06x20 - Fast Company

[bunniefuu]

How long have you
been an officer now?

Exactly 56 minutes.

I'm asking one last time.

And the answer is no.

- (TWINS SCREAMING)
- Just stay calm.

Not a cloud in the sky.

Then what do you call that?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Something's wrong, Ponch.

Except for the change in
uniform, I still feel like a cadet.

How long have you
been an officer now?

Exactly 56 minutes.

Yeah, well, sometimes it
takes a full hour to sink in.

(LAUGHING)

Bruce, that 280Z up ahead?

Notice anything about it?

"1-J-C-Q-1-1-7."

That's the one that
was just reported stolen.

Let's get it back.

(SIRENS WAILING)

15-MARY-6 and 8, in
pursuit of a red Datsun.

License 1-J-C-Q-1-1-7.
Southbound on highway.

Request assistance.

(WAILING CONTINUES)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- (TIRES SCREECHING)
- (HORN HONKING)

(SIRENS WAILING DISTANTLY)

LA-MARY-6 and 8. We
have a major accident.

- Hey, get me out of here.
- Take it easy, help's on the way.

(CHATTERING)

Well, well, what do you know?
The new probie didn't get lost.

What did you do,
Ponch, tie a string to him?

Nah, he dropped bread
crumbs on the freeway.

Hey, come on, you guys, nobody
picks on my new partner but me.

But if you wanna know the truth,

I tied a string to him, and
dropped bread crumbs.

- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Thanks a lot, partner.

GETRAER: All
right, let's get to work.

It's not a holiday.

- Since when don't we work holidays?
- (OFFICERS LAUGHING)

Poncherello,

that car theft suspect you picked
up, what did you find out about him?

He's a punk who just finished
serving six years for Grand Theft Auto.

Is he working alone?

He's part of a ring. He steals the car
and drops it off at a prearranged spot.

Who picks it up from there?

He says he never hung
around long enough to find out.

I guess we don't have
any idea who he works for?

All right with you, partner?

- Sure, go right ahead.
- Thanks.

He said the top man
is Max the Broker.

Operates around the
Lone Canyon/Juniper area.

That's about 75
miles south of here.

I think we ought to take a ride
down there and check it out, Sarge.

Oh, do you? Well, I'm glad
to hear that, Officer Nelson.

Frank, you and Bruce
check out Lone Canyon.

Bobby, Kathy, see what
you can find out in Juniper.

Uh, assuming it's all right
with Officer Nelson, too.

I couldn't have said it
better myself, Sarge.

Well, thank you.

We'll be on our way
right after the briefing.

Uh... Officer Nelson...

Thank you, Officer Nelson.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

The LAPD is still asking for our help
in locating those two m*rder witnesses

known as the zodiac Twins.

Gemini and Aquarius.

Yeah, that's right. All
we have to go on is that

they're about 18, 5'6"...

- Have long blond hair...
- And very pretty.

- Wear leather headbands.
- And are partial to skintight jeans.

(CHUCKLES) Well, I can
see that I don't have to tell you

to keep your eyes open for them.

Any questions?

Okay, let's get out there and give
the taxpayers their money's worth.

- Got a minute?
- Sure.

Ponch, I'll catch up with you.

What's up?

Well, I was going through my
drawers this morning... (CHUCKLES)

and I happened to come
across this little horseshoe.

Bobby, who you trying to kid?

"Kid"? What you're
talking about?

You carry that thing
with you everywhere.

It was Dad's. He gave
it to you for good luck.

And now I want you to have it.

I think he would've
wanted you to have it, too.

Thanks, Bobby.

You just be careful.

It's a lot tougher
than it looks.

With you, this,

best training
officer in the world,

how can I go wrong?

You can't.

- Go get 'em, tiger.
- Thanks.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- Ready, partner?
- You bet.

(CHUCKLES) Let's hit it.

BRUCE: "Welcome to Lone Canyon."

How would you like to pull a
graveyard shift in a place like this?

I've done it, when I haven't quite
come up to the Sarge's expectations.

Well, now that I'm your partner,

- you won't have that problem again.
- (CHUCKLES)

How did I ever live without you?

Beats me.

The sheriff's
station's over there.

Ah, Captain Burke.

Sergeant Getraer, I'd like you
to meet my little grandson, Billy.

- Ah, Billy, it's very nice to meet you.
- Thank you, sir.

He's a very polite young man.

He's been raised the old-fashioned
way, to respect his elders.

That's why I'm sure he
won't be any problem to you.

Um... Problem to me?

Yes, you see I was planning
on keeping him with me today,

but then this meeting
at City Hall came up,

which I have to attend,

so I figured I'd leave him
here for a couple of hours.

You don't mind,
do you, Sergeant?

- Mind? No, no, not at all.
- Good.

Well, can't keep
the Mayor waiting.

- Give Gramps a kiss, Billy.
- Bye, Gramps.

Bye.

You take good care of him,
Sergeant. He's our pride and joy.

Well, don't you worry, Captain,

I'm gonna take care of him
like he was my very own.

(CHUCKLES)

SHERIFF BOLT: (STUTTERS)
Let me get this straight.

Now, you guys
came all the way out

to Lone Canyon from Los
Angeles to find Max the Broker?

That's right. And we'd appreciate
all the help you could give us.

(CHUCKLES)

Sheriff Bolt, do you
know who he is?

Yes, I do.

You see, his name is Max Kenner.

And he lived out here
for the last 15, 20 years.

Oh, he's been accused of everything
from white sl*very to drug trafficking.

Notice I said, "accused of."

Never been
convicted of anything.

(CHUCKLES) What's
he wanted for now?

We're investigating
an auto theft ring.

He's been fingered
as the top man.

Do you know where
we can find him, Sheriff?

Yeah, I sure do.

(SIGHS)

Right there.

He's dead?

(CHUCKLES) If he weren't then, he is
now, because they buried him two days ago.

What did he die of?

Heart failure.

Man had a history
of heart disease.

Now, tell you what I'm
going to do for you, folks.

I'm gonna get the
coroner to send you guys

a copy of the death
certificate for the records, huh?

We'd appreciate that, sir.

Well, just consider it done.

Now, if there's nothing
else I can help you with,

I've gotta make my
rounds, you know.

Thanks for your help, Sheriff.

Anytime.

Here you are,
girls. Lone Canyon.

I even got you here
a few minutes early.

AQUARIUS: Thanks a lot.

(SIGHS) He's not here, Gemini.

The bus was a little
early. He'll be along.

Fifty miles over a rough road,

just to find out that our number
one suspect d*ed of a heart att*ck.

(CHUCKLES) Just goes to show
you, Bruce, you can't lose them all.

Bruce.

Nice.

Too bad we're here to work.

That is work. Leather headband.

BRUCE: Skin tight jeans.

The zodiac Twins.

That's right, rookie.

I don't see him.

(EXHALES) Gemini, I'm scared.

Join the club.

- There's a diner. Let's get off this road.
- But what about Tony?

Well, he'll be able to see
us from there. Come on.

Come on.

Any trouble, R.J.?

Could be, Rooster.

Could be.

(LAUGHING)

(GIGGLES) These aren't bad.

Yeah, right out of
Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

Don't you wish we
were there right now?

Thanks.

Gemini, what happens
if Tony doesn't show up?

I mean, where are we gonna go?

He'll show.

- Well, then where is he?
- Relax.

Any minute, he's gonna come
walking right through that door.

(GASPS) My moon
is in the wrong planet.

I just know it.

Good afternoon, girls.

My name's Frank Poncherello,
California Highway Patrol.

- This is my partner, Bruce Nelson.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- But we were just leaving.

- We'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Mind if we sit down?

We only made
reservations for two.

Oh, that's all right. I'll tip the
head waiter on the way out.

What do you want?

We're looking for two girls who
call themselves the zodiac Twins.

(CHUCKLES) Do we
look like twins to you?

We said, "called
themselves" the zodiac Twins.

Maybe they're just
friends. Star sisters,

who happened to be in the
wrong place at the wrong time.

(STAMMERS) What place is that?

A house in the Hollywood Hills,
where they saw a big-time drug dealer

by the name of Jerry Mize
k*ll one of his associates.

May we see some
identification, please?

We don't have any.

- Our purses were lost...
- Were stolen.

- Which?
- Stolen.

That's right, stolen.

Look, we don't know anybody
by the name of Jerry Mize,

and we didn't see
anybody get k*lled.

That's the truth.

Then you won't mind coming
back to Los Angeles with us.

Are you giving us a choice?

Sorry, the LAPD has
a warrant out on you.

I'll go radio in for
some transportation.

Believe me, you're a lot luckier
we found you than Jerry Mize.

How about another lemonade?

No, thanks.

But you know what I'd like?

To freshen up a bit.

Wanna come with
me to the ladies room?

Yes.

You don't mind, do you?

Sure, go right ahead.

But the bathroom window has bars
on it. I happened to notice on my way in.

And I can keep my eye
on the back door from here.

Thanks. Thanks a whole bunch.

Come in, LA-15-MARY-6.

(RADIO STATIC)

Come in, LA-15MARY-6.

Come in, LA-15-MARY-6.

(STATIC CONTINUES)

(DINER DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

They sending a cruiser?

I couldn't get through.

It's probably the
mountain range.

Yeah, that's possible.

Excuse me, do you
have a phone I could use?

Don't have a public phone.

You calling long distance?

I'll make it collect.

Okay, you can use this one.

Thanks.

(CLACKING)

It's dead.

Can't be. I used it
just a minute ago.

Maybe so, friend,
but it's dead now.

You have to negotiate.

You got it, R.J.

You got it.

I can't understand
it. I paid the bill.

(VEHICLES APPROACHING)

What do you think, Ponch?

I think we're about to
have some company.

Hey, Ponch, maybe he
wants to buy us a cup of coffee.

Oh-ho! That's what I like about
you, Bruce, always the optimist.

Officer Poncherello,

I, uh, I thought you would
be heading back to LA?

We were, but some
business came up.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Some mighty fine business, huh?

The LAPD would like to
talk to these two young ladies.

Well, I'm sure they would.

But I'm afraid they're just
gonna have to wait in line.

What does that mean?

Well, that means that I
have a warrant for their arrest.

A warrant for our arrest?
What are you talking about?

Well, it seems they've been
traveling around the county

getting in all sorts of trouble.

Shoplifting, disorderly conduct,

using their...

(CHUCKLES)

Their pretty faces

to take advantage of some of
the less-worldly male citizens.

I'm sure you get the picture.

That's a lie! We've never been
anywhere near this dump before.

Can I see the warrant, Sheriff?

Oh, it's, uh... It's
back at the office.

I'll be glad to go back there
with you and have a look at it.

Are you saying you
don't believe me?

No, we're just saying we'd like to see
it before turning these girls over to you.

And I'm saying I don't
have to show you anything.

You're in my jurisdiction now,

and if you know
what's good for you,

you'll just hop on your little
bike and head back to LA.

Not until we see a
warrant, signed by a judge.

I'm asking one last time.

And the answer is no.

(CHUCKLES)

Aren't you just a little young

to be making important
decisions like that?

Officer?

Sheriff, you're right.

We're saying no.

Then you and your partner
just made one big mistake.

You see what you've done.

If you had just let us go...

You'd be in his
custody right now.

He wants you.

I don't know why,
but he wants you.

Ponch, our bikes!

Lock them up in
the impound yard.

- Hey, you...
- Hey, Bruce, wait a minute.

There's five of them out there.

- Ponch, we gotta do something.
- We will.

First, we gotta
think things out.

We've also got
them to think about.

- You're getting cold.
- (CHUCKLES)

Cold.

Now you're getting warm.

A little warmer.

Warmer.

- Now you're cold again.
- Billy.

Billy.

Uh...
- Son... - I'm not your son!

I know. I know,
that's just a term of...

Well, it's just a term.

Look, Billy,

the truth of the matter is,
I've got a lot of work to do.

And since you've locked my desk
and you've locked up my cabinets,

I can't get any of it done.

So, uh, why don't you
be a good little boy...

I'm not a little boy!

A little man. A little man.

And tell me where
you put the keys.

You're getting hot.

Now what do we play?

Sarge, here's the mileage
reports you asked for.

Oh, Harlan, it's good
to see you. (LAUGHS)

- It is?
- Yes, I'd like you to meet Billy.

Captain Burke's grandson.

Oh! That Billy. Well, it's a
pleasure to meet you, young man.

My pleasure, sir.

He is so polite.

Isn't he?

Hey, Billy, perhaps Uncle Harlan
here would like to show you his garage.

Oh! Would you, Uncle Harlan?

Oh, it'd be my
pleasure. Sure, come on.

Oh, and Harlan, remember,

that's Captain
Burke's pride and joy.

He's got two more
men covering the back.

- Any movement out there?
- Sheriff Bolt went back to the station.

Now I'm really worried.

Hey, hey.

I'd like to help.

Really!

But you don't know
Sheriff Bolt the way I do.

You don't do what he
says and he'll skin you alive.

I'd like to help.

But this is the only home I got.

I understand. Go on.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Central, MARY-7 for S-3?

Central by, S-3, go ahead.

Sergeant Getraer, this
is Bobby, we're in Juniper.

GETRAER: Any luck in
locating Max the Broker?

No. No one's ever
heard of him around here.

Have you heard from Ponch?

No, nothing yet.

That's funny, I thought
you'd hear from him by now.

Well, he'll probably
be checking in soon.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

See you later.

Lone Canyon?

Lone Canyon.

Ponch, Sheriff's coming back!

These ought to do the trick.

- It's tear gas.
- Tear gas?

- Come on, girls, let's get in the back.
- What is this, World w*r Ill?

Bruce, go out there and check that
truck. See if you can get it started.

Girls, wet these, put
them over your eyes.

- (TWINS SCREAMING)
- Just stay calm!

Come on, put these
over your eyes!

- Come on! (COUGHS)
- AQUARIUS: I want to go home!

(LAUGHS)

- Any luck?
- (TWINS COUGHING)

I hot-wired the ignition,
it still won't fire up!

I got to clean these cables.

There's enough tear gas in there
to drive out a herd of elephants.

The garage. They must've
gone into the garage!

Put one in there!

- Try it now!
- (ENGINE TURNING)

Again!

(TWINS SCREAM)

Stay close to the ground!

- (SCREAMING)
- Give it another try!

- (ENGINE TURNING)
- Come on! Come on! Turn over!

(ENGINE STARTS)

BOTH: That's my partner!

PONCH: Okay,
let's get out of here.

Ponch, you don't really expect to
outrun them in this antique, do you?

- (ALL COUGHING)
- No. Outsmart them.

It'll be all right,
girls. Hang in there.

All right, put on your masks
and go in there and get them!

- (ENGINE REVVING)
- Wait a minute!

Listen...

It's coming from the garage.

SHERIFF BOLT: Get
after them. Come on!

PONCH: How you doing, girls?

- Hurry!
- Come on.

- Hurry!
- Great.

- Get those two helmets on.
- AQUARIUS: Yes, sir.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- Where is he?
- You two stay here.

Look over there. He
ain't going much further.

Truck's right ahead.

Get them! Come on.

Watch it...

Watch where you're going!

SHERIFF BOLT: Whoa!

MAN: Jump!

BRUCE: Hop on it, partner!

Do you realize the CHP
just bought that truck?

- It was for sale, wasn't it?
- (LAUGHS)

See if Tex is all right.

MAN 2: Store dummies!

We've been slickered!

All right. Come on,
let's get out of here.

- Come on, guys!
- Hurry!

- Hurry!
- Come on, guys!

- Hurry!
- Hurry up!

- Thanks for the lift.
- Just happened to be going the same way.

- Come on, hop on.
- And hang on.

PONCH: Goodbye to Lone Canyon.

No way we're gonna
catch them now.

They've still got
a long way to go.

We'll catch them.

I hope you guys realize you
made a very large mistake.

We're not the zodiac Twins.

And we're not the kind
of girls you think we are.

- What kind is that?
- Wild.

Hate to disappoint you,
but that's not what we think.

- You really want to know what we think?
- We're listening.

- That you're a couple of nice kids and...
- "Kids"? Barf!

- How does "young ladies" sound?
- Double barf.

All right, "foxes".

Now, that's hot.

Two foxes who
outgrew their small town,

came to Los Angeles
looking for excitement

and ended up seeing
someone get k*lled.

You still there?

No, we just got
off at the last stop.

Ponch, up ahead!
A construction crew.

They must have a radio,
we can contact Central.

We got it made!

Bruce! Stop!

Bruce! Stop! It's
a trap! It's a trap!

Hang on!

(BOTH SCREAM)

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

Thanks for caring.

PONCH: You all right?
BRUCE: Sure, we're all right.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I think so.

That's a lot more than I can
say for your chain, it's broken.

Ponch, how did you
know that was a trap?

Construction crews always post
warning signs up ahead. It's the law.

I'm sure glad one of us knew.

- It's really messed up.
- Think you can fix it?

I'll give it my best sh*t.

(CLATTERING)

They went right
upside the mountain.

There was no way my
cars could get up there.

Then track them on foot and make sure
they don't double back to the highway!

Anything you say, Sheriff.

You guys get the
bulldozer and pull this out.

You're with me.

KATHY: Bobby,
look at that garage.

- How's it coming?
- Shouldn't be too much longer.

Neither should they.

Get down. Get down.

Those men, they're
going to be here soon.

Don't worry, we'll be
on our way by then.

And what happens if we're
not? They want to k*ll us!

I don't know why, we never
did anything to hurt them.

We never did anything
to hurt anybody.

- You believe me, don't you, Bruce?
- Yeah, I believe you.

- And you're not gonna let them k*ll us?
- No, I won't let them k*ll you.

But why don't you
help us? Tell me truth.

There's nothing to tell.

Bruce, I'm so
afraid. We both are.

I understand,
but I'm telling you,

we won't let them or anyone else
hurt you. You've just have to trust us.

I do.

(SIGHS) I better let you
get back to your work.

You're getting hot.

You're getting hot.

You're getting real hot.

(IN SING-SONG) You
found them, you found them.

(NORMAL VOICE) Now,
what do you want to play?

(MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING)

Hey, Harlan, would you
take a look at my brakes?

- That's interesting.
- What is?

A small plane just landed in the
desert outside of Lone Canyon.

And guess who's
out there to meet it?

Sheriff R. J. Bolt.

BRUCE: What are they doing now?

PONCH: I'd say unloading
about 200 kilos of marijuana

and putting it
into Bolt's truck.

dr*gs. That's
Jerry Mize's action.

It sure is. And if
Bolt's in it with him,

that explains why he's so anxious to
get his hands on our two friends here.

Okay, foxes, it's about
time we had a talk.

- We just want to get out of here.
- We're scared.

We want to help you.

What do you say?

All right, we are
the zodiac Twins.

I'm Aquarius, she's Gemini.

And you saw Jerry Mize
k*ll a man named Pete Rolls?

Yes.

We met Pete at this rock
concert. He seemed like a nice guy.

He even offered
to help us get a job.

What were you
doing at his house?

He invited us over
to use the pool.

When we were there,
this Jerry Mize stopped by.

He didn't even know
we were outside.

Pete went inside to talk to him,

and the next thing we
knew, they started to fight.

And Mize took out
a g*n and sh*t him.

And when he looked up, he
saw us watching from the pool.

We split the back way. He's
been looking for us ever since.

Who is this Tony you
were supposed to meet?

Oh, he was with Pete
at this rock concert.

And he told you to meet
him out here at Lone Canyon?

Yes. He said he could help us leave
the country, where Mize couldn't find us.

Guess he was kind of
leading us to a slaughter, huh?

Let's just say, with friends like
Tony you don't need enemies.

BRUCE: I'm almost finished.

Finished. (GRUNTS)

Good timing, rookie.

BRUCE: You think it'll hold?

- What did you use for a link?
- Two generations of luck.

I got a feeling we're gonna
make it all the way home.

All right, girls, let's hop on.

Partner, you know
we can't go down.

- Oh, you're kidding me.
- Would I kid you?

You're right. Guess we'll
just have to go up and over.

See you guys around!

(MOTORCYCLES STARTING)

If you're ever in
LA, give us a call!

You were almost on top of
them, and they still got away?

We weren't exactly on top of
them, they were on top of us,

and they had wheels.

- SHERIFF BOLT: Which way are they headed?
- Over the mountain.

I guess they'll pick up
the 310 on the other side.

All right, I'll
handle it from here.

You're getting warm.

You're getting warmer.

You're getting...

Hey, how's Uncle
Grossie treating you, Billy?

Just fine, Uncle Webster.

He's such a polite young man.

Yes, isn't he?

See you, Grossie.

Now you're cold again.

You girls all right?

We'll let you know
when we quit shaking.

I suppose this is just an
average day's work for you.

Well, when you've been a patrolman
for as long as I have, you get used to it.

The 310's about a mile
up the road, old timer!

- Heard anything yet, Sarge?
- No, nothing yet.

BOBBY: (ON RADIO)
Central, MARY-7 for S-3.

Central by, S-3,
go ahead, Bobby.

Sarge, Ponch and
Bruce are in trouble.

They had to fight their
way out of Lone Canyon.

According to the owner of the
diner, they had two girls with them.

Looks like they hooked
themselves up with the zodiac Twins.

All right, see if you
can pick up their trail.

I'll put out a broadcast
alerting all units in the field.

10-4.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

- Homeward stretch, here we come!
- I'm glad you're happy.

Me, I'm still scared to death.

Hey, come on, it's
all downhill from here.

Don't be too sure.

Haven't you ever heard of
the quiet before the storm?

Ponch, look up, there's
not a cloud in the sky!

Isn't there?

Then what do you call that?

It's not a crop duster.
There's no crops!

- Now you're learning! Girls...
- We know! "Hang on!"

Right!

- BRUCE: What are we gonna do, Ponch?
- Just keep ducking.

(AQUARIUS SCREAMS)

GEMINI: Look out!

PONCH: Our only chance is to lure
him over to those telephone wires!

BRUCE: Okay, let's go for it!

- (EXCLAIMS)
- (AIRPLANE ENGINE STOPS)

- You're under arrest, Sheriff!
- (SHOUTS IN PAIN)

Being a peace officer, I'm
sure you know your rights.

- But I'm gonna give them to you anyway.
- That's very kind of you.

Have you seen Webster?

Yeah, about a half hour ago,
when I turned Billy over to him.

(METALLIC RATTLING)

(RATTLING CONTINUES)

(PANTING)

- Billy?
- (MUMBLING)

(SIGHS)

Webster. I'm sorry.

I want to thank you, Sergeant.

Billy just told me what
a good time he had.

Well, it was our
pleasure. (LAUGHS)

He's a, uh...

- Polite young man.
- Good, I'm glad you feel that way.

Next time something like this comes
up, I'll know exactly where to leave him.

Oh. Well, we'll be
looking forward to it.

- Say goodbye, Billy.
- Bye!

Bye, Billy.

Come, Billy.

What a polite young man.

Yeah, haven't seen a kid
that nice since The Omen.

We'll have Webster
drive you down to LAPD

- so you can give them your statement.
- What will happen then?

They'll pick up Jerry Mize
and charge him with m*rder.

You'll most likely be placed under
protective custody until after the trial.

Tell you the truth, I'd rather see a
Fourth of July parade in Coeur d'Alene.

Anyway, at least next time we'll be
more particular about choosing our friends.

Now, that's sounds
like a good idea.

Webster, I'd like you to
meet Aquarius and Gemini.

- Hi.
- Jeannie and Jan.

- Those are our real names.
- I like them a lot better.

This way, ladies.

Bye.

It's a good feeling, Ponch,
helping people out of trouble.

Partner, it's only
the beginning.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)