01x13 - Kip Quits

[bunniefuu]

In New York, we had an apartment

- that was dirt cheap.
- And we found out why.

Our friend Amy said there
was an apartment in her building.

Dirt cheap. KIP: But
it's a hotel for women.

Okay, we made one adjustment.

Now these other ladies know
us as Buffy and Hildegarde.

But they also know
us as Kip and Henry,

Buffy and Hildy's brothers.

I am, uh, crazy about
the blond, heh-heh.

This experience is
gonna make a great book.

See, it's all perfectly normal.

♪ I'd like to be J. Paul Getty ♪

♪ That gig Has got potential ♪

♪ But the only thing
That's essential ♪

♪ Is having a friend Like you ♪

♪ Well, you can try
To shake me loose ♪

♪ Don't try To shake me ♪

♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪

♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪
♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with ♪

♪ Oh, ohhhh ♪

♪ Try to shake me loose ♪
♪ Don't try to shake me ♪

♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ Try to shake me loose ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ You can tell me to go away ♪

♪ But it doesn't
matter What you say ♪

♪ It ain't any use ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

Kip.

Kip.

Hey, Ringo!

Take five, will you? It just...
That's a tiny bit distracting.

Sorry.

What...? What can they be
doi" in here, you know? Heh-heh.

What's the big deal with
this account all of a sudden?

Don't worry. I'm not worried.

Ha-ha, are you kiddin'?

Worried? Nonsense.

Hey, from the word go,
this campaign was gold.

I mean, we didn't just
come up with copy here.

We didn't just come
up with artwork.

We came up with advertising
of the gods, Henry von Daniken.

It's perfect, perfect,
perfect, perfect.

From the word go, I
knew we aced this one.

Had a gut feeling, you know.

I hate to tell you this.

Your gut is in for
a hideous surprise.

Gentlemen... and ladies,

first off, I wanna
say I'm damn proud

to be leading you on this,

probably the biggest ad
campaign of your careers.

Yes, sir! Yes, sir!

At ease.

Troops, this city
needs bus drivers.

Big, burly, butch bus drivers.

Men... or women.

And the Transit Authority has
hired me to do the recruiting

and, by jingo, I'm not
gonna let 'em down.

Desmond sounding off, sir.

I think the slogan, "A job
that keeps you moving"

emphasizes the activeness
of... It's a stinkeroo, boys.

But... the main
problem is the artwork.

The main problem is the artwork?

Th-th-th-th-the the main
problem is the artwork?

Would you care to
elaborate on that?

Certainly. I really hated
and detested the artwork.

Does that clear it
up for you at all?

You see, the guy is all wrong.
- Hey, hey...

He should be smiling broadly...
- But... But... But...

And there should be
little kids here looking out,

with happy, smiling faces...
But... Little... Little kids.

What are you doing?
Th-that's in my original.

It's original donkey dookie.

Now, look what happened

when I utilized a
little imagination.

Uh, "Mr. Happy Bus says"...
A little... Little drawing.

"The Transit Authority is
looking for a few sober men."

That's quite a startlingly
original concept.

I salute you.

He's laughing.

You tickled his funny bone.

You know, this just has a
charming innocence about it

that I find terribly beguiling.

We'll set Kip to work on this
new approach tout de suite.

No, heh-heh! No, we won't.

Yes, yes, we will.

We think it's stupid.

Uh, we think it's stupid.

We don't. Heh-heh.

Mr. Peters, heh-heh.

We are professionals.

Professionals, a-a-and...
And as professionals,

we know garbage when we see it.

No, we don't.

We know nothing.

I want Mr. Happy Bus.

And if you're not
man enough to deliver,

then I'm gonna have
to draft a man who can.

Well, I guess that's what you're
gonna have to do, Mr. Peters.

Because we won't do it.

We?

We won't work on this campaign.

We won't?

Mr. Happy Bus goes or we go.

Enough with the we's.
Why don't we clam up?

Kip, Kip, please.

Don't put me in this position.

Oh, I see.

I see.

Come on, Henry.

We'll go somewhere
where they still respect

professionalism and integrity.

- We will?
- Kip Wilson.

Ruth, I never
thought I'd say this,

but we quit.

Come on, Henry.

Look, Henry, come on, let's go.

Hey, d-don't worry about
the stuff on the desk.

You can always get that
after hours. Let's walk.

Here we go, Henry.

Here we are walking. Here we go.

Look, Henry, you can
argue with these people

till the cows come home,

they're never
gonna see it our way.

Let's go. Here we go.

We're walking. I'll
meet you in the lobby.

Oh, look at Chucky.

Poor Kip.

He's outside somewhere
roaming around in the cold,

while we're in here
watching slides.

Lucky pig.

Quiet back there.

Oh, here's Chucky and me

in front of Sleeping Beauty's
Castle at Disneyland.

Oh, Chucky looks so
cute in his little ears.

That's Pluto.

Chucky was taking the photo.

Oh!

Oh, I have this
terrible pain in my side.

It must be my appendix.

Oh, oh.

I... I'd better get
up to my room.

Oh, Iz, it takes hours
before those things burst.

Sit.

Now, this next
slide... Oh, my God.

I know him.

What are you talking about?

The guy next to Goofy.

That's, um, Chris Muelhoffer.

It's the first guy I
ever went steady with.

Gosh, I loved him.

Wow, what are
the chances of that?

Oh, no.

He's married.

And those must be his children.

Oh, Lilly, I'm so distraught.

I must go to my room.

I better go comfort her.

You will both sit,

or I can make
Tomorrowland a living hell.

Buffy, where have you been?

Oh, is all this concern
over my well-being?

You're a little late, toots.

Hush, ladies.

Oh, this is where Chucky
spilled his orange drink

and short-circuited Mr. Lincoln.

I waited for you for hours.

You know, this is the first time
I've noticed that yellow streak

running up and
down your back, Hildy.

Cool your buns, Auntie Mame.

Don't come down on me

because you decided
to play the martyr.

The martyr are we?

You wanna talk about
being a martyr? Yeah.

I'll talk about
martyrs right now.

That does it.

If you girls can't
sit still and watch,

then I suggest you
go someplace else.

I wonder who that is.

I don't know.

But whoever it is,
she's not your type.

Your phone's ringing.

No kidding.

Livingston, Gentry and Mishkin.

Excuse me, uh, what
are you doing here?

Hi. I'm Ellen Williams.
I work here now.

Hi, Ellen, and no, you don't.

Not in that seat.

Oh, you must be Henry.

Yes, Ruth said I'd be meeting
a guy about your height

with a little
dimple in his chin.

And that he'd be
incredibly hostile

and that I shouldn't
listen to anything he says.

Hostile? You think I'm hostile?

I take that back. Let's
just get one thing settled

right here and now, shall we?

Uh, listen.

- Don't get comfortable.
- Ahem.

He and I both have
the same address...

if you get my drift.

Uh, listen, maybe I...
I better explain, uh...

Ellen. Ellen. Sorry.

Uh, my best friend Kip,
who normally sits there,

sort of, uh... quit yesterday

and I'm sure Ruth will hire
him back once I talk to her.

Oh, she knew
that you'd say that,

so she gave me this
note to give to you.

"Henry, go back to work
and leave her alone."

What? Henry, go back to work

and leave her alone!

Amy, Amy, do you mind?

Okay, okay.

But if you need
me, I'll sense it.

If Ruth thinks she can
pull a stunt like this on me

and get away with it, she's
got another think coming.

Listen, I wanna thank you
for this, uh, gracious welcome.

I mean, I feel like the first
black student at Central High.

It's just that through
no fault of yours

you've wound up with...
With my best friend's job.

I hope you don't
mind if I root for me.

Oh, root, root.
Heh-heh! Root, root.

Root, uh, root... Root
for the home team. Ha-ha!

Uh, i-if, uh... If,
uh, uh... If they...

If they don't win,
i-it's a shame. Heh!

Uh, uh, I'm, uh... I'm,
uh... I'm... I'm, uh...

Sorry I'm sounding
like Bob Newhart. Heh.

Uh, I'm sorry. Friends?

Oh, yeah, friends.

You know, she said
that you'd calm down too.

Oh, she did? Mm-hm.

Well, what do you
know? Heh. Heh-heh.

Uh, are you free
for lunch later?

Are you buying? Yes, yeah, sure.

Okay. Easy for me to say.

I'll just clear off
some of this stuff,

get you comfortable.
Good morning, Laurie.

Good morning, everybody.

Greg, Elaina, huh?

Just to show you the
kid can compromise,

just for the sake of argument.

Henry... who is this?

Uh, Kip, wha...? W-what
are you doing here?

I came in to talk to Ruth.

Who's this?

Kip, why don't you
and I go downstairs

and grab an omelet or something?

'Cause I need to talk to you.

This is who?

Uh, well, Kip, uh...

I'm the new graphic artist.

Hi, how are you?

Hi.

Corpse is still
warm, fellas and gals,

what was the hurry?

Kip, it's not what you
think. Ruth hired her.

I went to bat for you.
Oh, that I can see.

Are you taking my stuff to
the Advertising Hall of Fame?

Thanks a lot.

Hey, Kip. Aw, come on.
Hey, where you going?

Look, don't worry
about me, all right?

There's plenty
of jobs out there,

plenty of jobs for a guy with
my experience and training.

Mucho plenty.

Mucho plenty.

Hot dogs here. Good
old American hot dogs.

Good old American buns.

None of this pita
bread nonsense.

Come on, what's the
matter? Ain't you Americans?

Don't you know we got souvlaki?

That garbage will k*ll ya.

Hey, hot dogs. Hot dogs.

Hot dog? Hot dog?

Yo, hot dog... Okay,
that's a buck and a half.

Buck and a half?

I remember when all
this cost only 35 cents.

Look at this. We got a
Civil w*r veteran here.

Take your plastic
and get outta here,

Mr. Don't-Leave-Home-
Without-It.

Hey, hot dogs. Yo, hot dogs.

Hey!

Tube steaks! What'll it be?

I'm not sure yet. It
all looks so tempting.

Take your time. Take your
time. I'm here to please you.

Amy... I know.

It's Kip. I see.

He's... He's selling hot dogs.

Well, at least he
has a good corner.

Come on.

Hey, hey, Kip, remember me?

What's goin' on here?
Henry, how're you doin'?

Listen, I'm a little
busy right now. Kraut?

Yes, please. KIP: You got it.

Kip, I don't believe
what you're doing.

Have you lost all
respect for yourself?

Lost all respect for myself?

I'm lousy with respect
for myself. Onions?

Lots and lots. You got it.

Will you look at me, huh?

I'm independent, I'm
holding my head up.

I ain't compromising
with nobody.

Seventy-five.

It's an impudent little dog.

Tart, without being overbearing.

Garçon, five
more of your finest.

Comin' up.

Kip, come on. We
gotta talk, buddy.

I can't talk now. Orson Welles
wants five more hot dogs.

All right, fine. You just
got yourself an apprentice.

Okay. Come on, let's do it.

One. There is an old expression.

Give the client what he wants,
even if it is Mr. Happy Bus.

Two. Amy, there is
another old expression.

Sellout. Sellout.

You want more mustard and
ketchup, you go right ahead.

Do you have Dijon?

I got yellow. Three.

Is that what you think I am?
You think I'm a sellout, huh?

Henry, you're young.

You gotta learn not
to give in so easy.

Now's the time in your
life when you can say:

"Yo, Mr. Happy
Bus, bite this, eh."

Four. That's easy
for you to say.

You're such an idealist.

Sometimes you
gotta swallow a little.

Triple? Yeah.

And sometimes
you gotta fight a little.

Okay... and there you are, sir.

Six of New York's finest.

Let's see, at 75 cents apiece,

that'll be... Here,
take $10. Oh.

You can keep the change.

Hey, thank you.

After all, you're
doing God's work.

Ain't that the truth.

Little bit of heaven
right here on Earth.

Hey, you guys,
this is your share.

God's work, huh?
Stupid. This is stupid work.

You're a trained,
talented artist.

You've just been pigheaded

and guilty of the sin of pride.

The sin of pride.

Henry, that is so
Presbyterian of you.

Hey, I'm an all or nothing
kind of guy. You know that.

If they want Kip Wilson,

they'll have to dance
to Kip Wilson's tune.

Right on, fella.

I beg your pardon?

Oh.

I made the same
choice once myself.

I told the Chairman
of the Board,

"If you want Dan Fluker,

you know where
you can find him."

That was 30 years ago.

Can't wait to see his expression

when he comes
crawling back to me.

You... You... You
really said that to, uh...

the chairman of the board?

Yep.

Any regrets?

Regrets?

Eh, I've had a few.

But I'm proud to
say, I did it my way.

I see what you mean
about impulsiveness.

Look, Kip, I don't care
who's right anymore.

All I care about is that
you and I are a team. Huh?

Look how we were
crankin' out those dogs

over there, huh? Heh-heh!

Yeah, yeah. I'm
Oscar, you're Mayer.

Come on, I'm Hebrew,
you're National. Heh-heh!

Okay, it's a lousy metaphor.

We're gonna go
back to Ruth's office,

and if she doesn't
take you back,

she's losing the
both of us, all right?

All right.

And if things don't work out,
you can still be my bun man.

Hey, I'd be proud.

Hey, can I ask you
a question? Yeah.

Why do you always
go "pffft" at women?

Oh, hee-hee-hee!

Ain't you supposed to? Huh?

Let's get outta here.

Thank you. KIP:
Amy, could you, uh...

Yes, I will watch your
stand, just get your job back.

All right. AMY:
Yo. Get your dogs.

Good to eat. Yummy,
yummy, yummy...

Yo, taxi. KIP: Taxi.

Here we are.

Hey, what are you doing?

Bus! HENRY: Hey, bus!

Entrez.

Ruth, it's time we talked about
some injustice going on here.

Oh, Kip. Kip Wilson.

Well, as I live and breathe.

Say, you're
looking awfully well.

Dressing for success?

Ruth, I-I-I... Let me
do the talking, okay?

Ruth, let's cut through the
cream cheese, shall we?

We are mad.

We are steamed.

And we are ready to quit.

Ruth, we want creative
input around here.

And if we don't get
it, we are leaving.

Oh, really?

Ruth Dunbar here.
I'm not kidding, Ruth.

We're gone, we're history,
we're memory. Jacques?

Oh, is that you? We're
yesterday's papers.

Oh, how long has it been?
Don't test me on this, Ruth.

Come on, au
revoir, baby. Let's go.

Ooh, la la. Oh, you
nasty little Jacques, you.

I think she's cracking.

What do you think?

I think we lost Gigi
for the rest of the week.

I shall meet you in 20 minutes.

Oh, chéri, you know,
I really don't know

if that's going to be
possible because,

you see, I'm right in the middle
of a terribly important meeting.

Watch the door. There'll
be a stampede in a minute.

Boys, I won't be coy about this,

but I'm on my way to an
oh-so-important luncheon

and I'm not about to
miss one single bite.

Now, just hold on a minute,
Ruth. What's the answer?

I'm sorry, darling,
what was the question?

All right, look, Ruth,
the bottom line is

either the account
goes our way or we walk.

Well, I'm very sorry
to hear you say that

because don't you see that
you've left me no options?

W-wait a minute.
What...? What is with you?

"Us"? Come on.

Let's not fly off
the handle here.

Ruth, I have an option.

Kip Wilson, an option.

Swing, baby.

Well, it... I just think that...

That if the two of us

can sit down with
Mr. Peters a-and... A-and...

And... And talk? And... Yeah,

uh, I'm sure that the
three of us can, uh, uh...

Work something out.

Exactly.

If the three of us
don't get too crazy,

I'm sure that we
could, uh, uh...

Yeah, yeah, manipulate him.
- Yeah.

We could cajole him. - Uh-huh.

We could convince him
that ours is the better idea.

Right. Mmmm.

And... And, hey, i-i-if
nothing else works,

then we just might
have to, uh... uh... uh...

Compromise a little.

Absolutely.

Now, do you know what
I'm talking about, Ruth?

Young man, could you use a job?

Welcome back to Livingston,
Gentry and Mishkin.

Now, listen.

I hope that you guys

have lots and lots of things
to fight for in your lives,

but you are certainly
not going to win them all.

So next time could
you choose your fights

a little more carefully?

'Kay.

Now, if you do not mind, I'm off

because I'm about to make
the French Connection.

Sure. Say hi to Jacques.

Oh. What? What?

Who's gonna tell Ellen?

Ah, welcome to the
dark side of victory.

Oh, sh**t, wait a
minute. I forgot my...

Oh, no, I've got it.

Au revoir.

Well, I think there's an
important business lesson

to be learned here today.

What is that?

I'm not sure.

I know you were wrong
for acting too impulsively,

and I was certainly wrong
for compromising so quickly.

And Ellen, who didn't
do anything, ha-ha,

is the only one around
here who's out of a job.

Ellen!

I guess I shouldn't be
thinking dental plan, huh?

Oh. Ellen, Ellen, come on.

Stop worrying.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!

Graphic artist,
graphic artist. Uh...

Until you get your job,
I'll pay your cab fare

to all your interviews. Ah!

Take you out to lunch. Heh-heh.

You need a new
résumé? I'm a writer.

I'll whip one up for
you, no problem.

Do it.

Oops!

Uh, Lilly, we hope
we weren't too rude

at your slide show
the other night.

Thanks for being
so understanding.

You implied that my
Chucky is not photogenic.

Are you kidding?

I mean, heh-heh,

Chucky in mouse ears and
Bermuda shorts in a teacup?

Oh, Lilly.

That's entertainment.

You're not sincere.

Get over there.

Lilly...

we would love to see
your vaudeville scrapbook.

Oh, yeah.

I don't show this
scrapbook to everyone.

Oh, boy.

Ooh, I've been in
every railroad town

from here to Yucca Flats.

Of course, this is
only volume one.

Well, let's see.

Oh. This is me with
the great Rudolpho,

sword swallower extraordinaire.

Oh, the greatest
thrill of my life

was when I got my arm
entirely down his throat.

I lost my bracelet in there.