Stopped at : .
Hello. I'm murphy brown.
Hi, ms. Brown.
I'm walter,
your new secretary.
I'm william, your new secretary.
Why are there two of you?
You see, the embryo
in my mother's womb...
No, no, why are there
two of you here?
Personnel left a message
For a w. Ferguson
to show up...
That's me,
walter ferguson.
No, william ferguson.
They meant me.
My name came first.
I was born first.
Your head comes out
two minutes before mine
And you get the top bunk,
you get to name the puppy
And you get to pose
For the graduation picture
and I get the duplicate.
I don't care who gets the job.
Go to personnel
and get it straightened out.
I'll do it right now.
I'm going too.
I already pushed it.
I can push it too.
(Twins arguing)
You don't respect me.
No wonder you don't have
an original face.
Mom, always liked me better.
Sorry I'm late.
When you get a call as
important as the one I just got
You don't tell your secretary
to take a message.
Don't tell me
some lucky gal
Finally picked your video
At the "I can't believe I'm
still single" dating service.
If I had a joke like that
a few minutes ago
I could have told it
to the first lady.
Hillary clinton called you?
It was dee dee meyers
But I could hear hillary
in the background
Yelling at bill
to change his tie.
I thought you said
it was important.
What's that
you're chewing, murphy?
Sour grapes?
Just because
You've been banned
from the white house.
During
the clinton administration
As you were
by the bush administration
The reagan administration,
and I can only assume,
The carter
administration?
That doesn't mean
you can't be happy
When hillary clinton invites
corky to the white house
For the women in
journalism luncheon.
She did?
Oh, how fun!
In a boring way.
Stuffy, formal.
Poor me.
I have to go. Darn.
I do one tough piece
on hillary's health care program
And I'm blacklisted.
Several reporters
have done tough stories
But you're the only one
Who pushed her husband
in the mud.
He was running from me.
There was mud.
There was gravity.
That was eight months ago.
It's not like
hillary would remember.
She remembers-- vividly.
Dee dee says the first lady
doesn't like you.
The words "rude,"
"annoying," and "deportation"
Kept popping up
in the conversation.
Okay.
Which makes it all
the more extraordinary
That your brilliant
executive producer
Managed to wrangle
an invitation
For you too.
What?
Two more miracles and I believe
you qualify for sainthood.
It's not like he
spun straw into gold.
He got a highly
qualified journalist
Into a white house luncheon.
How hard could that have been?
I'll tell you how hard.
Guess who's dressing up as baby
new year at the white house
New year's eve party?
So, how about this, murphy?
You and me
at the white house.
Let's take separate cars.
You know, in case
you want to leave early
Or I want to leave early,
or you get arrested.
I was never arrested.
Placed briefly
in a holding cell, maybe.
Forcibly ejected
by marine guards
Once or twice, sure.
That's not going
to happen next week,
is it, murphy?
Cause you know how hard
your executive producer has
worked to get you this invitation
And you know the
importance he places
Upon the reputation
of his reporters
And you know
that he doesn't want
his great uncle manny
Who once published
a stalinist newsletter in the s
To be dragged out of bed
and interrogated
by f.b.i. Agents again.
Miles, you're preaching
to the converted
I'm being given
a second chance.
I have no intention
of messing it up.
You're going
to see a new me.
Hillary will have to ask
"Who is that well-mannered
blonde womaned
Who's getting along so famously
with everyone at her table?"
I'll smile demurely
And ask for a second
helping of pig's knuckles.
Yes!
I'm telling you, miles
I could not have been
a more charming guest.
I was pleasant, attentive.
You should have seen
how naturally I chuckled
When hillary told us
which jokes were hers
On last week's
evening shade.
Just a sec.
Hey, you, yuppie jerk,
get off the car phone and drive.
What were you saying?
No, I didn't break anything.
No, I did not injure anyone.
Oh, come on. Like I could even
have gotten into the w*r room.
I was brilliant.
I even sacrificed
good pair of panty hose
Playing with their
stupid cat, socks.
I think it's safe
to say my bad luck
With the white house
is behind me.
I'll see you back at the office.
♪♪ Take me back ♪♪
♪♪ Consider me please ♪♪
♪♪ If you walk in that door
I can get up off my knees. ♪♪
...when hillary said she thought
history would prove
The clinton tax increase
Was in the country's
best interest
Who do you think leapt to her feet
And started the smattering
of applause?
Oh, yeah. My exile is over.
I've established a beachhead
On the treacherous
clinton shore.
Yep. Beach on the shores.
I showed respect, maturity,
self-discipline.
Maturity,
self-discipline.
I even asked
for her corn bread recipe.
Like I'm really going to make something
that calls for three cups of lard.
Asked for her
corn bread recipe.
Why don't any of you
believe me?
It's not that we don't
want to believe you.
It's just that,
well, you know...
She was on
her best behavior
And managed to monopolize
the hostess the entire time.
That's okay.
I enjoyed listening
to cokie roberts go on
For two hours
about her new waterpik--
How it makes her gums feel alive.
Hey, how did
the luncheon go?
Beachhead,
corn bread, lard.
It went great.
I'd give you the details
But it's been a long day, and
I've got a thank you note to write.
Did hillary seem upset
about the whole socks thing?
What socks thing?
The clintons' cat, socks.
He's missing.
It was just on cnn.
Oh, wow. Hold the presses.
That's right up there
With the amy carter
dead goldfish scandal
Or the daring midnight escape
Of tricia nixon's turtle.
Come on. It's a cat.
He's probably under a dresser
in the lincoln bedroom
Coughing up a hair ball
As we speak.
What?
Murphy...
(Clearing throat)
You didn't by any chance...
What?
Oh, come on.
Just because something bad
happened at the white house
And I happened to be...
You think I had something
to do with it?
It did cross my mind.
Wouldn't be the first time.
I don't believe this.
What do you think I did?
Stuff him in a closet?
Leave a gate open?
Kidnap him so I could blackmail
the president for an interview?
No. Of course not.
But you did come up with
those ideas awfully quickly.
Well, you are
some kind of friends.
My behavior
at that luncheon was impeccable
And I have got witnesses.
I have a very good feeling
about what I accomplished today.
None of your suspicions
or insinuations or missing cats
Can take that
Away from me.
Good night.
(Elevator bell dings)
Frank...
Get in here.
What's up?
Close the door.
Why?
Close it! Close it!
Now, frank
I want you to listen
to me carefully.
I'll show
you but you have to promise me
Murphy brown]@k@life
not to scream.
Can you promise me that?
Sure.
Frank: oh, my god!
You did take
the cat!
Shh!
You took the cat.
I can't believe it.
I didn't take the cat.
You took the cat.
No, I didn't, frank.
I went down to the garage
and got into my car.
The next thing I knew
There was a wet
tongue licking my neck.
You took the cat!
You are not listening to me.
I didn't take the cat.
It was in your car.
It must have climbed
in the window.
It makes sense.
If you were a cat,
would you choose my porsche
Or katie couric's minivan
With the dog hair
all over the seats?
You couldn't have just
stolen a coaster?
You had to take
the president's cat?
Will you stop saying that!
And I just thought
of something.
Who says this is
the president's cat?
Just because
the clintons' cat is missing
And I happened to be
at the white house
And find this cat in my car
And he happens
to have white feet
Doesn't mean this cat is socks.
(Meowing)
He just answered
to his name.
No, he didn't.
Sure he did.
Murphy:
that was just a coincidence.
I'll prove it to you.
Rocks.
Blocks.
Socks.
(Meowing)
God!
I kidnapped
the president's cat!
Murphy, you are here.
Say, I wanted
to run something...
Well...
What have we here?
A kitten?
I must say I never pegged you
as a cat lover, murphy, but i...
Dear lord.
That's the president's cat.
My god, woman,
have you no shame?
What is it
with you people?
I found him in my car.
I didn't take him.
Oh, sure, and john wilkes booth
was only at ford's theater
Because he couldn't
get tickets to phantom.
(Knocking)
Oh, murphy, you're here.
As are frank and jim.
What's going on?
Something secret I should...
(Sneezing)
That I should...
(Sneezing)
God, my allergies
are going crazy.
What have you got in here,
a cat?
Oh, my god! It's socks!
You've got socks!
I finally get you invited
to hillary's luncheon
And this is how you repay me?
You're evil.
Will you calm down, miles.
You're scaring the cat.
So what?
The cuddliest member
of the clinton family
Is wrapped up in the overcoat
of my star reporter.
What's the matter?
Was hillary watching
Her purse too closely?
Hold on a second, miles.
Murphy is a great reporter.
Thank you, frank.
But star reporter?
I don't think so.
It was my understanding
That fyi was alway
a team effort...
We've got
bigger issues here!
I am telling you
it was an accident.
He crawled into my car.
I swear
I didn't know about it.
So, then you
to take him back right now.
I'm going to.
You're not moving.
I don't see you moving.
Why aren't you moving?
Because suddenly
I'm picturing myself
At the door
to the white house.
I'm giving hillary
her little cat
Chuckling over the irony
of me of all people
Winding up with it.
She's failing to see the irony
And she's picking up the phone
The next thing I know,
janet reno's roughing me up
in the rose garden
And daring me to press charges.
Okay, murph, murph
I can understand your paranoia
about this.
But the clintons
are very reasonable people.
I think the truth is usually
the best way to go.
You think she'll believe me
And get a laugh
over the whole thing?
No.
Murphy,
listen to me.
Every minute
you keep the cat
It will make it
That much harder
to explain.
She's had the cat
six hours.
The ship's already sailed
on "hard to explain."
Am I working
alone here?
This is what I get
for trying to kiss up
To the first lady.
When this mangy
cat came in from the rose garden
With a dead bird
in its mouth
Did I shriek in horror
like mary alice williams?
No. I had to pretend
it was cute.
Even when it started batting
the head around under the table.
I hate cats.
It's ironic, isn't it?
The way cats always seem to
take a liking to people
Who don't like them.
He doesn't like me, jim.
He's just trying
to screw me over.
Okay, okay, I've got
to take care of this.
I know just how to do it.
Oh, corky?
Hi, murphy.
I thought you left.
What are you all
doing in here?
Corky, you are not going
to believe what happened.
Oh, my god!
It's socks!
I know.
When I went down
to the garage
And saw him in your car
I was just as surprised as you.
He was in my car?
He must have crawled in
While you were at the white house.
Oh, I feel so bad.
I just saw the clintons
crying on tv
And all that time,
I had no idea
I was the one responsible
for their pain.
Now, corky,
Don't blame yourself too much.
But you did do it.
Ooh, yeah, you did.
The thought
of this poor, little kitty
All alone in my car--
No food, no water
The doors locked,
not a single wind...
Wait a minute.
My doors were locked.
How did you get him out
of my car, murphy?
Well, that is
the darnedest thing.
The key to my porsche
actually fit the lock
Of your jeep cherokee.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You know, if I were you
I would call my dealer pronto
Because they should not...
Stop it!
You kidnapped socks.
Now you're trying
to pin it on me!
Well, corky,
I guess we've discovered
The limits
to your friendship.
Frank, take the cat back
for me.
What?!
I am this close to getting back
Into the white house.
It's been years.
I can't blow it now.
Please, frank.
Okay.
Thank you.
When they ask
where you got him
What will you say?
Uh...
"Uh?" "Uh?!"
Why don't you say
"murphy brown stole your cat"?
You can't take him back for me.
Nobody
who knows me
Can take him back.
Those crafty clintons
will put the pieces together
In no time.
I've got to
figure a way out of this.
Think. Think.
You're insane!
Take the cat back!
You're absolutely right.
I just panicked.
I wasn't thinking clearly.
I just have to gather
my courage
And do
the right thing.
And what pray tell
is that?
I'll drive by the white
and fling him over the fence.
Cats always land
on their feet, right?
Did you really have to dig
your claws into me like that?
It's not like I wasn't going
to stop the car first.
Come on.
Don't hold a grudge.
Just eat something, would you?
Yum, yum, yum.
Anchorman:
...have flooded the white
house with phone calls.
The first family released
a statement earlier
Expressing how moved
they've been
By the outpouring of concern
over their missing pet...
After nine hours, an exhaustive
search of the white house
Has failed to...
...nadie sabe donde esta socks
el gato del presidente clinton.
Oh, god. What's next?
"Nightline:
a nation waits and worries."
You're just a cat.
Clocks.
Knocks?
Socks?
(Meowing)
Hey there, murphy.
Hiya, phil.
Um...
Can I have a glass of milk
to go, please?
Sure, murphy.
One glass of milk,
coming right up.
What's the occasion?
Bring little avery
into the office with you?
Yup, you bet.
That's exactly
what I did.
Aw, that's nice.
You know, if you'd like
I could give you
some raw fish
To go along
with this milk.
Phil, you're confusing my kid
with a trained seal.
You're talking to
the first person to know
That the "j" in j. Edgar hoover
stood for "judy."
Now if
I'm telling you
That the little one
would like some raw fish
I think you should listen.
I think you're right.
I think mabe the little one
would like some raw fish.
Just out of curiosity
How did you know
I had the president's cat?
I didn't
until you just told me.
I had it narrowed down
between you and ross perot.
Boy, you're not too good
At this cloak-and-dagger
stuff,
Are you, kid?
All right, murphy.
Where is you-know-who?
He's at the office.
Corky thought
he looked a little homesick
So she's showing him
pictures of the clintons.
Miles, you were right.
I should have
brought him back
When I first found him.
I had at least half a dozen
times when I could have done it
But each time I convinced myself
I'd waited too long.
You're taking him now?
I can't. I waited too long.
Murphy, would you
do me a favor?
Take this Kn*fe
And plunge it into my chest.
That would be
a lot less painful
And quicker
Than what you're
putting me through now.
Oh, god, I have
done it this time.
I just kept stalling
Hoping for some
divine intervention
To get me through it
But it's not going
to happen, is it?
It ends here, miles.
I'm taking him back.
You mean it?
He's miserable.
I can't get him to eat.
The only thing worse
Than being caught
with the president's cat
Is being caught
With the president's
dead cat.
Don't you even think it.
So I'm going.
It's time to face the music.
I have made my bed,
and I'm going to lie in it.
Yup, it's time
to pay the piper.
Go!
Hi, murphy.
Oh, hi, joan.
Where are you going
in such a hurry?
Uh, nowhere. Why?
What have you heard?
Nothing. I wanted to say
I was so impressed
at the white house.
You were well-mannered
And nobody had to
in handcuffs.
Cute. I can see why america
loves to wake up to you.
Well, see you at the next
white house function.
Actually, that's where
I'm headed right now.
Hillary and I hit it off
so well
She asked me back
for an interview.
She did?
I guess I'm really lucky.
I've always had such
good relationships
With presidents
and first ladies.
Maybe it's because
I don't push them in mud.
I didn't push him.
I know. Mud, gravity...
Hillary almost cancelled
this interview
When she heard
about socks disappearing.
Isn't that a sad story?
Yeah, it's a real tragedy.
Well, have a good time
at the white house.
That is where you're going, right?
Good old
pennsylvania avenue?
Just right
through those gates
And past the guards
and onto the grounds?
Well, I thought a helicopter
would be a little showy.
Um...
So, tell me, joan,
what kind of rental car
Is the old alphabet network
springing for these days?
Chrysler lebaron.
I think I saw it.
It's the black one
across the street, right?
No, it's the silver one
that's right outside.
Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.
Would you excuse me?
I just remembered I owe
ruth bader ginsberg a call.
Miles, hi.
Joan, hi. How have you been?
Terrific.
You would have been so proud
of murphy at the luncheon
Oh, yeah, real proud.
Ready to burst.
Got to go. Bye.
Corky, listen to me.
Grab the cat and the
lockpick in my top drawer
And meet me outside phil's
by a silver lebaron...
And corky, hurry.
Socks is going home.