06x16 - Undercover Dukes (Part 1)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard". Aired: January 26, 1979 – February 8, 1985.*
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Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
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06x16 - Undercover Dukes (Part 1)

Post by bunniefuu »

'Yee-haw!'

Now, friends, this is a real
special time in Hazzard County

because the day after tomorrow

Daisy's arranging for a
surprise birthday bash

for Uncle Jesse... which
he don't know about

because that's what
makes it a surprise.

Bo and Luke are racing to town

to see if the gifts they
ordered for Uncle Jesse

have arrived at
Rhuebottom's store.

Now, that racing car
belongs to the only daughter

of J.J. Carver, Mary Beth.

That's her in white.

Old J.J. runs the crime
syndicate for the entire South.

Ain't Mary Beth a looker?

That ain't J.J. Carver there.

That's Mary Beth's
pet, Mr. Jones.

Y'all keeping this straight now?

'As he ramrode his way
among some of the top drivers'

'to bring himself
to victory lane.'

'It was his th career victory,
and it was to be his last.'

'As Bo Duke
stepped from the car..'

Wow. That Bo
Duke sure can drive.

And he's awfully cute.

'...Bo Duke steppin' away
from Grand National Racing..'

Mr. Jones.

'...after one of the
most sensational year..'

You interested in what he can
do on or off the track, Mary Beth?

Honey, when you own a race car

you own what's on
it and what's in it.

They retired from the circuit.

What makes you think
they're gonna drive for you?

What makes you
think they aren't?

Well, honey, I hope you're right

'cause that dark-haired
one's kinda cute you know.

Yeah, yeah, I know,
time's runnin' out.

Look, if, uh..

The Carver girl stops in Hazzard

'I'll get it done then.'

Two women, a monkey and a g*n.

Friends and neighbors,
we're off to a goo-od start.

- Hey, Boss.
- Hm?

Why is it if you're
donatin' the Boars Nest

for Uncle Jesse's
surprise birthday party

you're chargin'
two bucks a beer?

Uh, well, that's because
that ain't ordinary beer.

No, siree, Bob.

- That beer's imported.
- Oh, okay.

All the way from my warehouse.

Oh, my goodness, he's
so cute. Is he friendly?

Oh!

Are you friendly, Mr. Jones?

Oh, I guess he is.

Oh, you're so cute!

Oh, look at you.
You're so sweet.

You too, huh? Hey, pal?

Come here, how
about a little popcorn?

Is it good?

He's so sweet. Come here.

Give me a kiss.

Well, we don't see many of
these here in Hazzard County.

What would y'all like to order?

Bo and Luke Duke
on a silver platter.

- Do you know 'em, honey?
- Why, I sure do.

Comin' right up.

Now, y'all don't know
this yet, but the monkey

on the left is named Jo
Jo and he's one nasty dude.

Well, babysittin' an ape

ain't exactly gonna
sweeten nobody's disposition.

Lost Sheep, are you out there?
This is Bo Peep lookin' for ya.

We got you, Bo Peep. What's up?

There's three people at the
Boars Nest lookin' for you.

- And two of them ain't men.
- And what might they look like?

They're adorable,
if you like girls.

- I'll see you soon.
- You got that.

I don't know what
this fella's doin'

but I don't think
he's fixing the stereo.

Boy, that is a beauty, ain't it?

All NASCAR decked-out
and everythin'.

I wonder if it's as
fast as it looks?

I sure would like to give it
a try one day, I tell you that.

And these are my... assistants.

Jo Jo and Anna Louise.

Oh, hey. It's nice
to meet you. Jo Jo.

And this is Mr. Jones.
He's my grease monkey.

'I'll bet he is. Hi, Mr. Jones.'

'He's a cute little
devil, ain't he?'

Bet he gets under the car easy.

- I bet he does.
- Please join us.

Oh, sure.

How about I get
y'all some beers?

- Make mine a light, Daisy.
- You bet.

Jo Jo, take Mr. Jones to
the bar and buy him a drink.

Milk, on the rocks.

- Sure.
- Bye, Mr. Jones.

Listen, our cousin, Daisy
said y'all wanted to talk to us.

But she didn't say about what.

- I'm a big fan of yours, Bo.
- Really?

You too, Luke. I've seen
y'all race on the circuit.

'I'm racin' my own car
in the circuit this year'

'startin' Saturday in
Capitol City in the .'

Great.

That car out there, I
spent over $ ,

'conditionin' and modifyin' it.'

Now, all I need is a
first-rate driver and a backup.

Well, sh**t, we don't
know anybody around here.

I think you'll find
these contracts

more than generous.

- Contracts?
- I want you to drive for me.

Luke, I want you to be my chief
mechanic and backup driver.

Well, aren't you even
gonna read them?

No, thanks, ma'am.

I'm sure that the contracts
check out just fine, but..

We made a decision
to quit the circuit

and we're gonna stick with that.

'And there's nothin' I can say
that would change your minds?'

Uh, no, ma'am, but we
sure do appreciate the offer.

- 'Thanks for the beer.'
- 'Yeah, thank you.'

Bye-bye.

Well, I'll bet
that's the first time

you ever took no for an answer.

- It's a beauty.
- Dang shame.

Yeah, that it is.

You suppose he's
supposed to be in there?

Why don't we ask him
when he comes out.

Clever fella.

If he was gonna get caught,
he wanted it to look like

he was nothin' more
than a sneak thief.

That used to work for y'all
in Hazzard High football.

But it don't work on cars, boys.

- You alright?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Ain't nothin' won't heal
in a couple of years.

- Come on, let's go.
- Why don't you drive.

- I'm too sore.
- Got it.

Now, while the Duke
boys was chasin'

what they thought
was a sneak thief.

Mary Beth's daddy,
old J.J. Carver

that big syndicate villain

was taking his
morning constitutional.

Bender.

You heard from
Jo Jo or Mary Beth?

No, sir, not yet.

Well, suppose you give
'em a call on the phone.

Alright, boys, let's have at it.

Mary Beth, did you sign
up the Duke boys yet?

No, daddy. They said they were
retired and weren't interested.

Don't you worry your pretty
little head about that, honey.

I think I can..

Make the Duke boys an
offer that they can't refuse.

'I'll talk to you later, honey.'

Bye, daddy.

Hazzard. Hazzard.

- J.D. Hogg run that county?
- Yes, sir.

Mary Beth needs a
helpin' hand, let's go.

'Watch out there!'

Hey, Luke.

You know, the way
things have been goin'

I'm bettin' a high-speed
flat tire is just the beginning.

'Turn, turn, turn.'

Ah!

And we found
ourselves a sheriff.

Where?

Rosco.

Great. Just what we need.

Watch out now.

Alright, you two.

Oh, I got ya.

- And I'm serious this time.
- Rosco, what...

- You're under arrest.
- What for?

Well, are you kiddin'?
For speeding as usual.

Alright, put your
hands on this hood.

Wait a minute. We've
been racin' the General.

The hood's awful hot.

Tiddly-tuddly, I've heard
that story a million times, you...

- Rosco, Rosco, don't!
- Oh, oh!

Well, when Mr. Big
arrived at the Boars Nest

he headed inside to
make Boss an offer

that he couldn't refuse.

Yeah, wait a minute. Decent
folks knock before enterin'.

I was told I could
find Mr. Hogg here.

Yeah, you were, huh? Well..

Wait a minute,
you look familiar.

Really? I don't
believe we've ever met.

No? Well, I've seen some part
of you somewhere, someplace.

Mr. Carver is a very
well-known man.

That's it. That TV
show last week.

Uh, uh, Minutes, yeah.

You were the one who was talking
to the Senate Crime Commission

with your hand in
front of your face.

'When you wasn't hiding
behind a newspaper'

'you had your head
buried in your coat.'

J.J. Carver.

That's you, isn't it?

'It sure is.'

Mr. Carver..

You're the biggest, uh, uh

'businessman in
the whole South.'

Listen, I-I didn't know it
was you when you come in.

Or I never would've said,
"Decent folks should knock"

and all that. Have a seat. Have
a cigar. Have anything I got.

What I want are two boys by
name of Bo and Luke Duke.

Eh. Oh..

Well, uh, uh

you want them alive, don't you?

I just wanna talk to them.

You think you could
arrange that, Mr. Hogg?

Oh, yeah. Two Duke
boys, comin' right up.

This is Commissioner J.D. Hogg

callin' Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane.

Well, old Boss ordered
Rosco to bring the boys in.

And Rosco, hearing
his master's voice

done like he was ordered.

That's a big ten-four,
little fat buddy. I got them.

At the same time, not far away

someone else was issuin'
some orders of his own.

Now about that license-plate
number and the description

of those two young men, I'm
gonna wanna know everything

there is to know
about 'em and fast.

'Alright, you Dukes.
Come on in here.'

Get in here. Alright.

Oh, Boss, good news.
Now, I got the Dukes.

You know, I-I nailed
them, let's jail them.

Yeah, yeah, good.

Alright, you dudes. Just
get on out of here while we...

- Rosco.
- What?

This so-called dude
is, uh, Mr. J.J. Carver.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly.
And I'm Rosco P..

- Did you say Carver?
- Yeah.

- You mean theCarver?
- Hmm.

Listen, are you comfortable?
We'll get you a nice chair.

- Let's get...
- Boss, what are we doing here?

All we're tryin' to do is
help Rosco do his job.

Alright, I'll tell
ya, I'll tell ya.

I-I was just doin' my duty as
I promised Mr. Carver here.

Here they are, the Duke boys.

Yes, boys, I am responsible
for your being here.

And I do apologize
for any inconvenience.

I did wanna talk to you,
so maybe we can go

'to my daughter's motor home
and have our conversation there.'

Any place is better than this.

A-and before you
go, Bo, Luke, uh

uh, is there anything
your Commissioner Hogg

can do for you two
fine young individuals?

Now that you mention it

the General is sitting
out there with a flat tire.

- Oh, a flat tire?
- Yes, flat.

We'll take care of that. We'll
take care of your whole car.

The county will
pay for all damages.

Are you kiddin'?

You see, Mr. Carver, there
ain't nothing I wouldn't do for you.

Oh, and listen,
Boss Hogg is better

at doing nothin' than
anybody in Hazzard.

- 'Would you please!'
- 'Well..'

Gentlemen.

Well, I just, I'm just trying
to help here. Listen here...

- Thank you.
- The county will pay for it?

Yeah, oh!

- Oh, Rosco.
- What?

That's as close to playin'
with dynamite as I wanna get.

I know.

Mind your manners, Mr. Jones.

Mary Beth honey, why don't
you all go into the Boars Nest

and take advantage of
Mr. Hogg's gracious hospitality

while Bo and Luke
and I talk things over?

- Okay, daddy.
- Is he beatin' you?

Boys, why don't you come
in here and have a seat?

- See you later.
- Yes, sir.

It's quite a place you got here.

Now, if this is about that offer
that your daughter made to us...

I heard that you had turned that
down and I don't blame you none.

Well, she graduated
from college with honors

and she knows a
lot about racin' cars

but she's not a very
good businesswoman.

Now, boys, I'm prepared
to offer you $ ,

and all the purses you win..

'...for you to drive
for my Mary Beth.'

Mr. Carver, that's a
whole lotta money.

'It's worth it to me.'

'You see, I am a
businessman you might say.'

'Car racin' doesn't
mean very much to me'

'but, uh, it is my
daughter's big passion.'

'And whatever it takes
to make her happy..'

'...she's gonna get.'

'We appreciate your
confidence in us, Mr. Carver'

but we made the
decision to quit the circuit

and we don't ever plan to
leave Hazzard County again.

Mary Beth explained that
to me too. And I understand.

But would you do
me a very large favor?

'Would you just
think on it for a spell?'

'And that amount of money
can make... livin' a lot easier.'

Then you give my
daughter your final answer.

- Now, is that a deal?
- Yes, sir.

I don't think it's gonna
change our mind much.

- You think it over.
- We sure will. Thank you.

'I Appreciate that, boys.'

Howdy.

Did that guy Carver
look familiar to you?

Maybe a little bit.

Looks like somebody who ain't
used to taking no for an answer.

Yeah, that's true.

If I could get myself in tight
with J.J. Carver and his family

well, someday I could be
runnin' this whole state myself.

Oh!

Of course, I wouldn't be
doing the terrible things

J .J. Carver does.

Of course not. You'd be doin'
the terrible things that you do.

- Yeah. Hm?
- You know somethin'?

I'm just thinkin', you know?

What is J.J. Carver,
now, that man's got class

what's he doin' with
those riffraff Duke boys?

- That's right, that's right.
- Mm-hmm.

- And that we gotta find out.
- Right.

I want you to get out there
and start tailin' them Duke boys.

You take that flea-bitten
friend of yours with you.

And you bring me
back enough information

so as one day I can
become a godfather myself.

Oh! Good.

And listen, when you make
all that money being a godfather

then, since you ain't got
no children of your own

you can adopt me.

- Hmm? Adopt you?
- Mm-hmm.

Alright, you can
be my runaway son.

So start runnin'.
Go on. Go on, go on.

Yeah.

You left one.

New and improved?

'Whoever thought we'd turn
down more money in one day'

'than we thought we was
gonna make in our lifetime?'

Feels kinda good
though, don't it?

No.

Remember that
guy we was chasin'?

- Yeah.
- He's back.

Huh.

We forgot to tell Mary Beth he
was sneakin' around her trailer.

Let's lose him, and
circle back around him.

Ask him a few questions.

'Ten-four.'

Alright. Hold it, hold it.

Before you Duke boys do
anything to make me sorry for

I wanna show you something here.

Hold it.

- I'm a federal agent.
- How do you know who we are?

My name is Walden. I'm
assigned to the Strike Force.

Strike Force?

'A special unit involved in
fighting organized crime.'

I checked you boys out,
I know I can trust you.

I want you to use
my car phone here..

'...and check up on me.'

Here, Luke, use the
phone. I wanna watch him.

'Good fishing.'

Those Duke boys, they're having
a secret meeting down there.

We gotta sneak down
there and find out what it is.

Come to daddy, velvet ears.

Yeah, much obliged.

Washington, D.C., direct.

I guess we owe you an apology.

Special Agent Walden
explained to the Duke boys

that J.J. Carver was the
baddest number one dude

in all the South.

And the government
wanted to put him in jail.

But they needed evidence.

In the past year, two
good agents have d*ed

trying to infiltrate
Carver's organization.

We're sorry to hear that.

But... I still don't see how
that concerns me and Bo.

Our department has learned that
something big is gonna happen.

'We don't know exactly
what, where or when.'

Sir, that don't tell us nothin'.

What do you want
with Luke and me?

I heard your, uh,
deal with Carver.

I bugged his
daughter's mobile home.

- That's what he was doing.
- For sure.

Court order.

Mary Beth talked to
us about driving a car

didn't say nothing about
her daddy's business.

Chances are, Mary Beth
doesn't know anything

about her daddy's business.

But if you accept his offer,
you can be our foot in the door.

And you may see
or hear something

'to put that scum
where he belongs.'

Ain't you asking a lot of
a couple of country boys?

Oh, I'm not asking.
Your country's asking.

See, it ain't our
decision to make.

We'll have to discuss
it with our family.

- Yeah.
- Uh-uh, that's impossible.

It's too dangerous for
your uncle and cousin.

'If Carver got suspicious, he
could send his boys over there'

rough them up, they
could get hurt bad.

If you decide to come in with us

you've gotta give me your word

that you're not gonna mention
it to anybody, friend... or family.

Just hang on a second.

Here's a nice
little tree for you.

See, you don't wanna go
down this steep hill with daddy

you'll scuff your
little velvet ears.

Now listen, you
just stay right here.

Daddy will be right back.

Oh, oh.

That... I think I
broke everything.

It seems to me that
we got an obligation

to do the right thing.

Now, here we got a chance
to put away somebody

who's been ruining a whole lot
of lives, maybe people we know.

You really think we can do that?

He seems to think we can.

You got yourself a deal.

- 'We'll do it.'
- 'You won't be sorry.'

I hope not.

I got the feeling Carver
don't take too kindly

'to people double-crossing him.'

Wait till I tell Boss
what I just heard.

Okay, we'll meet again
before you boys leave

for Capitol City and
discuss the details, alright?

- Alright.
- Okay.

Well, when you boys
get ready to talk about

whatever it is you
don't wanna talk about

I'm ready to talk it over.

In the meantime, I'm
gonna enjoy my cooking.

'Hey, everybody. I'm home.'

- Hey, Daisy.
- Hi.

- Hey, Daisy.
- Hey, Daisy.

Sorry I'm so late

but Boss had me counting
all the dang glasses.

What are y'all
looking so glum about?

Did you tell Uncle Jesse
about the offer you turned down

'to drive on the
NASCAR circuit?'

'Daisy.'

I'm so proud of
you, I could just bust.

'You know what, Bo?'

When that girl started
batting her eyelashes at you

I thought it was
all over, didn't you?

- I thought that-that was it.
- Daisy.

Didn't you tell Uncle Jesse?

- 'Uh, no.'
- 'No.'

Why?

We changed our minds.

Yeah, do y'all have
any idea how much

money there is in
driving a NASCAR?

Why, we-we could
buy another farm.

I don't believe
what I'm hearing.

Daisy, if the boys wanna go
back on the NASCAR circuit

why... they should
go with our blessing.

Well, I ain't blessin' 'em

for going back on their word

'and breaking up this family.'

Y'all better tell
me this is a joke.

It ain't no joke, Daisy.

We ain't gonna be gone
forever. We'll be coming back!

There's more to it than that.
Excuse me, Uncle Jesse.

Daisy, look. We
understand how you feel.

No, you don't! Or
you wouldn't be leavin'.

How do you think Uncle Jesse's
gonna feel... come Saturday

and everybody's wishing
him Happy Birthday

except the two people he loves
more than anything in the world?

Daisy...

And what about...
harvesting time is coming up.

How do you expect a man his
age to do it all by himself, huh?

Someday you're gonna know
how it is with Luke and me now.

Yeah, oh, I know
how I feel right now.

Daisy..

I tell you, among the
Dukes, love of family

ain't something to
be taken too lightly.

Well, I suppose we
better go tell Mary Beth

she's got herself a
couple of drivers, huh?

Yeah. Judas and his cousin, huh?

Ol' Bo and Luke
were jeopardizing

the Duke family peace

and their own lives by
going up against J.J. Carver.

Them boys is good stock.

- Here goes nothin'.
- Yeah, boy.

'It's open.'

'Well, what a
surprise. Come on in.'

Thanks.

- Sit down.
- Thank you.

Would you like a drink?

- Uh, no.
- No, thank you.

Well, welcome back, boys.

Is this business or pleasure?

This is business. We
had a talk with your dad.

Yeah, it looks like
you got yourself

one driver and
one chief mechanic.

I'm delighted.

I guess my daddy is a
better negotiator than I am.

Well, he did do some
fancy negotiating

but, uh, that
wasn't the only thing

we took into account
when we said yes.

I hope you mean that, Bo.

I think it's terrific. We could
use new blood around here.

Yeah, I feel the same way...
as long as none of it gets shed

in the 'cause of
winning, that is.

I'm glad you said that, Duke.

It's dangerous out
at the racetrack.

You mean... you
say them Duke boys

are planning to
double-cross J.J. Carver?

- Right.
- How they gonna do that?

I have no idea.

Listen, get your
hands off of this.

- You gotta find out, don't you?
- Well...

Boss told Rosco to
stick with the Dukes

and get any information
that would help Boss

get in good with Carver.

Also, Boss wanted
to know what Carver

wanted with the
Dukes in the first place.

Well, we got Rosco. He
ain't got his siren on though.'

'Maybe he ain't chasing us.

Well, you gotta lose him
anyway before we go see Walden.

Ten-four.

Did they finish putting the
macadam on Peach Tree Lane?

I don't know. What difference
does it make? Let's go.

'Alright.'

'Hey, boys. What do
you think you're doing?'

'That was a..'

That ought to keep Rosco
and Flash holed up for a while.

What a fun guy.

Just keep driving. We
got a meeting to get to.

'Oh, goodness, Flash.'

You don't think Boss
is gonna buy the fact

this was Enos' fault, do ya?

No, neither do I.

Say, Daisy, you
sure don't look happy.

Listen, if you're troubled by
what I'm charging for the beer

at your Uncle Jesse's
surprise birthday party

I'll tell you what I'll do

I'll let you have all the free
popcorn you want at half-price.

Boss, it ain't
what you're doin'.

It's them cousins of mine
and what they're doing.

Oh.

Oh, now, now, now. Listen.

Why, you come right
over here, sugar pie

and you tell your Uncle
Boss what it's all about.

Okay.

You're gonna be in front of
the post office in Capitol City

every day from twelve to one.

We got that phone
number at the treasury office

you gave us in case
there's an emergency.

Right now, here's the smallest
mini-camera that there is.

'In case you guys see
something that might interest us.'

Bo, Luke, I know what
a big personal sacrifice

this has been for you two.

I want you to know
that if we get Carver

you will have done
something for your government

that no one else
has been able do.

We'll give it a sh*t.

Well, the Duke boys had
themselves a real problem.

But over at the Boars Nest

old Boss figured that
he had a solution for his.

Yeah. Daisy Duke
told me so herself.

The Dukes are gonna be racing
Mary Beth Carver's racing car

on the NASCAR circuit.
Now, listen. Tell me.

That fella you saw
talking to the Dukes

what did he look like?

Beady eyes, sneaky.
Looked like a gambler.

A gambler!

Listen... J.J. Carver's
got the biggest

gambling syndicate in the South.

There's sure gonna be lots of
betting on that race Saturday.

So put that together
with what you heard

and what do you get?

How much time do I have?

The Dukes are
gonna throw the race!

- How much time do you need?
- Well..

Daisy?

- Daisy?
- 'What is it, Uncle Jesse?'

The boys are ready to leave now.
Come on out and... say goodbye.

'I ain't coming out until
those turkeys are gone.'

'And, Uncle Jesse, don't you
ask me to change my mind'

"cause I ain't gonna.'

'I never want to
see them again.'

She don't really mean that.

Don't be too hard on her.

Job offers like this just
don't come up every day.

- We'll be back.
- Yeah, you will.

And remember that..

You always got a home
here if... you need it.

If Jesse feels bad now,
he'd really be worried

if he knew what Bo
and Luke was going into.

- Bye, Luke boy.
- Yeah.

Bo, baby. Now, you be good.

Yes, sir.

Let's get going, Bo. You
have a good birthday too now.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I will.

- Say bye to Daisy - Yeah.

'Let's go, will you?
Just go on along here.'

I swear, I hate to see
that old man in trouble.

Tony Reno. He's coming.

That makes four. Two more to go.

Just think, Bender,
come Saturday

all the top syndicate
bosses in America

are gonna be sitting
right here in this room.

Is something
bothering you, Bender?

Yes, sir.

It's the day of the big race

the town will be
crawling with cops.

That's right.

All they're gonna be
concerned about is crowd control.

There are gonna
be thousands of cars

with out-of-state
license plates here.

I could not have picked a
better time or better place.

- Your names, please.
- Bo and Luke Duke, sir.

You're expected, gentlemen.

Hope you don't mind. We have
to check out you and your luggage.

No cameras, tape recorders
or weapons are allowed inside.

- Step out, please.
- Yes, sir.

The most dangerous thing
we brought is our personalities.

I'm sorry we ain't...
pretty and female.

- Care for some popcorn?
- Ain't allowed to eat on duty.

Miss Carver's expecting you.

Just drive through the
gate and down the road

you can't miss her.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

All through? Alright.

See you boys later.

Keep smilin'.

'Here's the Carver place.'

Hey listen, how we gonna
get around them guards?

- We don't.
- No?

What we're gonna do is we're
gonna drive around and around

until we find a good spot
where we can set up camp

and see what's going on.

Onward!

Luke, how come they
didn't find that camera?

'Cause they ain't
allowed to eat on duty.

- What?
- You want hot buttered camera?

'Over here, Bo.'

Hi.

'Hi.'

- Howdy.
- Hey, y'all.

- 'Bo and Luke.'
- Yeah.

Boy, you got quite a
spread here I tell you what.

Boy, I was beginning to think
you'd changed your minds again.

No, we didn't...

sh**t, we'd never
do a thing like that.

Come on. I'll show you around
to your home away from home.

Jo Jo, get their things.

Oh, that's alright.
I got it. Thank you.

- I'll show you around.
- Alright. Great.

Boy, this car of y'all
sure is something.

I bet she handles
good too, don't she?

You can unpack and
I'll let you take it out.

Really?

After lunch you can
take it to the track

let it all out and
meet the crew.

I'd love to meet the guys on the
crew. I'd best unpack right now.

- Bo?
- Yeah?

If there's anything you need

I live all alone
in the east wing.

Oh, well, your father
must like his privacy, huh?

We both do.

- You first.
- Thank you.

The Dukes are a long way
from Hazzard County today.

Life in the fast lane..

Mighty impressive.

Boy, this lady sure
has got some class.

Just don't forget the
reason why we're here.

No, how can I forget that?

Oh!

'What's them Dukes doing, Boss?'

They're doing
nothing. Just like you.

Suppose you unpack our gear
and set up camp. Go on, will ya?

Dang! Pesky
mosquitoes around here.

Boss, Boss, Boss.

There's another
one, isn't there?

- Hold still.
- Where is it?

- Hold still.
- Where is it?

- On your chin.
- My chin?

- Hold still.
- Oh, no. No!

Aha!

I got it, Boss.

That's one mosquito that
won't bother you again.

That's right, Flash.

That'll teach even a mosquito
to mess with Rosco P. Coltrane.

Why did I ever bring him with
me? I should've come alone.

Did you break
anything important?

No. But I will in a minute.

Wait till I get my hands on you.

The Dukes are here.

Good.

Is it gonna interfere with,
uh... what you're planning?

Nothing or no one
is gonna interfere.

You would do well to
remember that, Bender.

Remember you're
just checking out

to make sure everything works.

Alright. Wayne, give me
a hand with this... seatbelt.

Jeff, Terry, is everything cool?

Everything checks
out fine, Luke.

You got that listening
device working yet?

Yeah.

Boss, listen. I
got it working now.

- Take a listen.
- Oh, good. Good.

You'd swear that you
were sitting right on their lap.

Yeah. Turn it up
real good for me.

I'll turn it up full volume.

How's it running, Bo?

Just as smooth as
silk on satin, cousin.

Alright.

Whoo!

- 'Alright.'
- 'Come on, Bo.'

'Okay, that looking good.'

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yeah.'

- 'Yeah. Alright.'
- 'Alright.'

There you go. You doing alright?

Yeah.

I know I'm supposed to
be interested in that girl

but this car is something else.

- Keep your mind on business.
- Yeah.

That was some kinda driving, Bo.

That's some car
you got there, darlin'.

What do you think, Mr. Carver?

I think I just lost my
best income tax write-off.

Thank you, sir.

Honey, you got two
good drivers there.

Oh, daddy, I know you got
a big business deal cooking

but you will be at the race?

As soon as that flag
drops, I'll be there.

I've arranged a picnic lunch for
everybody by the swimming pool.

- Would you walk me to the car?
- Sure, daddy.

Luke, you suppose
that big business deal

she's talkin' about
is why we're here?

It could well be.

See if you can get
alone with her at lunch

she might know more
than she's aware of.

We never mention business
when there are strangers around.

I'm sorry, daddy

but if Bo Duke is more
interested in your business

than in your
daughter... I'm slippin'.

To a man like Jesse Duke

family is what
matters most in life.

And Jesse couldn't see
no way that his family

was ever going to
be together again.

So he tried to
remedy the matter.

You know, Daisy, I was thinking

uh, why don't you and
me drive up to Capital City

and just take in the big race?

Uncle Jesse, I got things
to do and so do you.

Remember you said you were
gonna help Cooter with the inventory.

Oh, yeah.

- Guess I did.
- Uncle Jesse?

I respect the way you
feel about Bo and Luke.

I hope you respect
the way I feel too.

'Okay?'

Sure. And I do.

Our heavenly
Father, we thank thee

'for this bounteous table
that's placed before us.'

'Amen.'

Matter of fact, I think
I'm gonna take a walk.

Walk some of this off.

- Anybody care to join me?
- I think I'd like to walk.

Oh, what about your friend?

Who cares?

We'll see you later.

- 'Okay. Y'all be good now.'
- 'Yeah, thank you.'

See you later.

- Bo?
- Yes, ma'am?

Will you tell me
something truthfully?

Well, sure. I'll give
it my best sh*t.

Yesterday, when you said

you took other things into
account when you took this job..

Was I one of 'em?

Yes, you were.

You sure were.

'Uh, look, Mr. Jones,
if you don't mind'

why don't you go on and
find your own girl, huh?

Go on, get.

Boy, he's something else.

- You know, I can carry that.
- Yeah, I suppose you can.

Oh.

I promise I'll behave.

Sorry to hear that.

Look, I have a
permit for the g*n.

I'm an ex-police officer.

Jo Jo and I aren't
Mary Beth's assistants

we're her bodyguards.

Now listen, kidnapping
rich young ladies

is always in season, you know?

It seems to me that the body

that Jo Jo's interested
in guarding is yours.

Yeah, well..

That's his problem.

Hm.

That ain't his only problem.

'Luke! Luke! Come
back here, Luke.'

Stop it!

Stop it!

If Mr. Carver finds
out, we'll all be gone.

What's this about, Jo Jo?

Ask your new boyfriend.

Luke?

Just a misunderstanding.

Let's you and me
head over to the track.

Rosco. Them Dukes,
they're going off someplace.

'Alright. Come on, come on.'

- 'We gotta follow 'em.'
- 'Why?'

'Why? Because they're bound to
make a mistake sooner or later.'

'And we gotta be there.'

'That way, we'll get the
evidence to show J.J.'

'Boss, but you know something?'

'Between me and you and
Flash, we're on a fool's errand.'

Well, then you especially
should feel right at home.

Come on, give me a
hand. Get me off of here.

W-wait a minute.

Grab this arm over here.
That's the idea, yeah.

Oh. Oh, little buddy.

Oh, I bet that smarted.

- Rosco?
- Yeah?

I told you to help
me, not hinder me.

You know something?
I'm proud of ya.

You see that flip? I'd
give you a four on that.

Yeah, I'm ready
to give you five.

Alright, listen.
Let's get after 'em.

How's she doin', Pete?

Good.

Mary Beth, when are time trials?

Tomorrow.

- The day of the race?
- I'm afraid so.

We do things different out
here. This is Tri-County Raceway.

That's right. I
remember from last year.

- Bo?
- Yeah.

The engineer who modified
this car would like to ride with you.

Well, uh, sure. No problem.
Come on, Herky. Let's go.

Mary Beth, I'll
get you a helmet.

Wait a minute. Are you telling
me that you modified this car?

How come you didn't say
somethin' about it before?

Some men think if a
woman can do things like that

she's not much of a woman.

Not this one. Hop in there.
Fix her a seat, would you?

It's already done.

Well, alright. I'd open
the door for you, but, uh..

I'll get it.

So she did it herself.

Mr. Carver sure seems to enjoy

being generous
with his daughter.

Yeah, well, that's his way of
holding onto her, you know?

As much time as he
spends around her

he must not get to
the office very much.

Oh, honey, his
office is in his den.

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

You know, Boss, these
uniforms ain't half bad for $ .

Trouble was I had to give
them an IOU for as a deposit.

- Oh, yeah.
- Alright, listen.

- Keep your head down.
- Keep your head down.

Pretend like you're working.

What do you mean, "pretend?"

You know, like you
usually do at the office.

Oh, good grief.

Oh!

- What... please!
- Oh, excuse me.

Didn't I tell you to follow me?

- Yes.
- Well, do it. Come on.

Come on now, Mary
Beth. Don't touch anything.

But I've gotta read
the tachometer.

- Mary Beth, you..
- Hey!

What's going on?

Mary Beth, what the heck
do you think you were doing?

That was a stupid
thing you did there.

- I was trying to read the tach.
- You could've got us k*lled.

If you wanna know
what the engine rpms are

why don't you just ask me?
I am the driver. Remember?

Well, I am the owner. Remember?

It's your car..

You drive it.

'That is it.'

'If you think
Mr. Carver is trouble'

this girl is a big problem.

Hold on a second.
She's just a spoiled brat.

We got a job to do and we're
doing it. We ain't backin' out.

You just keep
your wits about you.

Just cool down.

Yeah, alright. Alright.

Hold it right there, lover boy.

Mm-hmm.

If you think this is bad,
take a look at what's coming.
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