I'll keep them quiet
as I can, Steve,
but you know how
things are around here.
I know how they are. Hi, Dad.
Good morning. How
come you're up so early?
Well... ROBBIE: Hey! Hey, Dad,
how come you're almost
finished with breakfast
when we haven't
even started yet? Well...
Do you guys always have
to use up all the hot water?
No, we didn't. What are
you doing up so early, Dad?
Well, they're having
a breakfast dance
at the country club
this morning, and I...
No kidding! Oh, Chip,
do you always have to buy
everything everybody tells you?!
No, it's just that I have to
get down to the plant early
to pick up some priority stuff.
Get your dishes if you
want some oatmeal.
Look, boys, this week I'm going to
have to be working here at home...
Look out, Mike, I
want to get a dish!
Oh, watch out! Fellas!
Oh!
Fellas, be a little quieter.
Somebody want to get belted?
- What did we do?
- I found my plate.
Sounds like a convention
of wounded parakeets.
Boys, do you mind
if I say something?
Yeah, sure.
This week, I'm going to have
to be working here at home.
It's a rush job.
The Air Force wants me to be
in Washington on Saturday
with some finished plans.
So, this week...
So, you three
walking wind tunnels
will have to cut
it down to a roar.
That's, uh, all I
was trying to say.
Dad, I know how to behave.
That was just an accident.
Yeah, sure, Dad.
What do you think we are?
A bunch of kids or something?
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to hold you to it this week.
Bub, I'm going to
be working tonight,
so how about having
dinner at 6:30, huh?
You shall have it.
Oh, man, this is a great start.
I'm late already.
So long, Dad.
See you-all tonight.
Bye, Dad. Bye, Dad.
They're really putting
the pressure on Dad, huh?
They sure are.
You mean like when Miss Bergan
gives arithmetic tests,
and she already has a headache?
Worse. Boy, poor Dad.
Now, starting this minute,
you'll have to keep
things smooth for your dad.
You're lucky I got
good brakes, Mac.
Look, friend, this isn't a
throughway to Milwaukee.
It happens to be my driveway.
Yeah, well, let's
not get salty, Mac.
Let me talk to him.
It's my fault, sir.
I gave him the wrong address.
That's all right,
let's just forget it.
Now would you mind...?
Oh, that's very nice of you.
I'm sorry, really.
Look, ladies, I'm late for work.
Why don't we back
up so you can get out?
I think that would
be a wonderful idea.
What?
I said, I'm late for work!
Oh, yes, sir.
Oh, e-excuse me.
Long as the meter's
running, lady, I'm all yours.
Well, thanks, Bub.
Now, don't forget to
leave a tip for the waitress.
Like what?
Oh, I don't know.
Something she'll enjoy like...
carrying out a bag of trash.
Oh, come on, Bub.
Go on.
Robbie, quick!
Now what?
Where are you going?
Oh, boy!
Chip, come back here!
What's out there?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Boy, are you young.
If you got to have neighbors,
I guess that's the best kind.
I guess the Piersons decided
to rent their home
while they're away.
Yeah. ROBBIE: I'll
take the little one.
I'd say she wasn't
over 15 or 16.
No, you gotta be 21
to be a stewardess.
Well, maybe she
lied about her age.
Guys, this is a school
day, now get out of here.
Come on, you're
not nailed to the floor.
Get out of here.
Besides, it's rude.
You'd think they never
saw four good-looking girls.
Coming!
I hear you.
Would you, would you mind
pushing the door open yourself?
I don't want to get
the knob all gooey.
Oh, hi. Hi.
I'd ask you to shake hands,
but I don't think you'd like it.
Oh, I'm Anne Stoeffer.
Uh, three of my friends
and I have just rented
the house next
door. Oh, is that so?
I don't mean to
bother you, but...
Bother us?
We're more apt to bother you.
There are five
men in this house.
I know, Mike and
Robbie filled us in.
Our phone isn't
connected yet, Mr., uh...
O'Casey.
William Michael Francis
Aloysius O'Casey.
I'm a Spaniard.
Well, we're airline
stewardesses.
And until our phone's connected,
well, we have no place
to receive our flight calls.
Now, don't you worry about that.
Come on in.
We'll take care
of all your calls
and all your phone
messages and everything.
Have they turned
your gas on yet?
Um, not yet.
Well, why don't you get
the kids and bring them
over here, and I'll whip
them up a batch of coffee?
Oh, they'd love that.
Sure they will. Bread?
Yeah, yeah, gotta get the
air into it so it'll rise properly.
My, you certainly are expert.
Yeah, well, you see,
I did a juggling act in
vaudeville for a while.
But not for long.
Well, I'll go get the girls.
Yeah, bring them right over.
Mmm, that coffee smells good.
Thank you. Oh,
I'll get the sugar.
So, where do you
keep the teaspoons?
Right over there,
right over there.
There we are.
Now, ladies, my
cup runneth over.
Jeepers.
Oh, hi, Chip.
Ladies, this is my
youngest grandson, Chip.
Hi.
Chip, these ladies are Dodo,
Georgia, Ellen and Anne.
And a mighty pretty group
they are, don't you think?
Thank you.
Something tells me
this is going to be
my favorite neighbor.
Well, now, Chip, the lady
paid you a nice compliment.
Can't you say
something nice to her?
I don't know what to say.
Aw, come on, you can
think of something to say.
You smell a lot better
than my teacher.
All right, Robbie Douglas,
quit horsing around!
I'll fix him! How about that!
Hey! Cut it out, will ya?
Come here! Just
for that, young man!
Ah, yeah, we're
gonna get you now!
Better watch it. We
Douglas men are tigers!
Yeah? But there
are two Douglases...
Oh, hey, now, wait a minute!
Whoa! ROBBIE: I
didn't do anything to her.
Yeah, come on!
Quick! Aim for
the nostrils! Yeah!
Hey!
Well, are you through playing?
I'm sorry, Mr. Douglas.
It was an accident... sort of.
Dad, this is Ellen and Dodo.
They live here now.
I know. How do you do?
You fellows get
the sham, will you?
Yeah.
What, uh, airlines
are they with?
The rock and roll airlines?
Oh, heck, no, Dad.
They're all checked out
in jets and everything.
They're really nice kids, Steve.
I'm sure they are.
Well, uh, what else
happened today?
Well, I was late for school.
Why?
You were up and
dressed when I left.
Um... I was helping.
Who were you helping?
Uh, well, he was helping me.
And, uh, who were you helping?
The, uh, the girls.
With their luggage and stuff.
I see.
Was, uh, anyone
else late for class?
Not me. I didn't help anybody.
Now, look, far be it for me to
obstruct the return of chivalry,
but I think in the future,
you gentlemen should
stick to your own knitting.
I'm sure the girls will
get along very well
without your help.
Dad, if... if I may say so,
I mean, honestly speaking,
don't you think you're being
a little prejudiced
against those girls?
I don't believe so, no.
Well, you will admit that
you're being kind of crotchety.
I mean, they're
just... Crotchety?
That's sort of like
an old crank, Dad.
Thank you.
Well, if I'm crotchety,
it might be because
I have some very
important work to do.
Well, sure, Dad.
I will admit that my first
impression of the girls
was anything but favorable.
Is that all right?
Oh, yeah, so long as
you have an open mind.
Dad, seems to me that
you expect an awful lot.
I mean, how old do you think
a girl like Dodo is, anyway?
Too old for you.
Come on, come on, Dodo!
Go ahead, go ahead.
Oh! ROBBIE: I got it.
Yeah. That's right, our favor.
Come on, hit it!
Come on! Get it!
Come on, come on, Dodo!
Look, hey!
Would you mind
playing someplace else?
I'm trying to do a
little work up here.
Sorry, Mr. Douglas.
My dad's under pressure.
I understand.
He's crotchety, but
he's got an open mind.
Let's go up on the porch, huh?
Well, thanks, Ed.
I'll have it plotted out
by morning, I hope.
Don't worry about it, Steve.
If I don't have it by
9:00, I'll s*ab myself.
Well, see you tomorrow.
You'd better get
out of my chair, you.
Anybody home?
Bub?
Mike?
Robbie?
Chip?
Probably next door again.
Robbie, if you don't keep
your cotton-picking
hands off my bishop...
Anne, the front door!
I think you should call
it "Teeth I Have Known."
Oh, Mr. Douglas, come in.
I seem to have misplaced
my family, and I, uh...
Well, I thought some of them
might be camping out over here.
Dad, look how clear they
get channel three on their set.
Yeah, well, fellas,
it's about dinnertime.
You don't want to
overstay your welcome.
Oh, we enjoy having them.
Hey, kids, if you want to taste
some frosting that'll knock...
Oh, hi, Steve.
Bub, it's about time
for our dinner, isn't it?
Is it that late?
Bub, I wish you changed
your mind about tonight.
No, thanks.
Steve, the girls are having a
sit-down dinner here for 8:00.
It's Ellen here's birthday.
Oh, I see. Uh,
happy birthday, Ellen.
Thank you.
We'd love to have you
join us, Mr. Douglas.
Well, that's very kind of you,
but, uh, I'm going to have to
be working late tonight, so...
Some other time, then.
Yes, some other time.
Now, uh, come on, fellas.
Chip? Jeepers, but
the picture isn't over yet.
Well, we have a TV at
home. Now, come on.
Happy Birthday, Ellen!
Have a good time,
kids. Thank you.
Thank you. Bye.
Bye! STEVE: Good-bye.
Hey, hold it down, kid.
We're new in the neighborhood.
I am not.
I absolutely am not.
Just because I
called long-distance,
it doesn't mean that
I'm guilty of anything.
How can I work
with that going on?
Got to get this finished.
After midnight.
Information, I'd like the
number of Miss Ann Stoeffer.
It's on Mill Street.
It's, uh, probably
a new listing.
It's Larsen 0-2-3-1-1.
Oh.
Operator... information.
I-I have the number.
Thanks very much.
Dad, they're just
having a little party.
I will try to keep an open mind.
What was that number again?
Larsen 0-2-3-1-1.
Thank you, and good night.
Wife?
Yes, it's Alice.
It is not a brawl.
Bill and Frank found a
bongo drum somewhere, and...
I do, too.
You know why I called?
I read a syndicated feature
in this morning's newspaper.
"Don't let a year go by
without telling her you love her."
The year's almost up,
so I called her to tell her.
Yes, Alice, I do admit
I reversed the charges.
But can you tell me why
you don't think it's
an honest sentiment
because I called collect?
Look, operator, nobody
can talk that long.
The phone must be off
the hook or something.
Somebody is talking
on that line, sir.
Well, could you cut in?
Is it an emergency, sir?
Well, yes, it... well, uh...
well, it's not a matter of
life and death, but, uh...
Look, couldn't you
cut in just this once?
Who'd know?
I'd know, sir.
All right.
Thank you.
That's all I need, is an
operator with scruples.
Someone's at the door.
I'll get it.
I'd like to speak to
Miss Stoeffer, please.
Yes, well, come on in.
No, thank you.
I'll wait out here.
Come on in. You can't
stand there looking like that.
What will the people
next door think?
How true.
I-I-I said I'll stay
out here, thank you.
All right. I'll see
if I can find her.
Now, don't you go
wandering around.
Where's Ann?
Kitchen.
Well... what's this?
Trick or treat?
I'm waiting for Miss
Stoeffer. Well, come on in.
You'll get arrested
standing out there.
I'll wait out here, thank you.
Oh, Mr. Douglas.
Uh, uh, won't you
come in? No, thank you.
Now, look, Miss Stoeffer,
I don't want to sound
like a bad-tempered old
neighbor who just doesn't like
to see the kids on
the block have any fun,
but I do have an extremely
important deadline to meet,
so if you could spare me
the hi-fi and the bongos
for a just a few hours, I...
I promise you, I'll
never bother you again.
Mr. Douglas, a-a few extra
people dropped by and...
Good night.
Oh, hi, Mike.
Say, Mike, uh, give me a
hand with these plans, will you?
I'm just about
finished with them.
If I can keep moving
along like I have been,
I'll be on that plane for
Washington tomorrow.
A happy thought, huh?
Uh, straighten out this
side for me, will you?
What's wrong, Mike?
Nothing. Well, sure, there is.
You've got a face a mile long.
Hi, Rob.
Robbie?
Yeah, Dad?
Uh, come here.
All right, you two.
Uh, why the faces of tragedy?
Oh... no reason.
Oh, come on, now.
Well, you shouldn't
have done it, Dad.
Yeah.
I shouldn't have done what?
Boy, are they sore!
I don't blame them.
Who's sore?
Well, the girls, of course.
You shouldn't have
finked on them, Dad.
What do you mean,
finked on them?
They're darn hurt,
and I can't say I blame them.
I mean, calling
the police and...
and breaking up that
party of theirs last night.
I saw you flapping around
there in your bathrobe,
but you shouldn't have
called the law, Steve.
After all, cold drinks
and sandwiches
are not exactly
an orgy, you know.
I didn't call the police.
You didn't? No.
Maybe the people
on the other side did.
I did bawl the
girls out a little,
but I didn't call the police.
Really? No. Oh,
man, that's great, Dad.
Well, that changes everything.
Wait a minute. Where you going?
To tell the girls
you aren't a fink.
Yeah, a minute ago,
when they said you were,
we didn't have
a leg to stand on.
Bub, uh... Yeah?
Just what is a fink?
I don't know, but
something tells me
you want to be
glad you're not one.
Uh, come in.
Oh, no, no, wait, wait.
Oh!
That's all right. Oh, I'm sorry.
I just had the whole
thing laid out here,
so I could get a better
overall picture of it.
Sort of, uh, rolls up like
wallpaper, doesn't it?
Uh, come in, won't you?
Oh, thank you.
Uh, Georgia and I just
got our flight orders,
and Dodo and Ellen
leave tomorrow,
but, well, we
didn't want to leave
without apologizing
to you for last night.
Oh, well, there's no
need to apologize.
Uh, here, sit down, won't you?
Thank you. Ellen's...
If it hadn't been for
this horrible deadline,
you never would
have heard from me.
Well, Ellen's birthday
dinner just got out of hand.
You know, people
started to call and drop by,
and pretty soon, we
had a whole houseful,
and we just lost control.
Well, that's easy to understand,
but there's no
need to apologize.
I'm sure, when you're sober,
you're a very nice young lady.
Exactly what do
you mean by that?
Oh, I meant sober,
as opposed to playful,
not sober, as opposed to...
Mr. Douglas, we were loud
and inconsiderate last night...
That's true... But we
were not having a brawl.
Oh, no, no. Of
course, you weren't.
You know, the way the
airlines package you girls
these days, with your
m*llitary uniforms and all,
it's, uh... well, it's easy
to forget that some of you,
like, uh, Deedee and Helen...
Dodo and Ellen.
Yes, uh, Dodo and Helen are, uh,
well, not too long
out of high school.
They're full of
teenage spirits and...
Mr. Douglas, I think
you're trying to be pleasant.
I... I meant animal
spirits, uh, not...
What I'm trying
to say is that...
I think I know what
you're trying to say.
Mr. Douglas, may I remind you
that we're not
juvenile delinquents
just because we...
we like to laugh
at midnight with a few friends.
Nor are we a menace to society
because we indulge
in a little horseplay
on the lawn with a hose.
You may not believe this,
but we know what
responsibility is.
We even knew we were
wrong to make so much noise
last night when you
were trying to work,
for which I have been
trying to apologize
for the past ten minutes.
Well, I guess I've
got everything.
You sure you got your
plane ticket? Oh. Yep.
Dad? Yes?
Could you bring me back a hunk
of the Washington Monument
for my rock collection?
You'd better be kidding.
Yeah, you'd better be kidding.
Well, Bub, wish me
luck at the Pentagon.
Plenty of luck...
You may need it.
He, uh, doesn't know, huh?
No, I didn't say
anything. Me, neither.
Well, how long does it take to
drive to the airport? About 20 minutes.
Well, he'll know in 20 minutes.
Come on, fellas. I'm late.
Okay. Okay. Here we come.
Good-bye.
Welcome aboard, Mr. Douglas.
Thank you.
Well... well, this
ought to be a fun flight.
Dancing in the aisles,
water fights, huh?
Seat 3-C, Mr. Douglas.
May I take your coat?
Yes.
No tying it in knots, now.
I hope you enjoy
our flagship, sir.
All the mature passengers
find it exceptionally quiet.
Thank you.
Welcome aboard.
Oh, hostess.
I, uh, hope you
didn't think that I...
You may remove
your safety belt, sir.
We reached altitude
some time ago.
Thank you.
This is your captain speaking.
We understand there
is a Dr. Gordon aboard.
Will he please report
to the stewardess.
Thank you.
I'm not an MD...
I'm a dentist...
But maybe I can be of some help.
Excuse me.
Is, uh, everything all right?
Yes, it's all under control.
Good. What was the trouble?
A mother has a
three-month-old infant.
Stopped breathing
for some reason. Wow.
But the two girls
handled it beautifully.
They did? Yes.
They showed remarkable
judgment for such young girls.
You know,
mouth-to-mouth respiration
is a fairly new technique,
but they handled
it like experts.
Well, what do you know?
They run a pretty
nice, uh, car wash, too.
I beg your pardon?
Oh, uh, nothing.
Oh, come in, Mr. Douglas.
Hello, Ann. Nice to see you.
Hi, Steve. Oh, hi, Dad.
Hi, fellas. How come
you're back so soon?
Well, I got through a little
sooner than I expected.
Hey, how come you
brought pie over?
Yeah, and it's not mine, either.
No, I got it at the bakery, Bub.
When I left here a
couple of days ago,
I flew with Dodo and Ellen,
and I, uh, brought this
pie to eat in front of them.
You... you brought the pie here
to eat in front of them?
Yes, I thought it'd be
a little tastier than crow.
It's humble pie.
Something tells me we
should all eat it, Mr. Douglas.
Come on in the kitchen.
Will you carve? I would love to.
Come on, Ellen.
I'll fix us some coffee.
Well, everything quiet
on the home front, Bub?
Things are fine, Steve. Good.
Dad? Hmm?
What kind of pie did
you say that was again?
It's humble pie, Chip.
Bub will explain it to you.
Chip, eating humble pie
is just an expression
that means, "I'm sorry."
What's it taste like?
Well, when you
finally get around
to eating it, it
tastes pretty good.