06x02 - A Baby for the Dukes

[bunniefuu]

- 'Yee-haw!'
- 'Yee-haw!'

Now chances are
if you go on a picnic

about the only
trouble you get is ants.

But if you're a Duke, it
just don't work out that way.

That's true.

How would you know?

- Take it.
- Alright

'Ha, ha, ha.'

- What?
- Huh.

Ha, ha, ha.

Friends, this here
musical is fixing to turn

into a melodrama.

Don't worry, Jamie. I'm
not gonna let 'em get you.

You gonna let that female
outdrive you, Baldwin? Nail her.

'I'll nail her.'

You want me to drive?

- Key change?
- Alright.

You bet.

What if he's not?

'That's a good one.'

You be a good boy now,
Jamie. I'll be back for you.

- I'll tell you what...
- No, no, no.

'Now wait. Hold it now.'

'That's enough
warbling for one day.'

- Whoa, look out.
- Excuse me, folks.

Did you see an old blue car
go by in the last few minutes?

- Sorry, we ain't seen nobody.
- 'No, sir.'

- You're welcome!
- What was that all about?

'I don't know.'

Hey, y'all. Hey, hey,
we got company here.

- Would you look at that.
- Holy smoke.

It got some kinda note pinned
to him. Come on outta there.

- Well, hey, there, little baby.
- Here.

Let me get that note on him now.

Take that note. Good.

"Dear Duke family,
please take of my baby.

"Some bad people are
trying to steal him from me.

"And please don't give
him up to the authorities.

"I'll come back to your
house for him as soon as I can.

Thank you with all my
heart, Jamie's mother."

- Well, I'll be dad-gummit!
- Who is Jamie's mother?

Sounds like she knows us.

I hate to say this, but... I
guess we better take him by

and give him to
Rosco or somebody.

Uncle Jesse! That's just
what she said not to do.

She begged us not to
take him to the authorities.

Well, uh, there
you go, little fella.

Well, I suppose we could take
him by the house and change him

and clean him up a little
and, uh, maybe feed him.

- Sounds like great idea to me.
- Mm-hmm.

- You got the keys?
- Yeah, got 'em.

- Dooie!
- 'Sheriff?'

You shouldn't be trying
to trap people like this.

It ain't right, it ain't
proper, it ain't honest.

You're gonna ain't yourself
right out of a job if you don't

stop ain'ting. You gotta
remember, monkey see, monkey do.

Monkey see, monkey do..

Oh, you're right, Flash.

What a time for
Rosco to show up.

We can't let them see
the baby. Please, Bo.

I gotta drive careful so the
baby don't get too shook up.

We'll hang on to
him. Keep going.

Alright.

Thursday night. What say you?

Go, Flash. Go.

Oh, ho, ho.

Oh, ho, ho-o-o.

Oh, ho. Oh! That was horrendous.

I know what I did would've
k*lled ten ordinary dogs.

- 'Rosco looks like a banshee.'
- Driving like one too.

Sheriff!

'Oh, ho. Who'd
that be? That did it.'

- 'That ripped it.'
- Sheriff. Sheriff, you okay?

- 'I mean, that really... '
- Sheriff. You alright, sheriff?

Sheriff, come
speak to me, sheriff.

You okay, sheriff?
Oh, my God, sheriff.

Get me outta here
before the fruit flies get to..

Eh, uh, you idiot, you..

Well, the good Lord looks after
babies, drunkards, and fools.

Little Rosco must fit in there
somewhere. He's alright.

You hit me on the side.
You couldn't mean to.

- I was blindfolded.
- Yes, sir. You...

I hit you right in
the center, didn't I?

- You did.
- You can't blame me for that.

- Did I hurt you?
- No, sir.

- You got a peeling on you.
- Put that down.

Meanwhile, Jamie's mother
got caught by the bad dudes.

They were downright
testy when they couldn't find

that smart little fella.

Okay, honey. What did
you do with the baby?

It's none of your
business. It's my baby.

- Why don't you stop chasing me?
- It is our business.

So you better start telling us.

Alright. Where did you hide him?

Yeah, or who did you leave him
with? You better tell us, honey.

Howdy, neighbors.
Y'all need a hand?

Oh, no thanks, friend.
We're doing just fine.

What if he tells somebody that
he's seen us here with the girl?

- Oh, he's just a dumb farmer.
- Hey, hey.

- Let's go get her.
- Hey, wait a minute.

Mr. Craig, don't want
her. He wants that baby.

She came from that direction,
and that's the way we're going.

Right. Let's just check out
that orange car we passed.

- Emerson Craig here.
- Mr. Craig, this is Fielding.

Look, I don't care what you
men do or how you get him.

But I am paying you $
a day, and I want that baby.

If you have any trouble
with those hayseeds there

you take care of them, you hear?

I will be in Hazzard
in two hours.

Yes, sir. We're on our way.
We'll see you later, Mr. Craig.

And while the baby's mother
was speeding away from Hazzard

thinking that she was being
chased, the Dukes was arriving

at the farm with
their precious cargo.

I don't see how we're gonna
take care of a baby at the farm.

Don't worry about
it. I'll take care of him.

It'll be fun having a little
tyke around the house again.

That's about the size of you
and Bo when you got here.

- 'We were never that size.'
- 'Not me.'

I can't quite picture you,
Luke, sitting on the floor

sucking your thumb crying away.

I did not suck my thumb.

Bo, that's more like you.

When you was hungry
or wanted something

why, you used to scream
like a... like a baby.

Wait just a minute. I never...

Some things never
change, do they?

Oh..

Luke, I feel sorry for him.

Why don't we go and
try to find his mama?

Those two guys were
asking about a blue sedan.

I'll bet you a beer
that's what she's driving.

- It's worth a try.
- Let's get outta here.

- Take care, fella.
- You're in good hands, buddy.

- How can he cry so long?
- 'Wet hands, but good.'

It's a little bit hot.

Uh, we got a bassinet
here somewhere.

It's either in the attic
or out in the barn.

Let this cool down a
little bit and give it to him.

It'll be alright.

Everything's gonna
be okay, honey.

Now about this time Boss Hogg

was having a county budget
meeting with Rosco and Enos

who couldn't count a dozen
eggs without taking off their shoes.

Well, look it's
going up, up, up.

And then come over here
and take a gander at this chart.

Here the county income
is going down, down, down.

Well, little fat buddy, listen,
things are tough all over.

- Yeah, but not like here.
- Not like here.

Because no other county in
the whole US of A is so honored

as to have a sheriff's
department like ours.

- Oh, well, I appreciate...
- Much obliged, Mr. Hogg.

On account of you two boobs
have single-handedly managed

to drive Hazzard County
to the brink of bankruptcy.

- And I do mean drive.
- Well.

Come on out here.

- Now, take a look at that..
- 'I remember that.

You did that one the end,
that second one from the top.

- It's Enos' fault.
- Who?

He's a menace behind the wheel.

I beg your pardon, but
it takes two to tangle.

- Don't...
- I'll tangle you...

- Quiet, will you?
- But, sheriff...

Quiet. Just get back in there.

- 'Those few down on the end... '
- 'Come on.'

Well, in the meantime,
far out of town

Jamie's mother turnedaround
to sneak back into Hazzard.

She's desperate
to contact the Dukes

to see if her baby was okay.

It's time for a whole
new fiscal policy.

Right.

And I call it Hoggonomics.

- Hoggonomics?
- Hoggonomics.

Hoggonomics.

Exactly which
Hoggonomics is that?

- You don't know?
- Neither does he.

Alright, alright, come
on. I'll show you.

Oh, goody gumdrops.

Yes, sirree, Bob. Hoggonomics!

- Hoggonomics?
- Yeah.

And here's Hoggonomic
change number one.

That's a... well, that's
a horse. Oh, jeez.

- Can you ride?
- No.

Well, you better.

Because from now on the
Hazzard County Sheriff's Department

is gonna be known as The
Hazzard County Mounties.

- Hazzard...
- Hazzard County Mounties.

Hazzard County
Moun... I can't even say...

Come on, get on there.

- I'm too young to die.
- Come on.

And while the boys
was trying to track down

the old blue car
with Jamie's mother

them two bad dudes was
hunting for an orange car with a flag

which ain't too hard to spot.

Found 'em.

- Pull 'em over.
- You got it.

Luke, that's them two
guys who's asking questions

'this morning, ain't it?'

- 'Hey, back off!'
- 'Hang on.'

Look out.

Something we can
do for you, boys?

Yeah, excuse me, friend,
we're on some urgent business.

We're private investigators.

You boys see anything of an
abandoned -month-old baby?

Well, I'll thank you to
get your hands off our car.

Well, you ain't answered
our question yet.

Well, now what
question was that?

We're looking for a baby that's
been dropped of here somewhere.

We ain't playing no
games. Start talking.

Uh, Luke, you heard
the man, uh, start talking.

Right.

Actually, we was just having
a little family picnic, you see.

- And then, all of a sudden...
- Oh.

Everybody in Hazzard is
kinda edgy today, ain't they?

Alright, you hayseeds,
move one finger, you've had it.

You better listen to him,
you couldn't handle him.

- I couldn't handle him?
- I had my guy...

Think you'll do
better, try it yourself.

Alright.

Hang on.

- That was close.
- Yeah.

sh**t. We got a flat.

They sure are worked up
about getting a hold of that baby.

Better get back to the farm
and warn Daisy and Uncle Jesse.

And meanwhile that
lady looking for her baby

was running out of luck and gas.

Ain't that the fat cat
looking for the baby?

We're gonna stay
our course, you hear?

Over and out.

Oh, la, blah, blah,
blah. I'm in charge here.

What can I do for you, sir?

- My name is Emerson P. Craig.
- Emerson P. Craig.

Not the Emerson P. Craig?

Of Craig Cotton Mills?

Why, you're one of the
leading cotton-picking tycoons

of the whole south.
Uh, glad to meet you, sir.

From the description I've got,
you must be Commissioner Hogg.

Yeah, that's right, I am.

Oh, listen here now, you
come right into my private office

and make yourself at home.

Oh! Oh, eh.

Excuse me, excuse me.

I do not have time to fool
around, commissioner.

I'm here on a
very urgent matter.

My infant grandson
has been abducted.

'Oh.'

My private investigators
have traced him to this area.

- Oh.
- Here's his picture.

- Uh.
- There.

Oh, the poor little
abducted thing. How awful.

Listen, I'll alert my
sheriff's department.

And now, temporally mounted,
to be on the lookout for the thugs

who committed
this heinous crime.

The infant was
stolen by his mother.

Huh? His mother?

I was awarded custody at a
hearing down in Savannah.

- You were?
- And I want that baby.

Yeah.

I have offered a $ ,
reward for his safe return.

Twenty five thousand dollar
reward! Ha ha ha! Hallelujah!

Alright, I'll get my
men on it immediately.

My investigators tell me that
a orange car with a flag on top

might be involved.

I should've known it.

- It's the Dukes.
- Who're the Dukes?

If we got any trouble
around here, you can be sure

that their noses are right
smack in the middle of it.

The heck with this. Let's
get out to the Duke farm.

On the way I'll call my
men to meet us there.

Oh, no.

And while the baby's mother,
who was one worried women

was trying to call the Dukes

Bo and Luke was
telling Jesse and Daisy

about the trouble
they'd run into.

These fellas sh*t at you?

That's right, Uncle
Jesse. They sh*t at us.

They mean business
too. They want that baby.

You know, this
is getting serious.

- 'Well, we should tell Rosco... '
- No! Uncle Jesse, please.

I just, I got a
feeling about this

that it ain't the
right thing to do.

Look at this
helpless little thing.

Yeah, somethin' bad is
going on, that's for dang sure.

Until we find out what
it is, I'm with Daisy.

Nobody knows that baby's here.

Listen.

Somebody just turned
off the main road.

It's a big black limo,
anybody know who it is?

I ain't waiting to find out.

- I'm hiding Jamie just in case.
- Get rid of this.

- Put it in the closet.
- Open that door.

Alright, you Dukes,
we've come for the baby!

- Now, hand it over.
- 'What baby is that, Boss?'

I am Emerson P. Craig.

- Of Craig Cotton Mills.
- How do you do, sir?

And that baby is his
grandson, he's been stolen

and your car was
seen in the vicinity.

So, you Dukes have
somethin' to do with it.

J.D., what are you
babbling about?

- I will explain.
- Yeah.

About two years
ago, my son Roger

married a little thing who
was working in one of my mills

'without my approval
and against my orders.'

Well, they had a baby.
Soon after that, my son d*ed.

O-oh, I didn't know
that part. Oh, I'm sorry.

You, uh, oh..

I didn't approve of him marrying
this little girl because she was

a nobody, she was
raised on a grubby farm

came from a hick town.

'Since Jamie was my grandson,
I went to court, had a hearing.'

Naturally, I won.

She was declared an unfit mother

'and I was awarded custody.'

So if you know where
that baby is, I want him!

Now, wait a minute, you
had the mama declared unfit?

'Why'd you do that?'

Cause she's a hard-working girl?

Brought up on a farm and
you didn't know her family?

Oh, oh, I knew
the family, alright.

- They were from Hazzard.
- What's the girl's name?

Mary Lou Tompkins, come
on now, we're wasting time.

Didn't we know Mary
Lou before she left?

'Sure.'

- Bill and Bonny Tomkins.
- That's right.

They was good people.

Listen, mister, your sense
of values is all topsy-turvy.

You can't judge a person
just because they had dirt

on their hands and calluses
and grew up on the farm.

And you can't judge
them by how much money

they have or haven't got.

Some of the richest
people I've know in my life

never had a dime.

- Hogg.
- Hmm.

- These people are stalling.
- Oh, yeah.

Where are your officers,
so we can search this place?

- Don't crowd me.
- I'm sorry, sheriff.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

What in the world is that?

Come on down. You dodos.

Enos, listen turn those
lights and siren off.

- Hold my horse -
Come on, will you?

Come on, we need you.

Alright, Mr. Craig,
here's my sheriff now.

I want you men
to search this farm.

'Alright, you heard
him, start searching.'

'Oh, yeah. Don't you
worry about a thing.'

Rosco P. Coltrane
will take care of it.

Hold on a minute now,
Rosco. This here is our place.

This may be a grubby
farm, but it is private property.

That is nonsense!

Sheriff, if they got
that baby, I want him.

Now, spread out. You too, Hogg.

Mr. Craig, you might be a
big wheel out in Savannah

but you ain't green
beans here in Hazzard.

If you don't have a
warrant, you're not taking

one step on my property.

So just gather up your
people and get out of here.

For once, them Dukes is right.

We left town so fast

I didn't have time to
get a search warrant.

You are all a bunch of
country bumpkins. All of you!

I will tell you something, my
lawyer's coming up from Savannah

with that court order giving
me custody of the baby.

If you don't honor it, you will
all be in violation of the law.

Yeah, but, Mr. Craig..

He's got some nerve
talking to me like that.

He's a charmer, alright.

I ain't got no transportation.

So, one of you Dukes
is gonna have to give me

a lift back into town.

Sorry, Boss, we're a
little bit too busy for that.

Oh, tiddly tuddly.
You can ride with me.

You can ride with us.

- Yeah, but I...
- That's alright.

'Whoa, baby, whoa, whoa, whoa.'

- Alright, come on.
- Oh, you're heavy.

- Watch it, watch it.
- There you go.

- Got your flabby body up there.
- I'm up, I'm up.

- Boss?
- What.

You're on backward.

- What?
- You're on backward.

I ain't budging.

Alright, alright, let's go now.

I just, I ain't
too good at this.

- How's it going back there?
- It's okay.

Yeah, I think it's feeding time.

Time to go.

Enos, Enos.

I wouldn't gallop,
sheriff. Don't gallop.

Well, the Dukes weren't
about to give up little Jamie

until they'd heard
Mary Lou's side.

If they can find her.

And while they were
figuring their next move

it was too risky to leave
the baby on the farm.

So Daisy volunteered
to go into hiding with him.

You know, I been thinking.

Maybe, we should take
him to the old sawmill.

Plumbing still works, hardly
anybody goes out there anymore.

That's a good idea.

Oh, just stop it.

Jamie's mother was
finally back on the road

heading for Hazzard
and her baby.

Well... it sure ain't
your basic nursery.

But I guess it's just
gonna have to do, huh?

Sure you don't mind
staying here, Daisy?

I'll do anything to keep that
awful man away from Jamie.

Meanwhile, them two private eyes

finally got their car running
and met up with their boss.

He ordered them to put the
Dukes under tight surveillance

whatever kind that is.

- Yes, sir.
- Well, then go.

Yes, sir.

Jamie, take care of
yourself. You too, Daisy.

If there's any trouble, call
us on the CB, condition red.

- I will.
- We'll come running.

Okay.

Bye, fellows.

Jamie, how about
a little nap, huh?

There you go, sweetheart.

Now, let me get it straight.

It doesn't even matter about
the court orders he's got.

The Duke boys consulted
with the new lawyer in town

to see about little
Jamie's rights.

- Thank you, sir.
- Thanks a lot.

- We appreciate it.
- See you later.

- Let's roll.
- You got it.

Alright, alright.
Watch it now, will you?

Go right up to the
county building.

Come on, come on.

Get off!

Watch out. Watch out.

Let me down. Let me down now.

Help me down, will you?

Help me down off of
this thing. Get me down!

Help me, help me!
Don't let me go.

Don't let me go.
Don't let me go.

Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

- Don't touch him.
- Don't touch me.

Your little Hoggonomics,
are they tender?

Yeah.

Mr. Hogg, you reckon
I should call Cooter

and tell him to get the
Patrol cars running?

- Yes...
- No, never, never.

Oats is cheaper than gasoline.

And I'm holding the line.

What you're holding
is your little posterior.

Oh, would you hush up?

Now, listen. I want you
men to ride out there.

And you find that missing
baby, you hear me?

I don't give a hoot for
that Savannah big sh*t.

But Hazzard County
needs the reward money.

And I need a new body.

Go on, get going!

- Help me on my vehicle.
- Yes, sir.

On the count of three.

Alright, one, two..

- No, sheriff! Oh, sheriff!
- Enos!

So what'd the
lawyer have to say?

He had a lot to say.

But the gist of it is
if Craig's got himself

a court order for
the baby's custody

issued in Savannah,
we gotta get a ruling

from a Hazzard
County circuit judge

and he can grant
us a -day stay.

That is provided that
everyone involved

stays within the Hazzard
County jurisdiction.

That oughta buy us
some breathing room.

And we figured since
Judge Druten's an old

fishing buddy of yours, we
shouldn't have any problem.

It's hard to tell about that old
warhorse, but it's worth a try.

I'll try to find him.

I'll get it.

- Hello, Bo Duke here.
- Hello, Bo?

This is Jamie's mother.

- I left you a note.
- Mary Lou?

- Come here.
- How'd you know it was me?

There's a whole lotta
funny stuff going on here

but don't you worry,
your baby's fine.

I miss him so much.
I've gotta see him.

- She wants to see the baby.
- But where is she?

Mary Lou, where are you?

I'm in a phone booth about
miles from Hazzard.

You still remember
where Jensen's Hollow is?

Sure, it's right
past the old quarry.

We'll meet you there. Okay?

Okay. I'll make sure
that no one sees me.

You do that. Then, we'll
bring you to your baby.

You have nothing to worry
about 'cause Daisy's with him.

How can I ever thank you?

Don't worry about it. We
know how you feel, okay?

Thanks, I'll see ya. Bye.

Them dudes done heard
everything about everything.

Ain't that a poke in the eye?

They're gonna lead
us right to the baby.

Come on down,
let's go get Mr. Craig.

J.D., I need to talk to you.

Jesse Duke, what's the idea
to come barging in my office?

Listen, now you're
on my private property.

Oh, just take it easy. Now
listen, I need your help.

And unless you want that
windbag from Savannah

to walk all over you,
you're gonna give it to me.

You want me to help you?

After you cost me
$ , reward money?

And then you wouldn't
even give me an itty-bitty

lift back into town? Huh.

It's on account of you Dukes

I'm sitting on all
these pillows, aching.

Hogg, it finally got
here. My court order.

Now, I demand some
action. I want that baby.

Alright, let me see the thing.

- Mr. Craig, did you ever...
- You keep out of this, Duke.

I was gonna say,
did you ever consider

that maybe a country life
would be good for that baby?

'You seriously think'

that I would allow
my grandson and heir

to grow up in a shantytown,
live in some grubby shack

being pawed by a bunch
of people in dirty overalls?

Well, say, Mr. Craig, you
know, I grew up in this town.

And I sure don't
live in no shack

and I ain't wearing no overalls.

Just... if you and your
ridiculous police force

'don't help me find that baby'

I'll have you all
brought up on charges.

I'll sue for damages. I'll
wipe out this dump of a town.

Wait a minute, Mr. Craig

I mean, we may be country
folk living in a small town

but you sure can't come in
here and thr*aten us like this.

'Even if you are
rich and important.'

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Mr. Craig, we have
to talk to you a minute.

We'll talk outside. Move it!

Alright, alright. Get
out, get out, get out.

And stay out!

Oh, Jesse, listen.

Anything I can do to help tree
that skunk, Craig, I'm ready.

Spoken like a true
ridge runner, J.D.

Yeah, that's me.

Now, then, if we can
just find Judge Druten

maybe we can get
a stay of that order

that Craig was
a-waving in your face.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll call the county
bailiff in Capitol City

and find out where
the judge is sitting.

'Now, we're getting pretty
close to Jensen's Hollow.'

- How does it look?
- Looks all clear behind us.

So far, so good.

We're five miles from
the Jensen Hollow turnoff.

Oh, good, good.

We've to pull off the road,
so we can observe the place

without the Duke
boys spotting us.

Check, Mr. C.

This is a nice place
for a picnic, sheriff.

Alright, a hot pursuit.
Giddyup, horsie.

It's those keystone
cops again, Mr. Craig.

We've got them
now. Pull it over there!

Alright, there.

Alright, get out
of that vehicle.

Get out of there
'cause I gotta search

your vehicle for a missing baby.

Sheriff, it's Mr. Craig
who called us

a bunch ignorant
country bumpkins.

And that is exactly
what you are.

The missing baby is my grandson.

I'm going after the infant
now. Here's my court order.

And I am ordering you, sheriff,
to come with us and enforce it.

Just a purple
pea-picking minute...

Just a minute, if
you don't do that

you're gonna be in contempt
of court, and I got witnesses.

Come on, get in the car.
Don't waste any more time.

Listen, here, if you
think I'm gonna...

Get in the car!

- Take care of the horses now.
- Yes, sir.

Shame, shame, everybody
knows your name.

- I mean, you guys, you just...
- 'Shut up.'

Wait, sheriff, how long
you want me to stay here?

Nice horse.

Oh, Jamie, you're awake, huh?

Well, come here, little guy.

Oh, did you have
a nice nap? Yeah?

Oh, look at this big boy.

Come here.

And while Daisy was
tending to little Jamie

Bo and Luke was
arriving at Jensen's Hollow

to meet his mother

little knowing that
everybody that they was trying

to keep it secret
from, already knew.

- Bo, Luke.
- Hey, how you doing, Mary Lou?

- Well, look at you.
- Mary Lou.

- Hey.
- Good to see you.

Me next. Come over here, you.

- 'How you doing?'
- 'Gosh, it's been years.'

That's right, I remember you
and Bo in the same homeroom.

Remember the day I almost
blew up Mr. Broom's science class?

Guys, I'm sorry to get you
all mixed up in my troubles

but I don't have anybody else.

Now, that ain't true.

We know one little tyke
that's real fond of you.

That's right. We all love Jamie.

But Mr. Craig is trying to take
him from me. I had to run away.

He said all kinds of bad
things about me in court.

Yeah, we met Mr. Craig.
We'd sure believe that.

Mr. Craig is here in Hazzard?

Yeah, but don't worry about it

'cause we got a lawyer
and we're looking around

for a judge who'll listen
to your side of things.

'He's caused so much trouble,
even Hogg's helping us out.'

- 'He is?'
- 'Yeah.'

Daisy's with Jamie, so
we're gonna take you to him.

That's why I wanted
to bring him back here

so he could grow up around
nice folks like you Dukes.

- Well, let's get going.
- Get in the car, come on.

Let's go.

'You guys are making
a big mistake here.'

'You're abducting an officer.'

'A Sheriff Rosco..'

Careful now.

If they see us, you'll
blow everything.

Don't you worry, Mr. Craig.

Those hicks are so dumb,
they'll never know what hit 'em.

Oh, tiddly tuddly.

Just because a
person lives in a country

doesn't mean that he's stupid.

Oh, yeah?

Well, y'all ain't done
nothing to prove any different.

Numb-head.

Oh, there's that chicken hawk.

That rascal's the one's
been k*lling all those chickens.

- What was that?
- It's g*nshots.

It's them two guys
we fought with.

They're sh**ting at us.

No, if they were sh**ting
at us, they'd hit us by now.

I don't know what
the heck they're up to

but I'm changing
direction. Hang on.

Luke, they're hanging
in there pretty good.

- I know, I know.
- Well, drive.

I am.

Ain't gonna be there long.

- Wait a minute.
- Get out of the car.

- Don't go scuffing my...
- You stupid oaf!

- I'll take care of you later.
- Oh.

- Let's go.
- O-oh.

Freeze!

- What about Jamie?
- We can't take you to him now.

First we gotta
shake your sweet old

father-in-law and them fellas.

- Well, they sure do drive good.
- They're fast.

Don't worry about it, darling.

I taught Luke here
everything he knows.

You crazy?

I was putting this car together
and you're still riding a bike.

Step on it. I want those
Dukes, and I want that girl.

We'll force them to
take us to the baby.

Yes, sir.

Now, make sure
you just hit the tire.

Hang on.

And this all started out
as a Duke family picnic.

Luke, watch out now.

'Look out for that truck.'

'What are you trying
to do, get us all k*lled?'

'Now look what you done.
Let's get this car out of here.'

That ain't gonna hold
them up very long, Luke.

sh**t, we brought them too
close to Daisy and Jamie, though.

Too risky to go in there.

Let's head back to town,
see how Uncle Jesse's doing.

Don't worry about
a thing, Mary Lou.

I'll give Daisy a call to
make sure Jamie's alright.

This is Lost Sheep to Bo
Peep. Come in, Bo Peep.

This is Bo Peep.
Come in, fellas.

Daisy told them that
everything was fine.

So the boys told
her to just sit tight

and they'd come
back and get her soon.

Hello, hello, hello.
Yeah, I'm holding here.

You get anything further
on the Judge Druten?

Did he say where he went?

Alright, will you keep
looking for me, please?

Alright, I'll... hold on.

Alright. Hold these
things. Dagblast it.

- Hello, J.D. Hogg here.
- Yeah?

- Uncle Jesse?
- Yeah.

- Oh, hey, Uncle Jesse.
- 'Yeah.'

- Yeah.
- This is Mary Lou Tompkins.

- Oh.
- Hi.

- Well, Mary Lou.
- Hi.

Are you and Boss
having any luck here?

Judge Druten's on vacation,
we're trying to find him.

Oh, thank you,
thank you very much.

Listen, I got it.

Judge Druten's off
bass-fishing at Spruce Lake.

That means nobody's gonna
be able to reach him nohow.

You stay here with Uncle
Jesse. We'll be right back.

If you locate him, tell him
Jesse says "bear trap."

Bear trap?

Never mind what it means,
tell him Jesse says "bear trap."

- Say "bear trap."
- Okay.

Alright, honey. Here.

While the Duke boys were
barreling toward Spruce Lake

Emerson Craig was going
through the Hazzard countryside

hunting for Daisy's hiding place

and getting meaner
by the minute.

Now, friends, I'm glad
he ain't my granddaddy.

We'll check every building
that we come across.

That baby's gotta be
out there somewhere.

- There he is.
- Jesse's right again.

- Hey, judge!
- Judge.

Listen, we got a
little job for you.

We got some trouble.

Listen, listen, listen, sorry,
but we need you right now.

But the trout was biting.

And no matter what
the boys told him

the judge wasn't moving,
until Luke said the magic word.

Bear trap.

What did you say?

Our Uncle Jesse told
us to tell you "bear trap."

Doggone the ding-dong luck.

Help me out of
here, for crying out..

Give me that.

- I'll get out of my waders.
- No, we gotta get going.

Stop over there by the sign.

We gotta be getting close now.

Mr. Craig, it's
fresh tire tracks.

Well, let's check it
out. Come on, let's go.

Hey, Judge Druten,
we really appreciate

you coming along
with us like that.

If you don't mind me asking

what the heck does
"bear trap" mean?

Well, one time, a long time
ago me and your Uncle Jesse

was up in the hills
hunting possum.

I stepped in this great
big old bear trap. Crunch.

Tell you something,
your Uncle Jesse

he didn't lose his head
he took his r*fle barrel

and he pried open that bear trap

saved me and my foot.

- And I ain't forgot it.
- I suppose.

You tell me all about Mary Lou
Tompkins and her baby, huh.

Oh, there, there, Jamie.

Honey, I know how you feel.

I'm getting a little
worried myself

about where those boys are.

Will you get rid of that thing?

'If I'd known he smoked
those stinking things'

'I would've never hired him.'

Uh-oh.

Shepherd. Lost
Sheep, this is Bo Peep.

It's a condition red.

'I repeat, condition
red. I'm leavin', fellas.'

Come here, sweetheart.

This is Shepherd.
What's wrong, Daisy?

Daisy, come back.

Daisy?

Well, she sure ain't
answerin', Jesse.

Daisy must be in big trouble.

What about my baby?

- Your baby?
- Let's get to that sawmill.

- Honey, don't you worry now.
- Come on.

We'll get out there.

They must've slipped
out the back way.

You know where
the sawmill is, now.

Here we go. I know
where the sawmill is.

And meanwhile the Duke
boys was burning rubber

not knowing that
the real burning

was going on back in Hazzard.

And Daisy and Jamie
was headin' right into it.

Look, Mr. Craig. Some
dummy started a fire.

Girl up there, she's
carrying something.

Can't this thing go any faster?

Alright, alright. Just a minute.

We'll be at the
old sawmill turnoff.

What's that smoke?

'There's a fire there
in the sawmill area.'

There is a fire,
it's a big one too.

- Daisy's over there somewhere.
- Yeah.

Breaker, breaker,
breaker. This is Jesse Duke.

We got a fire in
the old sawmill area.

'This is Jesse Duke,
there's a brushfire'

'in the old saw mill area. We
need all the help we can get.'

Uncle Jesse, this here's Luke.
How about Daisy and baby?

We don't know. We ain't there.

- Well, we're on our way.
- Y'all, I see smoke.

Hang on, judge.

Oh, Jamie. Forgive me, baby.

I sure didn't mean
to get you into this.

Oh, sweetheart.

Don't cry, now.

My grandson's in there.
We gotta get him out of there.

That fire's spreading too fast.

Here, let's try make a
path right through here.

Hey, a water truck.
Maybe we can use that.

Ah!

Oh, honey.

'It's gonna be alright, Jamie.'

Alright, come on, there it is.

Just get over this here
road, and we'll get there.

Just pull right over there.

- Park right here.
- Come on, get out.

We gotta get
something to hinder it.

Stomp it or something like that.

Alright, come on!

Come on, you kids.
Get after that fire!

Come on!

Judge, we'll drive right
plumb through that.

You want out?

I'm with you boys, all the way.

Thank you.

Alright, Luke, it's
all systems go.

Alright, now don't run
away from me. Stay close.

Any sign of Daisy and the baby?

We saw them. They're
right in the midst of it.

You probably chased them
out there. You happy now?

Please, save my grandson.

You don't mind us old farmers
coming out and helping you?

I deserve that.

I've been a pompous,
selfish, unfeeling old fool.

And a few other things
which I ain't got time

to explain to you right now.

Mr. Duke, if you can save
my grandson, I'll do anything.

I'll let him stay
with his mother.

He might turn out to be alright
after all. What do you think?

Come on, get that
fire out! What? What?

Boss, don't get so close.
The fat'll be in the fire.

Don't you know Daisy
might be in there?

Any sign of her, Luke?

'No, maybe she
headed for the pond.'

Yeah, well, that's the
smartest thing to do.

I'll bet that's what she did. You
keep me wet, now, would you?

Oh, Jamie..

'I'm so sorry.'

I'm afraid this is it, honey.

Unless somebody
comes for us real soon.

Bo! Luke!

- Daisy.
- We're comin'.

Oh, Jamie, they're here.

- Give me a hand.
- Watch your step now.

Come on. Let's go
Come on, take it easy.

Be careful, Bo.

- You're alright now.
- Jump in now.

It's getting awful hot in here.
Don't run away from me now.

- Keep me wet, will you?
- 'You got it.'

Okay. Alright!

Well, there you have it.

Mary Lou was finally
reunited with her baby..

For the moment anyway.

- Mr. Craig.
- Yes, sir.

I'm Judge Druten, and
I think oughta warn you

I'm considering
granting a -day stay

on that court order of yours.

It won't be necessary,
Your Honor.

I'm tearin' it up.

Good.

Ain't that a pretty
family picture?

Thank you.

Well, Mr. Duke, I wanna
thank you and your boys

for straightening me out.

I was a hundred percent wrong
putting down you country people.

You're really
something... very special.

I'm gonna be mighty proud

to have Jamie grow
up amongst you.

- Did you hear that?
- Oh, oh.

Oh, oh!

Oh, yeah.

Boss, Rosco and
Enos was happy too.

Mr. Craig gave the
county a large check

for all the trouble
that he had caused.

Which balanced the budget

and got Rosco and
Enos their patrol cars back

which took some color
out of the Hazzard Police.

Y'all notice that Daisy's got
a kinda funny look in her eye.

I guess I need one of my own.

Uh-oh.

You got us.

I better give him back to you.