04x09 - Mind Games

[bunniefuu]

The Government of the
United States of America...

has issued a pardon
for Lieutenant Templeton Peck.

(Hannibal) Congratulations, Lieutenant.
You're a free man.

Yeah, we really
gonna miss you, Face.

Why can't I be
the new scrounger?

Don't try and be me, Murdock. I mean,
it'll just get you in trouble.

[yelling]

I think we've lost Face.

I have waited
for this moment for 15 years.

Oh, boy.

(male narrator) In 1972,
a cr*ck commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a m*llitary court...

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles
underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire
the A-Team.

[g*n f*ring]

(male announcer)
Please stand by.

We have an important announcement
regarding the A-Team.

We switch you now to the
briefing room at the Pentagon...

where Colonel Donald Davis...

is making
an official announcement.

The Government of the
United States of America...

has issued a pardon for
Lieutenant Templeton Peck...

[people chattering]

Who was formerly sought in
connection with w*r crimes...

against the Government
of Vietnam.

Through testimony delivered
by Colonel Harvey Miller...

an aide in the General Headquarters
of the IOG Battalion...

it has been learned
that Lieutenant Peck...

was not involved...

with the crimes committed
by The A-Team.

(male announcer on radio)
The surprise announcement...

was made at the Pentagon
briefing room...

at 2:00 Eastern Standard Time.

Colonel Harvey Miller
stated in sworn testimony...

before the Adjutant General
in Los Angeles...

that he had witnessed the events
surrounding the capture of the A-Team...

and that Lieutenant Peck had simply been
a passenger on a transport plane...

that led the A-Team
on their mission.

Colonel Miller
will make a statement...

on Meet the Press later today.

[exclaiming]

What can I say, guys?

[Face exclaiming]

(Sever)
Why now, Colonel?

Why wait until now
to release the information?

There were circumstances
surrounding that mission...

that were
highly confidential...

and have just recently
been de-classified.

(Face)
I like this guy.

Don't remember him,
but I like him.

You don't remember Harvey Miller,
that skinny little loot from GHQ...

who used to sell
the black market video tapes?

No, Murdoch. That was
a little red-headed guy.

Does it bother anybody that this
bald-headed bird Colonel...

is flat lying?

Face was assigned to us.

He was second in command
and Supply Officer.

You know, I think that's subject
to interpretation, you know?

I mean, okay, sure, I was a
passenger on that plane.

But you was assigned
to us, Face.

Well, technically maybe.

Face, you scammed
the rocket launchers.

The important thing here is...

that Colonel Miller thinks
I was there by mistake.

The important thing
is, guys...

that I am getting pardoned.

Or set up.

Come on, this is my chance
to go out into the world...

and use my heaven-sent
gift of gab...

to accumulate all these...

shallow, purposeless toys
that mankind lusts for.

All right. I'll call
my lawyer, Jerry Eckworth.

He's one of the great legal
snakes in entertainment law.

I mean...

I'll have him check into this
pardon and make sure it's legit.

No, I'm sure it's legit.
I'm due for a break.

Overdue, actually.

Mr. Eckworth, please.
Hannibal Smith.

Come on, guys. Cheer up.

I mean, it's not like
I'm leaving you.

Okay, sure...

I won't have the fun of
galloping through mud holes...

and getting sh*t at...

but I'll be with you
in spirit.

Yeah, we really
gonna miss you, Face.

Face, who's gonna
run our scamolas?

Who's gonna lie to the girl
to get us the free airplane?

[Face laughing] Not that we
ever used them, big guy...

but they were always there
in case we needed them.

Face, if you've got a way out of this
mess we're all in, I'm all for it.

But, I don't want
anyone on this team...

getting suckered out into
the open and then captured.

You know, Hannibal,
if Faceman does leave--

I'm not leaving, Murdock.

I'm just gonna be our agent
on the surface, that's all.

As I was saying,
if Faceman does leave...

why can't I be
the new scrounger?

You know, new hair, swank new threads.
I could drive the Vette--

Excuse me, Murdock,
the Vette goes with me.

Oh, Hannibal.

Hello, Jerry.
This is Hannibal.

Yeah, we just heard.

Would you check
this deal out for us?

How can they pardon that lying,
stealing, piece of spit?

He sh**t at my men...

robs our ordnance...

and now he's gonna be
laughing in our faces!

(Case) What're you gonna
do, General Fulbright?

Decker tried for two years
and couldn't catch them.

Decker was soft.

Decker was never
fully committed...

to the capture of these men!

That's why Decker is now on his
rusty-dusty in Bangor in Maine.

There's a big difference
between me and him, Sergeant.

And you and the other men
in this outfit...

are gonna find it out
very quickly.

Fix the emblem on your collar.
And then you listen up.

When Peck hits the streets...

I'm gonna be on him
like stink on a boot.

Where he goes, I go.

What he does, I do.

And if the A-Team tries
to make contact with him...

we're gonna take them all.

Fulbright's law, Sergeant...

never wait.

att*ck.

♪♪[Face scatting]

(Face)
Well, I'm ready.

Faceman emerges to face...

an unsuspecting world.

Face, we all know there's
something wrong here. No.

There's a reason all this is
happening that we don't know.

We gotta be careful.
Now take it slow.

No, I don't want you guys
following me. Okay?

I can take care of myself.

Besides, that's just
what Decker would expect.

It'd be dangerous.

Faceman...

you have any last minute
words of advice for me...

before I fill your able
but slimy shoes?

Slimy shoes?

For I will steal. I will lie.

I will seduce my way
down the path...

that you have shown me.

He couldn't scam
yesterday's garbage.

Oh, yeah?
Well, you just watch.

With my new clothes...

and my HEW manners...

and especially...

my new hair!

I will thrill
and amaze us all.

I don't like
the sound of that.

[sighing]

Gee, I feel like I'm
running out on you guys. Yeah?

But you have to understand.
This is a pardon.

It's my chance
to start a new life.

Face...

any of us
would grab the chance.

B.A...

you take care
of these bums, huh?

[groaning]

I'll do it, man.

And you be careful.

All right, I will.

Well...

I'll see you, guy.

[mimicking Face]
Well...

I'll see you, guy.

Don't try and be me, Murdock. I mean,
it'll just get you in trouble.

Faceman, we all
got to have our idols.

So, now it's just time for
yours truly to step up...

and be initiated.

How about it?

Oh, it's nice, but I'd still
prefer a tall blonde.

(Hannibal) Come on, Face.
I'll drop you off.

Oh, I wouldn't
do that, Hannibal.

See, I'm supposed to
pick my pardon up...

at the government
building. So...

And Decker'll probably
be there and...

[sighing]
Well, I called a cab.

So...

stay in touch.

[sighing]

He's walking
into something. I know it.

Have you contacted
our people on the street?

They have
been alerted.

But it is our feeling
that this man...

will be under constant
government surveillance.

At first, then,
he will be hard to locate.

He will be cautious,
unsure of his freedom--

You will find him.

No amount of money
is too much.

He robbed me of my only real
valuable possession in life.

You will find him and bring him to me.
Do you understand?

Lieutenant Peck.

Charlene Cross,
LA Dispatch.

Were you surprised by Colonel
Miller's announcement?

[reporters chattering]
Well, Charlie...

Well...

it's not Lieutenant anymore.

You know, it's just plain,
old Templeton Peck.

You know, private citizen.

Hi, there.

Are you with the peacock?

Toni Somerset,
NBC News.

How do you feel
about the allegations...

that you ran a large illegal club
for officers and enlisted men...

called the DMZ Tennis
and Racquetball Club?

I just felt
that the fighting man...

needed some recreation.

So, I...

I poured
a few tennis courts...

and put in some racquetball...

had the Seabees
dig a swimming pool.

Yes, and, well, I...

It wasn't the Bel Air
Sports Connection...

but it got us through
some very tough times.

Well, look, I'd like to stand
here and answer your questions...

but, well, I think there's
an Adjutant General inside...

with a piece of paper that I've
been looking for, for 12 years.

[all laughing]

Well, thank you all.

Look, I'll have a formal
press conference...

later at the hotel
and we'll do this right.

You know, champagne, finger sandwiches.
The whole ball of wax.

All right? Ciao, thank you.

You having nice day, Peck.

Who are you?
Fulbright...

General Harlan Fulbright.

"Bull" Fulbright. The...

The terror of Toledo.

Well, well, well...

and what are you doing
here, General?

I'm here to squash you and all
the slime you run around with.

You see, I know
who you really are.

A w*r hero...

unjustly charged
with crimes he didn't commit.

Not even close.

You're garbage that got
wrapped up in a nice package.

Get out of my way, General.

Or I will have a writ of
harassment on your desk...

before the sun goes down.

Well, well.

E.G. Fowler, with Limelight
Management Incorporated.

I'd like to represent you...
(Carlton) Excuse me.

...if you aren't already spoken for.
Cary Carlton, Atlanta Affiliate.

Could we do a little standup piece
right here? Come on, Cary. No.

We can't favor one affiliate.
Just something short.

(Fowler) Don't worry, you'll get
your chance. Call my office.

Oh, sorry, guys,
you heard the lady...

and I take
my orders like a man.

[reporters chattering]

Wow, you're pretty good.

Look, PR people are gonna be
coming at you in as*ault waves.

Now, here is my deal.

$2,500 a week.
Expenses are split.

I know you're probably
short of cash now.

So I'll do
the first week on account.

By then, if I've
done my job...

you'll have book advances
and TV appearance money...

and maybe even
the film rights sold.

What did you say
your name was, again?

E.G. Fowler.

Well, E.G., throw in
a dinner for a hungry boy...

and you got yourself a deal.

(aide)
Lieutenant Peck...

this way, please.
The Governor is waiting.

[muttering]

(Hannibal)
Listen to this.

"On his career in Vietnam...

"Lieutenant Peck stated...

"that his
entrepreneurial interests...

"tended to overshadow
his m*llitary accomplishments.

"He and the ordinary members
of his team--"

That's us, his team.
I love it.

"...took several
enemy positions...

"deemed impossible
to capture...

"by high-ranking brass.

"His sure-footed leadership
under fire, Peck stated...

"helped to bring
the team back alive."

Hey, Hannibal, what was you doing
when all this was happening?

I guess I was having cocktails
at Face's tennis club.

[Hannibal exclaiming]

Listen...

"Peck is currently negotiating
with several publishers...

"and motion picture studios...

"for the rights
to his new book...

”Pecking Away at the System.”

Catchy title.

Gee, if they make a movie of it, I
wonder who they'd get to play me.

You know, Hannibal,
the way things are going...

you might not even be
mentioned in the movie.

[car horn honking]

Is that Murdock?

[sighing]
Gosh, Hannibal, I...

I was with this bilingual...

primo foxette.

We were making ten
with a b*llet...

and I had to drop
everything!

Pile into the Vette
and race across town.

I mean, couldn't it wait?

Oh, brother.

Brothers are your bag,
not me.

I'm into sisters and their
mothers, if they're under 40.

Why don't you cut it out,
fool. I've had enough of this.

My name is not fool.
lam the Hunk Man.

You got it, boys and girls?

The Hunker.

Look at that Vette over there.
Why, it fits me like...

[stuttering]

...a pair of argyle socks.

I mean, I love it.

This is what life
is supposed to be about.

It's coming apart, Hannibal.

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

[Murdock sighing]

[mumbling]

[sighing]
I don't know, E.G. It's...

It's like a whole new
world opening up to me.

Well, if we do this right, it
should only be the beginning.

You do seem to have a natural
charm with the press.

But, Face, I really must--

Let's drop that moniker.

Now Templeton is the name.

Actually...

your name originally was...

Alvin Brenner.

Then you had it legally
changed to Al Brennan...

then to Al Peck.

Then to Holmes Morrison,
then to Morrison Holmes...

and then to Templeton Peck.

Where did you get this?

From the writer I hired.

He did extensive
background research.

He's waiting to hear from you.

He's got the first
three chapters ready...

and they are going
to be delivered tonight.

We promised the publisher we'd
have the book done in two weeks...

to cash in
on this peak publicity.

Look...

let's slough all this stuff
about the aliases.

What's in a name?

Funny question
coming from a guy...

who's had so many.

What do you want to do about this
children's workshop booking?

Chuck-a-Luck the Chicken wants
you as a guest on his show.

Barnyard Ballyhoo.

Let's book it.

I like the big chicken.
He's got panache.

Besides, it'll be good for my
two to eleven demographics.

You know, for a talker,
you're remarkably sexy.

I generally find
talkers very boring.

Well, I also have a quiet,
thoughtful side.

I love poetry.

I'm a very good dancer
and I can quote...

romantic passages
from Shakespeare, Bacon...

Faulkner...

and Lord Byron.

(Murdock) Bet you're asking
yourself right now...

who is this
great looking guy?

And how can I talk him
into taking me out?

[stuttering] Well, that's right.
I'm the guy of your dreams.

I mean, I bet
you noticed me...

getting out of that fancy new
Vette over there. Right?

I mean, I love fish...

especially the whales.

I belong to Greenpeace...

the Cousteau Society,
Save the Whales.

I mean, the ocean.

That's where it's happening.

So, how about an egg salad
sandwich, two jellyrolls...

and a Twinkie six-pack to go?

Oh, you have to go.

I can dig it.

[stammering]
Well, I...

Yeah, I'll catch you
on the flip side.

Don't know what I did wrong.

Where's our breakfast, Hunk?

We were hitting it off...

but she got
an emergency call.

You came on to her, and she
took off with our breakfast.

That is a very narrow...

[car tires screeching]
and selfish interpretation.

(Hannibal) Okay, let's go guys.
There's Face.

I'll catch you on the...

No, I already said that.

This is getting
to be tiresome.

Hey, Hannibal, you think somebody'll
try to do something to Faceman?

We've got nothing else to do.

I wanna be sure
he's gonna be okay.

Press breakfast.

Look...

I hope we're not fooling
around with local press here.

No, no. I'd rather stick
with the networks.

You know, A.P., UPI...

The Unified News Bureau.

You don't want to let this fame and
celebrity go to your head, Templeton.

Me? Come on, E.G...

I'm just people.

I'm just plain folks.

You know, maybe we should
duck Chuck-A-Luck.

I don't know.
There's something about...

sitting around,
talking with a chicken.

You know, it may not be the class
image that we're going for.

Ranger One
to Ranger Five.

They just passed us,
heading east.

Black van with the red
stripe is right on them.

No sign
of the red Vette.

Okay, pick off the black van.

We doth want them.
Got it.

Converge and apprehend.

(Hannibal)
Don't let them get away, B.A.

City drivers.

It's frightening.

I could get k*lled just as
I become a hot property.

I gotta be careful.

Come outwith your hands up...

or we'll open fire!

[g*ns cocking]

When your timing goes,
seems like nothing goes right.

(B.A.) Yeah, I think
they got us, Hannibal.

Wanna go see
what they got for lunch.

Oh, we're in real trouble now,
boys and girls.

Take off the blindfolds.

Piece of advice.

Don't mess around in something
that isn't your business.

Now, that's great advice.
I'll take it.

Is there anything else, or did you just
kidnap us to be sure we'd listen up?

Sit on them.

I don't want these two
in the play.

[g*n f*ring]

Let's use our little thumbs
and our forefingers...

and get those weapons
out now!

All right,
you with the beard...

off with the cuffs.

Murdock, for the first time,
I'm glad to see you.

That's Hunk
or Hunk Man to you.

Hannibal, there are still
two guys outside.

I suggest, we depart quickly.

[g*ns f*ring]

(Hannibal)
John Jones.

Height, 5'11", 175 pounds.

Weight medium, complexion
medium, everything medium.

Well, it's
Mr. National Average.

You know, but I hate to state
the obvious, Hannibal...

but you don't get
haircuts like that...

at Chez David.

Right, Murdock.

They're government spooks,
it's a fake John Jones.

Nobody is called John Jones.

You know, that house we
were at was for sale.

Limelight Homes.

We'll give them a ring. See if
they gave the key to anybody.

Doesn't Face's PR lady
work for a firm called...

Limelight Management?

Well, it could be
a coincidence.

Just government economy. They
may only have one stencil.

Let's give
Limelight Management a ring...

and see what we come up with.

Yes, information.

That's right.

Yeah, I got it.

Say, information...

while I got you
on the line here...

I mean, you sound like
a groovy chickla...

and I'm a six-foot,
square-jawed bundle of fun.

I got a Vette, it's hot.
I like to talk about...

whales. I like sushi...

and sharing.

Perhaps, I could
squeeze you...

into my date-filled
calendar book.

Shall we say, Friday? Eight--

[dial tone droning]

[sighing]

Must have got cut off.

She hung up on you. You
insulting these women.

Well...

as we say in the better health
clubs of the West side...

"Ask not, get not."

Murdock, better give me the
number, I'll make the call.

Hannibal, please.

I can do this.
I really can.

You'd let Faceman do it,
why not Hunk Man?

Because you
will mess it up.

But I can do voices
just like Faceman.

I can do Sylvester the Cat.

[mimicking Sylvester]
Listen here, sweetheart...

this pussycat knows
where his fur is parted.

I can do Bullwinkle.

[mimicking Bullwinkle] Oh, look,
I'm knee-deep in pretzels, poopie.

I can do Henry Kissinger.

[mimicking Henry Kissinger]
Hello, this is Henry Kissinger.

That might work. Try it.

(Vaughn)
Yeah?

Sir, it's Henry Kissinger.

He wants to talk
to Templeton Peck.

Yes, who is this please?

[mimicking Henry Kissinger] Well, I was just
getting ready to ask you the same question.

However,
this is Henry Kissinger.

Mr. Kissinger.
Hi, this is David Vaughn.

I don't know
if you remember me...

but we met at the Central Intelligence
Agency b*mb briefings in '67.

Yes. David.

What a great pleasure it is
to be speaking to you...

and I wonder if you could
help me with a problem.

I have desperately been trying
to locate Templeton Peck.

I would like to invite him...

to a Friars Club
roast in his honor.

Well...

he's busy all afternoon
doing political interviews.

Can't he call you?

[mumbling]

Well, I am at the VIP lounge
at the...

[mimicking sound of aircraft]

What was that? I'm sorry.

Excuse me, I didn't get that.

Well, you could try him
at the Vine Street Studio.

He's has an interview there
this afternoon.

Oh, thank you
very much, David...

for all of your courtesy.

So remember,
Nancy Ramsey says hizy-wizy.

Well, hi back to her.

Good. Good. Good.

It's CIA.

It figures.
Where's Face?

He's at the Vine
Street Studio.

Some kind of big
political interview.

(Face) That's right,
Chuck-A-Luck, it was tough.

But, you know,
when things are tough...

sometimes it makes you
a better man.

[mimicking a chicken] Boy, that's
really interesting, Faceman.

My barnyard friends...

were telling me
just the other day...

that when they were accused
of something they didn't do...

it was really tough
because they got very angry.

Thanks, Faceman.

We'll be right back.

[clucking]

[whispering]
Face. Face.

Oh, hi. We're right in the
middle of an interview.

That's it for me.

Thank you, very much.

[Chuck-a-Luck in man's voice] I'm
out of here for lunch, cowboy.

Great guy, huh?

Or bird, or whatever.

[mimicking Face]

Yeah, he asked some very
interesting questions.

You know, some of these
interviewers, they're so boring.

All they wanna know about
is all your heroic exploits.

Face...

can you let the air out of
your head for a minute...

and listen to us?
Yeah.

We were just picked up
by a squad of guys...

in gray civvies who took us...

to a garage in the valley.

(Hannibal) Now, they
didn't want to bust us.

They just wanted
to keep us out of the way.

Something's going down and
you are in the center of it.

I appreciate the concern.

You know, the CIA, they probably
wanna keep an eye on me.

Why? Don't make
no sense to me.

Yeah, well, none of this
makes much sense, B.A...

but sure is fun.

Gee, guys, things are going
so great, I mean...

if you only knew
what it was like.

I mean,
people want my autograph.

Everywhere I go people,
they wanna know...

what I think about stuff.

Like that big chicken there.

Right. Right, like him.

Yeah. And, oh...

the women.

The women!

See...

E.G., she's winding up
some stuff.

I'd be careful
about her, Face.

Of E.G.?

Are you kidding?
I mean, she set this all up.

We're gonna
have to charter a jet.

Just to get
to all the gigs.

"L knew my buddies
wouldn't make it without me.

"The Delta was
clogged with VC...

"and, armed only with my Kn*fe
and my wits, I went back--"

Yeah, that's right.
Well, it's--

(Hannibal)
When was that, Face?

Oh, well, this... That's just
the first draft, you see.

Yeah, I haven't had a chance
to rewrite it yet.

I mean, things
are happening so fast.

And this writer
he exaggerates everything.

Of course, if we're going
to get Bob to play me.

You know, we're gonna
have to...

center it on the Faceman
character slightly.

Bob who?

Redford.

And who plays me, Face?

You? Oh, well...

your character's been scaled
down slightly, Hannibal.

You're not in it, Hannibal.

(Face)
Of course, he's in it, B.A.

He's just not what we call
a focal character. See?

Now, look, guys...

my schedule is really pressing.
So, if you'll just--

Face.

You've gotta get off this ego trip,
Lieutenant. You're in danger.

Right, I'm in danger
of missing my 3:00.

Oh, come on, guys,
what could happen to me?

I mean, I have people around
me every second of the day.

And believe me, Hannibal,
I am very good at security.

All my antennae are out.

Now, look, guys,
I gotta go. Really, gotta go.

Thanks for
stopping by. Really.

Looking great, Murdock.

Oh, and I'll send you all
autographed copies of the book.

You know, and don't worry about that
little piece of nonsense that B.A. read.

I'll straighten that dippy writer out.
Really. Trust me.

Ciao.
Ciao.

[sighing]
Boy, is he on an ego trip.

But we're all gonna get autographed
copies of his book, guys.

[g*ns f*ring]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[g*n f*ring]

[g*ns f*ring]

[g*ns f*ring]

No numbers.

We should have stayed closer to
him whether he wanted us or not.

I'd like to see your Chief
Executive Officer, please.

I'm interested in looking
at all the parcels of land...

you represent on the west side
of town of $5 million and up.

You'd need to speak to Mr. Gilbert.
Who should I say is calling?

Hugh Howland.

Hugh Howland Industries.

Thank you.

(Hannibal)
Well...

you must be Mr. Gilbert.

That's right. How can I help you, Mr.
Howland?

Well, I buy properties.
Large parcels of property.

Up to 100 acres.

We're the hotel people,
you know.

Well, this is a nice, little
shop you got here, Mr. Gilbert.

You got a first name?

Sir, I'm afraid we don't
handle large tracts.

Oh. What do you handle?

Well, we work
on a build-to-suit basis.

Working for--
Build-to-suit?

Working for clients
who have special needs...

generally
small manufacturing.

Excuse me, sir. Wait a minute.
Where you going?

Is there something wrong?

Well, I was just trying to tell
you that I think you should go...

to a traditional
real estate company.

We just don't handle
that kind of property.

Well, what do you handle?
Maybe I could buy some.

You got any good residential? Always
got my eye out for prime residential.

Look, Mr. Howland, we're not doing
residential real estate, either.

It's factories
built-to-suit.

Like I said,
it's all very specialized.

Well, goodbye, son.

Good luck and cheer up.

This is the place.

David Vaughn is in there along
with a couple of others we know.

It is not
a real estate office.

It is a front.

What do you want
from the old Hunker?

Nothing right now.

We're gonna wait till Mr. Vaughn goes
somewhere he won't be disturbed...

and then we're gonna
pay him a visit.

Yeah.

Are we all set up out at
this farm in Valencia?

Yeah. They've still got Peck out
there but Chow hasn't shown up.

Keep a chopper ready.

If Chow dies in the sh**t,
it's not gonna break my heart.

And what about Peck?

He's nothing
but the cheese in the trap.

If the rat eats the cheese,
what do we care...

so long as the trap
gets sprung.

Well, it's done.
They picked up your boy.

What's this, E.G.?
Is this contempt or anger?

Oh, don't tell me we're
getting soft about targets.

Oh, shut up, David.

Maybe you should
go back to Operations...

if you can't take it
out here in the field.

(E.G.) Sometimes I just
don't like what we do.

If this guy is General Chow...

we'll be bagging one of the
biggest w*r criminals...

in the last decade.

Well, what about Temp?

Oh, it's Temp now, is it? I thought he
was just an expendable, wanted felon.

He got caught up
in this mess.

I spent two days making him
feel like Mick Jagger.

He's overloaded on helium.

I'd hate to see you
under similar circumstances.

Okay, that's
your debriefing.

Get lost.
You're excused. Go.

B.A.

(Vaughn)
Hey. Hey!

What are you--
Hey!

(Vaughn)
Hey! What are you doing?

Hey, let me go!

[screaming]

What are you doing?

Hey! Let me go!

I'll tell you anything.

Anything.
I'll tell you anything.

[gasping]

Are you guys crazy?
I could have been k*lled!

Well, let's put this thing
back on the ground.

(Hannibal)
Right now.

You h*jacked me.
You sh*t at me.

You were involved with
kidnapping one of my team.

I'm not gonna play around
with you, pal.

You come clean right now...

or you spend the rest of the afternoon
counting your broken teeth.

It's a secret unit known as The Shop.
That's all I can tell you.

Except you don't wanna mess with us.
Oh yes, I do.

I'm a nutburger.
I have no fear of death.

I may be a homicidal maniac.

If I were you, pal,
I'd come clean.

I could charm it out of him.

Or I could b*at it out of him.

Equally unappetizing notions,
Mr. Vaughn, I assure you.

Go ahead, B.A.
No.

[stuttering]
Just hold it.

During the w*r, there was a
Vietcong general named Chow.

We think
he's in this country now...

operating as the head
of an Asian trading company.

So bust him.
We can't prove it.

We don't have fingerprints, a detailed
record, just some old photographs.

We're trying to lure him
into the open.

Get him to make
a criminal movement.

What's this got
to do with Face?

We have good intelligence...

that General Chow hated violently
a man named Templeton Peck.

Some Cong general
hated Peck? Why?

Chow!

That is the name of the girl
who ran the leather shop...

at Face's tennis club.

She ran away from home. Peck shielded
her and then he dishonored her.

Oh, hold it. I was there.
He never touched her.

She was
just a sweet little kid.

Does it really matter
what the facts are?

The whole thing is...

we had to get Peck above ground so
we could see what would happen.

They picked him up
this afternoon.

Where is he? He's out
at a ranch in Valencia.

How do you know?
We had a mini transmitter...

in the brads of the manuscript we gave
Lieutenant Peck and then we followed him.

Pecking Away At The System.

I had such high hopes
for that book.

(Hannibal) What's that?
(Vaughn) That's CIA issue.

It's a jet pack.

I'm supposed to deliver it
to my agents in the field.

Colonel, I think we should
take this with us.

Good idea, Captain.

What about you, Miss Fowler?

I want to help. I know it's hard to
believe but I really like your friend.

I just hope he's safe.

If you guys could just tell me
what you want, okay?

Oh, come on, deals can
be struck on anything.

Really.

Yeah, you see, the whole art
of negotiation...

is the realization that no
position is unattainable.

You know any good jokes?

You wanna sing some songs?

Well, maybe I'll just hold it
down for a little while.

Okay...

time for
a little m*llitary strategy.

Now, who said...

"Only use the air to create areas
of opportunity on the ground"?

Patton, General George.

That was football coach
Woody Hayes, fool.

Right, B.A.

Now, Murdock...

take your little gas machine
and this bag of grenades...

and when that chopper
comes in...

give them something else
to think about.

I'll drop those pineapples...

like a crazed pigeon hovering
over a mounted statue.

Okay. Let's go.

Everything's cool down there.
House is quiet.

(Don)
Okay, let's go.

(Chow)
So we finally meet.

I have waited for this moment
for 15 years.

I have savored the thought
of meeting you.

I hate to appear rude, but
who the hell are you, sport?

My daughter was Lin Chow.

Wait a minute.

Her father was General Chow...

the Butcher of Mekong.

I go by the name
of Byron Fung now.

You have dishonored
my daughter.

And I have a responsibility
of honor...

to punish you
for your transgression.

I never did anything to your daughter.
She was a friend of mine.

I would never take
advantage of that.

Besides, even if I did,
which I didn't...

you know, but even if I did...

I'm sure that even you must
know that love is a gift...

it's freely given
and freely accepted...

and a true gift can't be
forced on anyone.

Further, I think
I should point out...

that this sort of old world
behavior of yours...

you know, it's very unhip...

Oh, boy.

[whooping]

[grenade exploding]

[g*ns f*ring]

[g*ns f*ring]

[grunts]

(Face) Murdock, what
about the grenade?

(Murdock) I didn't pull
the pin, sweet cheeks.

Murdock, listen, I never
touched his daughter. Really.

Put it in the book,
Templeton.

Let's go, Murdock.

[grunting]

(man on TV) In testimony from E.G.
Fowler...

formerly an operations officer attached
to a renegade unit known as The Shop...

David Vaughn has been charged with
crimes against the government...

and attempted m*rder.

Sources in the CIA
state that David Vaughn...

was not operating
with Agency authority...

and had taken on the operation
without sanction.

Which leads us to the last
chapter of this story...

what of Templeton Peck?

It appears that his pardon
was not signed...

by the correct agency
in Washington...

and that he was being used
as a tool by Vaughn...

to capture General Chow...

known in Vietnam as The Red
Death or The Red Butcher.

Templeton Peck has disappeared
into the underground...

where he has been
forced to live for so long.

Well, there goes
Face's pardon.

I never missed Face so much
up until now.

Having to put up
with that fool Murdock...

going around
insulting women...

saying he's sexy. He's
driving me crazy, Hannibal.

Oh, Hannibal,
did you see the news?

My pardon went poof!

I'm so sorry, Face. I don't
know how to make it up to you.

But I'd like to try.

Sweetness, I've got a
program of my own going on.

You don't want to forget about
the man of your dreams, do you?

(Hannibal) Uh-oh. That's all
right, Hannibal, I can handle it.

You see, there's more to life
than feeling guilty.

As Old Blue Eyes
used to sing...

♪ Fly me to the moon ♪♪
Murdock.

Murdock, please. Back off. I'm in
the midst of closing a deal here.

Back off? Face...

I've developed a whole line
of primo rap unto myself.

I can talk intelligently
about the whales.

I can do the "I'm okay,
you're okay" thing.

I can share my feelings.

I've got the whole line
of patter down.

And with my basket
of social goodies full...

I would like
to ask E.G. out...

for an evening of sushi...

and slow dancing.

Well, you see, that was about
to be my next question.

How about some sushi
and the movies?

The theater.
Opera?

The ballet.

I love the ballet.

Look, Murdock,
I want you to stop being me.

No way, José.

Not on your monogrammed tie.

How would you like it
if I took your personality?

How would you like it if I became you?
lf I become "Howling Mad" Murdock?

You couldn't.

I couldn't?
I'm too complex.

Too layered...

too fruitcake.

Too whiskey, too rye.

[mimicking Murdock]
Come on, guys...

let me fly you to the moon.

[imitating Murdock]
Can't you see?

I'm "Howling Mad" Murdock
who drives you...

wildly insane.

(paramedic on radio) V.A. dispatch, this
is Mobile Three, we're at the motel...

and going in for Murdock now.

(dispatcher)
Roger.

[imitating a monkey]

Let's take him.

No, you got the wrong-- That's Murdock.
Hey, Hannibal, say something.

(Face)
You've got the wrong guy.

I was just pretending
to be Murdock.

I was assuming
his personality.

(Murdock) And quite
convincingly, too, I might add.