05x16 - Washington Deceased

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Hill Street Blues". Aired: January 15, 1981 - May 12, 1987.*
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The show chronicles the lives of the staff of a single police station located on Hill Street in an unnamed large city.
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05x16 - Washington Deceased

Post by bunniefuu »

[Man]
previously on
"hill street blues."

The melon felon,
he's still out there.

We've got five heads
and three bodies.

Why did you
come to this lot?

Well, I was interested in...
Buying a mobile home.

Is that our decoy?

Correct, sir,
detective mayo.

Great set of wheels, huh?

How's that little snip of
a girl?

- You mean robin tataglia?
- Yeah

It's over with us,
it's finished.

In addition,
I'm being evicted.

We'll take every one of your
complaints,

Fix it like new and have you
back in your new home by...

The end of the day.

What?

Daniels just asked me out for
dinner next week.

Good news, detective.

How does one bedroom,
virtually rent free

With a shower massage sound?

You fix your motor home,
lieutenant?

I am not looking forward
to this date.

Pats, what could be bad?

Daniels buys you a nice dinner.

You show him a little leg
and then he drives you home.

Two out of three, harry.

I am not showing him
a little leg.

You're a damn sexy woman.

You make me feel
young again.

In touch with myself.

Connected to my long, dormant
sensual side.

[Stan]
quiet...

A headless female torso
was discovered

Behind glushefski's market,
3:00 a.m. This morning.

104 And decker.

That brings
the torso total to seven.

Craniums remain at five.

Answering which,

Operation decap begins
today on the hill,

Polk avenue and the ferry.

These are the three precincts
that this maniac has hit.

Female officers denison,
barbara, white, vershal,

Brenner and diehl, are on loan
from the heights and midtown.

Now, along
with mayo and sgt. Bates,

They're gonna be on the street
as bait.

Each has an mv backup.

Lt. Goldblume
is coordinating.

Forensics has this guy
using a carpet Kn*fe

To decapitate his victims,
which are all-- all female.

Different races, all hookers.

No description.

No consistent m.o. Except for
the targets of the assaults.

Let's, uh...

Let's catch
him, folks.

Incidentally, um...

Officer coffey and hudson
and detective garibaldi

Will be on loan exchange
to the heights

For the duration
of operation decap.

Item four.

Four continue
the undercover

Against the on-the-take
city inspectors.

Detectives belker,
larue and washington

Will be working with
lt. Mel taber from polk avenue.

They're gonna be at
the chuck wagon,

1-2-6 And lexington.

Hey, how many inspectors
you got left to tape, people?

The department of health guy,
sarge.

Anybody swing
on detective taber yet?

Hey, we're sending him
to dale carnegie

After the operation, sarge.

Item five.

Item five is a memo

From our friend,
mr. Albert desjardin

From division of accounting.

We got this at the end of
business yesterday.

They're tightening
the belt again, people.

[Officers booing]

Yeah, you got it.

Beginning immediately.

"Officers are required to
provide accurate telephone logs

"And to pay the department for
toll calls, long distance

Or local,
which are not job related."

[All jeering]

Also...

Also, we got print-outs
of the last three months

Of precinct billings
which will be posted...

Uh...

Uh, check the list.

Ante up the division.

Two, damage to units.

"Beginning today, division will
evaluate all accident reports.

"If an officer
is deemed negligent

"In his vehicle's operation,
that officer will be held

Financially responsible
for vehicular repair."

So you bring money
and a tire iron

To work with you, right?

Item six.

I don't wanna embarrass anybody,
but, uh...

I happen to know that we
have a birthday boy today.

Who shall remain nameless.

Last...

Tonight,
the hill street keglers

Open a season against midtown.

[All cheering]

We looked damn good
in practice, people.

I think that
we might make a run

At the championship this year.

Anybody feel like it,
come on down.

Lend some moral support.

The first frame rolls,
the bowlmor lanes, 6:30 p.m.

Let's do it to them
before they do it us.

[Cheering]

Natalie, give me a couple
of videos tapes, would you?

All the chickens
coming home to roost.

Is this the idiot printout of
precinct phone calls?

Yes, sir.

Neal, is belker
down there?

He was gonna drive to

The undercover by himself,
lieutenant.

- Oh, rats.
- Any message?

Uh, thanks, no, maybe I'll
catch him at lunch.

Hey, do I understand that you
are moonlighting on a movie set?

Would you hold the decibel level
down just a hair, huh?

Okay, mums the word.

You meet anybody famous?

Lieutenant, we're talking a
low-budget horror film, here.

It's not exactly like you're
gonna see marquee names.

F-u-r-i-l-l--
l-o, yes.

You tell mr. Desjardin
that his directives

On phone call reimbursements

Are about the stupidest I've
seen in my years on the force.

They're unenforceable and
they'll break morale.

Yeah, they're unenforce--

Look, just tell mr. Desjardin
that if he has the guts

To come out from behind his
printouts, I wanna talk to him.

Or he can come down here
to the precinct.

I'll be here 'til very late.

Yes, thank you.

[Clearing throat]

Did you see the directives from
division of accounting?

Yeah, they're nuts.

Captain, could we talk a minute
about operation decap?

Sure.

Um, I'm concerned about
the follow-up procedures

If the undercovers have to go
indoors with this guys.

We really ought to have
cops pre-deployed in the hotel.

Patsy, our manpower is finite.

Five out of seven of those
att*cks

Took place out on the street.

It's how
we decided to go.

I'd like not to go out on
this assignment, sir.

I'll ride back up but...

I don't wanna
go out as bait.

I have to tell you that given

The inherent danger
and the operation,

I think
it's been sensibly laid out.

The guy scares
the hell out of me.

A frightened cop can endanger
an entire operation.

You ride backup today.

Thanks, captain.

You perform too bravely in
too many dangerous situations

Not to have this one coming.

Thank you, sir.

Hey, what the hell's
the big hang-up?

We're getting our equipment
together, lt. Taber, sir.

Yeah.

Well, if furillo had
more than half a brain,

We wouldn't be taking
this stuff down

Every afternoon, and then
setting it back up again
every damn--

The captain didn't think

The night guy at the restaurant
could be trusted.

Oh, yeah, the night guy.

He looks like a regular
dillinger, doesn't he?

Mel definitely needs
his purse string.

Yeah, and he's gonna feel
better when he gets it, too.

That's more than we can say for
your problem... Washington.

Hey, why don't you
take it easy, huh, taber?

Whole damn department.

Getting drowned in broads
and spades.

What did you say, taber?

Nothing, captain,
just having a few problems

With this operation.

Good,
sit on 'em.

And if I hear another r*cist
cr*ck out of you,

I'm gonna run your
butt back to school patrol.

Get back to work.

- Big man, big sh*t.
- Turn around and say it.

[Siren blaring]

[Dispatch]
we have a 9-11,
armed robbery in progress.

See surplus store,

Corner of people's drive
and 124th street.

[Sirens blaring]

♪♪

[Siren blaring]

♪♪

♪♪

[Man on radio]
yo, chica.

[Lucy on radio]
yo, yourself.

Looking to boogey?

[Man]
me and my money, get in.

I have not seen you on this
block before.

[Car starting]

[Patsy]
andy-7 on coral and 114.

I'm gonna circle the block.

[Lucy]
now what?

- What are you doing?
- We see if we got company.

What's the problem,
what do you mean, company?

Don't you got nobody
who turns you out?

Nobody to look after you?

I do real well looking after
myself, thanks.

Ha, chica.

But you ain't
doing good enough.

What's-- what's with
the Kn*fe?

Don't you know
these streets...

There's a guy out here...

Cutting ladies.

- Is that you?
- I'm a serious man, chica.

Is that right?

But I'm not gonna cut you
because I'm loco.

I'm gonna
cut you for being solo.

On my streets.

[Tires screeching]

That's it,
you're busted!

What's going on?

I'm a cop,
you're under arrest.

Get out of the card
and spread 'em.

- Stay cool.
- You stay cool.

- Stay calm, ladies.
- You stay calm, get out!

How you doing, simon?

I'm in mourning.

I just heard my favorite
restaurant's getting sold.

Want you to meet
neal harrison.

Neal bought me out.

Simon meyers, neal,
the department of health.

- Hey, how you doing?
- Pleasure, neal.

I made neal familiar
with my entire operation.

Everything... The way
I've done business.

Good.

Just wanna keep things going on
the way george did, sir.

If it ain't busted,
neal, don't fix it.

- Am I correct?
- Yeah, right.

Let's have
a look at your storage

And we'll see how you stand.

Well, maybe taber gets to go
home for lunch today, huh.

Maybe everyone does.

[Simon]
oh, you got possible rodent
leavings here, neal.

[Taber]
tell you one thing I'm not
working on is that head cutter.

I had one of those crazies
my first sh*t out

After I made clothes.

Guy kept his mother's head
in a soup bowl.

I nearly quit the force.

[Neal]
making sure that I pass
my health inspection.

Well, no one wants
to see a violation.

[J.d.]
Hey, hey, all right.

Come on, come on.

George here said
that if I paid you...

[Static blaring]

[J.d.]
Oh, man, uh-oh.

Are you kidding?

Are you
kidding me?!

- What is the problem?
- Hey, I'm working on it.

I can't believe--
I cannot believe it.

He blew it.

Last guy we've gotta get, and
your buddy screws up the tape!

Keep your voice down.

Oh, I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life here.

I'm gonna die here!

Neal, this is what we call an
approval with a caution.

Now that's on
account of the leavings.

I'll stay on top of it, sir.

Don't do that, it'll
make your clothes stink.

[Laughing]

Neal, I'm glad we met.

I'm glad there's
continuity.

My pleasure, sir.

Hey, how we doing,
fellas?

We couldn't get
the dishes done, mr. Harrison.

The, uh... Washer's
on the fritz.

- Equipment problem?
- Yeah.

- George, drop me a postcard.
- Will do!

- See you on the 15th.
- Yeah, right, 15th.

What happened?
Why couldn't we bust him?

Marconi screwed up.

We didn't get
the bribe on tape!

A cord came loose, mel,
it happens, you know?

All right,
we gotta get meyers back.

This is no good, you guys aren't
gonna be done for days!

A bunch of amateurs,
a spook and two losers!

J.d., I'm about to pop this
fat bastard.

Let it go, neal,
I got mel covered.

Listen, we gotta get back
in touch with the guy.

It's up to you.

You think
you can handle a phone call?

Trust me, trust me, okay,
scouts honor.

I really don't know how you got
to be this old, lieutenant.

What did
the p.b.a. Tell you?

Put it on the grievance list.

Talk about it at next
month's meeting.

Frankly,
I put about as much store

In the protective benevolent
association

As I do with that police
accountant, mr. Deg--

- Desjardin.
- Digenarro.

Desjardin-- you see that guy?

[Woman]
hey, stop!

Somebody stop him!

- Now surely he must...
- [Horn honking]

- I'll get him.
- [Horn honking]

[Tires screeching]

[Woman]
did you see that guy?

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Stop it!

I made a mistake,
let me out.

Rodriguez, do you wanna try and
stick this in my face again?

I hear we made a pop at the
red zone undercover, sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Possible he's our k*ller?

We're gonna
question him

But I think he's just a pimp
with a loud mouth!

Well done, anyway.

Detective?

Chief?

How's the iron maiden
this morning?

Okay.

[Phone ringing]

Tag him, lou.

Detective mayo!

I see you're listed in a follow
car for the undercover.

Yes, sir.

Why aren't you
out on the street?

I changed mayo's
assignment, chief.

That's a fascinating allocation
of manpower, captain.

Transfer 14 female cops
from other precincts

And mayo gets to
ride in a follow car.

It was at my request, sir.

[Frank]
chief, if we could
discuss this--

- Your request?
- Yes, sir.

I asked to be reassigned.

Did you ask for
any warm milk, detective?

No.

I want you out on the street,
detective mayo,

Dressed like a whore.

Detective mayo has questioning
and paperwork

To do on this arrest.

Bates can write up
the collar.

She was brave enough to make it.

Out on the street, detective,
that's an order.

Sir, I don't feel
this operation is safe.

Insubordinate refusal of a
direct order-- you're suspended!

- I don't believe you.
- Believe me.

You don't
have to suspend me.

Here.

Here, captain, give these to
someone who uses--

- Chief--
- the hell with her, frank.

The woman's a coward and she's
personally abusive to boot.

Trying to
ridicule me that way.

- I didn't hear any ridicule.
- Then you weren't listening.

Frank,
she's quit, that's it.

We're the better for it.

Can I ask you
to take a day?

I'll come to your office and we
can work out discipline--

Don't manage me, furillo.

The hell with mayo,
cased closed.

Keep me
posted on the operation.

Patsy?

I'm out of here, captain.

Calm down and tell me
what's going on.

What's going on?

He couldn't make it
with me last night

So he calls me out
in the station.

He calls me a coward in front
of everyone I work with.

Back up.

You had
a date with chief daniels?

He kept asking, I didn't
know how to get out of it.

We had dinner.

I tried to shut him down
politely, but no way.

He made a pass at you.

"You're so damned
attractive, patsy.

"I'm so lonely, patsy.

Dammit if I can't
help myself."

I felt sorry
for the guy, captain.

He's just separated,
he's all freaked out.

But he wouldn't take
the hint.

So I stopped hinting
and now he pulls this!

Take back the hardware,
patsy.

Let me try to
work it out.

I shouldn't need
you to run interference

So I can function as a cop.

Look, this is a ticklish
situation on both sides.

You were bordering
on refusing an order

And he may have been guilty
of harassment.

Maybe I ought to bring charges

And let the review board
sort it out.

Is that what you want?

I wanna be treated
like a human being.

And I wanna do my job.

I mean, maybe with this morning
you doubt it.

If that's what you really want,
you'll go back on assignment.

I'm suspended.

You let me
worry about that.

This isn't
one I had coming.

This one's on the house.

Notice anything
different about me, leo?

You're losing weight,
mrs. Furillo.

You look great,
excuse me.

- No, that's--
- fay.

Frank,
notice anything different?

I can't talk now, fay.

Officers?

- Ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.

[Andy]
sergeant, allow me to present

The remains of the passenger
door of my vehicle.

What happened?

Well, sarge, I made
a sudden stop to go after

A purse snatcher, um,
but we didn't have the--

Sir, and then I was about to
get out,

And a man came along
by the name of lorenzo summers

And sheared that thing off
slicker than a mink's privates.

Sign out another unit.

- Sarge--
- but, sarge--

I don't want you to think
that I'm a gross abuser
of the unit because--

Andy, stop with
the martyr routine.

Sir, I do not feel that my
partner and I should do

Eight kabillion
reams of paperwork
because of some mistake--

Andy, this is the beginning
of the bowling league.

Nothing's gonna
spoil my good humor.

Sign out another unit.

Shut up.

Here's 2202.

[Siren blaring in the distance]

Rodriguez made a mistake.

Rodriguez
popped his mouth off

And he's sorry.

Man, I thought you
was working.

I was looking to impress you.

You impressed the hell
out of me.

I made a mistake.

I'm telling you
what's on my mind.

What do you know about these
killings, tommy?

Believe me.

If we knew something,
so would you.

This loco
is scaring away trade.

He's making the girls crazy.

It's possible
that I lost a chick myself.

I might have a chick working
for me right now

But this
loco cut her head off.

He k*lled one of your girls?

Possibly, yeah.

But you didn't see him.

Man, you can't be every place
at one time.

No.

You're busted for
assaulting a cop.

Busted.

That's right, rodriguez.

Who's gonna take
care of my girls?

Anybody better than you.

See, that's because you've never
taken the treatment.

I am sorry, tommy,
forgive me.

I'm trolling for
a compliment, henry.

Uh... Hot blouse, fay.

Just get it?

No, I was
wearing this blouse

The first time we ever went out,
you jerk.

It's a long way to go
to take a cheap sh*t, fay.

Alice, hey,
you are a sweetheart.

Take this for your trouble.

And no damage when you bring
this back to me, okay?

- I could lose my job.
- Hey, trust me on it, okay?

I'm gonna treat this
like it was my own.

Try to dress better
when you say this to my dad.

I'll be honest with you, neal,

I don't care much
for emergency calls.

I promise,
it'll just take a second.

What's our problem?

Neal had a concern he wanted to
discuss with you.

He's concerned with
arnie esposito.

Mick, mick!

What's the ugliest thing
you ever saw?

Oh!

Ooh!

What the hell is that?

It's from that movie I'm doing,
"hacksaws from hell."

Ooh... What's it for?

[Chuckling]

You think we ought to
pay them off too?

[Simon]
neal, if I tell you I need
$40 twice a month...

Don't look in the box.

Keep away
from the box.

What box?

The owner's got 6,000 t-bones
in that box on the shelf.

I, uh,
borrowed a dozen before.

You better go back
and get some more.

What do you mean?

- I'm in for some steak too.
- Hey, come on, taber.

Otherwise the owner
might find out.

Yeah, yeah.

If you wanna give me
a double-sawbuck,

This is between you
and your conscience.

- I'd like to do it.
- This is up to you.

Okay...

Bingo, look at this.

Pop him when they
come out.

Where are you gonna be?

In the freezer.

Oh, yeah?

You know something, larue?

Lose that shine partner of
yours, you could be a citizen.

Gotcha.

Mick, we're gonna bust him.

Pleasure
doing business, neal.

Yeah.

You're under arrest,
dog breath.

What?
Are you kidding me?

Does it look like we're kidding,
butt face?

Grab the counter.

We're police officers,
mr. Meyers.

You're under arrest for
solicitation and acceptance
of a bribe.

- You have the right to
remain...
- I don't believe this.

- You set me up.
- They had me--
three counts of receiving.

You people ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Shut up!

- Take him to the station, mick.
- Let's go.

I gotta go too?

Move!

What's up,
what's going on?

Stick it in your ear, mel.

You want steaks,
you steal 'em yourself.

Where you going, mel?

I forgot something.

Hey, go ahead, mick.

We'll lock up here,
be along in a few.

[J.d. Humming]

What'd you do, j.d.?

A little payback
for melski.

I got a rubber head from that
prop girl on that movie set.

I just planted it in there.

I can hardly wait to see the
expression on this jerk's face.

[Laughing]
all right.

Mel's a little late
for his cue.

- J.d.
- What?

Is that a hand?

Oh, no, oh, no.

Oh, man, heart att*ck.

Stroke, something.

I'll call an ambulance.

Call two.

Detective taber
had a heart att*ck?

Uh, I heard he was sick,
captain.

I had already left.

I'm simon meyers, captain.

A very small frog in a very
large and dirty pond.

Save it, meyers.

I don't know why I've been
singled out

For this kind of treatment.

- Must be your lucky day.
- Sit!

Phone call, sarge,
it's urgent.

Jablonski.

Where?

Okay.

Stay put, seal it off.

Captain, cozike and frame
answered a complaint.

They found two bodies in
a basement near lincoln.

Torsos, same m.o.

- Any chance for an i.d.?
- No.

Looks like they've been
there a long time.

That much decomposition, they
usually work off dental records.

Okay, keep me posted.

- Natalie.
- Yeah.

Go through dispatch.

We want detectives f.i.d.
At that address.

Right.

Captain!

You countermanded my orders?

- Chief--
- don't chief me.

Warren briscoe was just
at the undercover

And said mayo is back on duty!

If we're gonna do the laundry
in public again,

Then we're
gonna do all of it.

Starting with the date
last night.

What's that little tramp
saying I did?

Detective mayo is
saying that after repeated

And insistent invitations,

You took her to
dinner last night.

That you had too much to drink,

Tried to get her on
a sensitivity weekend

With you at camp hyperion.

Then took her home
and pawed at her clothes

While propositioning her.

That's amazing.

- That's ludicrous.
- Is it true?

"A," it's a total distortion.

"B," what happened last night
has nothing to do with mayo

Refusing a direct
command this morning.

As a witness,
I'd have to testify

That mayo's response to your
order was ambiguous.

She refused it!

She said she didn't think
the operation was safe.

You suspended her before
she had a chance to refuse.

If you're choosing up with mayo
in this little donnybrook,

Captain, I can promise you
you're gonna land on your fanny.

I don't wanna chose sides.

I want you to realize that mayo
may have grounds

For harassment charges.

- They'd never stand up.
- Maybe not.

The point is, she doesn't
even wanna bring them.

All she wants
to do is be a cop...

If you can control your wounded
vanity enough to let her.

Oh, god, it's true.

I was trying to
sexually intimidate

An attractive subordinate.

And she refused
my shoddy advances.

I was so humiliated
I wanted to hurt her.

We all have to grapple with
our impulses, chief.

But I wouldn't complicate
things by bring charges.

I had fantasies about her,

Slamming the door on me
and calling

Some young stud boyfriend,
sharing a laugh

About old fletch, the letch.

I gather
you'd be willing to--

[Sobbing]
oh, god.

This separation's
k*lling me.

[Sobbing]

I've been there,
chief.

Most of us have.

[Sobbing]

It hurts,
but it's not fatal.

We learn from it.

We grow, I hope.

It's okay.

You're okay.

I'll talk to
the young woman.

I'll make it right.

You're protecting me from cruel
and venal impulses, frank.

You're a good man.

Bless you, frank.

Bless you too, ray.

[Phones ringing]

[Woman on p.a.]
Dr. Brunette,
surgery one, stat.

I am not gonna
pray the man dies, neal.

I'm not gonna hope he dies

Even if my only chance to stay
on the force

Is if that rat croaks without
regaining consciousness

And to say what it is I did.

I'm gonna
take the heat, j.d.

- I'm gonna say I did it.
- No way.

My jacket's got room, baby.

I don't think
yours can take the weight.

One time.

One time, if it's the lord's
will, let him go.

Doctor,
how's detective taber doing?

You will be glad to know
it was a mild infarction.

He ought to be just fine.

Oh... Good.

- Hi, fellas.
- Mel...

How you feeling?

They say
it was a mild one.

They think I'm gonna do okay.

I don't know how to start
telling you how sorry I am, mel.

Listen, I'm grateful
for what you did.

Uh-huh.

Getting me right in,
getting me looked at.

Doctor said that was crucial.

What happened when you went back
to the freezer.

What difference
does it make, neal?

I'm damned if I know
what happened.

I went back there,
I'm looking for the box.

And i-- I get like a fist
in my chest.

Thank goodness.

Mel seems to have come through
this unscathed, neal.

Why don't we get
the hell out of here

And let this man
catch his strength.

You know what
I'm lying here thinking?

Somebody wants me to turn over
a new leaf.

Yeah, well, uh...

Good luck
with your program, mel.

See ya.

Turn over a new leaf?

Huh, guy needs to replant
his whole forest.

Unbelievable, he never
even saw the head.

Now I wish I'd hit the sucker.

You know what
I'm gonna do with this?

You know who's
perfect for this?

What are you talking about?

The head.

Coffey's perfect,
he freaks with this stuff.

J.d.,
You just dodged a howitzer.

I've got a perfectly good head
here, neal.

I'm not just
gonna give it back.

It's an unfired sh*t.

[Train whistle blowing]

Bobby, I'd swear
this is the first unit

I drove when I come on this
force.

It can't be, they retire
these units every--

- Radio's broke.
- Every three years.

Do you smell burning odor or
something, what is that?

... Burning
or something like that.

All right, angela,
I got you in sight.

[Angela]
roger, lieutenant.

Excuse me, customer.

Nice van.

What color blue is this?

[Man]
royal blue, come on
for a drive.

Call you angel?

[Angela]
you want me to be your angel.

- Please...
- Just shut up!

All units code ten.

39, Decap suspect in blue van.

Grand and weaver,
code ten, 3-9.

Let's go.

[Siren blaring]

[Tires screeching]

Police!
You're completely surrounded!

Come on out with your hands high
and empty.

Hey, I'm not the guy
you're thinking of.

I was just joking with this
woman, that's all.

That's good, get out of there,
and we'll talk about it.

Or maybe
I did cut her throat.

That woman's a cop.

You got no chance
of getting out of here.

You don't know anything
about this woman!

She's disguised as a whore

But under the disguise
she really is a whore!

You are under arrest!

Come on, let's go!

I haven't got any brakes!

Hold on,
I haven't got any brakes!

Anything you say can and will be
used against you

In a court of law.

I can't help it, I can't help
it, I can't help it.

[Siren blaring]

Uh... You have the right
to an attorney.

You have the right
to have that attorney

Present during questioning.

- Back, people, come on.
- What's his name?

- Come on, get back!
- Is he a decap suspect?

Is he a suspect in
the decap killings?

Did he confess?

Says he wants to talk to us,
says he doesn't want a lawyer.

Gotta be the guy, frank.

Couldn't be two guys that crazy
on the street.

The decap suspect?

[Man]
that's really not my problem.

Got good miranda.

Says he wants to talk to us,
says he doesn't want a lawyer.

I prefer he have counsel,
frank.

We don't wanna
lose a confession.

Get him up to p.d.m. And let's
interrogate him.

Joyce, let's not
be too fastidious.

If the guy wants to talk,
I wanna hear what he has to say.

Sergeant, caution the press on
disclosure of the operation

'Til we see
if this is the guy.

Will do, sir.

A moment of your time,
detective?

In private?

Did you talk to
capt. Furillo?

Yes, I did.

This way.

After further consideration,

I decided I overreacted
this morning.

I don't condone your questioning
your assignment.

But capt. Furillo
has persuaded me

The matter was
being handled internally.

At any rate,
I want to apologize.

You called me a coward.

I applauded
bates' bravery.

You called me a coward, chief,
and I'm not.

I know you're not.

I apologize.

Okay.

This damn sex business
between men and women...

Really mucks things up,
doesn't it?

It can.

You're a damn good detective...
Detective.

I mean that.

Thank you.

And a damn sexy one, too.

Fletcher, cease.

[Joyce]
I want it on record
that I'd recommended

Against mr. Morris
talking to you.

It's also on record

That mr. Morris
has been fully advised.

You're speaking to us
of your own choice,

Mr. Morris, is that correct?

Is the hen party over now?

Please answer
the question.

Yes, I'm talking to you freely.

You're talking of your
own free will?

Yes.

- Do you want this or not?
- Yes, we do.

There are
seven murders we believe

Were committed by
the same person.

And what do you know.

Here's someone that wants to
talk about something.

We found seven women m*rder*d

In what appears to be
a similar way.

Uh-huh.

Did you
commit those murders?

Uh-huh.

[Door closing]

Albert desjardin,
head of division accounting,

Here to see capt. Furillo.

I'll let him
know you're here.

Are you mr. "Dee-jardin"?

- Desjardin, correct.
- Division of accounting?

Uh, that is correct, officer.

Uh, sir, mr. Desjardin,

I wonder if I can ask you
something for a minute, sir.

Uh... I was wondering, uh,

If you at division
can be so sticky

About holding officers
responsible for the condition

Of their vehicles
when they come back,

I wonder if you're gonna
be such sticklers

About how
they are when they go out?

Officer, I haven't a clue to
what you're talking about.

Well, sir, what I'm talking
about is me and my partner,

Officer hill, who's standing
behind you here, sir.

Well, we got a replacement
vehicle from the motor pool,

And it braked about as good
as my aunt elvira.

Which means it didn't
have no brakes at all.

What you're talking about here,
officer,

Is a compensation claim.

Totally
different department.

Albert, desjardin,
capt. Furillo.

Finish up.

I'm just asking this gentlemen,
sir, why it is

Division of accounting
spend so much time

Trying to figure out
how to nickel and dime

Officers in the field.

No quarrel
from this corner, andy.

You see, we put our lives on the
line every day, mr. Desjardin.

Every day.

Well, division appreciates
the job you men are doing.

And many, many thanks today
for this input, hm?

Thank you very much.

- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, gentlemen.

Sir!

This has not been a great day

In the life
of albert desjardin, captain.

Well, thanks for getting
back so promptly.

Um... It won't
come as a shock if I tell you

Yours was not the only complaint
we had this morning.

I've been on a road show
all day to the precincts.

Now, sir, we don't ask that you
fall in love

With the new phone policy.

We just ask that you try to
understand.

Let me try to save you a little
time here, mr. Desjardin.

I just wanna show you
the results of our study

Of the ratio between personal
to private calls

On the precinct phones.

And I'm telling you, you can
take your studies and shove them

Back in your briefcase.

Cop has
a right to come off his shift

And call home to say he's gonna
be late for dinner.

Oh, of course he does, sir.

We're not expecting anything
like full compliance.

What this directive
does is it lets the men know

That accounting's out there.

Puts the fear
of god in them,

Like our personal responsibility
directive on damaged cars.

Keeps the men on their toes.

Mr. Desjardin,
as far as I'm concerned,

The directives don't exist.

Oh, now you can tear up
all the studies you like,

But it will not make
the directives go away.

As far as I'm concerned,
you don't exist.

Well, that's
very constructive, sir.

You know, I feel like making
a personal phone call.

Overseas operator, please.

There's nothing in
the directive that says

You can't make a personal phone
call, captain.

Uh, turin, italy.

Only thing directive
says is that

You're gonna
have to pay us back.

I'd like to see you
try to collect.

Uh-huh, yeah, um,
0-8-8-4-4-7-3.

Person-to-person?

Um, that's more expensive,
isn't it?

Good, okay, yeah, then let's
make it person-to-person.

Tommaso feltrinelli.

Uh-huh, yeah.

From francis furillo.

Gee, I haven't talked to my
uncle tommaso in...

Must be over a year now.

You'll forgive me
if I don't stay around

For the rest of this petulant
drama, captain.

Uh, operator...
Uh, listen.

I'd like to cancel-- hello?

Zio.

Uh, si.

No, stoy bene.

Mick, mick,
I'm afraid I am the bearer

Of a temporary eviction notice.

What's going on?

I have decided to
drive pegasus

Up to
the lake region this weekend.

Okay.

Well... You know,
you're more than welcome

To occupy sunday night.

Actually, I think I'll look
for another place

To live this
weekend, lieutenant.

I hope the short notice doesn't
give offense, mick, I mean...

The travel notion
just came over me this morning.

It's no problem.

Got his game face on,
huh, lieutenant?

Excuse me?

Mick's got his game face on for
the bowling league tonight.

You gonna come out
and watch us?

Oh, no, no, I think I'll--
I'll pass, sergeant.

But I'll be
with you in spirit.

Atta boy.

Actually, I think I may pass on
the bowling myself, sarge.

The hell you say.

Mick...
It don't take a genius

To see that you got
the birthday blahs.

Even if you hadn't ixnayed
my announcing

At roll call this morning.

I just think
I'd like to spend

A quiet night at home in my
trailer, that's all.

Malarkey.

Listen, mick.

Didn't we have a good time
the other night

When I nearly
had to shanghai you.

We went out, we had
that nice polish duck.

Yeah, that was fun.

All right, then, you listen
to dr. Jablonski.

We'll bowl.

And then afterwards,
we might go to mulligans.

Have a few brews.

Which shall be
free and gratis

To a certain individual on
account of what day it is.

I'm 37 years old
and I'm alone.

That's right.

You're gonna
take it lying down?

Good for you.

Captain, I've got
it all straightened out
with chief daniels.

- Good.
- Thank you.

No need for thanks.

And thank you
for this morning, too.

Not trying to talk me
out of my fear.

Being
the kind of man you are.

To whom it may concern.

I had my braces
taken off today.

And I think I look very good.

In fact, I think my smile
is very much better.

Thank you and good night.

Hey, pats.

Listen, I hear you nailed
that k*ller today.

Is that right,
you were in on that?

Yeah, we got him.

Oh, good going,
you must feel terrific.

Been a long day.

Listen, pats, I never got
a chance to ask you,

How was your date
with the chief?

Well...

I'll tell you all about it
sometime.

Whenever.

You okay?

Yeah.

I missed you today, harry.

Thanks.

[Phone ringing]

[Chuckling]

Big, strong guy like you--
now who'd have figured?

Hey, look, j.d., I don't have to
prove my masculinity

Off the weight
of my bowling ball.

14-1/2 Pound ball.

Hey, you get more lift and
better mix with the pins.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
let me see your ball.

Why don't you
go all the way, j.d.

And try it
at the bowling alley tonight.

'Cause I ain't bowling tonight
is why, wise guy.

Hey, if it's a big thing,
forget it, never mind.

All right, all right.

If you ever tried this,
you know what I'm talking about.

All right, let me see.

Jeez!

What the hell is that?!

[Laughing]

What'd you do, j.d.?

You put this in while I was
shaving, didn't you?

You think that's
real funny, don't you?

Stupid jerk!

Hey, take it easy, joe.

You got a problem,
coffey?

You're the one
with the problem, larue.

- Okay, joe, take it easy, man.
- Way to take a joke, fella.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, how 'bout this, j.d.?

You think this is a million
laughs?

You think this is
funny, larue?

What the hell's
the matter with you?

Come on, joe, put the piece away
now, man.

Hey, you stay out of this.

This guy
makes me sick.

You're gonna give somebody
a heart att*ck larue.

Hey, come on,
don't do it, joe.

[g*nsh*t f*ring]

Neal!

Neal...

[Man]
neal, are you okay?

I gotta get an ambulance.

God, neal,
this is all my fault.

- [Moaning]
- what?

I caught you
with your...

♪ Backfield in motion ♪

♪ Gonna have to
penalize you ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Backfield in motion baby ♪

♪ You know that's
against the rules ♪♪

Okay, all of youse...

I'll tell you why
this ain't funny.

Why this is not
the same thing.

Tell us about it, babe.

It's not
the same because of--

The spirit it
was intended in!

[All laughing]

Oh yeah, yeah, laugh--
I wouldn't expect you to
understand.

I wouldn't expect
any of you to get it!

Jerk!

[Laughing]

The man was had!

[Laughing]

Hey, the chorus
definitely needs work.

Get out of here.

It all depends
whose ox gets gored.

When daniels was bullying
patsy mayo this morning

I said to myself,

"I never wanna have
an ego that fragile."

Four hours later,
I'm ranting and raving

And making a totally pointless
call to turin, italy,

Trying to put some emotional
distance between me and this

Uriah heep
from division of accounting.

[Sighing]

How about a little
spousal support here?

[Chuckling]

How about a little, "there's
a world of difference, frank"?

There's a world
of difference, frank.

More feeling.

There is.

[Laughing]

You weren't making
cheap passes at anyone.

Boy, I don't wanna end up like
daniels 15 years from now,

- I'll tell you that.
- No chance.

That's not to say I don't
wanna be making passes.

Let's go home, frank.

Maybe I can give
your ego a boost.

[Siren blaring in distance]

Lieutenant, is that you?

[Robin]
♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday
dear michael ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

How'd you get in?

I picked the lock.

Why?

I miss you.

I... I wanted to be with you
on your birthday.

What about that other guy?

I may not have gotten everything
I needed from him, mick.

But without you
I don't have any of it.

I don't know what to say.

- Do you want me to go?
- No.

Look...

... Ever since you...

... Ever since we decided to
stop seeing each other,

It's all been wrong.

I know I'm not
an easy person.

But if maybe
you could give me another--

Shh...

Just make a wish
and blow out the candle.

♪♪

♪♪
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