Here you go, murphy.
You ought to be careful
About bringing
your mail in here.
Dan rostenkowski's
been hanging around
Eyeballing
that sheet of stamps.
Ah, phil.
I'll have a fruit salad to go.
You know, for a big guy,
you eat like a bird.
Hello, murphy.
Mitchell, things
must really be tight
If the network's making
its vice presidents
Pick up their lunch.
It isn't just for me.
We're spending so much on our
overpaid star reporters
That one fruit salad has to feed
the entire executive wing.
That is unfair.
After all, all we do
Is find the stories,
research them
And present them in a way
That brings in
millions of viewers.
You executives,
however
Come up with those great slogans
for the new fall season.
What is it this year--
"Watch us--
we're cheaper than cable"?
You're forgetting we're also
expected to play tennis
And decide who gets
the big offices.
Apparently, yours
isn't big enough.
You see, that is the difference
between us.
Your office is your world,
whereas the world is my office.
I never stop working.
A symposium
at georgetown next week.
A fund-raising dinner dance
at the smithsonian on sunday.
True, it's not a work function,
specifically
But I'll be
making contacts there.
What are you doing on sunday?
Well, I may not...
What are you doing?
You want go?
You're asking me out?
You're here. You're a man.
I'm organizing my life.
Yes or no?
That's the smoothest
pick-up line I've heard
Since bob packwood
stopped in here
On secretaries' day.
Such a gracious invitation.
How could I possibly refuse?
Thanks, mitchell.
You're a prince.
Well, I'm doing it
for the network.
I have to make sure
That our highly paid talent
gets back to work
Instead of hanging in a bar
al day
Looking for a date.
I swear to you
I had no idea
it would be that bad.
Are you kidding?
You knew.
You flat-out suckered me
into going. Admit it.
No, I thought it would be fun.
I mean, a formal dance
With lots of politicians
and a museum
To raise money
for a new fossil wing?
Ha ha ha! Sucker!
Go ahead and laugh
'Cause while you were
in the ladies' room
I signed you up
for the fund-raising committee
On a migratory bird exhibit.
That is low.
You know, mitchell,
I have to say
I had you pegged
as a stuffed-shirt
Boring, uptight kind of guy
And you are...
But when you tried to teach
janet reno the "achey-breaky"
That showed real promise.
That was nothing compared
to how you got our car first
By telling the valet
I was patrick ewing
And had to get out
In time
for the tip-off.
Hey, you work
with what you got.
Mitchell, I want
to ask you something.
Did you get the feeling
We were attracting attention
tonight?
Well, maybe people
just aren't used
To seeing you with someone...
Tall.
That must be it.
Well, thanks a lot
for coming with me
And being my...
(Clears throat)
Person who came with me.
Well, I'm always
here for you.
You just let me know
if you need a date
For the next supreme court
bowling party.
Good night, murphy.
Good night, mitchell.
(Clears throat)
Mitchell, this is
a nice surprise.
What brings our favorite v.p.
Down to the nerve center
off.y.i.?
Business or just come
to chat?
I really don't chat.
I don't have the time.
Course not.
Neither do we.
Not that we wouldn't make time
if you wanted to.
Chat, that is.
But you're too busy.
As are we.yes.
Small schedule change.
You'll be airing
later next week.
We're getting you
out of the way
Of some jane seymour
miniseries
On another network.
I think in this one
She plays a beautiful heroine
with long hair.
Sounds like a good
programming move.
I'd chat about it more,
but no time.
No time, no.
Mitchell, hi.
Can I talk to you
for a moment?
Certainly.
I know you're trying
to organize your life
And it might be helpful
If in order to organize
your life next saturday
You knew where, when,
and with whom
You were spending
the evening.
That would be very helpful.
I have two tickets
to the kennedy center
And it would ease my mind
To know I'll have
a familiar face next to me.
I hate sitting
next to strangers.
I know what you mean.
And then there's
that whole armrest thing.
Other people always think
it's for them.
What do you suppose
they're talking about?
They can't be chatting.
He doesn't have time.
What are you writing?
Work stuff. You?
Thoughts and ideas.
They said
something about seven.
Seven what?
I can't hear
With the two of you talking.
(Tapping)
Shh!
Sorry
for the interruption.
Bye.
All:
uhh...
Hi. What you guys writing?
Work stuff.
Thoughts and ideas.
Well, in case your hearing
isn't what it used to be
Mitchell and I went out
last night.
(Pencil breaking)
We had a very nice time.
We're going out again.
Broccoli has only one l,
miles.
Well, hey.
How about that?
So you and mitchell
have something going.
Well, that's great.
Isn't that great?
Oh, murphy...
Just great.
I am all for this, murph.
I think we can move on.
Miles?
No, jim,
I don't want to move on.
It's pretty obvious
how uncomfortable we all are
But maybe I'm the only one
brave enough to say it.
I think it's wrong
for her to be dating baldwin.
He's your boss, for god's sakes.
Well, technically, miles,
baldwin isn't my boss.
He's yours.
So you shouldn't date him
But I can.
Bad things happen
when people date at the office.
Or have you forgotten
vicki in accounting
Breaking up with earl
in the mail room?
Oh, right, like mitchell
would even know
How to drive a forklift.
Is that what's bothering
all of you?
The fact that mitchell
is a network v.p.?
I'm not bothered.
I think this is great.
I mean, it's just great.
I keep saying "great"
Because I don't want it to seem
I have a problem with this.
Because baldwin is black
and murphy is white
And whenever you picture them
together, you think
"My, there's a very black man
dating a very blond woman."
My problem is that baldwin
is so straight.
You were put on this earth
to give people like that grief
Not to date them.
But you're thinking
it's the race thing.
No matter how much
I say it's not
It will seem like it is.
That's what
you're all thinking.
Actually,
I'm chalking it up to the fact
You're jealous of anybody
who has a second date.
Well, there's always that.
Murph
I just want you
to be happy.
I don't.
Not if she's
dating the boss.
Well, I think
what murphy's doing
Is wonderful.
After all, she hasn't had
much luck dating white men.
Expanding her horizons
is probably a really good idea.
Gee, thanks, corky.
And who knows, if things
don't work out with mitchell
I can always look into
hispanics and asians too.
Why, in china alone,
they have billions.
Oh, for the love
of mike!
I don't care if the man is purple.
Just because people
work together
Doesn't mean they have to share
Every single detail
of their personal lives.
It starts like that
and the next thing
You're standing
at the water cooler
Images dancing in your head
Of that raven-haired
receptionist on the third floor
Wearing lace garters
and frilly underthings.
Jim has a point.
I'm sure we have much more
pressing problems to discuss.
Frank, i...
It's no use.
Now, you're all
in your underwear.
I'm going to my office
and watch c-span.
It was appalling.
The second mitchell and I
walked into the restaurant
Everyone at the senator's table
started whispering.
Then they began
doing that thing
Where you pretend you're
looking at something else
So guess what we did.
We had drinks sent over.
Guess what kind.
I don't know.
Kahlua and cream.
Get it?
That's nice.
I don't think you get it.
Kahlua and cream.
They were so embarrassed
They left
without even ordering dessert.
You and mitchell
have gone out
What, four times
and every time your picture
Ends up on the society page
or people magazine.
That's my point.
I've dated men
who were more famous
And our pictures never appeared
in the paper.
Suddenly, I date one black man
and boom!-- I'm news.
I'd never get this kind
of attention.
I could date the entire cast
of the wiz
And no one
would look twice.
This is not the kind
of attention one seeks out.
So tonight
We're going
to the south african embassy...
I said
I wanted you to be happy.
I didn't say I want
to hear about it.
Corky.
Did I tell you
what mitchell and i...
Yes, murphy.
Kahlua and cream.
I got it.
Sorry. I just can't believe
The reaction mitchell and I
have been getting.
I know.
Some people haven't come
as far as others.
Which reminds me
I want to invite
You and mitchell
for dinner.
Oh, thanks.
Not this weekend,
of course
Because my parents
are in town.
They're still
getting used
To me working
with a jewish person.
But soon.
Jim, did I tell you...
Yes, kahlua and cream.
This was delivered
for you, ma'am.
And if I may
I know
what you're going through.
I dated a black man once.
Society can be very cruel,
ma'am.
Murphy...
Just the woman
I was looking for.
So, how's everything going?
Fine.
Ooh, muffins.
They're from ted danson.
Um...
You know, murphy
Sometimes, I tend
to get immersed
In all the business aspects
off.y.i.
And I forget about the people.
So, occasionally,
I like to take time out.
Check in.
Catch up.
So, what's up? You happy?
Yes, miles.
Good, good.
Because if you ever had
any problems
No matter how tiny
I would hope
you would bring them to me
The executive producer
off.y.i.
Instead
of going over my head
And screaming out
in the heat of passion
"Miles gave my health care story
to frank."
I'm not the type
to talk about someone
Behind their back.
Although,
it has been four months
Since I asked you
for that laser printer.
It got held up at the factory.
Then, you have nothing
to worry about.
No.
(Whispering:)
bobby, bobby!
The factory!
Did I tell you
what mitchell and i...
Mitchell and i!
Mitchell and i!
Let's just forget
this annoying news show
And talk about
what's really important.
What color paisley
Does mitchell prefer
on his bikini briefs?
Or perhaps he favors
Cartoon characters
along the crotch.
Maybe donald duck
or steamboat willie
Is more to his liking.
And then
cary grant says...
Oh, never mind.
I'm sure you've seen
the movie. Excuse me.
I didn't know chinese food came
without the little white boxes.
I enjoy cooking.
Sometimes I spend
all weekend cooking.
I can see why.
All that chopping and chopping.
Making sure every piece
is exactly the same size.
Would it really taste
any different
If one piece of red pepper
was a teeny bit bigger?
Well, I may be somewhat
of a perfectionist
Which isn't easy when you're
stirring with a pizza cutter.
Sorry.
I could have sworn
I had some utensils in there.
Did you look
in the toy chest?
This is nice--
spending the evening in.
If I had known
you could cook
We would have done this sooner.
So I guess whoever didn't cook
has to clean up.
Where did that rule come from?
My family.
How did you do it?
Whoever didn't call in the order
had to throw away
The paper plates.
In my family, the smoke alarm
was used as an oven timer.
Okay, I'll clean.
I'll help.
So, what do you want
to do tonight?
I brought a surprise.
I love surprises.
A video.
He makes the dinner
And rents the movie.
What did you rent?
Persona,ingmar bergman.
How about that.
You don't like it?
I slept through it twice
But, really, it's fine.
Roll 'em.
I'm not going to watch a movie
you don't want to watch.
How could you sleep
through persona?
It was boring
and I hate subtitles.
The actors say
some really long sentence like
"Huska varna nearna svinsky
fernga ishka sloffen."
The subtitle says
one little word like "no."
Who's to say some swedish
translating person
Isn't having a great big
nordic yuk at our expense?
Since you cleaned up
Why don't we just
watch something
That you want to watch.
Well, maybe I do have something.
Whatever.
I'm flexible.
I'm going to take
a chance here
But I think we've been going out
long enough
That I can reveal something
personal about myself.
There's something
I like to watch
That a lot of people
think is... Well, unusual
But many adults really get
pleasure from.
This could take
our relationship
To a whole new level.
Road runner cartoons.
It's the one
Where the coyote chases
the road runner off a cliff.
The coyote falls
but the road runner doesn't.
The coyote holds up a sign
That says "that defies
the law of gravity."
The road runner
holds up a sign
That says "I never studied law."
Nope, I don't think so.
Well, mr. Flexible
sure has changed his tune.
Just because I don't want
to watch some cartoon.
It is not just
a cartoon.
It's an allegory
For persistence
and the triumph of the spirit
And it's funny.
Although it's not
the laugh riot bergman is.
Look, murphy, this is our
first evening in together.
I think we can enjoy it
without staring at a television.
Why don't we
just sit and talk?
Why not?
Conversation's good.
So, what should
we talk about?
Judging from our
past experience
Not foreign trade.
Not health care.
Not space program.
Not the gold standard.
Not andrew lloyd webber.
I came around
to your point of view
On how to hold chopsticks.
Well, you'd almost have to.
That was a great dinner.
I like cooking
and foreign films.
You hate reading subtitles
and doing dishes.
We covered that.
So we did.
So the road runner
just hangs there in mid-air?
No, don't.
Mitchell, am I alone in this
Or do you sense that there's
something missing here?
Like?
People looking at us.
Come on, we hate that.
I'm aware of the sound
of my brain
Trying to come up
with something to say
That won't get us
into an argument.
Out in public
we never had that problem.
You said yourself
it bothered you
When people gave us
those weird looks.
And the whispering
was very annoying.
And the photographers.
They drove us nuts.
I hated
all those things.
I don't know
why I said anything.
A few awkward moments
and I panicked.
Sorry.
So, you want to go out
For ice cream?
Great idea.
Oh, god.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, so, we're
the kind of people
Who like to stir things up.
We get a kick out of the way
people react to us.
Is that so terrible?
No, what we're doing
Is making people face
their own preconceptions.
We're performing
a public service.
We are telling the world,
"this happens, get used to it."
There's nothing
wrong with that... Unless...
Unless this is more
about stirring things up
And less about dating.
It is possible that we were
so wrapped up in the stares
That we overlooked
a few things...
Like the fact
That you are a tad bit
on the compulsive side.
Well, maybe you have a point.
Those raised eyebrows
were such a rush
I might have convinced myself
That your perpetual need
to be right was cute.
This from the man
who ran
Into a music store
for sheet music
To prove that the whole world
smiles with you
When you're smiling,
non while you're smiling?
You insisted it was a misprint.
Don't talk to me
about being right.
Oh, man,
who are we kidding?
Yeah. All things being equal
This probably would have ended
on the third date.
Second.
You're forgetting
The "let's go backstage,
baryshnikov knows me" incident.
Just for the record
It wasn't only
a matter of convenience
When I asked you out
in the first place.
For that same record,
if you hadn't
I would have gotten around
to asking you out.
We're still friends.
You don't have to leave.
I do if I want to watch
persona tonight.
Good-bye.
You know, it's too bad
we're not going to be together
For the image in media awards
next month.
Lots of heads to turn there.
Well, we could still go.
Great, spike lee's
going to be there.
Good night.
Good night, mitchell.
And so goes another...
As so many men have gone
before him
And they all leave with
that same look on their face.
Eldin, what are
you doing here?
Avery's asleep.
I had an inspiration for that
blank spot above the fridge.
Hillary clinton
in a waiting room
With a thermometer
in her mouth.
Eldin, let me ask you
something.
Do you think
I purposely pick men
Who are wrong for me?
Damn the muse
that brought me here tonight.
No, really,
I want to know.
I don't know
That you do it on purpose
But I do know
that they're all wrong.
Although I must admit
I would be hard-pressed
To figure out
who would be right.
Very hard-pressed.
Extremely hard-pressed.
I'm beginning to regret
I brought this up.
No, let's think about this
for a moment.
The right man for the woman
that is you.
Well, he would have
the brains of aristotle
The warmth
and sensitivity
Of that rogers fellow
The ears
Of a deaf man
The patience of...
Maybe you should just get a cat.
Mr. Rogers?
Where did you get mr. Rogers?
Now I'm going
to have nightmares.
Although it would cause
quite a controversy.
Mrs. Rogers would be very upset.
We'd be the talk
of the neighborhood.