05x08 - Breaker, Breaker

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Times". Aired: February 8, 1974, to August 1, 1979.*
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A spin-off of Maude, which itself is a spin-off of All in the Family, making Good Times the first television spin-off from another spin-off; revolving around a poor family making the best of things in the Chicago housing projects.
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05x08 - Breaker, Breaker

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪

Some of these personal
ads sure do get personal.

Here's a man that'll pay $100
reward for return of his dog.

No questions asked.

And here's another
that'll pay $25 reward,

for the return of his wife,

and a lot of questions asked!

Thelma. How come you spendin'
so much time fixing your face

just to go to the library?

Well, Michael, you never
know when you'll meet a guy

who'll wanna take out
something besides a book!

That's true.

Instead of reading a horror
story, he'll go out with one.

All right, buddy, that's 12.

Twelve what?

Twelve times you've hassled me

since Ma's been gone.

You mean, you've been
keeping a hassle list?

Now that's a dirty,
low-down, rotten, sneaky...

Thirteen!

What do you mean thirteen?

Put down the paper
and put down the comb,

'cause the ebony
bread-winner has arrived home.

Hey!

Ain't anybody gonna ask
me how the day at work went?

Glad y'all asked.

Had a big business
lunch with the boss.

Took me to one of
those fancy restaurants:

La Grande de
Maison la Cherbourg!

That's French for, "The
hamburgers cost 5 dollars."

What's in the box, J.J.?

Ah, glad you asked, Michael.

As I was perusing my wardrobe,

I came to the
startling realization

that I was short... of shorts!

I got one for each
day of the week.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

Thursday, Friday, Sunday.

What you gonna do for Saturday?

Hmm... guess I'm gonna
have to live dangerously!

Oh, I'll get it.

Okay, I'll see you guys later.

All right, Thelma.

Oh, Bookman, what do you want?

I'm surprised at you, Thelma.

You should never look
the gift horse in the mouth.

How can I?

I always think of you

as the other end of the horse!

Horse? It's more like Orca,

The k*ller Whale of the Ghetto.

Just for that,

I'm not gonna let you have this.

What you got there, Bookman?

You got a CB goin'.

Hold on, Bookman,

you were gonna let us have a CB?

Out of the goodness of my heart.

Oh, yeah, I would like
to believe that, Bookman,

except for two little details:

You have no goodness,
and you have no heart.

Watch it, J.J.

Don't put your
fingerprints on that.

'Cause that CB
could also stand for

Citizen Burglarized!

I'm appalled that
you would think that.

Okay, I'll hand
it to ya straight.

I'm in a bind.

You gotta hold this
CB until the heat's off.

You were right, Michael.

He swiped it!

No, man. I bought it.

As a matter of fact,

I'll be buying it for
the next 36 months.

You see, the heat
is Mrs. Bookman.

Hold on, you mean Mrs.
Bookman is the fuzz?

Only a little on her
upper lip, a little bit.

You see, the problem is,

Mrs. Bookman caught me
talking on the CB to a trucker.

And what's wrong with that?

The trucker's name was Florence.

Flatbed Florence!

I see why you're in trouble.

Hey, that's only half of it.

She hit the ceiling
when she found out

what my CB name was.

What do you call
yourself, Bookman?

Big Bad Buffalo Butt?

No, man!

I'm known over the airways as...

Super Stud!

Bookman, I don't
think it's the name

that's buggi" Mrs. Bookman.

It's the lie!

Now that's a cold sh*t.

But I need you.

Hey, J.J., do you know
how to operate a CB?

That's like asking the
Harlem Globetrotters

if they know how to dribble!

Let's check it out.

Check it out!

Hey, remember, fellas.

Don't let anybody
know about this. Okay?

I mean, Mrs. Bookman
thinks I'm getting rid of it.

But this is our little secret.

Hi, y'all.

Look-a here, look-a here!

Bookman, what you doing?

Nothing.

Uh-huh, I know.

That's that CB radio you bought,

that's gonna take you
three years to pay off,

that your old
lady will get rid of,

'cause she found out you
was hittin' on some chick.

Ain't that right, Super Stud?

How do you know about that?

Willona got her own antenna.

Pardon me.

Now, I promised your
Mama I'd look in on ya.

Let's count noses.
There's one, two...

Where is the other nose?

Thelma went to the library.

Oh, yeah.

To meet someone
who might be interested

in taking out something
beside a book.

I gotta get home now and
get Penny's dinner started.

I'll see ya later, Super Tub.

She does have her own antenna.

Hey J.J.,

will you show me how
to operate this CB?

Mon pleasure, lil'
brother, mon pleasure.

Well, fellas, uh...

Take care of my little
baby for me, okay?

See, Michael, all you gotta do

is just turn this
little switch here.

And you're on the air.

Don't play that thing too
loud, or I'll have to evict you!

This is Sampson, where
are you, Lady Lou? Over.

Southbound on Loomis. Over.

Breaker one-six.
Breaker one-six.

Go ahead, breaker.

What's the handle? Over.

J.J.

"J" who?

Uh... You take one "J,"

and then you take another "J,"

and that adds up to me! J.J.!

Tall, tan, good-looking,
and the inventor of cool!

You have a sexy voice, Mr. J.J.

Well, if you think
the voice is sexy,

wait till you see the
body that it comes out of.

In time.

Right now, I got to back on out.

Ten four, J.J.

Ten fo-wo-wo-ur!

Yeah.

Okay, Michael, now there ya go.

All ya gotta do is,

whenever you go in on a channel,

just say "breaker,"

give your breaker
number and handle.

I can't!

Sure you can!

J.J., I know what to
say on the telephone,

but I don't know
how to talk on no CB!

Hey, Michael, nobody
expects you to be as glib as me.

I mean, if they had a
contest, they'd nominate me

for the Golden Tongue Award!

Just open your mouth
and keep it flappin'!

Hey, where you going?

Michael, I paid for Saturday.

And I'm gonna get Saturday!

This is Fun Girl
calling Chopper.

Come in, Chopper.

Come in, Chopper. Over.

Um... um... Fun Girl?

That doesn't sound
like you, Chopper.

Um, it's not, it's...
What's your handle?

Handle? Um, uh...

I didn't read. Come on, breaker.

Gimme a handle or clear the air!

Um... J.J.!

"J" who?

J.J.!

You know, you take one
"J," then take another "J,"

put them both together,
and you got me.

J.J.!

Hey! That's cool!

I don't recognize your handle.

How long have you had ears?

Ears?

They came with my head.

You're funny!

Hey, how'd you get
the handle "Fun Girl"?

'Cause I like fun things.

Dancing, bike riding,

walks in the park, bowling.

You name it.

If it's fun, I like it!

Hey, well, then it's a
cinch that you'll like me.

'Cause when you talk about fun,

I am the most!

How old are you?

I'm 6... times four, minus two,

which would give you an even 22.

You know, sometimes
I wonder how I was able

to squeeze so much
charm into so few years!

Hey, what do you do?

Er, um... I am an
artiste at an ad agency.

What do you do?

I'm a dancer.

Hey, what do you look like?

Uh, let's just say I am
blessed with the best.

What do you look like?

What do I sound
like I look like?

All right! Hey!

Hey, J.J.

I really liked
jaw-jacking with you,

but I've gotta sign off now.

I'll be back on at 2100,

lookin' for you, baby.

Roger and out.

Um, roger and out!

Ow! Serious CB jaw!

Um, I bet you probably
have a big date tonight, huh?

Wrong.

Oh. Well...

isn't there anybody
you want to go visit?

Mm-mm.

What about Lorraine Buchanan?

Oh, Michael.

I haven't talked to
her in over two years.

You kidding?

Thelma, that's
even a better reason

to drop in and say hello!

Michael.

Hm?

Are you trying to get
me outta the house?

Who, me?

Whatever gave you that idea?

You! Well, if
you are, forget it.

'Cause I'm tired,

and nothing's gettin' me
outta the house tonight.

Hi! MICHAEL: Hi.

Me and Willona are gonna
bake a cake and need two eggs.

Hey, I'll get 'em.

Hey, Thelma, why
don't you help her.

Hey, that'd be a great idea!

You're a regular
genius in that kitchen.

Wait a minute.

You always complain
about my cooking.

You know, Thelma, lately,
it has been improving.

As a matter of fact,

I haven't thrown
up for over a month!

Michael, are you sure you're
not trying to get rid of me?

Who, me?

We need some flour too.

Flour. All right.

Here ya go.

And a cup of milk.

Cup of milk.

No, make that two cups.

One for the cake and one for me.

Here ya go.

All I need is two cups.

That's okay. Take
the whole thing.

Bring back what you don't need.

And do you have a cake pan?

Cake pan, um...

Hey, hold on. I
got a better idea!

Why don't you just borrow this?

That's the kind of
cake I like to bake best.

One that came from the store!

Thelma, you wanna
come and help us eat it?

Yeah, that's a good idea!

Thelma's even more
of a genius at eating

than she is at baking.

Okay, Michael.

But nothing better not
be going on around here.

You hear me?

Okay, come on, Penny. Let's go.

See y'all later.

All right, now.

Oh, yeah, Chopper,

I'd love to go dancing with you.

But, you know,

I'm all dated up for
the next three weeks.

Or maybe it's four! Over.

I'm sure anxious to get
together with you, Fun Girl.

Um... breaker one-nine.

Break acknowledged.
What's your handle?

This is J.J., and I'm
calling for Fun Girl.

Sounds like a
personal thing to me,

so I'm gone. Over and out.

I nearly gave up on you, J.J.

I've been thinki" about you.

I felt, you know,

like we really kinda
dig on each other.

Hey, baby, you know how it go.

You dig, I dig.

Together, we're dug!

Hey, I got an idea.

How 'bout you and me
getting together sometime,

and weaving a
little magic spell?

Well, I'd like to know
more about you, first.

What more do you need
to know except that I'm tall,

good-looking and
the inventor of cool!

What do you do
at the agency, J.J.?

I'm indispensable!

The boss takes me to
all the big luncheon deals.

Like today, we had lunch at La
Grande Maison de Cherbourg!

That's French for, "We get
6 bucks for a hamburger!"

Five bucks!

Um... Yeah, J.J.

Man, I didn't expect
you home so soon.

Yeah, I bet you
didn't, little bro.

Say again?

Yeah, go ahead and say it again.

I can hardly wait to hear
what J.J.'s gonna say next.

Stand by, Fun Girl.

What's all this about?

J.J., I was just kidding.

You know, Fun
Girl doesn't even...

She doesn't know
either one of us.

Look here, Michael.

I have a tough enough time
being me as it is. You know?

You could never be me anyway!

Now look here, Michael.

You get back on that horn
and tell that girl the truth.

Come on, J.J., man.

You're not gonna
ask me to do that.

I'm not asking
you. I'm telling you.

Otherwise, I'm gonna
have you arrested

for impersonating a prince!

Fun Girl standing by.

Are you still on, J.J.?

Go ahead, Michael.

Fun Girl?

Is that you, J.J.?

Well, yeah. Sort
of. I mean, like...

It is and it isn't.

It isn't.

I don't understand.

If you're not J.J.,

then what's your handle?

I really don't have one.

My real name is Michael.

Then what about
all that other stuff?

About being good-looking,

about being an
artiste at an ad agency,

about being tall, and cool.

What about all that, huh?

My older brother's
all those things.

Older bro...?

How old are you?

Seventeen.

Sixteen.

You can't be very much,

if you have to pretend
to be your brother.

Remember my handle, Fun Girl?

All that talk about
taking me dancing,

taking me for walks in the park,

taking me bike riding?

I hope you had fun funnin' me!

Hey, but Fun Girl...

Sorry, buddy. Off the air.

Mm-mm-mm.

They got Hamburger
Helper, Tuna Helper.

Uh-oh, look, there's
something new here.

Junk Food Helper!

Hey, Willona, I'm
gonna go bowling.

Do you think my
pants are a little tight?

Honey, if they were any tighter,

you'd have to wear
them under your skin!

Oh, Willona!

Well, I won't be out too late.

See ya! See ya, Mike!

Yeah, all right. Bye.

Ah, Gramps, come on, honey.

You been moping around here
like you were Farrah Fawcett

and you discovered
you got a bald spot

in the top of your head.

Still feeling down
about Fun Girl, huh?

Yeah, Willona.

I only got a chance
to speak to her

on the CB a few times.

I really started to like her.

If only I hadn't
pretended to be J.J.

Amen for that!

Gramps, honey, look.

You got a whole lot to offer
a girl just being yourself.

Yeah? Name one thing.

You're conscientious.
You're a good-looking boy.

And someday soon, you're gonna
be a handsome, fine young man.

But what's more important,
you got a good heart,

and I love you, baby.

Hey, Willona.

You sure you didn't say that

just to make me feel better?

Mm-hmm.

That's why I said it.

But also because it
happens to be true.

I'll see ya later, sugar.

Yeah, thanks!

Okay.

Well?

How does Saturday grab you?

By the throat!

You know, J...

J.J., I surely hope
I don't look like that

when I get your age.

Michael, you're just jealous,

'cause you don't have a
physique as good as mine.

Physique?

J.J., man,

if you didn't have
varicose veins,

you wouldn't have
any legs at all!

Michael, if I'd known

I was gonna get
insulted like this,

I wouldn't have bothered
to get Fun Girl's name

and address for you.

You did that?!

J.J., man, how'd you do it?

Very simple, Michael.

Tell me!

I just got on my CB yesterday,

and I called Chopper,
who called Sampson,

who called The Red
Ryder over in Stickney.

He got in contact
with The Lone Ranger,

from Blue Island,

who got in contact with
Goldilocks from Oak Lawn,

who got in contact with The
Raven from Melrose Park,

who contacted all
the CB'ers in Cicero.

One of those
dudes got in contact

with Hot To Trot from Summit.

Hot to Trot got in contact
with The Black Widow

from the South Side.

And she relayed my
message on to The Pirate,

from River Forest,

who knows Fun Girl's
cousin personally.

And that's how I got it.

No trouble at all!

Now, here's her name.

It's Nancy Colten.

Now you can go over
there and apologize,

and let her meet the real you!

Okay.

And after she
meets the real you,

you can apologize for that!

Calling Michael.
Come in, Michael.

Come in.

Yes, what is it?

Um, I'm looking for a Nancy.

I'm Nancy Colten.

Oh, um...

Same first name...
Right first name but, um...

must be the wrong apartment.

Hey, I'm sorry to put
you through any trouble.

That's okay.

Yeah. Right. Bye.

Hey, Thelma... We
catch you on the flip.

Break one-nine.

It's The Mad Trucker
on that eight-O.

We looking? Come on.

Breaker one-nine.

Where you going, Mad Trucker?

Hey, thanks for the
comeback there, good buddy.

We're heading for
that Rock Island town.

What's your handle? Get back.

My handle?

Oh, uh... Bubblin' Brown Sugar.

But you can call me Bubblin'.

Ten four on the Bubblin'.

Hey, what's your 20?

You mobile or a base? Come on.

Am I a who? Uh...

Listen, uh... if you're
asking me if I'm home, yes.

I don't know whether I'm a base

or whatever you call that.

Ten-four on
whatever you call that.

I'll be back in Chi-Town
tomorrow, don't you know.

What about you and me
getting together? Get back.

Ask him if he's got a friend.

Girl, you almost
scared me to death!

You finish your homework?

Yeah. Keep talking to him! Okay.

Uh, Bubblin' Brown Sugar

for the Mad Trucker. Over.

Yeah, that's a big ten, roger.

I thought you backed out
without signing off. Get back.

Well, a friend of
mine just came in.

What's her handle? Come on.

Her handle? Uh...
The Lady In Red.

Oh, four-ten on The Lady in Red!

Hey, ladies, I got me a friend.

What about the four
of us getting together

and doing what comes naturally?

Get back.

How old is your friend?

Twenty-nine.

How 'bout your friend? Come on.

I'll let her tell you herself.

Hey, there, Lady in Red.

How old are you,
sweet thing? Come on.

I'll be 10 my next birthday.

But I'm very mature
for my age, big boy.

That's good!

This is The Mad Trucker.

We down, we gone. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye!

That was so cute!
I tell ya, he thinks...

Oh, Gramps!

Everything okay?

Uh-huh.

What does "uh-huh" mean?

Uh-huh means uh-huh!

Now, there's
some uh-huhs I like,

and then there's some
uh-huhs I don't like.

That's one of those
uh-huhs I don't like.

I don't like it either.

Come on, Penny.

Let's let Gramps work
out his own uh-huhs.

Bye, Michael.

Uh-huh.

Fun Girl calling Michael.

This is Fun Girl calling
Michael. Come in, Michael.

Uh, Fun Girl? This is Michael.

Where have you been?

I've been trying to reach
you for half an hour!

Are you okay?

Um, yeah!

But why are you calling me?

Hey, I thought you
were angry at me.

Well, I got to thinking

that maybe the other day
I was a little rough on you.

For a "fun girl," I
wasn't very much fun.

Hey, well, I had no business

pretending to be
someone that I wasn't.

Let's forget about all that.

Let's start being
friends all over again.

Hey, the other day you
said you'd take me dancing.

Did you mean it?

Dancing?

Oh.

Oh, yeah! Sure!

I'll take you dancing.

And I'll take you for
walks in the park too.

Hey! How would you
like to go roller skating?

Oh, I'd love to
go roller skating!

Hey, and we can go skiing too.

Would you like that?

Skiing sounds great!

We'll talk about it
some more, okay?

Okay.

Fun Girl clear...

Well!

I see y'all are friends again!

Oh. Yeah.

Well, Michael, you
don't have to thank me.

I mean, what are
big brothers for?

I don't expect any thanks!

Look, J.J., I got some things
to take care of right now.

So just leave me
alone, all right?

You're welcome.

Fun Girl calling Michael.

Come in, Michael!

Come in, Michael!

Do you have your ears on?

Uh, yeah, got ya loud
and clear there, Fun Girl.

Uh, Michael just took a hike.

This here is J.J.

Oh! J.J.!

I've heard a lot about you!

Indirectly.

Let me tell you, directly,

and very modestly,

that everything
you've heard is true!

Well, tell Michael I'll
be rappin' with him later.

I got something on my mind.

Listen, why don't you come
over and tell him in person?

In person?

Yeah! I'll give ya the address!

Well! Good work, troops.

Too bad y'all washed
those dishes up so quick.

Just when I was
gonna give y'all a hand!

Oh, yeah?

Well, we got a lot more left.

No, no. It's always
been my motto:

When something is going good,

don't mess with it!

It leaves my hands
free to handle the knock.

Yes, sir!

Hi.

Oh, of course we'll help you!

Of course we'll help you!

Here you go.

You don't understand.

I'm Fun Girl.

Oh, you're Fun Girl? Well...

Give my dollar back!

Come on in, here.

Uh... Fun Girl, this
here's my, uh, sister.

Thelma.

Hi, Hi! how are you?

And, uh, my brother, Michael.

Weren't you...?

You were the one who
came to my apartment!

Then you knew about me.

Oh.

You were gonna take
me dancing and skiing.

You didn't say anything.

You knew I couldn't walk.

And you still
wanted to be friends.

Well, you know.

I put you down for pretending
to be something you weren't.

When I was doing
exactly the same thing.

I guess that's why
they sell so many CB's.

Over the CB, you could
be whoever you want.

I'm sorry.

Hey! Wait a minute!

Where are you going?

I still wanna be friends.

You do?

Yeah, sure! We can do a
lot of fun things together.

I guess we could.

Hello, Michael.

Over.

Hello, Nancy.

Over.

Well, Thelma! Break
out the Kool-Aid!

And get that cake you
baked, if you can lift it.

Michael? Uh... I got
something to say.

Well, J.J., if it's about
my lying to you...

That's exactly what it's about.

Michael, you're a
beautiful person.

And I'm proud of you.

Well, you know.

What can I say?

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good times ♪
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