04x12 - The Judy Cohen Story

[bunniefuu]

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime You meet a payment ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime You feel free ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you're
Out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Scratching And surviving ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Hanging in A chow line ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪

Wait, wait.

No, no, no. No, look.

One, two. A-one,
two, three, and...

ALL: ♪ Just let me love
you Oh, sweet baby ♪

No, hold it.

Hold it! Hold it!

Hey.

There is no line in my song that
goes, "Baby, baby, baby, baby."

It's, "Baby, baby, baby."

Yeah, and not only that,

you've got the
steps all backwards.

Now, I keep telling you.
Please, one more time.

Now, it's like this.

One, two, three.

Hit it. Baby, baby, baby.

And one, two, three.

Hit it. Baby, baby, baby.

Together.

One, two, three. Hit it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hold it, hold it, hold it here.

Time out, time out, time out.

Now, I'm the manager
of this here group.

That's how come
you all get 10% each,

and I gets 95%.

So if anybody's going to

tell them what to do,

I'm going to tell
them what to do.

Group, listen to
Thelma and Willona.

That is what we call

in the entertainment
field, "managering."

Hey, J.J., man, can
we take a break?

We've been rehearsing for hours.

Yeah, it's a good thing

you got that
contest tonight, man,

because I was getting
ready to dump this group.

Hey, J.J. Man, are you sure

that the winner of
this contest gets $150?

Hey, brother,

does Reverend Ike have wheels?

J.J., sure would be
nice to win that money.

Hey, look here, Michael.

$150 ain't nothing but
a little chump change.

See, this gig tonight

could be our launching
pad to stardom.

To limousines and private jets.

Hey, concerts at
Madison Square Gardens.

Sequined tuxedoes.

150,000 groupies
tearing off my clothes.

And my first gold record.

Ooh! Ooh!

Headlining in Las
Vegas. You hear that?

150,000 groupies
tearing off my clothes.

THELMA: Hi, Ma.
MICHAEL: Hey, Ma.

Hi, Mrs. Evans. Hi, kids.

Hi, Willona.

WILLONA: How are you doing?

Hey, from all the
enthusiasm around here,

I'd say things are looking good.

Hey, they're looking
better than good, Ma.

You're talking about our
ticket out of the ghetto.

J.J., how do you expect
to get out of the ghetto

on one talent contest?

Well, through the
sheer brilliance

of my ebony genius management.

After tonight's contest, it's
going to be goodbye ghetto,

hello Hollywood.

Yeah, I can just see myself

lying around the
pool in my bikini

getting a suntan.

Yeah, and if you
run out of Kool-Aid,

I'll have my
chauffeur motor over

in my gold-plated Rolls Royce.

Oh, J.J., don't you think

you're being a
little unrealistic?

You're lying around in
a bikini getting a suntan,

and you say he's
being unrealistic?

Watch it, Willona.

Kids, I don't want to
put a damper on things,

but just don't get your
hopes up too high.

Ma, with a group like this,

you can never get
your hopes up too high.

Matter of fact, I'll have
them run through it

one more time, just for you.

Whoo! Come on, Ma.

Well, if they can sing
anything like they eat,

this g*ng is going to
be on top of the charts.

Okay, a-one, two,
a-one, two, three, go.

♪ Ooh, baby Do
you want to do it ♪

♪ Do you want To fall in love ♪

♪ Ooh, baby Do
you want to do it ♪

♪ Do you want To fall in love ♪

♪ Just let me love
you Oh, sweet baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby Baby ♪

♪ Let's give our
new romance A try ♪

♪ Doo-wah ♪

♪ I'll give you so much
Sweet tender loving ♪

♪ And we'll never ♪

♪ Ever ♪

♪ No, we'll never,
ever Say goodbye ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Ooh, baby Do
you want to do it ♪

♪ Do you want to fall in love ♪

♪ Ooh, baby You
and me have found it ♪

♪ Underneath The stars above ♪

♪ Just let me love
you Oh, sweet baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby Baby ♪

♪ Let's give our
love A better try ♪

♪ Doo-wah ♪

♪ I'll give you so much
Sweet tender loving ♪

♪ A-kissin' and a-huggin'
Lots of turtledovin' ♪

♪ Baby, baby, you're so fine ♪

♪ Got my arms around you ♪

♪ Oh, so glad I found you ♪

♪ Baby Want to make you mine ♪

♪ Just let me love
you Oh, sweet baby ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Let's give our new
romance A try ♪♪

Great.

Oh.

Like Reverend Ike says,

how can we lose,
with the stuff we use?

[ALL CHEER]

Well, well, well,

let's go down to
the talent contest

and sign up.

All right!

♪ Baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby ♪

It's not... ♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

It's... ♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪♪

[HUMMING CHORUS]

Good luck. Good luck.

I know you'll do
good. I know it.

Thelma, they are
moving real good.

Thank you, Ma. Oh!

And, Willona... Mm?

Girl, that song is out of sight.

Where did you get the idea?

Well, you know how
in the laundry room

none of the machines
have the same rhythm?

The one on the right goes...

[BEATBOXING IN MID-RANGE]

The one in the left goes...

[BEATBOXING IN BASS RANGE]

And the one in
the middle goes...

[BEATBOXING IN HIGH REGISTER]

♪ ...Eh! ♪♪

And that's where
you got the idea, huh?

No, it was too noisy down there,

so I went to my apartment
and wrote the tune.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, what are we gonna
wear to the contest tonight?

Oh, girls, that is
a problem for me.

I don't know whether to wear

my Gucci, my Pucci, or my Nucci.

Ma, what's a Nucci?

A dress I borrowed
from Ella-Mae Nucci.

[ALL LAUGH]

Where is this contest gonna be?

Oh, it's at a place called
the... the Blue Frog.

Yeah, it's a new bar
they opened in the loop.

A bar?

Did I say something wrong?

Oh, there is no way

I'm gonna let Michael
sing in a nightclub.

Oh, now, both of you

should know better than that.

Wait!

Willona, you said
something wrong.

Well, well, well.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well, take a look around, g*ng,

because the Blue Frog is gonna

turn into our golden goose.

Moving on.

Excuse me, miss.
Are you in line?

Are you kidding?

I am the line.

No, but if you want to,

you can go ahead of me,
because everybody does.

Hey, that's not fair.
You were here first.

No, look.

I'm know I'm gonna lose,

so I might as well stall it

as long as possible, right?

So go ahead. Go ahead.

All right.

Okay, uh, who's next?

Forget about the rest,

because you're
looking at the best.

Presenting the winners

of the talent contest tonight...

Michael and the Dy-No-Mites.

Okay, all you guys over 18?

It is to laugh.

It is to ask. What
about the little guy here?

Oh, him?

He's only 15,

and he's coming with his mama.

Is she kidding? Who is she?

Uh, see, this is another one

of my acts here.

One of the funniest
comedians of all time.

Say something else funny.

If Michael isn't on
his way out of here

by the time I count to three,

he won't be able to
sit down for a month.

That's funny enough
for me, Ma. Really funny.

J.J., I'll see you at home.

You know Michael is too young

to work in a nightclub.

What?

Are you trying to get
my club closed down?

Well, er, uh...

J.J., man, you ain't
nothing but a jive turkey.

Hey, man, look. We quit.

Now, you can keep
your "baby, baby, babies,"

and you know what you can do

with your "doo-wahs."

Hey, wait a minute, g*ng!

What about our gold
records? Boo! Boo!

Sequined tuxedoes?

150,000 groupies
tearing off my clothes?

[GRUMBLES]

Welcome to the losers' table.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm Judith Cohen.

I hope to be a singer.

I'm J.J. Evans.

I used to be a manager.

You're feeling bad, huh?

Well, I know that feeling.

The day I was born, it rained,

and it's been
downhill ever since.

You really have
a bummer attitude.

I'm a realist.

I mean, look at me.

Well, if you feel that way,

why do you want to
be in show business?

Well, they took away
my longshoreman's card.

See, if you want to make it

in this business,

you got to have a
more positive attitude,

you see? Like me.

Now, see, I know
I'm a great manager,

and will be the greatest.

If I had someone like you,

then things would be different.

So... you say you sing, huh?

Well, I open my mouth
and something happens.

That's exactly what
happens with Aretha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Yeah.

I'm a manager without a group.

Well, I'm a group
without a manager.

Well... to a fantastic future.

Tell me a little bit
more about yourself.

Well, my last job,
I was a balloon

in the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day parade.

Well, that's a good start.

There ain't no place
we can go but up.

[SIGHING] I'm sure
I did the right thing.

Still, I just can't help
feeling a little guilty.

Flo, you've got nothing
to feel guilty about.

You did what you had to do.

J.J. understands.
Thelma understands.

Michael's outside
playing basketball,

so you know he understands.

And you?

I understand.

I understand I blew
my gold record. Pow.

Hey, everybody!

Don't tear up those tickets.

Our train out of the ghetto

is still chugging
down the track,

on schedule.

J.J., what are
you talking about?

I want you all to meet

the future winner of
tonight's talent contest.

Presenting for y'all,

the singing sensation
of the decade...

Everybody, this is Judith Cohen.

Judith, this is my sister, the
choreographer of the group,

Thelma.

Hi. Hi.

And this is our best friend,

songwriter for the
now-defunct Dy-No-Mites,

Willona Woods.

Nice to meet you.

And, of course,

you remember my
mother, the defuncterer.

Hello, Judith.

Nice to meet you. Same here.

Well, it's really nice
to meet you, Judith.

Why?

Uh, see, you got to
understand Judith.

She has a little lack
of confidence, see,

so I'm loaning
her a little of mine

to pick up the slack.

So, uh, just make
yourself comfortable.

Yeah. Yes, do please sit.

Thanks.

So... J.J. is planning
to manage your career?

I'm telling you, Ma,

you got to hear
this young lady sing.

I tell you, we've
hitched our wagon

to a star.

You hitched your
wagon to a wagon.

Oh, come on, Judy.

You don't have to
have a great figure

to be a star these days.

Look at Kate Smith.

Oh, I envy her
shape. She's so...

Well, Judy, honey,

since J.J. has so
much confidence in you,

have I got a song for you.

Ooh, and have I
got choreography.

Can you move?

Can I move?

Well, I run up to the
microphone, you know,

and I make a dead stop.

Well, my feet, they
stay where they are,

but the rest of me
just keeps on moving.

Well, Judy, you know, you
got to have hopes, you know?

Oh, well, I used to hope

that I could be paid
a dollar a pound,

but then I met J.J.,
and he believes in me.

You know, that's a lot more
than I can say for myself.

Well, Judy, I hope everything
is gonna turn out all right,

but you know, show
business is hard,

and I just don't know exactly
what J.J. can do for you.

Oh, yeah?

I'll show you what I can do.

Talking to one of
the top managers

in the business here.

I'll get right on the case.

I'm a full-service agency.

Hello. Chez Pierre?

Yeah, let me speak to the owner.

Watch this top managerial move.

Hello, Mr. Chez?

Yeah, this is James
Evans, Jr., the third, Esquire.

J.J.

Look here, man.

I think you ought to
do yourself a favor

and make a hop, skip, and a
jump down to the Blue Frog tonight.

Yeah.

I got the singing sensation
of the nation down there.

Yeah.

You've heard of Aretha Franklin?

Diana Ross?

Natalie Cole?

Well, tonight, I proudly
present Miss Judith Cohen,

the Great White Hope.

Hey, Judith.

Now, now, now, just relax.

You're gonna k*ll 'em.

You ain't got nothing
to be nervous about.

Well, I'm not nervous,

but will you look who
one of the judges is?

Who?

Jack Simmons.

Who?

Jack Simmons.

He's agent for
all the big stars.

Oh, yeah, Jack, my main man.

[APPLAUSE]

Well, here we go.

I'm gonna introduce you.

Yes, yes, yes.

[CACKLES]

Ladies and gentlemen,
brothers and sisters,

every once in a while
in the annals of showbiz,

there comes a singer

of a fine lyriolotist,
fine versiolity.

We happen to be present
on one of these occasions

when a great millennium
has taken place, and...

The final contestant,
ladies and gentlemen,

Judith Cohen.

[APPLAUSE]

♪ Be a clown Be a clown ♪

♪ All the world Loves a clown ♪

♪ Oh, act the
fool Play the calf ♪

♪ And you'll always
Have the last laugh ♪

♪ Oh, wear your
cap And your bells ♪

♪ And you'll rate With
all the great swells ♪

♪ If you become a doctor ♪

♪ Folks will face
you With dread ♪

♪ And if you become a dentist ♪

♪ They'll be glad
When you're dead ♪

♪ You'll get a bigger hand ♪

♪ Because you can
stand On your head ♪

♪ Be a clown, be a
clown Be a clown ♪

[TEMPO SLOWS]

♪ Isn't it rich? ♪

♪ And are we... a pair? ♪

♪ Me here, at last
On the ground ♪

♪ And you, in mid-air ♪

♪ Send in the clowns ♪

♪ Quick ♪

♪ Send in... the clowns ♪

♪ And isn't it rich? ♪

♪ And isn't it q*eer? ♪

♪ Losing my timing ♪

♪ This late in my career ♪

♪ But where are the clowns? ♪

♪ Oh, we have to have clowns ♪

No.

♪ Don't bother ♪

♪ I'm... here ♪

♪ Me... a... a clown ♪

[TEMPO QUICKENS]

♪ Sure, be a clown, everybody ♪

♪ You know why ♪

♪ All the world And
everybody in it ♪

♪ They love a clown ♪

♪ You act the fool ♪

♪ And you play the calf ♪

♪ But, hell, you always
Have the last laugh ♪

♪ So wear your
cap And your bells ♪

♪ And you'll rate With
all the great swells ♪

♪ If you become a farmer ♪

♪ You've the weather to buck ♪

♪ And if you become a gambler ♪

♪ Honey, you're
stuck With your luck ♪

♪ But Jack, you'll never lack ♪

♪ 'Cause you can quack,
quack Quack like a duck ♪

♪ Be a clown, be a clown ♪

♪ Be a clown, be a
clown Be a clown ♪

♪ Be a clown... ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪♪

Whoo! Whoo!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[WHISTLING]

Thank you!

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have your
attention, please?

The winner is... [DRUM ROLLING]

[CYMBAL CRASHES]

Miss Judith Cohen!

[SCREAMING]

[APPLAUSE, WHISTLING]

J.J... J.J.!

[CHEERING]

Excuse me, Judith,

but I'm Marty Mitchell
from the Chez Pierre.

Oh, uh, do you
mind pardoning us?

This is a high-level
business conference here.

Uh, hey, there, Marty, baby.

I'm Judith's manager.

Didn't I tell you she was great?

She's sensational.

Hey, listen, next
week's opening act

canceled out,

and I'd like Judith to fill in.

Really? Oh!

Wow! A week at the Chez Pierre!

[CACKLES]

Wait a minute, there.

Got to see if we can
work this thing out here.

We can work it out.

Great!

Hey, Jack, how are you?

Marty, how are you?
Fine, uh, sit down, Marty.

I'm gonna buy
you a drink. Right.

Pardon me. Judith...

Judith, my name is Jack Simmons,
and I'd like to represent you.

You're gonna go places.

Sounds good to me, Jackie, baby.

Just take a walk.

Wait a minute!
That's my manager.

Oh.

Who?

Me.

I'm James Evans, Jr., but
you can call me J.J., baby.

[LAUGHING]

This skinny little kid?

Judith, what can he get you,

a gig in a rib joint?

This skinny little kid got me

a week's engagement
at the Chez Pierre.

Wasn't nothing, Jack.

Chez Pierre?

Lots of luck, kid.

All right.

Man, who's that turkey
think he is, anyway?

Ain't nothing but a
little gobble-gobble.

All right now, here.

Hey, g*ng. Great news!

I got Judy a week
at the Chez Pierre.

Yeah. J.J.!

Yeah, now, we all
gonna go celebrate.

Kool-Aid is on me.

All right!

Uh, could I have
a word with you?

Sure. Sure.

Another high-level
business confab.

I'm afraid you're
gonna have to forget

about the Chez
Pierre engagement.

What?

I'm sorry, kid,

but Simmons wants Judith Cohen.

If I book her,

I'll never get another
one of his acts.

You don't need
another one of his acts.

You'll have Judith.

It won't work.

Oh, hey. We don't
need the Chez Pierre.

I can always take her
to the Night Owl Room.

Simmons has got
that locked up too.

He ain't got every room in town.

I'll take her to
The Mayfair Room.

Simmons.

The Blue Night?

J.J., let me give
you a little tip.

Simmons's got a lot
of power in this town.

Got an awful lot of muscle.

If he doesn't sign Judith
Cohen, she'll never work again.

I'm really sorry, kid.

When things happen,
well, they happen.

Hey, what's going on, J.J.?

Hey, Judy, uh...

I was just talking
over your career

with Marty over there,

and, uh... we made a decision.

We think that you should
go with Jack Simmons.

Oh, come on, J.J.

It's you and me
working together.

Hey, Judy, this is
a great opportunity.

Now, take it.

Now, look, J.J.,
you're my manager.

It's you and me together.

Judy, the name of this business
is to keep on keeping on.

Now, this is a
great opportunity.

Go over there
and talk to the man.

But, J.J...

Judith, go over there with Jack.

Well, g*ng. Let's go!

All right.

J.J., where's Judy?

You said we were
going out and celebrate.

Uh, I dumped her.

You what?

Honey, what are
you talking about?

Hey, come on, let's go.

I found her and I dumped her.

You know, let's go. Come on.

Now, performers like Judy Cohen
are like streetcars, you know?

If you miss one...

another one will
be along in about...

a hundred years.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO PLAYING]

♪ Mmm... ♪

♪ Just looking
Out of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good Times ♪♪