06x08 - Targets: Daisy and Lulu

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Now, first, ain't nobody
chasing the General Lee.

It's just that a very unusual
occurrence has occurred.

The airplane's arriving on
time at the Capitol City Airport.

So naturally, Bo
and Luke are late

to pick up Daisy and
Lulu who are on that plane.

It was awful nice
of Lulu to take Daisy

all the way to New
Orleans, wasn't it?

Sure was. Price is
right. All expenses paid.

Seems like a long way to go
just to buy a couple of dresses.

Boss can afford it.

Besides, it was his th
anniversary gift to Lulu.

Twenty-five years
with Boss Hogg.

There ain't no present
big enough for that.

Perish the thought.

Now, when Daisy
and Lulu's plane arrived

Lulu was missing
a piece of luggage.

That ain't unusual.

Which bag is it?

Well, it's my small carrying
case with gold stripes on it.

Oh, yeah. Maybe
you left it on the plane.

Right. Well, I better go
check the baggage, Daisy.

Okay, I'll stay here.

- 'Honey, do that.'
- Okay.

Now, that sure does look
like the case that Lulu said

she's missing. But it ain't.

That fellow's carrying the
famous Osborne diamond necklace

to a special
showing in Nashville.

And I'm already
smelling trouble.

That was pretty slow, actually.

Now, that stuff is
chloroform, folks.

It sure do b*at counting sheep

when you're laying
in bed with a big eye.

Did you find your bag?

There's not a sign of it, Daisy.

'I think someone
must've walked off with it.'

- Oh, no.
- That's the only thing..

Speak of the devil.
Look, there it is.

Come on, let's go.

Here you are, Mr. Lipton.
Worked like a charm, as always.

We checked. Them
sparklers is in there.

Good work, men. This
is our best heist yet.

Now, you, uh, you
disappear for a few days

and then you call me.

Okay.

Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

Just a minute there. Hold
on, buster. Not so fast.

- That case is mine.
- Yeah.

Madam, I'm sure
you are mistaken.

No, I ain't. It's mine.

It certainly is hers.
Please give it back to her.

My dear lady, I assure
you this is my case.

I am not your dear
lady and you are a liar!

Oh, now listen, I have
a way to work it out.

We shall open
that and you'll see

'that all of Lulu's personal
belongings are in there.'

Oh, that's a good idea,
Daisy. What do you say?

Uh, I don't think
that'll be necessary.

I see now that this is,
uh, this is not my case.

My case has my initials
on it. This one doesn't.

Madam, my apologies.

Accepted, sir.

There's Bo and Luke!

Oh, come on, Daisy.

'Hey, Bo! Luke, hi!'

- Hey!
- Hey, Daisy!

- How you doing, Daisy?
- Fine.

Our luggage is over there.

Good to see you.

What's going on here?
Who were those women?

- Never saw 'em.
- Well, go after them.

That necklace is worth
over $ , . I want it back.

But don't get caught.

Because I can't afford
to be tied to this thing.

This all yours?

It's nice to be home.

Yeah. I hope that
General Lee can drive

with all that
stuff you just got.

Uh-huh, that's Lulu's case.

And I'm seeing more trouble
for the Dukes than a new baby.

- A good time, wasn't it?
- Oh, we had a great time!

- Ate any gumbo there?
- We sure did.

We had everything
they had to offer.

I bet you did.

They're going pretty fast.

It's hard to keep up
with them on these roads.

- This will slow 'em down.
- What was that?

'g*nshots. Get down.'

- We lost 'em.
- Oh, thank goodness!

You ladies just relax because
next stop is home sweet home.

Phew! You didn't have to plan
such a great reception for us.

I'll say not.

Wonder what that was all about.

I don't know. Can't
want our money.

sh**t, we're broke.

Meanwhile, them fellas
were facing the fun job

of explaining to their boss
about losing the General.

You boys just find out
where that orange car lives

and bring me back
that necklace. You hear?

Right, Mr. Lipton.

And after you get it back,
eliminate those two females.

They can identify me
and that wouldn't do at all.

Okay.

Now that Lipton fella plays
some hard ball, don't he?

And Daisy's right there
in the thick of things.

I can't wait to see you
in that purple dress.

I know, and them little red
shoes. You know, they match.

'Aren't you gonna
hand it to me?'

You can handle a
couple more cases.

- Yeah, sure.
- There's another one.

- I got them.
- Oh, man.

I think they bought half
of New Orleans here.

Luke, this is getting
kind of heavy...

You can handle another one.

Bo!

Holy smoke!

Look at that.

- Would you take...
- Oh!

Hope nothing's
breakable in the there.

I don't think so.

That thing sure
is pretty, ain't it?

Be careful now.

You don't suppose
them guys was following...

This would be plenty to
make them guys sh**t at us.

They followed us
from the airport.

They could've tracked
Lulu from New Orleans.

You don't suppose they
saw her buy it, do you?

Could be.

Why don't we call Rosco
and tell him all about it?

'Oh, they're here already.'

Or we save ourselves
the dime. Here he comes.

Hey, Rosco.

You Duke boys
sure did a good deed

by picking up
Lulu at the airport

and bringing her here 'cause
she had all that luggage to carry.

I suppose you're
expecting a big tip.

You're gonna give
these Dukes a tip?

Oh, I'm gonna give 'em a tip.

And here's a tip. You
ain't getting no tip.

Boss, would you wait a second?

That don't concern us right now.

What does concern is that
somebody took sh*ts at us

on the way back
from the airport.

Somebody sh*t at
you? Is my Lulu alright?

Bo and Luke told Boss and Rosco

about the car chasin'
and sh**t' at 'em.

And how they
figured that them fellas

was after that diamond necklace
that they saw in Lulu's case.

Ooh!

You mean to tell me Lulu
bought a diamond necklace?

She bought a diamond
necklace? With whose money?

- We'll see about this.
- Yeah, let's see about...

- Rosco?
- What?

We told you they sh*t at us.
Ain't you gonna do anything?

Of course, I am.

Just-just, just go over
to my office and tell Enos.

Tell him to get an APB
out on those varmints.

- We'll do that.
- If you do this.

- Wait a minute.
- We got stuff to do.

- Take this stuff inside.
- Listen, I'm not..

Wait a minute.

- Wait, on second thought...
- Take a step up.

- Wait a minute.
- You're headed for the mailbox.

Take a left here.
Alright, now, straight up.

About ten feet in front
of you are the stairs.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Oh-h-h!

Ah-h!

- Rosco!
- 'What?'

- What did you do?
- 'Oh, well..'

Somebody left a
stupid hat box right here.

You knocked right into
me for goodness sakes.

Give me this. Now,
where's my necklace?

- Where's my necklace?
- I don't have it.

You're a menace, you know that?

We gotta find it. I had a
diamond necklace here.

Oh!

- Oh, there it is. There it is.
- Oh, there it is.

- Isn't that beau... hey, listen.
- Huh?

- Did you break that?
- Oh, did I break it?

- You can't break this!
- No.

- They're real diamonds, dodo.
- Oh, real diamonds.

Yeah.

Ooh, aren't those
pretty? Let me see it.

What in the world is
going on down here?

What in the world is
all this racket, J.D.?

Oh, you sweet,
dear, little old darling!

Is that a welcome home gift
for me, or for our anniversary?

- Wait a minute.
- Oh, I love it.

Wait a minute!
They ain't neither!

And you know it.

Lulu, how dare you spend
my hardly earned cash

I mean, my hard-earned cash

on something so extravagant
as a diamond necklace?

Dumpling, I didn't buy that.

- You didn't buy it?
- 'No.'

- Did you take it on approval?
- 'No.'

- 'Did you rent it?'
- No!

- 'Did they gift it to you?'
- No!

Wait, wait. Wait a minute
here. It's my turn to guess.

'No, it's still my turn.'

What I wanna know in
the name of all that's holy

is how this diamond necklace
got in your traveling case.

Oh, my goodness!

Lulu, remember that man at
the airport with the carnation

and we thought
he took your case?

- Yeah.
- Well, guess what?

- You mean he didn't?
- No!

Well, that poor man. We
gotta get that necklace to him

and then get my case back.

Uh, precious, cupcake, uh,
Rosco and I, being officers of the law

well, we'll just return this
case to the rightful owner.

Right.

And I'll bet there'll be a
nice reward in it for us too.

Jefferson, now you
forget that reward

and do something
decent for once in your life.

Oh-oh, alright, cream puff.

Um, I'll forget all
about the reward.

Good. Oh, Daisy,
let's go up and try on

some of these
dresses we just bought.

Oh, that's right. You go on up
and try on some of those dresses

you just bought. Try
on lots and lots and lots

and lots of them
dresses you just bought.

On account of they'll be paid
for by this diamond necklace.

Oh! But, Boss, you told Lulu

that you weren't gonna
collect any reward.

I know what I said. I said I
wasn't gonna collect no reward.

But I never said
nothing about fencing it.

Oh, I knew it. I knew it.

Which is exactly
what I'm gonna do now

through my dear old cousin,
Big Dan Hogg of Rapaho.

By now, Bo and Luke was
telling Enos, nice and slow

about what they thought
was the attempted robbery

of Lulu's fancy necklace.

These fellas took a
couple of sh*ts at us.

- Two fellas.
- Two sh*ts?

While Mr. Lipton's
g*ons had found out

where the General Lee lived.

And with Jesse
working out in the field

they just walked in
and tore the place apart

like a pair of
carpetbaggers. They did.

That necklace
sure ain't in there.

What are we all gonna do now?

We're gonna find that fat lady.

Now, even a city boy
could pick out Lulu Hogg

if they had a
description, and they did.

And like it goes sometimes,
Boss and Rosco was leaving

to meet Big Dan
Hogg with the necklace.

And at the same time,
them bad boys showed up.

- Like it?
- Ah, it's gorgeous.

How do you like
them little red shoes?

They're so pretty. Just..

Not a sound, ladies.

Just hand over that case
you took from us at the airport.

There-there's no need
to be upset, gentlemen.

It was just a mistake
and I'm very sorry.

There it is, Pete.

There ain't no
necklace in there.

Alright, where is it? Talk!

My husband said that
he was going return it

to its rightful owner.

Hmm, I'll bet he is.

We'll keep you ladies
company till he does exactly that.

Now, look, mister, we
are telling you the truth.

So you just stop waving
those g*ns around, alright?

Luke, I can't tell you who it
was or what they was looking for

but they just turned
this place upside down

and strung it from
here to tarnation.

The whole place is
turned upside down.

- You're kiddin'.
- Listen, Uncle Jesse.

Just start cleaning up
and do what you can.

And me and Bo will get
there as soon as we can.

We gotta pick up Daisy
first. See you later. Bye-bye.

'Why would somebody
tear our house apart?'

I got no idea.

Look, fellas, this
APB just came in

while y'all was on the phone.

All about a diamond necklace.

- Look.
- What?

"Osborne necklace. Worth
over a quarter million dollars."

That sure fits the description
of the one Lulu's got, don't it?

Possum on a gum bush. You
ain't saying Miss Lulu stole it?

No, I ain't saying that.

It's just that maybe
somehow at the airport

she got the wrong
bag or something.

The guys that sh*t us
swiped it. They aim to get it.

- So they tore our house apart.
- Boss' house is next. Let's go.

- They tore up your house?
- We'll fill you in later.

I'm in charge here. I can't
leave. I'll call the sheriff!

Come in, sheriff, this is
Enos. Come in, sheriff.

Look. They got Daisy and Lulu.

Now, this may not be
the time for Bo and Luke

to come on like the cavalry.

Them g*ns they got on
Daisy and Lulu got hair triggers.

- Hey...
- Get away from me!

- Run for it, Lulu!
- Let's get out of here.

- Lulu! Wait! Bo!
- Oh, please!

- 'Oh, thank heavens.'
- Lulu, you alright? Daisy?

- Goodness gracious.
- You okay?

- Oh, Daisy, I don't know.
- Yeah. You okay?

Luke and Bo, thank
goodness you got here in time.

As long as you two
ladies are alright.

We're okay now that you're here.

Those are the same fellas
that were at the airport.

- They're after the necklace.
- That's what we figured.

There's an ABP out on
that necklace. It was stolen.

Stolen? And I was apologizing
for getting the wrong case

at the airport.

The wrong case? Wait a
second, that's what this is about.

- Did they get the necklace?
- No, Boss has the necklace.

- Said he was gonna turn it in.
- That'll be the day.

'Breaker, breaker.'

'I don't know your handle,
but if you own that orange car'

'I wanna talk to you. Come on.'

You got us. This
here is Luke Duke.

Come back this way, we'll
teach you some manners.

Knock off the hero stuff, Luke
Duke. We just want the necklace.

'We ain't got it.'

That fat lady said she
gave it to her husband.

You find it and give it back
to us and we'll be on our way.

- 'If not..'
- "If not" what?

'We'll come back and take
care of them two ladies.'

- Oh, they're gonna k*ll us.
- No, they're not. Take it easy.

Alright, alright. Now,
just listen up a second.

If we get that necklace,
how do we get it to you?

That's real smart, hayseed.

We'll give you that news after
you get it. You just remember..

No police or the deal's off.

And them ladies are gonna
be cashing in their chips.

'You got one
hour. Over and out.'

Listen, Lulu, he's bluffing.
Don't pay him any mind.

- He's bluffing, right?
- I ain't so sure.

We gotta find Boss and
get that necklace fast.

Hold on. Are you thinking
about giving them that necklace?

Not for a minute. But
these guys ain't stupid.

If we set a trap for them,
we need that necklace as bait.

Daisy, did Boss say where he
was going after leaving the house?

Yeah. He said something
about going to the Boar's Nest

to conduct a little business.

We better get over there fast.
Get Uncle Jesse on the CB.

- We got a tire to fix.
- Okay.

Around Hazzard, there's
pigs and there's Hoggs.

Now, not all Hoggs is pigs

which includes Boss'
cousin Big Dan Hogg.

- Alright, where'd you get it?
- Oh, oh, oh, Big Cousin Dan.

I thought you did business
like you always did business.

- No questions asked.
- "No questions asked."

You let one of your
members of your own family

buy merchandize that hot?

- Of course, he would. Tell him.
- Hush up, Rosco. He is family.

- Oh.
- Can't you tell?

- Oh, yeah, 'cause he's just...
- Well, sure he is.

Now then, Cousin Big Dan,
let's get down to business.

How much you gonna offer
me on these here sparklers?

Being you're blood, Cousin
J.D., I'll give you , .

Yeah, well, being as
money is thicker than blood

I'll take $ , .

But family's
closer than friends.

I'll give you .

Yeah, but enemies can
sometimes take advantage of family

so I'll take .

- 'I'll give you .'
- Twenty-six.

- Twenty-four.
- Twenty-six.

- Twenty-four!
- Twenty-six!

- Twenty-five.
- Twenty-five.

- 'Done!'
- Done.

You strike a hard
bargain, Cousin J.D.

- Is that it? Wait a minute.
- That's it, Cousin J.D.

I don't figure them two to be
too long on smarts or patience

which means time is
running out for Daisy and Lulu

if that necklace don't
get delivered pretty soon.

Alright. Come on, Daisy.

- 'We're not getting out.'
- 'I know that.'

Twenty-five thousand simoleons.

Twenty-five thousand big ones.

- Wait, what's all this?
- Boss, we need that necklace.

And so they all told
Boss the whole story

about them fellas
who stole the necklace

and were now threatening
to k*ll Daisy and Lulu for it.

Threatened you? I'd curl up and
die if anything happened to you

my poor little Lulu.
And you too, Daisy.

I mean, this whole
thing just makes me sick.

Well, then, give us the
necklace. That's all we need.

I can't give you the
dang thing. I ain't got it.

And Boss told them about
fencing the necklace to Big Dan

who was on his way
back to Capitol City with it.

Y'all do realize that this
wouldn't have happened at all

if Boss was honest...
or pigs could fly.

You better get a hold of Big Dan
Hogg and get that necklace back.

Somebody's gotta watch Daisy
and Lulu, so you boys go on.

That sounds like a good idea.

- That hour they gave us is up.
- That's right.

Listen, I'll take over from
here on. Alright, let's go.

You watch over Daisy
and Lulu real good, Jesse!

'Where's your car, Rosco?'

Come on! You watch 'em now.
Don't let anybody get near 'em.

Big Dan was headed
for Capitol City

and he had a
mighty big head start.

But he wasn't
taking the shortcut.

- Alright, come on.
- 'Alright.'

Cousin Big Dan, Cousin
Big Dan, I gotta talk to you.

Alright, Cousin J.D., so
it's a double-cross, is it?

First you take my money, now
you wanna rob me of the necklace.

Shame on you! Stealing from kin.

Would you just hush up
and let me explain? Listen..

Boss and the boys told
Big Dan about the danger

that Lulu and Daisy was in
if he didn't get that necklace.

And Big Dan was sympathetic.

Uh, to a point.

I think I understand, Cousin
J.D. Lemme get this straight.

- I return the necklace to you.
- Yeah.

- You give me back my , .
- Well, yeah...

Plus , for my
time and expenses.

Wait a minute. That's
highway robbery!

You'd have done the same
thing to me, Cousin J.D.

if the positions was reversed.

- And now that's true.
- 'Would you just hush up?'

Alright, alright, alright,
you're gonna get it back.

Every penny of it.
Here, here, here.

Now, let me just count it out.

- Yeah, there's your money.
- Okay.

- And there's your blood money.
- Thank you, Cousin J.D.

- Now, where's the necklace?
- Here you go.

- Sorry, Boss, time's a-wasting.
- Wait a minute!

- We'll see you back in town.
- Yeah, but...

'Alright, come on.
We better go too.'

'Come on, get in here now.
Get going, will you, Rosco?'

Can't you get... back up there.

Now, come on. Come
on. Oh, no! You did it again.

How can you do that?
Alright, come on now! Come on!

'Alright, let's go.'

What's the good word? Have
you recovered my necklace?

We're working on it. We
should have it within the hour.

Excellent.

And did you take care
of those two women?

Not yet. After we
get the necklace.

Make sure that you do. I cannot
afford to have them identify me.

My... lifestyle would suffer
greatly behind prison bars.

Call me when it's done.

Alright.

Time to make that call.

Breaker, breaker. How about
it, Luke Duke? You out there?

'You know who this is.'

'You better get them ears
on, plowboy or the deal's off.'

Yeah, you've got Luke Duke
right here. We got what you want.

Ain't that nice? That
wasn't too hard, was it?

We kept up our end of
the deal. Now, it's your turn.

We're gonna hand
over that necklace

and we got your word no harm
will come to the ladies, right?

I give you my sacred oath.

Alright. Now, where we gonna
hand this thing over to you?

'There's a little bridge
two miles north of town'

'over a dry wash.'

You're talking
about Willet Bridge.

That's right.

In about minutes, I wanna see

that orange car come
across that bridge.

You throw the necklace out.

Don't stop. Keep
going or the deal's off.

Now, you remember
this, no cops, no tricks..

Or those ladies are not
gonna have any future.

'We're out.'

No tricks, no cops. We got it.

Fell right for our
little trap, didn't he?

- Let's go find Enos.
- Alright.

While them big bad g*ns
were preparing a reception

at Willet Bridge, old Enos
was giving Bo and Luke

a hand with Luke's plan.

Sure hope this works, Luke.

That's them. No sign
of any other cars. Good.

- We got it, Mick. We got it.
- And that ain't all you got.

Personally, I like
doing that more

when there's water in the river.

- I'm coming, Bo. I'm coming.
- Enos, Enos, easy. Enos.

- Here's the jewel.
- You got them.

And so, while the Hazzard
law was taking the two heavies

and the necklace into custody

Bo and Luke took off to tell
Daisy and Lulu the good news.

But it all seemed
a mite too easy.

Wait a minute. You're telling
us that there was a third fella?

Yes, this real good-looking
dude that was wearing a carnation

in his lapel.

That's the one I
grabbed the case from.

Then we're still not
out of the woods, boys.

No, neither are y'all.

They know that you
know what they look like

so they're gonna be coming
after you, you can bet on that.

Our job's cut out. We gotta
find that guy with the carnation.

Let's do it.

And so, while Daisy
and Jesse invited Lulu

out to the farm to rest
and have a bite to eat

the boys made a
beeline for town.

Ain't it sad, Rosco?

I have to turn this beautiful
hunk of diamond fortune

over to the state police.

Boss, Rosco.

Bo and Luke told
old Boss and Rosco

about there being a third man

who might still come
after Lulu and Daisy.

- There's a third.
- Oh!

- Oh, you ain't telling me.
- Are you kidding?

The plot thickens,
can't believe it.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

Those lowlifes, anybody so
low as to harm Lulu and Daisy..

Well, I got even anyway, I
cuffed them and I stuffed them

and I didn't even give
them their one phone call.

Well, that's it. Give
them the phone call.

- 'What? Give 'em a phone call?'
- 'Are you kiddin'?'

The fella they're gonna
call is gonna be the guy

with the carnation.
He'll lead us right to him.

- Ooh.
- Oh! That's right!

- Give them a phone call!
- Give them a phone call.

Go on, Rosco. Have Enos
bring out one of them scums.

Yes.

- 'This is Pete.'
- Well, it's about time.

'Is everything taken care of?'

'Not exactly. We've
been arrested.'

'We're in the
Hazzard County jail.'

'Well, why did you call me?
They can trace the number.'

Not if we don't talk
over seconds.

'I thought you'd wanna know.'

Those two idiots got
themselves caught.

Sounds like that fella wasn't
too happy to hear from him, huh?

Listen, you really think that
sucker's gonna show up here?

That necklace is worth
quarter of a million.

You were gonna
sell it for $ , .

Would you hush up? I wish I'd
never seen that dang necklace.

Right now all I'm worried
about is my dear precious Lulu.

- And Daisy.
- Yeah, and Daisy, of course.

Well, listen, don't you worry
your fat little head about that.

I mean, if that dude does
show up looking for that necklace

Rosco P. Coltrane will
be here waiting for him.

- We'll all be waiting for him.
- That's good.

Oh, I tell you, I
sure hope this works.

Wilbur, it looks like you and
I are gonna have to take care

of those two women personally.

What about the necklace?

My neck is more important
than any necklace.

I'm not gonna let those two
women send me to prison.

What did you say
their names were?

Daisy Duke and Lulu Hogg.

Oh, never mind.

Wilbur..

You're gonna have to
make a telephone call.

Daisy, you make the..

Meanwhile, at the Duke farm,
Daisy was fixing Lulu a snack

while Jesse was taking
care of an emergency.

Two runaway heifers gone looking

for the neighbor's bull.

Hello. Yes, this is Daisy Duke.

Sergeant, who?

Sergeant Katcher, state
police, Capitol City, ma'am.

We have taken into
custody a third suspect

in connection with
the necklace robbery.

We'd like you and your
lady friend, Mrs. Hogg

to drive on down and
make a positive identification

if you would, please.

Oh, yes. Yes, we'd love to.

Good. And if you could hurry,
please, speed is important.

I'll tell you what, we'll take
the Miller Road shortcut

and we'll be there
in less than an hour.

- Miller Road.
- Bye-bye. Oh, Lulu..

Miller Road, here it
is. Nice work, sergeant.

Let's go. We'll take your
car. They know mine.

- Hold on.
- Daisy, take it easy now.

So Daisy wrote Uncle Jesse
a note about what happened.

And she and Lulu
took off for Capitol City.

By now, the man
with the carnation

and the blood in his
eyes was heading straight

for Miller road to
nail Daisy and Lulu.

That boy don't have
no perspective at all.

- You're sure it's gonna work?
- I think it will.

Pretty important guy
to come around here.

- What choice we got?
- Well, I don't know.

Glad you boys are here. Lulu
and Daisy and are on their way

to Capitol City and they
left this note. I don't like it.

"Sergeant Katcher,
state police."

- Let's check it out. Come on.
- Yeah, let's give him a call.

No, that's alright.
Thanks a lot.

There ain't no Sergeant Katcher.

We better call Daisy on the CB.

This is Lost Sheep to Bo
Peep. Come on in, Bo Peep.

But unfortunately, Daisy
and Lulu was out of CB range.

Bo Peep, would
you come in, please?

- We ain't got time for that.
- We can try in the car.

- Well, good.
- Let's get going.

If anything happens
to Daisy and Lulu...

Now, Bo, don't talk like that.

Just keep good
thoughts. Luke, try again.

Just keep at it. Come on.

Bo Peep, this is Lost Sheep
coming at you. Come back.

'Get 'em!'

Daisy, that driver
must be drunk or crazy!

Lulu, remember that
man at the airport?

The fancy man
with the carnation?

- Yeah.
- Well, guess who's with us.

Oh, Lord. Oh, no.
They're out to k*ll us now.

Not if I can help it.

The General, meantime
was closing the gap fast

by taking every
shortcut in the county.

And creating new ones
where there wasn't none before.

This is Lost Sheep
calling Bo Peep.

- Come on.
- Try another channel.

Bo Peep, this is Lost
Sheep. Come back.

Luke! Luke! I hear
you loud and clear.

Daisy, stop. You and
Lulu are headed for trouble.

Honey, if I stop now, we're
gonna be in more trouble.

Remember that man at
the airport, that third man?

- 'Well, he's on our tail.'
- Where are you?

'About a mile from
Hastings crossroads.'

- Be there in a minute.
- Hang on, we're moving now.

- Hold on, Lulu.
- I am, honey.

Ah!

It's that infernal orange car.
Come on, let's get out of here.

Dang it!

Someday, I'm gonna write a book

about Hazzard County
insurance claims.

- You alright, Uncle Jesse?
- I guess so.

I thought I told you. You
know better than that.

I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.

Here. Put your head out the
window, and we'll help you out.

- 'You alright?'
- 'Yeah. Yeah.'

Oh, my goodness.

Thank you, boys, for
saving our lives again.

- Are you alright?
- Yeah, we're alright.

The only thing hurt
on us is our pride.

Boss and Rosco was
following the events

of the day on the CB, so
they hurried out to help.

That's good. Oh, my.
Oh, my. There they are.

There they are!

- There you are!
- Oh, Lulu, Lulu.

Oh.

You ain't gonna
have to worry no more.

'You're safe now.'

I wouldn't be too
sure about that, J.D.

I got a hunch them two are
gonna be back for Daisy and Lulu.

- Oh.
- You're right, Jesse.

Because if those
guys have half a brain

you know what they're
gonna do to Lulu and Daisy?

If you had half a brain,
you'd stop flapping your lips.

Well, listen, fellas, we've
got to think of something.

Lulu and I can't spend
the rest of our lives hiding.

- That's right.
- You won't have to, Daisy.

We're gonna make
life easy for those guys.

- We give them Lulu and Daisy.
- Wait a minute!

- Are you nuts?
- Not exactly. I got an idea.

Now, I know you two could
pull off a shuck and jive

I've seen you do it many a time.

Now, Luke's got
something cooking

and it's got Boss
and Rosco stewing.

So, it's gonna be fun.

- Boss, hold on a second.
- No, no.

Wait a minute. Come on
back. I know it's gonna work.

Wait a minute!

Alright, everybody. This is
as good as it's gonna get.

- Okay?
- This I gotta see.

- Well, come on down, J.D.
- 'Yeah.'

'Alright, here I
come, ready or not.'

I can't get the hang of
wearing these here shoes.

Now, my pantyhose
are starting to fall down.

'I'll tell you one thing.'

This bra here is about
ready to choke me to death.

Well, I guess I made it.

'Oh, that used to
be a small step.'

- You too, little brother.
- Yeah. Come on, Rosco.

Oh.

Aah! Watch it, will you?

I don't know how you
women do it in these shoes.

You know something?
I was noticing when you

come down the stairs,
that you've got pretty legs.

Oh, hush up, will you? I have?

Well, you know, this is
not gonna work though.

You know, you don't
look anything like Lulu

and I don't look like Daisy,
we're gonna make lousy decoys.

From a distance,
it may fool 'em.

All we gotta do is get that guy

with the carnation
out in the open.

Once he gets close
and realizes that y'all ain't

who you're supposed to
be, Luke and I will grab him.

Supposin' he sh**t
first and looks later?

Alright, alright,
listen, I ain't so thrilled

about wearing this
here getup neither

but, uh, with Lulu's
and Daisy's life at stake

'uh, we gotta
make this sacrifice.'

You know, J.D., I'm
proud of you for saying that.

- Me too.
- Watch it, please!

But, I'll tell you what, fellas.
I don't think it's necessary.

Lulu and I can do
it. We really can.

Oh, no! We wouldn't
hear of that. No, no.

- No way.
- Uh-uh.

Listen, you girls are gonna do
your part on the CB. Shall we?

Alright.

If you say so.

Now, Lulu, we couldn't do a
dang thing without y'all, you know?

- I promise you it's gonna work.
- Alright. Here we go.

This is Daisy Duke calling.
Lulu Hogg, are you out there?

Daisy, I'm right here, honey.

Jesse, would you look and see
if my pantyhose are bagging?

- Well, this left one seems...
- Don't touch me.

Jesse, I'm not
that type of girl.

Oh, good grief.

What's going on between you two?

Nothing.

The idea was for Daisy and Lulu
to pretend they were setting up

a shopping date on the CB.

And to make sure
that the K*llers heard it.

They did it on all the channels.

It was the best performance
since Lulu appeared

in the Hazzard theatre
production of Little Woman.

Oo-hoo! Goody.

'Yes, Lulu, there is a big sale'

'at the Hazzard
Emporium at o'clock.'

It's : . Turn this
thing around, Wilbur.

Looks like we got another
cr*ck at those ladies.

- Oh, good grief.
- Come on.

Don't..

- Don't..
- Be careful.

Now, the real Daisy and Lulu
stayed behind in the house

with Jesse for safekeeping,
while the decoys were being

driven over to the
Emporium by old Enos.

- 'Just hush up.'
- 'My girdle's k*lling me.'

'We've got to do this to
help save those women.'

'Don't you know that?'

'I don't mind that. It's just..'

'I think it's above and
beyond the call of duty.'

You know, it's not dignified.
A police officer in a dress..

Was that a g*nsh*t?

Uh, no. It was just
a car's backfire.

You done messed
up my coiffure here.

I gotta take my position
now. Good luck, ladies.

I'll punch you out. I'll
punch you out, calling me...

Don't do that.

Listen, you don't think
anybody will notice

I didn't shave my legs.

Oh, never, never. Just
wiggle your hips. Come on.

Good grief.

The question now was..

Could Boss and Rosco
make it to that store window

without falling off
their high-heel shoes.

He so has got some
bad taste in his women.

Boss, was that whistle
for you or for me?

Oh, who cares? Come
on. Get back in the act.

Them fellas, meanwhile, was
just coming into Hazzard now.

'There's the Emporium.'

Hey, Luke. Look at
that. There's the car.

'Wilbur, look.'

Why, this one looks nice.

You, uh, ladies
can come with us.

I beg your pardon,
big boy. How dare you?

It's a trap.

Come on. Let's get outta here.

Come on. You two
ladies are coming with us.

- 'Get in the car.'
- 'No!'

Alright. Hold it,
right there. Hold it.

'Wait a minute, Enos!'

Or I just may have to put a
b*llet into these two charmers.

Are you kidding? I'm
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Oh, don't believe him.
He's really Daisy Duke.

- That's right.
- Oh, shut up!

- Get in the car.
- No, wait a minute.

- Don't push me. Wait a minute.
- Don't trip me.

- Please...
- Get in there.

'Wait a minute!'

Dang it, we've been
snookered, Luke.

Come on, Enos, the General
Lee's faster than your patrol car.

Come on!

Come on. Get in here.

No sign of anybody, Wilbur.
Looks like we've outrun them.

Yeah, but they've all
seen you now. And me.

Looks like it's time for
us to leave the country.

After we've taken care of
these two ugly ducklings.

Wait, now, who're
you calling a duckling?

Yeah.

You better take it easy, Bo.

If we get too close
to 'em and they see us

ain't no telling what they'll
do to Boss and Rosco.

Possum on a gum bush.
We got 'em into this mess.

Uh, you mean, I did.
Me and my brilliant plan.

'We'll just lay back and
just pray for a break, huh?'

Ah! Hey, hey!

Well, never mind
them, get going!

Oh, oh. Oh, come on.

Listen, you know something,
I feel like I'm being used.

Yeah, but, don't
use me, will you?

- Here's my purse.
- Oh, there's mine.

Ow, ow. These shoes!
Help me up! Help me up!

- Oh, here we are. Nowhere.
- You hit me in the nose.

I'm sorry. Where are them Duke
boys? Weren't they behind us?

I thought so.

You hear something?

- Is that them?
- No, it ain't.

- 'Yes, it is!'
- Oh, there they are!

Here!

- 'Hold it here.'
- 'Here we are.'

- Here we are.
- You alright?

- Listen. Hey.
- Yeah, listen.

I'm gonna condammeer your
car. This is your sheriff speaking.

Alright, enough of
that. Let's go after them.

Without Boss and
Rosco to worry about

now old Bo and Luke could
really pull out all the stops

on the General and
go after the bad boys.

'Look, look, look!
There they go!'

'We're after them.
We're getting it.'

'Wilbur, they're behind us.
It's that infernal orange car!'

'Get out of here!'

Get out of the way now!

- Bo, Bo, wait a minute.
- Y'all hang on.

'Yee-haw!'

- You guys alright?
- Yeah, I'm alright.

Let's get out of here.

Get me out of here!

- Boss, there they are.
- There they are!

- Stop, thief!
- Hey, hey, get me out of here!

- You're under arrest.
- Alright. We got 'em.

Let's go. I gotta get out
of this girdle. It's k*lling me.

Well, he's bagging my
pantyhose. That's another..

Well, now, thanks
to the Duke boys

it appears as if the dapper
Mr. Lipton's gonna have himself

a whole change of
lifestyle. The state pokey.

And later, everybody gathered
to celebrate and drink a toast

to Mr. and Mrs. Hogg on
their th wedding anniversary.

And now it's time to
blow out the candles.

Come on, Lulu. Big breath.

Dag blast it, didn't
blow out but half of them.

Alright, I'll finish
it off myself.

- We'll give you a hand.
- Alright, do that.

- Alrighty.
- Make a wish.

Ah! You did that on
purpose, you Duke boys!

- No, we didn't.
- You were too close!

Well, friends, I think
that we can safely say

that things are back to
normal in Hazzard County.

Arrest them for attacking
me with a deadly cake!