♪♪ Three deuces
and a four-speed ♪♪
♪♪ And a three eighty-nine ♪♪
♪♪ Listen to her tackin' up now ♪♪
♪♪ Listen to her whi-yi-yine ♪♪
♪♪ Come on and turn it on,
wind it up, blow it out ♪♪
♪♪ Gto. ♪♪
Whoo-hoo!
Here you go, avery.
I hear, after a hard race,
there's nothing
Mario andretti likes more
than a tall, frosty juice box.
Hey, little buckaroo.
How you doing?
Is this my new secretary?
You're fired.
Where do kids
pick these things up?
Beats me.
We got to get going.
We got a lot of stuff
to do today.
So what's the schedule?
The zoo, kiddie land
Check out that
cement mixer
At that new
construction site--
You know, guy stuff.
Yeah, guy stuff.
Okay, but no
sitting on a girder
Whistling at women.
Oh, no. We
wouldn't do that.
Would we?
Nah!
Oh, hi, miller.
I had fun last night.
Thanks for the flowers.
That was so thoughtful.
You can't date
a beautiful woman
Without bringing
her flowers.
At least that's what the guy
at the on-ramp told me.
Aw, and they say
romance is dead.
Only from the neck up.
Boy! Boy, oh, boy,
am I in a pickle.
I've got a hot-breaking story
way down in florida
But who can I
send there?
Who? Who? Who?
Wait. Brainstorm!
Miller, this story
is perfect for you.
A story that's perfect
for miller...
It can't involve math, geography
or words over two syllables.
I'm stumped.
Yeah, me too.
What is it?
It's a hurricane headed
for coral palms
A little town
on the florida coast.
I need you down
there right away.
Oh, no. That means you'll
miss our date on friday.
You two had a date?
I feel awful.
Don't worry, corky.
There'll be other
times for us
But how often are you
lucky enough to have
A disaster fall
in your lap?
Obviously, my expertise
Is needed down there.
"Expertise."
Hey! Hey!
Oh, yeah.
May I remind you
that I was once
A weatherman?
Do either of you know what
a low-pressure system is?
It's when we use
the blue map.
Miller, you really
should get going.
Those hurricane winds
can pick up at any time.
Be careful.
You be careful too.
Bye, miller.
Bye, corky.
How about something
To remember you by?
Here's a phone book.
Have a nice trip.
Miles, you have
a call on line two.
Morning, all.
What's new?
Get this-- miles shipped
miller off to florida
To cover a hurricane.
He'll be interviewing
some old guy with no teeth
Who refuses to leave
his trailer park.
That was the network.
They liked my idea of covering
the hurricane so much
They want to send fyi
down there
To cover it too.
Dibs on the
toothless geezer.
Here you go.
Welcome to the coral palms
motor inn honeymoon suite
Where fantasy
and romance meet
To guarantee a night
of unbridled sensuality
And hot, burning passion
with easy interstate access.
It's very nice.
Don't touch anything.
Nice choice, miles.
What happened?
The bates motel
was having its
shower fixed?
We're covering a story
Also being covered
by every other news show.
We're lucky
to get anything.
Come on, jim.
It was a joke.
A joke?
A man dozes off
on the airplane
And you call lobbing
dry-roasted nuts
Into his open
mouth a joke?
Why didn't you
just dip my hand
In a bowl of
warm water?
We did.
It didn't work.
At least you got nuts.
They ran out
before they got to me.
The only thing I've eaten
was a yogurt-covered raisin
I found in the seat pocket
in front of me.
Your seat pocket
had a raisin?
Okay, the hurricane
is stalled off the coast
But it's picking up steam
and could hit any time tomorrow
So let's all get some rest.
You could show us
to our other rooms now.
Other rooms?
Yes. I booked rooms
for five people.
You booked a room
for five people
And this is it--
the presidential suite.
You said this was
the honeymoon suite.
It's both.
One time we had the president
of the kiwanis club
Stay here on his honeymoon.
That was a good night.
Save it for the brochure.
There must be some other place
we can stay--
Preferably with a nice buffet
and a big jacuzzi tub
So just point us to it
and we'll be on our way.
Sorry. The whole town
is boarded up
On account there's
a big hurricane coming
That could
destroy us all.
Enjoy your stay.
And if there's anything
you need, just ask.
Okay. I guess
if we're going
To be stuck in
this room for five
We'll need some cots.
Cots. I can't get that.
How about some food?
We're starved.
Food..! I can't get that.
You can't get cots
You can't get food.
What the hell
can you get?
Well, I moonlight
as a professional escort.
Anyone want a date?
Great. Nothing to eat
Sleeping in a room
full of people.
Throw in a beefy type
named gail
Who wants
to get to know me better
And I'm back
in the dean's office
Striking for a women's
studies program.
Oh, murphy, where's
your sense of adventure?
This will be fun.
Just pretend
we're having a slumber party
At the home of a friend...
Who left a really big pair
of men's underwear in the sink.
All right, I realize
these aren't ideal conditions
But we've got
a big day tomorrow
So let's figure out
the sleeping arrangements
And get some rest.
Good idea.
All right, I'll take the bed.
Frank:
what? Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a second.
Why do you get the bed?
Because...
My stuff is on it.
Okay, okay, hey, hey, hey.
There is no need to argue.
Between the bed and the sofa
There's enough room
for all of us.
Hey, everybody, guess what?
Civil defense just commandeered
my room for a morgue.
Cool, huh?
So can I double up
with somebody here?
Where's corky?
There's no room here.
In fact, I was just
Coming to get you.
Go out in
the helicopter
And get some sh*ts
of the hurricane.
Well, now? I just...
It might be
a little bumpy
But when you
get to the eye,
it's really calm.
It has an eye?
That's funny. I thought
I heard miller's voice.
Miller?
That is funny.
We were discussing
sleeping arrangements.
Frank, jim, you two
Want to take
the sofa bed?
Do you have a problem with that?
No problem here.
No.
Corky, you can share
the bed with murphy.
Can't she sleep
with frank and jim?
Murphy!
Corky:
I smell chocolate.
Murphy, do you
smell chocolate?
(Muffled):
nope.
Murphy, are you
eating something?
Murphy's eating something!
Oh!
Oh, just look at this.
A candy bar wrapper.
You had a candy bar!
She had lots
of candy bars!
Look at this!
Now where did
you get these?!
I cleaned out
the vending machines
When we got here.
A hurricane's coming!
Ever hear of hoarding food?
And you didn't think
to share with us?!
Let me remind you of the story
of the grasshopper and the ant.
The ant knew winter was coming,
so he stockpiled...
Miles:
murphy!
Slugger, how could you?
You were all sleeping.
If I'd have woken you up
I would have gotten in trouble
for that.
I can't win with you people.
There's one more
she didn't get to yet!
Let me have a
little of that.
Hold it! Hold it!
Now, the only
fair thing to do
Is to share this.
Let's just divide it
into four equal parts.
Excuse me, don't you mean
five equal parts?
What?
God, I feel awful.
Coming through.
Uh-uh-uh.
Take a number.
I'm in need of a shave
And frank's been in there
for the past minutes.
Course, he spent last night
hogging the covers
So why not monopolize
the bathroom too?
I tell you,
a little more drool
And a tad less cellulite
and I'd swear it was doris.
Frank:
I heard that.
Jim, look.
Where?
Oh, no...
Hey, how can you
Just bar in here
like that?
You're just brushing your teeth.
But what if I wasn't
just brushing my teeth?
What if I was doing
something embarrassing?
What could be
more embarrassing
Than yesterday when you had
those eight glasses of iced tea
And then asked us
To pull the van over
to the side of the road?
If you're going
to take that long
You shouldn't be startled
When someone
honks the horn.
I'll try to remember that.
Geez, you look like hell.
Oh, good. I'm glad my outsides
match my insides.
While I was sleeping
Someone put my stomach
on spin cycle.
That's funny.
I haven't heard you say that
since your boozing days.
Or when
you were pregnant.
What?
Oh, come on, murph.
So you're a little nauseous.
So what?
It's not like you're late
Or anything.
You're late?
How many weeks
would you consider late?
Oh, my god.
And my breasts do feel
kind of swollen.
Do my breasts look swollen
to you?
Who could tell?
Look, I got
to tell you something.
I don't believe this.
How could this
be happening again?
Don't you use protection?
Of course! But those things
are only % effective.
Can I help it if I've always
Been exceptional?
Oh... God!
I just...
Okay. Hey, wt a second.
Was it... Peter?
No, frank.
It was jesse helms.
We had a quickie
In the senate cloak room.
Of course it was peter!
How could you
be pregnant again?!
Keep your voice down!
Okay. Let's not get
carried away, all right?
We don't know
for sure, do we?
You know what we need?
Some kind of test.
I wish there was
some kind of test
To tell
if you were pregnant.
You mean a pregnancy test?
Yes!
I'll run
across the street
To the drugstore
and pick one up.
Miles:
it's here, it's here!
The hurricane is here!
Yeah, right,
the hurricane is here.
Oh, my god!
The hurricane is here.
Jim will be with me
in the news van.
Corky will get
local reactions!
Frank, I want you...
Miles, I got to run
Across the street
to the drugstore.
What?! You're going
to the drugstore now?!
Well, yeah. I, uh...
I ran out of, uh...
Of conditioner for my hair.
Yeah, me too.
No, murph,
I don't think
Someone with
your problem-- hair--
Should be out in a hurricane
going to get conditioner.
What if you don't get
the kind I want?
I have bought a lot
of conditioner in my day.
I think I know
the kind you want.
Why are we talking
about hair products?!
Okay, go, frank.
Just make sure
you get the kind
That works really fast.
The kind you pee into!
All right.
I'm out of here.
Be careful, frank.
You have no idea
How dangerous
these storms can be.
My cousin luanne was maimed
By a flying popsicle stick
right here.
Now she has to wear bangs
And on her
they're not at all flattering.
She's right, frank.
You don't have
enough hair
To go out in
that storm.
Frank fontana
does not let
A little breeze
hold him back.
Don't worry, guys.
I'll be back
in a second!
Frank!
Don't spend more
than ten dollars!
I see frank!
He's past the palm tree!
He's almost here!
He's tightly clutching
a stop sign!
Ooh... He's back
at the drugstore.
All right, all right, okay.
Corky is in the bathroom,
frank is out buying conditioner
And murphy is down in the lobby
For all we know,
looking at postcards
But this is okay.
All we need to do
is get into the news van
And everything will be okay.
Uh, miles, about the news van,
it-it appears to be... Gone.
Gone? Jim, it can't be gone.
It's parked right... It's gone!
The news van is gone!
Sorry to bother you,
but we have a strict policy:
No vans in the
swimming pool.
Okay.
The van is in the swimming pool,
but I can handle this.
I'm a highly paid
professional...
That is, at least until I get
back and explain to mr. Lansing
How his $ ,
state-of-the-art news van
Is now a submarine!
Oh, and about
that pregnancy test
I told you I could get?
What?! What are you
talking about?
Nobody here asked
for a pregnancy test!
Oh, yeah, that blonde lady
Gave me ten bucks
to get her one.
She said there'd be five more
in it for me
If I didn't tell a soul.
I guess I'm not
Going to get that.
Pregnancy test?
What would anybody here
Want with
a pregnancy test?
Corky:
is that miller?
I'll be right out.
Corky...
And miller...
Ooh!
Oh! Boy, what a night.
You know, I almost
Didn't make it back.
Hey, it looks like you guys had
a pretty wild night here too.
Which one of you knuckleheads
parked the van
In the pool?
So, uh, is corky around?
(Screaming)
Miles:
you little...
You...
What's going on?
I don't know.
It looks really good, huh?
But I really got to use
the bathroom.
Don't do anything gory
Till I get back.
I've been waiting to
shave all morning! Ha!
I'm back! I'm back!
I finally made it!
What is going on, miles?
No, really.
I'm safe.
Don't you play coy
with me.
No need to worry
about frank fontana.
Did you get the conditioner?
Here we go.
It's all soggy...
I'm sorry. It must have
got a little wet
While I was trying
not to die!
I'm waiting, miles.
You know what
this is about.
The guy from the motel
told me the blonde lady
Asked him to get her
a pregnancy test.
What?!
Murph, I think
miles thinks
Corky wanted
a pregnancy test.
Maybe you want to say
something about that?
For shame!
This is crazy!
I didn't ask for
any pregnancy test.
Miller and I haven't
even slept together.
Sure we did.
Don't you remember?
It was on a beach.
It was you and me
and cindy crawford, and...
Oh, wait, that was...
Something else.
So, the pregnancy test
wasn't for you?
No!
But the guy said
it was for the blonde lady
And there's no other
blonde lady here except...
Oh! Oh, it was for murphy!
It was for murphy.
It was r murphy!
How about this weather
we're having?
Oh, my god, you're pregnant?
It can't be! Not again!
How long do your eggs live?
Really, murphy.
Last time it was a miracle.
This time
you're just a freak!
I didn't tell you
because I didn't know for sure
So I would really appreciate it
If you would stop making
such a big deal about this
And just forget about it
and go on with our lives.
Peter!
You're not going
to believe this.
The network said our
correspondent down here got sick
And asked me if I wouldn't mind
filling... Filling in.
How many people
you got sleeping here?
Six... Or seven
Depending on when you think
life actually begins.
Frank!
Okay, what did I miss?
Actually, it more like
something murphy missed.
All right...
Everybody over to that side
of the room now.
Not you.
Um...
I don't know how you're
going to feel about this
But, um... You see...
The possibility is that
I might be pregnant.
Jim:
sweet mother of pearl!
There's no hot water
And someone used my razor
to shave their legs.
Oh, the bathroom's free.
I'll be right back.
No, no. Wait a second.
Murphy...
Welcome to my hell.
Wow.
Oh... Oh, wow.
You never know how you're going
to react to something like this
Until it happens to you,
you know?
Wow.
Hey... That's pretty much
how I'd react.
Right, frank,
except there'd be
This big old cutout
of your body
Where you ran
right through the door.
Peter, I just want you to know
I'm behind you %
Unless, of course
You hurt murphy,
in which case
So help me, you'll have
to answer to... Murphy.
Have I missed something?
Happens to me
all the time.
Okay, you can all relax.
I'm not pregnant.
What?
The stick is pink,
the rabbit lived
The oven is without bun.
Close one, huh?
Don't you ever do this
to me again.
Oh, excuse me. I won't
go feeling nauseous.
What else could make me
feel that way?
Oh, gee, I don't know.
Maybe it has something to do
with the two dozen candy bars
You sucked down
last night.
Hey, there.
Well, I got some terrible news.
Orville's market,
a beloved local institution
For nearly three quarters
of a century
Just washed away
in the rising current.
On a brighter note
There's fresh produce
all over the highway.
There's food?
Let's go, guys.
Miles:
first we eat, and then we work.
(Door slams)
Whew!
It's a big relief, huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm starving.
We better go get
some of that produce
Before all the good stuff
is gone.
Murphy, let's get married.
Excuse me?
You and me, let's do it.
Let's... Let's get married.
Whoa. Now you want
to get married?
Where were you
five minutes ago
When I was alone
and pregnant?
No, no, now, look.
I'm serious.
When I thought
you were pregnant
I got this picture
in my head
Of us and avery
and being a family, and...
It seemed really right.
So why not do it anyway?
Murphy...
Will you marry me?
I... I don't know
what to say.
Okay. I...
It's just a crazy idea.
I don't know what
I was thinking anyway.
Come on, what do you say
We go get some
of that produce now, huh?
Yes.
"Yes" to the... The produce
Or "yes" to the...
The other thing?
Both.