'Yee-haw!'
Now anybody with the
brains that God gave a goose
knows that Daisy Duke
wouldn't do any wrong.
Some folks ain't that smart.
I can't wait to hear how
Bo's doing in Talladega.
Oh hell, it's getting near noon.
We better hustle if we don't
wanna miss his phone call.
There's them Duke boys. We're
gonna cuff 'em and stuff 'em.
I love it, I love it.
'Great, one of Rosco's
phony speed traps.'
Ain't got time to
deal with him now.
Now these two slicks
headedfor Hazzard
are the traveling
fortune tellers
looking for some folks to
flim-flam. Look out, Hazzard.
Look out!
Where'd they go? You
don't know either, huh?
Head back and see if we
can help him fix the van.
Yeah.
Are you alright? We came
back to lend a hand. I'm so sorry.
You okay?
The spirits were lookin' over
us or we'd be in the hereafter.
Oh, excuse me.
This is Madame Delilah, the
world's greatest fortune teller.
And I'm her
assistant, Three Pack.
- How you doing?
- Pleased to meet you.
- I'm Daisy, my cousin Luke.
- Pleased to meet you.
And I really wanna
apologize for Sheriff Rosco.
- Bless you and thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
As a token of my appreciation
I will predict your
future at no charge.
- That won't be necessary, I...
- Come on, Daisy.
- I insist.
- Well, okay.
Oh, you have a
very strong heart line.
- I do?
- And will live a long life.
But your fate line shows
danger. Trouble is very close.
I heard that. Come on, let's go.
Bye-bye and thank you.
The locals around here look
like a soft touch, Madame D.
The vibrations are favorable.
We should do very
well in Hazzard.
Now, you don't have to
be no prophet to predict
that these two are gonna bring
a passel of bad
luck to the Dukes.
Now, don't worry, friends.
Flash is holding her steady.
You see, everybody
drives in Hazzard.
Oh, Flash, darling
you saved Daddy's life.
Oh, velvet ears, I'm gonna
vote you dog driver of the year.
Meanwhile, at the Boar's Nest
Boss Hogg's little
fat fingers was flyin'.
While his fat ears were
shutting out distraction.
What was that you
said, my little praline?
You heard me, sugar.
A $ , bonds remember
that my Uncle Jasper left me
years ago?
Well, they're comin'
due tomorrow.
Oh, yeah. Them
bonds, yeah, yeah.
I almost forgot about
them bonds, yeah.
Well, I didn't.
And at a.m. tomorrow morning
I'm gonna open that safe
and take those bonds out
and take 'em to the post office
and send them to the
company and cash them in.
Oh, well, wait a minute!
Well, you didn't, wait
up, hold everything.
There's no reason for you to
cash them bonds in just now.
Yes, there is. Oh, J.D.,
for the first time in my life
I'm gonna have some
mad money of my very own.
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Yeah, but don't cash...
I'm going to town.
Bye, sweet potato.
No! You don't have to
cash them bonds in, do you?
But, Lulu...
Dang-blast! Oh! Oh, oh.
As Daisy and Luke,
was meeting Uncle Jesse
Rosco was, well, being Rosco.
Boss, I didn't know
that you were relaxing.
You know nothing.
Lying on the floor's
good for your back.
I'm gonna be black and blue
all over before I'm through.
Listen, Boss, you know somethin'
I am absolutely
furious at them Dukes.
You know what I oughta do,
as they're always running away.
I oughta give old Daisy
Duke a double citation.
- What's wrong with your leg?
- No, don't touch me!
No, it ain't no vapor lock.
Just go away, will you?
And hush up for a change.
I mean, I got bigger problems
now than you or them Dukes.
My marriage to your
sister about to blow up
into itty bitty
little smithereens.
Oh, Well, listen. You just
tell old Rosco all about it
while I give old velvet
ears a drink, you know?
She drinks a lot of water
like a burnt-out camel.
And back in the main room
old Flim n Flam was
about to go into their act.
Hear ye, hear ye good
people of Hazzard County.
May I present to you the
world's famous fortuneteller
the all-knowing,
all-seeing Madame Delilah.
I mean, I must be losing
my mind or something.
How in the name
of all that's holy
could I have forgotten all about
them $ , worth of bonds
your Uncle Jasper left to Lulu?
- Oh, you forgot about that?
- I did.
- What's the trouble?
- I never told you this before.
But years ago I took
them bonds of Lulu's
outta that private wall
safe of hers, you see.
Then I went and cashed them in.
And tomorrow morning when
Lulu tries to cash in them bonds
she's gonna find
out they're fakes.
She's gonna know for sure
it was me who swiped them.
- And I'm gonna be a dead Hogg.
- Oh, I know.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's happening to my leg?
Wait a minute. Oh,
no, what did you do?
- Well..
- What did you do to me?
Wait a minute. Get this thing
off. Get it off of me, will you?
Look what you've
done. Oh, dagblast it.
Oh, Boss, don't...
Now, who's gonna
be first? Step right up.
Oh, me. Take me. I just
adore having my palm read.
The palm is the
window to the soul.
So just relax, my dear.
And I shall unveil your future.
Lulu is gonna snap
her girdle when she
finds you swiped
those bonds of hers.
I know.
She'll hit you with a
left hook or a right hook.
Then maybe she'll
really hurt you.
And then she'll
probably divorce you.
That's what's got
me scared silly.
If she divorces me that
little sugar pie of mine
is gonna grab everything I got.
- That's true.
- She'd take me to the cleaners.
- That's bad news.
- If so, your share goes too.
That's even worse.
Good grief.
Good, good, good.
She's still in there.
And finally we come
to the heart line.
Now, these three
branches right here
indicate that you
are most fortunate
in love and marriage.
Now, I gotta get me into town
and go and take them
fake bonds out of Lulu's safe
and make it look like
some crook done it.
- You rascal.
- Don't do that.
I got a chance to
save my marriage.
Don't forget your hat.
He's just so smart,
that little chub.
I'm never wrong.
If Boss thought he was
having trouble with one woman
in his life the problem was
fixing to be compounded.
And that you will be coming
into a large amount of money.
Madame Delilah, you've just
been right about every single thing.
How can I ever thank you?
Oh, of course.
Here you go, honey.
There, now. Oh,
that was wonderful.
- Thank you.
- Bye, everybody.
Lulu sure goes for that
fortune telling stuff, doesn't she?
Living with Boss will
drive you to a lot of things.
Good people, who's gonna be next
to be helped by the all-knowing
one, Madame Delilah?
Alright, you two.
We're not allowing
charlatans in this town
so I'm saying scoot.
Do you realize who I
am? How dare you?
Do you know who I am?
I am Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
And when he tells you
to scoot, he means scoot.
That goes for you too
you tiny little turban-tucker.
Oh, hush!
These country bumpkins
aren't as stupid as we thought.
Don't worry, Madame D. I
had time to case the place.
We'll come back
after they close up.
Watch it! Watch it! Watch
it! Alright, I gotta get home.
Yeah, here I am! I made it!
I gotta get in there
and save my marriage.
If I do nothing else today
that's what I gotta do.
Oh, I made it.
Alright, alright, alright.
Not a moment to lose.
I gotta get them fake
bonds out of this here safe.
There, that's it. Oh, it ain't.
I know what. She done
changed the combination!
Okay. It's closing
time, everybody.
- Us too?
- Yeah, you too.
Alright, we got
chores to do anyway.
I'll lock up and
I'll see you there.
- You come right home now.
- I will.
Meanwhile, outside
them two phony fortune
tellers was lying in wait.
And pretty soon the
last customer had left
and Daisy was locking up to
get ready for the evening crowd.
Hello, Boar's Nest.
Daisy Duke speaking.
Is Boss Hogg there?
No, sorry, he's
not in right now.
He's probably at
his office in town.
Uh-huh, yeah he's in
the County Building.
Oh, where's that?
That's across from
the square in town.
Right next to the
fire department.
Next to the fire station?
Yeah. Yeah. There
you go. That's it.
Uh-huh, okay. Well,
you're very welcome.
Yeah, no problem, bye-bye.
Come on.
Got it.
This is Daisy Duke
calling the sheriff.
This is Daisy Duke
calling the sheriff, Rosco?
'There's been a holdup
at the Boar's Nest.'
Rosco, come in.'
This is Rosco. A holdup, huh?
Well, a holdup is
my middle name.
I'll be right there
because I'm very close by.
Oh, goody gumdrops.
A holdup, that's serious.
I'll be right behind Rosco,
Daisy. Hang in there!
Thanks, Luke. Hurry up.
Oh, Rosco, Enos, I
was counting the money..
And when I went
to answer the phone
I turned around,
the money was gone.
- I don't know what happened.
- Enos, we'll check all doors.
- Hey, Daisy.
- Luke.
The most awful thing happened.
I was sitting counting money
went to answer the phone...
and I turned around,
the money was gone.
Alright, alright.
Let's just hush it all
because I will take
over this investigation.
Let's get this straight. You
say all the doors were locked.
- Right?
- That's right.
You're the only
one in here. Right?
- That's right.
- And now the cash is gone.
- Correct.
- That's right.
Rosco, for the life of me
I don't know who took it.
Oh, I can. It just so happens,
this could only be one person.
And that's moi.
- Enos, cuff her and stuff her.
- Rosco, are you crazy?
Rosco, I don't know
what happened here.
Your out of your mind thinking
Daisy would steal that money.
Alright, I'm serious
now where's that cash?
Rosco, you got no right
to browbeat Daisy like that.
You better get
about the business
of finding out who did this.
Rosco, I'm telling
you I didn't take it.
And I don't know who did.
You ain't putting Daisy in jail
for something she didn't do.
You know, I'll bet Daisy
will be glad when Bo's back
so he could be the one
getting into all the trouble.
- You idiot! Get out of my way.
- Sorry, sheriff.
After them! Get that Daisy Duke!
Alright, Enos, this is your
superior officer,
Rosco P. Coltrane.
'Pull it over there.
Let me get by here.'
Enos!
En-Enos!
Good grief.
'Enos!'
Oh, Flash, we're gonna
take a bath. Help me!
Right in the old
Hazzard car wash.
Oh, sheriff, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to..
- Oh, Rosco's alright.
- Yep.
Call Uncle Jesse on the
CB and tell him to meet us
at Jensen's Hollow.
Alright.
Since old Boss
couldn't get into the safe
he figured he'll
have to true-love
Miss Lulu into giving
him the combination.
'Bye, Clara, honey. I
had a very nice time, dear.'
Jefferson?
Jefferson, are you here?
Oh, my.
Welcome home,
sugar plum pudding.
What a surprise. What
is all going on here?
Oh, just something
special I thunk up for you.
Come on over here, darling.
Yeah, sit yourself down
in this lovely loveseat.
Oh! J.D.
And I want you to have
some of these delicious
smoked hog-belly
tidbits I made for you.
They've been specially
soaked in gooseberry wine
and they go just
great with the bubbly.
Oh, J.D., this is
such a nice surprise.
And right in the
middle of the day.
In the middle of the day.
Oh, here, here.
There's one for you.
And one for me.
You know something,
my little sugar plum.
You know why our
marriage is so wonderful?
Because it's founded
on mutual love and trust
and sharing.
Sharing everything alike.
One for you and one for me.
- I feel just the same way, J.D.
- You do?
One for you.
And there's one for me.
You know something?
I want you to remember that
you can have anything I got.
Anytime. Anything.
Oh, that's so sweet of
you, my little candied yam.
Anythingat all.
Even, oh, the
combination to my safe.
Is that what this is all about?
Are you trying to get the
new combination to my safe?
Oh, is there a new one?
Oh. Well, no. No, of course not.
I mean, I'm-I'm just
talking about sharing.
Well, J.D., I already know
the combination to your safe.
Oh, yeah, you do. That's right.
- Of course you do.
- And you ain't getting mine.
Yeah, but wait a minute.
Suppose something, heaven
forbid, happened to you.
Nothing serious, mind you.
But, well, something like..
Permanently losing your memory.
Forget it, J.D.
My memory's just fine.
Matter of fact, I just
remembered that I have
a meeting I have
to go to right now.
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
So thanks for
the snack, lollipop.
You're welcome.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Well, that was a
howling success, Boss.
Old Rosco had to wait so
long for Enos and Cooter
that he was bone dry.
But mad as an old wet hen.
- Cooter.
- Sorry about that.
Yeah, tell Boss Hogg
I'm gonna send him a bill.
Better than that, I'm gonna
take it to him this afternoon.
Yes, It ought to pay my
mortgage for the next two months.
Y'all have a nice day. Ha ha ha!
Enos, it's all your
fault, you dipstick.
Now, get a rag and wipe
this vehicle off. I gotta go back.
Will you get up out of the
mud? Just, oh, look at that.
Meanwhile, Luke and Daisy
was meeting with Uncle Jesse
at their hideout in
Jensen's Hollow.
But I can't get over Rosco
wanting to throw me in jail.
Well, now, Luke and me
ain't gonna let that happen.
So just relax.
I don't understand. What
could've happened to that money?
One minute, it was just sitting
there. The next minute, gone.
I don't know how, but he did it.
You mean J.D.'d
steal his own receipts?
In a minute. So he can collect
from the insurance company
and double his money.
How could he do such
an awful thing to me?
If he smelled a profit, he'd
sell his mother to swap meat.
I ain't gonna let him get away.
I'm gonna have a talk with J.D.
Uncle Jesse, you put it in his
face he's gonna stonewall you.
'We're gonna have to get
the goods on him ourselves.'
I'll go into town,
nose around a lil' bit.
I'm going with you.
Daisy, ain't you been
through enough? Come on.
Luke, it is my reputation
and my future at stake here.
I'm going. And I'll tell you
what else, Luke. I'm driving.
So, come on.
Just like her mother.
Go with her.
Daisy Duke done what?
I said, she took the
cash from the Boar's Nest.
The Dukes stealing?
Guess nothing's sacred?
You don't worry, I'm gonna
catch her and put in the slammer.
'Just never mind about them.
I need you here, you hear?'
Because my sweet-talkin'
Lulu didn't work no how.
Them fake bonds of
mine are still in her safe.
What are we gonna do, Boss?
You tell Enos to
go after Daisy Duke.
When he gets her, throw her
in the pokey for grand larceny.
You get your tail back here
to my office on the double.
I need help.
That's a big - .
Alright, Enos, did
you hear the boss?
Go get Daisy Duke and
cuff her and stuff her.
We better stop off at home
and pick up that tape recorder
just in case Boss says
something we can use as evidence.
Okay. Luke, I sure am
sorry to drag you into all this.
Don't be ridiculous, Daisy.
You know if you're involved,
I'm involved. Come on.
Would y'all believe
that them two thieves
still hadn't left Hazzard?
Like two foxes looking
over a new chicken house
They was just getting started.
Did you see that, Flash?
That's that van with
those, with those con artists.
You know, I been wondering
I understand Flash, but how
does Flash understand Rosco?
It's the law. Do you
think he's wise to us?
Just play it cool.
Stay here, velvet ears.
We got another one. Alright.
Alright.
Now, I thought I told you
con artists to get outta town.
We are not con
artists, my good man.
We are practitioners
of the occult.
Shame, shame. What
kind of language is that?
Listen, my dog Flash is present.
Do what I tell you. Back it up
and move it on down the road.
- Alright, alright.
- I'll put you in the slammer.
Just move it on.
'Tea leaves. I'll
read their tea leaves.'
If they're leaving, I'm
a Mongolian aviator.
And I can't even fly a kite.
Yeah, well, I guess I told them.
Now lemme see here.
They got a recorder to get
the goods on Boss,
who didn't do it for once.
And them what did have
been ordered out of town
by the police.
You know, it takes
guts to live in Hazzard.
Good, Rosco's back.
Maybe he'll say something to
Boss and get you off the hook.
'Good news, Boss.'
I got Enos out there and
he's gonna catch Daisy Duke.
- Put her in the slammer.
- Alright, that's good.
'Then he's gonna put
Luke in the slammer'
'for aiding and
abetting her escape.'
'Alright, well,
that's even better.'
'Because, you know
something. I-I mean'
I just couldn't believe that
Daisy Duke would stoop
so low as to steal any cash.
'Oh, no, because
she's not the type.'
That gave me a
quiver in my liver.
I'm not surprised.
'You know, those Dukes really
must be hard up for money.'
'Hard up? That's
because of their farm.'
'They'll never
make a living on it.'
Luke, they really
think I did it.
Yeah, they didn't frame
you. Well, that's a switch.
I don't know if
it's good or bad.
Who could've done
it? And how? Why?
We're gonna have to find
them or else Boss and Rosco
are gonna railroad you
on circumstantial evidence.
Don't say it. The Boar's
Nest was locked up tight.
I just, I don't understand.
Well, let's go over there
and give it a good going-over.
- Okay.
- Daisy, Luke!
I hate to do this,
but I gotta arrest y'all.
- Oh, oh.
- Halt!
Thanks for the warning, Enos.
Don't run!
Hey!
You know, Uncle Jesse,
I believe I just heard
I got an emergency call.
Ha ha. Yeah, I think you have.
'Hey! Let me down. Help!'
Cooter, slow it down.
Cooter, stop now!
Let me down! Cooter!
Cooter, stop!
Cooter, stop! Cooter!
Ha ha ha.
- I guess we owe Cooter one.
- We sure do.
We better get to
the Boar's Nest.
You got it.
Cooter, let me down please.
Cooter... please let me down.
Cooter.
Enos..
What you doing attached
to my truck like this?
I didn't wanna be
attached to your truck.
You know, there ain't no free
rides in this world anymore?
I'm gonna send Boss
Hogg a bill on this now.
I didn't hurt it, Cooter. I
didn't mean to. Honest, I..
Thank you for letting
me down, Cooter.
Rosco, I tell you. If I
don't get them fake bonds
of mine out of Lulu's
safe by this morning.
I'm ruined. She's gonna
take me for everything I got.
- And maybe even more.
- Yeah, maybe.
You know, I think
I've got the answer.
It's those flimflamming
fortune tellers.
You know they've
probably put a hex on you.
Are you kidding? I don't
believe in that sort of hokum.
I mean, Lulu, well, she
may be a pushover for that
kind of stuff, but
uh-uh, not me.
Oh, me neither.
Wait a minute.
- You just give me an idea!
- I did?
My, oh, my, you
sure are brilliant.
- I am?
- Yeah, yeah.
Lulu's always falling for that
sort of mystic mumbo jumbo.
So maybe, just maybe.
I can hire them
two fortune tellers
to fast-talk the new combination
of her safe right out of her.
Wait a minute. Do you
smell something burning?
- Maybe it's your cigar.
- No, that ain't it.
- Boss, listen.
- What, what?
How they gonna do that?
'How? How? How?
How? I'll tell you how.'
By reading her mind.
Yeah, or her tea leaves.
Or her double chins.
Who cares? Listen, I'm
desperate. I'll do anything.
Now, where'd you say
them fortune tellers are?
Don't worry about them.
I run 'em outta town.
'Listen, you just get
out there, you hear?'
And you find 'em two con
artists and drag them back here.
Tell 'em I got some honest
money they can earn for a change.
What, What are you staring at?
Well, isn't that smoke
coming outta your drawers?
My drawers? What? What?
What are you talking about?
'No, no! What
are you staring at?'
I told you to hurry, didn't
I? Get going! Get going!
Bring me them fortune tellers!
Meanwhile, old Flash had
been practicing starting the car.
They're gonna make a police
dog out of that basset yet.
Alright. Hang on, Flash.
- What do we look for?
- Well..
We look for some way
that the crook, or crooks
as the case may be,
could've got in without you
seeing them.
Okay.
I had the money on the
table, I went to the phone
when I came back, it was gone.
Why don't you check
the cash register.
- I'll look in the kitchen.
- Alright.
Now, luckily for Rosco,
them two was still in town.
Unluckily for them folks
what had been fleeced
but lucky for the Dukes
because they still had a chance
of catching them,
with a bit of luck.
You'll be just fine.
Daisy, look at this.
Wide open.
Well.
Luke, only a little child
could fit through that opening.
Or a little person.
Mean like that fortune
teller's little flunky Three Pack?
Here, look at this.
- 'It's some red thread.'
- He had a red vest.
He could've done it.
That's right, he
must've done it.
He could have swiped the money
and got out before you saw him.
- Oh, boy. I'm calling Rosco.
- Daisy?
I'll still be in trouble, won't I?
Unless we find him ourselves.
Let's hope they haven't
left the county yet.
We'll CB Uncle Jesse
and Cooter on the way.
That's right, Flash.
You sniff and I'll look
and we'll catch
those charlatans.
It's Smokey again.
That's them, Flash.
Oh, ho ho. I love
it, hot pursuit.
Alright.
Now, sheriff, I must object to
this unwarranted harassment.
You see, there you go with
that naughty language again.
Now Boss Hogg has got
a paying job for you two.
So you can just
follow me, half-pint.
And so while
Cooter and the Dukes
was hunting for
them fortune tellers.
They was having a secret
meeting with Boss Hogg.
'Let me get this
straight, Mr. Hogg.'
You would like me to
use my occult powers
to get your wife, Lulu,
to reveal the combination
to her private safe?
Yeah, that's right. You got it.
You see, it's a
friendly game that me
and my sugar plum
pudding are playing.
"Sugar plum pudding"?
Oh, that's what I
call my wife Lulu.
The fact is that she
bet me I couldn't find out
the combination to her safe.
And I bet her I could.
I see. And if the cosmic forces
are with me and I succeed?
Then I won't fine you for
practicing your black arts
in my county without a license.
And I might just kick in
an itty-bitty little donation
to your kitty.
And you can believe it's
gonna be itty and bitty.
It's nothing personal.
Rosco, would you..
- You have a deal, Mr. Hogg.
- I've got a deal!
While the Dukes was
looking for the ones
that robbed old Boss.
Boss, not knowing,
had just hired them
to do it again, It
just wasn't his day.
And meantime, Jesse and
Cooter had struck pay dirt.
A farmer had seen
the fortune tellers
being stopped by Rosco.
Breaker One,
Breaker One, I be crazy
but I ain't dumb, crazy
Cooter coming at you
Lost Sheep, Bo
Peep, y'all in Hazzard?
'Them fortune tellers are
headed back to Hazzard.'
Then that's where we're
headed, Cooter. Thanks.
'Oh, there they go.
There's the van.'
'Rosco, wake up.
Wake up, Rosco! Look.'
Look. Ha ha ha. They came.
Madame Delilah.
Whatever brings you here?
I had to come back, my dear.
After you left, my vibrations
about you suddenly changed.
I now have the
premonition that you may be
in some kind of trouble.
Oh, my. Well, come in, please.
Oh, ho ho ho.
- Step one worked.
- Yeah.
- Lulu let them in.
- Oh, goody gumdrops.
There's the
fortune tellers' van.
'Let's take a look.'
'There's that
cash-grabbing, Daisy Duke.'
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Oh, oh.'
- I'm gonna arrest her.
- No, you ain't. No, you ain't.
Do nothing. Do nothing.
Well, we can't do nothing
while them con artists
are in there with Lulu
you dodo, sit still.
- It's only gonna take a second.
- No, we can't.
I am the sheriff. I
gotta do my duty.
I don't wanna create
any kind of commotion.
Don't do it!
- Rosco, I'm asking you..
- Alright, Daisy Duke.
I saw you. Alright now,
you're under arrest.
Rosco, we got
something to tell ya.
We know who
committed the robbery.
Oh, tiddly-tuddly,
never mind that.
Come on. You're
both under arrest.
- Rosco, listen to me.
- No, I ain't gonna listen.
Let them be. Let them be.
Daisy, listen. Why don't
you just get in the car?
- Now, listen.
- No, sir. No, listening.
I am gonna arrest you.
Daisy, wait a minute,
don't get in that car.
Daisy. Alright, come
on out of there. Daisy.
Freeze!
Rosco, just let them
be. Let them be.
I ain't going to.
They've made me mad.
We gotta stay
close to the house.
Bunch over there.
Come on, let them be,
would you? No, no, no!
- Yeah, back up. That's it.
- Hey, no, no, no!
But I don't understand,
Madame Delilah.
You still haven't told me
what kind of trouble I'm in.
I feel that you are hiding
some deep, dark secret.
Secret? I don't know of any.
Well, let me see. If I can
penetrate the unknown.
Here comes Enos at
the worst possible time.
I've even forgot who he's after.
Alright, you Dukes.
Alright, get out of there.
Okay, get your hands up.
I mean, grab some blue.
Rosco, you gotta listen to us.
We tried to tell you, 'em
fortune tellers took the money.
What are you talking about?
That little guy Three
Pack with the fortune teller?
Well, he climbed through
the air conditioning vent
and he stole the money, Rosco.
Oh, tiddly-tuddly,
I don't believe that.
You're just lying to me again.
I'm gonna have to
cuff you and stuff ya.
I have a feeling of numbers.
Some kind of
combination of numbers.
The combination to a safe.
Well, I do have a safe, but..
The numbers that you are
hiding are six right, left
and right.
Oh, Madame
Delilah, you're wrong.
No, no. It is nine right,
left and right.
I'm so sorry, you must
accept my apology.
My mind is tired.
This has been an awfully long...
Oh, that's alright, honey.
You know, Mrs. Hogg, I just
cannot concentrate in here.
If you will permit me, I
shall continue this reading
outside in my van
with my crystal ball.
- It's much better.
- You think it is?
I can get a good reading,
yes. Now, come right along.
Boss, you can arrest us, but
you're making a big mistake.
Because the fortune tellers are
getting away with your money.
'Alright, well, maybe
they ain't lying.'
What's going on here,
Rosco? What's all this doodah?
Enos, let me do it.
Rosco, don't handcuff them
two, they're the wrong ones.
- You two stay out of this?
- Daisy never stole nothing.
They're getting away!
They're getting away, sheriff!
Can you keep up now?
- Wait!
- Freeze!
Come on back, will you? Rosco!
- Watch out!
- Will you quit?
Rosco, don't do it
now! Leave them alone.
The crystalline
will speak to us all
if you keep your
eyes upon the ball.
Eyes upon the ball.
Madame Delilah, tell
me something, please.
Alright, come back
here, you thieves!
Come back!
Come back here! Rosco!
Come back here, you hear me?
Oh, uh.
Oh, I am so
relieved. I was wrong.
Your future looks bright
and clear in the crystal.
- It does?
- It does.
- And the crystal never lies.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, that's wonderful, madame.
- Happy days.
- I am so glad to hear that.
- Happy days ahead for you.
- I'm so glad to hear that.
- Yes.
I am way behind schedule
and I must be on my way.
I was worried when
you came. Yes, oh, my.
- Come, Three Pack.
- That's wonderful!
- Bye, now. Oh, I'm so happy.
- Bye, honey. Thanks.
- Bye, now.
- Bye. Bye.
- Hey! Hey, there they are!
- Stop!
You alright?
Would you stop worrying
about me and come on.
'I've been robbed!
I've been robbed!'
Oh, J.D., they busted into my
safe and they took everything.
- Who?
- The $ , in bonds.
I'll tell you who.
It was them dang blasted
fortunetellers, wasn't it?
Rosco, I told you we never
should have left this house.
Listen, if you don't
catch them, I'll-I'll..
Wait a minute. What
am I screaming for?
I didn't plan it this way. But
I'm rid of them fake bonds.
- Oh, the fake..
- Da-da-da-da-da.
But listen, Boss. There
may be a flaw in the slaw yet.
If the Duke boys catch them
and get them with those fake...
You're gonna be right
back into the frying pan.
You mean, if the Dukes..
Oh, for once, you're right.
Come on, come on!
We gotta go after them!
We gotta keep them
Dukes from catching
them fortune tellers.
Watch out! Watch out!
- Where did they go?
- This way.
- That van can really move.
- I'll say. Come on, General.
It's Rosco.
- Pull over. Pull over.
- Alright, Dukes, we got you.
- Now, pull it over.
- Back off, Rosco.
We're trying to
catch them thieves.
- Oh, no, you don't.
- You're under arrest.
They're getting away.
Rosco, stop them.
'Dagblast it!'
I'm gonna have to
take a shortcut here.
- Shift down.
- Alright.
- There they are.
- Hang on.
'Don't stop, just
go around them.'
'We're not gonna make it.'
I can't get it open.
- We gotta get them out.
- That thing's gonna blow.
- Someone help us.
- Help!
- Hurry. It's gonna blow up!
- Hurry!
Come on. Push on it.
- Oh, thank you!
- Save us!
- Get out of there, come on!
- Get her out of here.
Crawl up behind that
log. Come on, up the hill.
There you go.
- Come on. Get down, get down!
- Okay, okay.
You both alright?
Yeah!
- Hey, hold on a second.
- Alright, you little monster.
You tell me where that money is
you've given me enough trouble.
It was in the van.
It's in the van.
Everything's in the van.
Did you say everything
was in the van?
Boss, that means your
bag of cash was in there too.
Oh, my money? Who
cares about that cash?
- What?
- 'That's chicken feed.'
Great balls of fire, Rosco!
You heard that, didn't you?
Yeah, everything in the
van has been destroyed.
That means them bonds.
Yeah, they're all b*rned up.
- Oh, them bonds!
- Yeah, cinders and ash!
Good news!
And so thanks to the Dukes
them crooked fortune
tellers was put behind bars.
Poor old Bo, he's
been missing all this
having to make do with the
dull life on the racing circuit.
There it is.
- Hello, the Boar's Nest.
- "Hello, Boar's Nest" yourself.
How you doing? Nice
to know you're still alive.
Alright. Not much going on.
I'm sitting here in the team
owner's office, you know.
- How's Uncle Jesse and Daisy?
- They're just fine.
They're right here. Hold on.
Bo, how you doin'? We miss you.
Boy, I miss y'all too.
I'm doing fine. sh**t,
working day and night.
What're you doin', testing
engines at night, Bo?
- Here's Uncle Jesse.
- Hey, Bo..
How's that rooming
house you're staying at?
The rooming house is
good. The room's kinda small.
Feet hang off the
side of the bed..
But that's okay, I'm
not there that much.
Yeah, well, goodbye.
Just a minute.
Hey, Bo, we all really miss you.
You take care of yourself, okay?
And poor Boss had to
replace everything Lulu had
in her safe,
including the bonds.
She was so thrilled that she
moved back into his bedroom.
He'd have been happier if
she'd just cooked something.
And Daisy Duke's
good name was cleared
not that it could
ever be smirched.
And we ended up with one of
them happy Hazzard endings.
sh**t, I didn't need no
crystal ball to predict that.
06x21 - The Fortune Tellers
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Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.