01x02 - Scion

[bunniefuu]

What's his real name again?

- Charlie.
- Charlie, Charlie right.

Hi, Charlie.

Oh, she's putting a hat on him.
She's putting a hat.

We have to put on a hat,

we have to put on a hat,
it's not gonna match.

Do you have a hat?
Put him in the hat.

There we go.

Oh, it's just a...

It's just a hat, you're okay.

Okay.
Wait till she clears the room.

Okay, go, she's clear.
Go, go, go, now, now, now.

Now.

And we're out.

- Hi. Yeah.
- Okay. Oh, you are a sweetheart.

All right, thank you everyone.
Great work.

Most people say
that nothing can prepare you

for becoming a parent.

But most people don't have
the resources

to hire dozens of child actors

to create around the clock
simulation of parenthood.

To raise a child from zero to 18
over the course of two months

before deciding if you want
to have one yourself.

That's the rehearsal
I'm giving Angela,

a 44-year-old woman

who has chronically
put off having children

because the circumstances
have never been quite right.

I'd like it' to happen in...
Within the right context.

Which is what?

In a marriage, with a man.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, that makes sense.
- With the love of my life.

And is... Do you have
that person in your life

right now or...

- No, I don't.
- Okay.

Yeah.

My challenge

was simulating
the future life circumstances

she envisioned for herself
if she were to become a mother.

Are you seeing anyone you like?

- No.
- What about him?

Just a little out of shape,
maybe.

Mm-hmm. What about him?

- His outfit, it's too serious.
- Uh-huh.

And Angela was very particular.

I think I'll bring
this air purifier too.

So we had to relocate
her from her studio apartment

to a rented house
in rural Oregon

because she didn't want to raise
a kid in the city.

We'd probably have a house
with a couple of acres,

with food and animals.
We'd probably be online,

but we'd also have access
to go off the grid

because infant skulls
have not fully formed,

so they absorb
wireless radiation

a lot more than we do
into their brains.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

But her fears made sense
to me.

It's scary to imagine raising
a child when you always know

that a single misstep
on your part

could ruin their entire life.

Angela's rehearsal began
with a simulated adoption

just like she envisioned.

Where I had the baby's
real mother give him away.

- Hi.
- Yeah. This is for the best.

He's better off with you
than with me, so...

Thank you.

Maybe you can elaborate a bit

on why you're not suited
to be a mom.

Yeah, I'm in school full time
and...

- Yeah.
- ...he just needs

- a complete home, so...
- I can give him that.

I tried to make
every detail of the experience

as realistic as possible.

Is this, um...

something you would normally,
like, hand off or anything,

- this situation?
- No... I've never done that,

- I don't think.
- Oh, okay.

Angela already
had a name in mind for her baby.

I think I've decided on Adam.

- He likes it.
- Why Adam, what...

I knew a guy named Adam
and he was, you know...

It's just... It's...
Adam is a strong name.

- Like, Adam.
- Adam?

- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.

Each week Adam will grow
three years, and for each age

multiple child actors
will be needed

in order to comply
with Oregon state labor laws

that limit the number of hours
a child can work.

With babies capped at four hours

it requires multiple switches
each day,

which I tried to make
as seamless as possible

to keep the illusion of raising

a single child intact
for Angela.

But just as important
as her experience

was the well-being
of the babies.

Ask them about aromatherapy.
Like, if they're okay with...

...lavender...

Okay.
...on the soles of the feet.

Lavender on the soles
of the feet?

Mm-hmm, the oil.

I had to keep track
of everything she wanted to do

with these kids and get
the real parents' consent.

Lavender oil on soles of feet
to calm them.

Sure, she can give it a sh*t
if she wants.

Okay.
Lavender oil okay.

But the most important element
of Angela's future life

as a mother was still missing,
a man by her side.

Prior to the start
of her rehearsal,

I'd encouraged her to meet up

with some of her
dating app matches

to see if she could find someone

with the qualities
she was looking for

in a co-parent.

I mean, I'm not saying
that all extra-biblical texts

are bad 'cause definitely like
the Dead Sea Scrolls or...

- No.
- The Apocrypha.

But a lot of believers

of various denominations
don't really read the Bible

and they don't really know
what it says.

- Mm-hmm.
- So, that can be problematic

because then people start
going by their opinions and...

- Yeah.
- Yeah, because...

- Yeah, so...
- Yeah.

Yeah.

For a while
it seemed like

she would never find
a connection.

I was just wondering,
what scares you the most?

- In life.
- Well...

first off, it's eels.

Until,

she met a guy named Robin.

- Angela? Good to meet you, how's your day?
- Hmm..

Nice to meet you.
It's going crazy.

All right. It's crazy?

No, it's good, it's fabulous.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Yeah, same here.

- Oh, really?
- Absolutely blessed.

- It's a very good day.
- Very blessed.

- I agree with that.
- Yes.

This is the Lord's Prayer,
Matthew 6:19 through 13

with a heartbeat monitor.

- Nice.
- You know, ask the Father,

to give me everything
I need every day,

- take care of me.
- Yeah.

I was like standing
on the corner

drinking forties...

- Mm.
- ...you know, smoking weed.

And, um, so God like,
pursued me though.

I made
a few bad decisions and ended up

totaling my Scion TC
at 100 miles an hour.

- Oh, wow!
- Yeah.

I found myself upright.

- Whoa.
- Uh, as miracle as that is, so...

- That's a testimony.
- Yeah.

- Amen.
- Amen.

I was hopeful Angela
would want to invite Robin

to join her rehearsal.
But now, we were three days in

and she still wasn't sure.

For me, more
than a ten-year difference

- feels a little...
- And he might be

- younger than that.
- Maybe.

You know, my goal is just for

your rehearsal
to reflect reality

- and I know...
- Yeah.

...with a partner it would...
That would happen for you, so...

- Well...
- Yeah.

...I can say, it can
still be realistic

- because my husband could be at work.
- Yeah.

And I started to wonder

if she was less interested
in an accurate simulation

of her future life
and instead just wanted

a fun vacation
in her dream home.

I hadn't intended
for this to be easy.

Since baby actors
can't work pass 7:30,

the final switch of the night
was to a robot baby

that would mimic
the sleep patterns

of a human baby.

To do this, I hired a local man
who claimed to be a night owl...

All right.

...whose job was
to watch a live feed of a real baby

and manually make
the robot baby cry in sync.

Unfortunately, it turned out

he was not a night owl

and fell asleep
within 15 minutes

of the start of his shift.

And the next night,
it happened again.

Robbing Angela of the experience
of being woken up

throughout the night
and giving her the impression

that motherhood was a walk
in the park.

- Hey, how's it going?
- It was all right, brother.

I'd be negligent
if I didn't fix this.

Didn't you describe yourself
as a night owl.

Oh, absolutely.
Yes, indeed, yeah.

And once things were up
and running again...

...Angela seems to be craving

an extra set of hands.

Because within a day,
she had set up

a second date with Robin.

Are you dressed for your date?

- I think so, yeah.
- You look great.

- Thank you.
- Very, very...

Yay!

But when I reminded her
it was her responsibility

to organize childcare,
things got a little tense.

I need more notice.

So I have time
to arrange a babysitter.

I mean, it's tough
because I mean, technically,

- crew... The crew of...
- Right.

Our crew can't help out
with any child-raising tasks.

- So, let's reschedule...
- Right.

...for like a week, you know,
next week or something.

- Right.
- I couldn't let

this experience go
to waste for her,

so I insisted she go on her date
and just this once,

I broke my own rule
and offered to babysit myself.

How are you doing?

Okay, shall we walk
a little bit?

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Okay.

Gotcha.

Mm-hmm.

You're lying.

No.

Oh, no, are you okay? Oh, no.

It's okay, it's okay.

Aw.

What's your dream,
like, for your life?

Oh, okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- How's it going?
- Good.

- Here you go, he's sleeping.
- Oh, good, thank you.

- I changed his diaper.
- Thank you for watching him.

Yeah, I've never changed
a diaper before.

How'd it go?

Pretty good,
but that doesn't matter.

How did it go with Robin?

- It was really great.
- Yeah?

Yeah, I had a good time
with him.

And there were a lot
of amazing coincidences again

- in our conversations, so...
- Like what?

Just things
that he was mentioning

about numbers that have come up
in his life,

you know, like, sometimes
you seek signs

and numbers repeating.

So he felt like those were signs

that this was supposed
to happen.

Okay.

So, Angela invited Robin
over to the house

for a third date.

Where she would propose
that he joined her

in raising her child.

ANGELA rehearsaling herself...

- Hi.
- Hi.

He's kind
of a top candidate

- for... to be a co-parent.
- Oh. To be a co-parent?

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Well, they seem
to get along well enough.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

- No, I think you're very clean.
- Come on. Don't I look clean?

There's actually
a baby in the house.

- There is?
- Yes, and I was wondering if...

- Oh, wow.
- His name is Adam.

I was wondering if you would
like to meet him.

Really?

- Hi.
- How are you doing?

- This is not my baby.
- Okay.

It's to explore the idea
of having...

What it's like
to raise children.

- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, it's for a project

that is going on.

But it'll progress
from like babies

then like toddlers,
three-year-olds,

then like pre-teens, then teens,

- um...
- That's awesome.

...and there is cameras
all over.

- All right.
- And there is also

cameras in the house.

- There's even a robot baby...
- Really.

...that they leave overnight

and it wakes me up,
and I have to get up

and feed it
until it stops crying.

So I'm staying here.

It's, you know,
obviously not my house.

Okay.

- Right.
- They...

I was like, when do I move in?

So this is the thing,
you know...

Well, I mean,
I was exploring the idea

of, I was wondering
what... how you would feel

about participating,
like co-participating

in something like this.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I think that
that would definitely

be something
that would entice me.

Okay.

Does he seem like
the type of guy

you'd be comfortable
having around your baby?

Yeah, he seems like nice
and friendly and stuff, I mean...

I was wondering, you know,
'cause we're both believers.

- Yes.
- What are your convictions

about purity, like, in dating?

- As far as, like, sexual?
- Mm-hmm.

I...

I definitely do...

have sexual relations.

- You do.
- Yeah.

Okay. You know,

I'm not giving this for nobody,
except my husband.

So if there's, like,
a temptation issue

that would definitely
come up if...

you know, you were
to participate in this project.

Okay, like, I don't understand
'cause, like,

I know
I'm a very attractive person.

- You know.
- Maybe.

Yeah, I...

Kinda. And...

- Oh, yeah, you are.
- Yeah.

Thank you.

- You're beautiful.
- Thank you.

- All right.
- Bye.

All right.

Hey, man. Robin?
I'm Nathan.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Good to meet you.

I'm just wondering
are you...

Do you think you're interested
in joining Angela in this, uh...

project or...

It sounds like something

that I'm definitely interested
in without a doubt.

Well, would you want
to try it out for tonight

- and then we can...
- Sure.

'Cause actually even
where I'm living now...

...my roommate
doesn't believe in Jesus...

- Okay.
- And she has clearly

- stated that. And...
- Is that a problem?

- Yeah, it's a problem for me.
- Okay.

Yeah, definitely.

Robin said he needed
to drive home

to get some stuff for the night,

so I tagged along
to do my due diligence

on behalf of the parents.

Wow.

Do you want me
to hold your phone,

so you don't have to look down?

You mean, like,
hold it up?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah.

Or is it little... just dangerous
maybe to have it on your lap.

Is that helpful?

- I mean, I do that all the time.
- Like this?

- Oh, like have it on your lap?
- Yeah.

Just the roads are...
Watch out for that.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Thirty-three miles
'til empty.

Jesus Christ was crucified
at 33.

- Fifty-five on the mileage.
- Oh, okay.

Big change transformation.

Thank grace. Oh, 22.

Turning all dreams
and desires into reality.

All right. Can I fill regular?

Oh, wow, it just said 88.

- What's that?
- I looked at it when it said 88.

The miles going up,
you mean?

They are going up.
I looked at it

at 88.
Eighty-eight, New Beginnings.

And it's approaching 644

and what's a trip
is after I totaled my Scion TC

last April 2nd
at 100 miles an hour...

I had a focus just like that

that I got blessed with
for 200 dollars.

- Nice place.
- Thank you.

Do you have kinda, like,
three mattresses in here?

Yeah,
I need to get rid of 'em.

But...

Remaining celibate...

I don't know, I just...

You know? I feel like...

it might... that might change.

- You think you're gonna have sex with her tonight?
- Who knows?

The door is open, I guess.
I don't know.

Do you use condoms?

- Not really.
- Oh.

- In there...
- Is that a... What is this?

This?

- Oh.
- The bong.

You know how to hit a bong,
right?

I noticed as I was gonna
make a sandwich,

we don't have mayonnaise.

- No?
- I was like, "What?"

- Yeah, buy some.
- Yeah.

'Cause I don't use
mayo too much.

I saw 44 on a plate,
and there was a car

with the Baby on Board,
Carlo sticker

just like the one that was
on my Scion TC

that I crashed at 100 miles
an hour...

All right, man,
I gotta... Hey,

I have a hard time seeing
the coincidences

in just, like,
two numbers though.

It's just so crazy,
I've seen 88, like,

the water that she offered me,
88 on it.

- Like again...
- The kid's name is Adam.

Why you think so much more
about numbers than you do, like,

the real-life experiences of,
like, you know, this is...

I met this person,
and she might be

the person for me.

- You know what I mean?
- Hmm.

Like I would focus
on that.

Thank you for your input.

- What are you stepping to?
- Squash it.

- What are you stepping to?
- Squash it.

What are you stepping to, bruh?

- Squash it!
- What are you stepping to?

What the f*ck
does that mean?

- What's up?
- What's up?

- You're stepping to me, bro.
- Hey, what's up?

- What's up?
- I'm right here.

Cross the f*cking line then,
why you keep tripping on me?

Quit f*cking tripping

- on me, bro.
- God bless you, bruh.

- Good then.
- What was that about?

Oh, I was just telling him
the truth

and his demon doesn't like
the truth.

Do you want me to drive?

Because you kinda, like,
took a little bit of weed or...

Oh, no, I can drive.

- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Just in case.

- I smoke and drive all the time.
- Oh.

- You don't have a license plate?
- No, it's okay.

But don't you need
a license plate to drive?

No.

You don't need
a license plate to drive?

No.

Seventy-seven,
this one's always here.

Oh, yeah.

Seventy-seven
and there's a cross

- right behind 33.
- Uh-huh.

Carne A sad a tater tots,
no sour cream, no cheese.

Eighty-eight.

Hi.

- Hello.
- Welcome back.

- If you hear the baby crying...
- No, no, no.

...it is your turn to go in
and feed the baby the bottle.

Okay.

My Christian friends
gonna be like,

"Oh, my gosh,
you spent the night alone

in the house with a man

who's not your husband?"

I know
that the government has

sasquatch liaisons.

People that actually
can communicate

with these creatures,
and, you know?

I've heard a lot of different
whistleblowers come up online

and, you know, through different

- radio shows and...
- Crying.

That's a loud one.

It can be scary
to let a new person

into your life.

Press it again.

You have to open up
your heart to them.

But you can never be fully sure
what their motives are.

Heavy cry.

- Heavy cry.
- Heavy cry.

- Keep him crying don't let up.
- Okay.

And even if you wish
for the best,

they often end up
disappointing you.

- He's bailing.
- What?

He's bailing, he's leaving.

Wasn't cut out for it,
I guess. Not everybody is.

Sometimes I'm not sure
why I make the choices I do.

I transported a fake bar
across the country

from New York to Oregon

just because I didn't want
to throw it away.

But I had no use for it here
and it didn't even fit

in the building they put it in.

I guess it's nice to have
something familiar around.

And especially because I was
gonna be out here for a while.

I was put up
in a corporate suite

which was apparently
their model unit,

so it had some nice amenities.

And I was allowed
to bring my cats with me

which made it
a little less lonely.

Maybe when everything around you
is so temporary,

you start longing
for something more permanent.

- Hey, hi.
- Hello.

Sorry about everything
that happened with Robin.

Oh, it's okay.

Sometimes things
have to unfold

and you have to learn things
as you go, so...

Yeah, I've been thinking
a little bit

- about just like life and...
- Hmm.

I mean,
I don't have kids myself.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm 38 and...

You know, I think I could be
a good dad maybe, but...

...I'm not sure.

- Yeah, it's hard to know.
- Yeah.

And I was thinking,
I don't know, maybe...

maybe it would be good
for you to...

To go through this experience
with someone who could benefit

- from it as well.
- Mm-hmm.

Someone like me.

Obviously, it would just be
about co-parenting

the child, not...
It wouldn't be romantic

in any way.

Yeah, I think
during this process

I wanted
to have more communication

- ahead of...
- With me?

- Yeah, ahead of time.
- Okay.

Is that a big yawn?
I know.

There you go. Good girl.
It's all right.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I think
just making sure

- that we communicate.
- Yeah.

Making sure everyone's
on the same page.

I think that's gonna be
a good thing to focus on.

It's definitely something

that I'm always trying
to work on.

Cool, thank you.

I like to pray about things.

Oh, okay.

And kind of see if I have
a peace about something.

Yeah, so I haven't really had
time to do that, so...

Obviously though,
I don't want...

I know I'm in a position
of power

when I say this to you,

- so I don't want that to influence...
- Mm-hmm.

- ...your willingness to decide.
- Oh.

- I want you to...
- Sure.

...be honest with me
and tell me if you...

If it's something you don't want
to do, definitely,

I don't want there to be
the, you know, the bias or...

- Right.
- Yeah.

You know, just off the top
of my head, I would say,

"Sure, let's go with it."

- Why not?
- Okay. Yeah, okay.

Why not?

Cool. This is gonna be fun.

It will be,
it's gonna be great.

Hi, Craig,
this is Nathan Fielder

- from The Rehearsal.
- How are you, sir?

- Good, how are you?
- I'm fantastic.

I just wanted to let you know

that I'm going to be joining
the rehearsal,

which means I'll be moving
into the house to perform

co-parenting duties

along with the current
participant, Angela.

Okay.

As promised,
we would get your approval

for any changes to the plan,

so I'm just calling
to get your verbal consent

that allows me to participate
and interact with Perry

in the capacity of father.

Is that something
I can get you to agree to today?

Yeah, I believe
that would be amicable.

It's actually great news
for you 'cause now, there'll be

two people looking
after Charlie instead of one.

Isn't that exciting?

Yeah, that's great.

I'm not sure if I sense
any hesitancy in your voice,

but if so, it's completely
understandable.

It's a strange experience
and I know this

once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
is not for everyone.

So if you're feeling even
a slightest bit uncomfortable,

I would like to opt out,

that's a no problem at all.

Oh, I appreciate that.

But no, I don't feel funny.

Well, excellent
we're thrilled to have

your continued commitment
to this groundbreaking project.

Awesome, thank you
for letting us be part of it.

And I'm excited
to see you very soon.

All right,
I'll see you soon.

And I'm excited to see Charlie.

Excited to see Tracy.

I'm excited to see Sawyer.

...to see Nicholas soon.

I'm excited to see Austin soon.

Okay,
thank you, Nathan.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye. Bye-bye.