06x03 - Too Many Roscos

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw.'

Well, it was a lovely spring
mornin' and Bo and Luke

had the General
out for a little spin.

Nothin' really special.

But what to their wandering
eyes should appear?

Yep, you guessed it.
Two damsels in distress.

Which for Bo and Luke
usually means trouble.

Holy smoke, it's Sue
Ann and Marti Hansen.

They got car trouble.

Boy, if I might borrow
a phrase from Rosco.

'Coo-coo I love it, I love it.'

- Hi!
- Hi!

Ha ha, I'll be a son of a g*n.

Where have you handsome
girls been hiding out

these last couple of months?

Well, we'll be happy to tell
you Duke boys all about it.

While you changin'
that tire for us.

Uh-huh.

- Uh, we-we can do that.
- Sure.

You see that sizzlin' repartee
is what make the Duke boys

so popular in Hazzard.

Boss Hogg was worried
sick over the expected arrival

of one million dollars
in brand new bills

from the Atlanta Federal Reserve

to replace the worn out bills,
which in itself is a miracle.

Once Boss gets
his hands on money

it don't do too
much circulating.

Here's the street that
goes past the court house.

- You got it?
- Mmm.

And here's the street
that goes right across it

makin' an intersection
and there's my bank..

Right at the corner, you see.

Now, at exactly
noon, that armored truck

with all that money's
gonna come drivin' into town

and park itself right
there next to my bank.

Now, when that armored
truck arrives at noon

with all that money, well,
the driver's gonna have

a photo positive ID
cards for you two, you see.

And you, Enos, I want you
right out there in front of the bank.

You see that?

And, Rosco, you'll
be right there too.

Wait just a pea-pickin'
minute here.

I am the sheriff and
he is just a deputy.

- Why is his "X" bigger?
- That's right, Mr. Hogg.

Keep that up and you're gonna be

an ex-sheriff, alright.

Alright. Here, look,
look, look. Big enough?

- That's a biggie.
- That make you happy?

Alright, now, come on.

I wanna get out to
the bank and practice.

So, we know we got it right.

Hey, Boss, and-and little
Flash could be right there

and then we'd
have a tic-tac-toe.

Oh, please, come on. Come on.

Oh, I'm good at games, you know.

- Well, ain't you through yet?
- Yeah, I'm through.

Alright, girls..

I'll tell you what
we'll do. What I'll do.

Bring this tire..

Over to Cooter's garage..

In town and
he'll fix it for y'all.

'Here's your keys.'

And when do you figure
we can pick the tire up?

Me and Bo will bring it when
we meet you for a picnic.

'Jensen's Hollow in
say about an hour?'

- Oh, we'll bring the food.
- Yeah.

- Bo'll bring the tire.
- Alright.

Food and the tire.

Well, I've eaten worse.

Enos, like I showed
you on the chart..

You stand here.

You're supposed to be
right down there by the curb.

- Here.
- That's the idea.

'Wait a minute. I'd
changed all that.'

'You get up here.'

'Oh, way up here.'

Too far away. Get
over here. Both of you.

By-By the curb.
Right here. That's it.

Alright, here with our
hands on our g*ns.

Yeah, and if anybody sh**t
or get any fancy ideas about..

Seen enough of him?

I suppose so.

'You suppose so?'

After month of studying
that boob sheriff

plus all the information
we know about him

you better know so.

When that armored
truck comes in tomorrow..

With the money at noon.

You got to be Rosco P. Coltrane.

Yeah, and make
everyone in town believe it.

Gentlemen, you have
nothing to worry about.

I am more than ready.

Doc sure did one heck of
a plastic job on that face.

'I can't tell 'em apart.'

Me neither. Boy, when
that armored truck guard

compares him with that
photo-positive ID card..

He ain't gonna see
no difference, no way.

We have a saying
in the theater of which

I have been
associated for years..

Let's get the show on the road.

Let's get that sheriff.

Do dee do.

This..

Ho ho, ho ho ho ho,
hoo! What we have here?

Let's try to take
him out of town.

'Police work's my
life. Go on, I tell ya.'

Hey!

'Rosco, come on,
now. Wait a second.'

Looks serious,
uh-huh. Let's see now.

Rosco, you can't write us
a ticket for illegal parking.

You just knocked the General
Lee into the red zone yourself.

Oh, tiddly-turdley. Now, that's
just your word against mine.

You're in a red
zone, you get a ticket.

I've already made it up.

Rosco, do you know
the meaning of integrity?

Uh, are you kidding?

It's something you ain't got.

This is what I think
of your ticket too.

Well, see..

See, that's a shame shame.
Everybody knows your name.

You get another
ticket for that one.

Well, you better go
got another ticket book.

I gotta go get
another ticket book?

You two just freeze it here.

We'll freeze it right here.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

'Oh, I love it. I love it.'

'Police work is my life.'

Hey, Rosco, why
don't you mail it to us?

Aha! I see ya.

See, I knew you
weren't gonna freeze it.

I love it. Hot pursuit.

Come on, Kelly, let's get him.

- What does integrity mean?
- Will you forget that now?

sh**t! Rosco.

No way we're gonna meet
them girls for that picnic now.

Tryin' to get away
from Rosco, huh?

Gah, well, not today.

Oh!

Oh!

Wonder what happened to
him. Ain't like him to give up.

'Maybe his car broke down.
What say we go give him a hand?'

Are you crazy? He'll just
give us some parking tickets.

I know, but we can't just
leave him out here alone.

- Are you sure?
- Turn it around.

'Alright.'

What? What? What?

'Wait a minute here!
You don't go stopping me.'

I just was in a horrendous..

'Well, you know something,
you know, I'm an officer.'

'I'm the law. Listen. Listen.'

'Listen, I'm serious. You're
gonna make me mad.'

Listen, you know, you
know who you've got here?

Listen.. Ooh.

Listen..

'Hang on. Stop it.'

Tire tracks.

Rosco?

- Rosco!
- Rosco.

He's been trapped
in there. Come on.

Any sign of him, Luke?

I can't see anything.
How 'bout you?

No. Go down again.

- Where is he, Luke?
- I don't know.

Rosco!

Rosco!

Luke, he ain't in there.

Come on, let's get out of
here. We gotta get Cooter.

Come on, come on out.

Come on.

Come on.

Ol' Rosco never
could swim a lick.

Luke, if Rosco
ain't in that car..

I know.

He's gone, Luke.

Rosco's gone.

While you reckon it is that
sometimes losing an enemy

is kinda like losing a friend.

Luke, um, I looked
everywhere in that dang car.

He just ain't in there.

I'm gonna look some more.

Ah, ah, ain't no use.

What?

Rosco ain't going anywhere.

I'm gonna call Cooter
and see if he can't get

that wrecker out here.

Uncle Jesse and
Daisy.. Oh, sh**t!

Cooter, Cooter..

This is Luke Duke
calling Cooter Davenport.

'Come on, Luke.'

'Get to the Hazzard Lake
soon. We got big trouble.'

Uncle Jesse, Daisy,
this here's Luke.

We got trouble out
at Hazzard Lake.

Get here, alright?

Uncle Jesse, what do
you think this is all about?

I don't know.

But it worries me that Luke
couldn't tell us over the CB.

'Oh, no!'

'Oh, my God!
What.. Uncle Jesse.'

Well, we-we dove down
a couple times and, uh..

Couldn't find no body anywhere.

There's no sign of Rosco.

Poor Rosco.

'I guess we made him chase
us too many times, Luke?

Uncle Jesse, we didn't
mean no harm in it.

It isn't you that decides when
somebody's time comes to go.

Good Lord does that.

Well, whether we like it or not,
there's some things we gotta do.

Uh, Cooter, get your tow
truck, and let's get that car

out of there and..

I guess somebody's gonna
have to tell J.D. and Lulu.

Well, let's get at it.

Fortunately friends,
the only thing hurt

about Rosco is his pride.

Careful, sheriff.
You'll hurt yourself.

Just relax, you
ain't going nowhere.

Alright, now, I
got it figured out.

- This is a kidnapping, right?
- Wrong.

Ooh! Well, how much
money do you want?

- Nothing.
- Well, I can raise that.

Believe me, sheriff,
you're not kidnapped.

We just, uh, borrowed
you for a while.

Borrowed? That rattles my slats.
You don't borrow a human being.

You borrow a cup of sugar maybe.

Alright, you mavericks,
what are you really up to?

Take the blindfold off.

See if he can figure
out what we're up to.

Yeah, well, ya finally
come to your senses, see?

Through fear and..

Ooh!

'I me.. You're me.'

'I mean I'm you.'

Mama didn't tell me
there was two of us.

And there isn't.

There's only one
Rosco P. Coltrane

and that's me, you dipstick.

You can't be me. I'm me.

No. Not as long as
I'm you, there is no you

just me being you.

Geh doh doh.

Well, you can't fool me.

Listen here, I've
got an advantage

because I've known
me a lot longer

than you have, so there.

My dear Mr. Coltrane, now there
can't be two sheriffs in Hazzard

when that armored car
gets there, can there?

Can it, Woody.
You talk too much.

Ohh, see, oh..

Oh, shame shame,
everybody knows your name.

Now, I know what you're up to.

You're after that federal
reserve money, aren't ya?

'Well, I'll tell you one
thing, it won't work.'

Ill tell-I'll tell you why.
Because that driver

he's got a positive
ID photo of me

and he can tell
it's me in a second.

- You really think so, huh?
- Yeah.

Well, I don't.

And if he can't, then
you get the blame.

Guh ge goo, you dipstick.
Oh, I love it, I love it.

Where is he?

Meanwhile, Boss was
spittin' fire 'cause ol' Rosco

wasn't there for another
practice session to protect

the federal reserve money.

It's been two
hours since he left

to get himself a big orange.

Shee! Uhh!

I sure wish the sheriff
was here, too, Mr. Hogg.

Flash here won't eat
anything I try to give her.

She's real loyal, ain't she?

That ain't all she is.

Flea-bitten hound.

Uh! Oh.

Well, well, well, well.
Lookie here, lookie here.

'Hey, Uncle Jesse. Hey, Daisy.'

All you Dukes together
in one big bunch.

Just like bananas.

Did you get that joke? You
want me to explain it to ya?

J.D., uh, there's
somethin' we gotta tell ya.

- Huh?
- We, uh..

Uncle Jesse, we-we'll
step outside, alright?

Uh... yeah.

Uh, J.D., why don't you
and Enos sit down over here?

- Sit down?
- Yeah.

I got myself the
feeling that you're aimin'

to tell me somethin'
I don't want to hear.

Uh, Enos, just sit down there.

Alright, I'm sittin'.
Go on, tell me.

Now, fellas..

'...I guess the best way
to do it is just to get at it.'

- We've lost Rosco.
- Yeah, well, so have I.

Went out of here two hours
ago, ain't seen him since.

What I'm tryin' to tell
you, J.D. is that Rosco is..

Passed on.

Sheriff Rosco's dead?

His car went off
into Hazzard Lake

and went right to the bottom.

He's done that s of times

goin' into the lake
and walked away.

This time he didn't
walk away, J.D.

Where is he, Uncle Jesse?

We don't know.

The boys dove on
the car several times

and they couldn't find him.

We figured that maybe
them currents out there

in Hazzard Lake
just... pulled him away.

Rosco's really gone, huh?

Sorry, J.D.

Lulu. Who'll tell Lulu?

Well, we figured..

That you'd want to do that.

Yeah, I wanna do
that. I better call her.

What am I gonna tell her?
What am I gonna tell her?

Flash girl, don't
you worry none.

I'll take good care of ya.

Just like the good sheriff
would if he were still here.

Uncle Jesse, I think, uh..

Luke and me run
over to the church.

- Say a few words for Rosco.
- I think we'd all like to.

Daisy and I'll go along.

Of course, the Dukes
had no way of knowing it

but Rosco was
doing his own praying

to get free from them
bandits and back to his job

'cause about all he
had left was pride.

Woody, we got a
problem. It's all over the CB.

Everybody thinks
the sheriff drowned

when his car went in that lake.

D'oh! Are you kidding?

Everybody thinks I'm dead?

Well, listen, let
me out of here.

I gotta get to
that funeral before

before they bury me alive.

'What should we do, Arnie?'
We can't have Woody here

playing the part of a dead man.

Hold it.

- They think he's dead, right?
- Right.

'When you show
up, you just act out'

'a nice cock 'n bull
story for everybody'

how ya pulled
yourself outta that lake.

Right.

I just wander around in
the woods for, say, hours

then I come out and I pretend

like I-I don't
remember anything.

Good, they'll buy that.

Are you kiddin'?

Nobody in his right
mind would buy that.

I don't even buy that.

Ah, you make it sound like I hit
my head on a rock or somethin'.

Thanks, sheriff, that's good.

We'll use it.

You hit your head on a rock.

I like that.

I can just play it stupid
like the sheriff here

for giving us the idea.

Who you, who're you
calling dumb you pea picker.

Well, I'll just, I'll
give ya, I'll just..

That night, Boss and Lulu

had about all they
could say grace over

consoling each
other about Rosco.

Dear dear, baby brother.

I've lost my dear dear friend..

And a devoted
business associate.

He's gone to his reward.

Yeah, just reward, just reward.

Oh, honeykins, we've
got to give Rosco

the biggest wake ever seen.

It will be, it will
be Angel fruitcake.

I promise you. I'm sure
half the county will be there.

Oh, yeah.

The next morning, three
things was happening.

The Dukes were on
their way to Boss' house

to pay their respects
to Lulu and Boss.

That armored truck
with one million dollars

was already on its way
to Boss' bank in Hazzard.

And them bandits
with that fake Rosco

was on their way to Hazzard
to steal the armored car money.

How's that?

Good enough.

Need help, Jesse?

Hey, folks.

Looks like Uncle
Jesse is going to have

to cut back to a dozen
biscuits, ain't he?

He's got it.

Hey Daisy.

You'll just go right in.

Mr. and Mrs. Hogg will be
receivin' in the living room.

- Alright.
- Thank you.

Alright, now, just remember,
if there's any change

when that money's
comin' in, you give us a call.

Yup.

- Don't worry.
- Good luck, sheriff.

- Hurt ya?
- Think hurt.

And so that phoney
Rosco was on his way.

While the real Rosco
wasn't goin' nowhere.

It's that good,
huh? Guh-h, guh-h.

- Oh, Daisy.
- Lulu.

We're so sorry, Lulu.

J.D..

We're sorry about Rosco.

Boss, Rosco was a..

He was a human being.

Oh, Lulu, we're so sorry.

We're sorry for you,
too, Flash honey.

Oh..

Oh-h.

Possum on a gumbush.

It can't be.

It can't be.

Please let it be.

It is, it is!

It's the sheriff,
it's the sheriff.

He's alive!

He's alive. Ha ha ha.

Everybody, everybody, everybody.

Everybody, it's the sheriff!

Oh, no no no.

It's alright. It's
alright, Enos.

Yes. It's the
sheriff. He's alive!

- What?
- He's alive, he's here alive.

- He's alive!
- Sheriff!

Oh, Rosco, ha ha!

You're alive, yes, you're alive.

Oh, my baby brother ain't dead.

Rosco, let me look at you,
you're real. Let me feel ya.

Come everybody,
feel him, feel him.

Oh, Rosco!

Welcome home.

Oh, dear, thank you.

How you guys just, o-oh..

We are the happiest to see ya.

We looked everywhere for
you. We was prayin' for ya.

Looks like you took
quite a lick there, Rosco.

Oh yes. See what happened
is just when I went into that lake

and I had to swim out,
then I hit my head on a rock.

And now I feel a little queasy.

You know what bothers me?

I'd believe him in
a New York minute.

Rosco, your poor head,
it's all black and blue.

I think we'd better get you
to Doc Appleby's right away.

Well, uh... the-the doc..

Well, I went to see Doc Ap..

Um, he said it was
just a minor injury.

Doesn't look so minor to me.

Look, sheriff, there's
Flash, come out to say hello.

Uh, oh, yes. There's
the puppy. Ha ha.

Oh, well, did you miss me, boy?

Flash is a girl.

Uh, I meant girl, you know..

I think she snapped at
me, I think that she's mad

because I haven't been
around to feed her, you know.

Oh, oh, Boss.. Uh, uh, listen..

Um, have you forgotten
about the armored car?

Huh? What armored car?

Ah, the one that's
bringing the money in.

Bringing what money?

Oh-h-h.

The armored car
bringing the money.

Oh, my goodness.
You're passing away.

Well, it just took my
mind right off of that.

Lookie here. It's o'clock,
only got one hour left.

- Gotta get my hat.
- Uh, yes. Let's hurry.

- Uh, Rosco?
- What?

Excuse me, but, uh..

You remember that parking ticket

you tried to give Luke
and me, this morning?

- We'd be proud to take them.
- Won't give you a run for it.

Ha-ha.

Parking.

Oh, those parking tickets.

Well, uh, forget about
those parking tickets.

Because I've got other
things to think about.

Rosco, come on,
come on, come on.

Don't-don't stand there.
Enos, you too, come on.

Well, he must've taken
quite a knock on the head.

He's actin' awful
strange, ain't he?

Strange? When he puts off
givin' you a ticket that ain't strange.

That's downright weird.

Well, he sure has
been through a lot.

Yeah.

He gets a little rest,
he'll be his old self again.

I suppose.

Hm, that business about Flash.

Well, it's good to
see him alive again.

Yeah.

We don't need
these things anymore.

- Uh-uh.
- No.

As long as we're
here, why don't we

just go do some shopping?

- Come on, Daisy.
- Alright, Uncle Jesse.

- I'll walk with y'all.
- Get me some socks?

Hey, sh**t, we forgot
to give him his hat.

- Let's go do it.
- Alright.

- Ain't it somethin'?
- It is.

Good to see him back.

Now, meanwhile
that armored truck

with that million dollars
was running smack on time

to make Hazzard at high noon.

And them bandits were
counting the minutes

to get their hands
on that money, too.

Boss was puttin' Enos and
that phoney Rosco through

the final security practice

for when the
armored truck arrived.

So you remember everything
that you're supposed to do?

I certainly do,
Boss. I certainly do.

Oh, excuse us.

Hold everything.
Hold everything.

What's going on here?

Well, in all the excitement
about seeing Rosco alive..

We forgot to give him his
hat. We found it in your car.

'Alright, he's got his
hat, now, you get.'

'You hear, go on.'

Uh, uh, I appreciate it, Luke.

This is Bo, sheriff.

Yeah, I'm Luke, Rosco.

He's, he's Luke.

Uh, of course you are.

I know that, it's just, uh,

I have this tremendous
pain in my head.

Yeah. We can see that.

Alright, he's got
a pain in his head.

Give him air, give
him room. Get, get, get.

Glad you ain't dead, Rosco.

Alright then. Oh,
now where were we?

Let's see..

Oh, dang, blast that phone.

J.D. Hogg here.

Well, ain't you gonna say it?

- Oh, uh, say what?
- What you always say.

Which is..

Say hello from Rosco.

Say hello from Rosco.

I will not.

J.D. Hogg here. Yeah?

More trouble.

That call was from
the armored truck driver

telling Boss that
they had a flat tire.

And were goin'
to be an hour late

delivering that money.

Alright. Yeah.

Oh, bad news.

- Bad news?
- Yeah.

Flat tire on that armored truck.

- Oh-h.
- Yeah, I mean..

That million dollars
is gonna be one hour

late getting here.

Well, I gotta do
somethin' meanwhile.

I'm going in my office
and settle accounts.

Rosco, Enos, you
learn that map byheart.

That phoney Rosco also
realized that he had to get

to a private phone to tell his
buddies of the time change

of that armored truck.

O-oh, I, uh..

Enos, you stay here and
study the chart, you dipstick.

I've got other business.

But, sheriff, Mr. Hogg
told us to keep on practicin'.

Sir?

There's only two public
phone booths in Hazzard.

And right now, both
of them are busy.

In this one, that phoney Rosco
was telling his fellow bandits

about the armored
truck's arrivin' at Boss' bank

an hour later than planned.

And in this one, Bo and
Luke were on the wire

with ol' Doc Appleby
about Rosco's behavior

since the accident.

Wh-uh, Rosco had an accident?

I didn't know that.

I haven't seen
him in quite a spell.

Well, that's funny.

Why would he lie about
something like that?

Well, I'm not saying he lied.

He might've had a concussion
and if he had a concussion

he could think he
came to see me.

Or anything else
for that matter.

sh**t. Is there anything
me and Bo can do?

Well, yes, Luke, there is.

If he's hurt, get him here

to the Capital City
Hospital for some tests.

That's easier said than
done but we'll give it a sh*t.

Thanks a lot. Talk to you later.

What's easier said..
What'd he say?

He said Rosco may
have a concussion.

He wants him over
at Capital City Hospital

as soon as possible for tests.

Any idea how we're gonna
get Rosco in the car with us?

May take a little
arm-twisting, come on.

Alright.

Hi, sheriff. That
didn't take long.

You wanna practice what to do
when that armored truck arrives?

No, Enos. Not now, I-I've got a
headache. Where's the aspirin?

In the medicine cabinet
over there like always, sheriff.

Oh, of course, it is.

Oh, this thing is
driving me absolutely..

If you're hungry, I
can get you something

to eat over at Vinnie's.

Uh, who's Vinnie?

Remember, sheriff, he
makes your favorite pies of pie.

Hey, Enos. How're you doin'?

'Hey, Bo. Hey, Luke.'

Wh... what are you doing here?

Well, uh..

Doc Appleby said that you might
have some sort of concussion.

And he told us to bring you
over to Capital City Hospital.

Yeah, to get some tests done.

No. I'm not going over there.

Rosco, you ain't yourself.

You've been forgettin'
things, you ain't well.

Well, that's for sure,
come on, Rosco

we're taking you to
the hospital, Rosco?

I'm not going anywhere, o-o-h.

- Sheriff?
- Oh!

I'm sorry, sheriff.

But you ain't yourself.
Bo and Luke's right.

'You best do like what
Doc Appleby says now.'

You know, Enos,
you're a traitor.

'That's what you are.'

Uh, we're supposed to be over
there with that armored truck

when it comes in with the money.

I can handle that myself.

And I ain't a traitor, sheriff.

- I'm your friend.
- Well, I know.

Uh, well, uh, listen.

I'll go with you
to the hospital.

I just have to put
these on the Boss' desk.

Not that way, sheriff.

- Rosco.
- Hmm?

Sheriff, the other way, sheriff.

It's just this headache.
It's got me crazy.

Ha, it's just..

I ain't never seen
nothin' like this.

Even in the Marines..

Uncle Jesse and Daisy
ain't gonna believe it.

I know.

Yeah.

'This is Woody.'

They're taking me to
Capital City Hospital.

They're taking you where?

The Capital City Hospital.

Now, listen, if you want
me to meet that armored car

you better get me out of this.

We're on our way.

Get him out of here.

Oh, well, you finally
come to your senses, huh?

Alright.

Alright.

I'm ready to go to
the hospital now.

You're doing the
right thing, sheriff.

- Come on, let's get going.
- Yeah.

Now, them bad dudes

had stashed poor
Rosco in the closet.

And took off to intercept
an unsuspectin' Bo and Luke.

Bo and Luke were taking that
phoney Rosco to the hospital

that armored truck
recovered and was getting

closer to Hazzard
with that million dollars.

'Listen, boys, I'm not
really feelin' that bad.'

'Let's forget
about the hospital.'

'Just take me back to Hazzard?'

Let the doctor be
the judge of that.

- Alright, Rosco?
- Oh, look, please, Bo.

Rosco, for crying out loud, you
keep making the same mistake.

That's Luke. I'm
Bo. You're sick.

Gotta be along here somewhere.

This is the only
road to Capital City.

'There, there they are.'

What in the heck is he doing?

No idea but you're
gonna get to talk

to him, looks like.

You see that? He's trying
to run us off the road.

Of course I saw
that. Who are they?

Dang it.

Listen, that is a
direct violation.

Pull 'em over, and
I'll give them a ticket.

I think I'll just run
away right now.

Do it, Bo, step on it.

- I said pull it over.
- 'Rosco.'

Now, how would you
like to try to explain

to Bo and Luke,
what was going on?

'Rosco.'

Alright, fellas,
get your hands up.

Get over here.

Are you satisfied now, Rosco?

Nice work, Woody.

Woody? Who the heck is Woody?

Gentlemen..

I'm Woody.

I thought you country bumpkins
would enjoy a good performance.

Rosco, what are you talking so
funny for, come on back over...

Bo, it ain't Rosco.

What are you
saying? Look at him.

- 'It ain't Rosco.'
- It ain't Rosco.

I can't believe we went
for that hit in the head story.

That's why he got everything
wrong back there in town.

- Flash knew he was a phoney.
- You, shut up!

Hey, what did you do with Rosco?

Arnie, Kelly, get
them in the car.

Come on, fellas.
Let's go for a ride.

- Get in there.
- I'm going.

While them bandits took Bo
and Luke up to their hideout

that million dollars was
on its final leg before

hitting the Boss'
bank in Hazzard.

Where Boss was
furious with Rosco

for not being there to help.

Uh-h.

You boys just sit tight.

'Cause you're not going
nowhere for a long time.

Money's due in
Hazzard in minutes.

Let's get going.

Ahh. Is that, that tight?

Shut up!

Yes, sir.

Can't be too careful,
now, can we, boys?

Ease on over here. I'll see
if I get a hold of your Kn*fe.

Come on.

'Bo, you're good at this.'

- 'Well, can you open it?'
- 'Here we go.'

What the heck was that?

I don't know, we better
check it out after we get loose.

- Aah!
- There you go.

Here, help me out.

Yeah.

Take it..

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Hey!

- Rosco!
- Rosco!

Everyone thought you was dead.

We thought they
k*lled you for sure.

Let me get this down.

No k*ll Rosco P.
Coltrane. That'll be the day.

Listen, wait till I get
a hold of those two.

Especially that ugly
one that looks like me.

We gotta go to town before that
armored car gets here, alright?

Put your clothes on and
let's get on outta here.

They done scuffed
the wrong man here..

Rosco P. Coltrane.
Are you kidding me?

Wing it.

'This is pretty good.'

Hit it!

That Rosco..

That money's gonna
be here any minute.

Mr. Hogg, sir?

I don't know where he is.

Sir, I think..

We're on time.

Get going, Woody,
and make it good.

Woody does not give
a good performance

he gives the best.

I love it, I love it.

Meanwhile, Bo
and Luke was taking

every shortcut they knew
and inventin' a few more

to get to Hazzard on time.

Oh, no. Hold it. Oh-h-h.

'Hang on, y'all.'

Now that was a new one.

Hey, Rosco, you can come up now.

Guh! O-oh, o-oh.

Luke tried raising Boss
and Enos on the CB

to warn 'em, but nobody
had their ears on it.

Hey, Enos, this
here's Luke Duke.

Lost Sheep calling in straight.

Rosco P. Coltrane
reporting for duty, sir.

You, it's about time,
too! Where ya been?

That armored truck's
due to arrive any second.

Oh-ho, well, I'm sorry I'm late.

Why you here, sheriff?

You should be at the
hospital with Bo and Luke.

'Huh, wh-what..'

'Oh, never mind about
that, look look look.'

'That armored
truck is coming now.'

'Alright, go on go on.
Get the cards checked.'

Alright, come on. Come on.

'Alright, get over there
and show 'em your card.'

There was no way that guard
was gonna deliver that money

till he made sure that he was
dealing with the right people

by checking his company's
ID of Rosco and Enos.

Now, can you imagine
an armored car company

turning over a million
dollars to them two?

I hear a tale that says
they've gone out of business.

Alright, you seen the
cards? Alright, good, good.

Alright, let's get
the money now.

- Oh, and here comes the money.
- There comes the money.

And, Rosco, you be alert
in case there's any trouble.

You already have
trouble, fat man.

Let me have that.

Alright, you, drop your
weapons. Drop 'em!

Have you lost your mind? What
is this, some kind of joke, huh?

- That sound like a joke?
- No.

- Rosco!
- Get in there!

Shut up!

Shut up.

Rosco!

- Come on.
- I was brilliant!

Well, it is a pretty
slick plan, ain't it?

'Help!'

'Help! Help!'

'Let us out of here.
Grab them. Grab them.'

They stole a million dollars!
You caught one of them crooks.

Rosco P. Coltrane, listen

you stole my money,
you double-crosser.

- You're nothing but a renegade.
- Listen here.

Don't call me that. I
didn't steal anything.

We saw you with our own eyes.

- It was you!
- No, you didn't see me.

What you saw was, he was
me and I was him. But I mean...

Boss, look, the Rosco that stole
the money ain't the real Rosco.

'We ain't got time
to explain right now.'

- 'Which way they're headed?'
- You're all crazy!

I overheard them saying they
were headed for the state line.

Let's go!

'Arrest them.
They're getting away.'

He's gettin' away.
Rosco's gettin' away.

- Go after him. Where's the car?
- There it is.

There it is. Come on, let's
go. Let's get out of here.

Listen, fellers. They're
so far ahead of us.

I don't think we can catch
'em with the General Lee.

If we take Miller
Road to the crossroads

we can cut 'em off.

That's if they take
the crossroads.

They will with a little
friendly persuasion.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd.
Lost Sheep to Shepherd.

'Get your ears and come back.'

This is Shepherd. Come back.

So, Bo put in a call
to Jesse and Daisy

and told them what happened.

Bo asked Jesse and
Daisy to set up roadblocks

that would force the bandits
towards the crossroads.

- We'll take care of that.
- That's a big - .

I'll take Spruce
Lane, Uncle Jesse.

Alright, I got Little Road.

sh**t, I forgot about
this gully. Hang on!

'Ohh g-ggaah!'

Ooh. Ohh! Ohh!

'Ah! Watch it. Watch it! Ah!'

You know, either them
jumps are getting longer

or I'm getting older.

Look out!

Lost Sheep. Lost
Sheep, this is Bo Peep.

'That car you wanted just
headed on Spruce Lane.'

Yeah, that's a big - ,
Bo Peep. Thanks a lot.

This is Shepherd to Lost
Sheep. Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

The car you wanted just
went up Old Mill Road.

You shouldn't have
any trouble at all.

There they are, right there.

Hang on, I'm gonna bang him.

'Rosco, be careful now.'

You know, them
fish in Hazzard Lake

has all got battle fatigue.

- Hold it right there.
- What?

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane
will take care of this.

- I don't need no help.
- Alright.

Alright...

Gimme... gimme that. Alright,
get up there. Get up there.

'Come on over here now.'

'Just get on over
here on the car.'

Alright, you just gimme
that. You imposter!

Let me have it. Let me have it!

You shouldn't have said that.

Ooh.

Ow!

Get in there. Don't you move.

'Alright. There they
are! Arrest them, Enos!'

Since you're here,
Enos, take these guys.

Arrest everybody! And
arrest him! Him! Him!

Rosco the renegade!
Only don't hurt him

'on account he's already
been hit on the head.'

'But I think, uh..'

'Mr. Hogg! Which Rosco
you want me to arrest?'

'There's two of 'em.'

Holy Hannah,
there are two of 'em.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Two Roscos? I don't believe it!

'B-but w-w-which
one is the real Rosco?'

Are you kidding? I
am the real Rosco.

- You?
- Yeah!

That's the imposter right there.

Yeah, but he looks like
you. He's dressed like you.

And he's even got
that knucklehead look

'on his face like you.'

Well, never mind
that. I'll prove it to ya.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Would he give you the money?
- Oh, my money! My money!

And would he call you
little fat buddy and go, guhh..

Don't do that! No.
He wouldn't do that.

No. Nobody would
do that but you.

- That's me.
- You're the real Rosco!

- Oh, sheriff.
- Now, I know.

And that's what Luke
Duke meant when he said

"The Rosco who stole the
money ain't the real Rosco."

No. Alright, listen.

Dukes, thank you very much.

'You're welcome.'

Don't arrest them.
Arrest these crooks.

'You think you look like me?'

Where were we when we
got into this whole thing?

Ah..

- The Hansen girls.
- The Hansen girls.

- Uh, listen, we got..
- Y'all know how to get home?

- We'll, uh, see you later.
- When we get there.

Law enforcement is my life.

Hello. Oh, I love it. Alright.

Here's a parking ticket.

Well, Rosco got
his identity back.

Boss got his sheriff back.

The Duke boys
got two traffic tickets

and missed the
girls at the picnic.

Flash got his appetite back.

And there's still about
three hours left before dinner.

Just enough time for
something else to go wrong.