

Yeah.

Hey, Diego,

where is your servant?

You know, that nice
little mute fellow?

DIEGO: Bernardo? CUCHILLO: Hmm.

At the moment I can't say.

Oh.

Chato, when he comes
back, you can k*ll him.

CHATO: Oh, thank
you, Cuchillo. Thank you.

Chato!

Look at you. Look
at you, like pigs!

You make me sick.

You have no manners.

Well, maybe someone
should teach them some, eh?

Just a moment, Diego.

I'm just going to change
places with my father.

Isn't that what you want? One of
us sits as hostage for the other?

Good. This thing is
giving me saddle sores.

CARANCHO: Cuchillo!

Cuchillo!

Huh?

Sergeant Garcia is
coming with the soldiers.

It looks like he brought
the whole garrison.

Go warn the others.

Get over there.

Don Alejandro, come over here.

Please sit down.

I want you to go outside
and send those soldiers away.

Well, what do you
suggest I tell them?

That's up to you, amigo.

But remember...

Boom!

Do as he says, Diego.

And give Sergeant Garcia
my warmest regards.

Oh, buenos dias, Sergeant.

Don Diego, I... Oh!
Buenos dias, Don Alejandro.

Has... Does Don
Alejandro have a stiff neck?

No, he's fine. Oh.

Oh, Don Diego, I have
the most wonderful news!

The ship from Boston has
arrived a whole week early!

I have already sent the
hides on to San Pedro.

You do not seem
pleased, Don Diego.

No, I am, Sergeant, really.

Don Alejandro does
not look happy, either.

Maybe if I give his
neck a little twist.

No, Sergeant, no. He's fine.

But he looks so
uncomfortable. He's all right.

Right now I'm on my
way to San Pedro. Fine.

Will you inform
the other rancheros

that I will return this
evening with the money?

DIEGO: Yes. Gracias!

(CHUCKLING) Don Diego, I...

Don Diego, I forgot
to tell you something.

Last night, I chased both Zorro

and El Cuchillo
out of Los Angeles.

(LAUGHING) I chased them
so far, I couldn't even find them!

The money will be safe.
Adios. Adios, Don Alejandro.

GARCIA: Lancers, forward!

Oh, your father is all right.

But your first
instinct was correct.

I don't need you anymore.

Why don't we just k*ll them now?

In a moment.

Sit down, Diego.

Oye, Trumpa.

Take some men
and go to Los Angeles

and get Vibora and
the others out of jail.

Si. Wait.

You shouldn't have any trouble.

The fat Sergeant has
most of the soldiers with him.

I'll meet you on the
road to San Pedro.

Si.

Well, Diego,

I'm sorry the ship
is a week early.

I'm sorry, too.

I could have
enjoyed our little visit.

We could have talked
about a lot of things.

You might even
remember who Zorro was.

I believe we discussed
that yesterday.

It wasn't much of a discussion.

You answered each of my
questions with one of your own.

(SIGHS) I wish I had
time to find out why.

Hmm.

Well,

goodbye, amigo.

Hey, now?

Oh, no, no, no.
These are my friends.

Wait until I'm farther
away. I'll fire a sh*t.

CUCHILLO: Goodbye, amigos.

Vamonos.

(g*n f*ring)

That's my signal.

(COCKS g*n)

(DOOR RATTLING)

Mice?

(LAUGHS)

(FIRES g*n)

(TAPPING)

(LAUGHING)

Sit still!

(METAL CLANGING)

Bernardo, tie up Chato.
Take him to Los Angeles.

Father, you get as many of
the Dons together as you can.

I'm going to need some help.

(g*ns f*ring)

GARCIA: Stop at the bridge!

We'll stand fast here!

Lancers, prepare to stand fast!

The King expects
every man to do his duty.

The fat Sergeant will
defend the money with his life.

I'll cut a path through
them. You follow me.

Take the wagon
and get out of there.

MAN: Si, Cuchillo. Vamonos.

(g*ns f*ring)

(SWORDS CLANGING)

(URGING HORSES)

The money!

(MEN SHOUTING)

El Cuchillo?

(GRUNTS)

Come on, Zorro.

All right. Come on.

Better luck next time.

(GRUNTS)

Please, Senor Zorro,
help me! I'm stuck!

No, no. No, thanks, Sergeant.

I think we've both had
enough fighting for one day.

But wait! Wait!

(GRUNTING)

Sergeant, it was a good idea to
separate El Cuchillo from his men,

send them on ahead.

But are you certain
you do not wish

some of the Dons to
ride with you to Mexico?

Oh, no, Don Alejandro.
You have all done enough.

This is a situation
for the army.

Yes, it is, Sergeant. And I
certainly hope you are up to it.

Bring the prisoner!

Comfortable?

My nose itches a little bit.

(LAUGHS)

Tell me,

what will they do
to you in Mexico?

Capitan Rodriguez wants
to sh**t me against the wall.

Ah, he was wanting to
do that for a long time.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHING) I'll be glad
to go back to Mexico.

I haven't had a good... A
good enchilada in a long time.

Say, all the rancheros
were at the fight,

but I didn't see you.

Where were you?

Well, I was, uh,

hiding in the bushes.

You have a little cut
on your cheek there.

Oh, it was a rose bush,
and one of the thorns cut me.

(LAUGHING) Now isn't that silly?

Yeah, yeah, very silly.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, goodbye, amigo.

Adios, El Cuchillo.

Oye, gordito. Vamonos. Andale.

Lancers, forward!

Poor Chulita. Her
heart must be broken.

She hides it rather well.

Are you leaving Los Angeles?

Si, Senor Diego.

Chulita, you must not
permit this to ruin your life.

It was not your fault you fell in
love with a bandido like El Cuchillo.

No, Don Alejandro.

You can build a fine,
new life somewhere else.

Si, Don Alejandro.

You will meet another young man.

Pardon me, but I
must not be late, eh?

Adios.

Adios, Chulita.

Must not be late?

There's no stage due today.

What do you think, Diego?

I don't know.

(HORSES APPROACHING)

Wait! Watch.

Why, the nerve of the man!

You know something?

This time I'm going
to fix him for good.

(WHISTLING)

Do not move, Senor.
You imperil the Senorita.

Now, ride around the rock.

A married man does not
have time to be a bandido.

Ay, chihuahua! This is
not what I had in mind.

Ay, que bueno!
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