06x05 - Speedway Fever

[bunniefuu]

15-MARY-6 and 7, 10-4.

How's "Attila-the-Hun"
treating you?

- Sergeant Murdoch?
- Yeah.

Ah, he's a pussycat.

Oh, come on, man. The toughest
instructor at the Academy?

And the first thing
that you will learn

- is how to obey orders.
- Yes, sir!

Mandi, Tami and Jill.

From the Valley.

For sure, for sure.

We're only 16.

Mrs. Cooper, you have
to give me my book back...

Please, Mrs. Cooper.

What's the problem?

Who's got a problem?

I can't believe it, a big guy
like you losing his ticket book.

Mrs. Cooper,

I'm Officer Frank Poncherello,
at your service, Ma'am.

Whatever the problem is,
I'm sure that we can solve it.

Now, once you get
your tail lights fixed,

all you have to do is have them
inspected by any CHP officer.

Including yourself,
Officer Poncherello?

It would be my
pleasure, Mrs. Cooper.

Here's my card.

Some officers know
how to treat a lady.

Here.

Thank you.

You have a nice day now.

Here he comes.

Let's do it.

I could've got that
book back, you know.

Oh, sure you could have...

But we'd both be
on pension by then.

Very funny.

Hey, listen, at lunchtime,
remind me to give you a few tips

on dealing with the
older generation.

You being that close
to that age group,

Ponch, I'm sure you
could teach me a lot.

Alert the CHP.

Sentry Courier Service
has an emergency.

Join, man, and live.

15 MARY-6 and 7, we have a
21 1 silent on a mobile courier.

Northbound Hollywood
Freeway, at Spring Street off-ramp.

15-MARY-6 and 7, 10-4.

Have a nice ride!

LA-15-MARY-7.

Roll an ambulance
and tow trucks.

10-4, MARY-7.

- Okay, all right, easy. Easy.
- Are you kidding?

What happened?

- What happened?
- You okay?

- I'm fine, I'm fine. Did you see that?
- Sir, relax. Yes. Relax, sir.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

But somebody's
out about $200,000.

He's gonna make his move.

Can you imagine going that
fast on a bike without brakes?

Fantastic.

- All it takes is balance.
- And lots of guts.

- There he is!
- Give us a break.

Top of his class at
the CHP Academy,

and competing in the World
Speedway Championship...

That's my little brother.

- Come on. Get these people out of here.
- Get out of here.

Girls, girls, come on.

- It's great to see you guys!
- You, too, Bruce!

- You remember my buddy, Ray?
- Hi.

Hi.

He keeps me honest out there.

Hey, what were
you doing, man, 85?

Are you kidding? That's
what the bike weighs.

He was doing 90.

Ray.

Baby, what are you doing here?

I'm on my way to the
insurance company.

One of our couriers
got held up this morning.

Sentry Courier Service?

Yeah, I work there.

We were the first
officers on the scene.

Jean, you know my brother,
Bobby, his partner, Ponch.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you.

Uh, anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to grab a sandwich.

- Sure.
- Great.

Bruce, you want to come with us?

No thanks. I've gotta
get back to the Academy.

Turned into a real
straight arrow, hasn't he?

What do you expect when
you come from a family of cops?

Well, it's nice meeting you
guys. We'll see you later.

- Take care.
- Bye, bye.

Champ.

Things still going
good at old CHPU?

No sweat.

But I'd rather be out there
where the action is, like you guys.

Hey, there'll be plenty of
time for that after you graduate.

Sure.

Hey, I'll walk you
guys out, huh?

All right, here we go.

How's "Attila-the-Hun"
treating you?

- Sergeant Murdoch?
- Yeah.

Ponch, I've got him
eating out of my hand.

Oh, come on, man. The toughest
instructor at the Academy?

Ah, he's a pussycat. You just
have to know how to handle him.

No, thanks, man, I don't
even want to get that close.

You get caught...

Oh, really, now,
they are awesome!

Totally... Tubular to the max.

For sure, for sure.

Who?

Mandi, Tami and
Jill. From the Valley.

Grossman found them
hitchhiking on the freeway.

He called our parents. I
mean, gag me with a spoon.

I'm just so sure I
love your boots!

They're comfortable.

And you're so totally tan.

It runs in our family.

And feast your eyes
on that k*ller hair.

I mean, is it for real?

Only his hairdresser
knows for sure.

Well, I mean, that's rad.

Really rad.

It's grody to the
max time, girls.

Your parents are here.

And just when it was
all starting to happen.

- See ya.
- But not on a freeway, okay?

For sure, for sure.

And Getraer wants to see
you two in his office right away.

Now that's really "gag
me with a spoon" time.

All right, Gus.

Oh, Gus, you know Frank.

- Hey.
- Sure do.

And his new partner,
Bobby Nelson.

- How they treating you?
- Like a member of the family.

As bad as that, huh?

I was a highway patrolman myself,
until I took an early retirement.

Thanks to stopping a
shotgun blast with his leg.

Listen, if you ever wanna know
when it's going to rain, give me a call.

Gus owns the courier service
that was hit this morning.

Second time in two
weeks, wasn't it, Gus?

- Yeah.
- LAPD have any leads?

Just that it was two men

who sure know how to ride.

That was very good, Nelson.

Very impressive.

For a motocross
racer, or a stunt biker,

but not, I repeat,
not for a CHP officer.

Sergeant Murdoch,

you know, if it's one
thing that I can do well,

maybe better than anybody
else in this Academy,

is ride a bike.

So why do you make me
take all the extra practice on it?

Because you don't seem to
understand the difference between

riding and grandstanding.

And grandstanding, Nelson,

could get you k*lled
when you hit those streets.

But, Sarge, I risk getting
k*lled every time I race!

This is not a race!

The object here is not to win,

but to become the best CHP
officer you can possibly be.

That is what you
want, isn't it, Nelson,

to be a CHP officer?

Well?

Yes. Yes, that's what I want.

You are sure?

Yes, sir.

All right!

Let's see you join the others

and learn to ride like one.

Like, I mean, for
sure, you know?

Maybe we should
just forget it for today.

What if the cops see us again?

Bag your face, Mandi. Let's
not even think grody thoughts.

You're so right, Jill.

Grody to the max.

Here comes one now.

Whoo! All right!

- Hey!
- Hi!

Hi.

So, where you girls going?

- I'm so sure, anywhere you are.
- Oh.

He's so macho, don't
you think? Whoo!

Macho?

But bag this sound
before I barf out.

Ooh, really, it's like
grody to the max.

"Grody to the max"?
Hey, you girls talk funny.

I'm sure maybe to you.

Now, that's really more with it.

Hey! Hey, don't get
lipstick on this shirt!

I just love this thing
around his neck.

It's like so punk!

Okay, okay.

You can get
lipstick on my shirt.

I'll get another one
on my way home.

Oh, really now?

Why don't you just bag
your face and pull over?

Beastie, tubular and way!

Please, don't sh**t!
Please, don't sh**t!

- Here, take my wallet and my money.
- Ah, thank you, thank you.

And take my watch, too, huh?

Ew, really?

You can't buy super gorgeous
clothes and shoes with a watch.

See you around. And,
like, don't call the cops.

I mean, really, what would wifey
say about the way you came on to us?

We're only 16.

Sixteen!

And we've got it all on here.

That's okay.

You can get
lipstick on my shirt.

Really, gag me with a spoon!

- Like, that tie and suit is so grody.
- Come on, you guys, hurry up.

What a geek!

Tell me something way fancier.

Frank Zappa, for sure.

Mandi, you're so dead!

Stupid water p*stol,
you're so gross!

Like too gnarly for real.

Oh, no!

What next?

- What?
- You all right?

Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine, officer.

May I see your
driver's license, please?

My license? Oh,
sure, yes, officer.

I have it right here.

Hey, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

I always keep it in
my wallet! My wallet!

- I lost my wallet.
- You lost your wallet?

No. Lost? No. It was stolen.

That's it, it was stolen.

- My wallet was stolen.
- When?

When? Uh, just now!

- Who stole it?
- This big guy.

I gave him a lift, and
he stole my wallet.

This really big, big guy.

That's for sure.

Big guy.

Each motorcycle is equipped
with a radio transmitting signal.

That gives us the approximate
location of the couriers at all times.

Who uses your service, Gus?

Jewelry stores to pick up and deliver
some of their more valuable merchandise.

Private parties who want
their personal jewelry picked up

or delivered to their
safety deposit boxes.

Is this the computer
that, uh, picks the route?

Yes, Jean takes the
information from the client,

feeds it into the
computer, and it comes up

with the fastest
and safest route.

What keeps someone else from
punching up the same information?

This keycard.

It has to be inserted in this slot
before the computer will respond.

How many others have cards?

Just one other person, Jean.

What's he trying to prove?

Don't ask me.

I'm just glad I'm not out there
trying to keep up with him.

Something's wrong.

He's just nervous
about the race.

Yeah, sure, I mean,
who wouldn't be?

Hey, you were riding like a
real winner out there, buddy.

It's easy when you don't have
three other bikes on your tail.

I thought cadets weren't allowed
to leave the Academy at night.

Yeah, that's right.

But they let you come
and go as you please?

Yeah, well, as long as
I get in before midnight

or else I turn into a pumpkin.

Catch you later.

All right.

- You see? Now, what did I tell you?
- Ray...

Beautiful, will you stop
worrying about him?

It's just that...

Come on, let me take you
for a ride around the track.

- But...
- Come on, we'll have some fun.

But what am I
gonna do with this?

Put it in my locker.

See? No sweat.

Come on, I'll take you for a
little spin around the track.

All right, what is it?

Come on, I'm your
partner, remember?

That's sort of
like being married

without having to send flowers.

It's Bruce.

Well, what about him?

I talked to Jean this morning

about the robbery follow-ups.

She saw Bruce practicing
last night at the stadium.

So?

So he doesn't have permission
to leave the Academy at night.

Well, maybe they
changed their minds, man.

Because of his good grades.

Suppose he just took
off and didn't tell anyone.

- Let's do it, Ray!
- Your move, Mel.

Call CHP.

Be cool, man, and live!

All available units in the
vicinity of Barham Street exit

on the northbound
Hollywood Freeway,

we have a 21 1 silent
on a mobile courier.

Hey, that's right up ahead.

LA-15-MARY-6 and 7, we're
close by and responding.

Not bad for a day's work.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

- We better make our move, Ray.
- Yeah, let's do it.

Gus was right about one thing,
they sure know how to ride.

Just like pros.

What kind of car does the
owner of this house drive?

A '78 van.

This exhaust smoke
isn't from a '78 van.

How do you know?

The color. It's got
too much gray in it.

Nitro methane.

Racing fuel.

It's no wonder they left you guys
like you were glued to the pavement.

Hey, Bruce, look at these.

Bike treads.

- You see this cross-hatch pattern?
- Yeah.

It's the rear tire and this
rib pattern is the front tire.

Racing tires?

High-speed, Ponch.

They don't make 'em any faster.

Now here's what we do.

We check in all the areas for the
bike shops that carry racing equipment.

Hey, hold it a minute.
What's this "we"?

The only "we" around
here is me and your brother.

We promised we're gonna get
you back at the Academy in an hour.

Well, this is where I belong,
out here with you guys.

- Hey, buddy...
- I know, I know.

I've gotta learn how to walk
before I ride the freeways.

You got it.

Hey, Bruce.

You haven't been having any
trouble at the Academy, have you?

Trouble? Me?

Wouldn't you be
the first to know?

There goes a chip
off the old CHiP.

I couldn't hit the side of a
mountain with a 12-gauge shotgun.

Relax, buddy, you're
just not breathing right.

I breathe in and out
just like anyone else.

That's not what I mean.

Line the sights
up with the target.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

Take a regular
breath and hold it,

squeeze the trigger
nice and slowly.

I did it!

I actually hit the little man.

You're a real sharpsh**ter.

You two forgot there's no
talking on this f*ring line?

Oh, look, Sergeant
Murdoch, thanks to Bruce, uh,

I hit the target, right
smack in the center.

Motorcycle riding,

target sh**ting.

It seems the only thing
that you're not expert in,

Nelson, is obeying orders.

Sorry, sir, I was
just trying to help.

That's not what you're here for.

You're at the Academy
to learn, not to teach.

And the first thing that you
will learn is how to obey orders.

Do you see that sign?

It's there for a reason.

Maybe you don't
agree with that reason,

maybe you don't
even understand it,

but one thing is for sure.

You will obey it. Is that clear?

- Is that clear?
- Yes, sir!

Continue f*ring.

Nelson!

Which way do you point your
w*apon when you are on the f*ring line?

- Down range.
- That's right!

Down range at all times,
even when you're loading it!

I'm sorry, I just
wasn't thinking, sir.

That's your problem, Nelson.

When it comes to this
Academy, you seldom think.

In fact, sometimes I
wonder why you're here.

You know something, Sarge,

I was wondering the
same thing myself.

Hang in there, buddy.
It's all in the breathing.

We're positive the thieves
are professional bikers.

The question now is, how
did they get their information?

Are you accusing Jean
of being mixed up in this?

We think she's being used.

- By that motorcycle racer she goes with?
- Yes.

If he's got ahold of her card,

he could know the courier
routes for the entire week.

When is the next delivery?

Less than two hours.

Frank...

But I already gave you
the thief's description.

Mr. Parson, in
the past two weeks

there have been three robberies
on that same stretch of highway.

And each victim has given us a totally
different description of the robber.

But yours was the most confusing,
so we'd like to hear it again.

Yeah, well, he was tall!

What color hair did he have?

- Uh, brown.
- Light or dark?

- Like his.
- Light, almost blond?

- Yeah.
- What was he wearing?

Uh, a leather jacket.

- Uh, sweatshirt?
- How about a turtleneck sweater?

- Right, yes, that's it!
- Wrong!

You said he was wearing
a checkered sports coat.

And had dark brown hair.

Why don't you tell us the truth.

You do want the thief caught?

Yeah.

Well, will this be confidential?

We'll do our best,
Mr. Parson. We promise.

Well, he wasn't
a big guy at all,

it was a little girl.

Three little girls to be exact.

Just 16,

with wacky clothes
and a lot of makeup,

and had weird
things to say like,

"Oh, really? Real
grody to the max!"

Mandi, Tami and Jill!

The Valley girls.

Here's another.

He's stopping!

Oh, really, Mandi,
you don't say!

Oh, man.

- All right!
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hey.

I'll bet it is hot out there.

- Whoo.
- You girls going far?

For sure, but you have to
bag this sound before I barf out.

- Hey.
- I mean...

I like that music.

Well, we sure
can't ride with you.

So why don't you just bag
your face and pull over?

Girls,

the name is Ernie,
and g*ns are my hobby.

- Even water g*ns.
- Uh...

You girls wanna
have a little fun, huh?

All right.

Oh, right, you are going to be in so much
trouble if you don't let us out right now!

I hope you realize
we're only 16!

Well, honey, you're going to be a whole
lot older by the time I finish with you.

Help! Help! We're
being kidnapped!

Help! Help!

Sing it out, girls!

Help, help the g*ng's all here.

15-MARY-10, request backup.

I am following a possible 211
suspect in a brown Mercury,

eastbound on the Ventura Freeway,
between White Oak and Balboa.

- Help!
- Sing it out, girls.

Hey, shut up!

Right there.

All right.

All right, girls, nothing's
gonna stop old Ernie now.

All units in the vicinity
of the Ventura Freeway,

eastbound between White Oak and
Balboa, 15 MARY-10 requests assistance.

MARY-6 and 7, we're on the way.

Girls, nothing stops old Ernie!

Well...

Almost nothing.

- He was trying to kidnap us!
- Right, you saved our lives!

He was trying to kidnap us!

I gave them a lift and
they pulled a g*n on me!

A water g*n, like too much!

Look, I thought I'd teach them
a lesson, give 'em a little scare.

Okay, everybody gets a
chance to tell it to the judge.

- Put your hands on your head.
- Hey, I'm a taxpayer!

You're also under arrest!

I'm afraid you girls are
going to have to share one.

Oh, right, this is
grody to the max.

Good evening, and welcome
to the Los Angeles Coliseum.

For the first time ever, the
World Championship of Speedway

will be held here in the
United States, tonight.

And we've got racers coming in

from Denmark and
Poland and Czechoslovakia,

three representatives from the
United States alone, in what has to be

the most prestigious event in
speedway motorcycle racing.

We'd like to remind you to be
sure and get to your seats early

because we've got a total of 20
different races to throw at you tonight,

and I think you're going
to enjoy every one of them.

This thing's running like a
lawnmower, won't pull out at corners.

Yup, oughta be
in the carburation.

I'm gonna have to tear
this carburetor down.

Look, the race
starts in an hour.

Then will you move your
you-know-what and let me get to work?

Hey, big brother,
come to wish me luck?

Why didn't you tell me, Bruce?

Tell you what?

Cut the tap dancing, I
don't have much time.

I talked to Sergeant Murdoch.

He told me you quit the Academy.

What else did he tell you?

That your grades were
going down the tubes.

Bruce, I thought you
wanted to be an officer.

- Yeah, I thought so, too, Bobby.
- Then why did you quit?

Maybe because I wanted
it for the wrong reason.

What do you mean?

Maybe because I thought
that's what's expected of me.

I guess Dad and I kind
of took it for granted.

Yeah, but, Bobby,
that's not good enough.

I've gotta want it for myself, or
else it doesn't mean anything.

You can understand
that, can't you?

Yeah, I understand.

Where are you going?

We think we got a lead
on the courier robberies.

It's Ray, isn't it?

Come on, Bobby.

Mom didn't raise any
dumb kids, remember?

I'll try to make it
back for the race.

- I'm going with you.
- No way.

He's been using me.

And I've got a score to settle.

It's a set-up, Ray.

Let's get out of here, Mel!

All right, fella, let's go. Put
your hands behind your head.

Why, Ray?

I thought we were friends.

You thought wrong.

- "Friend."
- Let's go.

The part they don't teach
you at the Academy, Bruce,

is sometimes doing the
right thing hurts the most.

Thanks, Ponch.
I appreciate that.

But I think I learned
a little too late.

Hey, it's never too late, pal.

Don't you have a race to run?

From all over the world,
they've come to ride

this one-night
world championship.

And, I think, from all over the
world, they've come to watch it, too,

as the grandstands are filled up now
with a whole bunch of unique people.

Get ready to watch the
World Championship.

We've got some of the best
riders, Peter Collins from England,

Nicki Helsetrosten
from the Soviet Union,

Jan Andersson from Sweden,

Eddie Jancarz from Poland,

Kenny Carter from England,
Georg Hack from West Germany,

Phil Crump from Australia.
They're from everywhere.

And so are the reporters
that are covering it,

the eyes and ears of the world are
focused on the LA Coliseum tonight.

For the United States, there's not
only Dennis Sigalos and Kelly Moran,

but young Bruce Nelson, who's a student
at the California Highway Patrol Academy.

And Nelson says
if he wins this one,

he's gonna quit speedway and become
a California Highway Patrolman fulltime.

You really think
this is going to help?

It's worth a try.

The starting gate, now we're on,

and they're off
from the starting line.

Look at them, as they go
sailing down into the first corner.

The leader at this moment,
Georg Hack, the West German.

And looks like Bruce Nelson got
squeezed back clear to third place

behind Ed Jancarz from Poland.

He's starting to work on Jancarz

'cause third place is not going to
get him the World Championship.

Here he is making
a move on him now

and it holds up for him.

It looks like it's going to be
Nelson in the second place spot,

but second is still not enough.

Georg Hack, the West German
is on a roll at the moment,

and Bruce Nelson, the Southern
Californian, trying to reel him in.

One lap to go when
they come down this time,

and it looks like Nelson
has gotten by Hack,

Nelson is by Hack as
the last lap flag waves.

And here comes Hack,
right back on Nelson.

The German won't let him go.

Final corners,
they come off of it,

going for the three
points for the win...

It looks like it's going to be
Bruce Nelson, the Californian,

in second place
will be Georg Hack

and Nelson scores another big one on
his way to the World Championship tonight.

What a race that was.

Officers Poncherello and Nelson.

Right through the pit gate comes
our next ride for the evening,

and in this one, from Denmark,
we've got Hans Nielsen,

from England, Les Collins,

from Finland, Kai Niemi,

and representing the United
States of America, Bruce Nelson.

They push-start the 14.5 to one
compression ratio bikes to life,

and we're about ready to
bring this one to the starting line.

Okay, gentlemen, uh, you have the
right to speak on behalf of Cadet Nelson,

but, frankly, this seems like
a fairly open-and-shut case.

Cadet Nelson quit the
Academy of his own choosing.

What else can be said?

One of the key rides
on tonight's program

and as we look down to the starting
gate, it is Nelson on the far outside,

tough position to start
from, the number four...

And they're off! And as they
go down into turn number one,

number 15, Les Collins,
put on a beautiful start.

Collins, a 24-year-old
Englishman,

in his first ever appearance in a
World Final is in front at the moment.

Right behind him, Bruce Nelson,

and behind him, Kai
Niemi, the Finnish rider.

Off the corner now and it is going
to be Collins dropping to second,

out in front, it's Bruce Nelson.

Captain,

I know Bruce's
grades have slipped,

and that he hasn't been
trying as hard as he should,

and that there's no excuse
for disobeying Academy rules.

But I also know, sir, that
he's a fine young man,

and has all the abilities of
becoming an outstanding CHP officer.

The battle between
Collins and Nelson rages on.

It's Collins in front at the moment,
Nelson right there with him,

wheel-to-wheel, it's Nelson on
the inside, Collins on the outside,

down back straight
away, it's Collins again,

it's Nelson again.

You can't find a better
race than this one.

It's Collins in front as they
come down to the corner

and on the outside
Nelson trying him.

Checkered flag is out and waving,
let's see who gets there at the line,

and it is Collins for the win.

And Collins picks up the three key
points for the World Championship

and Nelson only two.

Do you have anything
to add, Nelson?

Only that I've known
Bruce his whole life,

and I believe in him 100%.

Of course, um,
you're not prejudiced?

Yes, I am, sir.

How do you feel about
this, Sergeant Murdoch?

Out of the pit gate
they come now

in what has to be the most
pivotal event of the night.

In this one, we got Mikhail
Starostin the young Russian.

We've got Jiri Stancl and Vaclav
Verner, the two Czechoslovakians,

who are gonna try their best to
hold back the young American,

number 13, Bruce Nelson.

Nelson has got a chance to wrap up
the whole World Championship right here,

but it takes a win.

Second place is not good enough.

And as we send them into
the starting gate right now,

the whole stadium
begins to feel the pressure.

Nelson, it's all on his back.

Watching closely...
They're gone!

The gate is up and there is a
tremendous start by Bruce Nelson.

Nelson has got a bike length
on the field at the moment

but he's way outside.

Way outside and running well.

Nelson, putting the
heat to all riding...

- Bruce needs this race to win.
- We heard.

Unable to close up against him,

and it is Nelson, checking to look
over his shoulder every once in a while,

as Jiri Stancl moves up
some ground on him right now.

Nelson...

Come on, little
brother, you can do it!

Everything goes
wrong with the bike,

you know it's not gonna last
for just those two more laps.

The World
Championship on the line,

it couldn't be any more
on the line than right now.

Nelson, out in front. Behind
him, as he looks once again,

is the young
Czechoslovakian, Stancl.

Here he comes, sailing around and
definitely on that beautiful inside line.

Nelson may well be wrapping
it all up, right about now.

Watching as Stancl
goes off the good line,

it gives Nelson a couple
more bike lengths right there.

Bike lengths that he needed!

But Stancl won't quit, the
Czecho keeps coming back at him,

coming back at him.

And still Nelson
fending him off right now,

as they look down
the line, checkered flag.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing
the World Champion, Bruce Nelson.

That's my little brother!

The scoreboard couldn't say it
any better, "Congratulations, Bruce."

Bruce Nelson, the new
Speedway World Champion.

Kathy told me you went to see the
Commanding Officer of the Academy today.

Yeah, we, uh,
gave it our best sh*t.

Murdoch buried me, didn't he?

Uh-uh. Murdoch convinced
him to give you another chance.

You, he wants back!

Fact is, he's
looking forward to it.

All right.

The World Champion of
Speedway, Bruce Nelson!

Yeah, all right.

All right.