01x12 - How Great Thou Art

[bunniefuu]

When we first moved to New York,

we had a great apartment
that was dirt cheap.

And we found out
why it was so cheap.

Our friend Amy said

there was a great
apartment in her building.

Dirt cheap. But it's
a hotel for women.

Okay. We made one adjustment.

Now these other ladies know
us as Buffy and Hildegarde.

But they also know
us as Kip and Henry,

Buffy and Hildy's brothers.

I am, uh, crazy about
the blond. Heh-heh.

This experience is
gonna make a great book.

See, it's all perfectly normal.

♪ I'd like to be J. Paul Getty ♪

♪ That gig Has got potential ♪

♪ But the only thing
That's essential ♪

♪ Is having a friend Like you ♪

♪ Well, you can try
To shake me loose ♪

♪ Don't try To shake me ♪

♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪

♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪

♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with ♪

♪ Oh-ohhh ♪

♪ Try to shake me loose ♪

♪ Don't try To shake me ♪

♪ And you can leave
If you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna Be
right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ Try to shake me loose ♪
♪ Ohh ♪

♪ You can tell me to go away ♪

♪ But it doesn't
matter What you say ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

Well, look, Kip, if you
don't like the gravity boots,

I can always exchange
them for something else.

No, no. I-Isabelle.

They're a thoughtful,
zany kind of gift.

And really practical too.

You see, what they do is
they straighten out your back,

and they rearrange
all your internal organs.

Oh. All right, okay.
Heh. Heh-heh.

Thank you, Isabelle.

I... I thank you from
the bottom of my heart.

Which you are about to
see come out of my nose,

with the rest of my stomach.

Can I get up, please?

I... I think I'm losing
consciousness.

Oh, sure.

Hey, Sonny, you seen
the instruction booklet?

Not me, boss.

Well, what did you do
with it? Didn't I tell you...?

Come on! Up, up, up!

Oh, boy, this is fun.

You okay? Yeah.

Oh. Okay, fine, thanks.

Boy, Isabelle...

I thought I was gonna
get one of these AM/FM

portable cassette kind
of carry-around things that

I'd never be able to use...

But no, I got gravity boots.

Oh, boy.

Oh. Kip, you look
better already.

Those cute little veins
popping out all over your head.

Just like Scanners.

Okay.

Where are my presents?

I want more presents.

♪ Oh, put another candle
on Your birthday cake ♪

♪ We're gonna bake
A birthday cake ♪

♪ Put another candle
on Your birthday cake ♪

♪ You're another
Year old today ♪

Yay! Thank you.
That's beautiful.

♪ We'll have some
pie And sandwiches ♪

♪ And chocolate ice cream too ♪

♪ We'll sing and
play The day away ♪

♪ And one more
thing I'm gonna do ♪

♪ I'll blow out the candles
on Your birthday cake... ♪

That's enough for now!

It's my cake.

Make a wish!

♪ Oh, he blew out the
candles on His birthday cake ♪

Thank you, Sheriff John.

Wanna know what I wished for?

Yeah, what? What? What?

More presents!

Yeah!

Come on, load me
up! Heh-heh-heh.

Kip, I have something for you.

Oh, Sonny.

Oh, it's...

Sonny, Sonny,
Sonny, Sonny, Sonny.

Oh... Ooh.

New canvases!

They're fabulous. Yay!

Sonny, you didn't
have to get me these.

Yes, I did.

You asked me for them,

you gave me the
sizes that you wanted,

and where to buy them.

Kip, heh, I can take a hint.

There he is. The birthday boy.

Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late, Kipper. Well...

Hey, you look taller.

Yeah, my vertebrae
aren't touching.

So, what'd you bring me? Huh?

Birthday boy. What'd
you bring me? Ha.

Well, Kip-Vinci, Kipalangelo,

I think you're gonna
like this a whole lot.

Happy birthday, buddy.

"The Le Daux Gallery presents

"new directions in
American art. Alex Horn,

"Franklin Royce, Kip Wilson."

Oh! Oh, gosh.

Uh. What is this?

Oh, I know, heh-heh. It's
like one of those headlines...

The newspaper headlines
you get printed up

down in Times Square.

Uh, "Minnesota Fats
Elected Pope," heh.

No, it's... It's the real thing.

You said you wanted
an exhibition by summer.

Not this summer.

Well, I've been planning it.

I took your
paintings to a gallery.

You took my
paintings to a gallery?

Yeah, and they loved 'em.

Kip, you're getting
an exhibition.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I-I... I don't know what to say.

I... I-it's, uh, thoughtful and...
- Yeah.

Personal and, heh...

What a shame
I'm not gonna do it.

What are you talking
about? He's joking.

What?

I'm not gonna do it.

Oh, of course you will.
I'm not going to do it!

Look, don't press me on this!

Ah.

I don't know how you
could do this to me, Henry.

I'm not nearly ready
for an exhibition yet.

You're ready.

This Le Daux Gallery is
just a little hole in the wall

off the Bowery.

Little hole in the wall
off the Bowery, huh?

I guess there won't be
many people there, right?

Ah. Well,

Mrs. Le Daux did say she'd
invite some of her friends.

What friends, who?

Uh, a few critics from the
Times, The Village Voice,

Soho News.

Anyone else?

Bucky Dent, if
he can get a sitter.

He loves art. These...

That does it. That settles it.

Forget the whole thing.

Kip, come on, you're
a professional artist.

I don't understand you.

People see your
work all the time

in magazines, on billboards...

Those are magazines
and billboards.

Yeah. That's my job.

Painting is... Is my
lifeblood, my soul.

I put my guts into my painting.

You put that up on a wall,

people are gonna
be judging my guts.

I'm sorry.

No.

Kip Amos Wilson.

How can I convince
you you can do it?

You can't!

Look, Henry, will
you do me a favor?

Look at this.

It's my latest piece.

Now I want you to
look... Take a look at it.

Tell me what you think.
I want you to be honest.

I love it. Really.

I wipe my brushes on it.

See, Henry, you don't know
what you're talking about.

You're a friend. You
have a biased opinion.

You don't know
art when you see it.

This isn't bad.

See that?

I sort of like it.

Not bad.

Kip, I understand what
you're going through.

I mean, I go through
the same thing

every time I give
somebody something I wrote.

But... if they're at
all touched by it...

there isn't a feeling like
that in the whole world.

I want you to have
that, believe me.

I want to feel that too.

It's part of the game, son.

If you really want to grow...

it's time to go out...
and get some feedback.

Trust me.

I trust you, Wally.

So you'll, uh... You'll
show your stuff?

I'll show my paintings.

I draw the line at
showing my stuff.

Dad would get sore.

It's a nice gift, Henry.

Oh, that's okay. Give me half.

Thank you.

Jeez.

Kip. Another glass?

No, no, no, thanks.

One's my limit. Thanks.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

This is a disaster.

These people hate my work.

They're walking
up to it and saying,

Hmmm... Ah...

Well, they could be
saying "blech, yech."

What I want them to
say is "Mmmm, ahhh."

Mmmm, ahhh...

Mm.

Heh. Good dip.

Hey, Dipper.

Come on, this is
your birthday present.

Try and enjoy it.
Come on. Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Welcome to Le Daux.

I'd like to introduce our
three young artists to you.

First, from Michigan,
the Wolverine state...

he scored really
big here last month

with three sales
and two layaways.

He's got a great brush stroke.
Let's hear it for Alex Horn.

Next a rookie, hailing
originally from Ohio,

that great state
noted for... Cleveland?

He paints from his
right and his left...

Kip Wilson.

Finally...

Finally... Making his first

appearance of the season,

conceptual artist
extraordinaire...

Franklyn Royce.

What do you think?

Well, it certainly
looks like him.

I think he's hung crooked.

Hey...

I can buy a man for
a thousand dollars.

Ain't history ironic?

Oh.

What's your
feeling, Mrs. Landis?

It's daring,
innovative, shocking.

Gosh, do you think so?

I just thought of it
at the last minute.

He's doing Harry Houdini.

He... He's probably got
pigeons in his pocket.

Hey, they're coming this way.

I'm sure they're
gonna love your work.

Oh, it's wonderful stuff.

This stuff is Kip
Wilson? He's incredible.

He's just incredible.

He's just great. Incredible.

He's my favorite.
It's so lovely.

Wow.

Well, it seems... unfinished.

But maybe that
was your intention.

Maybe you'd like it better
if I stapled my nose to it.

Heh-heh. Heh-heh. It's...

Uh, Mr. Wilson, why on
earth would you call this

Aunt Sarah's Garden?

Because it's my
Aunt Sarah's garden.

Oh. How superficial.

You know, uh... my
mom used to say,

"If you don't have
anything nice to say,

you oughtn't to
say anything at all.

Heh.

Uh... Heh, heh.

This isn't just paint

up here, you... You folks. Uh...

This is blood a-a-and...
And sweat, plasma.

Well. That certainly
helps explain Peach Hell.

You know, I... I'm no critic.

But, uh... come on,

I mean, the guy
knows his blue. Ha.

Mr. Wilson, I have
just one question. Why?

I... I don't think I
have to justify myself

or... Or my work
to... To anybody. Uh...

I'm an artist.

This is my work.

If you look at it, you judge
it, then it stands by itself.

Gentlemen, let's
let it... stand by itself.

Eh, w-wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait just a minute.

Let... Let me get something
straight here, g*ng of three.

What you're saying is... Is
my work lacks originality?

That it's technically inept?

That's very well
said. Can I use that?

Sure.

Sure, sure, sh-sh-sh-sure.
Y-y-y-yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, may I ask
you a question?

W-what... What is
your collective opinion of

this piece right here?

What do you think of
this piece right here?

Well, I'd say it's
very good. Mm-hm.

It reduces experience to
its most elemental aesthetic.

Mm-hm.

It's quite profound
in its simplicity.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. It's...

It's the flag of Japan!

Kip, calm down, all right?

I'll handle this. Okay?

Oh, you will, huh? Well,
I think you've handled

just enough for one year.
I'm jokes to these people.

The Marquis de Sade over
here, well, he's the greatest thing

since Jiffy Pop.

The greatest thing
since Slim Whitman.

Meanwhile, I'm pimento
loaf to these people.

Thank you, Henry!

Thank you for this very
enlightening experience.

I'm sure it's going to
be a boon to my career.

My best friend,
ladies and gentlemen!

Trust me, he says.

Taxi!

Will you slow down? You
know I can't run in heels.

Good, I hope you break your leg.

Listen, buddy, if you're
gonna keep doing these shows,

you'd better learn to
take a little criticism.

That's it, you big sad moose.

Stop it!

Now... no man is
worth fighting over.

Especially no man you could get.

I just heard about
my brother Kip's

pathetic humiliation, and

I was explaining to Hildy how

once my brother
Kip thinks about it,

he'll want to push
her brother's face in!

Oh, well... Anytime, sister.

Name the place.

You know... if
you do this in mud,

you guys could earn
a couple of bucks.

See ya, honey.

That's a nice outfit
you're wearing.

Yes, it's very nice. I love it.

No, ow!

You...

Hello.

Girls, What's wrong?

Buffy thought she
saw a... A mouse.

It was a rat.

I know a rat when I see it.

It was a mouse.

Rat, rat, rat, rat, rat.

Well, it's gone now.

Ho-ho-ho! Don't I wish!

This is so ridiculous.

You're telling me.

A few people
criticized your work.

A few people? The
New York Times,

The Daily News,
The Village Voice.

Bucky Dent didn't show up!

They're on a road
trip in Oakland.

So you took a few
knocks. Everybody does.

I don't see what's so
traumatic about that.

Oh, you don't?

No!

Fine.

You're writing a book.

Let me see it.

Over my dead body.

It's not finished
yet... and it's rough.

It's crude.

Well, maybe what
you need is a little...

feedback.

Oh. Ah.

Easy, easy, easy.

I won't let what happened
today color my opinion...

but I will be honest.

Trust me.

Uh, ignore the typos.

I... I don't know
if you can read

some of that chicken scratch.

Oh.

This should be good.

"It was the first
time I saw myself

"in full makeup and dress.

"I wanted to know why I didn't
run away right then and there.

I also wanted to know what
I was doing later that night."

Okay, nice turn of phrase.

Deh, deh, deh.

"My buddy looked exactly
like Bea Arthur. We...

Well, I hope you're happy,

after putting me
through all this.

It's nice work, Henry.

I think it's going to
make a wonderful book...

and...

I'm glad to see that
at least one of us

is living up to his potential.

Hey, Kip.

Wait. Hey, I'm not finished yet.

I can still screw it up.

Artists.

Is my stuff really that bad?

I never thought it was bad.

It's not all great.
I know that, but...

I never really
thought it was bad.

I put a lot of care
into those things.

No, damn it. Now I know
some of that stuff is good.

What am I gonna do, Royce?

Didn't sell a thing.

I wish I could say the same.

I was just bought
by the Lipskys.

No kidding.

Hey, uh, congratulations.

Congratulations, my patoot.

How would you like to
hang in a condo in Jersey

for the next three years?

Hey, hey, hey,
uh... buck up, guy.

Uh... say...

Maybe you'll clash
with the wallpaper,

and they'll let you go.

Hey, Kipsky.

Lipsky! No, no,
not yet. Not yet.

Please, no, don't take me!

R-Royce... Hey, Royce.

Buddy of mine.

Oh. I thought you
were one of the Lipskys.

Hey, uh, a caution on keeping
this experiment up much longer.

Ten-four. Solid.

Kip, uh...

You made your point.

I'm sorry for what I
put you through today.

Uh, no, no, no,
i-it's all right.

I accept your apology.

Well, not so fast.

I'm not finished yet.

What, an apology
with a catch? J...

I can't even get a straight
apology from this guy.

Well. It's 'cause
it's not all my fault.

I... You're so damn insecure.

I mean, if you worry more
about what people think about

your work than what you're
trying to express with it,

You might as well
not have had the show.

Maybe you're not ready.

Maybe I'm not ready?

Where have I heard
those words before, Henry?

Oh, yes, I remember.

My very own lips.

Lipsky!

Lips, Royce.

Lips. WOMAN: Excuse me.

Do either of you know
anything about the artist who

did those paintings?

Uh, yes, the artist
who did those paintings

has retired to Miami
Beach. You'll find him at

the John Nagy Home for
Retired Artists working on his tan.

May I ask why you're interested?

Well, he's really
quite remarkable.

I mean, he's still very
rough, but he's got potential.

Do you notice the way
he cleverly synthesizes

two opposing images in order to

elicit a vivid
emotional response.

What else?

It touches me.

Lady... I love you.

Oh.

Um. Why are you
hugging a total stranger?

Let me introduce you to
the blithering artist himself,

Kip Wilson.

Oh. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Catherine Lawrence.

Ms. Lawrence... I love you! Oh.

You're very energetic. Huh.

Uh...

Well... can I convince
you to part with it?

Take it.

It's a gift.

Enjoy.

You know, you're a...
A very talented man,

and you should never
give your talent away.

But I'll be happy to buy
it from Mrs. Le Daux.

Oh, and I'm looking
forward to your next showing.

Mrs. Le Daux,
here you are. Good.

I'm so interested in
this new artist of yours.

He's a little
high-strung, but I think...

Hey, congratulations.

Thanks.

Nice lady.

Yeah.

Peach Hell will
have a nice home.

And I'm gonna miss it.

None of this would
have happened,

if you... I know.

Hadn't pushed me into this.

Well, yeah, that's why I
had half of an apology, but...

Are you ready to go home?

Well, Henry, I... I
think, if you don't mind,

I'd rather...

stay and contemplate that
empty space for a while.

Sure. Could you please?

Yeah. Heh.

Yeah, I'll... I'll go
contemplate that empty space.

Isabelle, Kip will
never use those.

Honey, are you kidding?

These gravity boots
are the perfect thing

to keep him in shape.

Sure, it's a good gift...

if you live in a cave
and suck blood.

Well, why don't you just
give him the receipt back,

and let him buy
something practical...

like helicopter underpants.

Oh, you're so funny.

Well, look. Look. I'll
just keep 'em myself.

I mean, hey, I'm
perfectly comfortable.

Fine.

Uh, where... Where you going?

See you later.

Hey, hey, guys.

Come back here. Get me down.

Hey, guys! Uh... Guys? Uh...

Hey, look. Don't
get any ideas, buddy.

Let me ask you something.

Did you wash your hands?

Disgusting... Get out of here!

♪ Just hangin' around ♪

Feet off the ground ♪