05x17 - Alarmed

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "CHiPs". Aired: September 15, 1977 - May 1, 1983.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Series follows the lives of two motorcycle officers of the California Highway Patrol.
Post Reply

05x17 - Alarmed

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, check out
that four-wheeler's

push bar over the wench.

But you got a push bar.

Yeah, but mine's a bolt-on.

It's always rusting.

That's a custom,
welded and triple-chromed.

Jon, you're caught
in the old trap.

Extending your
personality to your truck.

Using it to make statements.

Me?

How about that eight-speaker

glass-breaking
stereo in your car?

Hey, man, I'm just telling
the world I'm a lover.

- A music lover.
- Oh!

'There's the mayor's limo.'

- I don't get it.
- Me, neither.

We just get it in
a briefing and here it is.

Only a few blocks
from its garage.

- Hasn't even been stripped.
- Whoa! Don't touch it.

The expert that installed
the alarm system wants it first.

This has got to be
embarrassing, man.

Imagine...you rig a special

super-secret alarm
system for the mayor

and somebody snatches the car
just before you lecture

the CHP on
preventing car thefts.

Sweeney has pride
in what he does.

He has a reputation
of being the best.

Yeah, well, right now
he's only second best.

Okay, just the way I taught you.

- Okay.
- Yes, ma'am.

Guys! That's my car!

They're stealing my car!

Come on, we'll chase them.

'Hurry up!'

Hi, I'm Carol Sweeney.

Hi, uh,
Frank Poncherello, Jon Baker.

My dad takes things
like this personally.

What, dad?

Somebody must have
bypassed the alarm system

ignition cut-off.

Brought the car down here..

...and then
reset all the alarms.

Can I ask you,
why would anybody

wanna do something like that?

Hey, uh, that's my corvette!

We'll follow you!

They stole my car!

Alright. You'll have to
get back in the car, please.

- Get back.
- Come on.

Come on.
You got to put that over there.

'LA 15, Mary 4,
we have a multiple'

'11-83 northbound
405 and Sunset.'

Roll in an 11-41
and an 11-42 and a fire rig.

'10-4, an 11-41 and an 11-42
and a fire rig en route.'

We're the cause of all this?

If the guy would have
kept his eyes on the road

this wouldn't have happened.
But luckily no one's hurt.

May I see your
driver's license, please?

You should carry your
license on your person.

Hmm-mm.

When possible.

LA 15, 7 Charles, in pursuit
of reported stolen vehicle

North on Culvert.

'10-4, 7 Charles.'

Move it along, please.

Come on, move it!

- Toni?
- Bonnie.

I'm on a case
following that van.

I'll get back to you later.

Okay.

Alright.

Look, I got a demonstration
in a couple of minutes, honey.

Now, please stay out
of the way, will you?

I thought I was helping you out.

Well, this is a one man job
and I don't want to discuss it.

I think your dad's
upset about the limo.

No.

When my dad says "one man,"
he means...one man.

Well, he's got a point.

You know, too many people
following a circuit..

Forget it, Harlan.

Ten percent of all the vehicles
stolen in The United States

are heisted right here
in Southern California.

Hey, guys, my cousin's
in from Chicago.

I didn't plan anything.
You got any ideas?

We're going to a club.

Yeah, why don't
you come along?

I want allmy officers

able to spot vehicles
that have been tampered with

and current on
anti-theft devices.

An owner of a local
alarm company has set up

a demonstration car
near the motor stalls.

He'll be here
for a couple of days

so learn as much as you can.

Okay, that's it.

You got a minute?

Yeah, always.

Uh, do you remember
my pursuit yesterday?

Yeah.

Well.

A van boxed me in
at the light

and the car got away.

I went to check
the van's driver

and it was someone
that I knew, Toni Sykes

a CHP officer who I haven't
even seen in a year or so.

We went to the academy together.

She said she was
working on something

and I assumed
it was undercover..

...so I let her go.

Mm-hmm.

I followed it up.

She left the CHP
eight months ago

under suspicious circumstances.

And you think maybe
that she, uh--

She's into grand theft auto..

...and I let her go.

Boy, did she make
a fool out of me!

- Using your friendship?
- Exactly!

- Hmm-mm.
- And she was my friend!

- Hmm-mm.
- Huh! I used to look up to her.

- Now..
- And now you wanna know why.

And if I'm right, I want
to put her out of business.

Okay, the van's plates
were altered. I know, Toni.

If she's involved,
it's not a penny-ante thing.

It just might be worth
a little time investigating.

- What do you think?
- Hey, go to it.

Oh, Joe, you always
have the right answers.

Now, this alarm has
got a seismic sensor.

You rock this car..

...nothing happens.

But if you as*ault
this car in any way..

Excuse me.

This steering wheel
brake pedal bar

is one of the least
effective items on the market.

'The thief is only too happy
to hacksaw through this shaft.'

'Or he'll even cut
through the steering wheel.'

I use one of those on my truck.

I don't even have that.

Now, you got to remember..

...that a car thief
is very lazy.

If he spots a car with an alarm

he'll move on
to easier pickings.

Unless he wants
that particular car.

In that case, he's
probably technically oriented

and deterrents like this

fender key lock won't help much.

Most of these are out of order..

...or phonies.

If you think a car
is wired, take a hike.

Find another one.
It's just that simple.

We do not want trouble.

I guess we messed up
on the last one, huh?

You kicked the engine
when you started it.

That got the owner's attention.

Right.

Don't worry about it.
You're going to be fine.

Now, look...we're
gonna meet back here

after dinner and bundle up.

We're going to do
some night work.

Oh, yeah?

I got a call for four-wheelers.

Blazers, scouts, scramblers.

The fancier the better.

Toni, how did you shake
that cop that stopped you?

She turned out to
be an old friend.

- That helps.
- Yeah.

Earth calling Bonnie,
come in, please.

Uh!

I'm just trying
to dream up a way

to put a little
pressure on Toni Sykes.

- She's this ex-cop I knew.
- Yeah, we heard.

Well, Getraer gave
me the green light

but I'm stumped at
the best way to pull it off.

Uh, she knows you don't
have enough for a warrant

so she is sitting pretty.

And she probably doesn't
want any extra attention

'so why don't you
give her some?'

Ask a lot of questions?

A lot of questions.

Create some street heat!

- She wouldn't like that.
- Exactly.

Got any answers?

Oh, I don't know
how it was stolen

anymore than you know why.

But...I can assure the mayor
that it won't happen again.

I'm sure he'll appreciate that.

Oh, you young guys.

You really think Sweeney
was bamboozled, do you?

That'll be the day.

Yesterday's incident
was a pure fluke.

Some random car popper
got lucky, that's all.

I, I don't even know how or why.

Sunspots
or atmospheric conditions

or the Russians
anything can happen once.

Hey, don't worry.
We're not telling it around.

You can tell anybody you want.

But, I'll just tell you that
when a pro looks at this car

he can tell that it's wired.
He can smell it.

But, what he
doesn't know is that

I'm always one
step ahead of him.

You see, I know
that he knows that the only way

he can violate my circuitry,
is at its weakest link.

But what he doesn't know
that I've supplied him

with several
irresistible weak links

that are just begging
to be tampered with.

And when he does, he's gonna
find that he's been had.

I defeat him with psychology.

Now, you guys
are gonna love this.

This is a security transmitter.

I press this button..

...now that system is armed.

The only way you're gonna
move that car is with a skyhook.

You want to try that door?
Go ahead.

Now, this day and age..

...nobody cares about alarms.

But if they think
something's on fire

they take action.

Want me to do that for you?

What is that thing, anyway?

It's a micro synthesizer.

Right.

Honey, do you have
lunch for me today?

Ah.

- What's that?
- A micro synthesizer.

It's nothing.

It looks like
a complicated nothing.

Well, I've been doing
these since junior high.

Listen, don't you have
a ballet class

or something about now?

- Basketball practice.
- Basketball practice.

Bye, everybody.

Same old tomboy stuff.

I thought going to
that junior college

would make her snap out of it.

Maybe she's got too much
of the old man's talent.

It wouldn't be so
bad if she wanted

to take care of the books
and run the office.

But, wires and pliers
and dirty fingernails?

That's not fit for a young lady.

It sounds like the young lady
has a different opinion.

Oh, maybe she's just
going through a stage.

It'll pass.

- I'll catch you later.
- Yeah.

We're set to go
here at Chippendale's

so Kim and Denise
start wrestling!

This is a dirty business
out there in the mud.

You guys think this looks easy?

Well, you're wrong.

Denise moves in, and..

Oh, an over-body
backflip takedown by Denise!

'Come on, give these
girls a big hand.'

'Do you think this is easy?'

'You bet it isn't easy.'

This is dirty, this is tough.

This is mud wrestling.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

That's okay.
We just got here.

Jon, this is my cousin Tom.

- Hi, how you doing?
- Hi, Tom.

Come on, let's go in.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hey, hi!

- Anything on my car yet?
- Not yet. Sorry.

We'll be free in ten minutes so
we can leave whenever you want.

Oh, no hurry.
We'll play it by ear.

Hey, follow me.
I got a greatplace saved.

'They need your support.
Come on, cheer 'em on!'

'There's some more..
Oh, another back-over flip.'

'You out there wondering why
they're so slippery and slimy.'

'It's because we're not
using just ordinary mud.'

'This is special Chippendale's
imported mud-wrestling-mud!'

'Now, listen, guys,
they need your support.'

'Let's see some
enthusiasm out there.'

'You guys aren't
putting these ladies on.'

'We need to help.
It's a dirty wrestling match.'

'We're really, oh!
Look at those girls in the mud.'

'Is this filth?
Is this wrestling?'

'Of course, it's wrestling!'

'It's tough out there!'

I'm sorry about this.
I had no idea.

Hey-hey, no problem.

'You guys think
you'd like to get in there?'

'Who wants to get in
there with these girls'

'and wrestle in the mud?'

'The mud is really
flying out there.'

'Kim goes back in
for a headlock takedown'

'and she's got control.
Wait, there's an escape.'

You don't like it?

I think it's vulgar,
demeaning and debasing.

What'd Bonnie say?

She thinks the wrestling

is vulgar, debasing, and--

- Demeaning!
- Demeaning.

'Kim and Denise, who can tell'

'which is Kim
and which is Denise?'

Let's go.

What's the rush?

'Come on, you guys,
these girls need your support.'

'This is not easy.'

'This is tough.'

'Come on, you guys,
these girls need your support.'

'Let's hear it for these girls.'

'Denise goes in
for a half Nelson.'

'She's moving to a pin,
and there's another escape.'

'So, I ask you, is this mud?'

'Look at those girls
move out there, guys.'

'They need to be cheered on.'

'There's only about
a minute left to go.'

'So let's get
these girls going!'

Bonnie, I think
you're overreacting.

Well, have you ever
seen men mud wrestling?

This is the first time I've seen
any kind of mud wrestling.

I mean, honestly,
Bonnie, do you really think

it was demeaning and vulgar?

- You forgot debasing.
- Right, debasing.

Look, why don't I meet
you at the marina, okay?

Alright.

Hey, wait a minute.

I parked my truck right here.

I think my truck's been stolen.

Tough break, Jon.

Any of those
accessories covered?

Oh, only
the factory-installed equipment.

Hey, that's a $500 deductible.

I know.

- I don't know what to say, Jon.
- Thanks, Grossie.

Hey, Ponch, uh,
tonight's laundry night.

Do you think you could help me
with a little transportation?

I mean, I hate
to lean on you like this.

I'll get a car rental
as soon as I can.

Don't worry about it, partner.

It'll be a pleasure.

Aah! Jon, do you
think we could, uh

drop off the saddle on the way.

It kind of really takes up
the back seat of my car. Huh?

Sure.

Bite?

Hi.

Listen, my partner's
car was just stolen.

I'm kind of worried
about my car.

Aw, gee, that's no
way for a CHP to feel.

Uh, there's a Sweeney
system for every need.

- Let's have a look.
- Alright.

Alright, this ignition
cut-off and hood lock

keeps the thief from, uh..

...stealing it,
even if he breaks in.

Didn't I tell you
not to get involved

in this part
of the business, huh?

Involved? You talk
like I'm a stranger.

Well, I'm a Sweeney too.
And there are just two of us.

Doesn't that school give
you any homework to do?

Okay.

- We'll talk about it later.
- No, we won't!

You're not a parent.
You don't know.

Didn't I hear you say
you need a system in your car?

- Yeah.
- When can I see your car?

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow, okay.

Well, I never did
like blue trucks.

Whoa!

Think I'll...put a little
striping on it, add some decals.

Trick it up a little.

We're gonna keep
it for ourselves.

Nobody's ever
gonna recognize it.

That's right.

It's all here?
What's the new deal?

I've got a buyer for
five Mercedes Sedans.

380 SEL's and
a couple of two-doors.

That's not gonna be easy.

I need them by tomorrow night.

Thirty thousand a piece.

Cash at the dock.

You get them here,
I'll give them the treatment.

We'll take them to Long Beach
and collect their money.

I'll get them...somehow.

Alright.

Oh, and, uh...why don't you
have a little chat

with that cop friend of yours.

Word on the street is
she's asking a lot of questions.

People are getting nervous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Remember, if the heat
comes down on you..

...I get b*rned too.

Hello, Bonnie.

Well, hello, Toni.

We got something to talk about?

You're making my life
a little uncomfortable.

People are beginning to think
it's unlucky to deal with me.

How deep are you in it?

I'm exactly where I want to be.

We were, uh..

...friends once. I think
that's worth some understanding.

There are a lot of
fleas on the dog, Bonnie.

Why are you after me? Auto theft
isn't even your thing.

You know, at the academy..

...you went a little faster,
tested a little better.

I didn't even
resent it, actually.

I was kind of proud.

I thought if a woman
ever made it to commissioner

or better...it would be you.

What happened?

Nothing happened.

I'm just like a million
other single parents.

Economics keeps you counting
change and the job and kids

take more time than
you've got to give.

I woke up one day,
fresh out of illusions.

I decided I, uh..

...wanted more in my life..

...now.

Find another flea, Bonnie!

I'm dead serious
about what I'm doing.

So am I!

You haven't got a thing on me.

Stick to your traffic control.

I'm gonna close you down, Toni.

Huh! You're gonna close me down?

Forget it, kid.

You were always second best when
I was around and you still are.

You know, I used
to look up to you.

Now you're just
another felony suspect.

Too bad.

I was really kind of hoping
we could work something out.

LA 15, 7 David.

I've checked the vehicle
and there's no damage.

Looks locked,
but I'm afraid to touch it.

'Did you check the ID number?'

It's checked. It's the mayor's
vehicle, for sure.

How's it going?

Well, I've checked out this car

bumper-to-bumper,
rubber-to-roof.

It checks out clean.
It's like nobody's touched it.

Maybe you're not the only
one that knows psychology.

Oh, yeah. Go ahead, rub it in.

Everybody's been
doing that this morning.

Somebody's trying to make
a nincompoop out of me.

Humiliate me!
Everybody just loves it.

Hey, Sweeney,
we're on your side, remember?

Yeah, maybe it's a competitor
or a long-time rival.

I've been scouring
my brain all morning.

Frankly, I can't think
of anybody that's sharp enough

to even scratch my systems,
let alone cr*ck 'em!

I'm the king of the alarm trade.

At least, I thought I was.

Um!

You're not having any
trouble with my car?

Now, what's that
supposed to mean?

- I don't know.
- Uh, come on, Ponch.

The man needs
some space to work.

Dangerous out there.

No better in here.

Bet your dad's been a lot of fun
to be around this morning.

Yeah, a real bear.

Hey, go easy on the poor guy.

You know, he's under
a lot of pressure.

Then why won't he let
me make it easier for him?

Just hang in there, okay?

- He'll come around.
- Yeah, I wonder.

Hey, Ponch, we'd better
go out and meet the public.

Catch you later, Carol.

Hi.

I took your advice
and it worked.

Suddenly, Toni Sykes decides
she has to touch base.

And she wasn't very cordial?

Well, that happens with
old acquaintances sometimes.

But I did find out one thing.

She's dirty and she loves it.

Where do you go from here?

Well, I was hoping I could
turn up something connected

with any of her arrests
before she left the patrol.

Good sh*t.

Maybe because her last
case was thrown out

because of an illegal
search she made.

Now, Toni didn't make
mistakes like that.

It might have been deliberate.

Who was the suspect?

A guy named Charlie Max.

Charlie Max is a pro.

A broker for foreign buyers.

A slippery, middle man

usually between
the stealer and the buyer.

Auto theft's been trying
to pin him for years.

Then I've really hit a wall.

If she's tied up
with a guy like that

she's going to be
tougher than ever to catch.

Hey, don't be so
sure about it, Bonnie.

Sounds like you're
getting closer.

Thanks. See you guys later.

- Alright.
- Bye.

This is going to be
the biggest operation so far.

I've got an order
for five Mercedes Sedans

and they have to be ready for
shipment by tomorrow morning.

So we're gonna get
them all tonight.

And it's gonna be
a piece of cake.

What are these?

Courtesy of red light
valet parking.

Who's that?

That's us.

I'm going to scout a party.
See you later.

- Well, okay.
- Yeah.

I'm signing up
for the car rental.

I'll meet you at Central
at the shift break.

What's the violation, officer?

Stay where you are.
I'll be right back.

'LA 15, Mary 4'

I need a 29 on cal..

Mary 4 in pursuit,
Eastbound Simi Freeway

at De Soto, request backup.

'Position Mary 4, in pursuit.'

'Eastbound Simi Freeway
at De Soto. Request backup.'

'7 Adam responding,
Southbound from Venice.'

Breaking off the chase!
Bike's on fire!

- Ponch, dump the bike.
- Can't slow up!

The flames will get the t*nk!

Ponch, take the Balboa off-ramp
and head for the lake.

She knew she was had
when she gave me her phony ID.

Yeah, she thinks like a cop.

That's what makes her
so dangerous, Bonnie.

That's why I wanna bring
her down more than ever.

That's fine with me, lady.

Oh! You know you did get wet.

You'd better go home
and take a nice hot bath.

- Yeah, I'd better.
- Oh!

- I'll see you later.
- Alright.

Hi.

I'm glad things
are lightening up around here.

- Done in a minute.
- Oh, take your time, no rush.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

It's bad enough
that my professional reputation

has gone to the dogs.

A half hour ago I got
a call from the counselor

at Carol's junior college
asking where she was.

Suddenly, I find out
that miss junior mechanic

has dropped out of school.

You talked to her about it?
What's her side?

Oh, come on, please.

Save diplomacy for the asphalt.

Now, here's the key.
Take a look.

- Now, you see this?
- Hmm-mm.

When the key's
at the 6 o'clock

12 o'clock position,
the alarm is on.

'Now, most alarm's are activated
in the three-nine position.'

That way the turkey thinks,
it's on when it's off

and off when it's on.

Psychology.

Don't get funny.

What's your address?

What?
Oh, uh, 1170 Marina place.

Thank you.

Now your car is absolutely safe.

You can sleep tight.

That's what he said
to the mayor.

That's it!
Ha ha, number five.

Get out of those
uniforms, girls.

- We did it.
- Perfect.

I got them all.
When's the pickup?

See you in the morning.

Thought you weren't
going to make it.

'My own daughter.'

How could you do this?

The mayor's limo, no less.

I don't know anymore.

Well, I don't know, Sweeney,
it seems simple enough to me.

Communication breakdown.
You know, broken circuit.

Carol and I have
a good relationship.

Is that why she tried
to get your attention

through grand theft auto?

I see. She heists the cars
and I'm the bad guy, huh?

She didn't want to
steal them so much

as show you she could do it.

- I know she could do it!
- And you hate it!

- Carol!
- No, I'm not gonna shut up!

You've got to hear me out!

Listen, why don't
you sit down here

and have a fresh cup of coffee?

Dad!

Ever since I was
a little, little girl

you've had my whole life
all scoped out for me.

I thought I was doing right.

Al-alright, okay.

Alright, go ahead,
I'm all ears, go ahead.

- Here, you go.
- No, thanks.

Well, I know
you've always done

what's best for me,
but it's my life.

And I'm gonna do what
I want, even if it doesn't fit

what you think is ladylike.

Alright, is it
my turn to talk now?

'Dad!'

Just..

Just look at
it this way, okay?

You're not losing a young lady.

You're gaining
a business partner.

She got that scheming
mind from me, you know.

Come on, over here.

We got a lot to talk about.

Okay.

Hang a little plastic
around the fenders.

Throw some dust on it.

When we load it on the trailer..

...looks fresh from overseas.

Instant camouflage.

Alright.

'Look at that,
just off the boat.'

Somebody's gonna put down
some heavy bucks for that.

Yeah, it doesn't seem right.

Well, the rich have got to
do something with their money.

No, not that.

If they're just off
the boat, how come they're

headed back to the docks?

Doesn't our friend
Charlie Max always like

to alter stolen
cars' appearance?

Now, let's hang back
and check it out.

- Bonnie.
- Yeah.

Uh, Baker and Poncherello
picked up a couple of

Charlie Max's altered
Mercedes-Benz's.

They followed them to
a drop-off point at the dock

then tailed them back
to Toni Sykes' hideout.

Auto theft
is gonna drop the net

in the next trip
and you're invited.

I'm already gone.

- How'd it go?
- Okay.

Come on, ladies, we got two
more to load up. Let's go, huh?

Well, take the seat belt
and put it back in its casing.

I think these
stickers are alright.

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it!

Hold it!

Hold it!

Personally, I think
mud wrestling is vulgar.

Debasing.

Demeaning.

Give me a hand, guys.

Ugh!

Sorry!
Post Reply