06x01 - Lulu's Gone Away

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-yaw!'

You're watchin' the Duke boys
testin General Lee's shocks.

If y'all know some army that
wants to road-test its tanks

I recommend a cruise
through Hazzard County.

Who you gonna take
to the Tri-Counties

Amusement Park when
it opens next week?

Hmm, Mary Sue I suppose.

Mary Sue?

Well, you always were a leg man.

She sure has got 'em.

That is, if you like -by- s.

She's better than that hulk
you took bowling Friday night.

I swear she plays
linebacker for the Falcons.

Well, now, wait just
a minute that ain't fair.

Oh, that was nice.

Bye, Betty, Norma.

Oh, Dorothy, thank you
so much for your hospitality.

If that stimulating
repartee tells you Hazzard

is one snappy culture
spot, you're right.

And the brightest
jewel in its crown

is the Flower Club.

Of which Mrs. Lulu Hogg
is the recording secretary.

That's her, right on schedule.

Looks like them weeks you
spent in Hazzard put together

this here file..

Stayin' out of trouble..

Is about to pay off.

Now, I don't figure
that these folks

are part of the
Hazzard culture scene.

Well, as they say in the city..

These folks kind
of got it together.

Whatever it is, they done it.

Okay, about three miles down
the road is Crabapple Lane.

That's where she'll
be turning into town.

And that's where we take her.

While all these sinister
doings were cooking

Lulu Hogg was listening
to notes of her club meeting

on her recorder.

'But he promised..'

Jefferson Davis Hogg is
always promisin' and promisin'.

And he don't do no deliverin'.

Drat!

What's the matter
with this dang car?

She got car trouble.

Darn you, J.D.

This is all your fault.

Another promise you ain't kept.

Nobody's coming.

We take her now.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hey, look up there.

'Looks like Miss Lulu
could use some help.'

'Hi, boys.'

- Hey, Lulu.
- Hey, Miss Lulu.

This ol' car givin' you trouble?

J.D Hogg's givin' me
trouble, that's what.

He promised to have
this car fixed last week

and the week before that.

- Let's take a look at it.
- Yeah, we could do that.

I gonna come down
so hard on that man

he's gonna have to
reach up to touch grass.

Oh, sh**t, there's your problem.

Fuel filter's all clogged up.

Tell you what, we
can go call Cooter

he can fix it lickety-split.

'We'll take you
wherever you gotta go.'

Alright, fine.
I'll get my stuff.

Boys.

Can I do the driving?

- What?
- Well, uh..

- Sure, why?
- 'I'm in a hurry.'

I don't want you boys to
get into trouble with the law.

Don't you understand?

- Okay.
- Alright.

Come on, we'll
can give you a hand

throw this stuff inside.

Come on, Lulu.

Come on, boys.

Well, flop an arm around there.

- Hang on.
- Lord.

Alright, now, just give her

a little shove in
there for a little..

- Alright, now.
- Got her.

There I go. There I go. Ha ha.

- There you go.
- Ooh!

Maybe we should forget it.

Forget it?

That fat lady is the key
to her husband's bank.

That's right.

We drop Anna Lisa
back at the trailer..

And then we pay a little visit

to the richest woman in Hazzard.

Anybody figuring
to kidnap Lulu Hogg

is figuring on two long sh*ts.

The first, it would be
easier to steal a buffalo.

Hold on, boys.

And second, who says old
Boss will pay to get her back?

You're kind of anxious
to get home, huh?

I ain't heading for home, I'm
heading for the Boar's Nest.

I've got a lot I wanna say
to J.D. And while I'm still hot.

Under the girdle.

Oh, there we go.

Lulu and the Duke boys.

Those sneaky
Dukes, using my sister

Lulu to do their dirty work.

Well, they'll feel the
long arm of the law.

Oh, looks like we got company.

Well, he ain't staying long.

Oh, that's some looking...

It handles real nice, real nice.

- Lulu.
- It's alright.

Don't worry, boys.

Yahoo!

- You alright, boys?
- Yeah, just fine.

Hey! What are you...?

What are you
doing on my vehicle?

Alright, get off of there.
Get out from under there.

What do you think
you're doing anyway?

Something tells
me that's a hideout.

Nobody's answering.
She ain't home.

I wonder where
those guys took her.

Try the Boar's Nest.

That's right.

That's Boss Hogg's other office.

Well, let's go.

I got her.

Okay, there you go, Lulu.

- Now, you boys okay?
- Yeah, yeah, we're just fine.

Listen, we'll wait
for you inside.

But you just close
your ears, you hear me?

Because what I've
got to say ain't fit

for nice boys like you to hear.

I don't feel so good.

We ought to run
inside and get a beer.

And a percent delivery
charge, of course, to get...

J.D., put down that phone.

Oh, hush up, honeysuckle.

Oh, no, I didn't mean you, W.L.

No, just talking to my
wife who just waltzed

in here a minute ago.

But she's gonna
have to wait until

you and me get this
transaction finished.

- You are finished.
- Hmm?

Lulu, what-what did you do?
Have you lost your senses?

No, sir, I just found them.

That car you
promised to have fixed

for me two weeks ago?

Well, it just broke down.

And that hothouse you
promised to have ready

for my Flower
Club? Well, it ain't.

Oh, Lulu, honey, listen. Will
you just go on home, huh?

And you just start
cooking dinner, huh?

Don't forget Rosco's
coming to dinner tonight.

Besides, I just don't have time

to fuss with all
these trivialities.

J.D., for years you
ain't never had time for me.

I ain't nothing to you but
someone to cook your meals

and do your laundry
and take your sass.

Oh, butterball. You're
all upset, ain't you?

Well, listen. Right
after we finish

that nice dinner
you're gonna cook

and after Rosco goes home..

Well, you and I will have
a good Hogg-to-Hogg talk.

No, we ain't, J.D.

Because I have decided..

That I don't have time for you.

Lulu, you alright?

Oh, I've never felt
better in my life.

Well great. Come on. Hop in
the car, we'll take you home.

I'm only stopping long
enough to pack a suitcase.

- You going someplace, Lulu?
- To a hotel.

I've got to go
someplace where I can do

some serious reflecting.

Someplace where,
where J.D. can't find me.

'Not that he'd come looking.'

Oh, you're welcome
to stay at the farm.

'sh**t, yeah. The
guest room ain't much.'

Well our Uncle Jesse's the
best cook in all of Hazzard.

That's a fact.

- Oh, I'd be intruding.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.

No, you wouldn't, Lulu.

- Well, if you're right certain.
- Sure.

- Then it's settled.
- Yes, ma'am.

Oh, you Dukes are
something special. Bless you.

Uh, I'll d-drive.

- Yeah, he'll drive.
- Yeah, I heard about you, Lulu.

- B-bye.
- B-bye.

- Take care, Daisy.
- Okay.

Dang, she's still with
them hicks. What do we do?

We follow 'em.

They gotta let her
loose sooner or later.

Later that day, when old Boss
brought Rosco home to dinner..

He told Rosco about
the misunderstanding

that he'd had with Lulu.

- Well, you know how women are.
- Oh, yeah.

Little angel-food cake,
daddykins is home.

And he wants you to know

he forgives you for all
that fussing you done.

Oh, you see there?
That's the very thing

that everybody loves you for.

Because you got a big fat heart
underneath that big fat stomach.

- Yeah.
- Lulu.

- Lulu.
- A little nibble..

Oh.

Oh, Boss. Hey, Boss, come
here, come here, come here.

- Good news, good news.
- Yeah?

Here's an envelope
addressed to you.

And it smells
like it's a female.

Give me that.

- Probably from Lulu.
- Yeah.

She wants to apologize for
all that misbehaving she done.

"Dear, J.D, when you read
this, I'll be gone." Gone?

"But I, I-I'm sure
you won't even notice

"I'm missing till suppertime.

"I don't know when I'll
be back, or if I'll be back.

Lulu Coltrane Hogg."

- No wife.
- No sister.

- No dinner.
- No dinner.

What are they doing?

They're finishing eating.

'CV Anna Lisa. Tell her
we're staying right here'

'until we, uh, get our
hands on that fat lady.'

Lulu, you ain't touched
a bit of your dinner.

Oh, I know, child.

Jesse, don't have anything
to do with your fine cooking.

I know that, Lulu. A-As a matter
of fact, there is something I...

Jesse.

You're not gonna talk me
into going back to J.D., are ya?

Oh, no, no.

I know J.D. can be
very trying at times.

But he does have
his good points.

He's, uh..

'Ain't that right, boys?'

Uh, yeah. Yes, sir.

'Yes, sir, Uncle Jesse's
right, Miss Lulu, uh.'

I-I couldn't have
said it better myself.

I'll bet you right now
he's pacing the floor

pulling out his hair,
wondering where you are.

Yeah, and I give her $
a week expense money.

And never once did I ever
demand an accounting.

- I know. Yes, yes.
- Don't touch that.

She-she's the luckiest
woman in Hazzard County.

Well, then why would
the luckiest woman

in Hazzard County go off
from the most desirable man

in Hazzard County? I'd
like you to answer me that.

You don't suppose it's
another man, do you?

- What?
- You know what they say.

It's the fat, chubby
little husbands

that are last to know.

Oh, don't be a
jackass, you jackass.

- Daisy?
- Yeah?

I made something real
tempting for your lunch.

- Oh, well..
- I gotta fatten you up.

Thank you.

Oh, listen, why don't I
just stay here with you?

Oh, honey, there's
no need for that.

- Are you sure?
- No, you just run along.

Bye.

- Morning, Jesse, boys.
- 'How you feelin', Lulu?'

- Oh, tolerable.
- Go on, get.

You just make yourself at home.

You know whatever's
ours is yours.

We're gonna dump this load
of hay at Peevee Hawkins'

and we'll be right on back.

Well, I'll unpack.

And then I'll fix you all a
breakfast fit for J.D. Hogg.

Oh, that just sort
of slipped out.

Well, uh, Peevee's place
is just down the road.

Uh, we'll be back
before the coffee's hot.

Alright.

- 'Hang on back there.'
- 'You got it.'

'Drive slow, now.'

That's the last of them.

Let's go, Eddie.

This is the last day any
of us are gonna be poor.

Meanwhile, Lulu was
using the tape recorder

to practice up what
she was gonna tell Boss.

Not that you don't
deserve 'em, mind you.

There is a chance that I might.

Remember I said "might."
That I might come back.

But you have got to
change your ways..

Who are you? What do you want?

We want you, Lulu.

'We want you.'

Well, Lulu found somebody
to pay her a lot of attention.

You get out of here
before I call the law.

This is a kidnapping, Mrs. Hogg.

Nobody's gonna get hurt..

As long as your husband comes up

'with the ransom
we're asking for.'

'You boys made two mistakes.'

Two mistakes. The first
one is I ain't going with ya.

Oh, God.

And what's the second one?

That tightwad husband of
mine won't come up with a nickel.

'Let's get out of here before
those farmers get back.'

'Move, lady.'

Alright. Wanna
race to the coffee?

Yeah.

I could eat a horse.

- Hey, Daisy.
- We said goodbye to you.

What are you doing back here?

Well, I just remembered
I had these magazines.

And I thought it might help
Lulu take her mind off of things.

- Well, we could..
- Coffee.

Looks like Lulu changed
her mind about breakfast.

I hope she's alright.

Lulu?

Hey, y'all.

Clothes are all gone.
Suitcase is gone.

I bet she went home to Boss.

Maybe Rosco took her.

Or Boss came and
picked her up himself.

But it ain't like
Lulu to take off

without leaving a
message of some kind.

Oh, sh**t.

You know, Luke, I
sure was looking forward

to her driving us
into town again.

Life is full of disappointments.

Thank God for that.

You are going into town,
so why don't you just check

and make sure she's okay.
I'll stay here and do chores.

Alright, big - .

- Bye, Uncle Jesse.
- Goodbye.

Don't think I could live
through another ride with her.

He picked me.

Back at the Hogg manor,
Boss was having no trouble

making due without Lulu.

Oh-hum-ho-hum. Man
works from sun to sun.

Oh-hum-ho-hum.
Woman's work is never done.

There he is. Oh, hot
pursuit. I love it, I love it.

Oh, Rosco, that
ain't no way to do it..

Watch it, will you,
please? Don't do that.

You're no help at
all, you know that?

Well, listen here. What
an ingratitude you are.

'I left poor Flash
over at the house'

getting her own breakfast
so I could come over here

a-and clean up
this mess for you.

Oh, yeah? Well, I ain't grieving
for Lulu Coltrane Hogg none.

And listen, if you wanna
make me feel good

and maybe not get yourself fired

why don't you go out and arrest
the Duke boys or something?

Well, listen, don't
you worry about that.

I'll do it like I always do it.

I'll cuff them and stuff them.
I'll just take, I'll put 'em...

- Will you go?
- I'm going.

Watch it.

J.D. Hogg here.

'I got someone here who
wants to talk to you, Hogg.'

J.D., this is your Lulu talking.

Lulu?

Oh, well, I suppose
you're calling

because you're ready
to come back home now.

She is.

But we ain't ready to
bring her home just yet.

Who is this anyways?

I'm a man who could
take your woman's life.

Her life? My Lulu?

- Listen, that ain't funny.
- This ain't no joke, Hogg.

Now, you listen to me.

You go to your bank, and
you wait for my next call.

And if you tell
anyone about this..

You'll never see your wife
again. Do you read me?

Yeah, I do. I read you.

And now you just listen to me.

If you so much as
harm one beautiful hair

on that beautiful head
of my beautiful wife..

There ain't no place on earth
you gonna be safe from me.

'Now, you just put my
beautiful wife back on the line.'

'He wants to talk to you.'

J.D., I'm on.

I just want to tell you I
do mean everything I said

to you yesterday. You
don't ever have time for me.

'And you do keep me cooking
and cleaning hours a day.'

And I do take all your sass.

But I still love you..

Every flabby roll
and wrinkle of ya.

And I love every flabby
roll and wrinkle of you too

my little cupcake.

'I Always have
and I always will.'

And remember... I love you.

That's real cute, Hogg,
and I love you too.

Uh? Oh!

Shepherd to Lost
Sheep. Are you out there?

- We read you, Shepherd.
- Listen to what I've got here.

I found this in-in
the knittin' basket.

'You get out of here
before I call the law.'

'This is a kidnapping,
Mrs. Hogg.'

'Nobody's gonna get hurt..'

'...as long as your husband
gives us the ransom we want.'

'Did you hear that?'

Uncle Jesse, did
you call the FBI?

No, I haven't, but
maybe J.D. did.

You're thinking that
the kidnappers got

in contact with him then?

My guess is that they
have, but if they haven't.

You ought to find, J.D. and
let him know what's going on.

And now listen... you kids help
him any way you can, you hear?

We read you, Shepherd.

If we had only not left
her alone this mornin'.

'If only I'd stayed with
her like I planned on doin'.

'What's done is done.
Let's get into town'

'and see what
we can do to help.'

Meanwhile, at the bank

old Cooter was trying to
make his mortgage payment.

Boss, here is your ransom.

Ransom? What
ransom? Whose ransom?

My mortgage payment.

Oh, mortgage. Your
mortgage, yeah.

That's a good one of Miss
Lulu. How's she doing?

How's she doing?

Cooter, you have no cause to
ask me about things like that.

Uh... J.D. Hogg here.

I'm gonna say this once.

You bring $ , in
small bills to Sheep's Hollow.

And remember, one word
about this to anybody and...

Don't say it.

'You do know where
Sheep's Hollow is?'

Well, of course I know
where Sheep's Hollow is.

Good.

Alright, everybody.
The bank's closing now.

The bank's closing for the
day, so you better go now.

- Everybody out.
- What bout my mortgage paymen...

I ain't interested in
your money, Cooter.

Not right now, you come back.
Everybody just gotta go now.

Something happened, and
we gotta check the books.

So, everybody go and come
back. It'll be just the same.

Yeah, you too. Yeah, you go too.

Yeah, I'll tell you
all about it later.

- You drive like Terry Labonte.
- Hey, Cooter.

Well, we got
something to deal with.

Hey, Cooter, we got trouble.

- Cooter, you seen, Boss?
- I ain't sure it was him..

- He didn't wanna take my money.
- You're kidding.

'No, threw everybody
outta the bank.'

There he is now.

Hey, hey, Boss!
Just a minute, Boss!

Boss, we gotta talk to you.

No, no, no. Not now,
not now, outta my way.

We know that Lulu's
been kidnapped.

Where did you hear a
vicious rumor like that?

It's a terrible thing. We
just wanna help you out.

Oh, Boss, we love Lulu.

- Have you called the FBI?
- No. Hush.

I ain't called the FBI, and
I ain't gonna call the FBI.

Them kidnappers
told me if I so much

as breathe a word about
what happened to anybody..

I'd never see my
darling wife again.

So just leave me be,
and you just let me do

what I gotta do, you hear?

Well, I am grateful
for your offer and all

but I gotta go. I gotta go.

Sure looks like he's
delivering a ransom, don't it.

- Yep.
- Never seen him like that.

Excuse me, would you mind
telling me what's goin' on?

Cooter, when you was
in the bank with Boss

did he get a phone
call or somethin'?

Yeah, he did.

Did he say where he was going?

Said something
about Sheep's Hollow.

Sheep's Hollow. Son of a
g*n. Thanks a lot, Cooter.

If y'all need any help,
just give me a holler here.

I gotta go over to
Chickasaw, but...

- Appreciate it, Cooter.
- Thanks, Cooter.

You got it.

Take it easy.

'Lulu, my little cream puff,
I'm gonna get you back'

'safe and sound.'

'And when I do, them
kidnappers are gonna pay..'

for all the anguish they've
caused you and me..

Not to mention all
them missed meals.

Rosco was giving chase..

Because the last time
he saw his sister Lulu..

She was with the Dukes.

- We gotta lose Rosco.
- Lulu's his sister.

I know, but we promised Boss
not to let anybody in on this.

Yeah, but it just don't seem
right keeping Rosco out.

That's the way I feel, Bo.

Getting sick of
this. Yes, yes, sick.

They keep movin'
this trick on me.

Oh, I'm really mad now. I
mean, this is horrendous.

Alright.

While Boss took the
road into Sheep's Hollow..

Luke, Bo and Daisy took
the road up to, Eagle's Pass..

So they could watch an'
see if Boss needed any help.

And Rosco decided
to get into the act.

Let's see. Eagle
Pass, Sheep's Hollow.

Is this.. Oh, I know, I know.

Scientific police work.

Oh, giddy, I knew
it Sheep Hollow.

Enos, this is your
superior officer Rosco.

'Listen, now. I want you
to sneak up Sheep Hollow..'

'and we'll cut
them Dukes off...'

because they're gonna
lead us right to my little Lulu.

Yes, sir, sheriff.

I tell ya.

'Hold it right there, Hogg.'

'You take that money
and walk nice and slow'

'to that old dead tree
log there in front of you.'

- Uh...
- 'Now, move it!'

'Put it down. Right there.'

I got the license number.

- Hey, Bo. Write this down.
- Alright.

-D- -N- -

Whoever you are,
wherever you are, listen here.

I ain't gonna do one more
thing until I can see my

own darling
wife... in the flesh.

And hear her brave,
glorious, bugle-like voice too.

Come on, come
on. Lulu. Lulu! Lulu!

You. You out there! You take
that blindfold off her, ya hear?

This second. So she can see me.

- Not a chance, Hogg.
- It's alright, darling.

I can see you out of
the eye of my heart.

You can?

We warned you,
Hogg. We warned you

and you still got cute!

Come back, come back!
Listen, I didn't tell nobody!

Don't you harm one
square inch of my Lulu!

Here's the money.
Take it! Take it!

- That dang Rosco!
- Come on, let's go!

Well, don't that put
a clot in the churn.

Don't you harm one hair
on her head or you'll be sorry!

'Get back here, Rosco.'

Rosco!

- Did I get here in time?
- They're gone.

She's gone.

There's the cops.
Get your mask off.

Get down.

Come on, come on!

- I'm sorry, fellas.
- Oh, Enos.

Now, what the heck
did you do that for?

We could have caught them
guys. Now, they're getting away.

If we go by the...

It's terrible. It's terrible.

I ain't never gonna see hide
nor hair of my little wife again..

All because of your meddling.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. If you'd
have told me what was happening

then my lil sister
would be right here..

And I'd have those
kidnappers in the hoosegow.

Possum on a gum bush. You
mean, Miss Lulu's been kidnapped?

We'll fill you in
on it later, alright?

My guess is they're gonna
let Boss sweat it out a little..

And then contact him again
probably back at the bank.

We'll have time
to look for Lulu.

We got the license number.
Maybe you can run a make on it.

There's also a trailer
hitch on the back

of the car. They might've
been towing a trailer.

There ain't no more
you can do about it now.

Why don't you jus' get
back and wait at the bank?

I'll do that. Where's my
car? Oh, down the road.

I-I-I'll take you, Mr. Hogg.
C'mon, get in my car.

Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.

- You can take me.
- Yeah, alright.

Get right in there.

I gotta ride in the
back. I get carsick.

- Wait a minute.
- Don't step in my vehicle.

I say we take care of
her and get out of here.

We ain't leaving town
poorer than when we came.

Billy Ray, suppose
Hogg calls in the FBI?

He didn't call them before, he
sure ain't gonna call them now.

We should teach
that man a lesson.

'We will, Eddie. As soon
as we get our money.'

'Ooh, look at that sucker
go. Now, get to flyin' there.'

While Rosco was getting
the info on license plates

and, Luke was
working up a plan..

Daisy was on her way
to the phone company.

They learned that the
car and trailer were stolen..

And with a
description of the trailer

all they had to do was find it.

You know, what we ought

to do is all split up
in different directions.

I'll go grab a car at Cooters.

Daisy talked Gussie
into taking a long lunch..

So she could monitor the
calls coming into Boss' bank.

Don't mention anything
to the Boss please.

- I won't.
- Have fun, okay?

Thank you. I look so cute.

- Bye.
- Bye.

While Boss was finding out
a watched phone never rings..

Everyone else was out
searching for the trailer.

Now, wouldn't you know it?

The only one that
got lucky was Rosco.

Alright! Alright, you!

He just.. They were..

Yeah, Uncle Jesse,
Luke? Got your ears on?

Bo called the others and
reported what he had seen.

He told them that he
was going to see if Lulu

was inside and alive.

After that, he'd report back.

- Uncle Jesse.
- This is Shep..

Luke started to worry about Bo..

So since he knew where Bo was..

He CB'd, Uncle Jesse,
to meet him there.

This town's full
of heroes, ain't it?

Who you got there? What
did you do to him? Is that..

He's blond and beautiful.

You want him to stay
that way, you settle down.

Come here, Eddie.

Now, when we get this
money, we take Route ..

Past the amusement park
to the Tri-State Highway.

Anna Lisa, come here.

We get the car out
there. First thing I want...

So, Hogg, called in the law?

'He ain't no cop. He's probably
a friend of, Hogg's, trying'

'to do him a good turn.'

'If he got friends, they
probably know where we are.'

'Yeah. Which means
they're gonna lookin for him.'

'I think we should get out
while the getting's good.'

'No way.'

'Blondie, dropping
in like that..'

'...it's gonna make
things go a lot easier.'

- 'Where's that rope?'
- 'Trunk of the car.'

'You two get Lulu in the car.'

'I got a little something
I'm gonna fix up.'

- Come on, Lulu.
- What? What're you doin'?

You're not taking me anywhere.
Not as long as Bo Duke is ly...

She's seen us.

'Don't worry about that
now. Just get her in the car.'

See anything?

Well... it looks like he made it
down there, but where is he?

'Car ain't nowhere to be seen.
He could be inside the trailer.'

There it goes. I'm
gonna take the truck.

Get out of the way.

You put a Duke over
any kind of wheels..

And something's gonna happen.

Something's gonna happen.

Luke's gonna stop that
runaway trailer by letting it ram

into the pickup..

And hope that he
could guide it downhill.

Pretty slick, huh?
Even for a Hazzard.

Bo!

- Are you awake?
- Yeah, I'm awake.

- You alright?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You don't look so good.
- I was worried about you.

J.D. Hogg here.

That was a stupid move, Hogg.

'Yeah, I know what
you mean, but listen..'

it wasn't my doing.

That nitwit sheriff of mine was
chasing some traffic violator.

I swear on my wife's life.

Yeah, well, that traffic
cop is gonna cost you extra.

The ransom is $ , now.

Three hundred thousand?

You count it out
in small used bills..

'...and bring it to
Bluebird Canyon.'

Hogg might tell someone
about that phone call again.

I'm counting on that, Eddie.

This is, Momma Duck, callin'
her ugly ducklings. Do you read?

'Momma Duck calling her
ugly ducklings. Do you read?'

- Oh, here it is.
- Got it?

Set her on the table
there and listen.

This here's an ugly duckling
coming back at you, Momma.

Little Red Riding Hood's,
going to Bluebird Canyon

with her basket of eggs.

It would be nice
if you would see

- Little Red Riding Hood off.
- - .

There's only two ways
out of Bluebird Canyon.

Why don't we split up again.
Maybe it'll work this time?

'Luke, what's gnawing at ya?'

I ain't sure. I just got a bad
feeling. This is just too easy.

If I was them kidnappers, I'd
be headed out of the county.

Why ain't they?

Because they're
greedy and you ain't.

While Bo, Luke, Jesse
and Rosco was racing

to surround Bluebird Canyon..

Boss was racing to Bluebird
Canyon with the ransom money.

Change of plans, Hogg.

- Where's my Lulu?
- In the back.

Little pumpkin pie.

You're more precious to
me than any bank account

negotiable bond, or all the
gold in Fort Knox. Come to me.

You get her back when
we're out of the county.

Provided that all
the money's here.

No, come back! Come
back! Come back!

Come back with my Lulu!

He got my Lulu!

Oh, honey, it's
gonna be alright!

Boss, Lulu's gonna
be okay, I promise you.

- No, she won't.
- Yes, she will.

We pulled it off, honey!

Yeah!

Well, you don't know
my man if you think that.

I can already hear those
country trumpets sounding.

Bo, Luke, you out
there? I got bad news.

After Daisy told the boys
what happened in Hazzard

Enos called in.

He found Lulu's message
about the kidnappers

taking Route seven, to
the Tri-County Highway.

That was the good news.

The bad news was that
he found Lulu's blindfold

which told them, Lulu
had seen the kidnappers.

Great! We're never gonna
catch 'em people now.

They got too much
of a head start.

You tell that to Lulu, alright?

Now, once she's seen 'em,
they ain't about to let her go.

Alright.

We're gone, hold on!

'Yeee-haaaa!'

Rosco and Jesse heard the news
and started burning rubber too.

Boss and Daisy
headed for Route Seven

with Daisy at the wheel.

Because old Boss was
in no condition to drive.

She's gonna identify us.

Why did you promise
to give her back?

Have a heart, Eddie.

Man should bury his
own wife don't you think?

A day or two ago, I
would've been afraid.

But right now, I think my
husband is John Wayne

with the whole U.S.
Cavalry behind him.

And I feel sorry for you folks.

If I'm more precious than
all the gold in Fort Knox

you all are just
yesterday's news.

Wait a minute, if we take
that access road that runs

next to the amusement park,
we stand a pretty good chance

of cutting them at
the main highway.

Luke, that's an
awful rough ride.

Not as rough as the
ride Lulu's getting.

I ain't driving too fast
for you, am I, Jesse?

Fast? I thought
you was standin still.

- Oh, did you?
- Let's get at 'em!

Well..

Daisy, Daisy, I sure do
hope we catch 'em in time!

Listen, maybe we won't, Boss.

But, I tell you, the boys will!

- Oh, I don't know!
- Hey, it'll be okay.

Oh, please!

There's the access road.

Here they come.

- You alright, Lulu?
- She's mine!

Leave her to me, Bo!
She's mine, I got her!

I got her! I got her!

Honey, I'm just gonna
sit back down on you.

Oh, boy!

- Ha! You little..
- 'Hey!'

Get off!

That oughta' teach you a lesson.

Come on outta there, you!

Wait! Oh, oh!

Wait, I'm coming!
I'm coming, butterball!

-'J.D.!'
- Heyo hey!

-'J.D' - Oh, butterball!

There you are! I got you back!

Oh, oh, oh!

What have they done to you?

Eh, are you alright?

- I'm alright now, J.D.
- 'Good.'

But, the Duke boys
need some help.

They went off that
way with the money.

And Lord knows what's happened!

I'll get 'em. You hold her.

No! You hold her!

I'm gonna go after 'em.

In this case, leave it to me!

I got a personal
score to settle.

Oh, J.D., be careful!

Oh, he's awesome, when he's mad.

- You got him?
- Yeah, I got most of him.

I'll teach you to
break up a home.

Alright!

Lulu, Lulu honey,
look what I brought ya'.

A real trophy!

Oh, J.D., you're truly my hero!

Dumpling, you ain't ever
gonna leave me again, are ya?

Under your own steam, that is.

- Never!
- Oh, I knew, fruitcake.

'Everything's gonna
be just like it was.'

When I said I do, and I did!

And I will! If I can.

Amen! Hallelujah!

And a grateful Boss
wanted to reward the Dukes

for their help in
getting Lulu back.

So, he counted out the
money, the kidnappers didn't get

and he gave the Dukes
the satchel that it came in.

I reckon, adversity
had softened up

old Boss' generous streak.

The least he could have
done, was replace the shocks

that Lulu had worn
out on their car. Huh?