06x12 - Hot Date

[bunniefuu]

How tough are you
without your g*n, huh?

Tough enough for
anything but your breath!

(GRUNTING)

What are we gonna do now, Jake?

We're gonna wait, and then
we're gonna k*ll them both.

From the jungle of his heart,
a flower to match your beauty.

My name is Herman Hinton.

I used to be bald.

We took off to be together,

and now we're gonna be
further apart than before.

How about if I
show the lady here

- what a man I can be?
- (SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, back a little.

A little more. No, that's
too much. Bring it forward.

That's too far.

Looks okay to me, Harlan.

I'll show you.

Hey, Bruce, what's going on?

Ponch, he's flipped.

I don't spend this much time at
the Academy on spit and polish.

- Maybe you need it.
- Hey, big brother.

If looking sharp was water,

you would die of thirst.

Ponch!

At least there's somebody here
with experience and maturity.

Hold this against
the front tire here.

Ponch?

Uh, that last bike is a
little out of line, Harlan.

Thank you.

Well, are you
satisfied, Cadet Nelson?

It's only an inspection.

(SCOFFS) "Only inspection."

It is the inspection.

The Captain is personally
going to inspect the equipment,

and more important,
the vehicles.

Uh, Harlan, don't
forget the people.

That's not my problem,
I don't do people.

Back a little.

Little more. Whoa!

I see it, but I
don't believe it.

Looks a lot like your
date from the other night.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

GETRAER: All right,

let's keep busy, let's
keep it moving here.

Hey.

Hey, you know it doesn't do much
good to have that rag on the glass

unless your arm
goes up and down.

- That's it.
- (PONCH LAUGHING)

Well, if it isn't Buck
Rogers and the Cisco Kid.

- Hi, Sarge.
- This place looks real clean, Sarge.

Nelson, are you a
latent fingerprint expert?

No, sir.

Then get your
hands off the glass.

And I wanna remind you,
you have exactly 15 minutes

to get ready for briefing.

We'll be there, Sarge.

Boy, is he in a great mood.

Is it this bad every
year on inspection?

This year he's nice. (CHUCKLES)

Ponch, message for you.

Thanks, Kathy.

Lori's coming to town.

That stewardess who's been
sending you pictures and postcards

from around the world?

She's a flight attendant.

And the most beautiful
woman you've ever seen.

She's going to be laying
over in LA for 12 hours.

Mmm. Sounds great. When
am I going to meet her?

You're not. This is
strictly a private party.

It could be very private.

She's liable to be by herself.

You got inspection and a
whole day of work with me.

Oh...

Wait a minute. Maybe there's still
time to find someone to switch with.

- PONCH: Grossie!
- Hey, Ponch.

How are you, old pal?

What's that junk you're
putting on your boots?

This stuff is the greatest.

Instant Shine. Makes
'em look like a mirror.

Makes 'em cr*ck like one, too.

Hey, I've already tried
to tell him. He won't listen.

Who cares?

These are an old pair of boots.

Besides, there is no way I'm
going to flunk this inspection.

Hey, that's terrific, Grossie.

Hey, listen, I've
got a little problem.

I really need to get today off,

and I noticed you
weren't working.

Gee, Ponch, you know
I'd do anything for you,

but... (YAWNS) These
inspections really tire me out.

I'm looking forward to just
going home and sacking out.

PONCH: How can you
waste your day off sleeping?

It's important that the human
body have time to re-prime its parts.

And he does have more
parts than the rest of us.

(LAUGHS)

Come on, Grossie. You know I
wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

Or if she wasn't beautiful.

Of course, there might be
another day when I could

enjoy my leisure time more
like, um, New Year's Day.

When all the games are on?

Your choice, football
or, uh, romance?

Okay, okay, it's a deal.

And the opening
day of trout season.

You don't fish.

No, but I can trade it with a
fisherman for the Fourth of July.

Phew. What a m*ssacre.

Deal?

Deal.

(CHUCKLING)

As soon as briefing's over,
we'll proceed to Harlan's garage

where Captain Burke will conduct

the personnel portion
of the annual inspection.

I trust everybody's ready.

Ready to shine, Sarge.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Luckily, Captain Burke
has not arrived yet

to inspect our
correspondence file.

Which enabled me to
intercept this postcard.

- "Hi, Bronze Beauty."
- ALL: Whoa!

- (LAUGHING)
- Sarge, if you don't mind I'll...

Oh, I do mind, Frank.

"Will be flying in soon.

"Can't wait to be in your
arms at your love palace."

Bronze Beauty, are you
sure that's not for me, Sarge?

"Love Palace"? She's
never even seen his place.

- This girl needs an eye check-up.
- (CHUCKLING)

Frank, it's bad enough to
use our official mailing address

for your personal business,

but to subject the
entire watch to this

emotional gibberish.
Well, that's unforgivable.

- You're just not romantic, Sarge.
- (GETRAER SCOFFS)

(INDISTINCT MUTTERING)

Oh...

Don't tell me I see
a gorilla at the door.

(ALL LAUGHING)

GORILLA: I've got a
surprise! A surprise.

For you? No.

Is it for you?

Uh-uh.

- For you? Uh...
- Maybe it's for Nelson.

GORILLA: No, maybe it's you?

Sorry, maybe next time.

- It's got to be for Grossie.
- GORILLA: Oh, Linahan.

- Right there.
- Kathy Linahan.

From the jungle of his heart,
a flower to match your beauty.

It's beautiful. Who sent it?

Oh, no. That's a
secret, but listen,

"Kisses spread germs,
so it's been stated.

"So, kiss me, kid,
I've been vaccinated."

(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

(GORILLA ULULATING)

(GRUNTING)

It must be that new perfume
you're wearing, Kathy.

Yeah, it makes animals
out of your admirers.

Quiet!

(SCOFFS) Postcards and gorillas.

I hope you're all in as good
a mood after the inspection.

Sarge, I think that gorilla
was wearing lieutenant's bars.

(ALL LAUGHING)

All right, all right.

We will now proceed to Harlan's garage
where we will prepare for the inspection.

And please,

do not litter my hallway or
put your hands on my windows.

No hands, Sarge.

- You coming?
- No, I gotta make a quick phone call.

All right.

- Are you going to wear them?
- Are you serious?

These aren't wearing boots,
these are inspection boots.

Kathy, you really don't
know who sent that to you?

No, why?

I don't know. Just think about it.
There's a lot of weirdos out there.

That's silly, Ben. You've been
reading too many detective magazines.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hello.
- Mrs. Winston?

Hi, it's Ponch. How's it going?

Fine, Mr. Poncherello,
fine. I just finished.

That's terrific. Mrs. Winston,

today's kind of a
special occasion for me,

you know, real important.

I was wondering if you could give
the place an extra-special cleaning.

I always give your place an
extra-special cleaning, Mr. Poncherello.

You've never complained before.

I didn't mean it like that, Mrs. Winston.
You do a wonderful job all the time.

It's just that today is
real important to me.

And I know you'll be as
satisfied as all the other days.

I'm sure I will.

- Oh, by the way...
- I know, Mr. Poncherello.

I'll leave out some
cheese and a little salami.

Thanks, Mrs. Winston.
Oh, one other thing.

I'm tied up at work for a while.

Could you call the florist and ask him to
deliver a dozen roses to the apartment?

- I'll stop by on the way home.
- Ah, thank you.

But I'm putting
the time on my bill.

(VOCALIZING)

(DOOR LOCK CLICKING)

Excuse me,

is this where Frank
Poncherello lives?

Who wants to know?

- I'm an old friend of his.
- Old friends know where old friends live.

I'm from out of town. And, uh...

I wanted to surprise him.

So, how about
letting me wait inside?

(DOOR CLOSES)

I haven't said he lives here.

And if he did, you
can wait outside.

(DOORKNOB RATTLING)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

What are we going
to do now, Jake?

We're gonna wait,

and then we're
gonna k*ll them both.

(GROSSMAN GRUNTING)

"A" watch, ten-hut!

That's a nice shine
on those boots, Officer.

Thank you, sir.

What is the best deterrent
effect upon a traffic violator?

Visible patrol, sir.

- Linahan, eh?
- Yes, sir.

I don't suppose you'd know the penal
code section for justifiable homicide?

Section 196

defines homicide as justifiable
when committed by public officers...

I know.

I know.

Officer Nelson, what should
your primary consideration be

in high risks and felony
stops if you're working alone?

I avoid them, sir.

I call for assistance
and sit back and wait.

Then why do they
call you Hot Dog?

I like sausage, sir.

Don't I get a question, Captain?

Not this year, Poncherello.

I'll inspect the vehicles later.
But I'd like to see driver's licenses.

Uh, driver's licenses?

Uh, yes, sir, coming up.

"A" watch, driver's
licenses, draw!

The watch has their licenses
ready for your inspection, sir.

Well, it isn't necessary
for me to look at all of them.

I believe in random sampling.

Have that officer bring up his.

Which one, sir?

Fourth one.

Grossman.

Me?

Front and center.

Walk from here to there?

Grossman.

(CRACKLING)

Sir.

Instant Shine, eh?

Yes, sir.

Long time since someone
tried to pull that on me.

This license has expired.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, no.

Grossman.

- Kathy?
- No!

Hey, I haven't even
asked a question yet.

Grossie's working the front
desk because his license expired,

and that leaves one other
motor officer with the day off, me.

Aww, come on. Help
a guy out, will you?

You want me to give my
day off so you can entrap

a poor working lady
into your den of iniquity?

Hey, you've got
it all wrong, Kathy.

My intentions are
strictly honorable.

Oh. Well, in that case, I wouldn't
mind having New Year's Day off myself.

Oh, you devil, you. It's a deal.

And I have two 40-yard-line
tickets for the SC game next week.

Hey, I'll be glad to take you.

I have a date, thank you, I
need you to babysit my niece.

- The "k*ller"?
- (CHUCKLES) Is it a deal?

- Deal.
- (CHUCKLES)

(KEYS JANGLING)

Get inside.

- Hey, what are you, crazy?
- Just shut up and get inside.

How tough are you
without your g*n, huh?

Tough enough for
anything but your breath!

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

Are you all right, Jake?

(GROANS)

Linahan, Nelson.

What have you got?

We picked them up
hitchhiking on the freeway.

- Where were they headed?
- NELSON: They won't tell us.

- Runaways, huh?
- You have no right to hold us.

Yes, we do, if you're underage.

Wanna tell us how
to reach your parents?

All right, let's go inside.

Sit down over there.

Now, come on, kids,
give us a break, huh?

We're going to a place where
no one hassles anyone else.

Where it's quiet and
peaceful and beautiful.

And the land and the sea gives
you all the food you'll ever need.

Where is this place?

Somewhere.

The Blue Lagoon?

(SIGHS) Where are you from?

Okay, might as well get started.

I'll check out the teletypes.
Why don't you start on the reports.

(GRUNTS)

All right, let's start
from the beginning.

MAN: A little different
now, isn't it, Poncherello?

Carr?

Jake Carr.

Congratulations.

You've got more
brains than I thought.

You're sure not showing any.

This is about as dumb as when
you broke into that warehouse.

Catching and convicting
are two different things.

(SCOFFS)

And you sure are not gonna be
around to testify against me this time.

Jake, you're consistent.

You're still a loser,
a three-time loser.

What did he promise you,
10 bucks and a candy bar?

- He's my brother.
- JAKE: Shut up, Charlie.

Today... (CLAPS) Seems
like a nice day for a reunion.

So why don't you
call your partner?

PONCH: This is your party.

- You send out the invitation.
- That wasn't a request.

- That was an order.
- This isn't a restaurant.

- Serve yourself.
- (SOFTLY) Okay.

Kathy, we found
this in the parking lot.

Guess who it's for.

Isn't it gorgeous?

I don't believe you, Kathy.
Some nut is stalking you.

No one's stalking me.
Someone's sending me orchids.

You know, last week I
gave a ticket to a movie star.

Yeah, sure, most people
who get tickets send orchids.

Stop it. I'm not going to start
thinking like a horror-movie junkie.

- Did I miss something?
- Brenda Starr got another orchid.

No kidding, who from?

Let's not go through this again.

Did you find out anything?

- Nothing yet.
- Hey, have fun at the prom.

(LAUGHING)

Let's start calling around.

L.A.P.D. or the Sheriff's
office might have something.

Huh?

You've gone through a lot
of trouble for nothing, Jake.

There's no way I'm
going to call my partner.

Everyone has a breaking point.

We just haven't found yours yet.

Take your best sh*t, man.
My partner's going to bury you.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

- Are you expecting anyone?
- Nobody.

Go take a look. Go.

- It's a chick!
- I'm not expecting anyone.

(CHIMING CONTINUES)

Get her in here. And
nothing funny from you.

Well, where were you...

Oh, hi. Um...

- Is Ponch here?
- Yeah, he's inside, come on in.

Come on in.

Oh, no.

Why don't you go sit
on the couch next to him.

Please.

(CHUCKLING)

Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Don't tell me.

Let me guess.

I've flown over 300,000 miles

and now your apartment
is being h*jacked to Cuba?

He said sit down!

Sit down, go ahead.

(JAKE SCOFFS)

Is this for real?

This is for real.

(SIGHS) I'm sorry, Lori.

Now,

I think we'll talk
about that phone call.

Right, Ponch?

I'll file the report,
folks. Have a good day.

- Hey, Bruce, how's it going?
- Great, Grossie. How about you?

I'm studying for my
driver's license renewal test.

I miss being out on
the streets already.

- Well, you think you'll pass?
- Bruce,

I'm a veteran traffic
officer. It's a piece of cake.

Here's one for you.

How steep must a hill be

before you're required to park your car
with the wheels turned toward the curb?

I know it, I know it.

Yeah, I know it.

- What are you doing, Bruce?
- Starting a pool

on how many questions
you're gonna miss.

Great chance to make the
children's hospital some money.

What's the answer, Bruce?

3%, but you'll forget.

(GRUNTS)

You got a car?

Yeah, I rented
one. It's up front.

Gimme the keys.

- Come on.
- All right.

(KEYS JANGLING)

Look, Charlie, I'm gonna go
downstairs. I'm gonna move her car.

Now, you be very careful.

- If he tries anything...
- I'll take care of it, Jake.

Come on, Jake, let the lady go.

She's got nothing
to do with this.

(LAUGHING)

- Be careful...
- I'll take care of it, Jake.

I'll take care of it.

(DOOR OPENS)

Charlie, why are you
involved in this, huh?

Jake is my brother.

What, do you expect me to watch
him go to prison for the rest of his life?

- Have you ever been in prison?
- What's the difference?

The difference is between open
doors and never seeing the night sky.

If you think you're afraid now,

wait until you have to walk
across a prison yard for the first time

and they spot a baby like you.

You don't understand.
Jake's my brother.

He takes care of me.

No, Charlie. He's
taking care of himself.

He's using you.

Uh...

Let's have some
cheese, Lori. Huh?

How can you eat
at a time like this?

PONCH: Go ahead
and try some, come on.

LORI: Ponch, I'm not hungry.

It's good for you. Energy.

Well, maybe one wouldn't hurt.

CHARLIE: Hold it.

Now, no funny stuff.

I'm not going anywhere.

One quick nibble and I'll
get right back to the cage.

- And bring me a piece, okay?
- Okay.

Be careful.

I don't know, Ponch.

These look pretty good.

You know what I always said.

I just love a man
with gourmet tastes.

Ah!

(GASPS)

Now, don't ever try that again.

Okay?

Okay.

Sit down.

I'm sorry, Jake.
I didn't see it!

(JAKE SIGHS)

- What are we gonna do?
- (SIGHS) I don't know.

We've gotta stick together.

Okay, kids. The fantasy
is over. It's time to talk now.

We'll start with your names.

We don't want to talk to you.

I don't remember
asking for a vote.

Someone, somewhere, has
to be very worried about you.

- They don't...
- We said we don't want to talk to you.

Okay, macho man. Come with me.

Let's have a private discussion.

- We don't want to be split up.
- Rick.

Like I said, Rick,
this isn't a democracy.

I ran into a florist outside.

(CLICKS TONGUE) These were
going to be delivered to you, Lori.

Oh, Ponch. They're beautiful.

I wish we were
sharing them alone.

Everything's changed
now, Poncherello.

Now,

you've proved what
a tough guy you are.

You want the lady to have
to prove how tough she is?

- CHARLIE: Jake, don't do this.
- Shut up!

Come on.

Now, what's it gonna
be, Poncherello?

Are you gonna
make that phone call?

Or does the lady get a new face?

Ponch.

(KEYS CLACKING)

(PHONE RINGING)

California Highway
Patrol, may I help you?

Grossie, it's Ponch.

Hey, guy. How are you
enjoying your day off?

Terrific. Listen, will
you do me a favor

and page Bobby for me?

You're on your day off, and
you're with a beautiful chick,

and you miss your partner?

Grossie, just page him, huh.

Okay, lover, keep your shirt on.

(ECHOING) Officer Bobby
Nelson, report to the front desk.

Officer Bobby Nelson,
report to the front desk.

It's Ponch.

- Ponch? What's the matter?
- Uh, nothing.

Look, I promised you that I'd
introduce you to Lori when she hit town.

Well, today's your lucky day.

Are you kidding me? You didn't
want me anywhere near the place.

Hey, I never said that.

Are you okay, buddy?

What time can you get over here?

It's going to take a while.
I'm tied up with some arrests.

Well, shake loose as soon
as you can, all right, partner?

I'd hate for Lori to leave town without
you getting a chance to meet her.

Okay, see you later.

What's wrong, Bobby?

Something's funny, Grossie.

He wouldn't want me
within 100 miles of his place.

- Sarge?
- Yeah.

I just got a funny
phone call from Ponch.

Listen, Nelson, I don't
have time to listen to jokes.

Not funny funny, weird funny.

He pulls every trick in the
book so he could get the day off,

so he could be
alone with this girl.

Now he wants me to come over.

You think something's wrong?

I don't know, Sarge.
It's weird, that's all.

Well, he's your
partner. You figure it out.

Good advice, Sarge.

Hey, Grossie, how's it going?

Like rolling off a log.

I got one for you.

Can a person's
license be suspended

if he's never committed
a violation in California?

Of course not, Sarge.

Yes, it can.

If that person's
license was suspended

in another state for
failing to meet the proof

of the financial responsibility
provisions in that state.

(POUNDS ON TABLE) I think
I'm gonna get in Bruce's pool.

That's not even in here.

KATHY: Won't you
tell me your name?

(CLICKS TONGUE) You
really love him, don't you?

I do. We love each other.

You know, you're
really very lucky.

I've been looking for my Blue
Lagoon for quite some time,

I just can't seem to find
someone to share it with.

Rick and I really
love each other.

I know Rick's name,
now what's yours?

Patty.

What happens after you
find your Blue Lagoon?

Are you going to have babies?

Mmm, we haven't
talked about that.

But if you love someone, you
have to start thinking about it.

I guess so.

What do you want
for your children?

What do you want them
to be when they grow up?

They're going to have the best.

I mean, when they're your kids,

there's nothing that's
too good for them.

Maybe even a doctor
or even the President.

Sure, why not?

In the Blue Lagoon?

Blue Lagoon, huh?

You sure don't show
me much as a man.

I am a man.

A real man would be acting
a little more responsible.

He'd be worrying about his lady.

Man, you don't think
I'm worried about her?

Apparently not too much.

'Cause if I don't get some
straight answers out of you,

she's going to be
shipped down to juvenile.

Do you know what could happen
to a young lady down at the hall?

If you do that to her,
then you're the cause.

No way, Rick. It's your move.

You want to play grown-up, then
you have to accept the consequences.

Everything is just
happening too fast.

You're putting
the squeeze on us.

Yeah, you're right.

Welcome to the real world.

Excellent.

Outstanding.

You run a tight ship, Arliss.

But how does the
maintenance record hold up?

As tight as these chassis, sir.

Cadet Nelson, show
the Captain the records

on shop number 12-6-0-3.

Yes, sir. Coming right up.

I think you'll find Harlan's
record-keeping beyond compare.

Here it is, sir.

As you can see, sir, I've
broken down the "A" check

and the "B" check
into a tickler file.

So that no vehicle can
leave these premises

without being mechanically
and visually perfect.

And, in addition to that...

(TIRES SCREECHING)

I had to chase a speeder
through a mud bank.

Am I late?

Someday, you're gonna
need a favor, Webster.

Someday.

How long is it going
to take him to get here?

I made the phone call for you. You
want a fortune teller, join a circus.

(SCOFFS)

I am really going to enjoy
the end of this, Poncherello.

I can understand a dummy like
you going down the hard way,

but why take your
brother down with you?

- Leave him out of this.
- LORI: Why, can't he speak for himself?

I can speak for myself.

This wasn't Jake's idea.

You don't really believe
that, do you, Charlie?

Who put the guilt trip on
you from the beginning?

That's not the way it is. I
would have come along,

even if Jake hadn't
asked. Right, Jake?

See, you don't
understand, Ponch.

You don't understand
family love.

I got a sister that I love, man.

And because I love her, I wouldn't
ask her to risk her life for me.

Tell them, Jake. Tell
them how it is for us.

Tell them!

What are you listening
to them for, huh?

- Either you shut your mouth...
- Or what?

You're going to show baby brother
here what a punk you really are?

How about if I
show the lady here

- what a man I can be?
- (SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Ponch! Ponch!

I'll do it!

Let him go!

Sit down over there!

(LORI GRUNTS)

Come on.

- (JAKE PANTING)
- (DOORBELL CHIMES)

Ponch.

- Shut up. Nobody move.
- Quiet.

Just watch them.

You really were
Mr. Poncherello's friend.

Mrs. Winston, what
are you doing here?

I asked myself that all the
way down here, Mr. Poncherello.

"Why should I care?"
I kept on saying.

I mean, I put out the cheese, I
cleaned your apartment extra-special,

I fluffed the pillows
the way you like them,

then I got to thinking.

Here I was at home with four
pieces of bratwurst in the oven.

There's no one to eat them.

I thought of you with
your special friend.

Mrs. Winston, you
didn't have to do this.

Yeah, of course I didn't,

but I also didn't know that you
were having so many guests.

This is not your normal
behavior, Mr. Poncherello.

What did you do
with this apartment?

It's nothing, Mrs.
Winston. I'll clean it up.

- Why don't you take off now, okay?
- Nothing?

It looks like a tornado hit it!

Sit down over there.

You talking to me?

I don't see anybody
else standing there.

Well, you'd better
change your tone,

or you're liable to find a bar of
soap where your teeth used to be.

Mrs. Winston, please
come over here and sit down.

Is there some kind
of trouble going on?

Trouble is a good word for it.

I knew the minute I saw
his face. I didn't like it.

Are you on our side?

Yes, ma'am, I sure am.

- Quiet.
- MRS. WINSTON: Aww.

Your poor mother must be having a stroke,
thinking her son turned out like you.

Now that is enough, lady. Okay?

Ha!

I'm really scared.

Don't be.

I'm watching out for you.

How can you watch out for me if
they send us to two different places?

I don't know.

You know, Patty, I'm
doing the best that I can.

I know you are, but it
just isn't working out.

We took off to be together,

and now we're going to
be further apart than before.

What do you wanna do?

What do you wanna do?

I love you, Patty.

I love you too, Rick,

but we have to talk to them.

What's on your mind, Rick?

We were both running away.

Why?

- It's our parents.
- My parents.

We love each other, but they
wouldn't let us see each other.

It just isn't fair. They don't
have a right to do that, do they?

Well, maybe you all
need another chance.

Well, what do you say,
shall we call your folks?

- Do you want to?
- It's up to you.

Rick, help the lady.

Let's call 'em.

All right.

Guess what was just
delivered to the front desk.

(KATHY CHUCKLES)

"As the time grows nearer,
my heart beats faster."

Isn't that beautiful?

About those flowers...

- What now?
- The man who's been sending them

is waiting for you
in the coffee room.

- I'll take care of this.
- You most certainly will not.

Were you looking for me?

Hello, Officer Linahan, you
don't remember me, do you?

My name is Herman Hinton.

I used to be bald.

(LAUGHING)

(GIGGLING)

(PHONE RINGING)

It's probably your
parole officer.

Did you miss a
check-in this week?

You, pick it up and remember,
I'm gonna be listening.

Hello.

Hi, Lori, it's Bobby
Nelson. Is Ponch there?

Yes, he is, but he can't
come to the phone right now.

I'll wait.

Uh, so, how's everything going?

Fine.

Just fine.

Um, here's Ponch, he
can come now, okay?

I'll see you real soon.

Hey, Hot Dog, what's
taking you so long?

I'm still trying to find
someone to cover for me.

Listen, why don't
you ask Grossman?

Hey, good idea.

I'll see you in a little bit.

After you stopped me
for running that red light,

I got to thinking,

just because I'd lost my wife,

there was no reason
to live in the past.

That was up on Sunset
Boulevard, wasn't it?

Yes, I could have k*lled
somebody running that light.

And you, gosh, you were
so nice and so sensitive.

You went well beyond
just talking to a violator.

You made me
realize that maybe...

Maybe I should go on living.

Mr. Hinton, I didn't do
anything special for you that day.

I spent some time talking to you
because you seemed like a nice man.

But all these beautiful
flowers you're sending me...

Do you like them? I have my
own orchid farms, you know.

I have successfully bred a
new species which I've named

the Kathylia.

For me?

Yes, the Orchid Society
has already registered it.

Mr. Hinton, I'm really honored,

but you have to start
living your own life,

and I have to live mine.

You should call your friends and
get back into your old social circles.

Gosh, you're a wonderful girl.

But it wouldn't be the
same without my wife.

It's not supposed to be.

You must think of me as
a silly old man, don't you?

No, we all get lonely.

I hope we can still be friends.

Maybe even have a
cup of coffee sometime.

Can I still keep your
name on the new orchid?

(CHUCKLES) I'd be very proud.

Well, thank you.

Kathylia.

There's a policewoman in
there that will kiss anybody.

This didn't turn out to be much
of a day, did it? (CHUCKLES)

I thought we'd
have a nice dinner.

A quiet evening
by the fireplace.

(CREAKS)

(GAS HISSING)

(LORI SOBBING)

- I'm so scared.
- Hey, hey, hey. Come on.

It's not over yet.

You know, I think that's one of
the things I like about you most.

You're always optimistic.

(CHUCKLES)

- Tell me the other reasons later.
- Why don't you knock off the talk, huh?

Jake, I think I'm going to have to
measure your class on a minus scale.

- He said shut up, Ponch!
- Or what, man?

Why don't you finish it, boys?

What about the women? What
are you going to do with them, huh?

It's not our fault
that they showed up.

Congratulations, Charlie.

You finally started
thinking like Jake.

- Nothing he ever did was his fault.
- You talk too much.

Did he ever tell you
about the first time we met?

Right after he hit an old lady
over the head and stole her purse.

That wasn't his fault either.

And I'm sure he didn't tell you about
the time he wiped out a whole family

when he plowed into them after
speeding away from a liquor store holdup.

But hey, that's okay, man.

Because they shouldn't
have been in that intersection.

That wasn't Jake's fault!

You may be ready to die today...

- (SOBBING)
- but I doubt the lady is.

Ponch.

You take your hands off her.

Jake, come on,
man, let's not do this.

You can let her go, Jake.

I've said it all.

You just showed Charlie
what Jake Carr is all about.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

(GAS HISSING)

- This is it, Charlie.
- Come on, Jake, let's go home.

Come on.

Let her go.

You take the women into
the dinette and you cover me.

- Now, do it.
- (SOBS)

- I'll get the door.
- You stay where you are.

JAKE: Ah!

GETRAER: Up, drop it.

All right, hands behind
your head, come on.

Bruce.

NELSON: Are you all right?

(COUGHING) Yeah, I think so.

Lori?

- (COUGHING)
- Are you all right?

I'm okay.

Mrs. Winston?

I'm okay, I'm okay.

But I'm putting
this time on my bill!

(LAUGHS)

Partner, it's good to see you.

Partner, it's good
to see me, too.

Hello, Mom?

Please don't cry.

I'm all right. Rick's with me.

Honest, everything's all right.

We're coming home tonight.

I love you, too.

- Are they mad?
- Just worried.

Come on, we can
wait in the coffee room.

I've finished the crime report. How
are you doing on the arrest forms?

Almost done, Ponch.

Come on, Bobby. I don't wanna spend
my whole day off in the report room.

You know, I have never
been in a police station before.

This is really exciting.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

(CACKLING)

Read it and weep.

100%.

(ALL CHEERING)

Well, that's really
socking it to 'em.

Here's the pool.

Let's see. No misses.
No misses. zero misses.

Everyone picked me to get 100%.

Except one.

Officer Arthur Grossman
predicted he'd miss three.

Grossie, you owe the
children's hospital 25 bucks.

(ALL LAUGHING)

25 bucks.

Well, I'm glad to see
that I run a happy ship.

Sarge, can you approve
these reports while you're here?

Well, normally I prefer to have

the concerned officers present
while I go over their reports,

so they can correct
their usual errors,

but I'm gonna let my
policy slide this time.

Thank you, Sarge. I'll
make it up to you, I promise.

Come on. Let's get outta here.

I know a great restaurant
with big private booths.

(PHONE RINGING)

Report room.

Just a minute, please.

Miss, it's for you.

Hello? Yes.

Yes, I understand.

Mmm-hmm.

As fast as I can.

- What's the matter?
- (SIGHS)

One of the girls called in sick,

and I've got to cover
for her on the next flight.

Now?

Now.

Well, when am I
gonna see you again?

Oh, Ponch, I'm sorry.

I promise, the next layover,
we'll spend the whole day together.

Well, when will that be?

- For sure on New Year's Day.
- New Year's Day?

ALL: No chance.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)